blasianfma.com

My Two Cents: Nicki Minaj's 2012 Grammy Performance

2012-02-14T14:30:00.002-06:00

Here's my little reaction to Nicki Minaj's ~~Illuminati Audition~~ 2012 Grammy Awards Performance...

FFXIII 2: Initial Thoughts and Comparisons

2012-02-03T01:43:00.000-06:00

Yesterday I picked up the mildly anticipated Final Fantasy XIII 2. I have to say, I haven't been this unexcited about a major Final Fantasy release, ever. It's not because I'm getting old, and it's not because I'm losing interest in the genre or the Final Fantasy franchise. But dammit... It just seems like ever since Final Fantasy X 2, the games have been going to hell.

I always imagined what it might feel like to be in this position. I remember when I jumped on the FF bandwagon back in 1997. My first FF was VII, and at that time all of the old-school purist Final Fantasy worshipers proclaimed that the latest (at the time) installment that was Final Fantasy VII on the Playstation had completely bastardized the entired series of games; that Final Fantasy VI was the last "true Final Fantasy game." Of course I argued (on countless threads throughout a vast network of forums) against that kind of logic. I encouraged my fellow gamers to embrace the changes that had come to the series.

The changes, at that time, were not so great. Of course with the change of hardware came the expected visual and aural upgrades, and the gameplay didn't suffer. It was the same old Final Fantasy formula in my opinion.

Final Fantasy XIII came along and challenged even my forward-thinking...ness.

When comparing the entirely new battle system that has been presented in the Fabula Nova Crystalis to many of the other games of the franchise, initially, I couldn't help but cringe at how drastic of a change had been made. This was no substitution of certain musical themes or a different color scheme in the menus system. This change was so great, that I didn't understand why Square Enix didn't just call the game something else. Honestly, my first impression was that this game was NOT a Final Fantasy.

Fast forward to yesterday.

I went and purchased Final Fantasy XIII 2, reluctantly. I have never missed a major release (XI doesn't count at all), and I don't intend to. Upon returning to my apartment, I popped the game in and did what I usually do: Just let the game run. I like to take in what the creators have put together. It's all about first impressions, and I wanted Square Enix to Impress me.

In games past, we have been introduced in a number of different ways. In FFVII it was a simple screen that said "Final Fantasy" with the traditional Prelude music playing. In VIII it was a compilation of rugged black and white photographs of the games different characters and environments (one of my favorite intros). In IX it was a small montage of cut scenes from the game with a homely track playing overhead. Same thing in FFXIII. In this game? I watched what seemed to be some strange fight event between a lady and a purple haired man. It could have passed as a montage similar to that of Final Fantasy IX, or even XIII, but what struck me was that it was almost like it was just one continuous cuts scene. You could see that the characters were speaking to each other at times, but because this was the opening introduction... there was "introduction music" playing.

Come to find out, when you press start and select new game, the EXACT SAME cut scene plays, only this time with the actual music and voice acting! How shoddy is that!? Needless to say, I was upset.

I've played what is perhaps the first 6 or 7 hours of the game, and I have not been won over yet.

One of my gripes with the Fabula Nova Crystallis games is the battle system in FFXIII and XIII 2. As mentioned earlier, with this series, the battle system has been completely overhauled. It almost feels like real time, but it's still turn based. I suppose if you were an optimistic person you could say (as I tried to argue with myself) that at heart, this is still very much Final Fantasy style battling. If you wanted to be optimistic about it, you could point out the fact that your characters are still taking turns, and that things just move a little faster... that's all ^_^

UNFORCH.... (short for unfortunately), I'm not so optimistic when it comes to my Final Fantasy battle system. You see, one of the things that I enjoyed so much about the turned based system was that you had time to think and plan out your moves; much like a game of chess. You could get into a battle and, think about what had happened in the opening scenes of this confrontation and adjust the way that you responded accordingly. With this new system, things are constantly going, and you have to constantly switch your settings out. They're called Paradigms, and I don't like that mainly because the game wants you to switch Paradigms in the heat of battle which, to me, wastes a lot of time... I could go on, but at this point, I really think I should make a video about this rant because I don't think I've ever typed this much for a blog ever.

Anyway.... huff huff....

I conclude this first FFXIII 2 entry by saying this: The game hasn't won me over, and it doesn't look like it will. I'm only playing it because I have played every Final Fantasy that has come out (XI does NOT count). If it's anything like FFXIII, I may not finish it. SN: I didn't finish FFXIII either.

