Back when I was fifteen, I won a state medal for history and geography. At the time, an extended family member (my older cousin’s husband, a hardworking and successful software engineer) made fun of me, expecting me to only excel at math or strictly science.

But the thing is, a love of these subjects is essentially a love of exploration and discovery, a thirst for knowledge, and a desire to understand:

• human origins

• human development and connections

• human choices and decision-making

• the scope and scale of what we’ve achieved

• where we have traveled

& specifically at home, in the United States, without a doubt —  a love of the frontier. : ) It is guided by a gentle curiosity.

Knowledge is not limited to a singular subject. It is helpful to have deep and specific expertise, no doubt. We live in a specialized world.
However, it is in learning many things that you understand better and better how things work, their origins, how they came to be and most of all, what is possible.

It also ties into my love of physics. We are, after all, made of stars. ✨

Here's one of my favorites — Admont Abbey in Austria — Benedictine monastery between Salzburg and Graz. This lovely sanctuary for reading has a beautiful late Baroque style with white and rose, gilded accoutrements and light finish, and most importantly, so many books! It’s truly a place of beauty and respite, a haven for the mind and spirit.

That same year, my dad took me to see Wayne Gretzky play for the Oilers🏒🥅 

I was 5 🧒 

“I skate to where the puck is going to be, not where it has been.” : D

An athlete’s mindset. 💝 ⭐️ 

When they would arrive, my mom or my older brother would read them to me as I was two and three years old at the time.

Looking back, I think that was one of many reasons I was impatient to read everything on my own. :)

Then I wrote my first short book 📖 at four years old.

I look forward now to this journey with my own child. ❤️ ✨

With such a fabulous beginning, the parents I had, and their parents and my mom’s family with their deep knowledge, gentle teaching and constant literary discussions,

how could I not be an author ✍️ today?

Kisses 💋

Here’s a letter Albert Einstein wrote to his son, Hans. 😊

“It is not who I am underneath but what I do that defines me.”

A movie that affected me deeply was ‘Ordinary People’ by Robert Redford. This movie is a favorite of my mom’s. We watched it together when I was 15. I remember looking at her beautiful, sensitive face and seeing how it affected her.

Looking back, my mom has influenced my love of storytelling more than anyone from the very beginning. She also has taught me more about character development, subtleties, good humor, and intriguing plots than any class, director, or actor I have ever met.

Here’s an image I updated from AQR international (found online) for my own use. You might find value too.

Due to popular demand, when I put out my book 📖 later this year, I am also adding a playbook or companion guide, Rules for A Knight / Lady. : D

🛡️❤️ ⚔️😇

Happy to say I am finally working on my book 📖. Good to focus 🧘‍♀️ and create.

Learning a ton and super happy about it.

On another note, I am inspired by Gerrit Cole, NY Yankees pitcher.

What a focus. 😇 What a talent. ❤️✨🏆

He got my attention. 92MPH. ⚾️🎯✨

Loved baseball ⚾️ as a kid. Happy to reconnect in recent times.

In a simpler way too, it also gets a lot of ideas out of your head and thus clears your mind for bigger thoughts and frees your mind from obsessing or ruminating too much, eliminates the anxiety that may accompany that, and organizes your mind.

Now I just need my lab 🥼 so I can build anything. ⭐️ 💫

while your body heals and repairs itself,

and your mind tries to gently untangle any knots of the day and to restore you to equanimity and peace.

In this space, in this “time,” you also connect to an infinite body of knowledge . 💭 

Are you curious like me to understand what this invisible yet ever-present reservoir of knowledge is?

Some thoughts 💭

✨What beauty can we create?

🏆What value can we generate?

😊 What joy can we give?

This mysterious & compelling photo on Bing today of Kirkjufell, Snæfellsnes peninsula, Iceland looks like something I dreamed of, about 20 years ago. At the time I told my friend Gunnar, who said was good I had not yet written my book I intended at 15, as now I could include this. He’s right. So amazing though isn’t it? When you see something in your mind’s eye and you dream of things, and then they exist, or come to be (even better!), it is very special. ✨

You know you love something when you can do it at any time in the quiet of your life and you cannot wait to re-engage. :)

Today what can I do given I have spent so much time living on this planet? Well I can apply that love of physics! My studies now may have to be on my own and expedited, which is how I learn anyways...but in applying this and even in talking about it, I will say I am in heaven. 

Physics ✨ is everything. ⭐️

He is not with us anymore.*

But I am.

He lives in me.* 🔥

I may not have achieved much in my life thus far and made so many mistakes, I cannot even count them all!! But I will surely make up for that time now. I have to and I will. ⭐️

Love is the greatest thing on this planet. It can motivate you to be better and to reach higher and to believe in yourself. The prize is irrelevant. It is the willingness to REACH that matters. In doing that, you grow and manifest who you are. The love is what drives it!

I love this old post we shared at Elf last year! I loved physics from 7th to 9th grade. AP-ed out for fast-track pre-med. But now I am discovering new parts I love again! It is wonderful and eye-opening.

https://www.nobelprize.org/prizes/physics/2021/parisi/184861-parisi-interview-february-2022/

I relate to Giorgio Parisi and like his gentle humor. :) He reminds me of my mom’s family - the spirit of intellectual curiosity and discussion we always had. I look forward to meeting him someday. :)

Since I first wrote this post, I have had quite a few personal epiphanies and grown a lot in ways I needed to. Looking back, if I were to do things again, I would have majored in physics and computer science, played in a band on the weekend, and gone to MIT. After graduating high school, I wanted a broader liberal arts education and science. Emory was a good fit for this, but MIT or Stanford would have been better for me. Along that note, I should have gone to college at 13 and finished by 17. I was always fast...and forever slowing down. I deserved to go at full speed in my studies and many other aspects and not hold myself back.

Looking back, I did not want to upset some difficult people — both in my direct family and associations. I sacrificed a lot for them. I do not regret ever doing good, but giving up things I excel in to please anyone is wrong.

