BladE's edge

My actual email to AIRTEL'S amazing customer service desk!

2011-12-31T12:17:00.000+05:30

Can't even tell you guys to stay off Airtel - every Telecom operator is as bad, I guess :) - pick your devil types !!! They have told me they will respond in 4 hours, will keep this updated :P !

From: Kant Ranjan
Sent: Saturday, December 31, 2011 12:12 PM
To: '121@airtel.in'
Subject: Complaint on Billing and disconnection from Account no. 14309089

Hi,

I have been asked to write to you by Mr. Amit, Airtel Service representative who called me from 09611237402 and I hope you can finally resolve my problem.

I have been an Airtel Fixed line + Broadband customer from 2006 (Phone no. 0124 4360947) billing in the range of Rs. 1000-1500 / month and recently shifted houses on 22nd Nov, 2011. Now, this is what happened:

1) On 21st Nov, 2011 I put in a shifting request vide request no. 7627090 which Amit tells me was technically examined and approved on 22nd Nov.

2) On 23rd Nov, an Airtel sales rep visited my new home and told me, "Sir, shifting will take atleast 5 months (!!!), you should buy a new connection" – I being a loyal customer, promptly called your call center and was told not to worry in the ususal scripted fashion (also telling me Aapka Din Shubh ho, which is really irritating, but obviously you care so much for the customers afterall!!)

3) Finally, completely irritated at the lack of internet, I filed a disconnection request on 28th Nov (7 days after which I had filed the shifting request) and was told it will be promptly disconnected.

4) On 16th Dec, I called again at 011-44444121 (because I no longer own an Airtel Landline and was on hold for 30 mins and this is pretty usual, let me again tell you) and was told the number has not been disconnected WHICH I INSISTED SHOULD BE DISCONNECTED AND I WILL NOT PAY ANY RENTAL BECAUSE I HAVEN'T USED ANY SERVICES DURING THIS PERIOD.

5) But, as with all things Airtel, I am duly given a bill of Rs. 900 on 26th December and I again called up 011-44444121 but this time it kept getting disconnected after 10 mins and nobody talking to me – again, usual AIRTEL.

6) Finally Amit calls me today and tells me my line is again ACTIVE !!!

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU ? CAN YOU GUYS SIMPLY DISCONNECT MY LINE AND LEAVE ME IN PEACE – I DON'T WANT TO EVER DEAL WITH AIRTEL AGAIN AND WILL ENSURE NOBODY FROM MY FRIENDS / FAMILY BUYS AIRTEL, IF POSSIBLE. I WILL ALSO NOT PAY THE LAST BILL AND ANY FUTURE BILLS WHICH YOU WILL KEEP GENERATING IN LINE WITH YOUR AMAZING CUSTOMER SERVICE.

Thanks,

Ranjan

Launch (actually, very soft) of the smalltime gadgeteer helpout !

2011-10-12T18:04:00.002+05:30

Heylo :),

First up, a bit of feel-good on being able to post so soon after my last post, *sigh* my average posting time had ballooned to months if not years - but the important thing is there is improvement, yesh !

Coming back to the topicz, as probably some of you would know, I am a die-hard (and boley toh die, die hard) gadget aficionado with the bug having bitten me ever since I can remember which is a longg time when you are 30 years old :). But, instead of spending money hither and thither, I prefer the Value-for-money mode, each of my gadgets (to my mind, IMHO :)) is a deeply researched purchase, though very few make sense to normal people, like my wife :) ! Just to list the gadgets I have had the privilege of owning since time broke this head are:

1. Windows PCs and laptops (they are gadgets awwright !!) , right up from the old '98 to the new -1 Windows 7 :) !
2. Linux laptop (heh ! just once and thankfully never again :))
3. Motorola E1000 (My 1st phone wayyy back in 2005 when I finally bought a mobile in London)
4. Motorola E398 (and it got stolen :()
5. Motorola RAZR L7 (you could see I was sold on Motorola, if only they had not screwed up post the RAZR show !)
6. Sony Ericsson W300i (you just had to love the fold design !!)
7. Blackberry 7100v (the set was white though :))
8. Blackberry curve 8310 *IronMan Red* (and this one also got lost in a Mumbai taxi)
9. Blackberry *2nd hand* waiting-for-a-new-phone 8310
10. Samsung Corby Pro B5310 (the worst disastrous purchase decision I ever made - guess this was the time touch-and-type bug bit me - pitiful Samsung Touchwiz software I tell ya !! - read here !)
11. Blackberry Torch 9800 (and there was light again ! bought at 24k from US and sold at 16k in India !)
12. iPad 1 16 GB 3G
13. A couple of wife's Blackberry Pearls and Bold 3 9780 :)
14. Samsung Galaxy Pro (and the addiction with Android begins !)
15. Nook Color hacktivated with Cyanogenmod 7 (thanks guys !!) to run Android Gingerbread 2.3.7
16. Tester for Nokia E6 (already running it for the 2nd week !)

So, 16 gadgets and a few more later, I have pretty much tasted most mobile (atleast the important ones !) and computer (Again, the most important one :)) operating systems and most importantly, understand them. But, as I see around, there are folks who keep struggling with small techie things and either give up or make a mis-infomed choice (like buying the BB Playbook or the newly 9900 - seriously !!). Ideally, there should be helplines which help out them folks, but unfortunately the world doesn't work the Meluha way (thanks to Amish Tripathi for that one :)) !!

Moreover, whenever I have helped somebody in "techie need" and it has ended well, I have always felt fab (who doesn't after a bit of social work gone well !).

And hence, here is the pitch - if you have any gadget query (have to buy a new phone, problem with messaging, speaker phone not working etc.) - post it in comments and I promise, I will get back to you as soon as I can !!

And yes, its free :), thankfully my consulting job pays more than enough for me to live on ! A Thank you though is always welcome and so is a bit of patience if my response is delayed due to my other commitments !!

Hope to help out some of you out there !!

Thanks,
Ranjan

So, hope

My 1st mobile "tester" review :) - the Nokia E6 "Touch and Type" !

2011-10-05T10:25:00.003+05:30

And so it happened ! After years of multitudes of closet prayers and trying to impress whoever and whatever with my techno-laden boring tweets and status updates, by the will of god - it happened ! With an amazing set of fortuitous circumstances (and yeah, they keep happening to me, good or bad !) somebody gave me the chance to review the Nokia E6, with the handset being mine to play with for a month or so ! Unfortunately I can't tag my benefactor due to confidentiality reasons - but yeah many thanks to you !

Also, please don't point out fingers at this being an "already launched and dissected" handset and all that, afterall der se aaye, par finally aaye toh sahi !

Anyways, now getting back to my "official" review, when I had bought my current handset, the Samsung Galaxy Pro, I had duly considered Nokia E6 as an alternative, but due to the significant weight difference (105 g Galaxy Pro vs 134 g E6) - I bought the Pro ! Does that mean, I am regretting now, read on to find out !

Overall Impression (Heh ! Trying to ape the master techno writers !)

The E6 follows in the footsteps of its esteemed predecessors E71 and E72 (remember how almost every corporate honcho had one of these in the pre-touch OS days !) with a white silver body and a fairly large bezel at the bottom (recommend to take that out and increase screen size instead !!). The build is typical Nokia-ish, sturdy as hell, polished and "appearance of quality". Infact, Nokia have always priced their devices on a Cost+ basis in line with their Finnish socialism :), and hence they have always seemed to be on the pricier side in India because they generally use high-end components but the Indian consumer couldn't care less, no !

The touchscreen is capacitive (Finally Nokia gave up on the resistive ones, bleh !) and highly responsive, infact I reckon its as good as iPhone's, trust me !

On the OS side, funnily enough, the Anna OS (latest and greatest Symbian Belle minus 1) feels exactly like Windows (though its based on Linux) - an OS deep integrated with the Hardware unlike the Android implementations ! And hence, the 680 Mhz CPU doesn't feel itchy at all, everything is slick and fine. But, yeah that doesn't take away the bane of the Symbian OS, not enough Apps !! But, if Nokia does a similar deep OS-hardware integration with Windows Phone 7, they sure have a winner on their hands with the ecosystem a given !!

The Plus"es" (And yeah, there are many !!)

1. Amazing keyboard, better than any in the business, Blackberry included - its a delight to type and keep typing :)

2. Great touchscreen

3. Very sturdily built and high-quality components - Gorilla glass, high-res screen, 8MP camera !, high-quality bluetooth (the song volume almost doubled on this one compared to Samsung's Galaxy Pro), very good speaker and audio quality!

4. Amazing maps implementation with fabulous GPS - haven't got a better position lock ever before! With their offline maps feature, it is a complete killer - you can download maps for any part of the world and you don't need any data connection to navigate - what ossumness, Google - hear, hear !

5. Great Battery life, I lasted a day and more using the same stuff which lasted me ~8-10 hours on Android !

6. Inbuilt 8 GB memory, who needs an SD card

7. If the world were simpler (without the Apps ecosystem I mean :)), an OS worth competing with iOS - beautifully integrated with the system, zippy and smooth - does all the Vanilla phone functions very well - calling, SMS, Mail, Internet, MP3, Radio, Camera, Bluetooth etc. !!!

8. Very good Multitasking implementation

9. Many many shortcut keys

10. Dedicated call, end and scroller keys - comes handy even with touchscreens !

11. The price - At 16k, if you are a vanilla user, this is pretty much a rockstar steal !

12. Wifi Hotspot feature, still missing from BB and iOS - yeah really !

And now the bad part :)

Has to start with the OS right :) - and yes, there is a long list !

1. SNS integration with Contacts - today even the Chinees OSes allow people to sync FB / Twitter / LinkedIn to Contacts and Nokia doesn't - how does that read ?? And please, "matching" contacts one-by-one to FB profiles is not syncing !!

2. Missing multiple folder sync in Email app, seriously needed for us Corporate types !

3. Missing apps namely Google Reader (Nokia, look past your rivalry boss, no point trying to fight what is already ossum, just go with it ! *Update* Nokia is developing something called the Reader, lets see), password storage app (cloud syncable), good system monitor widget etc. !

4. Did not try any games, but I guess, there aren't many, are there :) ?

5. Missing cloud sync for "Notes" - again very critical for Corporate types - will be cool if you could simply sync it to Dropbox - then you can have true cloud implementation !