2 Guys 1 Bassoon (and a piano)

2012-01-05T13:31:00.000-06:00

Music has played a vital role in my development. It is to me what high school football was to so many other "normal" people. And though I didn't have a music program in high school, I did have the passion to learn. So, when I entered college I taught myself the basics of theory and how to read. As you probably know, some of my favorite music is that of video games, including, but not limited to, the music of the Final Fantasy series. I was lucky enough to have a "jam session" with bassoonist Garrett McQueen, who happened to be in town during the holiday. We did a few Final Fantasy pieces together. Enjoy :D

Final Fantasy VII Main Theme

Fisherman's Horizon (FFVIII)

Tifa's Theme (FFVII)

Smithsonian: The Art of Video Games

2011-12-23T13:02:00.001-06:00

Mass Effect 2 is among the list of games

to be featured because of its stunning visuals

It's good to see that the video gaming industry is gaining more and more of the respect that it deserves. This year alone saw an epic stride with the Supreme Court's ruling that video games deserve the same first amendment protections as television, movies, and other forms of art. Now, the Smithsonian Museum of Art is presenting "The Art of Video Games" Exhibition which features some of the most influential artists and designers during five eras of game technology, from early pioneers to contemporary designers . It also will explore the many influences on game designers, and the pervasive presence video games have in the broader popular culture, with new relationships to video art, film and television, educational practices, and professional skill training.

Eighty games will be featured in this exhibition that will show the evolution of the industry and the artwork therein. But seriously, do we need four Mario games and five Zelda games on the list? Perhaps, and hopefully, they will revise their decision and include some other visually striking games that caught the attention of gamers this year like El Shaddai Rise of the Metatron, or Skyrim.

The exhibition runs from March 16 to September 30, 2012
To read more about this event, click here.

Movie Trailers Galore!

2011-12-23T12:14:00.002-06:00

What a month this has been for movies, eh? I definitely can't wait to see all three of these little gems for 2012

Prometheus

The Dark Knight Rises

And, of course, The Hobbit!

Must See: The Iron Lady

2011-12-18T00:31:00.000-06:00

So, I've just taken [as in about 1 hour prior to this posting] a great interest in watching youtube videos of British Parliament. Those folks are just too crunk for me! One person, in particular, who has many many youtube videos up is a woman named Margaret Thatcher. This bitch in blue is a mess! She snatches wigs left and right!

So imagine my surprise when I saw the folks over at Studio LX posting this trailer!

Now, you know I love me some Meryl. And I'm loving me some Thatcher right about now, so you KNOW that this Iron Lady movie is a MUST see for me. Can't wait to write a review. Until then, I'll continue watching these messy videos of the real Thatcher just reading these men.

Podcast 3: Cold Cakes

2011-12-12T14:38:00.001-06:00

In this podcast you get to hear me talk about a whole bunch of stuff including, but not limited to:

Happenings in my life - What's new, what's happening, what I plan...
My encounters with ungrateful homeless people....
Skyrim

and some music by Whitney Houston :D

Podcast 3: Cold Cakes (Click to listen)
Download (Click to download)

Skyrim Theme... for Pirates?

2011-12-12T02:22:00.001-06:00

I was chatting with a pal of mine and my latest quest in Skyrim came up [I'm currently breaking from the main story line to learn magic at the Mage college of Winterhold]. Since we were chatting about music, I asked if he had heard the Skyrim theme, to which he responded "no." So I started sing/humming the theme, when he stopped me and said "I don't think that's it... you're humming the Pirates of the Caribbean theme right now...."

He was right! I don't know whether it's fatigue from this busy weekend, or what, but I sure was humming the Pirates theme. My question is, why?? I looked both of the themes up via youtube and figured that the brass section that plays the part of the Pirate's theme that we've all come to know and hate, is very much like the manly male chorus parts of the Skyrim theme. You be the judge:

Skyrim:

Pirates:

[note: I'd like to add, here, that the above video should NOT be called "Priates of the Caribbean Theme Song" because it is not a "song." Songs are sung... that is, they are pieces of musical work that include lyrics and a voice to sing said lyrics. This is simply a musical work, or "piece." You sing songs.... they have to have words /end rant]

Final Fantasy XIII-2 OST Samples Released

2011-12-09T01:48:00.000-06:00

Just because the series as a whole is going down the drain doesn't mean that I can't enjoy the music from the forthcoming release of Square-Enix's second bastardization of Final Fantasy tradition! Thanks to my pal DonK for letting me know that the fourth and final disc samples were up!

I must say, this OST is shaping up to be more than I expected [but that's not saying much at all, trust me]. So long as it's not as sh__ty as the FFX-2 OST, we'll be fine. Of course, FFXIII had what is perhaps one of the most epic OSTs of the series [cry foul if you want old school fan boys, you're only stanning].

I'm anxious to play the game, so that I can hear the rest of the music [Even if it does sound a lot like a Namco inspired OST [READ: Tekken, Ridge Racer] :D

Check out the samples for yourself

Singing For Old People

2011-12-09T00:58:00.001-06:00

As you may or may not know, not only do I work for a huge shipping company, I also work for a small church for old people as their ~~senior citizen baby sitter~~ choir director. I do a lot more than simply direct the choir, though. I manage the budget for the music department, I plan [with the "help" of the reverend] all musical aspects of the worship service, I rehearse both the adult choir and children's choir [had to bribe those little snots with a 20 piece chicken nugget just to get them to get enthusiastic], and I have to deal with all of the he said she said.

