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I hope that by now I’ve shown you how building your thought leadership has the ability to positively impact your community and your business, but let’s unpack this a little bit more so you can create a crystallized vision for the way this could change your life.

Being a thought leader means, well, being a leader. It means impacting people in a way that makes them want to follow you.  

And not through force, coercion, or, hell, even charisma. Instead, it should be for your thoughts, your ideas, your perspective. All you’ve experienced throughout your life and career. Your hard-won insights uncovered, and lessons learned.

Your impact doesn’t happen overnight, and it doesn’t happen because of luck. It happens because you’ve put the work in and shared its outcome with the world. 

We’re not talking about developing a following similar to teenage girls screaming for a boy band. We’re talking about helping people think of things in a new way. Opening their eyes to a perspective or concept that hadn’t occurred to them before. Helping them see new possibilities. It’s about inspiring positive change in others. And let me tell you, when you see that you can have such an impact on others, it can feel overwhelmingly good.  

Hopefully, you can feel the possibility, the tingle on your skin as you imagine the impact you can make on others, simply for being you. But let’s get down to brass tack, shall we? 

You care about your business and your bottom line. How can building your thought leadership help those? 

We all know that the buying process has changed in the last decade. Business buyers are much further along in their buyer’s journey before they ever speak to a salesperson or representative from a potential vendor. They do their research online. They speak to colleagues and friends. They know what they want and need. 

This means that even if you have an incredible product/service, and you’re a stellar salesperson if your ideal prospect doesn’t know who you are and have a positive view of what you do -- enough to include you in their original buying research -- you’re out of luck. You won’t even get a chance to make your case.

Regularly contributing thought leadership content and being viewed as an influencer in your particular industry could make the difference between being considered and being overlooked. 

What’s more, if you’ve done enough to be included in a prospect’s buying decision, what information have you provided that lets them know if your solution is for them? If you’re only providing information about the features of your product or the results of your service, that might not be enough. 

Though we are rarely willing to admit it, our solution (be it a product or service) is not unique. If I asked what made your company or solution better than their competitors, nine out of ten of you would tell me some mix of the speed, the price, the features, and maybe the people. And guess what? So would your competitors. 

These days, differentiation lies in your customer experience, not your product or even its results. 

How does working with you make your customers feel? 

This is where your brand can play an impactful role in how you acquire customers. You see, a prospect’s first interaction with your brand is the very start of their experience as a customer.

• If they hear about your company or your services, and they look you up online, what are they going to see?

• If they see you post on social media, read a blog post you’ve written, or listen to a podcast interview you’ve given, what will be their takeaway about who you are and what you stand for? 

• Are they going to see language that sounds like every other company in your industry?

• Or will they see content and copy that gives them insight into who you really are as a person, a leader, and a company? 

Building your thought leadership gives your ideal prospects a better understanding of who you are and what you’re really about.

• What makes you different from your competitors?

• What makes your customers different from their peers in the industry? 

Before I worked in marketing and then strategy, consulting, and coaching, I was a salesperson. I’ve sold everything from ultra-luxurious client hosting packages to the Masters, Google Ads for Realtors, analytics software to other tech leaders, and phone systems to IT managers. And there’s something you learn as a sales professional. You learn what separates the truly excellent salespeople from everyone else. Yes, they’re good talkers and even better listeners, but what really makes the difference is that they are much better at qualifying out bad opportunities. They simply do not waste a moment of time on prospects that won’t buy from them anyway.  

They know that their job isn’t to convince someone to buy their product, it’s to find the person for whom the product is a perfect match. And there is something beautiful, downright magical, about having that level of confidence, in knowing that what you have to offer is perfect for the perfect prospect and being willing to walk away from anything or anyone else. 

This is the power of building a well-defined brand. It lets you serve as a magnet to your ideal prospects and opportunities. You attract the perfect prospects because they can truly see who you are, what you’re about, and why they would want to work with you. It amplifies your differentiating factor so that you’re not wasting time with prospects that aren’t the right fit for your product, your business, or you. 

As you build your thought leadership and become respected in your niche as an expert to follow, your ideal audience will begin to form. Not only will they start to know who you are, but they will start to trust you for your wise words or entertaining stories. They will get to know you and even though you’ve never actually met them, they will begin to build a relationship with you. 

This means that when they have a challenge that they know you can solve, you will be at the top of their list of who to call. Yes, this is the long game. This work doesn’t yield massive results overnight, but it builds a movement and momentum that can sustain your business and help it scale in ways that right now you can’t quite imagine.

But the trick is to become known for something. Something unique only to you. Something that accounts for your one in 7 billion blends of skills, passions, experiences, and perspective. (And yes, I know that sounds intimidating, but I promise you can do it, and I’ll show you how...just keep reading)

And yes, I know what you’re thinking. You don’t want to alienate people that might want to work with you. You want to keep things broad enough, cast a wide net, so to speak, so that you can maximize your revenues and new business opportunities. 

But when you try to appeal to everyone, you appeal to no one. 

By laying your cards out on the table and making it clear who you are and whom you serve, you stand a far greater chance of truly connecting with them and absolutely dominating your niche. And it is always a far smarter strategy to be the big fish in a small pond than a small fish in an ocean.

If you missed part one of this article, click here to get caught up.

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PART II

What makes someone a thought leader? 

I believe a thought leader has four distinct qualities. 

1. Impact. They care about making a difference. They are passionate about driving change and progress in their community or industry. 

2. Evolution. They don’t rest on their laurels. They are committed to always learning, growing, and evolving. 

3. Perspective. They have opinions about their work, community, and industry and they aren’t afraid to share them. They have a belief about how things should be done and they are driven to pushing that way of thinking forward. 

4. Authority. They have the respect of their peers and others in their industry. Thought leaders do not operate in a vacuum. They are known for what they do and seen as an expert, leader, or authority by those around them. That authority might be controversial and not agreed upon by all, but some certainly hold that view. 

I have toyed with the idea of adding a fifth quality, but also realized it is not a separate characteristic. Instead, it’s an outcome that results from the existence of these four thought leadership attributes. Namely, it’s when a thought leader described above generates revenue from their work. 

When these four characteristics blend together within an individual person, that person adds value to their community or industry. And that value is rewarded. Profit might not be the primary focus of the thought leader, but it is, to some degree, an almost inevitable outcome. 

How do you become a thought leader? 

Now that you understand what makes someone a thought leader, let’s take a look at how an individual can grow in those four areas. 

Impact

This pillar of thought leadership, for many of the entrepreneurs and business leaders I work with, is the most inspirational. It’s all about making a difference in the community you serve - whether that’s a local community, an industry, a professional discipline. That’s why I start here. 

It helps even the most introverted and “private” people begin to open their eyes to the power of a personal brand. That, when done right, these efforts are generous, not purely self-serving. Sure, this work can and should absolutely have a positive impact on your life, your business, and your bottom line, but it goes beyond that. With a greater platform, you can have a greater impact, and it’s that idea that motivates so many of the most inspiring thought leaders, no matter the industry. 

I want to be clear — in my definition of thought leaders, this platform, this impact, is used for good. It is used to lift others up, not tear competitors down. Yes, there are well-known experts that make use of their influence to criticize or malign others in their field, but I wouldn’t consider them “leaders” and neither should you. 

"Great thought leaders have the fortitude to keep moving forward in the face of adversity because they see the value [they] can bring to society in the long run."

- Peter Arvai

How do you become a thought leader with impact?

In order to have an impact, it’s important to first understand what kind of impact you want to have. How do you want to make people feel? How do you want to drive your community or industry forward? 

Once you’ve been working or living in a certain area for a while, it’s natural to identify a few ways of doing business that you simply disagree with, recognize underserved segments of the community and ways to help them, or have an idea for an innovative solution to a long-standing problem. Take a moment and think about your own situation. Is there something that you find yourself always talking about? An idea that you wish more people understood, a group of people that deserve more recognition, or a practice that should be more widespread? 

Furthering that mission and spreading that idea might be the kind of impact that drives you. 

Then think through the ways you can teach, train, or inform people about this idea you have. Maybe you mentor young people in your industry, teaching them this method or concept that you hold so dear. Perhaps you begin sharing how you’ve come to this conclusion, teaching others about your journey and helping them along in theirs. 

The idea here is to think through what you want to be known for and finding your pathway to spreading that word and making that difference. 

Evolve

This quality of thought leadership is one that often lets people breathe a little easier because it serves as a reminder that no one is perfect. There is always room for growth and improvement. Being willing to evolve in a public forum can be a challenging notion at first, but ultimately is liberating.  It means that your process of learning and growing does not need to be hidden or minimized, but can be shared with your community in a way that helps everyone. 

The idea here is that by evolving as a thought leader, you help lead the charge for evolution in your community or industry. You can be the vanguard of change so that others feel safe and inspired to evolve themselves.  

How do you evolve as a thought leader?

While thought leaders are known for something specific, and often spend the bulk of their career focused on a few well-developed philosophies or practices, they are constantly evolving their understanding and treatment of the work they do, and the audience they serve.

The idea here is that they never stop learning. 

This is where self-confidence and self-assurance can come into play. If we are more focused on our ego, we may not be so willing to continue to learn or test the limits of the ideas we have developed, and move our work or ideas forward. If the ego is what matters, we may be more likely to defend our original idea at all costs. 

While thought leaders are certainly known for getting into heated discussions while defending their perspective, they are also always looking at ways to grow and evolve as people, thinkers, and practitioners.  

If you’re thinking of ways to continue your evolution as a thought leader, seek out experiences that teach you something new. Whether it’s consuming lots of books, podcasts, research papers, or other media covering your industry, or actively taking classes, or earning new certifications, the consistent push to learn and grow is critical to elevating your thought leadership and continuing to sustain it throughout your career. 

Learn something powerful about cultivating your thought leadership? Share this post with one entrepreneur whom it could help.

Perspective

This step in building your thought leadership is perhaps the most challenging, but also the most important. It is what shapes everything else. If you don’t stand for something, then what’s the point? Really. 

Uncovering this perspective takes some personal introspection. You might need to do some thinking about the situations or circumstances that have shaped you, that you can’t stop thinking about, that represent inflection points in your life and your career. Sad to say, but often we learn what we stand for by experiencing its lack. Some of the situations in my life that have had the greatest impact on how I view the world, and the values I hold dear, were those that betrayed my core values and left me worse off as a result. 

The key is to keep pushing yourself forward, taking risks, and evaluating the outcome that results. What did that risk feel like to you? 

How do you decide what you stand for as a thought leader? 

Be curious about the strong reactions you have to experiences in your life, or events in your industry. Do you get fired up when you see a particular dynamic play out on social media or among your colleagues? Are there certain people who you feel particularly inclined to help achieve something in their lives? 

Get in touch with what drives you and why. And then be determined to keep going deeper. You’ll learn more about yourself, and also have a better understanding of what you’re willing to stand for. 

Authority

While knowing what you stand for is a necessary, foundational step in becoming a thought leader, building your authority is what transforms you from someone with conviction to a genuine industry influencer. Without earning the respect of your peers, you can’t really call yourself a thought leader. 

Note: I never advocate calling yourself a thought leader anyway. We all roll our eyes at the people who have thought leader, visionary, or guru as their headline. Still, I believe that building your thought leadership and aiming to embody these four critical qualities is a noble enterprise. 

So how do you earn that respect from your peers and colleagues? There are a number of different pathways to accomplishing this, and I firmly believe that this is a journey, not a destination. But let’s talk through some of the most common and important methods. 

How do you build your authority as a thought leader? 

Build a powerful personal brand

The idea here is to be publicly known for the work that you do. Think of this as building the metaphorical soapbox on which you will stand and speak your truth. Build a platform that allows you to command attention and communicate your ideas to your audience. 