On that note, I was engaged to and almost married a guy who just kept taking from me and put me down. I am giving, and my mom raised me to be kind and generous. However, that guy went too far. I took care of him, his family, and his friends - all of them older than me. Going out with him and enduring all those unhealthy people was awful. Not walking away from his parasitic behavior was a mistake I made.

People who really love you will never hold you back from achieving. Passive-aggressive behavior, combined with other destructive behaviors, including being controlling, manipulating and playing the victim, can be terrible to experience. It is also confusing. He would be nice for a few days in a year, and then go back to strange behaviors. I was grateful for the good moments and dreaded the rest. These things harm the psyche. Even my dog did not want to be left alone with him.

He felt insecure and put me down for being intelligent. He compared me to other women and put me down to gain control, even though I was helping him in his life. I even sorted problems out he had with his family and smoothed things out on his behalf.

I know firsthand the horrors of enduring this and how it hurts your confidence. I could teach a masterclass on it — what to avoid.

If I were still in that relationship, I would be constantly apologizing for his behavior and feeling downtrodden while failing to be myself. I'm so grateful to be free of all of it!

Thankfully, I did not marry the guy. Still, it took a while for the scars to heal, to de-clog from all the nonsense I had absorbed, remove all the oppressive experiences from my consciousness, to get back to who I was before I met him and endured him, his family, and all the bad associations he had! I learned the hard way that no matter how good you are and how much good you do, you cannot make anyone good.

Or as Charlie Munger, former Vice Chairman of Berkshire Hathaway, someone I look up to even now after he has passed and whose advice I treasure, says perfectly, “Get toxic people out of your life.”

Two positives from this experience are first, that I speak up for myself better and second, that I recognize the signs of this behavior in people instantly — all in varying degrees — and stay clear.

I also learned that while I was selfless and generous, I still made one enormous mistake — one by omission. It is the fact that I stayed and endured it all. I believe in loyalty, but I also know firsthand that who you choose to be with and ultimately marry has to be your equal. Sacrifice must be a temporary salve, never a permanent fixture of a relationship. I love to heal and rescue, but that is not my primary role in a relationship.

It is wonderful to be needed but to be loved for who you are, valued, and cherished as an equal by your equal, that is the stuff the best marriages have. I have learned a lot since and will probably learn more especially from people with long-lasting, happy marriages with integrity and sweetness.

Like Steve Jobs said perfectly at Stanford in 2005, “Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it.”

With my early good upbringing and abilities and achievements at such a young age, you would have thought I would have achieved so much by now! However, bad company really can set you back. Bad company can include friends and family — anyone exerting a strong influence and possibly control over your life and the decisions you make or accept. You can’t make anyone good, no matter how hard you try. They have to come to you that way.

I learned my lesson and am grateful to have my life back. I have a lot to do and time to make up for!

So now on to better things! My life has improved so much since. I am awake now too : D

From Ted Lasso: “Be a goldfish.” Such simple but incredible advice helps me get unstuck and not ruminate too much on what cannot be changed.

Now, on to happiness and high achievement — without apology and without being less.

From my life, I will say, don’t ever apologize for being bright! ⭐️ Reach up!! As far as you can! 😊💋

I will surely make up for all lost time now.

A love of science is a love of discovery! A love of film is a love of storytelling! A love of music connects you to everything with a heartbeat, and possibly more…

Thinking clearly and being myself today is peaceful. I will never take this freedom for granted again. Like Nikola Tesla, I like to think 💭 in my mind for a while before I create. I am eager to make up for all lost time now!

The more honest I am, the happier and lighter I feel! Simple. 🙏🏻❤️ Frees me up to actually live - now in my middle age! But I hope in telling you all this, it may help you too. 😊

From my own experience and upbringing, I will say do not hold back like I did to fit in or when people took from me without my permission. The only way to handle a bully is to stand up to them. Bullies come in all shapes. You cannot clean someone up of their own negativity — that is their job and being a doormat does not mean you escape it. You cannot make someone good. That person has to come to you good!

Holding yourself back just means you did not use your own abilities nor did you enjoy the journey, discoveries and thrills of your own successes.

Go all the way! Do not hold back. See what you are made of.

And lastly, when you lose, do it gracefully. Enjoy the game.

True freedom lies in going all the way and seeing what you are made of and knowing the only person you are competing with, is yourself. The goal is to be a better version of yourself and to grow! : D

Some time in the next year, I have to make it to Jan Mayen - the island that sounds like my name! It's book 📖✍️ research :)

See when you can give someone a little happiness, whatever it may be. A smile or just listening. That’s a gift. 💝

When you have love in your heart and an inner calm, you can handle life better. ❤️ You can find that calmness from a swim, run, yoga, meditation, a bath, your morning rituals or a walk. ✨

“It has always been easy to hate and destroy. To build and to cherish is much more difficult.” — Queen Elizabeth II, April 21, 1926-Sept 8, 2022.

I have learned a few things from him and from experimenting, but often my photos turn out like this! Ha ha!

It is so easy to remember the negatives and criticism. While improving yourself is a daily goal to work on, it is also important to appreciate what is working. This is something I have only started to even see these days. It will help you so much when the going gets tough. It is a little strength from people who have loved and/or appreciated you. Hold on to that.

But I wanted to say this. In my opinion, the most important thing you can do for your wellbeing is to protect your mind.

Please be careful what you take in and feed your mind positivity and good things. Before you know it, you will feel happy and start to see connections and come up with solutions unexpectedly and easily. The mind is a glorious thing and when you feel loved, you are unstoppable.

It helps in everything.

“Anchor for My Soul” ⚓️❤️ 🌊

“The March”

I hope you feel good and have a nice happy relaxing time. Hugs. It’s been a trying time for a long while now.  

I feel like giving everyone I know and ever met, and even people I am just meeting for the first time now, a hug and checking in to see how they are doing. Been on my mind for a while.

I know Christmas is often about celebrating and that makes sense too at the end of the year and to celebrate life itself! To me, it is also about prayer and giving thanks for all that we have. As each year passes, I feel more aware of that.

