BLEURGH

Part of the List

2012-02-09T20:39:00.002Z

I'm raw with emotion, and this will probably be my most vulnerable post, but so be it. I indulged in a long latenight skype conversation with one of my closest guy friends lastnight, and not long after, the conversation legged it in the direction of aesthetic appeal and individual taste. For those who are staring blankly at the screen wondering what in the devil's name I could be on about...he brought up the fact that he & some other guy friends of mine, were discussing which one of the girls in Uni they found the hottest...and that alone, was enough to send me on a wild train to Nostalgia-Ville. Trust me, the journey was not one I'd like to relive....but here goes.

Jacket : Boutique (Croydon) | Gap Shirt & High-waist jeans : Thrift Store (London)

This is the tale of the day that changed my life. There I was, standing in the corridor of my high-school one of many lunchtimes, enduring the mindless banter and snide comments thrown by the popular guys towards undeserving victims. Bored stiff, the guys then cast their attention to the group of girls across the hall from them (of which I was one), who cleverly (or not-so-intelligently, if you ask me) positioned themselves there ~~to catch the guys' attention~~ with an air of possession/ sense of belonging. The guys continued the game that had swept my year by storm, which was to rate the girls. Except, this time, they decided to rate 'us' in order i.e. from first to last, who was wifey-able. The list trailed on and on, as my ears pricked, I bid the powers that be that I fall anywhere but last. As they all struggled to draft the final 5 or 3 (or something low like that), I could feel my ears burning, the hairs on the back of my neck prickling, and my mouth go dry as my name was yet to be called out. I honestly don't know WHY I cared so much, but as a teenager, social acceptance is of paramount importance. So there I stood, and there I waited, as the proud selected girls held their heads up high and carried on with their lives...

Bag : ZARA | Suede Pumps : H&M | Rings : Bonita's | Fur Headband : Primark

...until I heard one of my closest male friends propose my name "come on man" he bid the others to agree. After much protest, my name was firmly fixed in a spot not too low down the list (and I soon breathed a sigh of relief). Only for my brief moment of pride to come crashing down as I overheard this uber-douche whisper mean words about my looks, and levels of attractiveness, bidding others to just leave me off the list completely. I spoke vaguely about this in my 'Live Your Life' post a solid year ago (so you guys know how I handled it afterwards), but never reflected on the true magnitude that particular occurrence had on my growth as a woman. There I stood, ashamed of my existence, crying inside, but holding my head up with pride. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder", but wise words fell by the wayside. I still have vulnerable moments and ugly days, but sometimes all it takes is a mental slap to realise that I'm not a 14year-old awkward looking kid anymore. I've grown into my features, and accepted my flaws.

Everyone looks at me now, and teases about how 'confident' and 'self-assured' I am, but I can testify that the journey here has not been easy; I am yet to reach my destination. Tracing back my steps in this post to how I began, I want to remind you that the list-drafting tradition is yet to go extinct among the male species. Funny enough, I was advocated as a prime candidate this time by said party of the opposite sex, except, his proposal was struck down by another with chimes of "Oh come ON!" That hurt, I wont lie, but the difference is, with years comes experience. I'm older now, and wise enough to recognise that his acknowledgment or approval is of no relevance to my life. After all, if I drafted a list of my own, he wouldn't even be in the running, so why sweat it?

Soundtrack of the Minute - Forgiveness : Wretch 32 ft Etta Bond

I received a Facebook 'friend request' today, only to click and see uber-douche himself. As I chuckled at the irony of it all, I was moved to draft this post. Seems lists are all the rage again, as another 'hottie list' was also drafted at work, and Lord knows if my male colleagues find me sexually appealing or not (although I hope not, as we work in a law firm, and I'd probably be prompted by HR to file a suit for sexual harassment), cos I sure as hell aint checkin' for them. LOL!!

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! You cannot be to everyone's taste. In looks, there's no One Size Fits All. Xisses

Hunter: Saviour of Snow

2012-02-05T22:31:00.000Z

Disclaimer: Apologies for throwing you off in this post with the hair I'm rocking, but this is me in present-day, 2 styles ahead...but as promised, I'll catch-up. But just thought to add current pics of me in snow, otherwise I'd be adding this when Spring was in full-bloom knowing me.

OMG! So, if you follow me on Twitter, you'll probably be one-up on the tale of my perilous journey lastnight....Buckle up kids, cos this is a about to be a bumpy ride. So my bestie **Tee invited me out to Imperial's annual cultural show (Afrogala), something out of our comfort zone of clubbing, bars & dinners. At first, I was averse to the idea, then an old pal was in town from Gambia, and we decided to go out and that seemed like the right spot. As they always do, plans fell through, but as Tee had already purchased tickets, we decided to go regardless.

Me - Shirt : Blanco (Gran Canaria) | Jumper : H&M | High-waist Jodphurs : Thrifted (Wales) Necklace : New Look | Studs : **Gift (Nigeria) | Wellington Boots : Hunter (Office)

Brother - Jumper : **Gift| Scarf : H&M | Jeans : Levi's | Boots : Timbaland

That fateful morning, I woke up with a knot in my throat, and a raving mother at my door pointing dramatically at the clock and informing me of the time. Weirdly enough, I'd slept at a decent hour, but had somehow managed to stand my alarm clock up at wake-up time, and had opted for a lie-in instead. Without plans for the day, and after TfL'ing (for those overseas, that means Transport for London) their journey to a mourning family, I was set on a day of cosying in bed, curled up by Blanche watching my new TV obsession, Revenge (post on that COMING SOON!).

(Mucking about with my brother in the snow. Mother was the Director of this madness....funny lady)

At about 6 (the time the food was being served before the show, but you black people and timing so...), I'd managed to drag my ailing body out of bed and was getting ready only to get in an odd argument with Tee. Weird, cos as much as we are both budding lawyers-in-the-making, we hardly EVER get into arguments. Ok, thats a lie, but still...this one came out of nowhere. Like, words were uttered, but not with the intention of ever causing a rift. After hanging up, I was like "How am I gonna go to a show with this chic and just be fakey-smiley smiley the whole time?" So I called back and we mended our differences.
I set out, and got that scary phonecall from a mother that doesn't know of your evening's plans. Oh...you don't get those? Well, in my family we live by the principle of what you don't know wont hurt you, so we save all informing until the very last minute. That way, the damage is already done, and you can avoid any cockblocking on a grand scale. So my mother lastnight was no different. She was all "where do you think you're going?", "its snowing", "everyone is making their way in, you're making your way out" and all the 'usual' jazz I thought. So i silenced her worries and assured her all will be well, all the while looking outside the window at my TfL mode of transport, and rolling my eyes at how dramatic she was being...little did I know.

We roll into London and BOOM! People walking in have hair covered in snow, and the roads are ankle-deep in the stuff...I'm like "What The Actual F*ck???" (A GC term) We attend the show, and all is well with the world (post on that coming....MUCH later LOL...still playing catch-up, spare me). We step outside the hall and BAM! WHAT THE ACTUAL F*CK?!? The land is littered with snow! Cars are skidding, roads are chucker-block...i'm like, OH SNAP! The bus we're meant to take isn't anywhere in sight, so we decide to take one to a nearby train station and take the Underground to Victoria....if only it were that easy. The lines are all suspended, so after a 30mins wait, a clear contradiction to the darned board listing the waiting time as '9mins', I hop on the jam-packed train where I'm squashed to the point of suffocation and have to howl "I can't breathe, I need air" to get enough attention to allow room for my head to pop up, and then transfer to Victoria from the next station. At Victoria, I run to my platform to a delayed train, little did I know I'd be walking into a marketplace. The platform was filled with over 250 angry passengers, who were left standing on the platform to a train that refused to open its doors cos there was no driver. Train comes in 45mins later and they all run to the next platform like a sea of ants for a cube of sugar.

