Whether you had a year full of excitement and growth, one of heaviness, heartache, and struggle, or somewhere in between, it’s important to take time to go inward and reflect on where you started and where you are now before jumping ahead.

So often this moment of reflection is rushed or missed entirely. We want to skip over it because of the time and energy it takes, or we wish to avoid it because looking back can be too painful. Yet, I believe it is one of the most beneficial and needed work we can do and one of the greatest gifts we can offer ourselves before launching into the next chapter. You will see things you may not have noticed before and discover valuable lessons that will leave you with gratitude.

This is a great practice to do at the end of a calendar year, the time around your birthday, and any other noteworthy milestone or anniversary.

My birthday happens to fall just 12 days before the end of the calendar year, so I have the luxury of doing my year-end reflection and birthday reflection at the same time. Depending on when your birthday falls, you may like to do another reflection at that time.

Year-End or Milestone Reflection Practice

1. Choose your space. Where is somewhere that inspires you to create and receive insights? Is it outside somewhere in nature? On a run or on a hike? Is it in the quiet of your room with candles lit? Is it in a cozy coffee shop while sipping on your favorite beverage?

2. Choose how you would like to capture your reflections. Journal and a favorite pen. Laptop. Voice note. Choose what feels aligned for you. I personally like to write it all out in my journal first and then document it on my computer.

3. Set the tone for your experience. I like to start my reflection experience with meditation. I call in my guides, helpers, and angels to support me in remembering. I go for a quiet walk in nature to reflect and receive inspiration. I use Oracle cards to support summing up my theme for the year. If you don’t have access to any of this or wish to go about it another way, do you. Do what feels most aligned and inspiring to you.

4. Inventory Time. This is a great way to go back through your year and recall any highlights, challenges, or areas of growth you want to capture.

   • What was your word, phrase, or intention for the year? What did you set at the beginning of the year as your area of focus? What intentions did you set or commitments did you make?

   • Go through the year month by month or by season: Write any major themes, milestones, or experiences that come to mind. If you are a documenter, you can go back through your photos on your phone or on social media to see where you were. Make a list under each month or season of what you notice and remember.

   • List all the places you traveled to: Did you travel to another city or state? Of go outside of the country? Where did you go? Write down what you remember.

   • Support team: Who were your top supporters throughout the year? Who were the people who supported you by your side and behind the scenes? Who were the strangers who showed up along the way to support you?

   • Go back to your word, phrase, or intention for the year. How did this stay present throughout the year? Did you keep your commitments or release them? Did you forget about what you desired to be your theme or area of focus? Even if you forgot, how can you connect the dots from your highlights, challenges, and experiences to your initial intention? If you switched or added an intention, note that. Write anything that surfaces for you around this.

   • What were some of your favorite memories or experiences from the year? Take a moment to reflect and write out or note what comes to you.

   • What were some of the challenges or trials you faced during the year? Take a deep breath. Allow yourself to be present to what comes and give yourself extra love and grace as you reflect.

   • What surprised you most about this past year? Are there any experiences, people, or opportunities that came into your life or surprised you?

5. What word would you use to sum up your past year? Look over your list and see if there is a certain theme or word that comes to mind. How does this word connect to your initial intention or theme for the year?

6. Gratitudes. As you look back over your list, what are you most grateful for this year? Go back to your Support team and who showed up for you. List any areas of surprises, miracles, or people/opportunities who came into your experience and supported you.

7. Brags. What would you like to brag about for the year? What are you proud of? Go on, brag away!

8. Choose your word, phrase, or theme for the new year. As you look back on your reflections, what energy do you wish to embody or call in for the coming year?

   • Write down the words that come to you. Say each word aloud and see how it feels in your body. Which word or words resonate most for you?

   • Pull Oracle cards to support in choosing your theme. Grab your favorite deck, or if you don’t have a deck, you can choose a deck for free here. I’ve also listed some of my favorite decks below. Take a deep breath. Focus on the energy you are calling in. From a space of stillness ask, “What is the theme or energy I am calling in for this new year?” Shuffle the cards until a card falls out or spread the cards across the table or floor and choose a card.

   • Read the message and choose a word or phrase that aligns with the message.

9. Put your word/theme/phrase somewhere you can be present to it. Write it on a post-it and place it on your mirror or computer. Choose a photo that embodies the word and put it as the background on your phone or computer. Write it atop your calendar each month so it’s present for you.

10. DANCE. CELEBRATE. SHARE. Soak in this experience by doing something fun for yourself. Have a dance party, or celebrate with a treat or experience. Get together with friends or call a friend to share your experience. You can also do this practice with friends and each share at the end to ritualize the experience and set the energy for the coming year.

What did you learn this year? What was your theme for the year? What are you calling in for the coming year? Drop in the comments and let me know!

My Favorite Oracle Decks for Reflection Rituals

• Wisdom of the Oracle - Colette Baron-Reid

• Enchanted Map Oracle - Colette Baron-Reid

• The Wild Unknown Archetypes Guidebook - Kim Krans

• The Wild Unknown Alchemy Guidebook - Kim Krans

If you're looking for support to set the tone for the new year and know what energy you'll be working with in 2024, schedule a 2024 Journey Session. Together, we will tune in and see what messages will serve as support along your journey in 2024. I offer a sliding scale to support people with what works best financially for them at this time. Schedule your session today!

What she couldn’t see was the internal processing I was going through. Every time she would suggest I write about being brave, the voice in my head would say, “You’re not brave. You can’t write about that.”

To the outside world, I seemed like someone who was brave, yet on the inside, I felt like a fraud.

Yes, I had quit my career to travel the world. Yes, I had sold most of my belongings to become a nomad. Yes, I had soulo traveled to 20 countries across six continents. Yes, I had invested tens of thousands of dollars in myself for my own growth and transformation. Yes, I had started a business with no cushion to fall back on. Yes, I had even stood one with nature naked in the Albanian Alps. Yes, I had been skydiving and bungee jumping, and so on.

To me, those areas are adventurous and daring but they didn’t feel brave. I would hear the lyrics of Sara Bareilles’s song ‘Brave’ in my head:

Or you can start speaking up

Nothing’s gonna hurt you the way that words do

And they settle ‘neath your skin

Kept on the inside and no sunlight sometimes the shadow wins

But I wonder what would happen if you

Say what you wanna say and let the words fall out

Honestly, I wanna see you be brave with what you want to say.

Words. Speaking up. Sharing my voice. Telling my truth even when it’s messy. That’s what being brave seemed like to me.

I thought about all the times I held back from speaking up and sharing my voice. All of the times I people-pleased and diminished what I wanted in order to avoid conflict and ensure everyone else was happy. All of the times I kept quiet because I didn’t think that telling someone how I really felt would matter because deep down I felt like I didn’t matter, or I was afraid they would think less of me if they knew what I really believed.

