You want to be more focused, creative, and kind, but the pace of work can make that difficult.

The good news is that mindfulness doesn’t have to take a lot of time. What matters most is regularity.

Small pauses often make a big difference.

Here are five things you can try at work…

Straw breathing

Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. On the outbreath, purse your lips as if you’re blowing through a straw. Gradually extend your exhale. No need to strain—just explore how long you can make the outbreath.

This practice helps soothe your nervous system. It’s a quiet meditation you can use in meetings, at your desk, or during a difficult conversation.

Look into the distance

Throughout the day, pause and let your gaze widen. Look into the distance—out a window, down a hallway, or across the room. Stare softly at one point while slowly turning your head from left to right.

Using your peripheral vision can help your body settle. It creates a feeling of safety and perspective, while also giving your mind a little space to process and organize information.

Appreciation practice

Think of one of your coworkers. Someone you care about, yet with whom you may be stuck in a holding pattern.

Spend a little time each day appreciating this person. Notice small ways they’re helpful, patient, thoughtful, or steady. Notice the qualities you admire in them.

You’ll probably also notice the ways they annoy you or don’t do things quite right. When that happens, take a deep breath. Remember the good in them. Keep returning your attention to what you appreciate.

Ask how rather than why questions

We all get caught in circling thoughts. It’s normal, but not always helpful.

To disrupt rumination, try replacing why questions with how questions. Instead of Why does this keep happening? ask, How can I create a shift? or How might I approach this differently?

Why can keep us looping. How often opens the door to action.

Reread important email messages

After you compose an email, pause for a few breaths. Then reread it from the receiver’s point of view.

How will your words land? Is your message clear? Is your tone what you intended?

Reflect and make any changes.

It’s hard to do this with every message, so try it with the important ones you send this week.

Start simple. Choose one practice to try this week.

You don’t need to change your whole workday.

Just begin with one small pause and see what happens.

If this resonated, you might enjoy The Pocket Pause—a free daily text with gentle reminders to pause, breathe, and come back to what matters.

Yet it’s draining to please people all the time.

Kindness and generosity are beautiful.

People pleasing is exhausting.

It’s important to remember that you have choices. You can start small and let go of seeking approval.

If this resonates, you might explore a few small practices this week...

Identify your needs and priorities

If you’re not clear on what matters most to you, it’s easy to get caught in people pleasing. Other people’s needs and priorities become your own.

Yet your needs matter. And your priorities shape your life.

Take time to journal on these questions:

• What do you need on a daily, weekly, and monthly rhythm in order to be your best self? (To do your best work and love your people well.)

• In small, doable ways, how can you prioritize these needs?

• What do you value most in life? What is most important to you?

• Is what you value aligned with your daily actions? Are there small, doable changes you can make?

• Given your needs and priorities, where are you willing to compromise and where are you not?

Take time

Give yourself space to consider a request. When someone asks you to do something, don’t give an answer right away.

If you can, give yourself 24 hours.

See how the request feels inside you. See how the request fits or doesn’t fit into your life.

No extra apologies or explanations needed

After 24 hours, if the request doesn't feel good inside you, say “no” in a simple, straightforward way.

For example, “I have too much on my plate right now, which means I can’t help out this time.”

Or, if you know it’s a request that won’t ever work, say so: “Saturday mornings are when our family goes hiking, so it’s not a time I can help.”

If you find yourself giving extra explanation or offering an elaborate apology, take a pause. This isn’t necessary. No justification is needed. Be clear and kind.

Bonus practice: Notice in everyday life when you apologize for no reason or when you overexplain a situation. These are bells of mindfulness—little moments to pause and notice. What's going on inside you? What are you feeling?

Gradually practice letting go of the extras.

Empower your speech

Pay attention to words that minimize what you’re saying while speaking (or writing an email).

For example,

• "Just"

• "Kind of/Almost"

• "A little bit"

• "I could be wrong, but..."

It’s empowering to remove these words.

Your ideas and perspectives matter. Trust in yourself.

Be willing to sit in discomfort

The reality is that not everyone will like and respect you, which is often less about you than it is about the other people.

Relationships are complicated. There will be times when someone is upset with you.

If you’re clear on your priorities and feel you acted skillfully, then there’s nothing more you can do.

You can’t control the feelings and behaviors of another person.

It’s uncomfortable when there’s a relationship strain. Yet you have the capacity to sit in that discomfort.

Remember: You’re allowed to take up space in your own life.

It’s helpful to have a meditation for those uncomfortable times...

5-minute meditation

Your needs matter. Your priorities are important.

You can be kind and generous, and still say “no.”

