(This is a re-post from another blog I had. I share it with you today as I scurry off to the mountains and cold of Colorado to spend Thanksgiving with dear friends. May you have a marvelously abundant and joyful Thanksgiving holiday! Thanks for being a reader. )

Lately I have been pondering, and sitting with, the question of “How can I add value to your life?”. Your being the collective your; all those around me, all those I touch, have contact with, and intersect with in various ways.

As we approach the Thanksgiving holiday, a time when we naturally take stock of all the things we have to be joyfully grateful for, it’s a bit of an interesting twist. As I list my mountains of abundance that I am so thankful for, I also get to consider all the ways that I might be able to positively impact another’s life.

How can I add value to your life? Depending on who I ask will certainly influence the answer. Actually, it is not even imperative that I really ask the other person, it is a question I can ask of myself about another person. “How can I add value to so&so’s life?”.

It occurs to me, that unless those I am asking really know who I am, they may not be aware of how I may add value to their life. If, for instance, the person I asked did not know that I am a Life Coach, they wouldn’t know that I might support them in gaining clarity or in creating balance in their lives. If they know I am a Life Coach, they may not understand that my focus is on Whole Health and Wellness, especially within relationships, and that my passion is in helping others to gain a sense of complete healthiness in all aspects of their life. If they are needing respite and renewal, and didn’t know I facilitate custom designed retreats for individuals and groups, they wouldn’t know I could help them step out of their usual lives and into a safe place of stillness where their authentic voice could really be heard. Likewise, if one was unaware of my community building experience, or organizational skills, networking prowess, or love for collaborative ventures, how would they know to ask?

As we consider the possibility of adding value to lives of others, in ways that they will be thankful for, while we count our own blessings, it seems important that we let others know who we are!!

But first, we must ask ourselves…how do I value myself? In what ways can I add value to my own life? What aspects of myself do I believe adds value to the lives of others? Believing in ourselves and trusting that we have something of value to contribute to the world at large, and knowing what that is, is as important as wanting to make a positive impact.

Sometimes we are not always able to connect to our intrinsic value and positive contribution to the world. Hopefully, this is when our friends and loved ones take notice, and ask us how they can add value to our lives! And then, we get to count our blessings and have give thanks and the circle continues.

Today, I am grateful for many, many things, and I ask: how can I add value to your life?

Technorati Tags: adding value, Bliss101, Coach Margie Scott, friends, gratitude, ideas for living well, life celebrations, relationships, Thanksgiving

ALisa says, ”

“The Red Tent Temple Movement is a way for women to gather our inner momentum, that feeling like the time is now, and to authentically come forward with everything we are as women. It gives us a place to incubate, dream, slow down, without an agenda or plan. It is a woman space where we can share stories, laughter, songs, food and honor our unique feminine cycles that we experience each month, whether we are in our bleeding time or going through peri-menopause and menopause. The Temple provides a way that is more consistent with our actual rhythms, cycles and ways of being in relationship to each other that support, foster and give us strength and courage.

It is time. The women are ready to co-create a vision in the societies we live in and make a place among us where women are honored by honoring our own unique journeys of womanhood. Join us in a revolutionary act. It is more than a woman’s circle. It is a deep learning process of unlearning the busy and finding the moment.

Inside the Red Tents we give ourselves time to remember who we are at our very core, while honoring that to remember we must turn from our identities and roles towards the innermost temple of our own hearts. Come into the Red Tent and stop. In the quiet and sometimes celebratory company of wonderful women, feel. In what you feel, there is much that is waiting for you.”

I am pleased, and happy, about bringing a Red Tent Temple to my local community of Bisbee, AZ. It’s important. It’s time. Womyn need a place to come together, to gather, to reconnect. We live in such crazy times, and our ancient ways of womynhood and divine feminine experiences are getting lost. As we struggle to fit into the boxes of societies demands and our various roles, the essence of our authentic spirit cries out to be heard and attended to. Come to the Temple. Relax. Unwind. Be nurtured by other womyn. Share stories and wisdom. This is how we create, design, and maintain sustainable relationships in our lives. Reconnect to your spirit, your story, your dreams, your purpose. Laugh, Dance and Play. The time is now.