Old stories and internal beliefs truly can block us from seeing who we really are.

When I look back at this time during my life, I can see how lost I was in old stories and internal beliefs. I was not remembering all of the times I had spoken up and told my truth or put out a piece of work that was scary for others to see. It’s similar to receiving a bunch of praise or compliments and then receiving one bad comment. It’s in that moment we forget all of the good that was shared and focus only on the hurtful thing someone said.

Old patterns die hard.

So why am I writing about this now…two years later? After a recent phase of truthful conversation after truthful conversation (be careful what you write as an intention on a post-it, it will show up), I started to think about what it is to be brave. I’ve had many difficult, honest conversations recently which have caused me to reflect on where I was two years ago and how much I’ve grown since then. I still cringe or feel fear when I’m faced with a difficult conversation with another. Whether it’s restoring integrity and taking ownership for something I did or didn’t do, sharing with someone how their actions caused me to feel hurt, sharing feelings that I have for another without knowing how it will be received, or speaking up when I don’t agree with another’s projection or advice, these conversations aren’t easy, yet they’re so rewarding.

I realized I do feel brave when I engage and share my voice.

These conversations and opportunities caused me to ask and ponder, “What does it mean to be brave?”

Rather than my usual, ‘look it up in the dictionary and write about my thoughts on the matter’, I decided to ask my audience. I was curious to hear what others had to say about being brave and what it means to them in their own lives. The responses absolutely blew me away. I was so touched by each and every comment and point of view—and not just by the answers, but by the bravery each person embodied in sharing their responses and entrusting me to hold it for them. Some responded directly to my post, while others sent me private DMs. For the purposes of privacy, I’ve kept these responses anonymous. And for the purpose of simplicity, I’ve done my best to categorize them for a smoother way to digest the comments.

What does it mean to you to be Brave? Let’s see what others have to say.

Being Brave is taking action inside of fear.

Demonstrating strength while scared or afraid.

Being brave is facing your fears and watching them disappear or doing things despite fear.

Bravery is taking the one small step forward when it would be easier/more comfortable/expected to stay put.

I think being brave is doing something even if it makes you fearful. I think being brave is also doing you, even if it's not what other people think or expect you to do.

Brave is perseverance for me. It can get scary to keep pressing forward when results aren't profound or immediate.

For me, bravery is doing the things I don't wanna do but know I have to.

Being Brave is speaking up and sharing your voice.

Speaking your truth and sharing your story even when your voice shakes.

Speaking your truth when others disapprove or minimize it.

Bravery is speaking your truth in voice or written form that has been pushed down for too long. Stepping into your body wisdom of knowing it's time to move forward and taking the actions to begin the process.

Being Brave is releasing control.

I feel that I need to be brave when I’m pushing through and trying to do something on my own, under my own power, instead of aligning my vibration with Source who would make things go with ease. Bravery is putting up with being out of alignment unnecessarily.

Choice or free will appears to be confined to a range of possibilities. Expanding this range ↔ what has been unthinkable...may equate to bravery. As we develop capacities, what might be available could be a discipline of diminishing the import of knowledge while embracing wonder. Human design provides for questioning. It may be this quality that provides capacities ... what we are willing to question requires the subject at hand.

Being Brave is not easily felt or experienced by the person being brave.

For me, bravery is always required to do scary things. But the irony is that when I'm being brave I never feel brave. I think it's easy to think of others as brave when you see them doing things that would be scary for them or you, but I know that for me even when I look brave I am usually terrified inside! So there can be a mismatch between being brave and feeling brave in my opinion.

I get confused when others tell me I'm brave for something that felt easy or a more comfortable choice for myself–because it would be brave for others from their perspective. And once you're past that initial choice or decision, for me it feels easier. Like my first tattoo felt like a big deal, and now I walk around with lots of visible ink without a thought about it.

Many of our guests tell me: Wow, you were so brave to move to Ecuador and to build the eco-resort. I always answer that I was many things but surely not brave. Because of bravery, you need to do something you are afraid of and I was never afraid of doing what I did. Another example, to do sky diving, I really would need bravery because I am scared to shit of heights and I guess I will never do it in my life, due to lack of bravery.

Being Brave is being present to life. 

For me being brave is living with the living and not living with the dead (I'm a young widow). It's about waking up and feeling in awe that I'm alive to see another day and being brave enough to make decisions throughout the day towards living; making choices to fill my heart and soul with things that bring me joy and living authentically with gratitude.

Bravery for me right now is getting out of bed. It sounds silly but I really don’t want to wake up after losing my soul mate. So yeah, getting out of bed is my bravery I think.

Being brave is a state of being where courage is found in the moments.

Being Brave is owning who you are.

To me being brave is being able to live life on your own terms, fully accepting who you are as a person. 

Honoring myself over everything else.

Being Brave is moving through discomfort.

Being brave means many things to me …summoning the courage within to do what feels right for the highest good, pursuing one’s dream when one’s desire becomes greater than one’s discomfort.

Recognizing discomfort and embracing it anyway. 

Being Brave is showing up.

Being brave is being willing to put ourselves out there when we would rather hide. 

So I’ll double, triple, and quadruple what most of the others said: Facing your fears, your sadness, whatever „bad“ feeling is brave. Finding compassion and forgiveness for all of that is even braver. Then showing up as you are, different, broken in places and mended in others, still healing and figuring things out, is the master class.

Being Brave is standing up for others in the face of adversity. 

Since I was young I thought the bravest people have been the ones that take leadership and that do not go along with the “in” crowd. Seeing others stand up for others being bullied is the bravest of the brave to me.

Being Brave is vulnerable. These responses are vulnerable, inspiring, and connect humanity on a deeper level.

What I am present to in reading others’ responses to being brave is that Brave looks different to each person yet holds a common denominator—strength and courage to take action when it would be easier to do nothing. So for some of us, speaking up and sharing our voice is a brave thing to do, while to others, it’s just a conversation. For some traveling to foreign lands or getting out of bed seems natural while to others it takes great strength and courage.

Being brave is a practice. It’s continuing to face discomfort and take action inside of it.

Even in writing this post, I was faced with my own discomfort. In 2019, I was hiking in the Albanian Alps with a couple of friends. We came across this secluded area with a waterfall and the most epic view. When I saw the waterfall, my first thought was, “Oh, I’d love to get naked and stand under that.” But I was in nature. Hikers could walk up and see me. And before I could think about it further, I looked over and saw my friend Audrey strip down. She had the same idea. When I saw her have the courage to do this, it gave me the courage and reassurance to know that my idea wasn’t crazy! So I bravely stood up and started to undress. It was so liberating. I felt connected to nature in ways I hadn’t before. I haven’t shared this experience or any of my photos. At the time, it was purely for my own liberation and documentation. However, in writing this post, I knew it was another layer of discomfort for me to move through in allowing myself to be seen in this way.