Which platform you choose doesn’t really matter, but it helps to really choose one. Be active on social media, and choose the social platform where your ideal audience congregates, and where you can consistently create content. Start a YouTube channel. Launch a podcast. Send out a regular newsletter. Blog consistently. Write a book. Be a public speaker. 

Whatever it is, pick something and stick to it. Most likely you will wind up choosing several of these options and building your authority in a variety of capacities. The key is to put yourself out there, add value to your community, and build a loyal and engaged audience. 

Discover the simple 5 Step framework to build your authority as an industry leader. Trusted by 1000+ entrepreneurs and business leaders. 5 Easy Steps to Unapologetically Build a Powerful Personal Brand

Build a strong personal network

We all know the old adage, “It’s not what you know, but who you know.” And while the saying smacks of elitism and the frustrating tension between the haves and have-nots, it’s true. Now, it doesn’t mean you need to know billionaires or have fancy connections. But having a network of movers and shakers in your industry will undoubtedly prove to be one of the most valuable assets you could possibly create for yourself. 

Most of the most highly coveted business opportunities don’t get publicly advertised. They are filled because someone knows someone. On top of that, we live in a world that is absolutely drowning in information. Knowing how to rise to the levels we want to reach seems both right in our grasp, and completely obscured, at the same time. When we build friendships with people who have been there before us, charting our path becomes much easier and more straightforward. 

On top of that, when our ideal audience sees we’re in the same league as other thought leaders they know, like, and trust, it accelerates our process to earning a similar status in their hearts and minds. 

Now that you have a better sense of the qualities that define a thought leader, understanding the pathway to build your own thought leadership should feel more accessible to you. It’s not some ephemeral exercise, but a simple (simple, not easy!) process of cultivating those four qualities. 

With some introspection, some courage, and some work, you can chart your own course to being recognized as a thought leader in your industry or community. 

What’s more, it should also be obvious this isn’t about vanity or ego. Sure, earning that authority certainly helps with the ego, and there are undoubtedly some very real thought leaders who come across as ego-driven. But ultimately the work is about helping others. About making a difference. About taking a stand for what you believe in. And that feels good.

Did this post help you grow as a thought leader? Keep learning and accelerate your growth as an entrepreneur.

When you struggle with personal branding the way I’ve described in 3 Things Keeping You From Building an Impactful Personal Brand, you probably can’t escape the feeling that the whole enterprise is a frivolous or superficial one. Something that feeds your ego and little else.

Because of this, I advocate that instead of focusing on building your personal brand, you aim for growing your thought leadership. 

Now, let’s be clear.

On some level, we’re just arguing semantics here. And there will be plenty of you that still roll your eyes at the concept of trying to be a thought leader.

I get it.

We’ve all seen those cringe-worthy people on LinkedIn who have “thought leader” as their title or headline. I put them in the same camp as people who call themselves visionaries or gurus. 

They tend to be a little more focused on the title or the recognition than on the work and expertise to back it up. And no one wants to be that guy (and I’m using “guy” as a non-gendered word here. Partly because I hate the term “gal”, and “girl” is too diminutive, and it’s simply easier. Just a stylistic choice, not wanting to overlook inclusivity here).

But I’ve thought a lot about this concept and have my own way of looking at what makes a Thought Leader.

I’ve read nearly every book or blog post that I could uncover on the subject. I’ve thought about the hundreds of non-fiction and memoir authors whose content I have devoured. I’ve had countless discussions with other leaders and thinkers in this personal branding and thought leadership space.

This is all to say this conception isn’t half-baked.

Undoubtedly it will continue to evolve, as it does to slight degrees nearly every time I wind up in a heated discussion around it, but it comes from a thoughtful, and well-considered space.  

As I’ve developed and discussed this concept, it always sparks a lively conversation and I’ve found many of the impressive leaders, entrepreneurs, and business professionals who struggle with this whole personal branding idea find this direction not only more palatable but also rather inspiring and worth pursuing. 

The crux of the difference between personal branding and thought leadership lies in whom the work is designed to serve. Is it a self-serving enterprise, or one that focuses on giving back and making a difference?

Let’s think about our perception of personal branding for a moment and the examples that immediately come to mind. We think of Instagram influencers, YouTube stars, and, often, people famous for being famous for many of us. The idea here is that they built their brand, built their notoriety, for the sole purpose of profiting off of it. 

Now, I’ve already shared why this is most decidedly not the case. That in all actuality, we all have a personal brand. It’s what we’re known for, our reputation. This means that whether we apply intention into its creation and growth, or not, it exists and can have a positive or negative impact on our careers, goals, and lives. 

Our personal brand is one hundred percent about us, who we are, and what we do in the world. 

Thought leadership, on the other hand, is bigger than that. You’re not much of a leader if you’re a leader only of yourself. Thought leadership means playing a larger role in the community in which you live and work. When I say “community,” this could be a geographical community, but more frequently it is an industry or discipline. The area of work, life, and impact on which you focus.

For example, perhaps you’re a software developer and you’re passionate about STEM education for girls, and evangelizing women in software engineering. That means that as a thought leader, you’d likely serve several communities; software development, women in software development, STEM education for girls, etc. The work you do serves a broader audience and purpose. And while you personally may benefit from your advocacy, that isn’t really the point. 

It’s that dedication to the greater good that makes someone a true leader. 

And let’s be clear about what it takes to be a leader. A leader’s role isn’t always easy, and most would tell you their job isn’t glamorous, and that it can be lonely. But leaders do the work they do because they believe in the cause they represent. They stand for something and are driven to make a difference. 

When you have a vision of making a difference, you have to realize that a greater platform empowers a greater impact. 

Do you think Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. could have accomplished what he did if he played small? If he thought he should just stay on the sidelines and do his work quietly? 

Now, you might not have such grand visions as comparing yourself to the great MLK, but if you take a look around your industry, I am sure you will spot thought leaders that took a risk, and that you admire because of it. 

• They wrote that book explaining a concept, process, or belief that changed the way people looked at a particular idea or situation. 

• They got on a stage and shared a story that wowed others, made them think, and got them to invest in change. 

• They started a podcast, a YouTube channel, a newsletter, a blog that helped others solve problems big and small. 

• They put themselves out there. They shared with the world. And they made a difference doing it. 

I know what you might be thinking. That sharing publicly, putting themselves out there, just comes naturally to those people. I promise you’re wrong. 

Sure, it might be true for some of them, but nearly every thought leader and influencer I’ve spoken to has admitted they struggle with sometimes crippling self-doubt. In fact, there’s ample research that links self-doubt and intelligence. After all, when you’re smart -- and especially if you’re also emotionally intelligent and self-aware -- you’re likely to also be aware of the abundance of experts that surround you, causing you to doubt your role within it all.  

Heck, Amber Naslund, who is a marketing consultant and author and well-respected keynote speaker and expert, with a BIG Twitter following (63k as I write this), open tweets about the immense struggles with self-doubt and imposter syndrome that she faces while writing a book about...Imposter Syndrome. Oh, the irony! 

I know that I have also struggled with self-doubt, embarrassment, stress, and worry about the way I write, record videos, post photos, and share my life and my thoughts online. It has been a long process of learning that has helped me push past my self-doubts and fears to finally be able to own the fact that playing small doesn’t serve me or the people whom I am destined to serve. 

When we connect to a purpose greater than ourselves, our bank accounts, or our likes, followers, and impressions, it becomes easier to take a risk and share our journeys and stories with others.

For me, this is what it means to be a thought leader. To share ourselves with others to make a difference.

PART II OF THIS ARTICLE WILL BE OUT NEXT TUESDAY. IT WILL GIVE YOU ALL THE RIGHT QUESTIONS YOU NEED TO ASK YOURSELF TO BE AN IMPACTFUL THOUGHT LEADER.

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As a founder, you have a choice in everything you do to build your business. Do you want to use every resource at your disposal to attract ideal customers, raise investments, and build awareness for this company you’re building? Or do you want to stick to doing what feels comfortable and hope that it all works out anyway?

If you chose the first answer, then you must decide to intentionally build your personal brand as a resource that can help you earn the trust of your target customers, capture the attention of potential investors, and help ensure that you are the founder everyone wants to talk to.

The term “personal branding” bears the weight of so many people’s perceptions, judgments, and misconceptions, particularly about Kim Kardashian, Instagram Influencers, and the oh-so-many people who seem to be famous for nothing.

Far too often, our minds go to the stories of the worst cases of personal branding. People who crafted “brands” seemingly out of nowhere, all for personal material gain. The term often makes us roll our eyes or feel our skin crawl. 

It’s an unfortunate state of affairs because when we really get down to it, the term isn’t so darn icky, and in fact, is a rather powerful concept.

Years ago, we would have used the word “reputation” in its place. But reputation also has its own loaded meaning, especially if you’re a woman.

While I’m not the biggest fan of Jeff Bezos and everything he stands for, he refers to a personal brand as:

“What people say about you when you’re not in the room.”

It’s how you’re known and what you’re known for. 

And here’s the crux of it. You have a brand whether you think you do or not. The question is whether you’ve intentionally crafted it, or left it to chance. You can probably guess which option I’d recommend. 

“Reputation” just doesn’t work anymore because reputation implies some sort of personal interaction or experience with another person. And our world simply does not function that way anymore.

We live in a digital world and that means, for better or for worse, people can gather an impression of us without actually knowing us personally, or in real life. 

Think about it. How many celebrities, public influencers, or thought leaders in your industry, do you feel like you know?

You think about them and make all kinds of guesses about what they are like, how they behave, the opinions they have, and what it would be like to hang out with them. We all do this, for uber-famous people, and people who happen to be leaders in our industry but are relatively unknown everywhere else. 

This reality only compounded in the age of COVID, when suddenly we were thrust into shelter-in-place life, and forced to conduct all of our business and interactions online.

Sure, we could network on Zoom and over the phone, but our digital reputation — our brand — suddenly became vastly more important and valuable.

The Power of Your Personal Brand -- Especially Online

For those of you with a little more experience under your belt, this new reality might have been a harsh transition. But the younger generation has dealt with the increasing reliance on digital versions of ourselves for years.

Since at least the early 2010s, any time you apply for a job, the recruiter or hiring manager reviewed your social media profiles to get a better sense of who you were and what you stood for. Heck, the recruiter might have even found you on a social media platform like LinkedIn. 

This trend has only increased over time.

Eighty-five percent of recruiters say a job candidate’s online presence matters to some degree in their hiring process, while over half of those same recruiters say a “strong online reputation” can have a big impact on their decision to hire them or not. And this isn’t just for lower-level positions either—ninety percent of executive recruiters also review candidates online. 

And sure, maybe your online presence won’t be the deciding factor, but we need every advantage we can get in this crowded and competitive job market.

Early on, the warnings were about all the content and information that you shouldn’t post. No scandalous photos. No drinking pictures. No off-color humor. The warnings were largely focused on schooling Millennials on how they needed to be more guarded and more private, lest a potential employer judges them harshly. 

But as our online life and selves evolved, so too did our understanding of what’s appropriate and what’s desirable. For years we’ve been dating online, keeping in touch with old friends and family online, learning online, and, yes, even building our careers online. 

And while this evolution has been stressful for some, it’s been downright liberating for many. If personal branding has been more confusing than liberating for you so far, I have a free 5 Step Guide to Personal Branding to give you the clarity and insight you need.

The Rise of the Authentic Personal Brand

Suddenly, or at least that’s how it seems, it’s not just okay, to be honest and vulnerable on social media, it’s lauded as brave. It can propel people into the spotlight.

People have made whole careers from this desire to share themselves with the world. Take a look at Glennon Doyle, Brene Brown, Dax Shepherd, Joe Rogan, or countless others. 

The practice isn’t just for solopreneurs, authors, or podcasters. Take a scroll through LinkedIn these days and you’ll see incredibly personal stories shared in the context of work and career.

