1. Spencer Hawes will look like a big doofus. He will continue to look like the biggest doofus on the team until the Kings draft Greg Monroe from Georgetown

2. Omri Casspi will bring bagels for everyone….was that an off color joke about Hebrews…yes, yes it was

3. Tyreke Evans will have  a great game because March is Spiritual Wellness Month , and Evans is a proud zionist….thanks to Casspi (got you again, Jew)

4. The Kings will win, because, as all Blazers’ fans know, whatever makes the least sense will inevitably happen this year. Does it make any sense to lose to a team you beat within the week? No, so it will absolutely happen.

5. I will curse vehemently at Rudy Fernandez for taking threes he shouldn’t….this will probably happen about 8 times.

Have a great weekend folks…don’t blaze too hard

Disclaimer: Should you be a complete moron, you might think these are real pictures….they are in fact not…I believe the legal term is parody

If you have images you would like to share, leave your email address in the comment, and we’ll get a hold of you

2. Will Marcus Camby play well, if he plays at all? This is one of the better opportunities for the Blazers to dominate the paint, as Sacramento doesn’t really feature a low post threat. Camby hasn’t done much since joining Rip City, and if he plays, expect more of the same. Even if he does suit up, his tired old bones are probably well aware of the date on the calendar, and months of grinding basketball have probably taken their toll.

3. Can Jerryd Bayless build on a stellar performance? J Bay had one of his best games ever in the loss to the Nuggets, and did everything he could to supplement the slightly impotent Brandon Roy. He’s been a crucial cog in the system, and Bayless, with the now absent Steve Blake, has  a real chance to prove his worth to the squad.

4. Where the hell did Portland’s defense go, and will it be back tonight? Something about division opponents brings out the worst in Portland’s defensive mentality. Both the Jazz and the Nuggets have torched the Blazers for 118 pts, and for the league’s fourth best defense, that simply won’t cut it. Fortunately, the Kings are members of the Pacifice division, so Portland can function without that pesky little curse of the Northwest.

5.Who’s going to win it, and who needs to more? Speaking pragmatically, Sacramento’s season is over. Sure, they can win a few moral victories, and carry momentum into next season, but Portland is still fighting for this year. Unquestionably, the Blazers need the W more, and according to odds makers, the should do so as 7 point favorites. However, Carl Landry has been excellent, as has Tyreke Evans, and should Portland mail in a defensive performance like Sundays, it won’t take much to beat them. I’ll say Portland wins, but the Kings will cover the spread in a nail biter.

Enjoy the game, and as always, keep Blazin.

Call me ridiculous, but I really wish speeches like this would make their way into more sporting events. For instance, on a night when the Blazers are playing the nearly irrelevant Pacers, wouldn’t it be fun for Brandon Roy to deliver a Macho Man like challenge to the Indiana faithful. Grab an imagination cap, and stroll with me into the realm of awesome possibilities.

Gene Okerlund: With me now is the always exciting Brandon Roy…Brandon, you boys are in the hunt for the final playoff spot, and leading that hunt as of right now. How important is tonight’s game?

Brandon Roy: Ooooooo Gene, its as important as a big rack is to a stripper. Thooooose Pacers are gonna try and come in our house, and lemme tell you right now Gene, ooooooooooh, it aint gonna be pretty.

Okerlund: You sound pretty confident Brando.

Roy: Ooooooohhhh, I am! Those corn fed sissies don’t stand a chance. They’ve won twenty games Gene, tweeeeeenty games. They were out of the playoffs in January. Danny Granger needs to find a new home, before the wretchedness that is Indiana consumes the last of his talent. I can’t wait to throw one down in Roy Hibbert’s dopey face. Its gonna be naaaaaaaasty!

Okerlund: You bring up Danny Granger…aren’t you even the slightest bit worried,t hat he’s gonna torch the young Mr. Batum?

Roy: The young Mr. Batum, can more than handle himself, Mean Geeeene. Regardless, Danny Granger can’t score a hundred points, and he probably won’t get a lot of help from his mates. Even if Danny Granger scores 85 points, we’ll still beat them by fifteen. They can’t play defense and we’re on fire son, do you smell it, those embers are already buuuuuuuurnin….next stop, Indiana, oooooooohhhhh yeahhhhhhhh!