Take a loved one and hug them for me. Take good care of yourself! Hugs to you and stay well!

Merry merry Christmas! 

Here’s a favorite song of mine - “Always on My Mind” by Willie Nelson. It's so good. I loved this as a kid. ❤️ Try closing your eyes and having a listen. Or like I did back then, while tinkering with stuff :)

"Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow know what you want to become." - Steve Jobs, Apple ❤️

The old man opened the enclosure. The early afternoon light flooded the space and I could see a large silhouette moving at the end of the large space. The figure moved and I realized how big it was. I felt frightened at first, and without realizing it, held my breath, releasing it in relief as the figure turned towards the left into the light.

As the sunlight poured over the frame of the figure, I realized it was a very large bird. It seemed so big — large enough to be a kneeling man. I was both amazed and scared. 

“There he is. You can see him now,” the man said and pointed. “He’s big, I know. One of the biggest birds I have ever seen.” Anticipating my question, the man said, “He’s about twenty years old, I reckon.” He scratched his head and said, “Honestly, we don’t know. He came to us this way and he’s been with us at least five years now.”

The eagle turned his head, looking at us with a piercing and powerful gaze. I could see his left side fully now as the sunlight bathed his figure while the right side remained cast in shadow. His feathers resembled a golden bronze armor, fading away from gold into a russet brown and the shadows behind him.

He looked like a defeated king, carrying a huge weight on his shoulders. What dignity he possessed! What a presence! 

I was mesmerized by him. I stood there, trying to make as little noise as possible. The man shuffled his feet on the snow-covered leaves on the ground and said, “He cannot fly anymore. Probably got just a few years left in him. Well, I will leave you with him for now. I’ll be in the next one,” as he pointed about a hundred feet away and started walking away.

I waited. I felt a surge of both compassion and respect for this magnificent creature, a King among the birds.

The Golden Eagle turned his head a little further left and looked straight at me with both eyes unflinching. I tried to read his expression, but I could not see it fully with the deep shadows behind him. 

I wanted to go closer, but felt frozen in place. He looked at me without a change of expression for a few minutes and then turned his head back to its former position. He seemed lost in thought.

I wanted to speak, but no words came out.

At last, I said, in a whisper, “You are so handsome. So dignified!” He seemed to be listening. “I am glad I came here and got to meet you.”

I wanted to comfort him in some way, but did not know how. I was also a little afraid, less than before, of his fierce gaze and his enormous sharp tallons.

I felt guilty leaving. Was he going to live and die here? I wondered. It seemed so. They had built him a large enclosure, but for this magnificent king of the skies, that must have felt like a prison. A prison he could not escape. Hence, the feeling of defeat and the look of humiliation.

I had no idea of time passing. My boots were pressed against the packed snow that filled the entrance of the enclosure. I wondered if he was cold. He did not show it.

I thought, Ozymandius.

Then I heard a voice from far away. “Are you still there, Jan?” the keeper asked, surprised. “Come and see the other animals.”

“Okay,” I said. I felt like I was shouting and disrupting the peace.

I turned and looked at the Eagle again. I bowed my head and said, “Thank you,” and turned to walk away. The Eagle turned completely around to look at me. His gaze was no longer fierce. He looked at me with interest and it felt like a softness in his noble face. His eyes seemed to take in everything. 

“Goodbye,” I said and nodded. The Eagle seemed to acknowledge my leaving. You are so magnificent, thank you for spending time with me, I thought, but could not utter out aloud.

As I walked away towards the entrance, the Eagle watched me depart and once I reached the gate, he turned back to his original pose. I could see his feathers like beautiful golden scales enveloping his frame as his claws clenched the edge of the heavy wooden beam he stood on. Sunlight gleamed on the snow and icicles hanging on one end of the wooden and wire enclosure. He stood like a cloaked figure in perfect pose, unwavering and lost in his own thoughts.

When I heard recently about NASA’s Artemis program, it made me think about a few things. I adopted a puppy back in 1997 that I named Artemis. It was a beautiful, silky, black Labrador retriever puppy that appeared on my doorstep in the middle of a very cold winter in southern Vermont.

I was renting a large apartment on a farm on the top of a mountain because I wanted to experience daily rural country life. It was definitely an experiment for me as it was isolated and at times could be quite lonely. It was a big change from being very social in a suburban college setting. However, I got a lot out of that experience looking back. I made a lifelong friend as well.

It was a very cold night and one of the farm hands knocked on my door and pointed at a little black puppy right on my doorstep. I was surprised and said, “What?” He just shrugged his shoulders and headed out to his truck. There were snow flurries and the temperature was dropping fast. This little puppy with large brown eyes just stared at me. I was wearing a silk cotton mesh thermal long sleeve top after skiing and shorts and just went out the door barefoot and scooped up the little puppy in my arms and brought it inside.

I brought the puppy by the fire. It was really cozy by the fire where I had been reading a book and lying on a sheepskin rug. The puppy shook its butt and then stretched and started wagging its tail and came over and started sniffing me and then licked me on the face. I started laughing and we bonded. I realized the dog was hungry and looking at it, that it was a little female puppy. She followed me obediently to the fridge where we both stared at what I had in there. There was some leftover salmon salad and some fried chicken that a neighbor had dropped by along with a large apple pie. I did not eat meat at the time other than seafood (a pescatarian) and had been considering giving the chicken to one of the farm guys as I did not want to hurt the neighbor’s feelings.

But now I had a little friend who was eager to eat that chicken! I took out the dish from the fridge and warmed up some of the chicken. The little doggie went to town on it. That was awesome to watch. I was a little worried if she would get sick since it was fried so I fed her slowly. She ate it all up and looked at me hopefully and then just put her head on my lap. It felt amazing.