Most recently, I was tasked with what used to be a job of the outreach department. However, because we no longer have an outreach department, I had the joy of putting together the annual Christmas Caroling event in which members from the choir and congregation travel via church buses and carpools to various nursing homes and sing for their residents. In years past, I had just always tagged along.

Well, at a recent planning session I asked about the annual event:

blasian: So... what about Christmas caroling this year?

Rev: Oh ok, glad you mentioned it, I'll be looking forward to what you get together. It is pretty late in the year to be planning it, though...

blasian: -_-

I literally had one week of preparation. I gathered the phone numbers of the various nursing homes and made calls, 100% of which I reached answering machines, or worse, front desk workers who didn't seem to know what was going on [or how to speak English]. Two days went by with me calling and receiving some sort of excuse:

blasian: Hello, is your activities director in today?

random: Oh no she went to lunch... call back in about two hours.

blasian: Two hours?

operator: If you'd like to make a call... please hang up and try again

blasian: -_-

Two Hours Later

blasian: Hi, is your activities director back from lunch yet?

random: Oh! She's not coming back in for the rest of the day.

blasian:.... oh... when do you expect her back?

operator: If you'd like to make a call.. please hang up and try again.

blasian: -_-

In the end, I secured 2 of the 3 places that I had planned for. And when the day came, I simply wanted to get it over with. A number of different events have taken place with me at the center of it all. One year, an elderly woman with severe Alzheimer's grabbed me while I was conducting the choir and started babbling something about how the solo was hers and that I had done an extremely cruel thing to her by stripping her of her dignity. It was quite dramatic, and the helpers had to come and give her a tranquilizer shot. Mostly, however, we sing to seemingly lifeless bodies that just sit there and stare at us like we're delaying them from their next round of bingo [and, going by the looks on their faces, they must really like bingo because I always get the feeling that they just want us to leave].

This year was no different.... oh, yes it was... it was VERY COLD and it RAINED.

There we were again, singing to a group of elderly assisted living residents who seemed to not really give a damn. It was rather luke warm on both sides of the venue, and I couldn't wait to move on to the second and last performance.

When we arrived there [the place where the lady grabbed me 2 years prior] we began to sing, and immediately I began to hear someone crying... rather loudly. Here we go again I thought to myself. I looked out into the crowd, and there was, in fact, a lady crying. But in between her sobs I could hear her reciting the next line of the carol that we were singing. She was singing along, but it was paining her emotionally to do so. I wondered why.

There was another lady that seemed like she was enjoying the performance. She moved her arms as if she were conducting us, and gave us our next lines as well.

Afterwards the activities director [the one who gets a two hour lunch and doesn't have to come back for the second half of her work day] explained to me that all of the patients that we were singing for today [and apparently every time for the past 3 years at that particular venue] are a part of the Alzheimer's ward. That is, that their minds have deteriorated to the point that they cannot function normally in society and are wholly dependent on the care givers.

Something that we did touched quite a few people that day, and when I realized it, everything seemed to change. I was so sad, and reminded of the movie the Notebook; particularly *spoiler alert* the end when the old lady suddenly remembered her husband, and then forgot again.

I guess the point to this long rant that nobody will ever read is to respect old people. We'll all be old one day. To be forgotten is a step worse than death.

Finally Bitches!

2011-12-04T01:21:00.001-06:00

I've finally freakin' made it to the B rank!!! You'll be hearing about this in my next podcast by golly! I'm so happy happy happy! Now... they had better NOT strip me of my rank if my sorry ass Comcast internet connection starts to act a damned fool again. It was by the grace of the great lord that I was able to sustain such a good connection that I might win enough battles to pull my Chun Li up to 5000 battle points, and now!!! *cue heavenly chorus* I have done it!!! Mwaaa hahahaaaaaa!

Skyrim Entry Number One

2011-12-04T01:04:00.001-06:00

I done messed around and bought Skyrim under the agreement that RandomJ would also buy it instead of going to his local retailer and staring at the box for a quarter of an hour at a time. The Gamestop man had me hyped as I swiped my BoA card. "You'll invest a lot of time into this game... over 200 hours easily."

I can't even begin to imagine playing a game for more than 200 hours. I haven't played a game in that way since I was a teenager. Hell, and even then, I didn't really ever max out the game clock. I did manage to get Final Fantasy VII to 99:59, but I had no clue that FFVIII's clock actually recorded times over 100 hours.

I put in the game, set up my character, watched the amazing intro, played along, and then, when I was finally given free reign... when I was finally able to traverse this province known as Skyrim, I found out exactly why one might invest hundreds of hours into the game....