Brandon exits with a Macho Man flex

Okerlund: The always entertaining, Brandon Roy

Keep blazin

Brandon Roy will break 30 for the first time in 7 games. He’s due for a break out, and after Nicolas Batum provided some much needed offensive gusto in Minnesota, Roy should be well rested for the Grizzlies.

Neither team will break 100. In their November meeting, both teams failed to break the century mark. Look for a similar defensive struggle this evening.

Marc Gasol and Zach Randolph will play very well. When Marcus Camby is your most dominant interior presence, you can’t really expect to own the paint. The Blazers will need outstanding guard play to pull this one out.

Keep your eye on Nicolas Batum. As mentioned earlier, he had a stellar game against the Timberwolves, but young players are less than easy to bank on for consistency. I hate to say it, but the young Frenchman may be colder than old frog legs tonight.

Your trade for Marcus Camby was met with mixed emotions by Blazer fans. Some applauded your efforts to fill the gaping hole left by injury-stricken big men. Camby was, and is still seen as a huge defensive presence, and a good portion of the fan base supported the move. Others complained about the losses of Outlaw and Blake, and the intangibles they brought to the team. While Outlaw has been injured most of the season, and Blake did nothing spectacular, it’s easy to see why some of these folks were nervous about a personnel adjustment. Before you made the trade, the team was surviving. They weren’t wowing anyone, or shooting anyone out of the gym, but they stayed relevant, and that’s all anyone could expect after the rocky start to the season. You had to make a decision, a decision that’s so far from easy, it makes the speculative gooblydegook on Blazer message boards seem short-sighted and juvenile. You pulled the trigger on the Camby deal, and while his premier against the Celtics was far from earth-shattering, an 18 rebound effort against the Jazz silenced a few of the detractors.

Then that goon Lopez of the Nets had to go and ruin it all, proving my long held belief that you never trust a Stanford Cardinal. Kevin, I am surprised your heart did not physically break. The win against the Nets was nice, but overall the night had to feel like a major loss. Not in the standings, or even on the ravaged roster; I bet it feels like you have lost to fate.

How cruel a mistress fate has been this season? The expectations for the Blazers were nearly through the roof back in October. After a surprisingly successful 08-09 season, the Rip City faithful were ready to make a run, and attempt to grab a spot in the upper echelon of Western Conference basketball. Little did any of you know the misery fate had in store for you.

Mr. Pritchard I wish I had some advice for you, but I do not: not one smidgeon. The only things I can muster are a healthy dose of sympathy and a dollop of pity….and questions; lots of questions. Who knows when Marcus Camby will be back? Will you guys make the playoffs? Is Greg Oden ever going to be healthy? Questions, Questions everywhere, but not one answer to speak.

Keep your head up Mr. Pritchard. While the scourge of fate may haunt you for years and years and years, it will eventually have to go away, and go darken someone else’s doorstep. While we hope it will be sooner rather than later, we must be prepared for the worst. Greg Oden may be feeble his entire career…Brandon Roy may burn out, or worse yet, seek a new home…Kevin Durant could continue to torch the stat sheet every night, and keep that nasty little question at the forefront of your mind…regardless of all that, you must endure. Your victory last night came against a team that has come the closest to actually giving up mid-season, and really, who blames the loveable New Jersians for tanking it at this point? But Kevin, this is about you, and so I leave you with a small smatter of silver lining…No matter how bad things get, who you lose personnel wise, or how many postseasons you miss out on, keep in mind, at least you aren’t the GM of the Nets or Warriors.