Being brave is a great act of trust and faith. It’s journeying on the road less traveled.

Being brave is not always linear and will come and go throughout our lives and shift from one area to the next. Keep leaning in. Keep showing up. Keep reminding yourself of how far you’ve come.

An Exercise in Becoming Brave

I woke up at 2:57 am the other night with words flowing out of me. It was a great reminder for me after reading all of these beautiful raw interpretations of what it means to be brave. And what I realized is that I am in fact very brave. I grabbed my phone and captured this in my Notes app:

I am actually one of the bravest people I know. I have taken so many chances. Put my heart on the line. Followed my dreams. Traveled to unknown places without knowing the language. Trusted complete strangers. Said ‘Yes’ again and again and again. Tried on many things. Invested tens of thousands of dollars in myself. Pursued my creations out of sheer excitement and curiosity without focusing on money. Continued to show up after being rejected again and again. Most would’ve given up after the first ‘No’ or setback. I’m not most people. I’m willing to risk everything for the chance of ‘What if?’ At the risk of pursuing, “If I don’t go, I don’t know.” I’ve blazed my own trails. I’ve found a new door open every time a door has closed. I’ve befriended the darkness and faced many dark nights of the soul to release old patterns, stories, and layers. 

So yes, I am brave. I just wasn’t in a space to fully see it or recognize it until now. And I bet that you are much braver than you think.

Embodying Bravery

Questions to answer for recognizing your own bravery:

1. When have you had a conversation that scared or intimidated you and left you feeling empowered? 

2. When have you spoken up for your needs? 

3. When did you take a chance on something without knowing how it was going to go?

4. When have you followed your heart, your gut, your intuition? 

5. When have you stayed when everyone else told you to go?

6. When have you walked away when everyone around you told you to stay? 

7. When have you said ‘No’ to something that wasn’t aligned for you? 

8. When have you said ‘Yes’ to something that scared you? 

9. When have you done something that felt really difficult or challenging? 

10. When have you forgiven someone who hurt you?

11. When have you forgiven yourself?

12. When have you stood up for someone or taken a stand for a cause you believe in?

13. When have you owned a mistake and used it to learn from?

14. When have you told someone you love them or shared your feelings with them?

15. When have you risked losing someone or something in order to honor your truth?

There are many questions to ask and answer. I hope that these will inspire you to recognize your own bravery and write your own declaration about being the bravest person you know.

“My business is going to take off when I’m done with my Invisalign.”

Life has an interesting way of teaching us lessons in patience.

When I was a pre-teen I entered into the world of orthodontics. I had a habit of sucking my pointer finger when I was a child, which pushed my teeth outward. At age 12, I got braces. As if being a middle schooler wasn’t awkward enough, getting braces topped it off. Luckily, I wasn’t alone in this stage of life. Many of my classmates and my sister, Lisa had braces alongside me. We at least got to make it a little more fun by changing the colors of our bands to match school colors and create an expression of our own. I had the added element of having a bridge in the roof of my mouth with a metal key that I would turn daily to expand my bite. It goes without saying, but I do not miss those days!

I was a structured kid who followed the rules out of expectation and approval. So naturally, when I got my braces off 2 years later, I made sure to wear my retainer every night. I wanted to be a “good” patient and seek praise from my doctor. For some reason though, when I got to college, I decided that my retainer wasn’t needed anymore. I had been wearing it for 5 years, so surely my teeth were in place by now…

Things shift in life when you let go of the structure holding it in place.

As you guessed, slowly over time, my teeth began to shift. From the outside, there wasn’t a noticeable difference. My teeth were slanted slightly, but it wasn’t anything to fuss about. What did cause a fuss, though, was my bite. I noticed that I was biting the inside of my cheek frequently when eating especially crunchy foods like apples and carrots. It was not enjoyable.

When I was in my late 20’s, I decided to go to the orthodontist to get a consultation about my bite. The first orthodontist I went to said that I would need to get braces again. Orthodontics has come a long way and made many advancements in the 16 years since I had had braces. Invisalign was a newer option that allowed you to move more freely through life without the constraint of monthly checkups or the pain experienced from wire braces. I was excited about this possibility. The orthodontist I visited said I was not a good candidate for Invisalign though, because of my bite. She said it would be a long journey (at least 2 years) and would cost at least $5,000 and not be an effective form of treatment. That was enough for me to say, “No Thank You” and go back on my merry way.

Money is often what stops us from taking action.

In this case, it wasn’t just the money that was stopping me. It was the thought of having to have braces for 2 years. I had plans. I was going to switch jobs, travel the world, and follow my dreams. And that couldn’t be done with braces.

Oh, how clever our minds can be to keep us safe from taking action.

I moved on and went back to living my patterned life. During that gap, my life really began to shake me up. I went through a long period of depression followed by taking inspired action and investing in myself through therapy, transformational programs, and retreats. 2017 was the year that things really began to shift. I dubbed 2017 as My Year of Action. I reached a point of exhaustion by repeating the same patterns, and not taking action towards what I said I wanted. I committed to showing up for myself consistently in ways I hadn’t done prior. It was the year I went on my first international retreat in Guatemala and realized that I was playing it safe in life. I knew after that retreat that it was time for me to quit my job of over a decade and follow my dream of traveling the world.

When I returned home from Guatemala, I raised the bar in showing up for myself inside of my Word of the Year, Action. I went to the dentist and told her that my bite was bothering me. She referred me to an orthodontist whom she highly recommended (Dr. Ortega at White Rock Orthodontics). I immediately booked a consultation. During the consultation, I learned that I was in fact a candidate for Invisalign. Dr. Ortega was confident that I could continue to live my spontaneous lifestyle as a traveler while correcting my bite. He said it would be a long journey and take at least 2 to 2 1/2 years. After all, teeth, especially molars, don’t move overnight.

My fear was screaming at me that this was too long and wouldn’t work, but my intuition knew it was time.

I thought back to my initial orthodontist consult 3-4 years prior. Had I committed to the process then, I would’ve been finished now. I didn’t want to wait another 4 years and be back in this same place with no action. So, on August 22, 2017, I committed to getting Invisalign and going down the path to fixing my bite. I had no idea that by making this commitment I’d also be opening myself up to the longest and most beautiful lesson in patience. After the initial “getting used to having attachments on my teeth”, Invisalign became a part of my lifestyle. I learned to embrace my smile and work my life around appointments. In the past, I would’ve been self-conscious about showing my smile with attachments on my teeth, but I learned that most didn’t even notice it. It became a part of me. I modeled in at least a dozen photoshoots and continued to travel all over the world while stopping back in Dallas every 4 to 5 months to get new trays.

When I hit the 2.5-year mark, I was a little disheartened to learn that my molars still needed more time to move. I received a whole new box of trays starting back to tray 1 of 24. At the rate of changing trays every two weeks, I was looking at least another year. I had made it this far, what was another year? That was a statement I never would’ve embraced prior to this journey. I used to think a month was a long time and that a year was an eternity… oh how naive I was.