You have to walk every f___'in where you go!

I mean, maybe I'm wrong, but I'm a good guy. I don't want to stop by the local stable and steal a horse if I can't afford one, so I have to walk. The second "mission" of the game, if you can call it that, calls for you to meet a group of old guys living up in a mountain.

Side note: I do enjoy the fact that you aren't spoon fed in this game. You find out where you need to go, it is marked on your map, and you have to find your own way there.

Upon learning where these old fogies live, you are given a marker on your map... and that's it. Now, I really hope that there wasn't a short cut or anything, because my ass was walking for literally 30 minutes in this game just to get to the base of the mountain. That's how epically huge this world is. When you look into the distance and see a mountain range, and know that the town/city/destination that you are travelling to is beyond those rises, guess what... you have to walk that mess!

I don't know how I feel about this right now. I do like the fact that this game is turning out to be not as linear as other certain games lately *coughFinalFantasySeriescough* but there have been a few times when I've had my ass handed to me because I accidentally stumbled upon a fort of angry necromancers and set on fire without a snowball's chance in hell of fighting back because I'm just not strong enough.

It's all good though. I'll probably end up selling all of that wolf fur I've been collecting for some gold to buy a freakin' horse.

Subtweet Examples

2011-12-02T12:43:00.001-06:00

Now that we've given you the definition of a subtweet and taught you how to subtweet, it's time to get to some subtweeting examples.

Subtweeting can be done in a number of ways.

You have your subtle subtweets....

Depending on the number of people she dates [which by the looks of
things isn't many] she could potentially be tweeting about anyone.

You're not so subtle subtweets....

Okay, so she's definitely talking about one of her friends, but which one?
Unless the person who thinks he/she/it is being subtweeted about stalks the
followers list, he/she/it won't know that the subtweet is about him/her/it

Your aggressive subtweets....

This is where things start to get dirty. This twitter user is calling out those who subtweet her
by subtweeting. It certainly is a vicious cycle.

And your downright vicious subtweets...

Damn

As mentioned in previous articles, there is an art to subtweeting. If done correctly, one may be viewed as a comical, or even sage twitter user. However, if abused, a twitter user would appear to be an overly passive aggressive individual incapable of expressing his/her/its true feelings to whomever is being subtweeted.

Podcast 2: Promises and Battles

2011-11-23T03:02:00.001-06:00

Here's my second podcast! In it, you'll hear me talk about:

*Why I wouldn't be a good parent
*Goal setting
*Video Games I want to play
*A track from Ridge Racer 4
*Gamestop employees filing a lawsuit
*Mika Nakashima: All Hands Together

Podcast 2
Download

Slay My Ears! Tekken Tag 2 OST

2011-11-18T13:24:00.001-06:00

After much anticipation, the Tekken Tag Tournament 2 soundtrack has finally been released, and I must say that this is by far the most refreshing fighting game soundtrack to grace my ears in a while! Taking from the TTT1 ost and remixing them for an even higher energy performance, the arrangers and composers over at Namco do not disappoint. Honestly, the Tekken music has always made me want to get up and dance instead of fight. Every soundtrack since Tekken 3 has reminded me of those fusion arrangements of various classical music themes that I would come across when trying to download something simple like "O Fortuna" or Mozart's "Dies Irae" from his Requiem Mass. I just want to get up, turn of the house lights, turn on the club lights, pop some pills, turn on the strobe light, turn up the music really really loud, take a shot, and just go crazy! (I don't do any of that stuff in real life, btw).

I'm currently loving Sadistic Christmas. As the holiday season is approaching us, I find this track to be quite appropriate :D [anybody else hear this and just want to yell "CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES C'MON!"?]

You can listen to the OST playlist here

Special thanks to DonK for the tip.

Distant Worlds II won't be so Distant...

2011-11-10T01:40:00.000-06:00

After reading Random J's review of the Distant Worlds II concert in London, and after listening to random clips of the concert on Youtube, I decided to do some research on this second iteration of the Distant Worlds series.

Rewind to February 2008 when I went to Chicago to reunite with a bunch of summer 2007 friends and see the Distant Worlds Music From Final Fantasy concert. It was cold and epic. I remember being late for the concert thanks to my buddy Mike who said it would take no time to make it to the Rose Theater. As we rushed in to find our seats the orchestra and choir had already begun the first few measures of Liberi Fatali... epic. During the intermission I was able to take a picture with Edea from FFVIII (awesome cosplay)

It was the first time I had ever heard video game music played by a live orchestra. I mean, sure, I had seen performances on Youtube and what not, but this was different. My video game music virgin ears' cherry had been popped all over again, and it was great.