If this resonated, you might enjoy The Pocket Pause—a free daily text with gentle reminders to pause, breathe, and come back to what matters.

The Dalai Lama often speaks about “human being to human being.” No superiority or inferiority—just people.

He shares a Tibetan prayer:

Whenever I see someone, may I never feel superior. From the depth of my heart, may I appreciate the person in front of me.

Often, the person in front of you is you.

Humility involves both/and rather than either/or…

• Appreciate others and appreciate yourself.

• You are essential and you’re not a big deal.

• Your life matters and you’re part of a massive universe.

Desmond Tutu writes:

Humility allows us to celebrate the gifts of others… without denying our own.

Arrogance and shame are two sides of the same coin. Both narrow your view and close your heart.

In humility, you drop both. It’s a middle path of openness and curiosity.

What a relief to let go of needing to be special—or of feeling not enough. You can simply be as you are.

Humility isn’t an idea; it’s something you practice. Here are a few ways to explore it this week:

Appreciation

Pay attention to the people in your life: family, friends, coworkers, neighbors, service workers.

What do they do well? Where are their unique gifts?

Give specific, heartfelt appreciation. Instead of “thank you,” try “I appreciate the way you…”

It’s an attention and presence practice—and a gift to the receiver. They feel seen.

Am I sure?

On autopilot, we can feel certain—about our opinions, our beliefs, the “right way” to do something.

Ellen Langer calls certainty a “cruel mind state.” It narrows your view and constricts your heart.

Try asking, “Am I sure?”

This question opens curiosity and possibility. It can even bring a bit of lightness, especially when you’re holding something tightly.

When you loosen your grip on being right, you make more room for presence and joy.

One hard thing, one good thing

Honor the difficult parts of life and notice the good.

Each day, reflect on something hard. What challenged you? Where did you meet an edge or make a mistake? Honor it. You’re human—and it’s okay.

Then reflect on something good. Where did you experience connection, ease, beauty, or kindness? What did you do well? Celebrate the good stuff.

You can invite others into this, too—at the dinner table, on a walk, or before bed. Share one hard thing and one good thing.

You’re all beautifully human.

If you’d like, you can pause here and try a 5-minute humility meditation.

5-minute meditation

Humility is recognizing your goodness without making yourself such a big deal.

Let humility guide you this week.

You are of the earth—grounded, human, and enough.

If this resonated, you might enjoy The Pocket Pause—a free daily text with gentle reminders to pause, breathe, and come back to what matters.

A demanding project. A family responsibility. A decision that matters.

Yet we’re often so busy disliking stress that we rarely pause to look at it.

Today, let’s look directly at stress.

Stress is a mismatch between the demands placed on you and your capacity to respond to those demands. You don’t yet have the external or internal resources you need.

This is hard!

I recently came across a quote that resonated deeply:

“Stress is part of the price we pay for living a life that matters.”  

– Jennifer Taitz

If you live according to your core values, stress will show up.

This is good news! It means you’re living life true.

That’s the first re-frame for today: Look at stress as an indicator that you’re living a meaningful life.

If you chose to disconnect, not challenge yourself, or stay small, you might remove stress but you won’t experience growth, purpose, and joy.

Stress occurs, no getting around it, so how can we work with it?

Here are three things to try…

reframe the challenge

When you feel challenged by a work project, creative endeavor, or new caretaking role, it’s natural to think, “Can I do this?” Yet a more empowering reframe is “How can I do this?”

The reality is that you can take on the challenge (especially if it’s inline with your core values), you just need to brainstorm how you’ll do it. You could ask for help, get necessary training, or set boundaries.

You can do this—reflect on how.

shift “nervous” to “excited”

Fear and excitement feel similar in your body. Butterflies in the stomach, heart beating fast, tingling on the skin.

How you interpret these signals makes a difference.

Instead of thinking, “I’m nervous,” reframe it as “I’m excited!” Your body is doing what it needs to prepare you. Let the excitement inspire you to move forward.

use a simple Worry List

Worries can keep you up at night, so be proactive with your concerns.

Before bed, jot down three columns in your journal:

• Worries – everything you’re thinking about

• Next Steps – one small thing you can do

• Good Things – any wins, big or small

This practice clears your mind and reminds you that you’ve got it covered.

Choose one of these practices to try this week. See what happens.

Stress will still arise. That’s part of living a life that matters.

Moving through it builds resilience and strength.

You can do this. Your work matters. Your life matters.

We need your light in this world.

Enjoy this 5-minute meditation to support your practice:

You can find more free, helpful guided meditations on my Meditation page to keep building calm and resilience every day.