My heart sings in the anticipation of being in your presence inside The BisbeeRed Tent and/or of visiting your Tent wherever you are. Join the movement. Erect a Red Tent in your community.

(The Red Tent of Bisbee, AZ will be starting Dec 15th. Connect with Coach Margie for more information)

Technorati Tags: ALisa Starkweather, Bliss101, Coach Margie Scott, divine feminine, empowerment, happiness, ideas for living well, life celebrations, Red Tent Temple Movement, relationships, retreat, sustainable relationships

Recently I found a wonderful piece of poetry, in an old “We-Moon” dayplanner, that I glued into my journal because of it’s perfection with regards to my process. What I have realized, as the seasons change and I come out of this Summer, is that the most important and wise thing I did through it all was to practice radical self care above and beyond any other concern. As I allowed myself to grieve my losses, and cry with the pain, or scream with the agony, and rage with upheaval of it all, I was facilitating a healing process. Had I ignored or denied what my experience was, it only would have come back to haunt me in the future.

This is true for our planet as well. The longer we deny and ignore the undeniable problems we are being confronted with, such as radical climate change, the larger the problem will become. If we accept what is, and set about changing it, then there is some prayer and hope that we just might heal things. In the process we also need to grieve our losses, rage with the absurdity of it all, and shed the tears of despair that rise from the depths of our spirit souls. Arne Naas calls this our Deep Ecology. It’s the place were we realize that we and Earth are one, and in caring for ourselves we care for the planet, and vica-versa.

The poem in the We-Moon calendar (http://www.wemoon.ws/), by Mary Steel, is called Self Ecology, and it speaks to the same thing.

Self Ecology

Without reverence for my
ecological self
without my own inner balance
where I find poise between
the skies of my ambitions
and the requisites of my earthly state
I cannot be that warrior

Without the quiet place reached
in grace and thanksgiving skywards
while the daily needs of my body
her bones, her flesh
draw me earthwards
I cannot engage in planetary survival

Without opening the portals
cosmological to base
in my own energy systems
I cannot go forth
and open the portals
for survival
of our planetary systems

And without standing aside to
watch in peace
the quiet flow of the energy
in my body
and the soft waterfalls of my mind
I cannot be that warrior.

Practicing Self Ecology is a radical act of planetary health care. For, when we understand our own micro-systems and bio-regions and changing seasons, we can better relate to, and want to protect, the natural environment around us.

Here, at Bliss101, we encourage the design of sustainable lives, relationships and environments. Self Ecology/Deep Ecology is a primary cornerstone of the philosophy that motivates and drives my engagement with, and support of, my clients. I invite you to join us on this journey as we move into this critical time on this planet. In the meantime, take good care of yourselves!

Technorati Tags: Arne Naas, Bliss101, Coach Margie Scott, Deep Ecology, grief, healing, health care, ideas for living well, planetary healing, self care, Self Ecology, sustainability, sustainable relationships, We-Moon

While there are a lot of things out there to be concerned about, and it is important to stay informed, we do not need to let any of it determine how we show up each day, nor do we need to let any of it ruin our individual bliss. We can lose material possessions, jobs and bank rolls, even relationships, but we don’t have to lose our spirit, our passion, our compassion, our connections with others or our spiritual path.
Knowing the core fundamentals that keep us inspired, hopeful, on track and present to each moment are touchstones to which we can return.

Take a moment to jot down 3-4 items, small catch phrases or affirmations, that provide a foundation for you. You may find, as I did, that you will re-access certain ideas or ways of being so that you can navigate more easily-this is the idea! Allow for these fundamental elements to flow forth from your authentic center-there are no should’s or have to’s here, only a desire to be more connected to the essence of your “Living Bliss”, whatever that is for you.

Here are my 4 core fundamentals that I am currently working with:

* Live with passion and joy
* Trust the process
* Be authentic
* Put yourself out there

What are some of your core fundamentals that can keep you happy and a float these days? I would love to hear what’s working for you.