6. Poor notifications system - I guess Belle has improved in this regard, bring it on Anna !

7. Just simplying the OS and setup wizard - e.g. instead of having "Dual mode" under networks - you could call it 3G & 2G - simple things, but makes a big difference to non-geek user experience

8. Large empty bezel at the bottom - could have removed that and increased the screen size instead

9. The Weight - very heavy at 134 gms, would have been a fab phone if it was just 10-15 gms lighter !

Overall verdict:

For a non-gaming esp. high keyboard user: 7 / 10 (for gaming types, don't even think about it !), loses a couple of points for the sheer weight !

And yes, it is much better than the comparable Blackberry 9900 touch and type which retails at 32k, I am not sure what dope are they smoking though ! Buy this one anyday over that overpriced piece of slab !

So, then take care and I hope for my sake that I write sooner again than later !! Adios, all Amigoz !

*Update* Discovered something called the Nokia Beta Labs which regularly creates new software for Symbian OS (have to marvel at the continued commitment of Nokia for an OS which has been universally panned dead, hats off really - learn Samsuck, learn something !!) - got some of my demand met above through the Beta Labs Apps !

The Wallet Chor and the security camera (No love, no sex, lots of Dhoka and a bit of Reality TV !)

2011-03-16T11:43:00.000+05:30

And so they say, every cloud has a silver lining, but its more like what you get out of a bad situation - kinda like Indian fielding from the SA defeat, but more on that later :).

Getting back, I and wife dearest were shopping at the Reliance HyperMart in Sec-29, Gurgaon (you know, the one near Bikanerwala types) and as it happened, after the shopping, we queued up to the customer service desk for some stuff. After spending like 10-15 mins there, we left for a friend's daughter's budday party (Yes ! I am old :-)) at Bikanerwala. And as most things Ranjan go, 30 mins into the party it hit me that I did not have my wallet on me. A frantic search ensued, my friends looking inside Bikanerwala, me looking on the way from Reliance to Bikanerwala (they are like 2 mins apart) and Tanya (the wife) rushing off to Reliance. After no luck at Bikanerwala / the way, I trudged off to Reliance to discover Tanya do what she does best - enterprise :), she was in the Security Monitor room trying to get our footage from before. After a painstaking half-an-hour, we found ourselves on the camera and it was like time-travel cum reality TV !! And after another 20 mins, there it was - clumsy me leaving the wallet on the customer service desk and a typical Gurgaon Samaritan pushing off with it - look for yourself in the video below :).

So, there is the silver lining - I lost almost 3-4k in cash and all my cards (on which I spent some 2 hours blocking and re-getting) but I had myself on camera unknowingly - trust me, a once in a lifetime experience, and the amazing thing was the camera was almost too accurately positioned to capture it! The first time Tanya and I saw the "Act" happening, we almost hyperventilated - I guess its about getting closure and what better than seeing it live !

Well, and yes, if you can identify the culprits, let me know - I will like to sock them good for sure !

Hope you enjoy this :).

Ranjan

Whatz Next for The Google ?

2010-12-06T12:24:00.000+05:30

Today got a call from a friend who has got this interview for a Product Manager position at Google and wanted to discuss a set of questions that Google guys had given him in advance to ponder and think about. The questions were the run-of-the-mill kinda around competitive strategy, improvements etc. but one theme stood out - What is next for Google ? How are we gotta stay big and stay the best ?

So, I got into this long discussion with my friend and came up with a few ideas off-the-cuff. And, as somebody who really respects and looks up to Google (most times for sure :-), except when they are not trying to copy / play catch-up), I thought I should pen these down and who knows, they might listen, copyright free :-).

What is Google's biggest problem, really ? According to me, it is the fact that their core product - the supremo search engine (>80% of their revenues) doesn't have a 'customer lock-in', the day some Zuckerberg invents a better algorithm, Google is dead - unlike Apple and Microsoft, courtesy their iOS and Windows ecosystem. To stay relevant with its current biz model, Google has to constantly stay at the top of search innovation - and law of sizes say that once a company / product grows large, it competes by volumes and 'being stable' rather than being an innovator - in my experience their have been only a few exceptions, not sure if Google can be one, given the imperatives from its recent reversals in the Social networking and OS space.

So, what are the opportunities for Google ? Here's my take:

1) Looking at the online space,

I think Gmail is the market leader today but it still has some catching up to do, it has only 200 mn subs compared to 500 mn Facebookers. Mebbe, its time they started focussing on Enterprise seriously and become the RIM of Enterprise mail. Just look at what the Bharti-IBM deal did for IT outsourcing, Google gets one big firm to outsource its mail, they are a done deal.
In the social networking space, first up, Google should simply kill Orkut, its no point fighting Facebook, they are to Socializing what Google is to search, period. The opportunity really lies in creating a simple, secure and reliable marketplace which allows everyday shoppers to bring their physical shopping experience online and get hooked due to the obvious convenience angle. Today, atleast on India, online shopping, mainly Ebay :P is limited to WYSIWYG goods like Books, branded electronics, tickets but verry few (me being one of them) ever buy experiential goods like Clothes, food items et al. How can Google intervene in this space - how can it create a strong offline experience to support the online structure (small test kiosks ? tie-ups with existing retail players ?); how can it use its email network to create credibility around products (say I want to buy a phone - if I can clarify my doubts about the phone with my friends - I am more likely to buy it no ?)

2) Is there an opportunity for Google in the OS space through Chrome? I would think so, especially if it can create a wholesome ecosystem experience around the PC, Mobile, tablet and other future devices :-) - something which Microsoft summarily failed at (Its amazing na, how a market leader by miles can even miss a few tricks !). Its very important that Google marries Chrome with Android and ensures a seamless user experience across its devices - come to think of it, Google Voice can be a key hinge of this ecosystem. But, Google shouldn't try to create a "closed" loop system, it has to realize other OSes will continue to thrive and it will be useful to support the other OSes rather than let 3rd party vendors do a sub-optimal job.

3) In the physical space, I think Google needs to worry about creating a lock-in product, even go macro and think about evolving into a Telecommunications giant (feasible ? I dunno) but a "branded" mobile here and a netbook there aren't going to do - you need to get atleast one physical niche product right.

Finally :), a bit of selfish requests, but here are a few changes I would love to see in the Google space:

1) Create feasible Mobile Apps for all their sites across all Operating systems - currently Blogger and Reader are glaring misses on both Blackberry and iOS platforms. It is kind of frustrating to buy third-party apps to do what should come naturally in-built into the system.

2) Currently in Google Reader, it will be kool to have a Google Alert kinda feature which emails selected RSS feeds as they are updated - Push is the way to go, aint it :-) ?

With that, I rest my case !

Have fun !

Ranjan

And the iPad (and Blackberry Torch 9800) hits you :-)

2010-11-22T01:30:00.003+05:30

**EDIT**: This post started off as an only-iPad post but got delayed by 2 months ! And hence, including my newest acquisition as well - the Blackberry Torch 9800 (hope I post it soon :P) !

So, here I am hit by the iPadic (will that be a word anytime soon, no :-) ?) bug, typing another one of those fanboy posts - but sometimes somethings truly leave us speechless and ipad does that to you,but more on that later. lets start with how I got to own one :) and then we can do some more of my fanboyism :).

So, as it happened I had wanted to own a touchscreen gadget like ever and my 1st true tryst came with the evil Corby Pro, more of that here. After thankfully transiting out of that device (thanks biwi !), I lost my BB 8310 red curve :) on a Mumbai taxi and was presented with an ossum opportunity to buy another gadget and satisfy my touchscreeny cravings.

Thanks to my ossum boss, Kanishka, I had 1st hand experience of iPad both of the wifi-only and wifi+3G varieties. So my 'new gadget' choices boiled down to either buying a new kool phone (Android or iPhone 4) or buy an ipad + a downmarket 2nd hand BB 8310 curve for 2k (which I could perk up with my self-devised theme - here). And like a seasoned consultant, I chose the iPadic option, courtesy following:

I use a smartphone mostly for chatting and checking the web intermittently, which I can very well do on the downmarket BB as well.
But with an iPad I could do a lot more, read books, replace a laptop partially and even try to play games (I pretty much suck at all games :(), and consume media much, much better.
Get instant access to 3G with a MTNL sim which will be a long wait if I were to buy a phone (don't wanna change my Vodafone num, right :)).

So, with a bit of anxiety and blessings of biwi dearest (What would I do without you :) ?), my pals Sahni and Taru practically ordered and got the iPad 16 GB Wifi + 3G delivered from US on Jul 3rd. That said, it has been approximately two weeks since this acquisition and my heart has been a contented place. While the tablet war is well and truly on, currently (and after spending 32k you might consider me a tad biased types :P) iPad looks by-and-far unbeatable and here are my top reasons for loving it:

1. The incredibly well-developed OS - while many consider iPad a bigger iPhone, but nobody else (including Android / Microsoft) has been able to adapt their small-screen versions to a large-screen so beautifully and effectively, you really do not care if this is a big iPhone, all that matters is its an iPad :-).

2. The best-in-industry touch screen, nothing to say which hasn't been already said !

3. The amazing iTunes store ecosystem – so many apps to choose from, so many games to play and they just keep coming.

4. An amazing ebook reader – I have seen a lot of junta criticizing the outdoor performance but thankfully, I haven’t had to contend with those conditions – I have been reading extensively and with tons of books to purchase from the Amazon and Barnes & Noble ebook stores, I ain't gonna run out of them anytime soon !

5. And even more important than 4 above, an amazing "Comics reader" :P, I have retrograded a bit back in my childhood, jumping between Batman, Superman, Phantom, JLA etc. etc. (yeah, Dhruv, Nagraj et al are next :P).

6. The most powerful gaming platform yet (and now officially seconded by the "id software" guys who made Quake and Doom) – one of my wife's biggest pastimes and slowly becoming mine J. And as I said on 3, the games in the iStore are as myriad as they come and you are sure to find atleast a dozen to suit your tastes. And what is wonderful is, they are creating a Xbox live kinda online interface where you can play kool, simple evergreeners like Scrabble (and hopefully CATAN soon !) online with junta from all over the world (I am currently playing 5 games with 5 different peepz and luckily winning in all of them :P).

7. The coolest media consumption device around, you feel like reading more and more (and hey, it is a distraction, but who minds J ?) and yeah, fbooking, tweeting and chatting is grr8 as well !

8. And its not all play only, but a bit of work as well. With the official Apple Office apps and BCG e-mail / calendar / notes integration, my actual laptop usage (not that I mind with my laptop becoming almost iPadish with my firm giving me a Thinkpad X201 !) has gone down significantly – I do all team work reviews and any work on the flight exclusively on the iPad !