Running back and forth from platform to platform like a headless chicken, I decide not to be a member of the flock of sheep and approach a conductor to ask "WHAT THE ACTUAL F*CK?" to which he explains that MY train is about to leave from a platform on the other side of the station, but he'll try his best to hold it for me....WTAF?!?! So here I am, in peeptoe wedges, running across the train station for a train thats gonna leave in 2mins, and will take double the time to get there, as it stops in about a million stops beforehand...BLEURGH!! I hop on the train, unprepared for the ride of my life...train's sparking and screeching...dear Lord, never been so scared! Call my regular cab company 3 stops away from home, only to be told that they REFUSE to drive up to my wretched area cos its all uphill and whatnot...damned country Forest village! I resolve to take a black cab, to my brother's protest and he BBM's me other cab numbers to try, which I do, and book one that claims to get me home but at double the price - I agree, at the back of my mind always thinking I'd just walk out and take a black cab from the station. Oh no...not that night. the queue stretched all the way from the station door to the carpark! I join the queue and wait for my cab at the same time, which thankfully turns up 15mins after (10mins earlier than its estimated 25mins waiting time...good sign). I hop on and we set off, he strikes off 1st route, and on our 2nd route we get stuck up a hill to the point I think I'm gonna be sleeping in a stranger's car. He reverses, and we try route 3...we get stuck up that hill too but he's determined to get me home (after several threats that I'd have to be abandoned by the way-side or walk home from the middle of nowhere) and he gets me to the mainroad leading to my area, before I have to get out and walk out in 6-inch deep snow in peeptoe wedges...oh yeah! In total, it takes me 4 stank hours to get home, in what would normally have taken just over an hour *sigh* NEVER AGAIN!

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! Always follow your instincts or you might find yourself stuck with a stranger for the night in The Sticks. Xisses

Enugu 2011

2012-02-01T21:21:00.000Z

It being the first day of the month and all...I thought it best to suck on a lolly of nostalgia for a brief bit. Plus, I'm seriously playing a losing game with time and I'm struggling to post all this stuff so I can finally be in the present...so here goes.

About a fortnight into my new job, I took 10-day holiday to Nigeria for my cousin's wedding in the East...and let me just say, it was BRILL! I made a handful of new friends & met tons of new family members. And not the ones that are tryna scrounge off you for every nickel you've got either, these were people who were lovely, and friendly, and generous from their own pockets. Never spent a dime of my own money on their turf...loved it! I always make a BFF on every trip & this time *points above* the bestie in question was a lovely lass, cousin of a cousin, bearing a fitting name as well, Angel. We were in the wedding train together as the youngest bridesmaids so we had an instant connection. Also, with me being a tomboy at heart, and she being young at heart and eager for male attention, we spent most of our time jammin' in the guys' room together as the sole female pair. We crashed their palm-wine binging sessions (cat out of the bag...yes NeeNee, it was us that downed the good keg on the 1st night *blush*), FIFA tournaments & lads' nights out to the clubs and 'joints' LOL.

We touched down in Lagos, and were warmly welcomed by no electricity, a broken waterpump and delicious homecooked jollof rice by our house help. We only stayed there for 2 days before jetting off to Enugu, but made fun a priority. Everyone that goes 'back home' understands that its never a holiday, but not this time. We made sure to venture out solo (me & my brother *not pictured*) and interact with the locals....twas SO much fun. I was the talk of my estate by Day 3 with my skater skirts & slender legs. Guys in foreign countries are much more forward than what we're used to in the UK. On our flight to the East, I met the comedian Clint the Drunk (pictured above) and Nkem Owoh when we touched down (but my camera cockblocked my claim to fame).

The wedding was the day after we hit town, and as me & Angel had crashed the guys' room under the impression we were going on a mad bender the night before (we were disappointed as nothing really took off that night but drinking and banter, which was still fun), we ended up kipping at 4am, and were groggily woken up at 6AM!!! 2 hours beauty sleep...IMAJ?? The wedding was a beautiful affair, with a gorgeous theme of fuschia, champagne and teal. The bridesmaid's dresses were floor-length teal gowns, and we had our hair professionally tied up and fastened with gold bands; jewellery and makeup were to your discretion. As you can see, I kept it simple with a flush of the themed colours, but nothing too dramatic. The ceremony itself, was held in the city cathedral, and the reception in an immaculately decorated hotel banquet hall not too far away.

We spent the rest of our time in Enugu trippin' from icecream parlours, 'point & kill' joints, to clubbing and just generally chillin'. I realised in my time there, that I'm a hot freakin' commodity, and came back to London with a renewed flair for adventure and life. I was beaming for like 2 weeks straight (and need to go back to that *forcefully grins*) and that bubbly aura was contagious. I was getting approached far more and it was clear that 'cos I'd altered my attitude towards life, ergo my life had altered. Sometimes it takes a step out of your norm, to truly gauge what your ideal is.

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! Enugu 2011...Reunion Coming Soon! Xisses

BLEURGHair: The Invisible Side Part

2012-01-29T19:18:00.000Z

Hola Bleurgher Boos! I'm SERIOUSLY lagging behind but this was the hairstyle I was rocking three hair-do's ago...but I'm working on a catch-up. The style was intended for my cousin's wedding, which was held in Nigeria (post on my Nigerian Experience coming soon...).

I'd been rocking a bob of several variations, for a while and wanted a longer style that was feminine and accentuated my facial features. I've always LOVED side fringes, but have always struggled to find a good-enough hairdresser to get it JUST right. So who better than me? I'm growing my health-risked natural hair underneath, and wanted to still keep it in a protective style, and after MONTHS of Lolli from LolliHearts selling me the pros of 'invisible parting', I decided to give it a go.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with this technique, you basically braid your entire hair in the pattern of your parting, with no leave-outs. Then you sew in 4/5ths of your weave leaving about an inch in front, where you will either sew/glue in tracks, horizontally towards your face. If that made no sense to you whatsoever? Then you're probably sailing in the same boat as my hairdresser, and I will tell you exactly what I told her (or showed her, after instructing her to take out the mess she had sewn on my head...yeah! I'm a difficult client, get over it)...WATCH YOUTUBE!

I left her with a HUGE smile on my face, and went home to curl the hair into a wavy finish, and trim a side-sweep-fringe for myself. I LOVED this hair...it was full, dark and wispy. The perfect combination. What do you darls think? And are any of you invisible-part addicts? LOL

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! Sweep the fringe with a hair slide, you still can't spot the tracks on an invisible side. Xisses

Scripted Reality

2012-01-22T20:57:00.000Z

Disclaimer: I've already touched on some qualms I have with reality TV shows like Love & HipHop in the past...[click here] for some background.

Currently reading the 2nd installment of Lauren Conrad's LA Candy series, and I'm finding it quite insightful. As a reality TV veteran (having watched all walks of life - genre - from age-old MTV classics like 'NewlyWeds' and 'The Osbournes', to terrestrial TV's saviours like 'XFactor', 'Made in Chelsea', 'TOWIE' & 'Big Brother', to my current faves; the black-stereotype spotlight pieces like 'Braxton Family Values', 'Love & HipHop' and 'Basketball Wives'), I am aware that its not quite as 'real' as they would have us believe.

Reading the LA Candy series is eye-opening. Yes, I was always aware that, quite like wrestling (sorry if I killed anyone's naive belief that WWE wasn't staged), the TV Networks deliberately set-up scenarios for these 'real' individuals to then 'act normal'. Aside from the extent to which producers would go to orchestrate drama for ratings, what I found disturbing, was the level to which these said individuals were willing to stoop for more airtime. Its sick to think they are willing to play obedient lil' puppets for our entertainment.

Head Candy : Primark | Rings : eBay & DorothyPerkins | Necklace : DorothyPerkins

I mean, I can't quite wrap my head around someone as old as my Aunty slurring about loyalty, throwing drinks across the dinner table at her 'friends' or even GOING to a club, talk less of causing a raucous there. Its unreal (pun intended). Needless to say (although her style of writing is a tad lacklustre, and her diction rather basic – buy a thesaurus Lauren Conrad, or right-click on Synonyms in Microsoft Word) Lauren Conrad had me sucked in and blown away from the get-go...ok, I lie, from about 75 pages in LOL.

(Boxing Day Outing with the siblings)

LA Candy touches on the ins & outs of the life of a reality TV star. I mean, it's a great avenue to showcase [non]talents, but at the same time, it opens the floodgates for shame, immaturity and basic life. The protagonist struggles to understand WHY the public are so interested in a regular girl, and perhaps its because of the level to which we can relate to her, or other reality TV stars. The age of pedestalising celebrities has long passed, with all those 'Fabulous Life' MTV shows seeing better days. Now, I think the public are more concerned with how others live their day-to-day lives, except, the big TV dons won't show us that. Instead, they buy out villas, rent tables at the top bars and and splurge thousands on flashing a faux-flambouyant lifestyle, in a bid to woo us to covet.