Technorati Tags: Bliss101, Coach Margie Scott, happiness, ideas for living well, perspectives, self evaluation, touchstones

The fun piece is that you only have to stay with your projects if they feel good! If you begin to feel distracted, tired, annoyed, angry, or overwhelmed this is a clear sign that it’s time to move onto something else that needs your attention. Do whatever you are in the mood for, rather than forcing yourself to complete, or continue to do, something that no longer feels good.

As soon as you feel stuck, stop! You will notice all your justifications and excuses about why you “need” to stay where you are-this has to get done, I’m already behind, etc, etc-start to come up. However, what I have learned is that the longer you try to keep doing something when you no longer have the energy for it, the less you actually get accomplished. By jumping to another skill set, you free your energy, allow the skill set you have been working with to rest, and, this is the most important part, you stop trying to swim upstream!!

Here are some benefits of making the switch:

• less overwhelm
• avoid burnout
• more energy
• accomplish more
• experience more joy
• creativity excels
• everything eventually gets attended to
• less stress

The more I play around with this method in tackling my To-Do list, the more fun I am having! I’ve started to experiment with the various skill sets, to see how I can apply them in different ways. For instance, in the past if I was working on developing a project vision, I might sit down with a pen and pad and write it out. Recently I tried painting and collaging instead to think it out, and got wonderful results. Combining dancing with housework is a real blast, making a ho-hum chore a hysterical occasion-especially if someone finds you dancing with your broom!

Give it a try. Step outside the boxes. The whole idea is to make the things we need, or want to do, fun and enjoyable. There is absolutely no reason all that exists on the never ending To-Do list has to be a drag!! (Read that line again if you have to.)

Let’s have fun. Let’s play. Let us honor the flow and rhythms of our bodies, minds and spirits while building up our muscles in all the skill sets.  Scatter yourself all around, planting seeds into everything you do, or like the hummingbird drinking nectar from all the various flowers. Watch how the joy returns to your process, tasks become more fun, and you become less stressed.

Now that sounds like a project worth engaging in, yes?

(Read Part 1 here)

Technorati Tags: bliss, Bliss101, Coach Margie Scott, empowerment, fun, game, getting things done, ideas for living well, positive energy, projects, stress reduction, to-do lists

(Part 1 of a 2 part series)

Here is my basic premise: There are always things to get done. We orient our lives around a perpetual to-do list. Everything from paying the bills, feeding the kids, building our business, mowing the lawn, getting exercise, socializing, defining our purpose, attending our relationships, and everything in between. Our To-Do lists can provide structure and order, or they can provide us with a never ending sense of guilt about what we are not doing and accomplishing. We create lists to stay on track, to not forget, to stay connected to our vision, and to define priorities.

But what happens when our lists become a mile long and we really aren’t getting anything on them done?What is the message here? Why are we able to do some things, and not others? Are the items on it really that important? Are they not in alignment with our values so we ignore them , hoping they will go away? Is there no juice, passion, or motivation in the tasks? Are they there out of some sense of obligation, should, or have to?? Or is there some other element at play here?

A bit ago I did some of my own personal exploration around my pattern of doing things and attention to my own To-Do list. Working with the above basic premise, my inquiry led me to a methodology that I have adopted and is working really well for me. As you read I ask you to consider these ideas for yourself, to give them a try, and then to get back to me with some feedback. How did it work for you? What am I missing? What did you notice about yourself as you integrated these ideas and changed your relationship with your To-Do  list? My hope is to develop this into a workable program that will support individuals and groups move into a more enjoyable experience with the tasks of their lives, to find a way to make it a fun game worth playing, and from that place to get dynamic results where everything gets done with lots of time left over for the really important things in their lives.

The secondary premise, after there is always things to get done, is that all of these things require various degrees of our cognitive, creative, intellectual, physical, mental, emotional, and even spiritual, skills and attention. For instance, mowing the lawn requires our physical ability, but not so much of our creative or mental skill. Building our business might engage our creative and emotional skills, as well as our intellect, with each element being required in various degrees depending on the task at hand. When we recognize this and allow ourselves to do the tasks that best feed the skill center we seem to be in at the moment, I am discovering, we can get more done, and our sense of passion and joy increases as well.