I pet her for a bit and then got up and went to the window, made myself some hot chocolate and wondered what I should name her and what to do with her. The sky had been cloudy all day and just starting to clear up. I saw some beautiful stars in a formation and wondered what constellation it was. Then I thought, I could name her after a star or a constellation! The name Artemis popped in my head. So I turned to the puppy and said, “Artemis.” She looked at me hopefully. I said, “Art,” and she came running to me.

The next day, a bunch of the farm hands stopped outside my little apartment to see our new friend and they all petted her and commented on how silky her fur was. Her fur was beautiful. Apparently there was a second puppy too that a neighbor found wandering down the old dirt mountain road and he had promptly taken home. One of the farm guys said, “Must have been a guy who left them here on purpose,” and shook his head in disappointment.

Another guy said, “What if you hadn’t seen them? They would have frozen to death!”

Artemis appropriately looked alarmed. I felt the same way.

Brian, one of the farm guys I had talked to before, came up to me. He had taught me how to feed a lamb just a few days back, which I had really enjoyed doing. He was about thirty-five or forty years old at the time with a receding hair line and a very honest face. He had two beautiful little girls and his wife was pregnant with their third kid. He pulled his wool hat off his head and held it in his gloved hands politely and bent his head a bit and asked me, “So what are you going to name the little fellow, Miss Jan?”

I said, “Well first off, it’s a girl.”

Brian said, “Okay then,” and smiled.

I said well, “I don’t know if I can keep her, but if it works out, well then, I thought I would name her Artemis, like the constellation.”

Brian shook his head solemnly and said, “That’s a fine name for such a beautiful dog, Miss Jan.”

I beamed at him and scooped up Artemis in my arms. He pet her for a bit and said, “She’s lucky to have you. It’s good. You shouldn’t be out here all by yourself. You can only ski and read books so much.”

I just smiled.

Back then, I worked part-time at a ski resort for three to four days a week depending on my schedule. The rest of the time I had off and I would go skiing, snowshoeing, and on very long walks exploring the area for hours on end. I loved the light on the snow and just disappearing in the woods. It was a fantastic workout and I could just walk out my door and do it.

If any of you reading this lived in New England at the time, you will remember this was the “ice storm of ‘97.” It was such an intense snow and ice season that the entire city of Burlington was closed for three weeks. Further south and up higher in the mountains where I was though, it was a winter wonderland! The snow was so thick and deep that your boots would sink into the soft fluffiness and it felt endless. I loved wandering through the woods and skiing backcountry. It was incredible. Waking up in the morning, I would rush to see how much snow had accumulated and head on out to explore after having some coffee. I still remember the sun shining on beautiful icicles on the trees. It was breathtakingly beautiful and peaceful.

Yes, living on a mountain top with only two neighbors miles apart, was definitely lonely at times, but it was also amazing. I look back at that time with fondness, especially the long hikes I went on.

After the landlord said that I could keep her — I convinced her by offering to pay more rent — I took Artemis out with me every day on long walks. She had so much energy and was lithe, fast and beautiful. Her coat was super silky. She would run next to me while I skied to the general store. Vermont has the best general stores. You can find anything and everything there from delicious freshly made sandwiches with local cheeses and wines, to everything practical too. The clerk at the store always had a fresh biscuit for Artemis so she would put her paws up on the countertop and get one when we stopped by.

When it started to warm up by mid March, I took Artemis on this long walk where water was flowing through this stream and we could even see a few fish. She jumped in and grabbed one! I was amazed at how fast she was and a natural. One of the farm guys was clearing debris nearby and he was very impressed, saying he had been training his Irish setter for years on end and never got his dog to be that quick. I guess she had it in her naturally.

She had this wonderful playfulness and joy for life. When I think of her, I remember her energy and how fast she ran. Truly a hunter!

Artemis was never comfortable with being left at home when I went to work. She would scratch the door, which I had to get replaced eventually to soothe my landlord, and she would rip all my favorite clothes because they smelled like me. I pulled long hours on the shifts I did and I felt bad about leaving her for so long. It was too far of a drive for me to go up the mountain to her and then back to work on a break. I knew it was not sustainable especially since I was going to move out when the spring started.

I called up my dad’s best friend in Texas for advice. He told me to come on down and he would help me find a new home for Artemis. I went down there and we took Art to a beautiful large Texas ranch and farm. She bounded out the car door when we arrived, fitting in naturally. The last time I saw her, she was running off to play with other dogs on this large gorgeous property. It was better than I could offer at 21 years of age. I loved the experience we had together though. She was my first dog on my own as an “adult” and we were outdoor pals. I loved how she would put her head in my lap when I was reading and just fall asleep.

What does this have to do with NASA? Not much, I suppose. However, I love space exploration and the stars. I have named quite a few things after stars. :) It has inspired me though when I think of a residence I intend to build and the property itself. I would like to build a little observatory on my property to enjoy a great view of the night sky. I just read this article also about the 12-inch bronze Nebra sky disk inlaid in gold discovered in 2003 that has an “ancient vision of the cosmos” and is one of the oldest human representations of the heavens, connecting us with sky watchers from eons ago. Who knows? I might have a few dogs, cats, foxes, lynxes, birds and other friends on that property too who will come and star gaze with me too. :)

Hi! This is a pencil sketch by our Rachel at Elf, for a children's book I intended to write - something lighthearted with good humor. I may still do it. However, Rosie is now in my book 'The Stowaway.’ Rachel drew this a while back based on seeing a photo. Isn't it lovely? It captures a certain wonderful quality! Thank you Rachel. ❤️

Here are two of my favorites below. :) I love the Flash song for adrenaline and helping me get things done! ⚡️

Later, as an adult, I watched Batman Begins and I was so surprised at how much I related to many aspects of the character of Bruce Wayne, relationships with his family and his upbringing in that movie in an uncanny way. I love that movie — it is one of my favorite movies of all time.

One of my favorite scenes was after Bruce falls down into the bat cave and his dad pulls him out and carries him back home.

His dad says, “Why do we fall down, Bruce?” and Bruce looks at him, and the dad replies, “So we can learn to pick ourselves up.”