I lead a 90-minute mindfulness group for residents. It’s a space where people can be vulnerable. Through meditation, they begin to know all parts of themselves. This creates room for forgiveness—and genuine change.

I also have individual visits, where I hear stories of generational trauma, abuse, neglect, addiction, and incarceration. If I went through what they went through, I’d likely also be in prison.

One of those people is G, a young Black man from Milwaukee. He came to the group curious and also afraid.

In our first 1:1 visit, he asked me,
“How do you speak so easily in front of everyone? I have so much fear. Whenever the check-in comes around to me, I feel anxious.”

I encouraged him to keep practicing. And he did.

G showed up for group, committed to meditation, and slowly started to believe in himself.

Over time, more of his story emerged. He was ignored and neglected as a child and eventually entered the foster system. His foster parents abused him and convinced him it was his fault.

After hearing this, I looked G in the eyes and said,
“You didn’t deserve the mistreatment. A child should be loved and protected. You didn’t do anything wrong. This is not your fault. You’re lovable just as you are.”

He looked at me, wide-eyed, and said,
“No one has ever said that to me before.”

In that moment, something shifted. He could see himself differently.

G kept doing the internal work. Because of required programming, he eventually had to leave the mindfulness group. But I met with him just before his release.

He looked different—more open, confident, and grounded.

His plans after release were to get a barber’s license and connect with young men in similar situations, helping them see another path.

He was excited for release and confident he’d never step foot in prison again.

I think of G often—how deeply change became possible once he could see his own worth.

It’s powerful to reflect people’s goodness back to them. It may seem obvious, but often it’s not. Many people carry a distorted view of who they are.

When we remind people of their light, we give them permission to be real and whole.

Each of us has been wounded. The unloved places within us can snarl back at the world. But when we meet those places with kindness, they soften and real connection becomes possible.

Today, be kind to your wounded parts.
Be kind to the wounded parts of others.
Look for the light in each other.

That’s where connection happens.

If this resonated, you might enjoy The Pocket Pause—a free daily text with gentle reminders to pause, breathe, and come back to what matters.

We just recorded our winter episode, filled with candor, warmth, and a few nuggets of inspiration.

Make your favorite beverage and have a listen:

🎧 Seasons of Joy: Winter

After three hours, the group energy was calm, clear, and loving. Everyone had small yet important steps forward. I came home feeling inspired and hopeful.

Yesterday, friends from Chicago shared stories about ICE agents doing horrific things. Pulling people from cars, beating them senseless, pointing guns at the crowd, targeting schools and traumatizing children. The horror and injustice is more than a heart can take, yet it’s happening all over our country.

Today, in the Oshkosh prison mindfulness circle, we had a grief ceremony. Each person spoke about people they love who have died—deaths happening while they were behind bars, unable to mourn. Some residents shed tears for the first time, held by the group. It was hard and beautiful and deeply connecting.

We live in strange times, where we must hold two things at once in our heart: People are good and loving AND some people do heinous things.

With so little we can control in our harsh, chaotic, unjust government, we’re left with how we interact with people in our daily lives.

How can we help people be their best selves?

How can we listen and love?

How can we wisely use our voice for people who are voiceless?

Every interaction matters. You may be the light that lifts someone up; the person who makes a small yet measurable difference.

T shared this…

It's been hard for me to face difficult emotions. I took them out on other people or escaped into drugs. But when I finally looked at the hateful things people said to me as a kid (e.g., you're worthless, you’ll never amount to anything), I realized they weren’t true. I didn’t have to believe them. I just needed to hug that younger version of myself.

As he spoke, tears welled up in his eyes. He paused for a while, choked up.

M, another group member, brought him a roll of toilet paper (prison version of kleenex).

Another prisoner said, "it's okay, let it out."

T continued:

I felt emotional—just like this—when I first understood I could live differently. It's changed me. I like how we rubbed our arms during the meditation. It reminded me of my older sister rocking me when I was a child.

Whatever our upbringing, loving or traumatic, we've all experienced loneliness, shame, hurt, fear, and embarrassment. It's particularly hard for a kid. And it's the young child inside us who really wants a hug.

As babies, we're good. We're born good.

To live in this complex world, we develop unhelpful coping strategies, but our essence is good.

It's beneficial to picture ourselves (and the world!) as newborn babies. We all start out good. And we're trying to get back there.

Kindness is the pathway back.

Kindness inward, kindness outward.

We assume others are more creative, more compassionate, more wise.

Recently, during a pastoral visit in prison, I sat with J—as I’ve done many times before. His life story is the hardest I’ve ever heard: relentless abuse, trauma, and loss. Yet somehow, he’s emerged transformed.