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! Just like a script, in reality tv, what goes up shall surely come down. Xisses

All That Glitters

2012-01-10T22:32:00.001Z

I fought the urge to write this post, as i felt it was only feeding the ignorance of some idiots, but it just HAD to be done. This is an open letter to all the ign'ant goons that had something to say about 'true beauty' and the 'deception caused by women who wear makeup' after the Beauty By JJ saga. As a twitter/youtube pal of hers, it hurt me to see just how mean people were being over the entire situation. I refuse to dwell on the situation itself, but focus more on reflecting on the nonsensical comments spun by narrow minded misogynists.

Birthday Dress : TFNC

1) Beauty is skin-deep; makeup only enhances it. I got so sick of guys spinning the same fraff about them not caring whats on your face & how we don't need to pile on makeup. In Jennie's 'ramble' video, she made a valid point: "aren't the girls with weaves and makeup the same girls you move to in a club?". TRUTH! All this natural beauty malarkey is dog's bullocks. Girls get dolled up to go on a night-out & guys, respectively, pay attention to the girls that make the most effort and look the best. Its simple after-hours algebra. I am a guy's girl, so I'm speaking from experience, not just going off the smoke thats made me high in my lil bubble; guys sniff out which girl is fine, weed out the 'butter's friend' (usually with the aid of a wing man who distracts her) in the aim of 'pulling' (an English term translating to taking a girl home, hooking up or for the pre-pubescent, getting her number) by the end of the night. FACT! So don't come all Pastor Ashimolowo, acting like makeup is of the devil *kmt*

Birthday Weekend (rather belated update) dinner at Cha Cha Moon, dessert at Candy Cakes and a night out in Market Place club

2) Shadowed Application. I guess the only thing that can really be said is, guys like girls getting all dolled up, they just don't want to witness it all taking place. The truth of the matter is, when a girl like Jennie Jenkins walks the streets, she probably can't walk to the end of the road without turning a few heads. But the uproar is much akin to the reaction your boyfriend will give when sitting on the bed before dinner, watching you apply everything from your MAC foundation to your Sleek contouring and finishing with your Maybelline false lash effect mascara. He will ALWAYS interject with, "babe, you don't need all of that"....BULL! If he saw you without it, he probably wouldn't even BE your boyfriend to begin with. "Sweatpants, hair tied back, chillin' with not makeup on. That's when you' the prettiest, I hope that you don't take it wrong" - Drake. BULL! This is the same Drake thats dated girls from Rihanna to the swivel-chic thats swung down so many metal poles you might as well call her an alloy.

Other Options (clockwise from top left): FCUK; New Look; House of Fraser; TFNC

3) Flip the Script. Now, before some 'real ladies' come on her giving me all that lip, I want to make one thing perfectly clear...I am NOT saying girls who don't wear makeup are ugly. Neither am I saying all guys are shallow (strike that, thats EXACTLY what I'm saying...LOL), but the point I'm trying to make is that makeup is a matter of personal preference. If a girl wants to cake up, rock weave and totter down the street in heels everyday, thats HER prerogative. What I want to turn my attention to, are the guys that felt it their earthly purpose to spread the word on this female 'deception', warning guys to be careful. Like, REALLY?!? Those same guys have probably been rejected one too many times by girls as gorgeous as Jennie, and this is their avenue for revenge. Its sad cos they failed to realise the embarrassment they may have felt from the rejection they may have experienced was on a far smaller scale to that which they caused to the poor girl. At least her flaws can be airbrushed with a kabuki brush, how ugly do YOU look to your peers after subjecting her to vain scrutiny under the illusion that you were enlightening others?

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! All that glitters may not be gold, but spare us 'cos your views fit into an archaic, ignorant mould. Xisses.

Justice for Dessert

2012-01-04T21:30:00.001Z

I'd usually steer well-clear from commenting on viral/controversial issues, but I was moved to air my views after spotting this article by the Barrister I was mini-pupil for 2 years ago. He has written an engaging account of the judicial reasoning behind the verdict for The Guardian. The title of this BLEURGH was aptly chosen for the sole fact that this decision was more than delayed; nearly 19 years too late to be precise.

Blazer & Shirt : Thrifted (Wales) | Jumper & Cardigan : Primark

Cropped Peglegs : Topshop | Tote : DKNY

I was intrigued by the circumstances and decisions made post-trial from my AS Level law days, and when news erupted of two of the 9 suspected men being convicted yesterday, I was more than happy to say I was alive to see this day. As a passionate soul aspiring for a promising future in Human Rights Bar, its moments like this I live for. My joy at the decision is not so much prompted by my racial background or my left-wing political allegiances, but rather, an elementary expression of glee that justice and fairness has finally prevailed.

Rings : Dorothy Perkins | Watch : Guess

Slipper Loafers & Belt : New Look | Necklace : **Belt

This was a hallmark case for many reasons. Not only did it drastically transform the MET Police after the MacPherson Report termed it “institutionally racist”, but it also eradicted the archaic 'double jeopardy' rule which in lay man's terms, means that cases can now be retried under the same court. So even after a defendant has be acquitted of a certain crime, charges can later be brought against the same individual for the same crime on discovery of new, compelling evidence. Stephen Lawrence may have been murdered for no reason, but he surely died for a cause. Amidst the pain his family have endured from years wasted not grieving for their son, but rather, chasing after the killers after several miscarriages of justice; a reassuring wave of satisfaction has been restored to all UK citizens that the law will do all within its power to ensure justice and fairness is delivered in all cases.

I'm not so hung up on the term time they are serving when sentenced, or how long it took for justice to be served, but rather I'm looking at the underlying message here. Stephen's mother persevered and fought for what she believed in, and finally received a just verdict. My mother, through all my trying times would always say "don't relent oh!" and that voice of reason is what I carry with me everywhere. Mrs Lawrence fought for justice for the untimely passing of her dear son, and ended up causing a great impact on more institutions than she was aware were even involved. The potential that exists in each of us is limitless, and barriers on our progress are self-imposed. Its a new year, place no limitation on your dreams and you can be more than conquerors. Impossible is Nothing.

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! Justice, best served hot. Xisses

Goodbye 2011, Hello 2012

2012-01-01T22:23:00.000Z

Happy New Year Bleurgher Boos! I've been so caught up with all the merriments of the festivities that I missed wishing you all a Merry Christmas. Even though the day is only a few hours to the end of its tether, I thought it only right that I haul my arse on here and be a good blogger today....so HAPPY NEW YEAR!! xx

Soundtrack of the Minute - No Regrets : Dappy

I'm a list-connosieur, so I drafted up my New Years' resolution list like a good fortnight ago lol. I split up what I wanted to achieve into segments to form a sort of mind-map. I feel that this will be more effective than setting out general goals like "get fit" or "get closer to God". So my subheadings are: Mind, Body, Spirit, Heart & Social. Now, under each of these, I've been specific on what I want to achieve and how I'm going to go about doing it. I know myself, and I'm a procrastinator by nature, so the best way for me to achieve my goals is to set a realistic target and plan how to go about it. I was asked from a reader in my last BLEURGH (Cobalt, Black & Gold) how I achieved the grades that I did, and as much as it was determination & drive, I also have to credit a great social support system, God & my re-evaluation of my revision plan (setting realistic targets daily). 2011 was great, but I pray 2012 will be even greater. There is so much ahead of each of us that is yet to be achieved, but there's no doubt in my mind, it is attainable.

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! Let's set realistic goals & map out the route we'll take to attain it & much more in 2012. Xisses

Cobalt Blue, Black & Gold

2011-11-21T00:04:00.001Z

Apologies for this rather belated post but as my friend says, “sometimes life just gets in the way of sh*t” LOL. I have so much to say in so little time. But I really am struggling with time management these days. I can never seem to find enough hours in the day to do the things I love like bleurgh, post youtube videos or even watch my favourite shows. Seriously lagging behind on life…but on to the post! This post is dedicated to my three favourite colours. I have ENOUGH items in my wardrobe of these colours its ridique! I thought I'd break down why I like each and their symbolism in my life atm.