We know far more about the personal lives of business leaders than we ever did a decade ago.

While some people may still find this willingness to bear all distasteful, the majority find it helpful, insightful, or even inspiring. And what’s more, I can share countless stories of people who found jobs this way, or rather, who had hiring managers and recruiters find them this way. 

Aside from the plethora of entertaining content, the real benefit here is that we have an online opportunity to paint a more detailed and nuanced picture of who we are, what we stand for, and how we’re different. It means that before people do business with us, they will likely have a pretty good idea of who we are and what we’re about.

We can create a context for our work and our expertise before we even talk to someone. 

And why does your personal brand matter so much as a founder? 

You might be asking:

“Why does someone need all of this personal information?

Especially when it has nothing to do with my work?” 

The sometimes harsh reality is that the world is a busy, noisy place. And it doesn’t matter what you do for a living, because there are likely a dozen other (or, if you’re like most, thousands of others) that do basically the same thing you do, provide the same service, sell the same product, deliver the same results. 

So why should they work with you, and not someone else? 

People choose their collaborative partners, their vendors, coaches, consultants, freelancers, and employees based on something more nuanced. They make these decisions based on the way that person or company makes them feel. On the experience, they have interacting and working together. 

And yes, there is a worrisome element to this state of business. You have perhaps read the ample literature and analysis of the dangers of hiring for “culture fit.” The way this type of evaluation criteria can lead to group-think, and building a team that is glaring in its lack of diversity. 

But the flip side is that when we know more about who a person is, their values, their passions, their personality, and their perspective, we can better understand if we are aligned as people. And I don’t know about you, but I would rather work with someone whose values align with mine and who I know will really get me and what I’m all about. 

Also, I’d rather work with someone whom I like being around. 

And not only that, but personal branding allows for personal relationship building in a new and exciting way. The friendships I have made online -- and yes there are plenty -- developed and deepened at a far greater pace than the traditional friend-making process.

By the time we start talking, we feel like we already know each other because, in a sense, we already do. 

And while I only get to see my in-real-life friends a few times a month at most, or engage in the occasional text message throughout the week, my social media friends and I see each other’s content, engage with each other’s updates, and support each other far more readily and frequently because of that proximity. 

So what does this emphasis on personal branding mean for you and your business? 

It doesn’t mean that you’re required to share deeply personal experiences online. But it does mean that when someone first hears your name or learns about your business for the first time, they are absolutely going to look you up and check you out.

What will they find? 

Will they find a record of you at all?

Will they get a sense of your personality, the focus of your work, or what makes you different from all your competitors? 

You have this remarkable opportunity to set the tone and layout expectations right from the jump.

The question is: Do you seize that opportunity or let it pass you by? 

Build Your Powerful Personal Brand Now

If having a powerful personal brand is so important, why do so many people struggle to create one? 

Now, we all know there are about a million things in life that are important. Things that we should be doing. Things we, on some level, want to do. 

We all know the importance of being healthy, eating right, exercising regularly, being fit as a fiddle. But how many of us actually fit that description? How many of us take the time to and put in the work to revamp our lives to turn our body into the temple that the gurus all claim it to be? 

We know that on some level, our lives would be better if we took the time to become fit, healthy humans. We’d have more energy. We’d be more capable. We’d have more confidence.

So what holds us back? 

For each person, it’s a mix of various feelings, challenges, and blockers. But ultimately, if you do the research, it all comes down to a few key elements. 

1. We’re not exactly sure what to do. We’re inundated with content telling us that vegan is the way to go. Or keto. Or paleo. That we should run for our health. That running is terrible for our knees and stress levels and we should lift weights. The onslaught of information and confusion only continues. 

2. Change is freaking hard. Becoming a different version of ourselves takes work. Hard work. It requires us to change our habits. To not just make the decision to change once, but to back that decision up over and over again. Every time we take a bite or choose between the couch and the gym. It’s constant. And it’s exhausting. 

3. Fear dominates us in more ways than we think. When you really dive deep into conversations with people about their health, there are a lot of fears lying just below the surface. Fear that our friends won’t like us if we don’t go to happy hour, or share a plate of nachos anymore. Fear that we’ll try and fail. Fear that we’ll succeed and our lives won’t change the way we dream they will. The list goes on. 

It turns out the challenges preventing people from building a strong personal brand are eerily similar. Let’s unpack this in order of difficulty, just like I did above. 

Knowing How to Build a Personal Brand is Confusing

There is an absurd quantity of content out there about building a personal brand. When you’re looking at high-level content, much of the advice is the same. Know who you are, know whom you want to reach, start sharing content, connect with others. 

At first glance that’s helpful! And it’s at least simple enough to get someone started, but most people will hit a roadblock incredibly soon. The question of how to complete all of those steps looms large and, for many experienced professionals, can feel both intimidating and futile. It’s oddly simple and extremely challenging at the same time.

And this is one of the gripes I have with much of the content that exists. It simplifies the process in a way that can be somewhat helpful, but also glosses over the actual process someone needs to go through. You watch the video or read the blog post and think, “I can do that!” But once you sit down to actually crank out that work, you wonder how they got from point A to point B? There must be a missing step.  

Having a strategy and a plan is, as with most things, the most important step, but is ultimately the hardest to complete.

It requires a level of self-reflection and discovery that we’re not always prepared for and can often feel “woo woo”, or detached from the nuts and bolts reality of your work, particularly when you’re already an experienced, relatively successful professional. 

Building a Personal Brand Requires Change - And Change is Hard

The second most challenging aspect of this whole personal brand-building enterprise is that creating change in our lives, in any way, is incredibly difficult. Especially when we’ve been doing pretty okay up until this point.

We naturally resist change. We might be willing to make slight adjustments to how we operate, to the way we do things, but when a new endeavor is this personal, it doesn’t feel like a slight adjustment. It feels like a wholesale transformation.

Deciding to embark on a personal branding journey requires a few things.

First, it requires admitting to ourselves that where we are currently, in our careers and reputation, isn’t enough. That we deserve more. And that can be a harsh realization. 

Second, it requires that we change our habits. And habit design is challenging. That’s why books like Atomic Habits by James Clear and The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg are so ridiculously popular (full disclosure: I am a super fan of both - especially Atomic Habits).

What I’ve noticed is that this level of change, and especially habit formation, is somehow more challenging for personal branding than other aspects of business. 

In all of my work with entrepreneurs, I notice there’s something about this personal branding exercise that stops many entrepreneurs and ambitious, driven business professionals from applying the same get-shit-done mentality they so readily put into action in every other part of their work.

Successful entrepreneurs tend to be very systematic and organized.

When there is a problem that needs to be solved, they do their research and learn the right method to apply and get it done. 

They don’t use that same model of thinking for personal branding. There’s something about this enterprise that, I think, hits too close to home, feels too personal for them to use their typical entrepreneurial problem-solving skills. 

Building a Personal Brand Instills Fear

And this brings us to the third, and most, challenging aspect of personal brand building.

Fear.

Because of the personal nature of this work, fear tends to be the most common blocker in the pathway to success in building a powerful and impactful personal brand. 

Now, let me be clear. Not everyone recognizes it as fear. Sometimes they say it’s time management. Or that they’re just private people. But every single time I start to ask deeper, more probing questions, we arrive at some statement or belief like, 

“I’m worried that I’ll say the wrong thing.” 

“I feel like people will laugh at me.” 

“I don’t want to embarrass myself.” 

“Who am I to act like the expert online?” 

The list goes on and on. It’s fear. Ego and fear. 

Far too many of us were taught, growing up, myself included, that people who talk about themselves are rude, tacky, selfish, or just plain embarrassing. If you were raised by baby boomer (or older) parents, you were often taught that if you just put your head down and work hard, you will be rewarded. That no one likes a bragger or complainer. 

And so we learned to get along. To keep our heads down, do good work, and hope that somehow people would notice. 

But our society and culture have changed. 

They are busier and noisier, which means it’s become significantly harder for people to notice our hard work. We can bemoan that evolution, and long for the “good old days,” but I’d rather revel in the opportunity that this new reality creates for us. 

Now, it is not only okay but celebrated that we share ourselves with the world. The prevalent feeling now is that we are all valid and worthy. That we have something valuable to share with the world, and that by doing so, we help others learn, grow, and evolve into who they were meant to be. 

And while we’re still a long way from seeing a truly diverse representation in the workforce, this trend has increased at a dramatic pace. And it’s a beautiful thing. We are now vastly more likely to see bodies of all shapes, sizes, colors, and abilities gracing the pages of a magazine, the listings of a catalog, or the stock images on a website. 

There are podcasts, YouTube channels, nonfiction authors, Instagram influencers, and LinkedIn thought leaders from nearly every background who are covering a wide range of topics.

And you might think, “Yeah, that means I have nothing new to add.” 

But that is where you’re wrong. 

What is particularly beautiful about this transformation in our culture and media is that it's no longer only about the message. It is also about the messenger. And no one can represent your unique blend of experience, expertise, and background the way you can. No one.

Sure there may be thousands, or even millions, of people that are similar to you in one way or another, but in all ways? Heck no. 

Now when we amplify what makes us different, we find the people, partners, and customers whose interests and desires are perfectly aligned with the value we provide and problems we solve. And we make it easier for them to find us. 

One of the most common responses I receive when I ask the clients I work with why they struggle to build a personal brand is “Well, I don’t like to brag.” They genuinely believe that the whole exercise requires them to simply ramble on in public about how great they are. 

So I ask them, “Are there business leaders, thought leaders, that you follow online? People that you respect and maybe even admire?” 

They always answer yes, often rolling their eyes at the obviousness of my question.

Do they ever brag?” 

A long pause…

“No, no they don’t.”  

That’s when I explain that this has nothing to do with bragging. 

It’s sharing. Sharing your story, the lessons you’ve learned, the experiences you’ve gone through, the processes or strategies you’ve developed, the ideas you have, the things you’ve tried, and the things you failed. 

When you tell your story, teach your lesson, share your insight, the message will be delivered in a truly unique way. Even if that exact content has been delivered a million times before, because it is coming from you, it will resonate with a different audience and in a different way. 

Sharing yourself with the world could make the difference between someone giving up and continuing to press on. All because they see something in you that they identify with, and your hard work, your experience, inspires them. 

That impact is why you have a responsibility to share with the world. 

I know this isn’t always what we’ve been taught, and the transition from staying quiet and playing it safe, responsible, and reasonable, to playing it big, bold, and brave, is a terrifying one.

But when you recognize that it’s the limiting beliefs ingrained in you from childhood, and the fear those beliefs stir up in you that holds you back, it becomes just a little easier to face them head-on and take that first step forward in building a personal brand that reflects who you are and who you were meant to be. 

Remember this: a belief is just a thought you keep thinking. 

So what if, instead of thinking, “Who am I to build a personal brand?” you started thinking, “I deserve a bigger platform so I can make a bigger difference?”

My 5 Step Guide to Personal Branding

The primary thing that serves as a blocker to your success as an entrepreneur isn’t a lack of experience, strategy, or connections.

Yes, those are important considerations and the presence of each can make a massive difference in your growth, but they (or their lack) are rarely the thing getting in your way. 

Still, I’d be willing to bet that the biggest obstacle to your success as an entrepreneur is probably some unresolved issue from your past. Not the issue itself, but the behavior or worldview that you learned in response.

 It might be that you don’t really trust other people and so you assume you need to do everything yourself.

• Or you have a lack of confidence that forces you to either doubt every decision you make or overcompensate by engaging in a game of one-upmanship, so you appear immature and abrasive.

• It might also be that you are a people pleaser, saying yes to everything and everyone, so you wind up frequently overwhelmed and spread too thin. 

Once this realization was too stark, too obvious for me to ignore, I started to see the signs and patterns everywhere. Like that car you decide to buy, thinking it’s a little unusual, and then suddenly you spot one on every corner. 