Present Day: I found out that the aforementioned Distant Worlds II concert is going to be in nearby St. Louis in March 2012. At first I was overcome with excitement. I have friends in St. Louis that are avid gamers whom I have yet to meet (facebook generation). But... after seeing that they are having two separate concerts, both of which are not featuring the new arrangement of Dancing Mad (mainly because the venue doesn't have a pipe organ, I suppose), I just feel like this second concert would be more of the same...

I am a Final Fantasy fanatic. This was made clear to me the other day when I properly schooled a random facebook commentator on someone else's facebook status about the properties of the Ultima spell in the FF series... yeah...

However, I don't know if I want to shell out the money for a ticket and go through the arduous task of renting a car with my company's corporate discount, just to drive 3 hours away and hear a bunch of the same music that I've already heard. Have I just become jaded over the years? Oh, and not to mention, most of the best seats for BOTH concerts are already taken!!! Gamers are hardcore.

Super Happy Joy

Blasian

Podcast 1: The Introduction

2011-11-03T17:32:00.004-05:00

Alright... here we go.... let's see if this thing works out!

In this podcast you get to hear:

me talking about my trip to NYC
a phone call between myself and an annoying telemarketer
more ramblings
and some Mika Nakashima

Podcast For 11.3.11
Download

Subtweets of the Day [9.21.11]

2011-09-22T16:20:00.000-05:00

@KeywannaRose: im selfish casue i dont wanna share YOU with nobody else, not even those that came before me #subtweet.

Well, it sounds to me like someone has security issues. I'm not gonna lie, though, I have felt this way before. You know? You're so into someone that you get upset when they talk about not only someone that might be trying to talk to them, but even when they talk about the old and extinguished flames in their lives? It's a personal issue, and needs to be fixed if you want the relationship to work.

@angelicaagracee: #truthis, I'm done with our friendship.. I've always been there for you, but it was never really mutual. You're too followbatty #subtweet

Girl, that's deep, but I hear you. You can't invest too much of yourself into anything especially when you're yielding no returns and you're only getting negative results. Some call doing that "faithful"... I call it stupid.

@Yungsteezie: #Subtweet'n a person dat u follow is #LAME jus @ em

Unfortunately, steezie, not everyone has the balls to do that sort of thing, and while everyone may think they know who the person is subtweeting, the person subtweeting is not saying that that's who they're talking about... just passive agressiveness at its finest.

@shakasisulu: When u say this without naming names are u not also doing the same? RT @JoziGoddess: Many choose a #subtweet #twar, immature

#Twar? Really? LMAO!!!

Gears of War 3: More of the Same

2011-09-22T16:02:00.002-05:00

I’ve just finished Gears of War 3. This was a long time coming. Just like a few other video game series, GoW has become one of my favorites because of its innovative take on the third person shooter genre. Along with this revolutionary duck and cover system, comes a stunningly intense story line, lush and grungy environments, loveable personalities that few developers are able to create in their characters, and an intense soundtrack.

This time around, in GoW3, one would expect this conclusion to the trilogy to end with a bang. It does, but more on that in a bit. The format is the same. Take cover, fight with [gun]fire [or frag grenade, flame thrower, or a wide variety of other weapons], advance, and watch a cut scene. It is repetitive, and yet somehow I was driven to continue thanks, in part, to the intriguing story line. Each cutscene serves as a reward to a job well done, revealing a little more about what exactly is going on in Sera, and then you’re thrust right back into the action.

In this iteration of the Gears saga we get a better look into the backgrounds of some of our favorite side kicks [Expect to feel much more sympathy for Dom and Cole]. We also get to see more of the Queen of the Locust, who, somehow, has lost all of that stuff that was on her back in GoW2…

The sound in this game is on par with the rest of the series. There are a lot of new additions in terms of how the Gears are able to fight off their Locust [and Lambent] enemies, yet a lot of the sounds seems to be recycled from Gears 2 [including the music].

I’m not sure whether it is because we have reached the pinnacle of what game designers are able to achieve on the current platforms, but Gears of War 3 seems to “just” the next game after Gears 2. One would think that in order to counterbalance the fact that we can only go so far with the development of the sound and visuals, a more engaging and interesting twist would have been added to the main campaign. Perhaps I’ve just become jaded over the years, but as much as I love the Gears series, I can’t help but feel that there was no reason for the delay here. Yes, it runs smoothly [the game is more fast paced than 2, but not as fast as 1], and yes the story is concluded, but it feels kind of rushed, especially at the end.

Overall, I do see why it was awarded high marks. It is a good game, but that’s just it.

Now it’s time for multiplayer. Anyway, that’s where all of the fun is!

Studio Ghibli Video Game!?

2011-09-15T17:20:00.002-05:00

Thanks to the people over at Studio LX for posting this video onto my Facebook wall!

While watching the video posted above, I noticed that the animation style and musical influences reminded me of both Studio Ghibli [Ponyo, Princess Mononoke, Spirited Away] and Joe Hisaishi [composer of soundtracks for the aforementioned titles]. Lo and behold! This game is being made and both entities are involved!!!