It’s the most amazing thing really — I feel that I needed to hear that myself this past week. It’s perfect. I hope it helps you in some way.

Hello. 😊 I am currently writing our Elf profile for Jake Burton, Vermont legend and snowboarding pioneer, who helped make the sport an Olympic one! ❄️🏂🏔🏅🥇🎖

I met Jake when I was 20 and first tried snowboarding at Sugarbush and just fell down the mountain. I loved it and came to Stowe the next day to repeat the feat! : D I met Jake that morning and he was so friendly, welcoming and down to earth.

I wish I could have shown him my ski and snowboard app that I am creating at Elf. It’s a labor of love and involves our core team in the best way! I would have loved to have seen him test it out, hear what he thought about it and just seen that big smile again.

Thanks for everything Jake and showing us how to live by doing what you love best. ❤️
Here’s to more doing what you love!

Thank you,
Jan

 It's wonderful though to dream it up and see it in your mind's eye! 

Prayer has always comforted me and given me solace over the years. My mom has a childlike faith with such sweetness and trust. Praying is one of the best things I have learned from her. It helps restore a sense of calmness to me internally and an ability to trust in the goodness of my life despite any obstacle I face.

I hope this helps you in some way. ❤️✨

Here’s the link.

My book is dedicated to my father, who taught me how to live and whose integrity, goodness, drive, love of life and huge heart inspire me every day. ❤️❤️❤️

He taught me so much from birth to the age of five. I can only imagine what I would have learned and the awesome experiences we would have had together if we had more time.

The reason it has become so popular and adopted by so many is that it helps you grow while addressing problems you can control and letting go of what you cannot. It is incredibly wise and succinct.

I find in my own life that this is a wonderful prayer as it helps me in all the areas it says so clearly! You can apply it to anything. I hope it helps you too. I love its simplicity and its broad application!

U2 - such an incredible band - all these many years, still reaching new audiences and spanning new generations! That is incredible, isn’t it? It’s a sign of music that just lasts and touches hearts everywhere.

I was amazed back in Burlington when I met college students born in the mid to late eighties who were crazy for U2. Diehard fans too! : D

Here’s two songs I loved in high school, and still do. : D

This intrigues me. I would like to know how this works.

It is kind of amazing, isn’t it?

You know when I was studying pre-med, a professor said in class that there are only six known cures, and everything else is trying to mitigate disease. I was shocked by this statement, but then looking at the medical profession and all the complications people have in their bodies, realized that made sense.

I love math and science — they offer structure and logic. There is stability and order as a result. We live in a society based on that. But there is SO MUCH that we do not know and we do not know fully how the laws of nature work! This extends beyond physical things, but also to what you cannot see and even how thoughts energize emotions and create effects! So cool, isn’t it?

This is one you may know from ‘Pretty Woman’ — “It Must Have Been Love.”

Here’s a song “Anu Doftar Karlek” I loved at 9. They’ve now remastered this and it is available on Apple Music. :) All that yearning!

Here’s a song “Om Du Sag Mej Nu” that I loved my first year of high school at 12. Don’t you love her voice? She is so brave! This is also one of my favorites. ♥️

Here’s one more called “Wish I Could Fly,” that I just discovered on Apple Music, never heard before, different style.

Also love this jazz piece “On a Sunday” with Magnus Lindgren. Love how she plays with the words! The Apple Music version is perfect.

A few days later, we visited an orphanage. It was my first time ever visiting one and I was very disturbed at first. I felt so many emotions when I saw the kids running towards us as my mom had all these gifts in hand. My older brother was giving them all his old toys - he had a lot! He never used them and they were already in a box ready to go. I had brought all my stuffed animals. I was reluctant to let go of Snowy, my little rabbit with a carrot that my mom had bought for me at Easter two years prior and who hung out with me after school. There was a little African American girl with her hair in braids and big brown eyes about my age, who eyed Snowy in my arms.

She came up to me and asked timidly, “Can I have that one?”

I nodded my head and gave it to her, saying, “His name is Snowy.”

She asked me very seriously, “It’s a guy?”

I said, “Yup,” nodding my head, “He loves to sing with you.”

She nodded her head and took Snowy and gave me a big smile. Then she ran off with Snowy. I heard her telling another kid, “His name is Snowy. He likes to sing.”

I looked up at my mom and she smiled at me gently. It was hard giving away Snowy and my E.T. doll. We had had lots of adventures together by then.

Today at this prime age of 44, I can tell you this - giving gifts is definitely better than receiving them! I have made many mistakes in my life, but I feel very lucky to have good people in my life. They are so amazing! They deserve everything good! If I can make their lives a little happier, I feel I did at least one thing right in the world!

Here’s to 2020! Let’s give more and love more, shall we?

Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving! Here’s a look at an illustration for my book ‘The Stowaway’ by the talented Sija Hong. This colorful illustration will accompany hardcover versions of the book.

When you walk into a room that is carefully designed to complement the person who inhabits this space, you are immediately exposed to the ambience, everyday objects and the arrangement that speak to the inhabitant. The colors accentuate the mood; the objects often have both functional and sentimental value; and their placement reflect the resident's preferences. You catch a glimpse into the interior of the person's life and many times, you come away inspired.

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In similar fashion, when you gaze upon a painting, a similar connection is made as the artist has created a space, often three-dimensional, that you are able to immediately enter and become enveloped in. The painter intentionally creates layers to produce lighting effects for contrast, emphasis and depth. This ability to direct light also focuses the viewer's gaze upon one aspect of the painting, evident most often in classical paintings by artists like Rembrandt, Caravaggio and Vermeer to Turner, Bingham and Leu. This effect can be very dramatic and compelling such as the chiaroscuro to create a three-dimensional shaded drawing or the feeling of a spotlight in a painting. More subtle applications create a diffused or filtered look from the slight halo of light behind a person's head in the afternoon light to the reflection of light off a table in a sunny room. As Edouard Manet says so aptly, "The principal person in a picture is light."