In recent months, I have met, mentored, and coached many entrepreneurs (and, let’s be honest, business professionals and humans of all kinds), that have some behavior or mental blocker they acquired as the result of a traumatic or troubling experience from their childhood, a toxic relationship, a devastating loss.

This is even more likely if they have survived multiple of these experiences in fairly quick succession or had one that lasted for a long period of time. 

Why don’t we recognize past trauma as a blocker to professional success?

Although many of the business and executive coaches I’ve spoken to recognize the pervasiveness of this issue, on a more public scale, you won’t see much conversation around trauma as something that stands in the way of entrepreneurial or professional success.

The problem is that most of us do not immediately classify many of these experiences as “trauma.”

In fact, we tend to associate the word “trauma” with more violent events -- war, assault, a car crash, -- life or death ordeals. But it turns out there are actually two kinds of trauma. 

There’s Trauma (big T), which is the kind of trauma I’ve just described, the life-or-death experiences that we readily think of when we hear the word. But the more nuanced, more subtle, and likely more sustained version that I previously mentioned, is equally relevant and classified as trauma (little t). This is the impact of sustained traumatic experiences.

These painful situations often come on too gradually and are too long-lasting to be processed and dealt with as a single traumatic event. As a result, their effects become ingrained in who we are and how we view the world, without us even realizing it. 

These effects serve as the blocker for most of us in our lives and, indeed, in our business as well, primarily because this version of trauma is far more common among all types of people -- regardless of their background, education, race, gender, or religion. 

And I suspect that because it is so common, we are more inclined to ignore its effects. It’s another situation where we expect to be able to pick ourselves up, brush ourselves off, and get back to working and living. We often pride ourselves on our ability to carry on despite our hardships. Many of us come from the stiff-upper-lip culture, where powering through the hard times is viewed with respect and admiration. 

And so that’s what we do. But the strategies we often employ to get through the hard times -- and they are indeed survival strategies -- don’t always serve us when struggle dissipates and now we want to focus on truly thriving. 

I learned this myself. I spent the early years of my business being driven, to be sure, but also being like a ship without a rudder.

I tried a million things.

I struggled to define a clear direction.

I also continuously sought and agreed to partnerships with other professionals, rushing into business with them without doing my due diligence, and every single time those people would at best disappoint me and at worst fundamentally betray me and my trust. 

It was devastating. And despite making decent money, I was miserable and felt like an utter failure. 

I was the human embodiment of a hamster on a wheel -- always busy, working hard, and doing so much. And yet, never making any real progress and forever feeling like the business was slipping through my fingers. 

I was running a small and scattered marketing agency, which turned me into a glorified project manager and got me away from the strategy and coaching work that I loved. I hated it and I wasn’t particularly good at either. The result was classic burnout. And it took me developing a severe case of vertigo, caused by a viral ear infection before I opened my eyes and realized there had to be another way. 

I started imagining a new kind of business, but still, I felt stuck. Not sure how to proceed. But I kept putting one foot in front of the other. Again, hiring coaches to advise me without fully evaluating them, their expertise, their values, or how they could help me realize this vision I was forming for myself. 

The hamster wheel had slowed down, but I was most definitely still on it. 

And then I was violently attacked by my rescue dog. (*note: this was a very rare and unusual circumstance. This dog was not a traditional rescue and I am still a tremendous advocate and believer that we should all be rescuing animals from shelters rather than purchasing them from breeders) I won’t go into all the details here, but I thought I was going to die. But I didn’t. Neighbors heard my screams and saved my life. I spent the better part of a week in the hospital and had surgery. And then began a long, painful recovery. 

And I immediately contacted my therapist and began seeing him twice a week. What I couldn’t possibly have predicted was that this experience would turn out to be one of the greatest blessings of my life. When I finally had a real big T Trauma, I started to take my own trauma seriously. All of it. 

• My rather lonely childhood. 

• My incredibly toxic marriage. 

• The unshakeable feeling that I wasn’t good enough. 

As I peeled back each successive layer of pain and grief from my past, as cliche as it sounds, I found myself. I found the strong, empowered, bold version of me. The one that I had seen flashes of, that I knew was there, but that I had always struggled to fully embrace. 

While this experience is wholly mine, I also know that many parts of it are common.

If we don’t start dealing with our trauma, we cannot possibly become the entrepreneurs, the leaders, the people that we were meant to be. We will forever be a restrained, and indeed, pained version of ourselves.

And both we and the world deserve more. 

Access my Personal Branding Guide

But let us point out that these same “downsides” can also be considered benefits. Because these what-ifs hold so many people back, being a podcast guest is a hugely underrated opportunity to grow your business. Naturally, this means there’s plenty of room for you to stand out. 

Want to be among the savvy few who know a good thing when they see (or hear) it? Here’s how being a podcast guest can help you skyrocket your expert authority.

Gain Instant Brand Awareness

Being a podcast guest means getting in front of someone else’s audience. Maybe some listeners have heard of you, and maybe they haven’t. In either case, your guest appearance will have made a strong introduction. You suddenly go from someone the audience doesn’t know to someone they’ve learned something from. 

This is your chance to spread awareness about who you are, what you do, and how you can help others. And if you book a guest spot on the right shows, you’ll spread brand awareness with your ideal customers. The more value you share, the more likely you are to gain a few new fans or customers by the end of the podcast. 

Build Credibility

More than half of all Americans have listened to at least one podcast, and three out of four people are at least familiar with podcasting. Every podcast means a new audience for you. They may not know who you are, what you do, or—most importantly—why they should listen to what you’re saying. All they know is someone they already like and trust is interviewing you.

This alone is a huge boost in authority. You look good by association and can win over listeners just by being yourself.

Think about it: someone bringing you onto your podcast must put a huge amount of trust into what you do. They think you’ve got something important to say, and this trust carries over to their listeners.

Ready to land your first round of podcast interviews and grow your business?

Click the button below and access my FREE copy and paste formula for pithing yourself to podcasts!

Pack a Lot of Value into a Short Timeframe

Podcasting is a form of content marketing, which experts are increasingly using to grow their credibility. What makes podcasting stand out is the way it packs value into a short timeframe. 

When listeners tune into a podcast, you’ve got them on the hook for 20-60 minutes, give or take. They’re not spending that much time reading blog post after blog post. But you COULD cover multiple topics that would be blogs or other content in a single interview.

This is one reason why people love podcasts so much. They get more takeaways for their time. What’s more, they know they’re getting insights directly from an expert, which isn’t always the case when they’re using Google to find information.

Repurpose the Content on Your Own Channels

Who doesn’t want to get more mileage out of their content? Especially when you can use content that doesn’t require as much time and money to make as your in-house content.

Being a podcast guest is an honor, so naturally, you’ll want to share your guest appearance with your own audience. 

While you may already have an audience that knows and trusts you, showing off your guest appearance can reinforce your credibility. It reminds your customers why you’re considered an expert in your field. 

Your customers might feel more comfortable recommending others to you when you continue to earn their trust. They might stay with you longer or renew or upgrade their service with you. Share the podcast on your social media channels, website, or other outlets to attract new customers. 

You can also hand the podcast over to your content writing team to turn your insights into multiple blog posts, social media posts, or even lead magnets. There are tons of possibilities for repurposing your guest podcast!

Next Steps: How to Find Podcast Guest Opportunities

Good news: There are over 1.9 million podcasts, so there’s a good chance you can find a few that fit your niche and share your insights. Being a podcast guest can be a lucrative opportunity to improve your credibility. You have a captive audience on a podcast. People who tune in want to listen to what you have to say, even if you’re just a guest.

Take advantage of these opportunities to flex your expert authority while everyone else scratches their heads trying to figure out what’s missing from their marketing strategy.

Now that you know the value of guest podcasting, it’s time to take the next step . . .

Download my absolutely free guide to learn how to find guest podcasting spots to grow your business.

Ready to learn more? Watch my video below where I break down ever more reasons why being a podcast guest is the #1 way to grow your business.

Trauma is more common than I used to realize. Far more people than I ever understood have dealt with incredibly challenging personal experiences that change the way they view the world and, what’s more, react to it.

We also often associate the word “Trauma” with the experiences that represent the most extreme examples - violence, abuse, rape, assault, etc. This is classified as big “T” Trauma. The kind of trauma that is most likely to result in PTSD.  But there is another kind of trauma, a far more prevalent type that is classified as little “t” trauma. This is the more nuanced, subtle, and, often, longer-lasting trauma. 

This is the trauma that results from being bullied, neglected, or ignored as a kid. It’s the trauma that comes from chronic illness or severe health challenges. It can also come from toxic relationships -- marriages, familial relationships, and even work environments. This is the stuff that is absolutely hard, but that isn’t necessarily life-threatening. It can cause a trauma response, but the experience might have come on so slowly or lasted so long, that we don’t even see how it changed us, or worse we think we should just get over it. 

This is the trauma in which we are likely to play the game of what Brene Brown calls Comparative Suffering. Telling ourselves that compared to others, our experience wasn’t so bad, so we can’t complain. 

It’s not surprising that collectively, as a society, we fail to recognize the prevalence of this experience and its impact. After all, one of the most common reactions to trauma is, often without realizing it, to attempt to deny its existence. To push it down. To squash it.

It makes sense then, that we would minimize its impact on the world. And in a way, it even makes sense that some people would dismiss those that try to draw attention to its prevalence or even to their own experience. As a result, we’ve reached a point where the word itself feels loaded with meaning, conflict, and disagreement as we repeatedly have been taught to mock any who mention it or to somehow believe they are merely over-fragile snowflakes that do not deserve our respect or attention. 

Believing that others are childish or weak for expressing their own experience makes it easier for us to deny our own. 

And I get it. For years, I struggled to understand that some of the experiences from my past had created classic trauma responses in me. It wasn’t until I experienced my own unequivocal and rather overt trauma (being violently attacked by my dog) that I began to understand the word and its complexity far better. For the first time, I understood what it meant to be “triggered.” 

What perhaps has been most eye-opening for me throughout the experience however was the way that one trauma uncovered layers of long-denied others. And once I started looking, I couldn’t stop. Not just for the experiences themselves, but the many ways that those experiences impacted how I move in the world, how I see myself, and how I see others. And this, this impact and our reluctance to talk about it, let alone examine it, I am realizing, has a far greater effect on our world and even in our businesses than I previously realized. 

So how does your past trauma impact your business? 

Your personal trauma is going to impact you and your business in a unique way, but as I’ve delved into this topic, I am spotting some patterns that I’ll describe below. 

Now I want to be clear...I am not a therapist, a psychologist, or a psychiatrist. I am not medically trained to diagnose or treat these issues. I am simply sharing what I’ve learned from my experience and what I am seeing in the entrepreneurs whom I speak to and work with. 

Hyper Self-Sufficiency 

Recently I was speaking with a coaching client and she said something that stuck with me. “I just need to do it all myself without asking for help. It’s my personality.” The refusal to ask for help and the urgency to do everything on your own isn’t a personality trait. It’s a learned behavior and a very common response to trauma. 

Trauma often teaches us that the world isn’t a safe place, that we can’t rely on others to help and support us, that we’re on our own. And we adopt that mindset into everything we do. And there’s a good side to it! It might be part of the reason why you became an entrepreneur in the first place. It’s part of why you’re so resilient and able to think through or solve even the most complex and intimidating problems. It’s why friends describe you as “strong” and “determined”. 

But it’s also holding you back from progress. If someone else could help you take a big leap forward, would you reach out to them? Would you ask for help? Or would you take 2-3x the time and effort to do it all on your own? 

Being able to ask for and accept help from others is one of the most critical strengths in growing your business.  Being an entrepreneur, even if this is your second or third time doing it, is a wholly new experience. You have never built this business before. You have never sold this specific idea to this specific audience before. 