9. And to round off there are the small things which I like – the instant switching on (absolute 0-sec delay), 10 hour battery life, "jailbreak" :P, continuous 3G connectivity outside home through MTNL, iPod, ease-to-handle etc.

Not that iPad is without its flaws – missing cameras (esp. for video-chatters, not for me specifically), no USB drive / support for apps and no plug-and-play support for normal USB printers – but looks like they are gonna address it in iPad 2.0 coming in Jun 2011 (plan is to get wifey the new one J, its the ecosystem man !). So, if you are looking for a tablet now, close your eyes and buy this one – no regrets !

And now, onto my 2nd new acquisition – the Blackberry Torch 9800. Though my 2^nd hand Blackberry 8310 was doing just fine, what with my self-designed fanboy theme, it was just aged, with only a super-limited 64 MB RAM and no more Blackberry love coming its way (stuck on OS 4.7 while the world was moving to OS 6.0), and the nerdie in me was straining its leashes ! With the new Torch around, it was as close as it got to my dreamphone a touch-screen with a BB qwerty keyboard (nobody beats them in this, not even close !) and with a little eBaying and lot of cajoling on the expenses front with the wife, I finally got the Torch for 24k and for now, my gadgetry is replete and complete J. As for my quick impressions, here they are:

1) Tad on the heavier side, it still is the slickest touchscreen slider on market !

2) The touchscreen is ~8/10 compared to an iOS device and I can live with that, especially because the physical keyboard is bloody good, the best BB ever !

3) The highly-toted OS 6.0 is WIP still but they are improving – I only hope they don't get confused like the Nokia Symbian – MeeGo story with their whole QNX foray with the Playbook *crosses his fingers* !

4) Spec-wise this is the best BB around with 512 MB of RAM (a 8X jump for me) and a very good 5MP camera – which has made a pic-averse guy like me take and tweet pics !

5) Finally a Blackberry browser does what it is supposed to do, browse the web J.

And hey – they called it Torch because one of the key components - the new webkit browser comes from Torch Mobile, a company RIM acquired !

So happy to get over with this nerdy post – will be back with something better next !

Ranjan

App review: Not the ubiquitious iPad, but more like my humble Blackberry curve 8310 :-)

2010-07-01T23:42:00.001+05:30

Heh,

I am getting my iPad delivered soon (more about that later) - so before I get all taken by that ossum device, I wanted to take a minute to list down some of the apps I have got on my BB curve 8310, somehow making my lot with the woefully small 64 MB ROM (BB doesnt allow you to install apps on the memory card - some security crap - and you know everything is fair when it comes to security :P, especially when you have the Americans in picture).

Anyways, here are the apps which keep me going currently (please let me know if you know more cooler ones):

1) Latest firmware: If you are the types who has just bought a curve and never fiddled around with it, sooner or later BB is gonna pull the plug on its 83xx range what with the recent launch of low-end 8910 and impending launch of 9300 - and hence get the latest firmware v4.5.0.302. It fixes a lot of bugs and gives you speed, which I think all of can do with pretty well ! And while we are at firmware, please do yourself a favor and change the Options -> Advanced Options -> Browser -> Default Browser Configuration to "Internet Browser" from the default "Blackberry Browser", or else most likely the ossum BES admin of your firm would have set the Blackberry Browser's cache limit and you will keep getting errors and blaming poor BB for it (its not that bad afterall :P).

2) Blackberry Appworld: Before one installs anything, it is pertinent to get Blackberry's iStore, the Appworld ! They are onto something here, hope they keep their act together. Get it for free, obviously :).

2) Google maps: Since you already own a GPS-ed device, please do yourself justice and get Google maps (latest version please ! - just browse Google from your phone and choose the maps tab) - it was fantastic and now with the added "layers" feature - it is mindbogglingly Ironman-ish, heh :P. And, for the geographically challenged brethren out there, a must have, you will never have to embarrassingly ask for directions again (mostly, but in India you never know !).

3) Blackberry messenger v5.0: This is a free upgrade to the ever faithful messenger and its ossum, go grab it - you will find the free upgrade icon already on your phone. Or get it here.

4) Whatsapp messenger: For the 1st time, some brainiac has invested time in making a push messenger across smartphone platforms - its like BB Messenger for iPhones and Blackberries (they had Symbian (Nokia) plans - but with MeeGo as the new White Knight OS for Nokia Smartphones, I guess they are better off looking at Android) - so if you have frnds on iPhone, makes it worth the 100 bucks you will spend on it. 30-day free trial available here. The free Kik messenger also looks promising, but its restricted to US and Canada - can you believe that, really ! ?

5) Opera Mini v5: Now, this freebie only comes next to Google maps, but only just next. Everything about it is beautiful and apparently it minimizes data usage, talk about quality with economy. Get it here :)

6) Google Talk: Again, nothing to say which has already been not said - just get it. Get it here.

7) Viigo India RSS reader: Probably the best free RSS reader on the curve. Try it here.

8) Ubertwitter: In my view, the best-supported and free twitter client for blackberry (even better than the original). Even Shashi Tharoor and Sachin Tendulkar use this, sorry that doesnt make it any more useful, does it :) ? Try it here.

9) Chronograph: My most loyal stopwatch over my BB years. OTA @here.

10) Beam file explorer: Creates a windows explorer for your BB on-device and SD card memory for free ! Here.

11) Facebook for Blackberry: Though the actual interface continues to be yawn-inducing, it converts your facebook updates into push messages, which is always pretty ossum. Free and here.

12) SMSContact and "Forward, Reply & Edit": The fellows at Bberryapp have finally solved two of BB's eternal unsmart mysteries for free - 1) Why could you not forward contacts as SMS like Nokia et al ? Here. 2) Why could you not "edit" and forward, reply to emails ? Solved again, here.

13) berrysnooper: Probably not the best, but after I lost my last 8310 curve, I got a bit hasty and installed this one as a jiffy. This one tracks your phone and saves you once it gets lost. Let me know if you find something better for ~500 INR, here.

14) Mobipocketreader: One of the better e-book reading clients - can also import non-copyrighted .pdfs (you get the hang, dont you :) ?). Also, syncs easily between the PC and Blackberry. Here.

15) Add to Contact: Another one of BB's eternal mysteries solved. Add contacts to phonebook directly from phonelogs / emails - even to existing contacts, no copy-paste business anymore, sir. It will set you back by 150 rs., but I guess its worth it. Trial available here.

16) LastPass: Are you one of those clumsy, forgetful types (aka me) who struggle everyday juggling online passwords, credit card nos. etc.? If yes, this one is a must have for you. Sets you back by 50 bucks / month - but you get OTA sync between mobile, PC, iPad etc. etc. Totally spot-on !

17) Free games: Though I am not much of a gamer, and that too on the curve :), I have found two free ones which are pretty addictive. Ka-Glom, an enhanced Tetris game and Blocked Traffic, a kool puzzle game (on the lines of the famous Unblock me on iPhone).

18) And last, but not the least - my first Blackberry theme - the Norcross, read about it and download here. I waited till the end to write about it, so chalta hai na yaar :). And it has to be free, so it is :P.

Let me know what apps do you use ?

Tadaa,

Ranjan

10 notes about Malaysia :)

2010-06-28T17:20:00.000+05:30

So, as it happened BCG deemed good to send me on a 2-day training to Kuala Lumpur (Hey ! I am a okay enough employee, I guess :-)) and as is the norm, Tanya and I converted it into a weekend trip with 2 days in Langkawi and she doing the shopping on the training days in KL (so tough to plan, nahin :) ?). And as with all things Ranjan, this also deserved to be blogged and here I am with the 10-pointer (seems like the iPad - iPhone analogy of consulting's 3-pointers :-)):

1. Langkawi is Goa on steroids minus the hullabaloo :), cleaner, lusher surroundings equipped with much better infrastructure. And if you are into sea-food, it doesn't get better than this !

2. In all my times abroad, I found Malaysia as the most liveable city - I actually will proactively try to get a 6-month types assignment there, lets see !

3. It being a Islamic city is very high on infrastructure, systems and discipline - keeps the city nice, clean and beautiful.

4. But, despite being Islamic, it is still very open with all possible westernized accoutrements possible and allowed (kind of Turkey, but I guess, even better :)).

5. The standard of living is quite high - the tourists in Malaysia were even-stevens between foreigners and natives - a surefire indicator of prosperity.

6. Electronics, clothes et al are costlier than India - but cosmetics are almost 1/4th the price - way to go, biwi :-).

7. They call a door "Pintu" in Malaya - I could not politely inquire what did Pappu mean :) ?

8. Malaysians are inherently polite people, but some of their expressions (like Okay, Okay with both palms held outwards) might appear rude to Indians, but they don't mean it :-).

9. We went to this place in Langkawi where the new "Don"'s end scene (the one with Shahrukh latkofying from the bridge) was shot - the air there is sharp and fast - fantastic place !

10. And here is the fun fact - AirAsia is offering DEL - KL return fare at ~8k / person starting Sep 1st. Its a wonderful opportunity to go and have fun :-). Try it !

Ranjan

My 1stest Blackberry theme :)

2010-06-25T14:44:00.008+05:30

I used to love coding and the gizzinks back when I used to pretend that I wanted to be an engineer at IIT Kharagpur (my special proclivity was for obfuscating codes - abracadabra and woom ! the output is there :P - check out The International Obfuscated C Code Contest and then you will know what me is talkin about :)). I loved searching 800 lines of code for that one elusive bug which kept the whole show from getting on !

But since, time immemorial, what man proposes, god obviously disposes :). And so here I am not having written / seen a code (except a few VB macros - MS Excel, right ! - here and there) for the past like 6-7 years. But, you can't really ever take the yearning out. So, as it happened, I decided to buy an iPad over the blazingly and hauntingly beautiful iPhone 4 (more on that next time around), I in the same vein decided to continue with my old but ultra-efficient Blackberry Curve 8310 till I really needed to change it (Hey, biwi - you happy now :) ? My gadget-happy ways are really getting on her nerves these days, I tell you !). And, thence lies the rub.

I was quiet taken by the iPhone 4 though and wanted somehow to get a good iPhonic theme on my BB - have been a wannabe all my life, heh ! So, I googled around and found 2-3 themes but they did not look cool enough (and coolth is obviously personal, right :) ?). So, using Blackberry's ossum Theme Studio, I set forth to creating a theme of my own - and here I am, having done it and loving it :-). I obviously think its beautiful, take a look for yourself below [Home, Menu and Lock Screens]!