Blazer : ASOS | Tank top : H&M | Shorts : Primark

COBALT BLUE – This colour is bright, bold & daring! I have my new favourite ASOS blazer (pictured) in this colour, as well as a newly purchased (and discounted in the sale) pair of Primark peglegs and many many more…I just LOVE it! It represents my carefree character. I was recently thrown in the deep-end when I was made aware that my careless words had gravely affected a very close friend of mine. She was taken aback by a revelation I'd sprung on her on a night-out, causing me to question what MY flaws were. I asked two of the closest people in my life, and they stated much of the same; one of which was my carefree, blasé persona, which sometimes comes across as selfish, but to some may be admirable. I don’t take life too seriously and I LOVE having fun. Cobalt blue is a direct reflection of that as its 'in your face' in a very classy, regal way.

Lovely day out with my sister in Westfield, Stratford City, sipping on some Crispy Creme shakes, munching on some delicious doughnuts & licking on some delectable gellatos.

Turban : Scarf **gift from **Oh Bee from Dubai | Bag : Warehouse

Ray Ban Wayfarers : eBay | Necklace : Bershka (GranCanaria)

Pumps : Ethel Austin (Wales)

BLACK – This represents my much darker side. I have a very sarcastic, British-black sense of humour. I crack crude, lewd jokes and I always take cussing matches too far. I am lethal with a swig of chemical (I LOVE the use of this Nigerian slang for alcohol) and a menace in a club. I am known to some BBM contacts as Lady Nocturnal as I hardly ever get to sleep until the early hours of the morning (in Uni, it was worse and I self-diagnosed myself as suffering from ‘Unisomnia’ LOL). I look the allure of black, a fail-safe colour that can mesh with just about everything in my wardrobe. Just like I have been known to some to get along with just about everyone (even though this was recently called to question when a friend apparently claimed I may have a conflicting personality…hmm).

**Soundtrack of the Minute - Doing It Wrong : Drake ft. Stevie Wonder (Take Care)**

GOLD – This is my most recent & welcomed trait. The glamourous and glitzy element to my personality. I've always been the pampered baby of the house, so I’ve always been smothered with love and attention in my household, but having struggled through adolescence and the trying pre-adult phase of my life through bullies and disappointments, I lost my spark. The loss of my confidence came with low self-esteem, disregard for personal style and the ever-evident need to be accepted. It wasn’t until recently that I found myself. I made a vow in January 2011 to hone in my talents and truly rediscover the extents of my mind (pushing myself from a 3^rd to graduating with a 2.1), hone in my spirit (I feel closer to God than ever with my daily devotionals and the relay of my personal testimonies to non-believers) and carve myself a covetable body (spent much of the earlier ½ of 2011 in the gym 3/4x a week), and I’m more than pleased to testify to 2011 being THE BEST YEAR OF MY LIFE!

Onyxsta says…BLEURGH!! Sparkle your way to the top, and spread love & light like the angel atop a Christmas tree. Xisses

Menswear Mondays: All Done Up

2011-11-20T23:42:00.001Z

I drum on one too many times, about the appeal of a dapper don, a stylish stud, etc etc ...but dare I say there is an extreme that should remain untouched? While reading an amazing book (recommend it guys! If you follow me on Twitter - which is now open - you'd have heard me barking on about how multifarious it is) Mr Maybe by Jane Green, I stumbled upon a question thats probably plagued the minds of most women at least once in their lifetime. The protagonist was faced with the dilemma of choosing a wealthy man that adored her and was willing to bend over backwards to solely provide for her on the condition she become his [house/trophy] wife, over an unemployed writer on the dole whose sexual antennae was so in-tune with hers that she was willing to sacrifice so much of herself to be with him. Ok, maybe we all haven't been faced with such a dilemma *sniggers* but it seems there has been a time in every woman's life where she battles with her conscience at not allowing her head to simmer down, and her heart to fall head over heels in love with a guy that clearly adores her...?

Shirt : Thrifted (Wales) | Cropped Chinos : ZARA

Now, don't get me wrong. Its not like I'm lustfully driven by my carnal desires when deciding on which suitor (yes, I'm talking medieval to take it all back to basics) is most compatible, but there HAS to be some sort of chemistry, be it physical, sexual or emotional. 'Good guys never win'? Oh how guys LOVE to throw that line in a chic's face. But its not so much that good guys never win, as the lack of spark fails to be ignited by their dull, persistent plea for a chance, or their irritating pursuit of some of your time. The on-screen classic has to be Made In Chelsea's Spencer...just back off son, its embarassing. I know some of you are clutching your chests and bidding me to stop, arguing at just how adorable he is, but quite frankly, dude is a pest and needs to give it a rest.

Watch : Guess | Rings (Left) : Dorothy Perkins | Ring (Right) : Matalan

Dr's Bag : Thrifted (Sutton) | Studded Pumps : Urban Outfitters | Belt : Thrifted

The more Spencer pleads for a chance, or seizes an opportunity to convey his worth, or steals a moment to express his undying admiration for her, a tally bar on her perfect 10 checklist is knocked off. Some women are won over, eventually, by his charm, or succumb to basking in the limelight of his sweeping admiration...but most women consider this a turn-off. Having been at the receiving end of a Caggie-like scenario, I can knowledgeably conclude that his efforts will come to no end. And even if they do, its more a pity-party than anything else.

**Soundtrack of the Minute - Take A Shot : Drake (Take Care)**

I urge men not to think of the dating game as a bar of extremes. Its not so much, Good Vs Bad; in fact, its far safer to play your way some place in the middle. Straight-laced, pompous-faced, trudging along with a briefcase (ok, I got a tad carried away with the rhyming lol) will get you nowhere. Yes, women drum on about a dream man with drive, determination, ambition, etc...but leave your personality and charisma sitting on your commute-train and find yourself stranded at Singleville, bidding 'that girl' to PLEASE give you a chance cos you're a good guy.

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! All Done Up without the allure of charisma will only result in a blow at your ego & you in a strop. Xisses

Birthday Suit

2011-11-13T17:59:00.001Z

I turned 22 this week, and as mentioned in the previous post, I was sort of dreading it. For my 20th, my flatmates threw me a surprise party which was pretty damn amazing & for my 21st, I spent the day in Milan with my sister. So for my 22nd...I was adamant nothing should be done as its a dull-double, and not worth a celebration. But, upon weighing up the blessings that'd been bestowed on me in the most fabulous year of my life, I felt ungrateful for thinking it unworthy of anything.

Dress : Allders | Belt : New Look | Brogues : New Look

I started work this week, which will explain why BLEURGH posts have been few & far between but I'm working on a routine that should ensure regular posting, promise. Anyway, I digress...work....so I now work in a Law Firm in the city and this was my first week, so I was in an office on my birthday. Having worked in an office environment all summer in Wales, I had become accustomed to the traditions of the workplace & recognised that grand gestures are widely appreciated by co-workers. I brought in sweets and sent out the cheesiest email to everyone on my floor in the office, tagging myself as "the new girl" LOL. I know...CRINGE! But it seemed to work, and by lunchtime, I was indulging in a fatty lunch, some chocolate cake & my boss treated us to some delicious gourmet baklava.

DKNY Bag : **19th Birthday gift (**8Ballers) | Rings : BHS & Dorothy Perkins

After work, everyone was expecting me to go out on a total bender...but my evening was a complete contrast. I was bombarded with love from all realms of cyberspace from Twitter to Facebook, not sparing technological public displays of affection like changing BBM display pictures or status updates including well wishes. After basking in a full day of love from all angles, I felt it only right to give back, so I volunteered my evening in my a homeless shelter my mother started in my community. I'd spent all my other birthdays fully in the spotlight, so this one was so surreal. It was heart-breaking hearing tales from those that had loved and lost, or had worked so hard, only to stand helpless as the ground they stood on was swept from beneath their feet. How then can I complain that my double-digit birthday was not worth a mention when I had so much to be thankful and grateful for?

**Soundtrack of the Minute - Make Me Proud : Drake ft. Nicki Minaj**

Some may view my day with a screwed up nose and wonder why I Mother Theresa'd out my time instead of going out (which I eventually did over the weekend, but more on that later...) but I saw this day as sacrificial. I was overwhelmed by the love I received that to gift an ounce of it away would still have left me with more than I enough.