Sincerely,

L Cash

Most will miss the importance of this game. The Vegas odds will likely have the Blazers as a heavy favorite. New Jersey is truly terrible this year. But what happens if the Blazers lose. Marcus Camby, newly acquired Blazers’ big man, isn’t writing off the Nets yet. Earlier this season, Camby watched the Clippers, his team at the time, fall to the red-headed step child of the league. As dismal as the win column is for New Jersey, they aren’t completely untalented. Brooke Lopez has grown in leaps and bounds, Devin Harris is a superstar imprisoned by mediocre work ethic, and Terrence Williams is one of the premiere athletic freaks of the league. To put it bluntly, it is completely possible for the Nets to beat the Blazers.

Should the Blazers fall, it will signal, at least in my book, the end of the Blazers season. I am completely aware that the season is just over halfway over on paper, but losing to New Jersey would seal the deal in my mind for a number of reasons.

First, it would mean a three game losing streak at this critical, “heading-into-March” junction. The Blazers have steadily dropped in the standings as of late, and now find themselves fourth in the Northwest Division. Professional analysts try to downplay the importance of streaks, but nothing signals the current state of a team more than a streak. Division rivals Oklahoma City find themselves in a completely different boat, riding high on a nine-game win streak. Not only did the streak vault the Thunder ahead of the Blazers in the standings, it got the media interested in the relatively unknown, and incredibly young squad. Kevin Durant is right on the precipice of superstar standing, and his supporting troops are some of the best in the league. Other teams in the league are afraid of the OKC squad.

The same cannot be said for the Blazers. They don’t instill fear in their opponents. Other organizations are not circling the Portland dates on their calendars. With the exception of the Camby trade, the Blazers haven’t been the focus of any media attention. They aren’t making any waves in the ocean of basketball.

A second and possibly more important reason why a loss to the Nets would be fatal is the idea that a team who can’t win winnable games at important times is less than destined for a successful postseason. With a meager one game lead on the Hornets in the conference standings, Portland is not only going to have to win important games against teams of equal talent; they are going to have to avoid losing silly games to less-talented teams. New Jersey may be playing for whatever sense of pride they can salvage, but Portland is playing for pride and a playoff spot. To be outmatched by a team of the Nets prowess would be a nearly insurmountable mental block for the Blazers going forward.

The logical side of me wants to say this will be an easy win for Rip City, but the logical side of me is also the one who turned off the Jazz game last night when Portland seemed to have a W in the bag. The eye test for the Blazers is not one that is currently yielding the most positive of conclusions. They look depleted and tired. Brandon Roy isn’t nearly as Herculean as he seemed to be before the hamstring injury.

Right after the injury plague struck the greater Northwest area, the Blazers had a fire and fury when they played. They hustled on defense, passed on offense, and truly seemed like a team that could overcome anything. I would have a very difficult time saying the same thing now.

Keep your fingers crossed for a victory over the nets, and as always, keep blazin

Marcus Camby doesn’t really want to be a Trail Blazer. His family is settled in Los Angeles, his wife especially likes the city, and Marcus was hoping to re-sign with the Clippers, an organization he ultimately likes. No one blames Marcus for the disappointment that surely came when his agent called and said a move to Portland was likely.

That being said, should the Trail Blazer faithful be excited about this move? A healthy portion of the fan base clamors almost daily for some sort of personnel move, and with the devastating injuries that crushed the big man reserves of Rip City, Camby seems like a good person to bring in. To those who just observe the surface of Portland basketball, the trade seems very fortuitous. Greg Oden and Joel Pryzbilla won’t be back this season, and should the Blazers earn a playoff spot, the lack of a true big man becomes a truly daunting obstacle. Camby fills that hole to some degree.

But trades are two sided, and the question that begs asking is this: Are the Blazers giving up the right pieces of personnel to bring in a new cog? Steve Blake is far from exciting, and far from explosive, but he has been a solid piece/contributor. Travis Outlaw hasn’t been healthy all year, but the small chance remains that he will be healthy in March, and ready for the playoffs. The pessimistic side of everyone who follows Portland can easily find the little parts that make this trade seem like a bust in the making.