Yeah alright, its a bit of fanboy stuff - a cross-over between iPhone and Bold themes [iPhone icons transform into Bold icons once you select them] and the Dark Knight Lock Screen had to be there, no :) ?

Further, I have customized the battery and the network signal indicators a bit - a bit of this and that. And that's why I call it the Norcross theme, like whatever ! And if you like it, drop a comment, download it from the links here - 1. .cod file 2. .alx file and install it from the Blackberry Desktop Manager (Not that it matters but it will work for all 83xx models - 8300, 8310, 8320 and 8330). Best of luck with that !

Till then,

Adios from Kant :-)

10 home-truths about consulting !

2010-06-02T12:03:00.005+05:30

Hey :) !

Its another one of those slow days and at random (nowadays my boss also seems to be falling for randomicity or "The Paradox of Choice" as pundits call it), my brain set it upon writing some truths about the consulting lifestyle - am sure, all of this has been said before and all that, but hey, I have been working for BCG for 4 years now - cut me some slack, alrite ! So, here goes !

1. Over time, with the overload of travelling, you will pare your life down to one-and-a-half cabin bags :) (1 bag if you are not a gym person - shoes, you know !). Also, you will evolve your tastes a la Up in the Air - side-rollers, mini-usb players, PSPs and even extension chords for stupid hotel rooms which don't have nicely-positioned plug-points :-).

2. You will have to become very stoic - facing exciting, troubling, challenging, belief-shattering and calm, slow, 9AM moving to 5PM days with the same elan as ever - there is no pace - change only happens for more change later :). My thing is to have a ready reckoner of outstanding items (multiple yaar - Bills to pay, gadgets / softwares to get for free, personal mails etc. and etc.) - always helpful to keep you busy !

3. You will learn maximizing "life outside of work" at a moment's notice - you can' t plan really (even your wedding :P) - you have to just go impromptu and be always ready for a cancellation in the offing - and then, for your sake, stay unfazed. Develop tons of hobbies - Reading, Writing, gabbing (trust me, after a week of speaking at client sites, it becomes hard to not stay silent over the weekend !), gaming (Cricket, AoE 2 (I hate AoM etc.), Catan, Scrabble) etc. and yes socializing (dinners - which you will hate after all the junk food, dancing - which you might and should love, irrespective of god-gifted absymal talents :P) !

4. Work-life balance can become a convoluted conundrum (exactly how the aforementioned words sound :-)), unless resolved "with a focussed approach" :P. Since, there are no fixed work hours (which means all your waking and at times, sleeping hours are up for grabs - esp. at junior levels) - it is imperative you learn to wind down with no lead time - else your family, social and all other cats' lives can go for a toss !

5. Here, the "past track-record" is purely just that, past track-record. Everytime you start work with a new client and a new team, you have to prove yourself all over again, each time and everytime. Past accolades are good to have, people will fight for you to get staffed on their teams, but the downtime is really next to nil. And trust me, coming from Indian classrooms where "past history" is a marker, it can be a real sea-change in the attitude towards life !

6. Consulting is a game based on pure reputation - we manufacture no product, we just believe our logic, analytics and other such intangibles is the edge and hence, this means pure pressure in terms of managing clients and output. Hence, nobody "cedes" space - you have to create your own space and keep demanding it - else you will find your toes always under somebody else's !

7. Even though you can't see it at times, you have to believe in the direction of the project and the value it adds to the client. The problem is the project is sold by somebody else and your output is just a small piece in the overall jigsaw. You can't afford to get cynical - given the amount of effort you put in and the crunch involved.

8. Food. In one word, you will eat tons of junk and "adjusted foods" as you juggle client sites and their menus - The good, The bad and The ugly. And sooner, very soon, you will pine for "ghar ka khana", trust me.com !

9. Balance between "true" spending power and firm-enabled one :). Given the amount of money the firm is willing to spend on your stay, food and conveyance (which you incidentally pay from your credit card and then get reimbursed) - the line between your actual spending budget and the amount you spend starts blurring - and if one doesn't judge it well - as any fin guy will tell you, severe budget deficit can result :), beware ! And, *wink* - you also need to keep your feet grounded, no :) ?

10. And yes, best of luck with the dating scene, trust me, you will need all of it :).

Ranjan

Should you buy the Samsung Corby Pro B5310 aka is it worth it :) ?

2010-03-15T20:22:00.006+05:30

*Edited to add later*: As a time-saver, if you are considering Corby Pro, skip it and buy the newly launched, much more ossum Nokia C6. Samsung sucks, period :).

I am known to be a very passionate person - to the extent that sometimes I even get "impetuous" in my job appraisals :), and I bring the same passion to my gadgets. It has been a month since my Blackberry curve 8310 lost out to the touchscreen value-for-money Corby Pro. In the interim, I have gone all out experimenting with my Corby - Firmware, Apps et al. And since when I was purchasing the B5310, there was no site which told me actually how it is (the reviews are all standard-issue junk, please google and you will know) - I decided to put down an actual user review for all the hopefuls :) [Disclaimer : It has no details you will find on other sites anyways, it is an actual user experience :)].

What I hate (lets get this out of the way, heh !):

1) No "cut / copy and paste" feature for text / numbers - Samsung guys, seriously - its shocking - and they say "I text" in the advertisements

2) Even though it sports a resistive touchscreen (it only functions when you actually "press"), the screen gets locked automatically when you make calls - it is painful to unlock and select other options like conference call etc. - they should have made it optional, not heaped on the customer !

3) "Memo" size limited to 100 characters and further no. of notes limited to 100 characters - haha, they could have simply skipped it !

4) Calendar limited to 200 entries - obv. the Samsung engineers work in silos :)

5) Pressing the "send" button doesn't take you automatically to "phone calls" screen - yeh toh 1200 rs. waale mobile mein bhi hota hai yaar !!

6) The GPS sucks - best fix is within 100 meters, and they tom-tom it as an Assisted GPS phone, A-GPS my ass !

7) No option to move / create shortcuts / icons for one's apps, utilities on the menu screen !!7

8) No option to auto-rotate the screen even when the slider is closed (and thence a missing on-screen qwerty keyboard).

9) No option to automatically force user-installed apps to auto-rotate - the java code has to be manipulated - do the engineers make the fone for themselves only ?

10) Very poor online apps store - hey, it is downright non-existent :)

11) The advertised "socializing apps" are way slower than others available on internet / mobile avatars (m.facebook.com / m.twitter.com etc.)

12) There is no way to use the front camera - at best you can use it as a mirror, but it can only be used for video calling !!

13) Inability to delete SMS by dates (or auto-deletion of messages / mails before a certain date)

14) No search function - for either numbers / messages etc. - Once you forget it, you lose it !!!

15) Even though you have a voice recorder, you can't record your calls :).

16) And yes, the delivery reports are "separate messages" - no auto-delete etc., smartphone, my ass :-).

Heh, if that discourages you - don't buy it or better take mine for half the price :) !

And, now moving onto brighter things, tweaks that I have done to Corby which has made life a lot better for now !

1) Auto-rotated all apps through manipulation of the java code.

2) J1ck twitter app - bherry, bherry nice !

3) m.facebook.com - nothing beats it

4) Opera Mini v5.2 - a masterclass in browsers.

5) Activesync with Google Mail, Calendar and contacts (+ syncing Google Mail with Desktop Outlook calendar (via Gmail calendar app) and contacts (Gocontacts sync app)

6) www.upvise.com for keeping notes

7) Cellbox for secret info :P, and what might that be :) ?

Hope this helps guys. Corby Pro is a real value-for-money device, but if you are a gadget purist, the software disappoints you in more, more ways than one - so think b4 you leap - else you will be waiting for the "8-month mobile turnover period" with baited breath to get the next one !

And Hey Samsung Engineers - guys can you step down from your Citadel and help us sufferers out ? Can you ?

Ranjan

Transforming the Corby Pro !

2010-02-20T18:30:00.017+05:30

Hi Guys,

How have ya been ? Sorry for my inordinate slumber yet again :), but in my defence, with the advent of facebook and tweeting.com, Blogger has been made absolutely obsolate. Bemusingly, while Google continues to "pioneer" one hum-drum copycatter after another (The Wave and the Buzz, anyone :) ?), it could have done a lot better by strengthening the already in-play blogger interface, but then is anybody listening ?

But, then, my usual excuse-thyself-from-your-laziness done, let me come back to the eponymous Corby itself ! Actually, the genesis lies in my gadget-fascination and more specifically how "Touch screens" just blow me away (can't stop looking at Adam these days, esp. as I believe that Rajat Sahni, one of my former BCG colleagues and now some Director hot-shot at NotionInk did take my inputs into consideration for the development of the device - hey, that might be a totally personal perspective btw :)) - I was quite simply bored of my Red Blackberry 8310 Curve and pined for a touch-screen phone. But, following were the constraints:

1. I had to look within the Blackberry family as I would lose the ossum "BB messenger" and "auto-push" company mail service if I did otherwise (btw, apparently the BCG US office can access their email over IPhone but we 3rd world Indians are not allowed to do that as a part of Global IT Policy, Global I tell you :)), but the new Blackberry Storm is real shady and fraudy and is a non-starter no-hoper, yeawww !

2. Outside of the BB family, IPhone was totally out of budget for moi, the quintessential low-end gadget skimmer.

And thus the wait continued - me lusting after multiple devices and letting them be, they without me and me without them.

And, suddenly Samsung unleashed the Corby Pro GT - B5310 (also known as Genio Pro in UK) - a touchscreen phone with a physical qwerty-keyboard with GPS (My ossumly dyslexic directional senses need Google Maps inside-out), Wi-fi, FM Radio and everything else for like 11.5k and I was like Wow ! this needs research. I did my research and though a newbie phone, it was distinctly upmarket and looked kind of kool (and the closest touch-screen-cum-qwerty with its features is Nokia N97 Mini at 22k - really, right !). But, as per my Value-for-money Biharidom (btw did you know the Friedman theory of money-spending as per the 2-by-2 below:

Okay, enough digression yet again), I was really not sure about replacing my very-well working BB curve - but thanks to biwi dearest, I went to Alfa Mumbai and purchased it for 11.5k (Btw the Corby is really cracking the scene - they get sold out in 2 days !!). And then, as with all other good things proposed by men and dispersed by gods :), the fairytale went phut. Samsung has used its proprietary Touchwiz / Bada Java interface OS (also found on Samsung Jet S8000) and the OS clearly was rushed to pose as the next i-killer. But, leave the iPhone alone, even such belowmentioned basics were not adhered to:
1) Delivery report is non-integrated into the original SMS - you get a new SMS saying the SMS has been delivered - really, in this age and time ?? (think about me coming down from BB !)
2) You can't cut and paste text from anywhere in the phone - again, really !! ?