It was around this time that I had also started my business and was navigating the world of being my own boss and learning to charge for my services. I thought committing to a multi-year journey with my teeth was challenging. Starting my own business, however, there was no preparing me for this ride.

It’s one thing to enter into something knowing how long it will take; it’s another to enter into something blindly believing it’s going to take off right away.

There are a lot of romantic success stories that entrepreneurs share that suck the newbies in:

• I just had my first $10,000 month!

• I went from broke to rich just by putting myself out there.

• I have more clients than I know what to do with.

• I made $50,000 doing one event.

While these are legit scenarios among many service-based entrepreneurs, it is not a common narrative. What’s missing from these stories is the work behind the scenes and more importantly, the internal work that others rarely see. So, while I celebrate business owners who reach these milestones (and wish to achieve levels like this myself), the way the stories are often shared can be a bit disheartening to those of us who are still building and refining our message and offerings.

If I was to share any wisdom with wannabe or newbie entrepreneurs, it would be to have patience. Take things one step at a time. One day at a time. Trust in the process and learn from those who have been where you want to go.

It was frustrating to hear from my orthodontist that I’d have to wear my Invisalign for another year to a year and a half. I wanted to quit and held back tears in the chair when I learned again that it would be yet another 6 months. But, I was so grateful that he was honest with me and asked me to trust in the process and trust that it would be worth it.

This journey with Invisalign has had so many parallels to running a business.

• Timing is not something that’s always so easily predictable. I learned during this process to let go of linear time and trust in divine timing. There was a deep knowing that the process with Invisalign was here to teach me patience in all areas of my life. It taught me to trust in divine timing with the launch of new offerings and services within my business.

• Don’t compare your timing or results to others’ journeys. I’ve had several friends get Invisalign as adults and the process only took them 6 to 9 months. When I first considered going down the path of orthodontics, I thought it would only take 9 months because that’s what I had heard from so many. But that wasn’t the case for me. My situation was completely different than theirs and would take more time. There was no sense in comparing my timing to theirs because it was unique to me just as theirs was unique to them. The same is with business. These days they say it takes 18-24 months for the average business to make a profit. While some can get there quicker, don’t discount all of the navigating, refining, and planning that takes place in the beginning phases.

• Release attachment to the how and when. When I learned that the process would be longer than 2.5 years with my teeth, I learned to let go of expectations and surrender to the process. I couldn’t force my teeth to move. They had to go at their own pace, just as I’ve had to learn to go at my own pace in business. In 2020, I was set to lead my first international retreat in Spain. This was a big and exciting step for me! And then the pandemic hit. My travels, this retreat, business, and offerings were put on hold. I had to learn to pivot, try on new offerings, and release control.

• Just when you think you’re done, another path appears. I attribute much of my journey to climbing a mountain. The peak can look so close to you as you’re moving towards it. But just when you think you’ve reached the top, another hill or path appears. It’s not as close as it looked. So then you’re faced with a choice, do you keep going? Or, do you turn around and call it done? I could’ve told my orthodontist that I was done when I learned I had another 12 to 18 months to go. But I knew from experience that the journey to the top is worth it. It’s worth it to keep going. The lessons learned along the way are priceless.

• Consistency is key. My teeth would not have moved had I not worn my trays daily and overnight. While I didn’t always follow the recommended wear of 22 hours per day, I never went a day or night without wearing my trays. It was not easy to commit to at first, but after weeks of establishing a routine, I got used to the consistency and began to see results with each new tray and each check-up. I’ve dabbled so much in my business trying on different services and offerings. I’ve not been the best at sending regular newsletters or following what the “experts” say you’re supposed to do to run a successful business. But I have continuously shown up through the good and the hard. I learned that My Why was the foundation (or the trays like with my Invisalign) for everything that I do. And no matter what is happening in my life, as long as I’m holding to My Why, I will continue to show up and be seen.

When you learn to fully surrender and embrace the process, things begin to shift.

At the end of 2020, I learned that I had another 7 to 8 months left with my Invisalign. And I knew there was no point in fighting it. After all, I had already made it this far. So I surrendered and accepted where I was. I remember declaring to my sister, “My business is going to take off when I'm done with my Invisalign.” While I was half-joking, I had this sense that things would shift when I finally learned to let go of control, trust, and be patient.

I wanted to give up many times with my Invisalign. Just like I’ve wanted to give up many times with my business. I’ve gone through the common cycle that many entrepreneurs face of wanting to quit and find a regular job. Yet, something keeps me on this path. There’s a deep knowing within that I’m meant to keep climbing. I’ve come a long way on this journey. The pandemic showed me that I am capable of slowing down and being in one place for a time. It taught me that it’s okay to try on different avenues and embrace all of the many skills I have. It’s taught me to ask for support and open up to receiving. I’ve had to ask many friends and my sister and her husband to support me several times in the last year with money for bills and, at times, food. It has not been easy to ask, but it has been so humbling to receive.

It’s been my greatest lesson in patience. When I finally surrendered to the process, I let go of attachment to the end. At the beginning of June 2021, I went in for what I thought was a normal checkup for my Invisalign to learn that it was actually the day to have my attachments removed and be fitted for a permanent retainer.

Letting go of attachment allowed me to reach the finish line.

And guess what? My declaration has started to show evidence of the payoff from being patient. Last year, I applied for a grant with the Small Business Association (SBA) for Covid relief, and I was denied. I applied for unemployment and again, I was denied. I didn’t earn enough to be considered.

Last week, I went in for a 6-week follow-up for my permanent retainer. It was my final appointment for this leg of the journey. Everyone cheered me on and congratulated me as I walked out of the building. And at that moment, I knew. Things finally were shifting.

I reapplied several weeks ago for an EIDL Covid Relief grant through the SBA. Monday, I woke up to find a generous sum of money in my account.

While I did receive a large portion of money overnight, the work that went into being patient, trusting, and surrendering to the process did not happen overnight.

I wasn’t ready to get orthodontics when I first went in for a consultation. I was meant to go on this 4-year journey at this time in my life. And the same is with the grant money. Had I gotten the money last year when I first applied, I would’ve used it to escape rather than face my pain.

Patience is a beautiful teacher and one of the most challenging lessons we will ever learn.

1. Where in your life are you afraid to start out of fear of how long the process will take?

2. Where in your life are you wanting to speed up the process to be done rather than soak in the journey?

3. Where in your life are you wanting to quit because it’s gotten too hard or you simply can’t wait any longer?

4. Where in your life are you comparing your timing and your journey to others’ stories rather than embracing your pace?

I invite you to reflect on these questions and see what arises. And if you find yourself desiring support, reach out to me. I created a new customized program to support you with where you are now that is designed to fit how you best operate. Send me a message or schedule a curiosity call to learn more.