I don't know why it never crossed my mind. The idea that Studio Ghibli should work on a video game is a great one! If you've ever watched any of their films [especially the ones [and honestly I don't know if there are any more] that are made in collaboration with Hayao Miyazaki] then you know what I mean when I say that the animation is top notch. Their style captures the imagination much unlike any other production studio I've ever seen [including Disney [with whom I believe they collaborate...]].

Add to that the over talented Joe Hisaishi, and you have a title that I will anticipate and research for days on end. Hisaishi's music is unrivaled, not only in the realm of Japanese anime, but on the scope of film music in general. He has been called "The John Williams of Anime" to which I can partially agree. While he is ever so famous for his work on film scores, his crafting ability is in a totally different field in that he is able to capture the child-like mystery, haunting nature, and down right fun that is portrayed in the films that he works on.

In my research of this game [Ni No Kuni], I found that a nintendo DS version was released some time last year and that a PS3 version would be coming out sometime this year. Only problem? The soon-to-come PS3 version has not been confirmed for US release. No English translation for such an amazing looking [and sounding] game!!!

I'll definitely be watching this one, and hoping, and praying that it does make it over to us!
I don't even have a PS3... and I'd buy one for this!!

SUPER HAPPY JOY

blasian

New Stuff for September

2011-09-09T01:09:00.001-05:00

My life has become this repetitive cycle of work, work, and more work. I mean, I guess I could add more into the day portions of my life since I work mainly during the nights, but sleeping in is just so good!

Anyway, I've had a lot of time to think about things lately. And I just felt that I should share some of them right now:

1. Recently I had a senior moment.

I'm only 27 years old and the other day I completely forgot my safety alarm code at work. I've been using that code for just about 2 years now, and last Friday night when I was on my way out, I stood at the keypad and completely bombed. Even though I knew I had forgotten, I tried to input a code anyway, which only added to the confusion because then a whole bunch of other numbers started popping into my head. Employee numbers, bank account numbers, phone numbers. It's quite a scary thing, to completely forget something that you know you know. I had a dream once that I had forgotten how to play the Battle Hymn of the Republic. In the dream I was sitting at the piano and just couldn't get it out. Lord knows if there's one piece of accompaniment that I can play flawlessly in it's entirety [actually not the middle part with the TTBB] it's Wilhousky's Battle Hymn arrangement. That was YEARS ago [the dream], but I remember waking up just disturbed. Anyway, my boss looked up my code for me on the following Tuesday and wrote it down for me on a slip of paper. When I saw the numbers it was kind of weird because I saw them and said "that sure is it!" Nevermind that my brain had decided to delete that portion of information from my memory, right?

2. Recently I've had a break out rash.

Just yesterday I went to the gym and on my way back I looked down at my arms [riding the bicycle]. I noticed a lot of strange looking bumps. I immediately pulled over and investigated my arm. Sure enough, it was covered by these strange [and itchy] lumps. I counted 23 on one arm and then noticed that my other arm had also been plagued! I finished my ride home and decided to take a shower. When I disrobed and walked by the mirror I noticed that the bumps were all over my upper body. You can imagine that I was freaking all the way out. Took my shower, called some friends to see what they had to say. One told me to take a benedryl, another told me to go to the ER and another told me to go to the minor med. I took the third bit of advice today and got checked out. As soon as he saw my arms, the doctor said that I had an allergic reaction to SOMEthing. I couldn't provide any kind of helpful information. He asked me if I had eaten anything new in the last 24 hours, changed laundry detergent, worn new clothes etc. My life has been so repetitive lately that I was very confident when I answered "no" to all of those questions. Nothing new. Nothing has changed, which is why I found it so disturbing that these bumps would just decide to form.... I'm ok, though. I have been stressing a lot for the past few months over my relationship/nonrelationship/thing that never happened but happened with the preacher's son. That whole situation has not only been confusing, angering, saddening, and stressful, but now, apparently, detrimental to my well being [both in mind and body] I've concluded that I need to just let it go. It came to a head [today] when we argued [via text... as usual] over something that really had no point. No matter how much I blame him for being a spineless and selfish boy, it won't make anything better.

3. Mortal Kombat

Recently the Mortal Kombat Trilogy became available on XBL [xbox live] and I quickly downloaded it. Mortal Kombat came out during a time of great memories for me. I was in the fourth grade living in Chula Vista and attending a great school. Too bad the actual game wasn't as great as I remembered it [mainly, of course, because I was trying to integrate the nostalgia of the game with my life's well being at the time]. After getting fed up with the cheapness that is the MK trilogy [and reminded why I am a Street Fighter fanatic] I decided to give MK one last chance and popped in the newest installment of the series into my xbox: MK9. Though the fight engine is greatly improved, the game still lacks, to me. Perhaps I'm just too used to Capcom's style with the Street Fighter series now, but I can't get with it. I've been apart of the fighting game scene here in Memphis for about 4 months now, and I have heard some people say "this isn't street fighter, you need to adapt" which leads me to believe that I'm just acting like an old fogey and not wanting to play anything but the game I know. I wonder though, is playing MK really learning "how to adapt" to an innovative fighting system or is it "learning to adapt" to shitty development?