Still, he’s in a dark place.

He’s tired. Tired of rebuilding after each depression.

He knows he’s resilient, but it’s getting harder to keep going.

I look J in the eyes, honoring his deep pain, and say:

J, you make a difference in this hell-realm of prison.

You’re a refuge—because you value listening, care, and friendship.

You underestimate your impact.

But your kindness, your awareness, your respectful presence—it changes people.

Even when you feel stuck in the dark, you’re a light for others.

Tears come to his eyes.

His own goodness revealed.

J inspires me.

He’s a steady, caring presence in a place filled with fear and anger.

His very essence—what he sees as “unworthy”—brings calm and connection.

And when that goodness is reflected back to him, he weeps.

He thinks it’s other people doing good work—not him.

This is a humble path we walk.

Aggrandizing our impact is harmful.

But minimizing it is also harmful.

If you do the work—if you’re present, compassionate, real—you make a difference.

You might never see it.

You might never know.

But you do.

This work is messy and imperfect.

You’ll screw up (we all do!).

But when your intention is love and connection, something powerful happens.

Your impact doesn’t come from what you do—it comes from who you are.

From how you carry yourself.

From how you navigate this complicated world with heart.

So please—keep doing the work.

Even when it’s hard.

Especially when it’s hard.

We need it now more than ever.

My third 1:1 was with C, who lost his mom a year ago. Losing a loved one is even more painful when incarcerated. You feel helpless, disconnected, and ashamed.

Through tears, C spoke of how painful it is to think of his mom dying alone, no one to hold her hand. He’s the oldest child and he should have been with her.

We explored his regret, much of which was unnecessary, unkind judgment. (This is not atypical in prison.) C called her every week. He sent her cards. He listened and supported her.

In group, we’ve discussed and practiced forgiveness. I asked him about forgiving himself.

He can forgive some things. He knows how traumatic and painful his childhood was; how that pain led to unskillful actions. He understands.

But then he firmly said,

“I can’t forgive myself for not going deeper with my mom. I stayed on the surface. I never told her how much I appreciated her working two jobs to feed and house us. I didn’t share from my heart.”

“I don’t share that way with anyone. But I’m changing now. I’m going deeper with my sister and niece. It feels important.”

C memorializes his mom by being real, not pretending he’s okay when he’s not. And by sharing why and how he loves people. He cried more in that 1:1 than in all the others combined.

This is a beautiful, poignant reminder to not wait. Don’t hold back the love. Don’t hold back the appreciation. Don’t wait.

Tell people you love them. Tell people the small and big ways you appreciate them. Tell people how you really are.

We all want to love and be loved.

In the words of Father Greg Boyle, “What’s the next most loving thing I can do?”

During our mindfulness group, we sit in a circle, volunteers and inmates together. We begin with meditation and then check in—honest sharing about what’s up for us.

My first few check-ins were raw: the relationship between meditation and grief, the pain of loss. After everyone shares, there’s time for general discussion.

One group member, R, looked right at me and told a story from his previous incarceration.

He went to a parole hearing, not expecting much but received wonderful news: he’d be released in a week. Freedom! R was giddy.

When he got back to his cell, there stood “white shirts.” (Blue shirts are guards; white shirts are administration.) R immediately thought, “Oh no, something happened, and they reversed the decision.” But that wasn’t the news.

The two men in white shirts said, “We’re sorry son, but your mom has died.”

This took R’s breath away. His mom was his best friend. She was the first person he wanted to call with his good news.

On the same day, two extremes occurred: R received his freedom and his mother lost her life.

Through tears, he said—still looking straight at me—that for the next week he bounced between joy and grief. And that strange juxtaposition helped him heal.

His genuine wish for me was that I find beauty and growth within my grief. He believed that was possible.

The whole group sat silent, witnessing this exchange. Both me and R in tears.

R is right. We live in a world where we experience deep loss and amazing beauty. We witness injustice and courageous action. And joy sometimes springs from our grief.

All of this belongs.

All of us belong.

Instead, I’ll post hopeful stories from Oshkosh Correctional.

I volunteer in prison in two capacities: leading a secular mindfulness group and holding 1:1 visits.

The sharing within group is powerful: courage, wisdom, and vulnerability. Yet the sharing in pastoral visits goes deeper. In a safe, confidential space, incarcerated folks open their hearts and share their stories.

I bear witness to cycles of violence, neglect, and abuse. Men imprisoned for violence were beaten up as kids. Men incarcerated for drug use were surrounded by drugs and neglect as children. It’s a harsh, heartbreaking reality, yet these are the cycles of humanity.

Still, some people transform the cycles and it’s inspiring to witness.