Wanting more for your future is not a betrayal of your past. - Danielle LaPorte, Truth Bomb

Why do we hang on to things when we know it’s time to let go? Are we attached to the item itself or what it represents?

For my 33rd birthday, my dear friend Kortney gifted me with a Hydro Flask® water bottle. She picked a beautiful turquoise color perfectly suited to my style. If you’ve known me for a while, then you know that I’m rarely without a water bottle in hand. One of my friends once said that I’ll be clutching my water bottle when I die.

While that’s a silly thought, the sentiment behind it is true.

This particular bottle, though, holds such great meaning for me. It represents the start of my nomadic journey. It was with me when I quit my career of 11 years, and with me when I set foot in Australia signaling the start of a new chapter in life. It’s traveled with me to 20 countries across 6 continents. It served as a vessel to support me in staying hydrated, and as a symbol of comfort to clutch in times of discomfort.

There was one time I landed back in Dallas after traveling on a long journey. I was tired and ready to be in bed. I stopped in the bathroom as I deported. As I exited security, I immediately felt something was missing. My water bottle. I had left it in the bathroom stall! Like a child who loses their favorite stuffed animal or blanket, I had lost my own security blanket. I ran back to the TSA desk panicked and asked if there was any way I could go back through and get my bottle. I told them I knew it sounded silly, but this bottle was sentimental and had a great story to tell. The agent wouldn’t let me go back but phoned on the radio for a female agent to go into the bathroom and find it. I stood there waiting anxiously. A few minutes later, I saw a woman inching towards me holding my bright turquoise water bottle. She had a big smile on her face and told me I’d be surprised what all she’s collected. She was happy to return this dented, worn-in water bottle to me. There have been a couple of other instances where I’ve left it somewhere only to be reunited with it again.

It always seems to find its way back to me.

I’ve dropped my bottle so many times. It’s dented all over the bottom and stands rocky on a flat surface. One of the metal screws popped out of the cap and got lost along the way. Yet, I’ve continued to carry this bottle with me. Although it’s bruised and full of battle scars, my bottle is still functional. It stills serves its purpose as a vessel for holding water. It serves as a reminder of my journey.

But, at what point do you say or know, “It’s time to move on. You’ve served your purpose. You’ve taught me all you’ve needed to teach me. And now, it’s time to let you go?”

When do you stop “putting up with” and honor yourself and the item (or person) and move on?

I could fix my bottle. I could get a rubber cap to place on the bottom so my bottle stands steady again. I could buy a new lid that’s intact and not broken. I could hold on to it a little longer.

Not everything is meant to be fixed.

The other day I noticed a smell inside my bottle even after washing it. I washed it again, scrubbed it harder, got more under the rim, and the smell still lingered. Washing it again and again, or patching it to buy it more time is not going to restore it to its original state.

It’s time to part ways. It’s given me so much and now it’s time for a new vessel.

While this may be about a water bottle, there is a deeper essence that translates to other areas in life. We all have something we’ve outgrown or that’s outgrown us that’s begging to be freed. No matter how many times we repair it, it won’t be the same.

We either grow with it or we outgrow it.

There’s a fear that if we let go, we’ll lose all of the memories associated with the person or object. There won’t be something or someone as good as the original. Or there’s the fear that if we let go, nothing else will fill its place. Perhaps we’re afraid of betraying the other thing if we move on and replace it?

Wanting a new functioning water bottle does not take away the memories from the old one. It’s still a part of my story and will serve as an adventurous memory.

I finally gave myself permission to buy a new water bottle. It’s a beautiful pink vessel that is ready for new memories and adventures. My old turquoise bottle served a deep purpose and now it’s time to let it go and allow for the new to come.

Who or what are you holding onto in hopes that it can be fixed? Or, holding onto out of fear that it won’t be replaced or as good as the current one?

What would open up for you by letting go?

Perhaps you have your own water bottle that needs to be replaced (and if so, I do recommend a Hydro Flask :) ). Or perhaps, you’re holding onto the memories of a former lover and the thought of starting again is scary. Or you’re ready for a new job or career and are afraid to betray the people you work with. Whatever it is for you, take some time to sit with it and write out all of your fears around it (what you’re afraid will happen, all the what if’s, etc). Then take some time to envision what it would be like to step into a new space. Allow yourself to feel all of it, and know that F.E.A.R is just an illusion.

Story Update:

After writing this blog, I was approached by the water bottle company Super Sparrow asking if I wanted to try their water bottles. I love trying new things and jump at the opportunity. I chose 3 different bottles—the 750ml Small Mouth, the 350ml Standard Mouth, and the Tritan Sports Bottle. I love each bottle for various reasons. During the snowmageddon in Dallas, I was so blessed to have the stainless steel bottles so I could have hot water. The Tritan sports bottle is great for hiking and being on the go. I was blown away by this generous opportunity. Check out their water bottles and try for yourself!

**I receive no commission for mentioning this. I wanted to share about this cool experience in manifesting.

How often do you reflect on your journey and how far you’ve come?

Lately, it seems like experiences from my past are resurfacing. I’m back to living with my sister and her family after 3-4 years of living in other places. I’m back in Dallas where I left 2 years ago while starting my nomadic journey. I’ve reconnected with relationships in my life that took various turns in the past. I said ‘Yes’ to a retreat not knowing where the money is going to come, and trusting that it will.

While these experiences feel the same, they’re different this time. I’m not the same person I was 5, 3, or even 1 year ago.

I used to think that a year was a long time. I remember when I was interviewing for jobs post college, I got offered a job working in PR for Dave Ramsey. They wanted a minimum of a 2-year commitment. All the “what ifs” popped into my mind. I was afraid to commit and thought I’d be trapped if something better came along. So, I turned it down and accepted a job at my apartment leasing office (not knowing I would be there for 11 years).  

When I started my career, I stayed because it was safe and comfortable. I was afraid to ask myself what I really wanted. I was afraid that if I really listened, I would find out that it wasn’t attainable for me. So, I stayed. I pushed my dreams aside and waited for someone or something to come along and rescue me. And guess what? No one came.

It wasn’t until I said ‘Yes’ to transformation and trusting in divine timing that things began to change.

With all of the familiar feelings and experiences resurfacing lately, I’ve taken the time to reflect on how far I’ve come. It can be easy to forget sometimes. Past experiences can resurface, and we can box ourselves into thinking that we’ll be back to where we were. When I reflect on my journey over the past 5 years, I am present to all that has taken place to get me to where I am today, and where I’m going.

2015

I was depressed and feeling like I’d never seen the light. I sought therapy and slowly began taking steps towards healing. I enrolled in a seminar on Living a Life of Velocity at Landmark Worldwide. I modeled in my first transformational photoshoot with Ashlie Woods which opened my eyes and heart to my own beauty.