Onyxsta says....BLEURGH!! As I mark my 22nd year, I mark the growth of solo BLEURGH into its 2nd year. Xisses

22nd Birthday Wishlist

2011-11-05T11:01:00.000Z

Hi guys, I'm gonna be bidding adieu to the best year of my life on Wednesday and for a long while, I was in mourning and didn't wanna celebrate the coming of another year in my life cos I loved my 21st year SO much! The best things happened to me this year, I graduated, found probably the best friends in my life and had the SICKEST last year of Uni EVER! Also landed placements, travelled abroad (twice) for the first time alone without my parents....and much more. So as I prepare for the next great year of my life, here's the things I've been lusting after and would love as presents to bring in another year.... :)

1. ALDO x Julian Louie Sobelslava wedges! I've been wanting this for a while now and when I set my eyes on them in store, it was utter lust at first sight. It was destined to be in my closet.
2. I am LOVING velvet slipper loafers right about now. Especially the ones with a gold emblem printed on the face. It would be lovely to get the personalised ones with my initials....hey! A lady can dream can't she?
3. Barbour Strattford quilted jacket in navy blue. I love that its lady-like, form-fitting one as I think they're just GORGEOUS! With the corduroy detailing as well, absolutely lush.
4. ~~ZARA plaited shopper bag~~ ~~in black~~. This baby sold out like a high-class whore last season and I was uber-thrilled when it came back in select stores this season. I have a replica link that I'm willing to rape if I don't get this for my birthday, but it'd be lovely to bag the original.
5. ~~Amelia~~ ~~- Kurt Geiger/ Carvela~~ are the safest bets for suede, black platform heels. as are Office cos of my feet sizing (Size 5 btw).
6. Suede, black wedges. This has been on my shopping list for centuries now, and I'm glad to shift the responsibility of this purchase on to a loving friend or family. There are inexpensive pairs in stores like New Look, but its also running rampant in Office.
7. An iPad 2. What? Dream Big people!
8. Marc Jacobs Black & Gold watch. Two of my favourite colours beautifully united in a beaut of a watch. Been lusting after this watch since I spotted it in store and its been in my dreams since. Make my dreams come true, my lovelies!
9. Alexander Wang Rocco Bag. Blame **Toy for having an uber-long convo with the sales lady in Selfridges and allowing me to fully indulge in a love affair with this bag. The supple leather, the gold studding, the distressed look....it was a match-made in heaven! I've seen replicas but they don't compare to the OG!
10. ~~Michael Kors rose gold watch.~~ Yes! That is all!
11. Jeffrey Campbell Lita's in the original black. On every blogger's 'Must Have Lust List', and I'm no exception.

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! Cheers to the 22nd year, here's another great year I shall live to share. Xisses

What's Your Number?

2011-10-29T19:30:00.000+01:00

**DISCLAIMER - This post is NOT PG 13 material!**

Just finished watching 'Whats Your Number' with ~~the usually irritating slapstick-clutz~~ Anna Farris & ~~the yummy yummy in my tummy~~ Chris Evans :) *wolf whistles* Not one for spoiler-alerts, so I'll carefully tread around the predictable plot & just dish on what can be viewed in the trailer (which practically summarises the entire movie). Anna Farris hits rock bottom in her life and reads this article which states that the average woman has 10.5 hook-ups in her lifetime before meeting The One. Obviously, the movie was based around an older protagonist but I can relate. The movie's (and magazines, and the WORLD that isn't frigid) idea of hookups focused solely on sex, but when my friends and I delve into the pits of a 'keeping score' game like this, we tend to waver around the nitty-gritty and stick to 'The Hills' concept of 'hooking up' *coughs*

Blazer : H&M | Body : Primark | Paperbag Peglegs : ASOS

10.5 is average? REALLY?!? I dunno how the rest of you girlies feel (and I'm sure guys reading this may have passed that score long before they left high school) but I think that score is relatively .....ah ah now! *wags fingers cheekily* A lady never tells. Either way, whether you believe the number to be high or low in regards to how much experience a woman carries under her belt before chaining her poom to one guy for eternity, I'd still have to question who has the right to calculate the average?

Heels : Miss Selfridge | Casio Watch : eBay | Rings : Dorothy Perkins & Cousin's | Stud : Dorothy Perkins | Fur Stole (detached from cardigan) : Etam

In a world where morals are flung to the wind and the mention of God only clumsily escapes majority's lips as a form of excitable exclamation (OMG!), I am forced to question where statistics like this are drafted from? Farris in the movie, fears exceeding her 20th hook-up and embarks on a mission to find all her exes and try and work through whatever the issue was initially, rather than have sex with yet another douche, adding to the number. I'll leave you guys to watch and find out whether she succeeds at this or not...but I think the answer to that is pretty obvious.

Exes are exes for a reason. They are a blatant memo, reminding you of what you are no longer attracted to, and the person you no longer are. Numbers? Yes, we live in an ever-judgmental society and its naive to think no-one keeps tabs but I feel like the 'average' is bullsh*t! In life, we make mistakes and learn from them, some learn quicker than others. The same can be translated in the dating world. Some girls (and yes heifers! I envy you!) find their highschool sweethearts, date them all the way through University and marry them just after landing that high-class job in the city firm. Others, trudge through douche after douche, drafting up an endless list of 'The Perfect Man' and then just when they're ready to throw in the towel, out Prince Charming comes to sweep them off their feet when they least expect it. Thats the fairytale. Whats a number on that?

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! Whats Your Number? In fact, who the hell cares? Xisses

Muse Origins Feat. BLEURGH

2011-10-24T18:56:00.001+01:00

It was SUCH an honour to be featured on upcoming e-zine Muse Origins.

The questions challenged me & my perception of style Vs fashion. I feel like fashion (especially if you're a highstreet or fashion magazine fiend) is so fleeting (or 'seasonal' as I stated in the feature), but style is eternal. My style has grown with me, and sometimes I look back and think "WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME I LOOKED LIKE AN ABSOLUTE GOON?!"

Quite honestly, I've always been one of those girls that get asked "what are you wearing?" by a passer-by and I've always relished stating where each item is from as I feel like my wardrobe are little members of my family and all share personal (fond) memories with me. I guess that's why creating BLEURGH seemed like an enjoyable (and natural) hobby to delve into.

I'd definitely blame my parents for being the origin behind my vanity. My father would give annual 'Christmas Funds' when we were little for clothes shopping, dating as far back as when we lived in Nigeria. My parents loved the fact that I had aunties abroad and would use it to my advantage 'cos I could rock pretty dresses that no-one else in class owned. My first memory of being the centre of attention because of my attire was when my Uncle themed his entire wedding train around a peach party dress he'd seen me wear. He took my dress as a sample and had tailors create (pretty bad, in my opinion) orange replicas for the little bridesmaids (needless to say I was the best dressed chic on that train).

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! What are your earliest style memories (or muse origins) and share your take on Fashion Vs. Style below. Xisses

Lolli Day!

2011-10-20T23:38:00.004+01:00

This is actually a belated post...but yesterday was my **8Baller **Lolli's (from LolliHearts) 22nd Birthday. Twenty-two. I know! Its SUCH a meeeeeh age, but one that has to be passed to all the same to move on to greater dates. She had no plans...and by no plans, I mean ZERO! When I called, she was literally moping around at home doing nada, ZILCH then I asked her to pick up her butt and meet me for lunch.

Waistcoat : Republic | Jumper : H&M | Leather Leggings : Bershka

I treated her to a local treat (as we live a walk away from one another), and we spent the afternoon reminiscing and planning ahead, and generally just indulging in the same ol' banter. Its great spending time with friends that you've known a while back, and just to take a step back and realise how much they've grown. I remember the first time I met Lolli, she was sitting in a corner at a family friend's gathering, and didn't utter a word for the entire evening. Such a striking contrast to how we spent the day! Could hardly stick a pipe down this chic's throat to silence her....she was on a ROLL! LOL

Impromptu Lunch at Harversters

LolliDay is a play on words on her actual Nigerian name, but also stands for a really chilled birthday, the kind I'd also love to indulge in, come my 22nd. It was filled with fun, friendship and food...my three favourite f's. I asked her a question myself & my sister ask on our birthdays, "what do you hope to accomplish by your next birthday?" and she narrowed the list down to just one thing, of which she believed once she had sorted, all else would fall in place. I admire Lolli and her sense of direction , no matter how misguided she may believe her path to be.