Being able to seek out advice or even hire people to complete certain tasks for you can save you incredible amounts of time, money, and energy. Not to mention this type of collaboration can allow you to expand your vision for what’s possible. 

Saying Yes to Everything and Everyone 

The flip side to not being able to ask for help is offering your help to everyone else, being a people pleaser, putting everyone else’s needs before your own. Often the trauma we experience is one that leaves us craving the approval and attention of others. If you were neglected as a child, or in a toxic relationship (either as a child or adult), you may find yourself constantly worrying about the opinion or approval of others. 

This too has a positive side to it. When we’re subtly taught to focus on the needs and wants of others, it makes us a deeply empathic and intuitive person. We are often able to anticipate the desires of others before they do. This makes us damn good at understanding our customers’ wants and able to deliver stellar results for them. 

The problem, however, is that it can become all too easy to get distracted from what we want, from our vision for our business and our future. If we run a service business like consulting or freelance, we might wind up doing work that we never wanted to and don’t enjoy. This is the stuff that leads to burnout and a genuine crisis in your business, as you wind up moving in a direction that doesn’t serve you or your goals.

Being able to create a strategic vision for your business and have the self-determination to stay the course can be challenging, but it’s the secret to seeing success in the business you’re building. Yes, it’s important to be adaptable, but it’s equally important to know what you want and be focused on its success, despite the desires of others around you. 

Ready to turn your personal struggles into professional strength? Download my 5 Easy Steps to Unapologetically Build A Powerful Personal Brand

Struggle to Commit to a Direction 

Do you feel like you’ve pivoted your business a million times? Or maybe you keep having a new “aha” moment about the direction your business should take, only to realize an even better path a few days or weeks later? As I said above, being adaptable is an advantage, but it can be very easy for those riddled with self-doubt to struggle to stick to a plan. They keep convincing themselves they’ve found something even better when what they’re really doing is undermining their chances at success. 

Committing to a single direction, a single niche for your business, or goal for your life and career means trusting yourself that you’ve chosen the right path and trusting the world that this path is even possible. Often when we’re recovering from, or still dealing with, trauma, we lack that sense of trust in ourselves and the world around us. This lack of trust leads to distraction because we’re constantly looking for signs of danger and quickly pivoting or adapting to stay safe. 

The problem here is that entrepreneurship is, at its core, a risky enterprise. We can spot danger, failure, or uncertainty in every corner and if we don’t have a clear vision and commitment to what we want and the goal we are pursuing, we will give up and shift course far before we get there. This leads to the all too common feeling of spinning our wheels. Trying a million things but not seeing the traction we know we are capable of. 

If this sounds familiar, don’t give up hope. What this means is that the struggles you are facing come from a learned behavior as the result of these traumatic experiences in your life. And that means that you can unlearn them, too. It means you are not doomed to always suffer these same challenges and forever feel like you’re doing everything yourself, regularly overwhelmed by your commitments or spinning your wheels from lack of traction. 

I see you. I’ve been where you are. And though still I am constantly learning new lessons, uncovering new aha moments, and feeling like I am taking another step into my power, in the last 6 months, I have progressed further in creating the life and business of my dreams than I have in the last decade. You can too. I promise. 

And if you’re ready to explore how you can stop letting your past limit your success and instead leverage it to become a powerful leader in your niche, download my FREE guide to build a powerful personal brand that attracts your ideal clients and grows your business without spending a dime.

Still, I’d be willing to bet that the biggest obstacle to your success as an entrepreneur is probably some unresolved issue from your past. Not the issue itself, but the behavior or world-view that you learned in response. 

It might be that you don’t really trust other people and so you assume you need to do everything yourself. Or you have a lack of confidence that forces you to either doubt every decision you make or overcompensate by engaging in a game of one-upmanship, so you appear immature and abrasive. It might also be that you are a people pleaser, saying yes to everything and everyone, so you wind up frequently overwhelmed and spread too thin. 

Once this realization was too stark, too obvious for me to ignore, I started to see the signs and patterns everywhere. Like that car you decide to buy, thinking it’s a little unusual and then suddenly you spot one on every corner. 

In recent months, I have met, mentored, and coached many entrepreneurs (and, let’s be honest, business professionals and humans of all kinds), that have some behavior or mental blocker they acquired as the result of a traumatic or troubling experience from their childhood, a toxic relationship, a devastating loss. This is even more likely if they have survived multiple of these experiences in fairly quick succession or had one that lasted for a long period of time. 

Ready to own your struggles and grow your leadership? If so, click the button below and download my free guide to unapologetically build a powerful personal brand.

Why don’t we recognize past trauma as a blocker to professional success?

Despite the fact that many of the business and executive coaches I’ve spoken to recognize the pervasiveness of this issue, on a more public scale, you won’t see much conversation around trauma as something that stands in the way of entrepreneurial or professional success. The problem is that most of us do not immediately classify many of these experiences as “trauma.” In fact, we tend to associate the word “trauma” with more violent events -- war, assault, a car crash, -- life or death ordeals. But it turns out there are actually two kinds of trauma.

There’s Trauma (big T), which is the kind of trauma I’ve just described, the life-or-death experiences that we readily think of when we hear the word. But the more nuanced, more subtle, and likely more sustained version that I previously mentioned, is equally relevant and classified as trauma (little t). This is the impact of sustained traumatic experiences. These painful situations often come on too gradually and are too long-lasting to be processed and dealt with as a single traumatic event. As a result, their effects become ingrained in who we are and how we view the world, without us even realizing it. 

It is these effects that serve as the blocker for most of us in our lives and, indeed, in our business as well, primarily because this version of trauma is far more common among all types of people -- regardless of their background, education, race, gender or religion. 

And I suspect that because it is so common, we are more inclined to ignore its effects. It’s another situation where we expect to be able to pick ourselves up, brush ourselves off, and get back to working and living. We often pride ourselves on our ability to carry on despite our hardships. Many of us come from the stiff-upper-lip culture, where powering through the hard times is viewed with respect and admiration. 

And so that’s what we do. But the strategies we often employ to get through the hard times -- and they are indeed survival strategies -- don’t always serve us when struggle dissipates and now we want to focus on truly thriving. 

I learned this myself. I spent the early years of my business being driven, to be sure, but also being like a ship without a rudder. I tried a million things. I struggled to define a clear direction. I also continuously sought and agreed to partnerships with other professionals, rushing into business with them without doing my due diligence, and every single time those people would at best disappoint me and at worst fundamentally betray me and my trust. 

It was devastating. And despite making decent money, I was miserable and felt like an utter failure. 

I was the human embodiment of a hamster on a wheel -- always busy, working hard, and doing so much. And yet, never making any real progress and forever feeling like the business was slipping through my fingers. 

I was running a small and scattered marketing agency, which turned me into a glorified project manager and got me away from the strategy and coaching work that I loved. I hated it and I wasn’t particularly good at either. The end result was classic burnout. And it took me developing a severe case of vertigo, caused by a viral ear infection, before I opened my eyes and realized there had to be another way. 

I started imagining a new kind of business, but still I felt stuck. Not sure how to proceed. But I kept putting one foot in front of the other. Again, hiring coaches to advise me without fully evaluating them, their expertise, their values, or how they could help me realize this vision I was forming for myself. 

The hamster wheel had slowed down, but I was most definitely still on it. 

And then I was violently attacked by my rescue dog. I won’t go into all the details here, but I thought I was going to die. But I didn’t. Neighbors heard my screams and saved my life. I spent the better part of a week in the hospital and had surgery. And then began a long, painful recovery. 

And I immediately contacted my therapist and began seeing him twice a week. What I couldn’t possibly have predicted was that this experience would turn out to be one of the greatest blessings of my life. When I finally had a real big T Trauma, I started to take my own trauma seriously. All of it. 

My rather lonely childhood. 

My incredibly toxic marriage. 

The unshakeable feeling that I wasn’t good enough. 

As I peeled back each successive layer of pain and grief from my past, as cliche as it sounds, I found myself. I found the strong, empowered, bold version of me. The one that I had seen flashes of, that I knew was there, but that I had always struggled to fully embrace. 

While this experience is wholly mine, I also know that there are many parts of it that are common. If we don’t start dealing with our trauma, we cannot possibly become the entrepreneurs, the leaders, the people that we were meant to be. We will forever be a restrained, and indeed, pained version of ourselves. And both we and the world deserve more. 

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It’s an unfortunate state of affairs because when we really get down to it, the term isn’t so darn icky, and in fact, is a rather powerful concept. Years ago, we would have used the word “reputation” in its place. But reputation also has its own loaded meaning, especially if you’re a woman. 

While I’m not the biggest fan of Jeff Bezos and everything he stands for, he refers to a personal brand as “what people say about you when you’re not in the room.” It’s how you’re known and what you’re known for. 

And here’s the crux of it. You have a brand whether you think you do or not. The question is whether you’ve intentionally crafted it, or left it to chance. You can probably guess which option I’d recommend. 

The reason why “reputation” just doesn’t work anymore is that reputation implies some sort of personal interaction or experience with another person. And our world simply does not function that way anymore. We live in a digital world and that means, for better or for worse, people can gather an impression of us without actually knowing us personally, or in real life. 

Think about it. How many celebrities, public influencers, or thought leaders in your industry, do you feel like you know? You think about them and make all kinds of guesses about what they are like, how they behave, the opinions they have, and what it would be like to hang out with them. We all do this, for uber-famous people, and people who happen to be leaders in our industry but are relatively unknown everywhere else. 

This reality only compounded in the age of COVID, when suddenly we were thrust into shelter-in-place life, and forced to conduct all of our business and interactions online. Sure, we could network on Zoom and over the phone, but our digital reputation — our brand — suddenly became vastly more important and valuable.

The Power of Your Personal Brand -- Especially Online

For those of you with a little more experience under your belt, this new reality might have been a harsh transition. But the younger generation has dealt with the increasing reliance on digital versions of ourselves for years. Since at least the early 2010s, any time you apply for a job, the recruiter or hiring manager reviewed your social media profiles to get a better sense of who you were and what you stood for. Heck, the recruiter might have even found you on a social media platform like LinkedIn. 

This trend has only increased over time. Eighty-five percent of recruiters say a job candidate’s online presence matters to some degree in their hiring process, while over half of those same recruiters say a “strong online reputation” can have a big impact on their decision to hire them or not. And this isn’t just for lower-level positions either—ninety percent of executive recruiters also review candidates online. 

And sure, maybe your online presence won’t be the deciding factor, but in this crowded and competitive job market, we need every advantage we can get. 

Early on, the warnings were about all the content and information that you shouldn’t post. No scandalous photos. No drinking pictures. No off-color humor. The warnings were largely focused on schooling Millenials on how they needed to be more guarded and more private, lest a potential employer judge them harshly. 

But as our online life and selves evolved, so too did our understanding of what’s appropriate and what’s desirable. For years we’ve been dating online, keeping in touch with old friends and family online, learning online, and, yes, even building our careers online. 

And while this evolution has been stressful for some, it’s been downright liberating for many. 

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The Rise of the Authentic Personal Brand

Suddenly, or at least that’s how it seems, it’s not just okay to be honest and vulnerable on social media, it’s lauded as brave. It can propel people into the spotlight. People have made whole careers from this desire to share themselves with the world. Take a look at Glennon Doyle, Rachel Hollis, Dax Shepherd, Joe Rogan, or countless others.

The practice isn’t just for solopreneurs, authors, or podcasters. Take a scroll through LinkedIn these days and you’ll see incredibly personal stories shared in the context of work and career. We know far more about the personal lives of business leaders than we ever did a decade ago. While some people may still find this willingness to bare all distasteful, the majority find it helpful, insightful, or even inspiring. And what’s more, I can share countless stories of people who found jobs this way, or rather, who had hiring managers and recruiters find them this way. 

