Blaughter

Parking Spot

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 21:43:00 +0000

John was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up toward heaven, he said "Lord, take pity on me, "If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of my life and give up tequila."

Miraculously, a parking place appeared.

John looked up again and said,
"Never mind. I found one."

You Got Mail

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 20:19:00 +0000

Sheraz is racking leaves in his yard and he sees his neighbor Rani coming out of her house and checking the mail box and then slamming it..

then rani comes out again, checks the mailbox and slams it again..third time she comes and does the same thing..

so sheraz finally asks her..rani whats wrong..why do u keep coming and checking for ur mail and slamming the mail box..

Rani says: my stupid computer keeps on saying 'u got mail' ... :P

Lawyer

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 20:17:00 +0000

Vakeel:
Tallaq karwanay k Rs.50,000/- lagain gay.

Husband:
Pagal ho kia? Qazi ne Rs. 101/- mai shaadi karwai thi.

Vakeel:
Dekh lia na sastay kaam ka nateeja..........

Heaven

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 20:15:00 +0000

Einstein, Piccaso and George W. Bush were standing at the heavens gate.

The gate keeper asked Einstein: "Who are you?"

Einstein replied: "I am Einstein"

The gate keeper aasked: "How can I be sure that you are the real Einstein?"

And Einstein brought a board and wrote down all of his formulae.

"You surely are Einstein! In you go!"

Next came Picasso.

"who are you?", he was asked.

I am Picasso", he replied.

"Just as Einstein proved it, you too prove it to me"

And so Picasso brought his canvas and painted soem beautiful portraits.

"You surely are Picasso! In you go!"

Next came Bush.

"Who are you?" He was asked.

"I am Bush jr." he replied.

"Just as Einstein and Picasso proved it, you too prove it to me."

And Bush replied: "Who the hell are Einstein and Picasso?!?!???!"

"You surely are George Bush! In you go!"

Kanjoos Baap

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 20:14:00 +0000

Beta aik aur icecream khao gaye? kanjoos baap nay apnay betay say poocha...

Beta: lekin abbu jaan aap nay aik icecream bhi nai dilaii ab tak :(

Baap: tum bhool rahay ho beta jab hum pichlay saal yahan aaye thay toh aik icecream nahi khai thi kia?

Kanjoos Mareez

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 20:10:00 +0000

Doctor (nurse say): Woh Kanjoos mareez ab kis baat per naraz ho raha hai?

Nurse: Is baat per kay dawai khatam honay say pehle hi woh thik hogaya.

Biwi

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 20:09:00 +0000

Ek dost nay doosray dost say kaha: Tumhein apni biwi kay saath kapray dhoney main sharam nahi aati?

Dosre dost nay kaha: Is main sharam ki kiya baat hai, jab woh meray saath rotiyaan paka sakti hai to kiya main us kay saath kaprey nahi dho sakta?

Chor

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 20:09:00 +0000

Ek chor ki biwi shohar say kehnay lagi: ghar ka rashan khatam hogaya hai jaldi se lekar ayein.

Chor (biwi se): Le aaonga aisee bhi kya jaldi hai zara dukanien to band hone do

MotorCycle

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 20:08:00 +0000

aik sikh raat k waqt motorcycle pay ja raha tha, achanak thanddi hawa chal pari toh bike roak kar apna coat ulta pahan lia aur button peechay ki taraf kar liye aur bike pay sawar ho gaya, sardi say bachnay ki is nai tarqeeb par bayhad khush tha k dhalaan par bike slip hoi aur woh dharaam say neechay aa gira-

kuch dair baad wahan bohat say log jama ho gaye, daikha k sardar sahab maray paray hein aur aik sikh un ki laash k pass khara hai.

us'say logon nay poocha... kia hua hai?

woh bola jab mein pohncha toh sardar jee karaah rahay thay, mein nay jhuk kar daikha toh pata chala k unki gardan mur gai hai mein nay zor laga kar jo gardan seedhi ki tab say nahi bolay.

Newspaper

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 20:07:00 +0000

Yeh tum akhbaar say kon si khabar kaat rahay ho? ik dost nay doosray dost say poocha.

us dost nay kaha: akhbar mein khabar chappi hai k aik aadmi nay apni biwi ko sirf is baat pay talaaq day di k woh us ki pockets ki talaashi lia karti thi...

woh toh sahi magar tum is khabar ka kia karo gaye? dost nay dobara sawal kia.

dost nay jawab dia: apni pocket mein rakhoon ga

Principal

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 20:06:00 +0000

Maa'n nay betay ko Uthatay howay kaha ... beTay jaldi say uTh jawo warnah school say dair hojayegi ...

BeTay nay jawab dia ... maa'n ab main school naheen jayounga ...