Hat : Forever 21 | Necklace : Claire's Accesories | Watch : Guess | Wedges : eBay | Rings : Dorothy Perkins & Matalan

LolliDay is so blessed as its also my another **8Baller, **YaaYaa's Birthday as well as Lolli's younger brother from The Taste Level (twins separated by 2 years....freaky!) and I'm so glad to have been selfish enough to share the day with her. She's honestly one of those friends that wont communicate for a century but when we catch up, its like time never passed. Ok...better wrap this up before my balls hang any lower.

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! Indulge in a LolliDay equivalent for your friend's birthday & experience the joy that good friendship has to pay. Xisses

Crazy, Stupid, Love.

2011-10-17T00:52:00.004+01:00

Not since Jake Gyllenhal's character in Love & Other Drugs have I fallen for a character quite like I did Jacob from Crazy, Stupid, Love. Another BLEURGH 'Must-See' but I'm sure 50% of you are like...woman! Late much? Jacob, played by Ryan Gosling (as you guys will remember from my 'Blue Valentine' post), whom I'm infatuated with...completely embodies my perfect man. He is a slick, smooth-talking lothario that frequents the same bar, and never fails to exit with company. His formula, and a recurring theme through-out the movie, is the power of charm on a woman.

Blazer : Thrifted (Croydon) | Fur Stole (detached from old cardigan) : Etam | Top : H&M

Leggings : Bershka

I'm a self-professed Sucker for Love (if you guys are not familiar with that vintage Danity Kane track, I will be VERY upset) and I may be rusty on the topic, but I feel like love is one of those universal emotions that transcends time. The movie pits Cal (played by Steve Carell....and YES! I can't stand the guy but he toned down his slap-stick mannerisms in this movie so he wasn't so bad), and whose lack of sponteneity and outgrowth of romance in his marriage permits brief waywardness of his wife's heart, against Jacob and his nightly conquests. The summary to the naked eye is that women are moved by smaller things and it only takes a fickle compliment to land us in bed. But the underlying message, in my opinion is that love takes work, far more than a throwaway comment about a woman's appearance or ravenous sex. I know my male readers switched off there LOL.

Necklace : Dorothy Perkins | Belt : New Look | Bag : Warehouse | Studded Pumps : Urban Outfitters

Casio Watch : eBay | Leather Bracelets : Souveneirs (Gran Canaria & Scotland)

The movie depicts love in the eyes of three generations. The young teens who are smitten to insanity and driven by their childish whiles to extreme levels of displays of affection. Then there are the 20-somethings (awesomely depicted by my boo, Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone, whom I believe to be my on-screen counterpart) who fall unexpectedly in love, and are ill-equipped for the emotions attached, but find themselves taking each day as it comes and succeeding at it beyond their expectations. And then there's the married/divorced couple who fall in and out of love and prove that passion, spontaneity and self-discovery are all part of love, and enough room for each should be provided for a healthy, loving relationship.

Love can turn your world upside down in more ways than one. Whether it be falling IN love, or falling out and having your heart broken. However, emotionless flings and racking up sexual conquests left, right & centre wont heal the chasm left in your heart, as conveyed in the movie. The embrace of one self, the acceptance that love itself has its flaws, and making a choice to mend those wounds is what enables true love to prevail. Its hard to see movies like this which unequivocally champion the existence of true love without choking you up in cheese, but this movie manages to deliver.

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! "You have to fight for your soulmate" - Crazy, Stupid, Love. Xisses

Menswear Mondays : The Scottish Kilt

2011-10-10T18:00:00.002+01:00

I took a road trip to Scotland last weekend with my siblings for my brother's marathon run in Inverness. We went SO far up North, we were literally in the clouds you see halo-ing the mountains! This is a bit of a quirky post as not many men will nod at the appeal of donning a kilt, but I LOVED spotting the bag-pipers hooting away, briskly strolling across the fields in different coloured kilts. Its near impossible to visit Scotland & not get wrapped up in its culture, so for the purposes of this post, the kilt symbolises a man's embrace of his cultural roots.

Turban (actually a pashmina/scarf) : Market (Manchester?) | Shirt : Blanco (Gran Canaria) | Kilt (actually a Skirt) : Thrifted | Brogues : New Look

Having a lot of guy friends from different parts of the world, I've learned that the most fascinating conversations (...debates....arguments....ok, sometimes it turns into a full-on verbal brawl) are held by those whose roots are deeply embedded in their culture. The wealth of knowledge that's bred with such native awareness is entrancing to most women. Speaking to a few older ladies of late, it seems that we are members of a lost generation. As fortunate as some may view migrants from a 3rd world to a western country, the disadvantage of this is the wash that comes with it. Like the natural springs we spotted along the motorway to Scotland, it seems the purest remains at the source.

However, the dumb few have interpreted having a rich cultural background as being equivalent to thumping one's chest and dismissing the woman to the kitchen *hmph*. Men seem to have forgotten chivalry, courting and all that richness that also trails with having a strong cultural background. Yes, a woman may be impressed when a man chimes out his native culinary dish, but taking it that step further and expecting her to jump at the chance at preparing it, JUST to please a man, is somewhat archaic (in my perspective). Having witnessed one too many tales of female heartbreaks at the clumsiness of 'cultured' men, I am forced to question its appeal. Yes, who isn't attracted to a man with a diverse 'interest' list on his social CV, stretching beyond "jamming to grime in my yard" and whatnot? Its highly comical watching chics who still crawl around waste-men, or entertain sleazy pavement movements...but the contrast to that is somewhat daunting.

My culture's equivalent of a kilt is a wrapper, and its touching visiting the village and spotting elders sporting them. Sadly, Igbo men in the UK are far removed from that, and barely don such attires to big events, talk less of on a casual outing. Unlike other cultures, Igbo is thought to be on the list of Top 10 languages to go extinct in the next 10 years....heartbreaking. As heart-wrenching as the thought of a loss of cultural identity is, I'm somewhat pleased that flushed with it goes the Igbo-man's misogynist perspective. What would be great would be a marriage of the two. Quite like the kilt is paired with contemporary shirts on the top-half, I'd love to see more men with a mix of Igbo cultural heritage and an embrace of modern Western life.

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! Disregard of cultural heritage is plagued by guilt, so time to embrace your roots with your equivalent of a kilt. Xisses

In Colourful Company

2011-10-07T18:14:00.000+01:00

As the world bids adieu to another great this year, I thought it only right to pay homage to the mastermind behind the world's most colourful company. As a great fan of Apple products (Owning a Macbook, 3rd Generation iPod Nano & iPhone4...looking to purchase the iPad soon too), I was moved by what the late Steve Jobs achieved in the 56years of his life.

Blazer : Thrifted | Top : Allders | Neck Candy : TK Maxx | Belt & Trousers : ZARA

Bag : Warehouse | Pumps : Urban Outfitters

I love colours and the vibe it exudes on a monochrome outfit, adding that extra bit of pizzazz to the mix. The same was thought of those original quirky iMacs (with the HUGE bums?) with the rainbow colourful backs. Such a breath of fresh air from the boring off-white Compaqs and whatnots flooding the market. Steve Jobs constantly thought outside the box (don't worry guys...I'm not going for gold in a bid to write his autobiography, my point is soon to hit home), pushing the boundaries of eclectic technology. And when even HE could see that he was reaching the end of his tether, he willingly resigned. Point? A truly wise man knows when to call on the help of his team.

Things don't always work out in exactly the way you plan them....even when you set out plans, goals and psych yourself up to the point you worry whether you'd secretly inhaled some e-tablets in your sleep. However, this doesn't grant you an all-access pass to the world of self-pity, instead it prompts you to keep pushing the boundaries. At one point, Steve Jobs lost BILLIONS in a year alone, yet he passed away OWNING those billions and more. In the wise words of my brother, Dr. Obi"Stay Hungry, Don't Settle". Jobs didn't wallow in self-pity, and drown his sorrows in binge-eating, retail therapy OR indulge in a frivolour lifestyle (well, to my knowledge...), instead he reinvented the brand, with the net-worth of Apple totalling to that of an entire continent! CRAZY right?