The real benefit here, aside from the plethora of entertaining content, is that we have an online opportunity to paint a more detailed and nuanced picture of who we are, what we stand for, and how we’re different. It means that before people do business with us, they will likely have a pretty good idea of who we are and what we’re about. We can create a context for our work and our expertise before we even talk to someone. 

And why does your personal brand matter so much?

You might be asking, “Why does someone need all of this personal information? Especially when it has nothing to do with my work?” 

The sometimes harsh reality is that the world is a busy, noisy place. And it doesn’t matter what you do for a living, because there are likely a dozen other (or, if you’re like most, thousands of others) that do basically the same thing you do, provide the same service, sell the same product, deliver the same results. 

So why should they work with you, and not someone else? 

People choose their collaborative partners, their vendors, coaches, consultants, freelancers, and employees based on something more nuanced. They make these decisions based on the way that person or company makes them feel. On the experience they have interacting and working together. 

And yes, there is a worrisome element to this state of business. You have perhaps read the ample literature and analysis of the dangers of hiring for “culture fit.” The way this type of evaluation criteria can lead to group-think, and building a team that is glaring in its lack of diversity. 

But the flip side is that when we know more about who a person is, their values, their passions, their personality, and their perspective, we can better understand if we are aligned as people. And I don’t know about you, but I would rather work with someone whose values align with mine and who I know will really get me and what I’m all about. 

Also, I’d rather work with someone whom I like being around. 

That’s why personal branding creates an opportunity for not just being better known for the work you do, but for making it easier for ideal clients, customers, partners, and employees to find you. It amplifies that internal magnet you have for attracting the right kind of people to you. 

And not only that, but personal branding allows for personal relationship building in a new and exciting way. The friendships I have made online -- and yes there are plenty -- developed and deepened at a far greater pace than the traditional friend-making process. By the time we start talking, we feel like we already know each other because, in a sense, we already do. 

And while I only get to see my in-real-life friends a few times a month at most, or engage in the occasional text message throughout the week, my social media friends and I see each other’s content, engage with each other’s updates, and support each other far more readily and frequently because of that proximity. 

So what does this emphasis on personal branding mean for you? 

It doesn’t mean that you’re required to share deeply personal experiences online. But it does mean that when someone first hears your name, or learns about your business for the first time, they are absolutely going to look you up and check you out. What will they find? 

Will they find a record of you at all? Will they get a sense of your personality, the focus of your work, or what makes you different from all your competitors? 

You have this remarkable opportunity to set the tone and layout expectations right from the jump. The question is: Do you seize that opportunity or let it pass you by? 

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I should explain. So, last August I did something young Nicci vehemently dismissed, and had no interest in: I got married. And today’s Nicci couldn’t be happier for it.

Then, rapid-fire like, I got my first house, my first dog in 27 years, a fancy new vehicle, and a thrilling job promotion. All over the course of a couple of months. Sure, it’s been an exciting and flourishing time, but stress, fear, and uncertainty have also accompanied it, quite heavy-handedly.

I’ve always faced situations I’m not particularly versed in with optimism and assuredness, even if I was slightly terrified that I might fail in it. That’s just the way I am. But I’ve also never been thrown so many life-changing circumstances at once. I definitely needed some guidance to get me through all this new territory.

Which brings us to Forleo’s book. Initially I didn’t want to apply the idea of ‘self-help’ to Everything is Figureoutable, because it’s a term I’ve loathed since the first time I ever heard it. It’s just never sat right with me — I 100% support the idea of self-help, but I’ve never actually sat down with a book of that nature. Instead I seek it through therapy, research, and trips to the river. 

But Forleo changed my mind on this concept. I really like the tone and attitude she uses in her writing, which is somewhat no-nonsense, and very relatable. She makes the idea of bettering yourself feel very attainable, and even fun!

She opens by delivering a fantastic story about her mother, who set the stage for the creation of this book. Forleo recalls coming home from school one day and seeing her mom on top of the roof. Concerned, she yells up at her to make sure she’s okay. And her mom responds by explaining that she was fine, but the roof had a leak, and she didn’t want to pay the exorbitant price the local roofer would charge to fix it. Since she had seen some extra asphalt in the garage, she decided to just fix it herself.

Of course Forleo’s mother had no background in roofing, or anything like that, but she was extremely resourceful, and had an unquenchable desire to figure things out on her own.

This mindset fueled Forleo throughout her life, and landed her incredible jobs along the way. My favorite? Her addiction, and dedication, to Crunch fitness classes eventually got her a gig as an MTV workout video instructor and choreographer. And that’s just brushing the surface of all the inspiring accomplishments throughout her career.

The book of course is about so much more than what Foleo achieved, however — what really stands out are the principles she lived by to help navigate her way to success.

A few of her chapter titles spell it out pretty effectively:

• Eliminate Excuses

• Refuse to Be Refused

• Progress Not Perfection

• Start Before You’re Ready

Great mantras to put on repeat when things get tough, amirite? And truly, all of these meant a lot to me because they stomp out the negative feelings that pop up whenever I’m having trouble writing content for a client whose industry I’m not familiar with. Or am assigned a project I have zero experience in.

Or am living my life as a married woman for the first time!

My heart and mind were also extremely grateful for the Eliminate Excuses idea, because it’s something I fight with pretty regularly. As I’ve begun to get comfortable with my new life, my motivation for everything else has unfortunately been dwindling. One of my biggest goals this year is to finish a book I started writing 7 years ago, and I can’t think of a better instigator at night than this one. 

Hmm, I’m bored, so I should just put the tv on and click through the channels ‘til I find something to watch. Nope! You’ve got writing to do, young lady. Eliminate excuses. And do as Forleo also recommends: Create before you consume.

Another super helpful piece of advice offered in the book was that you should not consider setbacks and missteps as failures — you should accept them as lessons, instead. Your flops are events, not characteristics of who you are. And applying this type of mindset will also help you develop determination, and resistance to rejection.

I strongly encourage this book for anyone who has a goal in mind, be it for work, family, or life in general, because it’s flush with tips that will help you overcome your self-doubt. And anything else that’s holding you back.

Forleo does a terrific job of reminding you how powerful a creature you are, and that you can legitimately find an answer to any problem you’ll ever face. Don’t be surprised if you end up like me, and start telling everyone you know that “everything really is figureoutable!”

But I am a passionate advocate for the concept behind it and its importance in your career, business, and life. In my view, your personal brand is your reputation, your influence, your impact. It’s what people say about you when you’re not in the room. It’s how people remember you.

The famous Maya Angelou quote often comes to mind: 

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” 

Your personal brand is how you make people feel. And when you invest in intentionally cultivating a personal brand, you empower yourself to make more people feel your energy and your impact. 

Your personal brand can make or break a career. There are few other investments you can make in your career that can have such a big impact. But there’s something about this nebulous term, personal brand, that makes many of us a little uneasy and rather lost when deciding how to proceed. 

Note: Want help building your personal brand and expand your influence? We can help you craft a killer strategy or just go ahead and do it for you (and your team). Let’s talk.

As a result, I find many people whose work deeply inspires me toil away in relative obscurity because they feel reluctant to tout their own success. 

As a friend recently said on the subject, “it just feels so awkward to brag about how great I am.” 

And this is the trouble. Far too many of us believe building a personal brand is all about bragging, boasting about our wins, and seeking praise from the adoring masses. 

Nope. 

The foundation of any strong personal brand is adding value, helping others. Not talking about how great you are. 

Here are a few simple ways you can expand your influence and become just a bit better known for the work you do. 

4 simple ways to build your personal brand and expand your influence

(that don’t involve Social Media and don’t cost anything)

1. Answer questions on Quora

Quora is an intensely popular online forum where people can ask questions about pretty much anything. No matter what you specialize in, or what you just plain find interesting, there is a community on Quora asking questions about it. 

• Create a profile with information about you, links to your social and/or website, and ways to get in touch for more information. 

• Answer a question a day. In no time at all, you’ll earn tons of views and grow your influence in your industry. 

2. Write a blog post a week 

Whether it’s on Medium, LinkedIn Pulse, or your own blog, start getting more content out there. I know it can feel really intimidating to commit to this frequency of content production, but if you commit to writing for 10-15 minutes every day, you’ll easily have a blog post per week. 

If you’re not sure what to write about, pull out a journal and jot down some ideas. 

• What questions do you wind up answering all the time? 

• Write down something new you learn every single week. 

• What lessons do you wish you’d learned earlier? How can you share those lessons with others?

• What is something you wish more people understood about your role, your life, your industry, etc.? 

3. Teach a class or lead a workshop

Sometimes the best way to remind yourself of all that you have to share with others is to get in front of a group of hungry students. We often think we don’t know enough about whatever our area of expertise is, but it turns out, compared to a novice, we know a lot! 

Find a local meetup, a college or high school, a startup accelerator, or some other local organization that might be interested to learn more about the work you do and how you do it. Send their organizer an email and offer your services. Most of the time these organizers are on the hunt for people to share their insight and knowledge and your offer will be welcomed.

Keep in mind, the way you maximize the value out of this experience is by following up with people attending the session, sharing your experience through a blog post or even a video, and finding ways to keep the conversation going. Let this experience be the beginning of your time sharing knowledge and teaching others.

4. Get interviewed by a podcast 

One of the easiest ways you can share your expertise is by joining an industry podcast for an open discussion about the work you do. It can be a fun way to connect with other thought leaders in your field, while also allowing you to test your messaging and build some confidence in getting out there. 

So how do you get these interviews? 

A rather well-known business podcast host recently told me 50% of his interviewees emailed to pitch him on why he should interview them. And the vast majority of the time they were a great fit and he brought them on. 

He also shared that women and people of color almost never did this. Clearly that should change. 

Spend some time googling the podcasts in your industry, make a spreadsheet with all the relevant info. Then commit to sending 5 emails a week, asking to join their podcast. You’ll be amazed at how many respond with an enthusiastic “Yes!”

These ideas will each take some time to execute. They may be simple, but that doesn’t make them easy. And the work is worth the reward. Building a personal brand, putting intention into how you want to make people feel, and finding ways to expand that influence and grow that impact will pay dividends in ways you can’t imagine.

Try some of these out. And if you want help, let us know. We do this work for clients all the time, helping them have the influence that years of work have earned them.

Ready to own your story, build your personal brand and become the leader you were born to be? If so, click below and access my absolutely FREE guide to build your personal brand today.

When my friend said this to me recently I detected a distinct hint of disdain — or at least snark — in her voice. We had been discussing my recent invitation to travel to Bangladesh as part of a delegation with the Richardson Center for Global Engagement. I was attempting to dismiss or deflect questions about how I received such an opportunity — feeling awkward about the honor.

I was immediately defensive. And annoyed. 

“I’m not lucky!” I thought. She knows me well enough to know that the last few years have been rough for me. Sure, there have been plenty of moments of beauty and good fortune, but those have been balanced by poor choices, health diagnoses, and repeated experiences of loss. 

Life is hard. There’s no getting around it. It can be a downright brutal experience — even when it is also a beautiful one. As I’ve written about before, the last few years of my life have left me feeling like I’ve been getting beaten from all sides. 

Even when things are going pretty darn well, it can feel like there is something else knocking me down and leaving me gasping for air. As a result, this last year especially has filled me with doubt, with worry, and with feelings of indescribable loss. None of which makes me feel lucky or fortunate in any way. 

Over the years, I’ve learned how to put in the work to get through these kinds of difficult times — go to therapy, take care of myself, and put my head down to press on and move forward. But still this summer and fall, I felt a sense of frustration and negativity that didn’t quite feel like me. 

As I wrote the article mentioned above, I likened this period of melancholy, introspection, and the resulting negativity, to an existential midlife crisis. Looking back, it’s clear that even as I worked through new ways to view this time in my life, I was holding onto the negativity, to what this struggle and challenge meant for who I am, what I want to be, and how I understand my role in the world. 