Here are the problems-being scattered, getting distracted easily, lack of focus, lack of completion, being stuck or bogged down, no energy, brain fog-any of these sounding familiar? Actually, these are not problems! They are signs that you are not utilizing the appropriate skill set!! It’s an opportunity to check in with yourself and see what you need. Working on a creative project and feeling stuck? Maybe it is time to stop, get up and go get your exercise for the day. Allow the creative energy to be moved, so that it can come forth. Guaranteed, when you go back to your project, you will have new ideas and the creativity will be flowing again.And, you will have gotten your exercise.

Because there are so many things to do, if we stop trying to force ourselves to get one thing done when it’s not working, and instead let it go and attend to something else that is more in alignment with what our body, soul, and spirit is calling for in that moment, eventually, we will get everything done. We work in a more cyclic, creative flow, rather than a dogmatic, linear way. Sounds way more fun and bliss inducing to me.

Stay tuned for more ideas on my new Getting Things Done methodology, including tips on how to integrate these ideas, and the benefits of making the switch. In the meantime, try this idea on for size, and tell me what you think.

Technorati Tags: achieving goals, bliss, Bliss101, Coach Margie Scott, empowerment, fun, game, getting things done, happiness, positive energy, stress reduction, sustainable business environment, to-do lists

In my community there is one burly, gregarious, happy hugger of a man, who every time I see him my body goes into a little happy dance, because it knows we’re going to get not only a fabulous hug, but a very sweet little spinal adjustment as well. It’s marvelous, and limits my need to visit the chiropractor, thereby keeping precious dollars in my pocket (always a plus these days!) So, when I saw him last week my receptivity to his hug invitation was no different. Unfortunately, his hug was! Somehow, someway, something went very wrong, and in the process of our hugging one of my ribs got cracked!! As I said, who knew the power of hugging. Ouch!

One thing I have definitely been continuously reminded of this Summer, is that pain brings awareness. Suddenly, in the days that followed, I was so focused on my core-how I moved it, the ways I stretch it, where it’s weak, and how much I depend on it. This was the power of the hug-bringing me back to my core, to my center, and into the awareness of her necessary healing, and I don’t just mean on a physical level. Wow!

In no way will this experience stop me from hugging! For me hugging is a simple, easy, harmless (well, most of the time!) way of counteracting the touch deprivation so prevalent in our culture these days. Touch is healing. Touch connects us. Hugging let’s us know we are loved.

How do you hug? Are you a tent hugger, keeping the lower half of your body extended away from the other person? A one sided hugger, where your hips are touching rather than a full frontal connection? A one arm hugger, never fully committing to the hug? A back slapping hugger? Do you relax into the hug, or stiffen and feel tense? Do you hug with clean, clear intent, or attempt to cop a feel? Is there a hidden agenda, or just the desire to embrace this being before you with love and yummy-ness?

Check out this great video, if you haven’t seen it yet, about how one man took to the streets with a “free hug” campaign. It’s a great example of how hugging can change the world. (Watch for all different types of hugs!)

I invite you to explore the power of hugging. To begin opening up to the receiving of magnificent hugs from others, and engaging in the practice of inviting others to be hugged. See where your edges are. Observe how you hug. Explore yourself and your thoughts about hugging. Most of all, don’t forget to hug yourself-lovingly, gently, and often! Drop into the bliss of it all.

Then go out and start your own Free Hugs campaign and see how your world changes.

Technorati Tags: bliss, Bliss101, Coach Margie Scott, free hugs campaign, friends, healing, hugging, ideas for living well, life celebrations, relationships, stress reduction

The Summer of 1967 was known as “The Summer of Love”. I was only 6 yrs old, and undoubtedly already learning some lessons of love, or the lack thereof, within the strange realms of an alcoholic household.

42 years later, as yet another Summer season draws to a close, I wouldn’t exactly put this years Summer experience in the high love category. However, as I navigate the tumultuous waters of lost love (do we ever really lose love? I mean, how can we? Love resides within us, not outside of us…) and “divorce”, I certainly have learned a lot about love.

I’ve also been reading, and working with, Bryon Katie’s fascinating ideas about “Loving What Is”, which is also the title of her new book. With the basic premise that the root cause of suffering is the identification with our thoughts and the stories that we have continuously running through our minds, Katie offers a process of 4 questions that can turn around our thoughts and give a new perspective, allowing us to stop fighting reality and accepting what is (http://thework.com). Exploring The Work has allowed me to look deep within myself and discover the stories I have been operating under as I struggle to make a transition that I didn’t ask for, or want.