Research shows that kids who experience trauma(s) are more resilient if at least one solid, caring adult is in their life. I ask prisoners, “Growing up, was there anyone in your life who was dependable, supportive, and kind?”

Often, the answer is a hesitant “no”: “Well, I guess my mom is that, but she’s still pretty mean,” “Maybe my grandma, but she never writes,” “Not my dad, I never knew him.”

Another harsh reality: We volunteers may be the first caring people an incarcerated person interacts with. This is what keeps us going inside, through metal detectors and big steel doors. We hope to be a dependable, kind presence in these men’s lives.

Yet this isn’t a story about us specifically. It could be anyone going into prison, supporting the inmates. It could be anyone serving people in need. It could be anyone showing up for friends in grief, transition, or difficulty.

This is a reminder of how we impact each other—not just our loved ones but people we don’t know very well.

We have daily opportunities to be kind. They may seem small and unimportant, but that’s where we create change.

In a fearful world, kindness matters. Listening matters. Curiosity, love, and understanding matter.

You never know the exact moment when you’re the person who positively and significantly impacts another person's life.

One of my flower beds was infiltrated by grass, so I started cleaning it up—shoveling out big clumps of sod and replacing it with plants.

The more I looked around, the more grass I saw. My digging (and my thoughts) got angrier and angrier. “I hate this grass!”

It was an extreme reaction to a well-meaning flower bed. Quickly, I realized: I’m not angry at the grass, I’m angry (enraged!) at our government.

In that moment, I felt a tongue on my face. My dog, Luna, senses when I’m frustrated. She tries to calm me with loving face licks.

Immediately, my rage turned to laughter. I willingly fell to the ground and Luna crawled on top of me.

As we lay on the grass, I realized: I’m mad because I’m so sad. I feel sad at my core. I let myself cry (which prompted even more face licks).

Millions of people are being harmed by the decisions of our government and there’s nothing I can do about it.

It’s natural to feel sad and helpless. Although anger feels empowering, it’s not. It’s exhausting.

I need these reminders to feel and metabolize the grief.

We’re all impacted by what’s happening. Our collective nervous system is jacked up. Our hearts hurt.

Give yourself space to feel the feels. Cry the tears.

This connects you to humanity.

And it opens you back up to love, compassion, and joy.

While there’s no quick fix, there are things we can do. These practices can keep you grounded…

GET OUTSIDE

Research affirms that nature soothes us. It calms our nervous system.

Plus, it reminds us that things change. Winter turns into spring, spring into summer. Nothing lasts forever. The natural world has endured horrendous storms. We will, too.

Get outside. Walk through a park, hike in the woods, look up at the sky.

LIMIT NEWS

After the election, I went on a news freeze (and felt so much better!). I’ve dipped back in, mostly to stay informed on ways I can help.

The news is a rabbit hole of rage, disbelief, and sadness. Choose one or two trusted places to curate your news and limit your intake. (For example, no news after 8p.)

It’s not your responsibility to keep watch over the country. Instead, get offline and serve your community. Do the good right in front of you.

PRIORITIZE JOY

In harrowing times, we can become too serious. If the world’s on fire, we can’t be happy. Yet our best work comes from our joy not our despair.

Laughter is necessary medicine. Fun and play are restorative. Creativity is resistance. We must all prioritize joy, not as a theory, but as a daily practice.

Schedule play dates. Connect with others. Make art. Watch comedy. Dance in the kitchen.

Our country needs your courageous joy.

The seasons happen around us and they unfold within us.

Each season has difficulties and joys. We need the light and dark, warm and cold, starkness and abundance to keep us balanced.

My friend, Stacy Parish, and I are collaborating on a series called, Seasons of Joy. Short minisodes for Stacy’s podcast.

We just recorded our winter session. What’s hard, what’s good, and how we’re taking care of ourselves.

Listen to a soundbite…

Click here to listen to the full minisode.

More and more people are turning to mindfulness to help manage stress, anxiety, and inner conflict, which can be typical aspects of daily life. 

By this, we mean that back-and-forth between our thoughts, feelings, or choices, which can leave us stressed and exhausted. Mindfulness offers a powerful way to address this by bringing us into the moment and helping us focus on the present. 

These days there is growing interest in mindfulness meditation, for both body and mind. Practicing mindfulness doesn’t just calm the mind, it helps us to tackle life’s challenges more clearly and calmly. This also helps us to manage stress, work through our inner turmoil, and feel more grounded in everyday life. 

The good news is that it’s easy to start on your own and something that everyone can include in their daily life.

What is Mindfulness and How Can it Help with Inner Conflict?