In short, I had a chip on my shoulder. A grudge against life and circumstance and struggle.

In the midst of this period of just feeling worn out by life, my friend told me I was lucky. And I couldn’t let it go. I thought about that comment for the next few days, ruminating on my defensiveness and feeling motivated to justify how I deserve the opportunities I’ve received and that life isn’t easy.

Eventually, though, I realized she was right. 

I am lucky. I am an incredibly privileged, fortunate, lucky person. In more ways than I can possibly count. 

Yes, life has gotten harder as I’ve gotten older. I’ve experienced a myriad of plain old shitty circumstances. But I am still lucky, even beyond being born into a privileged family. 

When I think, however, about the times in my life that seem luckiest, they seem to be more abundant, more prolific, and just more magical than when I am not just aware of my luck, but am actually celebrating it. When I have faith in my good fortune and gratitude for it, rather than constantly looking for the next shot across the bow, blow to my ego, or loss in my life. 

When I believe in the goodness of the world and the people in it, I am happier. I put out a more positive energy. My heart and mind are open to chance encounters. I’m more likely to strike up an engaged conversation with someone I don’t know or smile at a stranger on the street. 

Sometimes it’s those conversations that turn out to be those moments of kismet, like when my Lyft driver and I started chatting about life and work and 2 weeks later she became our incredible content marketing manager. 

In turn, the doors of positive opportunity are just more likely to open when I’m expecting them. Or perhaps, I’m just more likely to notice that the door is ajar and edge my way in. 

Luck isn’t something that simply happens to you — especially not without your active participation. You have to keep your eyes open for those chance encounters and keep listening for that proverbial knock at your door. Sometimes the knock is so soft that luck requires you to trust what you heard and run out the door and down the hall before it has a chance to flee. 

But if you have faith those good things can and will happen, and that you deserve every little miracle the universe has to offer, you won’t just notice when they do, you’ll also seize the opportunity that comes along with them. 

In 2020, I vow to be the person always on the lookout for the beauty, goodness, and plain old luck that life has to offer. Join me. 

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Tomorrow night, I will board the first of four flights that will take me first to Seattle, then to Hong Kong, onto Bangkok, and finally to Dhaka, Bangladesh. I have been asked to join a trip hosted by the Richardson Center for Global Engagement to visit Cox’s Bazaar, the largest Rohingyan refugee camp in the world. We will meet with the refugees themselves and the many people, organizations and officials working to improve their situation and help them build new lives away from home.

I’m scared.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m thrilled and honored by the opportunity, but I am also filled with nervous jitters and deep feelings of imposter syndrome.

Although I have imagined a million things that could happen, I don’t really have a clear picture of what to expect. It all feels like one great big unknown and that makes me uneasy. That nervousness, trepidation, and just plain old fear are all signs that I must do this. That this trip is exactly what I need because I have learned that facing my fears might just be the best thing I can do for myself.

You see, when you’re afraid to do something — try a new activity, go to a new place, meet a new person — and you do it anyway, you learn that you can withstand more than you were giving yourself credit for. Facing your fears, pursuing your dreams, braving the unknown help you realize you are stronger, smarter, or more capable than you thought.

This is how resilience is honed. Testing our limits and recognizing that we’d misjudged them, that those limits are further out than we’d previously suspected.

It’s one of the reasons why entrepreneurship helps — or forces rather — you to become grittier, stronger and more confident. Being in business brings up so much fear, doubt, and worry, but you get through it and it makes you just a little stronger, a little bolder each time.

I have been listening to the audio version of Marie Forleo’s “Everything is Figureoutable” and she brings up a really wonderful and thought-provoking idea about fear — what if fear is actually how our body shows its excitement?

She explains how Bruce Springsteen describes the thrill he experiences backstage, listening to the crowd roar in expectation of his performance. His breath quickens. His heart races. His skin tingles. Sounds a little like fear, doesn’t it? But he uses those physical symptoms as signals that he is about to do something incredible. That he is living his dream.

While I didn’t have the nuanced perspective to understand that my fear is indeed my own excitement over an experience or opportunity, I have recently come to the conclusion that if there is something that I know I want to do, but it also makes me jittery and nervous, then I must proceed.

Those nerves are a sign that this matters to me and that the only result of me failing to take that next step forward would be regret.

The next time you find yourself flooded with feelings of anxiety or fear over an opportunity for adventure or progress, ask yourself one simple question.

In 5 years, am I more likely to regret
saying yes or saying no?

Most of the time, when you take a moment to reflect on this question, the answer is clear. You’re more likely to regret saying no. When you say yes, even when it winds up being an absolute failure, you learn. You grow. And it makes you a better person.

A few years, ago I decided that I wanted to be the person who said yes. Who took the chance on adventure, and experience, and life. It’s why I got a tattoo with part of my favorite Mark Twain quote:

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

So don’t let fear get in the way. Don’t let your dreams slip through the cracks because of “what-ifs.” Instead, focus on the “why nots” and take that leap.

Do you want to learn how to own your story, face your fears and build the business you’ve always dreamt of? I know you can so let me help. Click below and get my FREE guide that will provide you a step by step process to build your powerful personal brand.

Caroline Criado-Perez does an outstanding job of bringing such issues out into the open in her book Invisible Women: Data Bias in a World Designed for Men, and her stories of bias and discrimination are backed with statistics and substantial evidence.

TRANSCRIPT

Today, I want to review a book that has had a huge impact on me and my thinking about the world, my understanding of the world, and the way it's designed. This also has got me thinking a lot about bias.

So, the book that I'm talking about is Invisible Women by Caroline Criado Perez. This book is astounding.

It is absolutely filled with stats, stories and evidence that really shows how our entire world is designed with this understanding that sort of the default human is a man.

So Perez goes into a bunch of different aspects of our lives, from the education system, from how we invest in companies, the way our medical system works, the way research trials work. Even things like cars—so you might not realize this, but they don't do crash test with dummies that are designed like female bodies.

The best that they do is they sometimes put a smaller man in the passenger seat to sort of mimic a woman, except women's bodies are designed very differently from men's. The way weight is distributed, all kinds of things, and we don't account for this.

She talks about how public restrooms are designed and how this negatively impacts women particularly in developing countries. And where public restrooms are often the only restrooms and women wind up being afraid to go use them because they're in very dangerous areas and you are significantly more likely to be sexually assaulted while going to the bathroom.

So women either run the risk of putting themselves in dangerous situations or they simply hold it and then they run the risk of UTIs and infections.

This book covers nearly every aspect of our lives and makes it very clear that women are considered an afterthought instead of a priority. Our perspectives are not prioritized in really anyway. And this is very damaging to our health, our safety, our ability to get ahead in life, our ability to get businesses funded or bills passed.

And you know, most people realize that I'm a pretty avid feminist. But reading this book, it opened my eyes to the way humanity and society treats women as an afterthought instead of as 50% of the population. The way that is negatively impacting literally every aspects of our lives it's an astounding read.

There were many points throughout it that made me angry, that made me frustrated, that made me devastated and I highly recommend that anybody reads this but especially if you're in a position of influence, especially if you play any sort of role in the startup world or in product design or development.

We have an ability to to change this narrative and to make the teams and the companies that are genuinely crafting our world, designing our world and making them more diverse and making sure that we are accounting for the very real impact that we have on a day-to-day basis.

What it really made me realize is that yes, we women are treated as an afterthought and that the book is primarily about what Criado-Perez refers to as the gender data gap but this data gap exists on a number of other levels, right?

So the racial data gap, the ability or disability data gap. There are so many segments of our society that are left out of the discussion and are not considered when we are shaping our world. Shaping our products, shaping how medicine works, shaping how our entire world and our lives are designed.

So if you're at all interested in how do you create products or policies or programs in such a way that it positively impacts the world and that you are making a bigger difference, I highly recommend you read this book.

I guarantee it will be a very eye-opening experience for you and you will learn a lot.

So click the link, either listen to the audio—by the way, she's got a fabulous British accent and she is very very engaging in the audio, so either listen to the audio or read the actual book.

There's a ton of information there and I think all of us could learn a lot about how we can make this world and our products a lot more inclusive.

--AS AN AMAZON ASSOCIATE I EARN FROM QUALIFYING PURCHASES.

When I traveled to Costa Rica for the Surf and Sales retreat a few months ago, however, I realized that there was an area of my life that where I could use a habit brush up and refinement. The morning.

Several of the other attendees spoke about their morning routines, explaining how they structured the first part of their days to set themselves up for success. For years, I have had an intermittent and rather sporadic morning meditation practice. And over the past year, a pretty consistent habit of drinking 16oz of celery juice every morning.

But overall, my mornings were a little free-wheeling - a few too many hits of the snooze button, a struggle to get moving, and a race out the door.

With this in mind, I decided to dive into the many possibilities of a morning routine and find one that really fits me, my lifestyle and my goals.

Do you want to learn how to own your story, build routines and grow into the leader you’ve always dreamt of? I know you can so let me help. Click below and access my FREE personal brand guide.

First off…What is a morning routine?

A morning routine is a sequence of habits that you undertake every single morning — without fail. Sure, some of us are a little less stringent on the weekends, but a true morning routine helps you start every day. Rain or shine. Weekday or Weekend. At home or on the road. You name it. You do it.

The whole idea is to create a habit - or series of them - that you don’t have to think about, but that starts your day with positivity, energy, and intention.

Why do you need a morning routine?

A morning routine helps you create a process and a structure that lets you set yourself up for success every day. All too often, we lie in bed, hitting the snooze button, and then looking at email or social media on our phone. Before we’re even out of bed, we feel behind and then find ourselves in reactive mode.

These few simple steps can make us feel like the day isn’t really ours and that we are at the whims of everyone and everything around us.

What a stressful way to lead your day!

Instead, a morning routine gets us centered and focused, so we can go about our day with intention — creating an environment and an experience that serves our goals and furthers our vision for what how we want to feel in our lives.

How do you create a morning routine
that works for you?

It can be extremely helpful to conduct some research into the morning routines that others have created. When this is a new endeavor, it can be hard to know where to begin, so taking a look at what others have done can give you a great starting point.

One of the most famous morning routines is what is known as The Miracle Morning, shared in a book by the same name by Hal Elrod. His routines one of the more comprehensive, as it includes six key elements that are commonly used in morning routines. He even created a catchy little acronym for remembering each component.

S.A.V.E.R.S.

Silence

This is your morning meditation. A chance to sit in silence and get grounded before your day begins.

Affirmation

Repeat your affirmations aloud.

Visualization

Visualize the life you want, the future you are working to create.

Exercise

Get your body moving and blood pumping.

Read

Read at least a few pages of a book or article that you find interesting.

Scribe

Write for at least a few minutes - either journaling or something more structured.

When I first revisited the concept of a morning routine, it was the Miracle Morning that I adopted. I liked the structure and I felt it was important to test out each of these 6 key elements.

I quickly learned that there were some parts that worked very well for me and others that needed some adjusting. Over the last three months, I’ve refined my routine and created one that I now feel very good about.

A few things I’ve learned:

1. A good routine needs a few elements - something to center your mind, something to help you set your intention for the day, and something to get your blood pumping and energy flowing.

2. You can adjust your routine to fit your schedule and your commute. Feel free to read, listen to books, or even write while you commute into work.

3. I started asking a ton of people about their routines and it gave me tons of ideas of how I could create my own.

4. Be consistent but be flexible. If the mood strikes to try something new, go for it! But don’t give up on your routine.

In that spirit, let me share my own routine, so you can get some ideas of how to craft your own kickass morning routine. Note: on weekends I do most of the below, but not all.

Here is my morning routine:

- When the alarm goes off, I have a really hard time getting out of bed right away, so I read one news article on my phone - either something I’ve saved in Pocket or something on the NYTimes app.