I've typed a lot for now. I will stop

SUPER HAPPY JOY

blasian

Inspired by "The Help" Movie

2011-08-17T23:18:00.000-05:00

As I stood in line for popcorn and drinks a lady [customer from work] and I engaged in conversation.
"I'm here to see 'The Help'." She said.
"Oh?" I responded, "So am I."
"Well you know," she continued, "I lived through that."

I think that the most powerful aspect of the movie "The Help" is that, while it's based on a novel, it is based on things that really happened no so long ago. For someone young [by comparison to people who actually lived during those times] like me, this movie was a real eye opener. Working with quite a few elderly white people here, in Memphis TN, and the experiences that I've had with those people, really helped me connect that much more with the cast of "The Help."

This kind of thing is scary, though, because you then realize that the people that you work with, the very same people who once had the term "nigger" in their regular vocabulary and that had state laws enforcing segregation [separate bathrooms and books] are still alive and well. And then you start to wonder: Have they changed their minds, or have they just realized that the times in which their beliefs once thrived are not at their peak?

I once happened upon my coworker's iPhone. She had just purchased it and hadn't set everything that she wanted, or perhaps she was just being careless. In any case, her mother had texted her and the text preview was on the screen. It read: "Mom: Gotta ttyl stranger looking nigger walking toward me." Quite honestly I was shocked. Of course, I've never met her mother, but the girl herself was just as sweet as apple pie. I digress.

Anyway, I definitely recommend the movie. It is, indeed, another one of those "black people movies" but it is very touching and not full of the typical coonery, niggatry, and buffoonery that we've been seeing with everything Tyler Perry in the last decade #NoShadeTyler. It was definitely worth the seven dollars and fifty cents that I paid during matinee hours [old people in a movie theater still smell like old people. I swear I thought I was in a nursing home or a church].

Super Happy Joy

blasian

Unconditional Love

2011-08-16T12:31:00.000-05:00

Today is a tell all, but I am going to change the names of certain individuals in order to protect identities. This is all piggy-backing off of my last blog post about being different, not having full acceptance, and whatnot.

So, I was involved with this person named Ellis [remember, name change for identity protection], but, according to him, it didn't work out thanks, in-part, to the fact that we had "such radical" differences in our life philosophies. Ellis is a southern boy, born and raised here in Memphis, and yet he's so unlike anybody in this area. This is more than likely what attracted me to him in the first place. I'm not going to go into details about that, or I'll start getting nostalgic and send a text message. So, yeah... our philosophies were so different that it was enough to hinder whatever love growth for me that may have occurred. Ellis has this very common and text book philosophy regarding family and unconditional love. He even applies it to some of [not all] of his exes. Take his ex Haydn, for example. Haydn, from what I have heard, cheated like no other. Haydn promised Ellis a great many of things, did not deliver, and still, even until as recently as last year [when the relationship ended "years" ago] Haydn [unknowingly] still holds this power of Ellis, controlling Ellis's very emotions.

My aunt in Mississippi introduced me to the concept of "unconditional love" in 1997 when I was sent to Mississippi prior to our move to the south. My father had been sent to jail for "spousal abuse" [they weren't even married], and I was less than twelve hours away from being put into "the system" [Child Protective Services... aka... orphanage]. She explained "unconditional love" as this form of love that one has for another person regardless of what happens. Regardless of what that person does to you. Unconditional love means that you love someone no matter what.

Now, forgive me if I seem a little different, but I think that that's complete and utter bull shit. Perhaps in a couple of years I will have changed my mind on the situation, but right now, in the year 2011, thirteen years after having first been told about "unconditional love", I STILL think it's bull shit. It was bull shit when my aunt told me, and it was bull shit when Ellis tried to highlight why we weren't morally compatible.

I'd rather not subscribe to this notion that would have me, years after the fact, pining over my ex. This silly idea that keeps a door open when that door should be shut and locked with the key thrown away. This is not to say that during those times of love that you did not have very special moments, that you did not learn valuable lessons, that you did not truly love. However, unconditional love seems to only hurt people.

I have another aunt here in Memphis. Part of her weekly routine is sitting out on the patio with one of our cousins who is a drug addict. Every week she stresses herself out and shouts until her voice is gone, and then still ends up giving him twenty dollars. Is this unconditional love or is this coddling?