3) You can't hide icons / move them out of folders !

4) Transfer outlook contacts / calendar to Corby Pro - the provided sync software seriously is like early Linux (unhelpful and unapologetic) - I found a workaround by downloading the old Samsung PC Suite, seriously - modern and more money down the drain doesn't mean improvement really.

5) The in-phone apps for browsing, Insta-messaging (a must after my serious-loss of and hyped widgets for facebook, twitter etc. SUCK, really suck - but since one was and continues to be a nerd at heart, one can't give up and needed to install 3rd party Java apps to overcome these obvious irritants. After a nerd-geek search, I shortlisted the following for the honor of installing on my Corby Pro:

1) Opera Mini 5: Seriously, use it and you will not believe that it is free !

2) ebuddy Messenger : Essential soul-balm for all IM users.

3) Safe : Password storage - who can remember all those passwords these days ?

4) Twibble : A kool twitter tool for Java phones.

5) Facebooking was best done directly at m.facebook.com

But, as I went to install them I realized the Touchwiz OS really stresses you because:

1) There is no direct way to install .jar / .jad (Java executables) - you have to neccessarily use internet.

2) The display has two modes: Portrait with the keyboard slided in, Landscape with the keyboard out, but Samsung in its infinite wisdom has decided to shield us poor users from customizing 3rd party apps to "auto-rotate" when you open the keyboard - they keep set in the portrait mode !!!

This pissed the programmer inside me no ends and out came my old Java codes which had slept in peace and as I was bound to discover, I was purely outdated. But, still I persisted and for the benefit of all Corby users (and Samsung Jet as well), if you decide to install a third-party app (and let me know what you choose to install :)), do the following:

1) Download the .jar and .jad files (.jad is optional unless otherwise specified)

2) Open the .jar file with Winzip (it is infact an archive :))

3) Extract all the files to a new folder

4) Open the file "Manifest.mf" in "Meta-Inf" folder with notepad

5) Add the following lines at the bottom of the file and save:

X-Pax-Keyboard: Qwerty

X-Pax-TextInput-Hidden: true

MIDlet-Touch-Support: TRUE

MIDlet-ScreenMode: ROTATE

6) Save all files and zip all the files you extracted in step 3 using the Windows "Send to" Zipped folder command (please don't use WinZip). Rename the file to .jar from .zip

7) If a .jad file accompanied the .jar, open it again with notepad (.jad is like a covering envelope for .jar), and make the following changes:

a) In the row titled "MIDlet-Jar-URL:" put the name of the .jar file with the extension.

b) In the row titled "MIDlet-Jar-Size:", put the exact size of the .jar file in KBs (look in Properties of the .jar file)

Save the .jad file and then create a .html file (name it anything). In that file insert one line:

<html><body><a href="_______">install _______</a></body></html>

Replace "_________" with name of the .jad file (or .jar if only .jar is there).

Copy the .jad, .jar and .html to the Pro. Run .html and press on the link to install the App. This will now auto-rotate and respond to touch control - Yo !

##Edit: Some folks have faced issues with the procedure for auto-rotate above, I don't know the real issue but some ossum dood has posted the following fix, please use it - hope it helps !

For anyone getting "invalid content message" when trying to install a rotated app, message #10 from TJJ from this discussion forum may be of help.

This post confirms that only the .jad needs to be modified. Hope this helps - Opera makes this phone much more pleasant to use than the default browser.

##End of Edit##

Now, I am too old to go after Issues 1-5 above but solving 6 alone has made me take total charge of my Corby and like all super gadget-freaks now I feel one with my phone :). Hope somebody solves the rest - I will keep searching :).

Hey, btw, saw "Up in the Air" today - totally showed the Consultant 200-days a year travel-story (well obviously Clooney seems much more glam, but what do you know afterall :) ?) - watch it, you can poke more fun at us consultants then. And yes, if you haven't had your fill, read "Dork" - Sidin has ensured party jokes on Consultants will last for the next decade for sure !

Cya, till the writing bug strikes again. And Hey Google guys, please do something about the Blogger interface, it has started to feel so dated. (#Edit: The Google guys listened and I am soo happy with the new interface, thanks Google, you continue to be ossum !)

Ta, Ranjan :)

10 Things I love about my life !

2010-02-12T08:21:00.003+05:30

Today, another one of my brow-beating projects got over at BCG - and at all such highly-anticipated but anticlimactic moments, it sets you on a quick journey of as Corrs say : What you gained and what you lost ! And, as one always recollects what is "missing" and "what sucks", I wanted to change tracks and think about what I loved most in this breathing, throbbing conundrum called world:

1) My adorable Wife (what with V-day around the corner, I am hoping she reads this :P) - she has brought more to my life than I ever imagined and made me more complete (and fat again !) than I thought possible :P.

2) The fact that in this age of Gen - Z+, I and Tanya continue to be relevant in our parents' lives and vice-versa.

3) A gadget-freak like me was born in this minute-a-techno-change age where I am lucky enough to still have oligopolies around which don't inhibit but spur innovations. Even though I continue to skim the lower spectrum of gadgets in terms of ownership :), just reading and knowing about the breakthroughs and geniuses around makes my life worth living (something on the lines of Uday Chopra in Pyar Imposssibibibile :P - I know, yeaaww ! What analogy, right !)

4) I continue to love and be enthralled by Cricket, meri jaan :) (Even though I am currently benumbed by the thought that whatever India might do in the remaining three days, South Africa is gonna beat them black, blue and then some more blacker and bluer :(().

5) My ability to read in three languages - English, Hindi and Bengali - its a treasure-trove of fiction out there (did you know, Bengali has comparable Sci-fi literature to English, mind-blowing awright !). I wouldn't have known otherwise, but can say without a thought, reading makes life worth living !

6) Even though at times Consulting gets the serrating edge on you, cutting you and your life to shreds, the fact that I have been able to change and support so many impact-laden transformations at National / Intl -level organizations in my 3.5-year stint at BCG.

7) Movies and muzic - enough said :), period !

Now, I am thinking real hard, god - only 7 :(, pretty sad no !

8) My village - thank god for this timeless place in Bihar, which lets me forget that Life can be complicated and draining, reaffirming that life is still worth fighting for !

9) My ability to express myself through my writing (hey - that doesn't mean I believe I write well, don't take my case on that :)), and the joys it manifests me with.

10) Really can't think of any, aww that hurt :(.

Tada !

Ranjan

The broody pathways of wintry dusk

2009-10-19T18:57:00.002+05:30

Hell, I am back :) - and isn't that the tuffest thing to do ! I so envy guys like Dan B, Stephanie M and even our dear domestic Champu, Mr. Bhagat (btw, did you read the 2 States - does it hold up ?). Its so amazing to put-off writing at a moment's notice, distracted by either HBO, Roald Dahl, Work (did you think Consultants ever have it easy.com ?) and even Made of Honor on Star Movies - Gosh, I know right ! I can imagine why Twitter is such a hoot, snapping away 140 chars before the dark clouds of digression can take your attention away. So, after putting away all those alluring diztractions aside, grabbing a cup of my fav self-made elaichi tea (well, yeah ! I can make that one - to-be biwi, please take note :-)), I go for the jugular here (in this case, mine !).

Well, one of my all-time favourites has been the 'dusky dusk walk' - while dawns are a great time to reminiscence, dusks are the best brood-pots ever. When I was like thoda-sa small, I and Hem (a chaddi-buddy of mine) used to wander the ossumly shallow-lit Patna roads talking in our small, our worldly ways, dreaming, debating, agreeing, cribbing, accusing but always effortlessly. Those two hours were like a permanent fixture going through the same paths differently everyday, talking till the cows came home and slept. Shops were never an attraction, those neon-lighted monsters disturbing the tea-trance peace of our small, growing world. And then we grew up and screwed up those walks for my current version of the world - Consultancy and adulthood. But, then days like today come along and give you perspective.

On my 3-day long diwali weekend, I chose to spend Diwali with my prospective family (well yes, work again had a big hand in spoiling my Patna plans, but no regrets there). So, today was a slow lazy day and as 530 PM descended I decided to go on a 1-hour kind of walk, a hark back to lost days of ignorance (Wow :P). And, there I went, thinking the whole Enchilada from A-Z as below in no serialized order:

- Ohh, too many cars passing, can I duck into a lane more quiet and peaceful - its amazing how you try to find your roots everywhere you go !

- Will I be able to blog about the walk ? Will it be kool to read ?

- Who's that person walking with me with a chat-chat sound - too plasticky - who is it ?

- Counting the cars - is that a Jazz -nopes more like a Getz, that's boxy and shiny - a new Ritz, ah-hem, ohh that's a BMW - wow !

- Season of marriages - my old-time blogger frndie Ms. Misra available at The Smiley Blog is also getting married - best wishes to her :)

- What's the twitter equivalent of the dusky walk - well, the T20 version for sure is Treadmilling no :) (Btw, have you watched T&T play - Caribbean swagger revamped, no ?)

- When will my to-be biwi let me buy a Honda Jazz ?

- Why does Chuttiz have to end and work has to start, shucks !

- Is IPOD Nano 16 GB worth its price-tag of 10k especially with the competition around ?

- Should I do some work tonight :P ?

...

Well, while the list could go on - my attention span lowers exponentially. So, till the next inspiration strikes - and yes, do go for the walk.

Take care,

Ranjan

My Girl :)

2009-04-17T06:03:00.004+05:30

Heylo :),

So it has happened, I got engaged today finally, and the fun part was, it is not "arranged" -- as had seemed imminent right through my teens and all that, my girl actually decided to get engaged to me on her own - Wow ! but, we will get back to that in a minute.