Mindfulness is the practice of paying full attention to the present moment without judgment. It’s about tuning in to and accepting your thoughts and emotions, instead of worrying about the past or future. Mindfulness is about “being” rather than constantly “doing”, which can make a big difference when dealing with inner conflict.

Being present is one of the most powerful ways to reduce anxiety and create emotional balance. When we’re focused on the present, we’re less likely to get caught up in thoughts about what might happen or regrets about the past. Instead, mindfulness grounds us in what’s happening now, helping us to accept life as it unfolds rather than getting caught up in worries.

Over time, this increased self-awareness makes it easier to face the difficult emotions and inner conflict we feel. If you’re interested in diving deeper into mindfulness techniques, check out this post for more tips on how to include mindfulness in everyday life.

Step-by-Step Guide to Practicing Mindfulness

If you’re new to mindfulness, knowing how to get started might feel overwhelming, but it’s a really simple practice that anyone can try. Here’s a quick, step-by-step guide to help you begin:

• Find a quiet space: Choose a calm, comfortable spot where you won’t be disturbed for a few minutes.

• Get comfortable and close your eyes: Sit or lie down in a relaxed position. Close your eyes if that feels comfortable; this can help limit distractions.

• Take a few deep breaths: Start by taking slow, deep breaths to help settle your mind. Feel your chest and belly rise and fall with each breath.

• Focus on your breathing: Pay attention to your breath. Notice each inhale and exhale, and how it feels as air flows in and out of your body.

• If your mind wanders, gently return your focus: When this happens, simply notice the distraction and gently bring your attention back to your breath without any judgment.

• Notice thoughts and sensations: Observe any thoughts, feelings, or sensations that arise. Acknowledge them, but let them pass without getting caught up in them.

• End with gratitude: When you’re ready to finish, take one last deep breath, open your eyes, and take a moment to appreciate the time you spent on yourself.

Practicing these steps regularly, even just for a few minutes each day, can help you build a stronger mindfulness practice over time.

Daily Practices to Bring Mindfulness Into Your Life

Incorporating mindfulness into your everyday routine can make a big difference to how you feel, and how you handle the more stressful parts of life. Here are some simple ways to practice mindfulness daily:

• Mindful Eating: During meals, try focusing on the texture and taste of each bite. Learn to savor your food without distractions, like screens or multitasking. This keeps you grounded in the moment, allowing you to fully enjoy your meal as a peaceful pause in your day.

• Mindful Walking: As you walk, pay attention to each step - the way your feet touch the ground, the rhythm of your movements, and your surroundings. This practice can turn even a short walk into a peaceful, grounding experience.

• Mindful Breathing: Take a moment throughout the day to focus on your breath, especially if you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and notice your breath entering and leaving your body. Even a few deep breaths can help you reset and refocus.

• Mindful Listening: When talking with others, practice being fully present. Listen without planning your response or letting your mind wander. This type of focused listening not only makes the other person feel valued but also helps you to stay grounded and connected.

• Mindful Journaling: Take a moment to write down your thoughts without judgment. As you write, pay attention to your emotions and thoughts, acknowledging them without getting lost in them. This practice helps clear your mind, reduce anxiety, and gain clarity about what you’re feeling, which helps to process your emotions.

How Mindfulness Calms an Anxious Mind

Mindfulness is a powerful tool for calming an anxious mind by moving our attention away from thoughts about the past or future and bringing our focus back to the present moment. 

Anxiety often strikes when we’re caught up in worries about things that aren’t happening right now, so mindfulness helps us to notice our thoughts without getting stuck on them, gently bringing our focus back to what's happening right now.

Mindfulness is thought to help relax the body physically by lowering stress hormones and calming the nervous system. Mentally, it allows us to step back from our thoughts and inner conflicts to see things more clearly without feeling overwhelmed. 

With regular practice, mindfulness can make it easier to handle stress and understand our feelings, making us less likely to become overwhelmed. 

When you’re feeling anxious, here are some mindfulness exercises that will help calm your mind:

Deep breathing

This simple mindfulness practice helps to bring your focus back to your body. Begin by inhaling for a count of four, holding for four, and exhaling for four. Repeat this pattern for a few minutes. This slows your heart rate and calms the nervous system.

Body scan meditation

This meditation practice and form of Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction shifts your focus from anxious thoughts to noticing the physical sensation of your breath, and any tension in your body. Start at your feet and slowly work your way up, noticing any sensations without judging. This mindfulness meditation practice is grounding and great for easing anxiety.

Check in with your senses

This quick exercise helps you connect to the present moment by focusing on your senses. When anxiety is high, stop and look around and name five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. This grounds you in the present moment and stops you from flitting from thought to thought.