2016

I continued participating in seminars with Landmark. I attended my first Wildhearted Retreat with Ashlie Woods in Austin, TX. This retreat started my journey and practice of meditation and learning to tune inward.

2017

I dubbed this as the Year of Action. I joined CorePower Yoga and committed to nurturing my physical and mental health. I attended 200 yoga classes that year. I started my blog, Wandering Aunt. I attended my first international meditation retreat in Guatemala, where I met my soul sister, Brandan. It was on this retreat that I got clear that I was playing it safe in life and knew it was time to quit my corporate job and follow my dream of traveling the world. I enrolled in the Self Expression Leadership Program (SELP) with Landmark and was present to being a Leader (something I had given up on when I started college). I signed up for Yoga Teacher Training after the owner said she saw me as a teacher and believed in me. After 7 years of being in Dallas, I finally found my soul tribe who I’m still dear friends with to this day.

2018

I turned in my notice with my company of nearly 11 years. My incredible team was so supportive of me following my dream of traveling the world. I attended my 3rd Wildhearted Retreat in Mexico where I got clear that “I know what I want. I just don’t commit.” I committed to my dream and booked a one-way ticket to Australia. I said goodbye to my first solo apartment, sold my furniture and many belongings. I sold my car to support my nomadic life. I said goodbye to my secure life and set off to Australia on a one-way ticket with one month’s pay, a quarter of my bonus, and only $500 in savings. I spent the next 8 months traveling across 11 countries on 5 continents. I began modeling in photoshoots (Mexico, Colombia, Argentina) for my own self-expression and mission to support local photographers, designers, and stylists. I also attended World Domination Summit for the first time and found a tribe of people like me who are living unconventional lives. I attended my 4th Wildhearted Retreat in Peru and got to visit Manchu Pichu. I began a coaching journey with Allison Field.

2019

After cashing in my 401k at the end of 2018, I knew it was time to start creating new streams of income. I began freelance writing and started Wandering Aunt Travels to support others in designing the trip of their dreams. After receiving a clear sign, I took a big leap and signed up for a yearlong coaching program with Darla LeDoux and Julie Flippin of Sourced. I put my worth to the test and invested in myself and my future. It was during this program that I discovered being an Intuitive and learned to let go of conditioning and outdated beliefs. I continued to travel the world and model in photoshoots in Paris, Minneapolis, Spain, Morocco, & New Zealand. I spoke onstage at my first international conference at 7in7 in New Zealand—a dream come true! While modeling in a photoshoot in Morocco, I found love and began dating a wonderful man. It was the first committed relationship I had allowed in my life since high school.  

2020

I rang in the New Year in Tunisia with my love. When I returned to the states, I went on a solo retreat in Colorado where I got a clear message to end this relationship and focus on my relationship to myself. Heartbroken, I listened to my inner guidance and trusted that it was for the best. I thought my heart was going to burst from sadness. I worked with Leslie Boren to document my sadness and pain through a vulnerability photoshoot which brought great healing. The following week, COVID hit and I found myself grounded with my sister and her family in Dallas. My travel design business came to a halt. I tuned inward and began showing up for myself in ways I haven’t before. I created boundaries in my life and chose Me for the first time. I became a recovering people pleaser.

I deepened my meditation practice and learned more about my intuitive gifts. I started offering Intuitive sessions to support others in being seen through clarity and connection. I completed my yearlong coaching program and became a Certified Retreat Leader. It was at the end of this program where I was confronted with my biggest fear—Asking. I realized that I don’t ask for support and have lived under the agreement that “I must do it all on my own”. I had no idea this one area would control so much of my life. At the end of June, I returned to Colorado. While climbing Mt. Garfield, I realized that I thrive off challenges. The question “What is My Mountain?” came to me. I got the clear message: Write 30 blogs in 30 days. After completing the blog challenge, I was chosen to write a chapter in an anthology on transformation called Transformation 2020. The blog challenge also provided clarity for what I’m writing in my first book (coming 2021).

Writing out my brief history of transformation reminded me of how far I’ve come. It made me think back to the woman who was afraid to say ‘Yes’ to her dreams; the one who couldn’t see her own beauty; the one who didn’t believe she was worthy of receiving. That woman is a part of me and always will be. She is my reminder that I can do hard things. She’s my reminder that while following the heart is not always the easiest path, it’s the most rewarding.

Each person’s journey of transformation looks different. The key is to own your journey and your pace, and most importantly, trust.

Transformation is a journey. It’s not a one-time fix. It takes practice and showing up again and again. It takes learning to be comfortable with the uncomfortable. It takes leaning into the pain, the uncertainty, and the curiosity. It takes saying ‘Yes’ to your desires and doing the work to bring them to life.

My journey is not your journey. I honestly don’t know many people who would follow my exact path. Why? Because it’s my path. I had to learn things the way that I learned them. I have wanted to quit many times. I’ve been tempted to go back to a steady job, but the deep knowing within me says to keep going, to keep believing, to keep trusting, and to keep taking inspired actions.

Trust in divine timing and trust that you are on the right path.

The moment you feel like you’re off track, stop, and ask for guidance. Ask your Spiritual Guides, a trusted coach or mentor, or find an Oracle to guide you in discovering the answer to your question. Know that you don’t have to do it all alone. You can receive support the moment you ask. I certainly would not be where I am today without my amazing army of support.

2020 has been asking a lot of me—to slow down, tune in, set boundaries, own my intuitive gifts, claim myself as an Oracle, focus on my business and how to best serve others using my gifts, write and share my voice, Ask for what I want, need, and desire, and trust like I’ve never trusted before. I’m learning to receive support, answers, and money (still learning this one).

I’m retiring my belief that I have to do it on my own.

Yesterday I said ‘YES’ to a plant-based medicine retreat in the Andes Mountains in Ecuador. I’ve been receiving visions of being on this retreat for about 4 months now. I kept brushing it off, and it kept coming back. I even said ‘Yes’ to this retreat in July and then I got scared and backed out. I was afraid that I wouldn’t earn the money to pay for this retreat and invest in my growth. I thought this time, I was supposed to say ‘No’. I thought it wasn’t the right timing for me to be on this retreat so I ignored the calling. A couple of weeks ago, I saw that the retreat was happening. Ecuador re-opened its borders and lifted the 14-day quarantine. I tuned in and once again, got a clear ‘Yes’ that I was meant to be on this retreat. I committed to going, and I can already feel a shift. I have no idea why I’m being called to be on this particular retreat, and I’m trusting that it’s for my highest good and the highest good of all.

The moment you say ‘Yes’ to what you’re meant to be doing, magic happens.

While life comes full circle, I believe that this time is different. This isn’t any retreat or getaway. This is the retreat that is causing me to step up to the playing field on a whole new level than I have before. It’s causing me to show up in ways I haven’t before, to be consistent in sharing my voice, to move through my fear of asking and ask for support, and to ask for you to trust me and my continued growth.