My point is, Jobs' Apple achievements were not a solo-venture. Donning coloured trousers on a lunch date with my bestie & ex-roommate hoping to spice up my dull outfit, didn't quite achieve the results I'd hoped for. However, it wasn't until I caught sight of HER coloured jeans that my mood was lifted. Sometimes, it takes an external effort to really make a difference. Jobs spoke of owning the "courage to follow your heart and intuition", but having lived a selfish life for a year (remember "2010 is me!"? Oh dear!), you learn that simply following your own voice tends to sound like an echo, and may not actually be intuition, but rather your foolishness drowning your reasoning.

This post is dedicated to all my lovely followers who read, follow and Bleurgh back at me occasionally. You guys really brighten up my day. x

Soundtrack of the Minute - No Church in the Wild : Jay Z & Kanye West (Watch The Throne)

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! Misery needs company, but thats counterproductive if the company is a contrast to your melancholy. Xisses

Strutting in Stratford

2011-09-27T18:09:00.000+01:00

Missed the manic stampede that took place at Westfield, Stratford City in its opening week, but decided to pay it a visit nonetheless. Was escorted there by my **8Baller, **Lolli from LolliHearts, and we embarked on our retail journey with the soul purpose to shop until we dropped. However, we were surprised upon exit that evening, that we left with only a couple (literally had only TWO bags in my hand) of bags in tow.

Crochet Top : Topshop | Top (layered underneath) : Primark | Belt : ZARA | Shorts : New Look

I'm a self-professed shoppaholic, and can rummage to find a gem in the dessert....but Westfield S.C left me feeling BLEURGH! I'd been to WestEnd and left feeling the same way as well, which got me thinking "Am I losing my flair for retail?" This underwhelming feeling didn't stop just at my shopping experience, but was slowly beginning to translate into my everyday wardrobe, and general attitude to life and job-hunting. I was losing my passion for creativity and was beginning to don replica attires! I guess I could pinpoint this feeling to my current 'unemployed' status, and feeling drab about which direction to go, career wise....but I want to flush this negativity right out.

Bag : Clarks | Suede Brogues : New Look | Bracelets : H&M + **James' | Rings : Dorothy Perkins + **Charmz's | Casio Watch : eBay

Positive thinking breeds positive outcomes. When you put make-up on and make an active effort to beautify your face, you feel prettier and stand with your head held high. (Disclaimer: DO NOT jump on the bandwagon and yell that makeup isn't necessary to making a woman beautiful, I know that!) Or when you iron your shirt and prep before an interview, you walk in through the door feeling more confident than if you rushed to pick an outfit in the morning, and mistakenly grabbed your uncomfortable shoes on your way out. Its simple arithmetics.

Indulging in Malaysian dinner at Jom Makan, definitely recommend this restaurant....AMAZING FOOD!

Whether your wardrobe is crying out for a Gok-Makeover, or your love life is pleading for a crash course in speed-dating, everyone needs a 'pick-me-up' from time-to-time. As retail no longer rocks my socks to the level that it used to, and the monotony of traipsing from one blog to another has lost its zest, I find myself looking elsewhere for inspiration. I'd always been reserved when it comes to my personal plight, but lately, I discovered the true joy behind the addage "a problem shared, is a problem halved". In my experience, asking for help and inspiration from others has proved quite problematic. But in retrospect, thats probably because i was turning to the wrong person about the right subjects.

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! Just like shopping or blog-hopping, your career path and general life needs relevant inspiration too, to get it popping. Xisses

BLEURGHair:The Nicki Bob

2011-09-22T20:57:00.002+01:00

Hola Bleurgher Boos! As you can see from the title, here's another BLEURGHair instalment! Its actually 2 weeks late but hey...I've been a very busy girl.

I wanted a longer style but I LOVE how short hair frames my face (If you suffer temporary amnesia or you're a new follower, here's pics of my shorter BLEURGHair styles; The Mushroom Cut & The Estelle Side Sweep), so I wasn't quite ready to part with it just yet. So I thought I'd go for a bob instead; best of both worlds.

The first image that popped in my mind was Nicki Minaj & I immediately took to the internet for inspiration (as per usual). And no, not the platinum blonde Mama-ish wig she rocks of late, but the look she was rocking the hell out of when she first burst on the scene. I hadn't tried a fully inverted bob before and was SO excited to give it a try! But with the obstacle of the Retro Rihanna Shave taking its sweet, holy time to grow out, I could still only work on the top part of my hair.

I instilled the help of my sister, who used the same technique as my previous 2 BLEURGHairs. A circular braid pattern, consisting of about 3 tracks on each side and a central line. Then I doubled the wefts to sew, ending with a straight-line closure rather than a circular-full closure. I then cut my hair using scissors only, using my fingers to guide the desired length and....VOILA! I LOVE IT!!

Do you guys? Tell me what you think in the Comments Bar below...x

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! Feeling like the newest member of Anna Wintour's mob, rocking this ever-so-stylish Nicki Bob. Xisses

Moving...Back?

2011-09-15T16:41:00.002+01:00

The decision to move back to London was terrifying, and I'd put off bidding adieu to life up North for months now. First, I timed my mini-pupillage for AFTER graduation, ensuring I'd still be living my free-Uni life past its sell-by date. And then securing a role in a reputable firm in Wales, and working and living with my sister even further up North. But it all dawned on me at the office one day....is this it? I was a graduate, working in a role that (yes, was designed for graduates) wasn't challenging my mental capacity. I grew up knowing I'd be great someday, and to succumb to my laziness like that was disappointing.

Blazer : Thrifted (Wales) | Top : Primark | Highwaisted Denim Shorts : B.I.Y (tutorial on how to make your own available HERE)

So I kindly declined the opportunity to extend my contract for a further few months (one of THE hardest decisions I've had to make!), sacrificing job security for my passion, packed my bags and moved home. I'd decided to take a year out from studies to really find myself, get connected & liaise, travel perhaps & SAVE (most importantly) for my BPTC next year. But reading article after article about the declining employment levels in the UK for graduates, and the nightmare of most graduates just settling into any paying role scared me to a wake-up call!

Conversing with my **Wammie, **Lexie yesterday, I was jolted by my harsh reality check. Was I a 'waste gash'? I had no job, no active/ current philanthropic pursuits under my belt...nada. I wake up daily to breakfast on the table, slum through my day and round it up with a hearty dinner before bed....BUM! I'm the kind of girl that liked to keep busy, and honestly, even on my off days, it was still jam-packed with itty-bitty activities on my to-do-list. So what happens now?

I sat down last night & (remember the infamous words of my mother?) re-evaluated my life. Thought I'd share that list with you guys, incase you're also in need of a jolt up the backside to get going.

1. What have you accomplished thus far?
(you can split this up into sections ie academically, spiritually, philanthropic, career...etc)
2. What are you currently doing daily?
3. Where do you want to be a year from now?
4. How can you achieve that?
(Draft up a plan for the next few days, months...etc to ensure you keep an active check on whether you are doing the things you need to do to achieve that goal)
5. Don't be afraid to ask for assistance where necessary

P.S. I just got back in from my 'village', where I was served by this lovely old lady at the thrift store who took an interest in my life & blessed me. She claimed she knew I'd 'be' somebody someday, and she'd smile down on me from up there when I am. Jokingly, she teased for me not to let this 'year out' fly by without getting back on the horse and riding to my true destiny. Eerily coincidental or what? (Also helps that she gave me a discount LOL)

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! Don't sacrifice your big dreams you've spent your life creating, all for a quick chance at paper chasing. Xisses

Menswear Mondays: The Short Suit

2011-09-12T17:07:00.001+01:00

This look was inspired by Kourtney Kardashian but the shorts suit itself stands as a metaphor for a man with a short fuse. I've heard this line molested by men one too many times; "I have anger management issues"...no dude! You don't look fly proclaiming that to the world so lets nip that in the bud.

Blazer & Silk Shirt : Thrifted (Wales) | Shorts : Matalan

We live in an evolving society where the archaic stereotypes of men as emotionless robots is being eradicated and replaced by metrosexual substitutes. Men are opening up more on social media networks or stylistically/therapeutically blogging, opening up a gateway of understanding into their psyche for females. Along with the perks of this newly opened avenue of understanding, comes the short fuses.