Overcoming Common Mindfulness Challenges

Starting a mindfulness practice can feel challenging, and it’s normal to encounter obstacles along the way. Many people find themselves frustrated when their minds wander and they can’t keep focused. If this happens, remember that it’s normal for your mind to wander. Instead of getting frustrated, acknowledge the distraction and return your focus to your breath. Each time you do this, you’ll find your focus gradually improves.

Another common challenge is feeling impatient. You might feel like you’re not progressing or seeing any benefits of mindfulness. It’s important to remind yourself that mindfulness is a skill that develops over time, and there’s no need to rush. Consistently practicing mindfulness over time will bring you the most benefits.

Many beginners also struggle with self-criticism. It’s easy to feel like you’re not doing mindfulness “right” or that you’re failing somehow. Be kind to yourself—mindfulness is about observing rather than judging. 

When you’re new to mindfulness, keeping still can feel challenging. It’s okay to feel discomfort, it’s part of the process. If this is an issue for you, start with shorter sessions, or try other forms of mindful movement. 

The Benefits of Practicing Mindfulness Regularly

Regular mindfulness practice can make a big difference to your emotional and psychological well-being. It helps reduce stress, calm the mind, and promote emotional balance. Mindfulness allows you to focus on the present moment, which not only improves concentration but also lowers stress levels and enhances overall mental clarity.

Consistently practicing mindfulness will help with inner conflict by showing us how to notice our thoughts and feelings without letting them take control. Instead of reacting to something straight away, we learn to pause and notice, which makes it easier to handle our emotions calmly. 

Over time, this practice helps us feel more at peace, instead of feeling like we’re constantly fighting with ourselves.

Starting Your Mindfulness Journey

Adding mindfulness to your day can make a huge difference and leave you feeling calmer, more balanced, and better at dealing with inner struggles. A few minutes each day can help you manage stress, focus better, and feel more at peace with inner conflict. Starting with small steps and being consistent with your practice over time will allow you to see bigger changes.

If you’re ready to explore mindfulness more, check out the Gareth Michael podcast, Spiritual Practicality.

Author Bio

Gareth Michael is a spiritual coach, teacher, channel of Michael, and author of the best-selling book Ever-changing Perspectives. He provides tangible, practical spiritual support stemming from his own life lessons and Michael’s profound wisdom and teachings. His personalized guidance helps people heal, find their spiritual direction, and understand their purpose. Follow Gareth on X and listen to his podcast, Practical Spirituality.

This is a space where you can show up just as you are. I see you. I believe in you. We can move through the grief together…

Feel the feels

Likely, you feel a range of emotions: rage, sadness, disappointment, numbness, hurt, exhaustion. These are normal. They’re part of the grief cycle.

It’s important to feel these feelings. If you bypass them now, they’ll come back later.

Consider where you feel most supported. A walk in the woods. A friend’s living room. Snuggling with your pet.

In one of these spaces, let yourself feel. No need to force it—there’s no blueprint to follow—simply open up. See what happens. It all belongs.

This process takes time (it’s not a one and done). Be mindful of your experience the next few weeks. Grief may show up in surprising places. Again, it’s normal.

While your heart is tender, it’s okay to set boundaries. (You don’t have to “love everyone” right away.) Set boundaries with people, news, and social media.

Create a container for yourself, so you can begin to heal. You will return to love when you’re ready.

Shift from why to how

To distract from big emotions, you might get lost in thoughts. Yet spinning out in your mind doesn’t feel good—it creates tension and anxiety.

Notice if you’re asking “why..?” questions. For example, “Why did this happen?”

Shift your thinking to “how…?” questions. For example, “How will I take care of myself over the next four years?” or “How can I support the institutions I believe in?”

Why keeps you ruminating; how empowers you to make change.

Connect to core values

This hurts deeply because your core values were violated. The anger and sadness are guideposts to what matters most to you. Instead of gripping your pain, metabolize it by living from your values.

For example…

• Actively support organizations that align with your core values.

• Create regular, intentional community around your values. (A community can be you and one other person.)

• Look for good work currently being done in your area. Talk to others about this good work.

There’s so much that’s out of your control. Focus on your square footage of the world.

Do the good right in front of you. You make a unique contribution. Put your energy there.

To help with this process, I recorded a short meditation. Get as comfortable as you can and have a listen…

This is natural. Our lives ebb and flow.

Still, I think there’s a nagging issue underneath. To illuminate the issue, I’ll draw from the research of Oliver Burkeman and Devon Price.