When is the last time you said ‘Yes’ to something that your soul was calling you to? How did you feel when you said Yes? How did it turn out after? I’d love to hear your story and experience. Share in the comments below or send me a message!

Can I Get Your Support?

The biggest support I could use right now is financial support through donations, booking one of my services, or sending me referrals.

1. Invest in my transformation and growth by donating to support the cost of this journey. Any donation large or small will make a difference in making this journey possible. Donate here. If you’re not on Facebook and would like to support, you can also donate via PayPal.

2. Book an Intuitive Session. Whether you’re looking for 1-on-1 support or wish to connect with your tribe on a deeper level, I have options to serve where you are right now.

   Remote Oracle Reading - If you’re looking for a quick response to a question you have, schedule a Remote Oracle Reading. Simply book on my website, message me your question, and I will tune in, pull a card, and send you a voice-recorded reading of your card. Book Here.

   Deep Clarity Session - 90-minute 1-on-1 session to support you in gaining clarity in an area of life important to you.

   Girl’s Night Inward - Gather your tribe for an Oracle Party! These evenings are a fun way to connect with your tribe on a deeper level.

3. Purchase a Gift Card. Do you know of someone in your life who could benefit from one of my services? Purchase a gift card! These do not expire and can be used at the leisure of the receiver. Purchase a Gift Card Here.

4. Spend a VIP Day with me. If you’re looking for a deeper dive and are ready to invest in yourself on a more intimate level, schedule a call to learn how a VIP day could move you forward in being seen, and owning and claiming who you are and what you desire. VIP days are customized to serve where you are right now. Schedule a 15-minute Curiosity Call here.

5. Reveal Your Soul through a transformational photoshoot experience. Whether in person or remote, I will support you in designing the photoshoot of your dreams. Get ready to be seen in a whole new light. Learn more here.

I’m grateful for you, your support, and your belief in me.

“No matter who we are, life is going to put us through the changes that we need to go through. The question is, “Are we willing to use this force for our transformation? Even intense situations don’t have to leave psychological scars if we are willing to process our changes at a deeper level. Deeply honor the transformative power of life.”

What is your mountain?

This is the question that beckoned my attention while I was climbing an actual mountain. Early on the morning of June 30, I woke with the clear knowing that I needed to go on a hike, and not just any hike, one that would challenge me. I followed this urge and headed to Mount Garfield. I had no idea that this hike—this climb—would lead me to writing 30 blogs in 30-ish days. After I climbed the mountain, I knew I needed my own challenge. After I returned from my climb, I walked the labyrinth at Six Eagles Haven and asked the question, “What IS my mountain?”

The answer was clear: Write 30 blogs in 30 days.

Well, it’s been 35 days since I embarked on this journey, so not quite 30 days, but I’ll take it. When you climb a mountain there will be detours and obstacles that get in your way. In the past, I would’ve pushed myself to complete a blog each day no matter what the cost. While I did have many occasions of finishing a blog at 2:00 and 3:00 in the morning, I had other occasions where I tuned in and listened to what my body needed. I surrendered to the process and trusted that the mini breaks in between would allow me to restore and replenish.

This blog challenge was My Surrender Experiment.

On my drive back to Dallas after being in Colorado for a month, I listened to the audiobook, The Surrender Experiment by Michael Singer. This book has been recommended to me by many people over the years. And while in Colorado, I met a woman who shared with me her life changing experience from reading this book. I had read Michael Singer’s book The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself a couple of years ago and knew the power of his work. So I knew I was ready for The Surrender Experiment.

Side note: If you’ve never read The Untethered Soul, start here. It truly is life-changing and guides you through detaching the thoughts in your head to discovering inner peace and serenity. It’s wildly powerful.

I spent the first 8 hours of my drive consumed with listening to Michael Singer read about his own Surrender Experiment. In the book, Michael (or Mickey as friends call him) so eloquently shares his life journey of surrender. He began meditation and playing with the idea of surrender in his later 20s. What started as an inquiry for Michael to go inward, shifted to the building of a community and Temple (Temple of the Universe) and the making of a billion dollar medical software company. Michael chose to live a life in full surrender of the Universe. Rather than fighting change or opportunity, he chose to surrender and be the conduit for its purpose.

This book was so profound for me. It caused me to look at my life and notice where I surrender vs. where I hold onto control. The times I do surrender are so fruitful and awe-inspiring. My solo travel journey and photoshoot mission is a beautiful example of surrender. Life flows so effortlessly when I’m in this space. I show up, trust the place to tell me where to go and follow its lead. I always end up meeting the right people, finding the right places to stay, and the most gorgeous outfits to wear (in my photoshoots).

When it comes to other areas of my life, however, I don’t so easily let go of control.

Take this blog challenge for example. I got the hit for this challenge on July 1. It took me 3 weeks to actually lean in and get started. I fought with resistance, procrastination, and the dangerous, “I’ll start tomorrow.” When I finally chose to let go of control and surrender to this challenge, I showed up and wrote the first post. I chose Surrender to be the vehicle to carry me through this challenge. When resistance showed up, I leaned into it and surrendered. When perfectionism would beckon me at each word I wrote, I would surrender and ask for support in allowing flow to come in. When exhaustion hit and I’d try to force myself to keep writing at 2 AM, I would shut my laptop, turn off the light and surrender to sleep. I chose to let go of force and allow the process to unfold naturally.

Every journey begins with a single step.

Today while I was reflecting on the completion of this challenge, I pulled the card ‘Every Journey Starts with a Single Step’ from my Sacred Rebels Oracle deck. The message was the most beautiful compliment to this challenge:

You are on a journey. Yes, it is an internal journey but there is also a physical expression of this journey that is going to become increasingly important to the fulfillment of your destiny in this lifetime. Your journey has started on the inside but its destination will be the physical expression of an internal healing. This journey will draw upon what you have learned and mastered over the course of your life—so much so, that you may feel as though your life experiences have prepared you just for this particular adventure.

You see, this journey is a spiritual gift. It is an invitation from the great loving heart of the universe, calling you into something that you would not have otherwise found. You are not supposed to know all the details, nor how it is going to work out, before you set out. You are just meant to take one step after the other. Again. And again. So that you can receive the gifts that are headed your way.

This oracle brings you particular guidance that the apparently small steps you are taking in an area of your life, important to you right now, are actually far more powerful and constructive than you realize. Sometimes we are gaining ground but the effect is not immediately obvious. This doesn’t mean that nothing is happening. It simply means that the effects of your actions are cumulative and soon they will begin to overflow into the physical world with a positive impact that may surprise you. Your inner and outer journeys are blessed with positive energy and all you need to do is keep going—one step at a time.