The depiction of light in a painting is also linked to the use of color. Coolness and warmth are also depicted by the use of color, showing the difference between a cold early morning and an afternoon bathed in sunlight. Immediately, the viewer also makes emotional connections affected by the sight of such colors and the creation of such scenes. For the pleinaire painters who loved to work in natural settings, observing how light changed both in nature and in cities was essential to creating any work.

An architect is also greatly affected by color choices, the spatial arrangement of objects and the texture and materials of objects, creating contrast and reflections of light that affect the ambience of different spaces and movement through them. How does this space look in the early morning light as compared to dusk? These are sacred times for the artist who holds a paintbrush, a camera or a pencil in hand, ready to experience how light changes and affects the space in question.

For the painter, the 'room' is the canvas and you, the viewer, are invited to delve in and explore. For the architect, the 'canvas' is the room that you, the viewer, wander in and occupy. Both invite exploration and redefine your definition of space and the feelings you experience in these spaces, affected primarily by the presence of light.

Light itself is mysterious. Light can create a sensuous and compelling experience as you are able to feel things physically merely through observation and movement within a 'space' of light. Yet perhaps the most compelling aspect of light itself is its ephemeral quality and how it shifts from opaque to translucent and transparent with millions of gradations in between, and the powerful emotions we associate with it.

Happy Monday! Boom!

I have many ideas for new stories now. I am finally able to think and act like I did before, without restriction. It is truly such joy. Writing and art itself offer avenues for creation that go beyond human limits. We change, we age, and we experience so much in life that alters us and affects us — but I think the ability to create only gets more refined over time!

Since I was very little, I’ve always loved seeing the rugged faces of men who loved to sail in their free time and have experienced so much in life. I am very drawn to resilient people who love adventure, are very intelligent, resourceful, handsome and self-sufficient. There is something remarkable about that, especially when an individual is kind hearted and genuine. I want to draw them and depict them for you as they are. Rare as they may be, these individuals make you want to be more in life! I hope to bring such characters to life for you so they inspire you too, as they do in my heart and mind.

Humility, I think, is essential to leadership. It is based in real confidence and inner strength. It’s self-effacing and respectful, not meek. It’s gentleness - a choice. It’s accepting people and situations as they are, and then going forward! That acceptance helps people relax and feel welcome and share. It’s such an amazing thing to see in action. When you are humble, you listen better and you think of the whole picture, while still guiding your vision forward. Humility has a spiritual dimension to it.

It feels natural, but thinking about it I find, brings a greater awareness to it and it’s in sharp focus! When you come from that space, you can really bring people together and achieve many things. Jürgen Klopp , the amazing coach of Liverpool’s soccer team, not only does this, but he makes the whole process fun! : D There’s so much energy and joy in that! It helps me and maybe this can help you too. My dad did that and a few of my friends’ dads do that too. Wonderful stuff! I am going to aim to do that more now.

My latest observation is this: Courage is at the heart of all virtue. It's the crown jewel! You need courage for everything. : D

Whenever someone tells me that something is the “best” or “the worst,” I always ask, “Compared to what?”

There are so many practical skills one can develop today, and they can get specialized pretty quickly too. I love both practical applied science and math, along with creative skills such as graphic design, writing and more.

If you have skills, you got to use them! :) That goes for me too. I have given some ‘advice’ on here. It is time I live that out myself fully! : D

I’ll be happy to post again on here after I have actually accomplished something new. :)

Lately, I have realized how important it is to do work you love and to be around good people. When I say “good people,” I mean people who have good intentions towards you and are striving to be better in their own lives. No one is perfect. The company you keep (in person, online and on the phone) however, has a HUGE effect on your personal well being, the decisions you make or don’t make, and the life you have.

I believe in independence and self-reliance a lot, but also know that we are social beings and we need good interactions with other people to feel connected, loved, valued and part of a larger community.

When you take the initiative to create something new, you can face opposition at times. Every person who ever achieved anything worthwhile in his or her own life, has faced this on some level. Everyone has opinions, but it is a much smaller set of people that actually follows through on their ideas and makes them happen.

Be one of those people. :)

Instead of waiting for approval and social acceptance, try starting it out. You will find out soon enough if the idea holds and if you can do it or not. Just the action of starting helps free you up to grow.

As they say, “If you aren’t growing, you are dying.”

Each individual grows at a different rate. If things are easy for you, don’t rest on your laurels and stop growing. Press on. See how far you can go! Society needs people who really explore and expand themselves enough to be all they can be! It is inspiring to see and helps other people have the courage and confidence to go out and achieve their best.

Singing music is wearing your heart on your sleeve...So liberating. Just even humming along washes aways all the day's cares and transports you to this fine place...where the sounds you make and the words you sing vibrate in sync with life's energy. So incredible. ❤️

What separates us from animals in a BETTER WAY? They are better at most things than us. They will survive in the wild better than us, be cleaner and less susceptible to disease. What then are we human beings actually good at? What makes being a human being special and of value?

To me, it is three things:

• the ability to create

• the ability to communicate (and share stories and experiences with generations before and after)

• the ability to care and love beyond ourselves and to be a steward for the vast resources and life on this planet

Then being a human being is actually awesome. ❤️

This drive I learned later in life is common to many artists. It makes me feel connected to them and anyone who enjoys creating and making things.

I have always loved cars and knowing how different parts work together. When I was ten years old, I went on a short day trip with my mom, one of her older sisters (the mathematical one) and her husband. It was a hot summer day. The leather upholstery in the car seemed to squish a bit when I sat down.

The driver pulled us out of the driveway and headed down a country road. After about an hour or two, when we were about half-way to our destination, I heard a faint sound. It almost felt like air coming out of a tire, sort of a soft wheezing and deflation noise. I tapped my uncle on the shoulder. He was sitting in the front seat. I told him, “Something is wrong with the back tire on the right.” He half-turned towards me, holding a newspaper in his hands that he was reading, and said, “No such thing. Don’t worry about it.” Then he went on reading.