No one, not even Camby himself can deny that he is a very “seasoned” basketball player. In his mid-thirties, Camby is certainly not a long term solution to the Portland front court, and being somewhat of a journeyman has made it hard to believe that he will be anywhere for any great length of time. Beyond that, Camby just isn’t a very good offensive player. He can’t create his own shots, averages less than ten points, and won’t do much to dissuade defenses from training all guns on Brandon Roy and LeMarcus Aldridge. Giving up Steve Blake means giving up a fairly steady option from 3-point range. Camby certainly can’t fill those long distance shoes.

Having said all that, Camby isn’t a complete hack, and can definitely bring something to the squad. He is the second best rebounder in the league, and with Portland’s less-than-awe-inspiring work on the glass, Marcus’ ball hungriness will come in handy. He’s a much better defender than those he will be joining, and he might even teach LeMarcus Aldridge how to block a shot.

The trade would clear up the somewhat complicated guard jam of Portland. Currently, Steve Blake, Jerryd Bayless, Brandon Roy, Rudy Fernandez and Andre Miller are all fighting for minutes in the Blazers back court. Batum can swing both ways (guard and forward, perverts) so moving out Blake doesn’t leave nearly the hole the lack of a big man created.

Camby is a fairly fresh soldier. Saying this about someone as injury prone as Camby is almost silly, but Juwan Howard’s zombie corpse can only take so much, and I doubt he was expecting to play the minutes he has played thus far. Jeff Pendergraph and Dante Cunningham have been serviceable, but should Portland claim a playoff spot, their inexperience will become more glaringly obvious with each game. And if I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a hundred times, LeMarcus Aldridge is a pansy. He is a classic Texas big man, and if Portland doesn’t get someone with more than sunshine and unicorns in his heart, they will continue to get dominated like the gimp down low.

As someone who has steadfastly preached against a premature trade, I have to say that this one doesn’t seem terrible. It doesn’t cost Portland anything more than a boring white dude and a hobbling goober of a forward. (and some cash) While Steve has been a contributing factor in “Mission Survival” he isn’t necessarily indispensible. Could the trade completely back fire, and cost the Blazers a playoff spot? It’s certainly not impossible. But if the glass turns out to be half full, the Blazers will have put themselves in a position to not be completely dominated in the first round of the playoffs. The chances of advancing are slight, but at least they won’t get run out of the building. Should the trade fall though, I don’t know that I could make the same prediction.

As always keep blazin, and share your thoughts in the comments below

There is literally no way of predicting what the Blazers will do. They could do what they did Tuesday, and put on an exhibition in horrendous basketball. While the Oklahoma City Thunder are making strides as a group, and are far from the terrible squad they have been in the past, scoring only 77 points against them is inexcusable. Last week, the Jazz bent Rip City over the barrel, and basically squashed any notion that the Blazers are even the second best team in the division.

But Wednesday brought with it a completely different Blazers squad. Steve Blake had his best game of the season against a perennially strong Phoenix squad (I know, crazy) as Portland took the Suns to the woodshed for a full forty-eight. It would be easy to explain if Brandon Roy had made his way back into the lineup, but he was out again. The little team that could did it again, and I have no problem expressing my confusion.

Kevin Pritchard spoke with some members of the media this week, and explained that Portland management is doing their best to remain patient and stay the course with the current squad. Since the night Oden fell prey to his annual leg injury, with Pryzbilla going down soon after, Portland fans have been clamoring for another big man. Pritchard admitted his own desire to pull the trigger on a deal, but due to the decisions of those above him, decisions he praised as correct and well-thought out, he was unable to do so.

And given the bipolar nature of this squad, it’s hard to criticize the GM. Half of the time, the Blazers are unstoppable, and the other half, well….they’re awful. I don’t think anyone envies the position of Portland management. They can choose to not make any moves, deal with the completely vulnerable paint they present every night, and wind up getting bounced from the first round of the playoffs, vowing to come back next year with a healthy, and wrathful squad or they can make a hair trigger decision, trade away a crucial piece in personnel, and deal with the ramifications, good or bad, of that choice. To modify an old cliché, do you trade away a completely unpredictable bird in hand for two equally unpredictable birds in the bush? It’s not an easily answerable question, and to those of us outside, looking in, we just don’t have enough information, and/or sooth-saying ability to say.