You see, I am a believer in letting a person figure things out for themself. Funding my cousin's drug habit will only influence him to use the money that I give, in the name of unconditional love, to buy more drugs, causing harm to his body. Ultimately I am to blame for his downfall. Oh but ye of little faith, why not pray or hope for those people to get better?

It's the same thing with Ellis and Haydn. You pretend that you're over things, and you're not. You have a friendly relationship because you have unconditional love, but the relationship ended before 2008 and in 2010 you're sad about it.... and he's the one that did you wrong.... You can see how this unconditional love thing would NOT make sense to me right now, don't you?

Maybe I'm wrong, but I doubt it. The bottom line is we all have our different levels of forgiveness. We all have our different capacities for love. Because Ellis grew up in a very family oriented setting, once in which he had both his father and mother for a much greater time of his childhood and adolescent years, and because he had examples of that love [Ellis's parents divorced but remained friends], he would naturally have the philosophy that he has, and I respect that.

What I do not respect is the fact that he's using his life example to try and advise other people as if his example is the one and only solution to life.

Christmas Eve 1989, I remember sitting at the dinner table with my family. The phone rang and my mother went to answer the phone. She called for my aunt and said "It's your daughter calling to wish you merry Christmas." My aunt proceeded to the phone and said "fuck you, do not call me" and hung up. Definitely an influence on me, to be sure, but I'm not that cold.

The point is, people are different for different reasons. One person's experience, one person's solution does not work for the next person. I'm going to get over my situation and I will continue to do well in life as I have been from where I came. I am certain that Ellis will do fine as well. The only difference is that I feel that he will have more years of loneliness and turmoil by his own doing. He will hold to these things that he should have let go of long ago.

Personal Time

2011-08-14T17:58:00.000-05:00

Just want to jot down something really quickly.

I was tweeted something funny the other day, and then I realized that the situation that I was in wasn't really humorous at all. I was eating out at the local Filipino store in Memphis. I sat down in the store to eat, and as I was eating the Filipino guy changed the channel from TFC [The Filipino Channel] to BET [Black Entertainment Television]. What's so funny about it is that [almost] the exact opposite happens when I go to the barber shop [located in the hood]. Usually when I am sitting near my barber [lady], she'll change the channel from BET to something like MSNBC or CNN [it must be my glasses].

I tweeted about this and then came to realize that this was yet another sign of me being different. It was another example of how I'm not fully accepted by either side of my biraciality. Being a person of such diverse background is most definitely a double-edged sword. At times I have the best of both worlds, and at times I have nothing of each.

Super Happy Joy

blasian

Teach Me How to Subtweet

2011-08-12T13:48:00.000-05:00

You've probably know the definition of the word Subtweet but do you know how to do it?

Subtweeting is an art. Plain and simple. You have to be very tactful and intuitive when you subtweet someone, and you have to be dealing with someone that displays equal adeptness. It's pretty safe to say, however, that most of the people using Twitter, today, do possess the ability to read into your subtweet and realize that it's about them.

Technically, all you have to do to subtweet someone is put the hashtag #Subtweet somewhere in your tweet. But there's something so much nicer [or vicious] about planning out your attack.

Say, for instance, you there's some random breaking news about somebody in the pop music industry. For this example we will use Beyonce, as most of the people that I follow are either fans of Beyonce or know who she is. Say Beyonce got pregnant. This breaking news would hit and the sea of Beyonce fans would start tweeting about it. Perhaps you don't have many people on your timeline that tweet about Beyonce, but there is ONE, and this ONE keeps on tweeting about it, over and over and over again.

What do you do? You can subliminally let this person know that they're getting on your f_cking nerves, clogging up your TL [time line] with tweets about Beyonce without directly confronting them.

Subtweet Example: Okay! We get it! Beyonce is pregnant! Can you PLEASE stop clogging up my time line with this old news #subtweet

Perhaps, if they see your subtweet, they will understand and back off. However, as is typical with Beyonce stans [stalker fans... people who idolize whomever they are stanning for], you might get some backlash if he/she realizes that you've subtweeted them, and you might be hit with a counter attack:

Subtweet counter attack example: If you don't like what I'm tweeting about then you can simply unfollow #Subtweet

By this time, it's pretty clear what's going on, and you can choose to do one of two things: ignore it, or unfollow. Subtweeting is just as simple as that.

It has been my experience, however, that I'll #subtweet something and I'll get DMs [direct messages] from followers asking me if I was just subtweeting about them. Usually my response [if I was NOT subtweeting about them is an honest "no"]. However, if the person I am subtweeting confronts me in private, I reply with "if the shoe fits."

All in all, this whole notion of subtweeting, the examples of how to do it and the methods for countering and replying to those who confront you about subtweets is nothing but one humongous validation for people who are passive aggressive. Unfortunately a lot of us have trouble, or know of people who have trouble, telling it like it is/ being told like it is.

Super Happy Joy

blasian