Before, I actually post the pictures, let her be A (for Annonymous) for some more time. So, I saw A for the first time on 20th Feb, 2007 when she came to the BCG office after her BCG selection (well, I remember the date because NZ chased 337 against the darned Aussies in the Chappell-Hadlee trophy on the back of a delightful McCullum-86 - the power of Cricket, mate !!) - she looked good as usual, and as per "the guy radar", it was instantly surmised that she must be in the "is-too-good-not-to-have-bf -> so-will-have-bf" category (Ohh, if you were wondering, it is Universal, when we are up, we check out all femmes, and when we sleep, the US guys do the same - Guy radar, as I told ya). Okay, back to the story, thanks to my old flatmate, Mr. P Sinha, I got to meet this lady some more - movies, dinners etc. and I became a friend in a personal capacity. She was going through a relationship and I was on my usual spree of girls - friends, more, less, some more - clueless basically.

Then she had a break-up and surprisingly, I was able to handle that (trust me, it is actually unusual), and her strange combination of wittiness, intelligence (dood - IIT D, BCG - are you still checking :) ?), emotiveness and amazing springiness intrigued me, but still kept me to good friends. We watched movies together (I slept while she hogged popcorn and JAF - Nirula's Jamaica Almond Fudge - lemme tell you, she is excellently picky -- meri total opposite - am stupidly bohemian, stole time out to see each other, somehow managed to evade running into people when we were together (once in CP, it was a total movie scene, we saw this BCG person headed towards us, and just like that I turned and started walking in the opposite direction and A went ahead and said 'Hi' to her - straight out of movies, I tell you !). There were rumors about us, but as I always told A, it will be true only when we believe and admit it, else really, what the heck.

Infact, we even worked on one common case for a particular period, but then we hope we don't get staffed together - she really hates me when I am in the working mode. But, things continued, and we started to grow accustomed to each other, a cynic like me started feeling TLC (tender, love and care for the uninitiated) and she saw hope in me :P. Then ~3-4 months ago, it happened - no proposing (I will like to put on record for posterity) but just as a natural extension of what we felt, we decided to give it a hangy-shoo as it goes. Then came the parents' bit - her parents kinda liked what they saw, but mine were the typical Biharis afraid to go against the caste legacy. Anyhow, a month ago, I got them here and got them to meet A. And they fell in love, absolutely :) - one top of the world feeling, if there was one.

And today here I am, engaged and looking into the most beautiful pair of eyes in the world, who make me go Dhak Dhak, Dhak Dhak, Dhak dhak (okay, will stop the kidding). But, she cares, she loves me and makes me feel absolutely royal. What more could you wish for :) ?

And yes, thanks for the wishes.

Ran actually kan (remember my VDay posts, and you will know, what I mean :)).

And to end with one of my fav endings, lines from the ultra-latest Aloo-Chaat:

Wohi Hasna hasana, kuchh keh ke yun sharmana,

Abb aaj mile ho, toh naa fir jaana ...

Yehi dua, yuhin sada,

Terre liye, Dhadke Jiya :)

...

Dhadke Jiya ...

And so it happened ...

2009-01-20T09:23:00.002+05:30

It was 4 AM or maybe 3 ... Pushpa as always had no clue and probably would never have ever again. As always, since Bubba broke the Rs. 20 watch which had fallen their way in times of blessed fortune from the hands of Guddu Baba, it had always been dark when she had woken up, darker when she had slept and bleaker when she had woken up. Guddu Baba was the kid in her last assignment as a domestic help, who had finally outgrown the 20 bucks-a-watch his mom gifted him when he was five, and somehow it found its way to Pushpa through her gracious employer. Come to think of it, she had always been a domestic help, first in her own house, then in her Grandma's, after her father killed himself in a brawl and finally graduating to the wraith-of-a-breadwinner in her married life. But, now she had "graduated" to being a construction-site worker. Housedust replaced by white, coughing concrete dust, cleaning instructions replaced by constant dhrum-dhrum of the rotating top with that huge wide-open mouth. Though she had been racked with coughs since the past 5 weeks, atleast the pay was better, enough to feed both Bubba and Bani after the wreckage rendered every night by the monster which shared her bed. First came the Rs. 10 booze, then came the red-hot beating and finally the violations in bed, which were the unapologetic substitutes for post-marital sex. And then the dreamless sleep before the darkness woke her up again. Strange, but when things go bump in the night, she felt the most comfortable, atleast her life did not stare her directly in the face, it was dark and hence unseen, like death.

Basic ablutions over, her work sari (or maybe cloth) wrapped around her with semblance ofa a threadbare shawl on top, Pushpa stepped out into the darkness. There was quite a distance to cover, first the sprawling skyscrapers (Who lives there ? Are they gods ? Even Guddu Baba's house was only three-storeyed), then the bushes, then the 5-min stretch of the new-fangled Highway where cars screeched obscenely day-in, day-out -- they made her afraid but getting to the construction site and getting paid was important, maybe the only thing that mattered. And it was January, crackling winter made the foot leaden and progress very slow - hopefully she would not be late today, losing 5 rupees over her 100 rupee-a-day salary was very costly. Tchh, that thorn hurt, but its only a small prick and the Highway is almost there. And so is the fog, today it is intense, a hand cannot find another, hopefully nobody would be driving today. Oh, it is here, the ramparts are here. No horns, no cars, Running and Crossing will be fine. 1st foot, 2nd foot, 3rd ... 4th ... 10th..oh the divider is here. Is anybody standing there, no only a lamppost. Again, no sounds, just the sheesh-shush of the fog. 1st step...2nd...3rd...4th...what's that sound, chreee---cheeeiiiinnnn --- Thump -- the pain ... Ahhhhh...Arrggghhhh, and then the numbness...but no ! Oh my god, something went through the stomach...nothing is visible ... its blinding pain ... much more than the beatings...calmness...Bubba, Bani..how will they live ?...And then darkness, bleakness...Beep, beep, beep, beep .............................

Last week, five vehicles ran over a construction worker on NH-8 Gurgaon in the fog, the body was mangled beyond recognition - it could well be a dog, except for the red and yellow slush spread wide across the highway. I felt numbness inside as I witnessed it on my way to work, beep...beep...beep...............

"W" Mumbai I

2008-12-01T10:02:00.004+05:30

Was I there ? Were you there ? Atleast you must have partaken some parts of those 60 marauding hours when atleast one country(-wo)man had his or her life flashing away in a moment ? Maybe you did, maybe you did not, but the urge to stand up and not keel over must have surged inside you making all other emotions - love, friendship, mush etc. redundant for that singularly important moment when you decided to not give in anymore. My submission to you is remember the indignation, the searing anger not only today, but everyday so that it never happens again, never again.

The Mumbai act was not in itself an earth-shattering event when it comes to body count, atleast 10-100 times that number died in the Kosi floods (I know money-wise weighted average thing, but those were still humans) -- but the staggering bit was the nous of it all, the feel of utter disregard of the Indian nation, utter disregard for more than 5000 years of history, utter disregard for a 60-year old nation which has stood its own quixotic wind-mills and Napoleanic turnstiles. It was like a child-monster breaking down a mansion and worse, getting away with it. You sure ask yourself in the aftermath, what do we do now ? Where do we start rebuilding, and more importantly, how do we start nipping such monstrosities in the bud ? Would it have not paid to have somebody like W. Bush instead of our thinking, considerate PM who would chase after these guys till God gave way ? Afterall, desperate times need desperate measures.

But is it the Beginning of the End ? The beginning of all-encompassing fear, the fear of a dagger at every nook and every other corner, the fear that drives the Big Brother Paranoia, the fear behind 1984 and V for Vendetta. The worst fall-out is not on the Taj or even on the government, its on us, Laxman's Common Men, who will be subjected to abject scrutiny, liable to thrown into ghoulish gaols for no rhyme, forget reasons - even questions like missing pollution checks on your vehicle acquiring ridiculous proportions. My advice, be afraid of what's next, forget the terrorists, its the Big Bro coming over.

Another talk that sickens me is the talk of Unity - the Indian Sovereignity. Seriously, what does Unity mean to you ? Even after 60 years of literacy, we are fighting Religious and Casteist wars, forget Muslims marrying into Hindus, even different castes of Hindus wage wars on inter-caste marriages, and we talk of f*** unity. We read Newspapers, feel appalled by all the terrorism, sound-byte our friends and neighbors and own-caste people, talk about India Undivided and then go back to our lives of creating divisions in every fragment of the society's fabric - Rich and poor, Hindu and Muslim, Kurmi and Bhoomihar, Brahmin and Rajput and Soldier and Terrorist. What will change us ? I am afraid, even if only 2 Indians were left on our sub-continent, even then they would find differences enough to stay divided. If you are reading this, search yourself and think - Can you stop noticing the next Muslim or Hindu you meet, can you believe in the latent principle of Human equality - all of us need to change, its only good, we start ASAP.

And then, there is the pain. The pain of the lady who lost her to-be in a moment of minutes. The pain of not knowing whether the few with whom you really found luv will be there tomorrow again, and not a painful memory till time chooses to heal you, till the memory becomes a blurr.

And, above all, enjoy every moment you live from now on. Every moment is on the verge of ephermerality, here now, gone next. Live it, for it might never happen again.

Hurt deep down,

Ranjan

The Darkness turns Red !

2008-07-20T10:09:00.008+05:30

This post is a week-old in making :), but that's an improvement, won't you say :P ? Well, as consultants are wont to do -- lemme outline the three kool things about this write - up :):

- What does mee think about The Dark Knight ?
- Can Imraan dance Saala ?
- The love affair between a beauty and a beaut beast (now, we are talking, ainn we ?)

Yesterday I went to watch the 1140 PM show of The Dark Knight, the second Nolan-Bale combine after it all began, and expected to be a blockbuster before even the idea germinated. And then, Ledger died. Have you been able to forget Ernis del Mar, his haunting eyes looking at the tucked-in shirt as The Brokeback Mountain closed out ? As has been said numerously, Ledger completely immersed himself into The Joker, and where did he look for inspiration -- Sid Vicious and The Clockwork Orange's Alex -- as he says numerously in the movies -- "I am an agent of Chaos, of anarchy". I hope he gets the first posthomous Oscar, its the least we can do after being privy to his wizardry on-screen. Now, pulling back my Ledger connundrums, The Dark Knight is well, put in one word, maybe the first really-adult comic movie, the first time a comic movie has not tried to pander to its perceived audience, dear old children. TDK is a real movie, something a la Sin City, but much-much more real, grounded and with real characters. You want the caped one to win, but you sit through his eccentricities, his failings and his vulnerability, enjoying him all the more for it, knowing one false step could be his last. Every actor has somehow managed to bring their top form to the table, even Morgan Freeman, who has now become the quintessential Om Puri -- this role doesn't demand anything of me, let me sleepwalk through it !!! In short, if you are above 14, and don't want to miss the bestest comic book movie ever made, buy a ticket now. It's simply too costly to give a miss -- apart from the usual Wow-stunts (which even for all their oft-repeated predictability still manage to elicit whistles and claps from a totally absorbed audience, gizmos etc. etc., this movie simply has too much character and edge-of-the-seat edginess to not be one of the best movies of this decade, if not, all time. In summary, the best thing about this Batman movie is that it isn't a Batman movie, the bat is just a backdrop really, with tipping realism. The Joker really used to be an outlandish clowny villain in the comic-books, but you have to really look at Ledger, the Joker, entering a room full of stylish, noir mafia bosses a la Godfather and Scarface - being ridiculed and then going to make believers out of them, and most importantly us, this is happening right here, right now.