Maa'n nay hairat say kaha ... lekin aakhir kiyoun ...

BeTay nay jawab dia ... isliyeh k school main koi mujhay pasand naheen karta ... school k teacher mera mazaq oRatay hain ... bachchay mujh say nafrat kartay hain ... aisay main, mein school kab tak jata rahoun ... Maa'n nay kaha: lekin beTay tumhain school to jana hi paRega ... aakhir ko tum school k Principal ho. :P

Time

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 20:05:00 +0000

ek sahab nay train main sooey howay admi say time poocha tu us nay ek thappar martay howay kaha 1 baja hai.

toh woh sahab shukar ada kartay howay bolay k shukar hai main nay ek ganta pehlay nahi poocha werna 12 par jatay. :P

COINCIDENCE

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 20:05:00 +0000

Teacher: Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE ?

one Student: Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the sameday sametime.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 20:04:00 +0000

Tom : How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?

David: You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated.

Teacher

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 20:03:00 +0000

Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

Pupil: A teacher.

Aik Dost

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 20:03:00 +0000

Aik dost doosray dost say: pata hai meray aik dost nay karachi say dubai samandar kay rastay tair kar janay ka programm banaya.

dosra dost: to kia woh wahan pohanchnay main kamyaab ho gaya??

Pehla dost: nahi jab dubai ka sahil 1 mile door rah gaya to woh thak gaya aur wapas karachi aagaya.

Post Master

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 20:01:00 +0000

Customer: If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Canada in two days time?

Post Master : Yes sir, it definitely will.

Customer : I bet you, it won't.

Post Master : Why not?

Customer : It's addressed to Japan.

Choices

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 20:00:00 +0000

Wife : Do you want dinner?

Husband : Sure, what are my choices?

Wife : Yes and no.

Flag

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 19:59:00 +0000

Sardar to Shopkeeper: - Mujhe India Ka Flag Dikhao, Shopkeeper nay Flag Dikhaya.

Sardar: - Isme aur Colour Dikhao.

Wish

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 19:58:00 +0000

The God asked a guy for his wish.

The guy goes: "I want to go to Hawaii but I am too scared of flying. Can you build a bridge from Los Angeles to Hawaii?"

God said: "You know what it would take to build such a long bridge in the pacific? Concrete, steel, manpower, time etc.. this is such a huge job."

Guy goes: "Ok God. Dont worry about it. I want to understand women. How could i understand their psychology?"

God thought for a momoent and said: "Buddy: how many lanes you want on the Freeway?"

Microsoft Engineer

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 19:57:00 +0000

There are three engineers in a car; an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer and a Microsoft engineer.

Suddenly the car just stops by the side of the road, and the three engineers look at each other wondering what could be wrong.

The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the electronics of the car and trying to trace where a fault might have occurred.

The chemical engineer, not knowing much about cars, suggests that maybe the fuel is becoming emulsified and getting blocked somewhere.

Then, the Microsoft engineer, not knowing much about anything, comes up with a suggestion, "Why don't we close all the windows, get out, get back in, open the windows again, and maybe it 'll work !?" :P

O.K.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 19:56:00 +0000

Once a Surd was slapped by his friend. He asked him whether he slapped him seriously or just for fun.

His friend replied "I was serious". The Surd told "Then it's O.K. I don't like people making fun of me".

THE MIRROR

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 19:53:00 +0000

A sardar is traveling via train. On his way, he feels the urge to go to the bathroom.
So he goes and opens the bathroom door, which happens to have a mirror in the front.
The sardar thinks there is another sardar bhaiwaal in there, quickly shuts the door and returns to his seat. Five minutes later he goes again, only to find the same sardar bhaiwaal. An hour passes away, he's made 20 trips to the bathroom, only to find that the same person is still there.

So he finally gets ticked off, goes to the last compartment and tells the TC (Ticket Checker) what's been going on. The TC, who also happens to be a
sardar, feels bad for him and promises to throw the bum out. The TC walks down to the compartment with the troubled bathroom to get the resident bhaiwaal out.

Few minutes later the TC comes back and tell the sardar "I'm sorry, I can't do anything. The guy in there is a railway staff member".

Santa Singh

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 19:52:00 +0000

Santa Singh was walking on the road and paused to read the graffiti on the wall.

It read "Padne waala gadha."

Santa Singh thought for an hour, erased it and wrote back,

"Likhney waala gadha."

Khushi ki Inteha

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 19:51:00 +0000

Man: My wife is missing

PostMaster: bhai yeh post office hai, Police station nahi. aap police station chh ja kar complaint kijiye.

Man: kiya karoon khushi kay maaray kuch samajh nahi aa raha tha so idhar hi chala aaya :P