Price, a social psychologist, wrote the book, Laziness Does Not Exist. According to him:

The laziness lie is a belief system that says hard work is morally superior to relaxation and that people who aren't productive have less innate value than productive people.

It’s an unspoken yet commonly held set of beliefs and values. It affects how we work, how we set limits in our relationships, and our views on what life is supposed to be about.

The laziness lie is fueled by three core beliefs (all of which are untrue!)...

• Your worth is your productivity.

• You cannot trust your own feelings or limits.

• There's always more that you could be doing.

Price beautifully articulates the flaws in each of these beliefs.

You can read more in his book, but for now take a deep breath and trust that you’re worthy just as you are, it’s important to listen to your body’s limits, and doing more is not a pathway to happiness.

What a relief!

Still, our culture encourages us to work and strive and be more productive. No wonder it’s hard to find meaning and purpose!

Burkeman is a journalist who wrote the book, Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals.

Here’s what he found after hours and hours of research and experimentation: There’s no time management system that works; you have 4000 weeks in your finite, precious life; you can’t do it all, so focus on what matters most.

He writes:

Once you’re no longer burdened by an unrealistic definition of a life well spent, you're free to consider the possibility that many more things than you’d previously imagined might qualify as meaningful ways to use your finite time.

From this new perspective, it becomes possible to see that preparing nutritious meals for your children might matter as much as anything could ever matter, even if you won’t be winning any cooking awards, or that your novel’s worth writing if it moves or entertains a handful of your contemporaries, even though you know you’re no Tolstoy, or that virtually any career might be a worthwhile way to spend a working life, if it makes things slightly better for those it serves.

Let’s put these two research results together:

Beliefs from the laziness lie skew what you think is meaningful. When you let go of the lie (and the idea that you can find more time), you see meaning and purpose that exist in your ordinary daily life.

Walking your dog has meaning.

Dancing in the kitchen with your kids has meaning.

Weeding your garden has meaning.

Resting on the couch doing nothing has meaning.

Helping your neighbor has meaning.

It’s hard to ground ourselves in these truths when our society says differently, but we can do it together!

It’s communities just like this one that change the world.

We create a new way of doing and being.

Celebrate all the ways you find meaning and purpose in daily life!

You’re all making a difference. This difference doesn’t come from you being productive. It comes from you being real, present, and loving.

We painted rocks while sharing thoughts about life and death, honoring loved ones, and posing questions.

There was freedom in talking about death in such an open way. Making art next to each other, we had an easy connection.

Hard topics became pliable. New insights arose.

As we experience summer abundance, we often shove down grief and mourning. Put it off until later.

Yet summer can hold our feelings. It’s big and alive. A perfect place for working with death, especially as we shift into fall.

Grief is our internal experience. The rollercoaster of emotions that happen when a loved one dies.

Mourning is how we metabolize grief. Outward expressions of remembrance and connection.

These occur around death, yet they also appear with loss in general. Loss of a job, relationship, physical capability, creative endeavor, or community.

Reflect on your recent losses. Is there mourning you need to do?

The beautiful thing about mourning is it can take any form. It’s yours to shape and mold.

Mourning can be a ceremony or a new tradition; it can be a creative expression; it can be a hike in the woods.

Death and loss are powerful. They demand our attention.

It’s important to feel the feels (all of them!). They all belong.

And it’s important to metabolize these emotions, so you can take a few steps forward.

Make space for mourning. Let the natural world hold you.

Remember you’re surrounded by a world that understands grief. It’s expressed differently by everyone, but it’s a shared experience.

How do you want to remember, celebrate, create, cry, laugh, connect or dance?

There’s space for mourning. Trust in the abundance of this summer to fall transition.

And be gentle with your tender, brave heart.

We receive loud and regular messages from society: Do more. This is urgent. Reply right away. Hustle, hustle, hustle.

Notice how you feel reading these words. It doesn't feel good to rush.

These cultural messages are unkind and they're untrue!

Rarely are things urgent.

Take a deep breath (let your exhale be audible, like a big sigh).

You have time.

You have space.

You are doing great!

Today, rewire the urgency habit.

Look at your list of work/home tasks for the day.

You're not going to complete it all and that's okay!

Choose the three most important things on your list.

Rearrange the other tasks—move them to another day or delete them altogether (are you doing things you don't need to do?).

Give your attention to what's most important.

Yet remember that even important tasks are not urgent.

You can make progress without rushing.

Throughout this day, take 3-breath pauses. Let your outbreath be long and audible. Thirty seconds of space.

5-Minute Meditation

Your attention is a precious resource. Pay attention with intention. Focus on what matters most.

You'll forget (you're human!) and you can begin again.