Roughly thirty minutes later, the driver abruptly stopped the car and jumped out. He came back a few minutes later and announced that we had a flat tire. I leaned out of the window and asked, “On the right?” He nodded. My uncle peered at me over his reading glasses, and pulled them off, and got out of the car to inspect it. He talked to the driver and helped him get a new spare tire put on. Luckily, my uncle had a spare full-size tire in the trunk and we were on our way in another thirty minutes.

I turned to my aunt who was sitting beside me. She smiled at me and said gently, “Smart girl.”

Many years later long after I graduated college at Emory, I ran into an old acquaintance from college, Marie. The woman had a bright orange car that she was very proud of and showed me. I was happy that she was happy and we went out to lunch. At lunch, we got to talking about things and I told her I loved tinkering with cars and seeing how things work.

She was very disturbed by this and said with a shocked voice in a thick Southern accent, “Why would do that, Jan?” (pause). “Really, that is not necessary. Can’t you just take it to a dealer?”

She frowned at me. It was very un-lady-like.

I nodded my head and explained that I had just bought an old German sports car and liked learning how things work and that many mechanical cars (pre-computerization) were truly beautifully made. She shook her head in disapproval. “But why?” she demanded, “Can’t you have someone do it for you?”

Yes, I can have people do things for me. Most of the time they do. But I also like to know how things work…

It was this same impulse that led me to redesign the car interface for a well known car manufacturer - the same company that had built the great car I previously owned. At the time in 2016, they had a fantastic car with amazing engineering from over fifty years of precision German engineering, but their dashboard left room for improvement. The dashboard was computerized but not user friendly. So I took it apart and redesigned it. They loved my design and I worked with them to create new interfaces for several vehicles.

This drive has helped me create new things for existing products. It is born of an impulse to create and refine, to make something beautiful and functional. I think all artists have this impulse on some level.

My father also loved to design things. He was precise and careful in everything he did and a remarkable mechanical engineer. I also learned that my grandfather, his father, loved to tinker too and would take apart devices all the time in the drawing room of his primary residence. He wanted to know how they worked.

If you know someone who has this impulse, encourage that person. You never know what that person might create. :)

I had a neighbor at the time, Ryan who lived across from me. He had a beautiful big garden full of amazing flowers of every kind. His wife Barbara had recently passed away and he was grieving while still attending to affairs. I had never met Barbara but felt a kinship to her when I heard about her. Ryan said I was a lot like her and he would show up at my door with cut flowers from his garden a few times a week. He said, “I don’t know what to do with them.”

I loved flowers and I loved knowing how much they had loved each other. They had a few kids - all grown up and much older than me and were grandparents when Barbara had passed away. Ryan kept up the place immaculately and was still his positive, happy self.

My old Saab was having trouble starting up some days and had died on me a few times at the least opportune moments. Ryan let me drive his green Jeep while I was getting my Saab looked at. I loved driving the Jeep through Maine backwoods and down old country roads.

After I got my Saab back and returned his Jeep, I talked to Ryan a bit before he was heading out to meet his children and grandchildren. He went back into his house and then came back with a beautiful photograph of his late wife Barbara. She was smiling in the photo. It was a beautiful photo and I still have it with me. :) He also gave me a print out of the first few sentences from 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.

“Keep this with you,” Ryan said and I nodded, taking the photo and quote and putting it carefully in the glove compartment of my Saab. I was seated in my car about to drive off. I still have that with me.

Thank you Ryan. ❤️

When I was a kid, I used to love to quiz my aunt with math problems. She was my mom’s older sister by over twenty years, and they were very close. She was an important figure in my early childhood in a wonderful, joyful way. She was kind, attentive, caring, and thoughtful.

I remember going over to her house and there was a lot going on. She had a large estate and there were always people working on the land, gardeners, cleaning staff, maids, the driver, and more. She always insisted on cooking some things herself. She would always ask me what I wanted and give me that in the most beautiful way.

I remember not liking fish very much at first apart from fish cakes and fish and chips, at eight, but she made so many delicious seafood meals and would give me bite-size portions that I would want to eat them. I used to go around asking her math questions while she did all this — getting a big meal ready for the family and guests, cooking something special for me on the side, and managing all the people in the household.

“How much is 8,456 times 18,563,559?” I asked. I asked a lot of questions like that!

She would look at me thoughtfully and keep doing whatever she was doing, helping everyone, and getting stuff done. Then without skipping a beat, she would answer me a minute later and it would always be right!

I would pull out my calculator and check. I remember thinking I could add decimals or fractions to throw her off her game. But she would get them right, each time without needing any extra time either.

Ha ha! She was this incredible mathematician and natural genius. Most people though knew her as a kind, thoughtful lady who welcomed you genuinely and managed a beautiful home she had created.

I knew her for who she really was — the unspoken, brilliant mathematician and secret wizard! : D

I thought the name would remind people of early America and possibly, an earnest, spiritual figure. I imagined Amos Hayden to be a young man in his mid thirties in the 1880s who was trained at the seminary and became a priest because he loved scripture and wanted to do good in the world. He was a New Englander from modest means and a person to whom character was everything.

So I wrote a few short pieces and began one or two essays. The writings were published in a local newspaper in Vermont and then appeared in a magazine. I just had fun writing in this voice. I wrote on ‘Character’, ‘Integrity’ and ‘Clarity of Intention.’

Little did I know that people would take my articles as fact. A few years later, I discovered by accident that there were several pamphlets and magazines all over Montpelier and in southern Vermont quoting this author ‘Amos Hayden.’ They had linked my essays to a genuine person by the same name who actually lived in the 1800s. Amazing, isn’t it?

I went to this literary event in Boston and one of the guests mentioned Amos Hayden to me, saying that I would like his writing and that old American authors were the best, nodding his head vigorously.

It was funny and I enjoyed hearing what he had to say. I never let on.

But over the last decade or so, I have changed how I think about this. I still think pen names are fun and can be very clever and entertaining. I might still have a few. Ha ha. You will have to figure out, I suppose.