Next comes, the peppy and sensationally-bubbly Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Naa...which I watched with Partha, and in two words, We were blown away. Very simple storyline, no hanky-panky, movie ends at the airport types, but Abbas Tyrewala plays like a virtuoso with the small moments, rigging them all with small joy-bombs, which go off at the touch of a hare, intoxicatingly delightful. Imraan seems like a good kid, but no more, unless and until he proves himself in a couple of gritty ones, really can't comment -- fingers crossed. But, if you thought life was getting too heavy -- doo remember -- Har raat ke baad sawera aata hai (incidentally, I just heard the English translation of this in The Dark Knight -- talk of cogging !!). And how could you not get crude about that ajeeb-sa name, Genalia !!! think about that missing "it" !!!

And finally, finally, the Blockbuster of today's post (we all make-do with our small moments of fame, donn we :)). So, here we go:

The start of the love affair

So, as it goes, my ossum Blackberry 7100v had become quiet old in its tooth, 8 months and counting -- so I set my heart upon getting a Blackberry Curve or the 83xx series. Son of a great money-pincher (or Value-for-money customer for glamour-sakes !), I suffer the same trauma time and again, and so happened with the BB Curve. Now, the Curve comes in 4 shapes:

- 8300 : Basic entry-level curve (can't believe there can be an "entry-level" curve as well :P)
- 8310 : Curve with GPS
- 8320 : Curve with wi-fi but no GPS, apparently, BB has different chips for both functionalities and hence, doesn't want to make it bulky by including both in one set !!!
- 8330 : CDMA curve

Now, in my mind, 8320 was out, because I find the GPRS internet enough, I did not feel that wi-fi would be that kool :).

8310 GPS was on my mind, but I was not sure how helpful it would be given India's "unmapped" situation and then came the money-pinching bite, 17,770 for 8310 vs. ~16k for 8300, so I was okay with having the 8300, as you know.

But, then a friend happened to be in the aircraft between me and another colleague of mine and he said, having GPS might actually be "kool" and as is the usual way of things, my other colleague also sided with him, and that made poor me think, this is a lonely world I tell you. So, I went to ebay.com -- found the red, curvaceous, bootilicious 8310 and the love affair started - who wouldn't love sucha beaut :) ? I found somebody returning from the US, had the 8310 shipped to her house, and it came to me on the same night as I watched Jaane Tu ... (more points to the movie :-)). And, I fell in love, simply. Btw, Am I the only one who thinks this is totally based on Ironman's red-and-gold suit, what with the replete heart-neon and all ?

The beauty bests the beast

I fixed up the 8310 with a lot of apps and a sexy IPhone theme, I know about the apparent tiff between BB and IPhone users, but what the heck, you gotta give credit, where it lies :). But, then the ultimate happened. 8310 arriveth, I downloaded Google maps. Now, Google maps gets your position in 2 ways -- via triangulation of cell towers (accuracy upto 1700 metres) or GPS (accuracy within 3 meters !!) and unfortunately, my device would not budge beyond 1700 meters. Ab toh you peepol know me, I have maxxx keeda of having everything I own in working order, use or no use, or else I disown it. So, in simple words I had to make the GPS work. And then, this happened ::

I figured out from going through maxx forums, posts etc. that as soon as you get unhooked off a US network, the provider usually does some harakiri with your binary GPS settings because all of them are aligned with a certain GPS vendor and since it is capitalism, you know how it is. And AT&T had done the same to my curve :(. So, I decided to download BB's own BB maps and see if it could force the GPS to switch back to its original setup.

And ... like all happy endings, it worked !!!, picturein nahin dekhte kya :) ? I downloaded BB maps, switched it on to "Scanning for satellites" and went to sleep -- woke up in the morning to my BB saying "You are here" and since my default theme was ON, I guess the set had restarted itself sometime in the night. I quickly went to GPS settings and in 2 mins flat, it locked onto my co-ordinates (btw they are 28.45 N and 77.08 E :-)). Then I went to Google maps and it was down to "3 meters" from "1700 meters" and if you are reading this even now, I am sure you know what that means - Voila !!!! And, the icing was the drive to work, with my chauffer driving, I could actually see the dot moving on the map all the way -- it was simply immense.

And in short, my GPS had become a rockstar !!!!

But, the best was yet to come -- I had to drive to Faridabad on Fri-Sat for the conference, and my driver and I were thoda-sa clueless about the place -- if you peepz have been here, you would know its almost a village shim-shimmying as another Gurgaon in the making (GIM vs. MIM :P ?) -- and then I switched on my GPS and google maps. I actually asked my driver before he even saw that a left turn is due and Will you miss it and he missed it !!! And, nowadays I am so afraid of actually seeing myself on the satellite view -- within 3 meters accuracy, obviously - am sure, somebody did remember Enemy of the State, din't we :) ?

I tell you, this is just turning out to be a legen--wait-for-it--dary love affair already :P.

Long post -- guess you read it, so thankz :) and Tata !

Take care,
Ranjan

From Sarkar Raaj to The Happening ... a 50% hit rate !

2008-06-15T20:15:00.008+05:30

Alloz again !!

Over the past two weeks, I have had the occassion to watch Sarkar Raaj, Aamir and The Happening ... a classic indie switched between almost two box office disasters, well I did say almost :-).

1) Sarkaar Raaj was watched in Patna with Mom and Bhai for 70 bucks a ticket (can you believe that !!) and it was quite alright. Well, lemme take a minute here on Patnaz, especially thanks to a friend who keeps peppering me with security questions on Patna since his job takes him there quite a lot these days ... the latest in line being - "Can I hire airport cabs in Patna without the fear of being kidnapped ?" and sometimes, this just exasperates me because of the following reasons:

A - My parents and lakhs of parents like that (with tons of them being parents to IITians, IIMites and what not) have lived their lives in this "dangerous" place and continue to do so (btw, did you know in Gaya, near the birthplace of Lord Buddha, there is a small village which churned out 100 IITians this year, a success rate of 100% !!).

B - All Bihar is not Laloo at all, if we do not change our viewpoint, who else will ? We are supposed to be the educated lot nahin ? But, then, why would educated people be terrorists, right ?

Anyways, coming to Sarkaar Raj, I would say it is an out-and-out Aby's Baby movie (he came of age in Bluffmaster, and here he showcases the extra mile he is going to walk in his career for sure !, btw did you notice, the teeka image on SR's posters have Abhishek Bachhan's front profile in them, I saw that only yesterday !). Till the point, Mr. Small B is incharge, everybody else is just in a supporting role, and after he hands the charge over, the movie loses its zing (remember Cheeni Kum ?, And why did both of them have Big B ?), the last 10-20 minutes just motor on, and you end up wondering what could have been ? But, anyways, after Aag and Darling, lets just hope RGV is back and will only walk up in Phoonk and Contract, please lets all hope. And on SR, do watch it, if you have to, but it will be totally awright to wait for the DVD to happen, did I say wait ? I really meant, whenever that happens :).

2) Aamir: Priceless, that's what most indie movies are, made on original concepts, they are the real path-breakers, from minds untainted by the lure of money, with thoughts of doctoring masala for maximal impact - a la El Mariarchi (The original Desperado by the Indie-Rodriguez) or the recent No Country for Old Men by those venerated oldies - The Coens. Produced by UTV Spotboy (a la Fox Searchlight, so much for originality !!), its a small gem which needs to be appreciated in the same vein as Bheja Fry & Mr. Khosla's Ghosla :). Capturing a single epochal day in a common man's life, it runs on a terrorist theme which keeps you edgy for all of its 2 hours, no songs, no shenanigans, its plain simple pot-boiling - its intelligent and most importantly, it treats you intelligently and yes, if Mr. Khandelwaal keeps his head firmly on his shoulders, he might be the next man-next-door of Bollywood, but lets watch out :). Do watch it, its better than any other Indian fare of 2008 till now.

3) The Happening: Tom-tomed as Shyamalan's Sarkar Raaj (redemption vehicle post - Lady in the water & The Village - What was he thinking ?? - He called Lady in the Water spiritual, maybe I am the dense one here :-(), The Happening also disappoints, sad but true. Another apocalypso movie (What's happening to the World - The day after tomorrow, Cloverfield, I am Legend, Resident Evils, 28 series - Are we really gonna crash to extinction soon ?), this one takes a slightly different route as the gentile plant kingdom decides to give it back to humans, triggering off our self-preservation mechanism - but this one is caught in that sad no-man's land between documentary and entertainment, simply avoid. But, Mr. Wahlberg (The Departed anyone :-)) only enhances his reputation with a great portrayal of a fallen hero, who knows its his destiny to save the world, but has no super-powers really. I am bitter about this one - so much promise, such a bad output, let me not get started.

I have wanted to write more, but somehow will close for now - will try to come back sooner and later. Btw, other ones I need to watch are 21 and Dasavataram (The K Hassan one) - hope to do that soon.

Are any of you guys in Delhi ? Lets catch up with a movie whenever you have time :). Mail me at ronjan@gmail.com.

Take care,
'Ranjan

2008-06-01T22:08:00.003+05:30

Alloz !

Somehow, with no apparent allusions, I have been kind of nervy with an illusory, impending doom lying hidden somewhere, ready to rear its monstrous head at a moment’s notice. Do you also get these feelings – standing on a cliff’s edge with your foot losing its moorings, with no clue why you are transfixed there, unable to change the fall, unable to change your destiny? Its like watching a movie, but knowing that the 4^th wall has been breached, and you are going to suffer the plight of your onscreen avatar, a la “The Last Action Hero” (you gotta watch it to know what me means :)).