When your life is made up of certain ideas about the future, commitments, and partnerships, a sudden change, even with all the pre-warning signs, can be traumatic. I have cycled through so many levels of grief, anger, sadness, righteousness, blame, acceptance, and letting go, and am certain there are many more to come. I’ve spent moments hiding under the covers, other moments strongly empowered. I’ve supported clients in their love relationships, witness to the magical unfolding of their journey, a fellow traveler on the path.

Rumi says, “Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.” I know this, yet, I do grieve. I have to. I can’t help it. Moving through the grief allows me to accept, to let go, to dive deep into the wells of all the love that I am, that I have given to others, and that I yearn to share again. It reminds me that I am alive, that I am feeling, and as I give permission to myself to feel, to grieve, to rage, to just be in what is, I learn the largest lesson of all about love: that ultimately we must love ourselves unconditionally, in the weakest, darkest, I’m-so-small-and-lost moments, if we ever hope to fully open our hearts to love again.

“Better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all.” Hemingway

What’s happening in your life with love and relationships? Join me for a 6 week teleclass series “Loving Ourselves While Loving Others” starting in mid-Oct, where we will explore belief patterns and habits that keep us stuck in unfulfilling relationships, identify sabotaging behaviors, and learn specific techniques for embracing a new way of being in healthy, authentic, co-creative relationships. . If you would like to go a little deeper, plan on participating in the 6 month relationship support group where you can take advantage of personalized coaching for half the cost. Details coming soon.

Technorati Tags: Bliss101, Byron Katie, Coach Margie Scott, empowerment, grief, letting go, love, relationships, Summer of Love, The Work

The human heart is such a complex thing. It takes us on a wild roller coaster ride that even the most die hard amusement park ride lovers have trouble coping with. Navigating the wild twists and turns, and stomach curling ups and downs,  of love can make the best of us green, yet we jump on willingly, even when we know what the ride will be like.

Why do we choose to get on these rides? As a young girl I actually hated the roller coaster. I went on it once and that was enough for me. Give me the gentle ferris wheel any day. When it comes to love, however, I seem to be willing to jump on time and time again, forgetting what it felt like the last time when it all went seriously wrong.

I’m still moving through this thing called divorce. The guy that used to be my partner, my lover, my companion is in the process of packing up all his stuff and “getting the hell outta here’, as he so emphatically stated once. He arrived back home from CA, and from the arms of other womyn, last week. Each day I watch as the places where he used to be, become empty. His half of the closet. The garage (well, at least I can walk through it now!). His office. My heart.

When your heart is aching and bleeding all over the floor, how do you see the gifts of the amazing moment you are in? How do you climb in for the ride and arrive at the end hottin’ and hollerin’, climbing out of that little roller coaster car with a smile on your face and a sense of some sort of accomplishment that you survived?

It’s not easy. But survive we do, and eventually we even get back on again for the ride. What I have discovered in this delirious journey is that as my heart expands and contracts, grieves and mourns, rages and releases, I am being birthed into a new self. What better gift could I ask for? She is resilient and strong, empowered and powerful, broken open and freed. The fog has lifted and the clarity is informing and revealing. Suddenly, my stride has become more purposeful and my vision more clear. I detach from that which has not served me, fed my soul, or honored the magnificence of my feminine self. I feel my feelings with a fierce sense of devotion to the ride and a willingness to see myself through it all.

Currently, I am coaching a couple and am leading a group of womyn in a 6 week adventure of healing our relationships with, and beliefs about, men. Realizing that my personal experience provides a rich foundation for the work I do, and allows me to become a masterful coach in the game of relationships, helps me to enjoy the roller coaster just a little bit more. If my journey can make someone else’s easier, then it’s all worth it.

Even so, I’m thinking it’s going to be along time before I decide to ride this roller coaster again!

Technorati Tags: Bliss101, Coach Margie Scott, empowerment, ideas for living well, love, relationships, roller coaster, surviving divorce, sustainable relationships