While picking up some coffee, I had a brief and stimulating conversation with a computer-savvy young college student. We mentioned books briefly and I asked what he liked to read, and he shared with me a bunch of different names and book titles. He said in a matter of fact voice, “Nothing worth reading is ever written by a woman. They don’t get it.” I didn’t know what to say at the time, though I did mention Agatha Christie, whose books my brother loved reading as a kid.

That comment and so many others made me realize that it was important that I write now under my own name.

Far too often, I hear women silenced. Lately, I have been thinking about accomplishments by women. What are they? Who are these people?

When I have stepped out of familiar areas (this includes many countries as I love to travel), I have noticed though how women are treated and I have been disturbed by what I have seen or heard. I have only been in a few situations in my life where I felt voiceless and robbed of the ability to be heard. They left a strong impact.

I would like to inspire young girls and women in particular, and young boys and men too by the words I write. It has to be in my own voice. I have to show what is possible…

I have never really identified with gender for doing anything in my life. I have grown up with a lot of freedom and I don’t feel burdened by the things I hear from other women. All my best friends apart from two, have always been boys and men as well.

Most of the books I love have all been written by men. But I exist. :) I would like to show you something different. I don’t write in just one voice and I have actually never identified strongly with being a woman as being anything different. Yet, I feel now that it is time to open the door to what is possible…to chart new paths - mostly in creating new stories written by a woman - me!

I can see now how much I have changed in just the last five years alone. In 2013, I attended this book signing event by a popular author. He spoke well - much better than he wrote - and had no hesitation in putting people down while elevating himself! He talked about how important art and personal expression is - he has a book and a video on this - but he was quick to shoot down anyone in the audience who questioned his ideas.

To me, who has grown up with such a deep love and affection for books, it was a bit shocking how he behaved. He seemed eager to cash in on the audience’s hunger for conversation and reading. I realized too though that most people are self-promoting.

On some level, you have to be to share your work as an artist. When I asked him about that, he got angry and irritated, almost as though he was pushing the air in front of him out of the way, like he was in a crowded train, fighting for his own spot. “Of course I will promote myself!” he said to me angrily, “When are you ready to publish? How do you know when you are ready?” He looked very annoyed and also insecure, wanting me to leave and eager to flirt with the woman smiling in line behind me.

Now looking back, the incident puts a big smile on my face. Despite all his boasting, the author’s writing was not good. The book cover however was excellent - it was very well designed. The meticulousness of the designer and then the enthusiasm of the crowd was amazing to experience. The audience was so hungry for a story and so supportive!

Also as you may have noticed in your own experience, many people who speak well, cannot write well. The two skills do not always overlap. They do sometimes, but it is not a given. Someone can talk a great deal about the value of a skill, but have no ability in doing it well. This applies to anything, but in its simplest and most direct form, to writing itself.

That incident taught me many things. It opened my eyes. I know I need to finish my stories and publish them.

Fast forward to today and I am confident in my own ability to speak up for myself even in unknown situations - something I would have been hesitant to do before. The more I read, the more I know I must write. I was born to write.

I may not give you pretty or witty speeches and I won’t flirt with attractive audience members as I have seen these authors do. Perhaps I can entertain you in some other way. I can come up with some good story spectacle for my readers. You will have to let me know how my stories hold up! It will have to be just right. :)

I would rather you read my books, come to my events and talk to me because my books and my stories moved you. I would hope you would engage with the stories themselves. A wonderful story has everything built right into it! Then of course, a movie developed from that story, would likely be amazing too…

I would rather that my work stand on its own - just like it did when I was four, ten or any other age that I wrote and no one could believe that this young girl wrote so well and like a person who had lived life well for a very long time… My old babysitter said I had an old soul when I was a little kid. Maybe I am like Benjamin Button. :) I only hope that my writing can move you.

The only issue is that I waited as long as I have! I am older now! Time’s a ticking! But like Agatha Christie, you can count on me to write a lot!

We are blessed today in terms of the time we live in. People are hungry for stories! There are more and more avenues to express yourself in as well! I love to create. I love drawing, designing, developing code (which is an art form) and shooting film. But writing? Writing is so freeing because all I need is paper and a pen and the thoughts come faster than lightning.

To create anything fully, you have to share part of yourself. By writing under your own name, you own it! You are vulnerable. That vulnerability is your gift to the world as it frees up other people to express themselves and to live more fully. That vulnerability and honesty helps free you.

I hope this helps you to write in your own voice and share what you have to say, anywhere you may be.

You may also like this post — “The Difference between an Author and a Writer.”

1) Have a plan, but not one that is over-engineered. Opportunities will inevitably come your way, and you want to be poised to consider them.

2) Every boss is a role model from whom you can learn. Some will be role models you'd do well to emulate, and others...not so much. Either way, you can learn a lot from them about what to do or what not to do.

3) The road less traveled is more interesting, so take it once in a while. It will give you the courage to stand behind your convictions.

4) Remember that most of the advice you will get is conventional wisdom, which is synonymous with playing it safe. Follow your heart, not someone else's mind.

5) Bring passion and energy to what you do every day. If you find things you enjoy, this won't be a challenge.

6) Success is highly correlated with one's self-awareness quotient. Play to your strengths, and understand your shortcomings.

7) Keep your friends and family close and consider them your personal board of directors. They will be your compass and your foundation.

8) Show up prepared...for every encounter.

9) Stay on the high road - it isn't very crowded, but it should be!

10) Treat everyone with respect and kindness, not based on what they can do for you.

11) Be an optimist. As the saying goes, a pessimist sees the challenges in every opportunity, while an optimist sees the opportunities in every challenge.

12) Expect more of yourself and those around you.

13) Leave every situation better than you found it. Find your own way to pay it forward.

To sum it all up, pay more attention to your self-worth than your net worth, spend time with people who tell you what you can do rather than what you can't, dare to do great things and commit to making a difference in the lives of others.

How far can you go…

When have you ever fully used your abilities or done your best at anything? What is your best? I am ready to discover what this is for me. : D