As I write, am watching the IPL finals – Chennai have already booked 163 runs in their innings, and it might sound middling before the Rajasthan super-blokes, but the side who has already made the runs is bowling now, so you never know :). One thing I have constantly seen chirped in the media is how people cannot decide which team to support? Well, I don’t see why in a year or two people start looking beyond nationalities and start picking on their favorites – based on city, captain or flair – you know any of the variables or a mix of them, apparently its the human mind. But, will that mean the National passion will go amiss – can’t say, but then Football is played in more than 100+ nations (India is currently 117^th / 118^th in the world, awright !), Cricket is a privilege of the few, so maybe, just maybe, Cricket will still have the nationalistic fervor. But, one key issue would be the money on offer, either the spoils would need to be shared with all boards to make National contracts equally attractive (did you know a South African gets ~$5000 per match National contract ?? Contrast that with the moneys on offer in the IPL, and you have your doubts).

I have started reading Kurt Vonnengut, apparently his Love-storyesque Slaughterhouse # 5 (no-no, not similarity in content, but as in the signature paean of the author). Its a mis-mash of science fiction, war stories to create a unsettling brand of philosophy which somehow appeals a lot to my dark, cynical mind. That brings me to my latest question – What do morals mean in Business? Try answering it, a few weeks back, a profitable suggestion of mine for the client was branded uncharitable on a social footing, I don’t understand the meaning of that, if its not illegal, then what does it actually mean?

By the way, did you hear this amazing strategy of prime-property acquisition by this “prominent” company of our age? Apparently, this company distributed oil petrol pumps to prominent people all across India with quiet a profitable proposition (and people jumped on the company’s pedigree in a hope to become millionaires, if not billionaires) but there was this small fineprint which stated that in case of inefficient functioning of the pump, the security deposit (~1 lakh) will be refunded, but the property with the pump infrastructure will go back to the company. Now, this great company, faced with selective subsidization of the oil prices by the government for its subsidiaries, declared its refinery an export-oriented unit and agreed to supply oil to its franchisees, but with no subsidies. Result ? – No light bulb required, all the pumps went under and people recovered their security deposit, while handing over their prime properties to this ossum firm. Last heard, this behemoth was developing its veggie-sales stores across India, and that too quite profitably. Unethical, amoral, I don’t know. But, the only thing I know is with Holding power, you will always make money, and hence Money breeds more money (btw, just for the details, this great company finished this great Indian acquisition in ~2.5 years).

Cya !
Ranjan

The World was silent when we died ...

2008-05-11T23:10:00.000+05:30

Holler !!!

Am backkkk - will try to stay, will be my only refrain :P. Life has been mostly as usual, job, masti, job again. The title has much to do with Half of a Yellow Sun, a wonderful novel by Chimamanda Adichie, a description of the war-stricken nation of Biafra, which could cede itself for 3 years from Nigeria, before Nigeria with UK backing successfully killed millions of lives into submission. Do ask your parents (1968-71) - did they ever hear about this small country and their struggles ? Its amazing how much gets killed in the world around us and we tom-tom about our 8.9% GDP - sets one thinking ...

I have been getting a lot nostalgic nowadays - small things set my mind yearning for Woh kagaz ki kashti, woh baarish ki paani ... today in the morning, I crossed somebody who smelt like the smartly creased exam-papers in my school freshly printed the morning / night before. The morning sun brutally reminds me of my school mornings and falling leaves evoke memories of those long evening walks which seemed so perfunctory back then. Nowadays, my mind can clearly etch details I thought I had long forgotten - those platoon preparations, the karate back roundhoicks, the sleepy classes - its as if, my mind is set to write a redux cut all over again...

Well, I hope this start doesn't end up stillborn yet again..cya :).

Taarez Zameen Pe :)

2007-12-25T18:22:00.000+05:30

Heylo !

Have been trying to write from a long time now, but somehow, somehow it does not happen (ain't that the stroy with all of us :-) ?) - But then Taare Zameen Pe inspires and the least I could do was write about it !

I read on Rediff how Amir would be very hurt if TZP doesn't do well but thankfully he needs not worry, for all its "considered escapist" flaws, TZP heralds the onset of a tremendously-skilled director with that most-important element, knowing the audience ki nabz - its a fortress of a few, and thankfully Amir adds himself emphatically to that eclectic echleon.

TZP is minimallistically a story of redemption, of deliverance of a specially-gifted child from the clutches of cliche-ridden "topper-fanatic" society (wow ! that sounded like ossum :P) from obviously the differently-abled Amirrr (what does that mean ? - watch the movie, I hate piracy :P) - but on a serious note, TZP is a multi-layered film questioning multiple paramters of human existence, even forcing the existential question - What exactly is normal ? Just because a large group of people laid out alphanumerics - understanding them begets normal ? I don't know - but it goes back to the age-old adage of all of us school products being carbon copies of each other, rolled out year-after-year, per rote.

But, letting the subliminal be, on a superficial level, this movie highlights how dependent a child is on its parents - while that can be a great thing if the parents turn out to be the The Great Indian Family variety, but it can be a disaster if they can't understand the child, misinterpret her at every nook and put him down at every corner. Amir, you touched a chord here, blessed are those who were understood by their parents when it was most needed :), most warranted.

Anyways, nostalgia trips aside, TZP is clean, thoughtful, subtle entertainment in the age of SLB Sa-sa vanity :). Thanks Mr. Khan, as I would say, till next time, Adios !

Ranjan

Jab We Metz

2007-11-12T12:40:00.000+05:30

"What man proposes - god disposes" - so goes the saying. As soon as Shahid and Kareena decided to hang the boots on their relationship, God decided to make Jab We Met ossum :). Infact, to everyone's utter surprise JWM has emerged as the sleeper hit of the year what with its very-hummable songs and A-class acting stints.

Storywise, its not path-breaking but the difference is the treatment [as the cliche goes] - Imtiaz Ali puts in a lot of heart behind this tale of Love renounced and reunited and it shows. Shahid finally steps out of his self-drawn SRK shadow and puts his innocent looks to very good use. And Kareena, is a revelation - trodding the thin line between being believable and hamming, she does tremendous justice to her character of ultra-bubbly and cup-brimming girl. But, the one which ups the ante is the cackling chemistry between the lead pair, each time they disappear from the screen, you want some more and that's when they make the cut. And even with Mauja hi Mauja coming only post-credits, the music holds its own and that is saying a lot, trust me, with today's one-song wonders.

The only grouch was if they had cast somebody more rootable like Aby's Baby as the antagonist - that would have made the story much more poignant and climactic - but then, you can not always get the moon :), can you ?

So, do watch it - and trust me, its worth watching this one over OSO and Sa-sa-sawariya combined :).

Till next time !
Ranjan

The Diwali Meltdown !

2007-11-10T15:59:00.000+05:30

As has become the norm with festivities, The Big Indian Consumer gets pelted with choices by every MNC worth its salt - and though, still a pretty much indigenious industry, Bollywood has left no stops barred to corner its share of the pie in the form of Saawariya, the SLB omnibus and Om Shanti Om, the potboiler from the Farah Khan - SRK firm.

So, what's the dope - is it worth it ? Actually much like the US sub-prime meltdown, its a story of too much hoopla over nothing - both Saawariya and OSO don't stand more than an average chance if it was a normal time of the year - but just because of Diwali, they might actually end-up being money-spinners of some repute.

So, as it transpired, I was fated to watch the 1st day 1st show of Saawariya on Friday, and trust me, I was back on the street after 20 minutes. In a sheer waste of crores of money, opulent, magnamanious sets stand like a soar thumb over a debris of a story. Infact, its so painful, it will end up giving you headaches and if you still want to sit through, I would advise you to contribute to the sale of an aspirin or maybe two. A gloomy sojourn into nowhere, this was a long time coming as SLB continues diving down the RGV path post-Khamoshi (I am only hoping Black was not a glitch but the regular order) - infact SLB should be caned bare-derriered in the sun for a waste of this magnitude when Indian Cinema is finally waking up to its rightful place in World history.

So, after much trepidation, I went to watch OSO today - and I must admit, I actually had fun. OSO is a brilliant good-natured spoof on Bollywood of today as well as 70's and its tackily brilliant, but then Farah and SRK got too intelligent for their own good. I don't know what went through their combined intellects :-), but what could be a brilliant comic feel-good drama was given the shape of a supernatural reincarnatory cinema with a supposed sting in the tale and therein was the lost plot. As Barney (of How I met your mother ?) would say, and then Ossumness was replaced by sheer boredom - and you almost say, What a waste ? but for the brilliantly picturised songs and then after Saawariya, you could probably even end up liking Mithun Da's 1990's body of work :P. This one is fultoo timepass, watch it if you really want to types :).

Will post a travelogue in my next !

Adios and take care !

Ranjan

"Not" smokin' at all !!

2007-10-27T10:19:00.000+05:30

Soo, yesterday I went to watch No Smoking, a seemingly intelligent movie from Anurag "Black Friday" Kashyap. Featuring John Abraham and Ayesha Takia, this movie was supposed to be Anurag's take on his ultra-black mind. Well, to be charitable, it is a brilliant take on Anurag's mind, but a poor excuse for well-meant intelligent cinema. Infact, the only movie I can begin comparing it to is Robert De Niro's Angel Heart, a equally vapid, vacuous, self-sassy supernatural (did I just say that !! - Yess !) flick, but with a lot more intelligence and consternation for the audience.

No Smoking starts off quite well with a superbly-paced and taut first half with glitzy cuts of Siberia and labyrinths of Mumbai (amazing photography, la !) and at the 1-hr interval, you are really hooked - this is good cinema. But, then comes the punch when Anurag lets his dark psyche take over and the movie spirals downward into a mish-mash of neo-realism and genre horror, with delinked scenes and multiple unexplained sequences which makes you feel really wishy-washy. Kashyap could surely join that cult of 1st-half brilliantoes (remember Cheeni Kam) who simply lose the plot in the end (a la' India's cricket most of the time :-)).

So, please stay away from it and let Mr. Kashyap know how badly he has tarnished Vishal Omkara Bharadwaj's name (Music director and producer, he might have directed it as well, you wish !!!) - and what was that Abraham statement about Bipasha's Phoonk De being an integral part of the movie - crap and loads of crap - its just a titillating number when the credits roll in the end-as if to make it up for the crap it has served to the front-benchers.

This one ain't smoking - ain't at all (did you see, I could not even talk about the story - this movie aggrieved me so much !) - Pathetic is the word.

Ta !
Ranjan