- Then I get up, brush my teeth, drink a big glass of water, and put on work out clothes.

- I go downstairs, sit on my white furry chair and meditate for 15 minutes. I’ve been particularly loving the Journey Meditation app. Their live sessions really make me feel grounded and connected to my self and the universe.

- Then I pull out my deck of affirmation cards, ask the universe what message I need to receive today and pull out a card. I write about that affirmation and my perspective on its role in my life and share 5 things I’m grateful for and 3 ways I’ll make today great in my Day One app.

- Once that’s done, I go back upstairs, pull out my yoga mat and do light yoga and stretching for at least 10 minutes.

- Then I get dressed, pack my bag, and start my mile walk to catch the train into work. While I walk, I listen to a non-fiction audiobook. Once I’m on the train, I pull out my kindle or a book and read along my ride.

- Once I’m in the office, I sit down to write for at least 10m, while I drink 16oz of celery juice.

This routine makes me feel AMAZING. I cannot overstate this.

Ah-May-Zing!

Discover & share this Nick Cage GIF with everyone you know. GIPHY is how you search, share, discover, and create GIFs.

I start each day filled with hope and optimism and energized for an amazing day. Beginning each day focused on feeding my mind, soul, and body has helped me shake off a depression I had been struggling with and it has left me seeing the world and all the people in it in a far more positive light.

I know the above routine can seem like there’s a lot to it and maybe it takes up too much time, but all in, it only adds about 30m to my morning and those are 30m that are paid back time and time again throughout the day.

I am more productive.

I’m a better leader.

And I’m just a better person, friend, and partner to the people in my life.

Pick a few things you’re going to do every morning for 30 days. Just stick to it for one month and see what happens. I promise it will change you - for the better.

Give it a shot and let me know what you think. I’d love to hear what you learned.

In their book, Extreme Ownership: How U.S. Navy SEALs Lead and Win, the duo share stories from their time on the battlefield, and detail how readers can apply strategies and solutions used in the war to their leadership roles in business, and their personal lives.

Transcript

Hey everybody. I am Kasey Jones of A Better Jones, and today I'm going to be reviewing the book Extreme Ownership by Jocko Willink and Leif Babin.

This book is absolutely incredible. I read it over a weekend and came into the office on Monday ready to change how I ran a bunch of things on my team and it has really, really impacted how I operate as a leader.

But also how I work with those above me so with clients, right, so it's all about how you own your results, how you own your process, and how you have extreme ownership over your role and your work and in a variety of ways. 

And Jocko Willink and Leif Babin, they are both ex-Navy SEALs that after leaving the Navy SEALs they went into kind of business leadership, consulting, and training. Jocko also has an incredible podcast that I highly recommend, it’s much more philosophical and sort of intellectual than you would expect and it's really really fascinating, but the structure of the book is really interesting because what they do is really tell a story from their experience as a Navy SEAL and the lessons learned from that. And then they talked about how they have applied that in the business world through some of their clients. 

The whole lesson is having ownership over yourself, your work, your process and your results, and what they talk about a lot is that this idea of kind of putting things off onto somebody else, of having excuses for why things didn't turn out the way that you wanted them to, or expected them to there's no real room for that, and one of the things that I think was the most powerful for me was really this idea around if you want somebody below you to do a job or to do the work and they come back and they didn't do it or they didn't do it correctly—that's on you.

That means that you didn't really train them on how to do it. You didn't make it clear what you were expecting and you didn't really lay it out there and there's something very powerful about that.

On the flip side, they also talked about owning things up the chain. So if you've got a boss or you've got management that they're not giving you what you need in order to be successful, what are you doing about it? Just sitting around and kind of complaining about it is not taking extreme ownership.

There's always things within your control that you can own and that you can leverage in order to have a greater impact and to do better work.

So the thing that I love about this is really it's about helping you recognize how much control you really do have and how much of an impact you really can have but it takes this mindset shift of being willing to look critically at your own performance and your own work and your own process, but then also recognizing when there's more that you can do and when you can have a

bigger impact in your role, even if you're at the bottom rung of the corporate ladder or a hierarchical structure of some sort.

So the book to me is I think it's something that anybody that wants to be a leader, anybody that wants to be better at their job, I think everybody should read it. It gives the very practical, actionable advice on how you can really think about your role and your work and your world while also feeling very inspiring and empowering.

It's one of those books that you know, I listened to the audiobook version of it. And I think I listened to it all. You know, it's like a 10-hour book and I listened to it all over the weekend. I absolutely could not turn it off and it made me so excited to go into work on Monday morning and implement some changes so that we could communicate better as a team and we could get more done and it really made me understand that as a leader I play a much larger role in the performance of my team and the process in which they get things done then I think I realized beforehand.

So again, I like highly highly recommend this book. There's a lot of lessons to be learned that these guys have really mastered while supporting the United States in their military roles.

They were Navy SEALs in Iraq, and I think Afghanistan as well, and they tell some really crazy stories, some scary things, but some really inspiring things about how you can harness your own grit and get really serious about owning every aspect of your work and taking real pride in a job well done.

So check it out. It's called Extreme Ownership: How US Navy SEALs Lead and Win by Jocko Willink and Leif Babin, also check out the podcast, and they have a couple of follow-ups to this as well that I highly recommend and I'll talk about this. I'll do a review of those as well, but check it out and please share in the comments.

What did you think about this book? Did you like it? What did you learn? How are you applying some of these lessons? And we'd love to hear from all of you how you're making this work.

So thanks so much and happy reading.

Our CEO Kasey Jones has an immense amount of experience in expanding influence, both for industry leaders, and herself, and she knows the idea can be daunting.

She wants to help you erase those fears and embrace self-promotion, and is now hosting a weekly webinar to do just that!

Kasey encourages anyone out there who wants to improve their personal branding and establish themselves as an influencer, and in the virtual discussion she shares all the tips and advice she’s accumulated through years of influence building.

In this first session - included in the video below - the focus is Building an authentic personal brand that your boss + buyers love. Here’s a look at topics that will be discussed in the near future:

• How to brainstorm dozens of great ideas for personal branding content

• How to write social media posts designed for engagement

• Growing your personal + professional network one connection at a time

Sign up and join the conversation each Thursday at 11am PST, or catch up on previous recordings over on our YouTube channel.

Watch a recap of the first session:

And if you’ve followed us for any length of time, you know our CEO, Kasey Jones, reads a ton of books. She shares a lot of book reviews on our site, talks about her lessons learned on social, and really advocates for us all to read more.

That’s why she’s taken the time to catalog all the books she reads - and for most of them, includes ratings and reviews, as well as some information about the authors.

Take a look below and feel free to scroll around. Kasey includes the book title, the author(s), links to buy the book, topics you can sort by, and then ratings and reviews - including some links to any video recording she’s done of reviews.

Check out her book catalog here, click the links to buy or download any that seem interesting, and then make sure to tell us what you think!

Calling all bookworms! Whether you're looking to catalog your extensive personal library or just making a list of books you want to read, this template can help you. Here's some tips on how to use this template: * The Author field is a [linked record field](https://support.airtable.com/hc/en-us/articles/206452848-Linking-to-Another-Record).

I spent several months consuming memoirs of people - mostly women - who reached similar points in their lives for one reason or another. Inflection points. Moments or times when something inside of them shifted. 

In this time I read:

• The Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes

• On Being Human by Jennifer Pastiloff

• Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb

• No Happy Endings by Nora McInerny

• Brave, Not Perfect: Fear Less, Fail More and Live Bolder by Reshma Saujani 

And these books filled me with wonder and inspiration while making me feel just a little less alone. All of this reading, all of this curiosity about how others cope with an experience like mine - one of feeling lost, while wondering “what next?” - helped me understand this state of despair was not just a routine depression resulting from yet another punch in the gut, towards my self-confidence and assuredness. 

No, this was a time for me to pivot. And yes, I’m purposely borrowing a term from the startup lexicon. As a company you pivot when you realize your current product, or your company’s current direction, needs to be adjusted substantially. You realize that if you continue down the current path, you won’t get to where you dream of going. No, you’ll sputter out, and run out of the gas and money and time it’ll take to make your dreams happen, and actually realize the vision you’ve held for so long. 

Life is like this. When you get a divorce, you don’t just lose a relationship. You lose your dream of the future. The vision you had for the next few years, for your old age. You aren’t just reconstructing your daily routine, your finances, or your romantic relationship. You’re recreating your entire life, and the hopes and dreams you held for that life. 

Inspiration from Leaders Who’ve Failed

These moments of change are all too common in our lives. We all experience hard losses that force us to rethink everything, to reevaluate every idea we had for our lives, and, if we’re brave enough, to forge a new plan for our future. Despite the fact that a life pivot is so damn common, Jerry Colonna helped me realize that our language around this transition needs to be changed. 

I had no idea how to describe what I was going through. The only term that seemed at all relevant was “Midlife Crisis.” And frankly, I used that term while having a consultation with a new therapist. I said, “It’s not like I’m having a midlife crisis or anything.” And she replied, “Why not? You are middle-aged.” Oof. 

Yes, if you look at the exact definition of “crisis”, it fits. But man, the connotation of that term is so doomsday, so full of despair, conflict, and devastation. And what’s more, it gives you no sense of what comes next. 

Why don’t we look at these periods of change, these inflection points in our lives, with hope, optimism, and positivity, instead of as failure? 

I often chalk up the lack of satisfaction and pride in our lives to the unfortunate power of social media - of being bombarded with images, videos, and stories of other people’s highlight reel while we’re living our own bloopers and B-roll. But this goes deeper than that. 

I’m currently listening to the book Range: Why Generalists Triumph in a Specialized World by David Epstein, and he dives into the power of being a generalist, and the limitations that come from being an early specialist. He tells stories about so many of our most lauded artists, leaders, and professionals of every stripe, sharing how they found their path, cultivated their career trajectory after multiple failures, or how they bounced around from one job, one direction, to another. 

So many of these sound like utter failures, where they were frustrated with their lack of early success, and tired of regularly hearing from family members and loved ones that they should just stick with something - even if they hate it. We are told from a very young age that the right way to grow up, the proper way to achieve success, is to pick a direction and pursue it with commitment, with fervor. 

Some people are able to do that. Their path to success is linear and logical. Other people strike gold early in their careers - achieving that now oh-so-tantalizing status of a unicorn while still in their 20s. These stories of successful young upstarts are pervasive. I think, perhaps, they always have been, but they are even more so today. They dominate our understanding of what success means today. College dropouts like Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and Mark Zuckerberg cloud our perception of how one gets to the top. 

And when you don’t follow that model, choosing instead to bounce around, take your time shaping your own vision for the future, and charting your own path toward success - however, we’re defining it - we feel behind. Then, when we experience life’s inevitable setbacks, prompting us to reassess and re-envision our future, it often leaves us feeling even greater failure, despair, and frustration, rather than signaling that we are ever closer to the life we deserve. 

Celebrating Self-Discovery

I am increasingly aware and accepting of the fact that I am still very much in discovery mode, trying to navigate my life, opportunity, and future. I also own that life hasn’t been the easiest in the last few years, especially with health diagnoses, a divorce, and business decisions that just didn’t pan out. 

I have a long way to go before I will claim that I have figured anything out what I want to be when I grow up, but I have figured out one thing. This is not a crisis.

I’m realizing this is part of the process, a necessary step of the journey, and one that should be celebrated instead of mourned.

I’m not going to lie and say I’ve fully shed this idea, this feeling that I’ve come up short in life and have some serious catching up to do. That sense is too deeply ingrained in me to shake off so easily, but I am done feeding the idea that every single step of my journey and my self-discovery aren’t valid and worth celebrating. 

This is a pivot. A reboot. 

And it’s a sign that good things are coming.