Tie : **Brother's (Burton) | Belt : Primark | Satchel : Oasis | Brogues : New Look

When boys were younger, it was cute to throw a tantrum now and again. It got even hotter for your street-cred getting in fights or being sent out of class when you got to High School....but as a man? Patience truly IS a virtue. Women are reckless with emotions, throwing hurtful words in the air in a fit of rage. Now, as mentioned in previous Menswear Mondays' posts, we live in a world ridden with gender bias, so pardon me for flipping the script completely for the opposite gender...but men need to learn that at any age past getting those GCSE grades, its wiser for you to hone in that temper and upgrade your demeanour. Girls talk! We all know that....so when this dude (that me & my girlies are familiar with) started his termly menstrual cycle, and was throwing b*tch fits left, right & centre....best believe girls started parting like the red sea upon his arrival. Its just NOT a good look. No girl wants to take the risk of being the RiRi to your Breezy flip-out.

I was beyond disgusted at the finale of Basketball Wives Season 3 when Eric Williams retaliated by throwing water *splash* at Jennifer's face. Like, really? I feel like, yes, what Jennifer did was immature and a cheap shot....but for him to degrade himself on national television like that? WHACK! He came out looking like a bigger loser because gentlemen aren't supposed to lose their temper like that [publicly]....PERIOD! A gentleman should still carry himself with enough class to manage his temper publicly. Its a shame that some women carry themselves with ladette distaste, but the age of the gentleman (in my opinion) is not dead.

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! Lengthen the patience of a man's short fuse & watch him transform to a woman's 'perfect man' muse. Xisses

The Inbetweeners

2011-09-08T16:50:00.001+01:00

Went on a girlie evening out to the cinema with my sister to watch 'The InBetweeners' movie and OMG! It is HILARIOUS! I loved the show on TV (actually stumbled across the pilot, late one night & was hooked since...honestly believe I was one of the 1st people to watch it, and not just claiming that), and the movie is just as funny! Gotta go and watch it guys....its a MUST SEE!

Blazer : **Sister's | Cardigan : Primark (Menswear) | Top : Ethel Austin | Belt : New Look (detached from shorts) | Leather Leggings : Bershka

Hollywood have failed to depict the 'inbetweener'-like girls in the world, on screen. We've seen movies like the Ocean's franchise, Hangover, and now The Inbetweeners, but no such equivalent for females. It seems when females are gathered on set, all we are reflected to discuss are fickle topics, and not to forget....BOYS! Women are never seen to let their guard down, unless its a liberating sexual adventure that always bears reckless consequences. I want to see more women WINNING on the big screen, without the use of their feminine whiles to their advantage. When I went on a girlie holiday with my girlies to GC, it was quite like the movie...carefree fun!

I've always lived life under the mantra that 'normality is overrated'....well, I say 'always', but quite rightly, that level of self-acceptance only came with maturity and growth. I've never conformed to the 'usual', and got quite tired of living within the box from a very young age. Some girls are confined by labels, whether it be dominating the guys at lunchtime football and being labelled a 'tomboy', or prancing around in kiddie-heels across the play-park. I dunno what it was, but those titles never quite appealed to me. Quite like the original Jigga collaboration album (with Rkelly? That was my jam back in the di-day!), I've always enjoyed living the 'Best of Both Worlds'.

The Inbetweeners are an awkward bunch, but in their lil clique, they are indestructable. Bullies may try to wedgie away their pride, and girls may aim to publicly emasculate them, but in the end, they came out WINNING! Again....normality is overrated! I've always been a girl to run around in my gang of numbers, claiming to run the world far before Beyonce released that dead track. The movie reminded me all too much of my time in several educational institutes, from primary all the way through to University, and the friendships I formed along the way. These guys honestly had fun wherever, and in whatever circumstances, and I think thats how every friendship should be regardless of gender. Shave away all the ball-less moments bawling our eyes out at douches trodding on a heart or two; my true friendships and moments were carved out from the most unexpected circumstances and its always great knowing you shared that with someone else.

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! Dare to stand in-between socially constructed norms & break the barriers of defined femininity in all its forms. Xisses

Healthy Hauling

2011-09-01T21:42:00.000+01:00

I joined the YouTube community just 6 months ago, as an extension of BLEURGH. I was in awe of so many young girls (some of which were my age, and others even younger), who had acquired followers quantifying to more than mere thousands, just from expressing their interests on camera. Which is why I was infuriated this morning when I read this clearly biased Daily Mail article where they scapegoated a few young youtubers & ridiculed what young girls have come to deem a recreative hobby.

Blazer : Apricot (Croydon) | Tanktop : Primark (Lingerie) | Tailored Peglegs : Warehouse

One reason I pinpointed as the basis of this article was ENVY - Youtubers have an advantage over some academic writers/ journalists, who may have toiled endlessly in what they deem a learned craft. Youtubers now rob opportunities because they have captured a particular target market and have created a brand. A brand which companies want to be affiliated with. What may have started off as a hobby to some, turns into a profitable entrepreneurial venture, where companies send products for review, your 'friends' or 'subscribers' constantly bid you to make more videos on a particular topic, or you are itching at the number of likes, comments or views a particular video receives daily.

Purse : Calvin Klien | Rings : Bonita's (Croydon) & Matalan | Wedges : Primark

Now this may seem to some as an unhealthy 'hobby', wavering more towards the category of a 9-5 job. However, to take this away from young girls under claims that it is 'unhealthy' just drove me livid. Yes, one could be wary of the negative effects rude comments have on innocent young girls' self-esteem, but in my opinion, bullying is bound to occur whether via the internet or in reality. Girls who honestly only intend to share their latest purchases with the world, may be mocked by those who genuinely have no interest watching their videos in the first place, but does that mean it has no standing as a hobby? The journalist expressed mock-fear at the effects Youtube-hauling had on the younger generation. The danger from disclosing such sensitive information like the area one resides and the stores they frequent, may attract paedophiles and perverts, but that is where I draw the line.

One could have those same fears for a boy who independently takes the initiative to join his local football team, and is driven to away games by a 'trustworthy' ~~stranger~~ coach. Or jogs on the pitch with his brand new Nike football boots with sparkling new silver studs, 'showing off' to his peers. Is it any different purely due to gender, or the means of expression of materialism? This article, in my mind, is absolute pants, and enrages me! How dare he sit there and mock the girls who gleefully chose to term this their hobby? He is just as mean as any cyber bully sitting behind their keyboard, typing negative comments and disliking videos, its just he was smart enough to incorporate cynicism and rhetoric.

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! Haul away my fellow youtubers, fear not the spineless filth spat out by a pitiful daily mailer. Xisses

The Company You Keep

2011-08-30T21:25:00.001+01:00

I struggled for a WHILE to trust myself in my own company. I feel that some women are threatened by the thought of being alone, and for a long while, I feared that also. When I was down & out, I didn't want to see my shadow roaming the walls in solitude, or see my cold wintery breath wafting towards the ceiling of my isolated room, without turning to the side and seeing another's do the same. But slowly (and it was quite scary tbh), I got over that hurdle and I'm a much stronger woman now because of it. Quite honestly, I'm at a point where sometimes I loathe the burden of company, and relish my Me-Time.

Scarf : Charity Shop (Selsdon) | Sheer Shirt : Thrifted (Wales) | Bag : DKNY (gift from **8Ballers)

Leather Skirt : H&M | Brogues : Deichmann

At your lowest, I don't expect you to understand my love for solo-walks along the beach and how much more I love darting in and out of stores, trying things on without the pressure of doling out style tips to whomever may be accompanying me. Don't get me wrong, I adore spending quality time with my girlfriends, but its a breath of fresh air to be in a totally different place, trying new things and feeling 100% comfortable in your own skin. I like indulging in treats by myself, and have no shame expressing my opinions and bearing the consequences of impoliticly correct utterances. WHY? Because i have learned to love me for me.

My mum would advice us growing up, to take a minute out of life to 're-evaluate yourself'. That sentence used to grate me like hell, but they are truly words of wisdom. Some (like myself in the past) are so wrapped up in social bubbles and cushions of acquaintances, that they lose sight of who they are and have no foresight into who they are becoming. Occasionally luxuriating in some me-time isn't sad, but allows you to truly appreciate yourself, celebrate your strengths and work on your weaknesses.

**Soundtrack of the Minute - I Miss You : Beyonce**

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! Its is of paramount importance to express love for oneself & not hold it as subordinate to another on an emotional shelf. Xisses