This Journey, this Challenge, this Surrender Experiment has been the most beautiful spiritual gift I could have received. I had no idea where this blog challenge was going to lead when I started. I trusted that I was being guided to take on this challenge for a reason. As I write my final post in this challenge, I am filled with so much gratitude, awe, and amazement. This blog challenge transformed my life. It caused me to show up for myself in ways I haven’t before—to tune in, trust the words to come, and allow myself to be seen through writing. I let go of old hurts and found deep healing within. I gained so much confidence and appreciation for who I am for myself and the world. I let go of the need to be accepted by others and instead chose to accept myself fully. I gave myself permission to be my most beautiful, authentic self. I found peace, acceptance, and love for myself and my journey.

I am so damn proud of myself for surrendering to this challenge.

What started as a nudge to climb a mountain, led me to identifying my mountain and taking the first step. Now that I’ve reached the top of this mountain, I can see more mountains in the distance. I believe I have it within me to keep climbing. For now though, I’m going to take a break and CELEBRATE THIS MOUNTAIN!

“Of my own free will, I now choose to surrender any fear or doubt about my ability to succeed. I believe in myself. I trust myself. I have faith in the unfolding journeys of my life, both internally and out in the world. Even in the face of the unknown, I know that positive energy surrounds me and I am protected. Through unconditional love, I am supported and assisted to take each step, as needs be, so that my great, creative, life journey can be all that it can be.” — With Gratitude, Sacred Rebel

Do you have a mountain that you’ve been wanting to climb and don’t know how to get started? Or do you find yourself saying again and again that you’ll start tomorrow? You do not have to be alone in your quest. Reach out and let’s uncover any blocks or obstacles that may be standing in the way from you taking the first step.

No one deserves to be forgotten.
No one deserves to fade away.
No one should come and go.
And have no one know s/he was ever even here.
No one deserves to disappear.

At the beginning of summer, I took a road trip from Dallas to Colorado. I queued up various audiobooks, podcasts, and music to listen to. I got on a Musical kick and listened to some of my favorites (Hamilton, Wicked, Waitress) and some others I hadn’t listened to in full. In the midst of my shuffle, the song “You Will Be Found” came on from the musical Dear Evan Hansen. I had never listened to the soundtrack before and wasn’t familiar with the story. I queued it up and immediately was hooked. I listened to the soundtrack and got a sense of the storyline.

Dear Evan Hansen tells the story of a young man with social anxiety disorder who so yearns to make a connection with his peers that he fabricates a relationship with a deceased student (Connor) to become closer to the boy's family. After Connor commits suicide, shy Evan Hansen finds himself at the center of the tragedy and turmoil. [Source: Stageagent]

The musical is full of emotion and hard truths about being in the shadows and not feeling seen.

There are two songs in particular that struck a chord with me: “Disappear” and “You Will Be Found”. It was a particular time in my journey where I was feeling extremely emotional and lost. I was dealing with my own grief from losing my cousin to cancer, recovering from a breakup, and shedding layers of myself that I’ve been holding onto. I was also processing all of the turmoil happening in this country (and the world) with the pandemic, upcoming election, protests, and heightened discussions of systemic racism after the news that three more Black lives were tragically taken—Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, and George Floyd.

The combination of all of this caused my nervous system to go into overload and an emotional breakdown to ensue. I allowed myself to come undone and feel. I chose to go inward and take a break from social media. I needed to take time for my own reflection on white privilege and racism without the influence of the social media world. I also wanted to take time to have conversations with people in my life about racism and white privilege, and understand how they view it from their lens. I started having Authentic Conversations with People of Color to allow their voices to be heard. I also had the opportunity to hear Black women vulnerably share their hearts and fears while attending various workshops and open forums about dismantling racism.

It’s been a time to listen to understand rather than listen to respond.

I was recently struck by the sharing of a Black woman. She mentioned how she lives in constant fear over her husband or sons being out; the fear that they could be the next Ahmaud Arbery (who was innocently shot by white men while out jogging). I listened as she shared her fears, which are of legitimate concern. She looked at the group of white women and said, “You can’t imagine what it’s like to carry this constant weight.” After she finished sharing, I thanked her and validated her fears. I told her, “No, I can’t imagine what it’s like. I can’t imagine what it’s like to live in a world where your voice and your family’s voice don’t matter. I am so sorry that you experience this on a regular basis.”

I believe at the core of being human, we all want to be seen and heard.

It’s scary to be vulnerable and share your fears, concerns, and heart with other people—especially people who don’t have the same skin color as you. And not everyone has earned the right to hear your story. This is why it’s so important to create safe environments where authentic conversations can be had; to create a space where others trust that you are truly listening to what they have to say, and to create a space where the person sharing feels they matter and are fully seen.

No one deserves to disappear.

When I returned from Colorado, I was listening to Dear Evan Hansen again and was struck with a new interpretation of the song ‘Disappear’. In the song, Connor (the character who takes his life) is singing about keeping his memory alive and not allowing his name to disappear. The lyrics stuck with me and made me think of Breonna Taylor whose life was tragically taken in the comfort of her own home.

Breonna was shot more than 8 times by police officers Jon Mattingly, Brett Hankison, and Myles Cosgrove — none of whom have been charged for her murder. They went to the wrong apartment and took another innocent Black woman’s life.

#SayHerName

“If you can somehow keep them thinking of me,
And make me more than an abandoned memory.
That means we matter too.
It means someone will see that you are there.”

— Disappear, Dear Evan Hansen

The August edition of O Magazine features Breonna Taylor on the cover. This is the first time in the history of O Magazine that Oprah has not graced its cover. Oprah gave up the cover to shine the spotlight on Breonna Taylor to share her story and raise awareness for others to #SayHerName. Vanity Fair is also following suit and featuring an edition by author and journalist Ta-Nehisi Coates to ensure that Breonna’s story does not disappear—and that justice is served.

WATCH: A Vigil in Memory of Black Women and Girls Killed by the Police.

The #SayHerName campaign launched in December 2014 by the African American Policy Forum (AAPF) and Center for Intersectionality and Social Policy Studies (CISPS), the #SayHerName campaign brings awareness to the often invisible names and stories of Black women and girls who have been victimized by racist police violence and provides support to their families. [source: AAPF]

The #SayHerName campaign is an incredible organization and cause to ensure that the names of the Black women who have died at the hands of police don’t disappear. It’s a space for Mothers who have lost their Daughters to lean on and support each other and let them know that they are not alone. It’s a safe space for these women to connect with one another to be seen and heard in a way that others simply can’t for them. And it’s a space for the names and stories of those women who were killed to be remembered and not become an abandoned memory.

No one deserves to be forgotten.
No one deserves to fade away.
No one should come and go.
And have no one know s/he was ever even here.
No one deserves to disappear.

When I was researching information for this blog, I noticed that the producers of Dear Evan Hansen had put out a statement about their stand against Racial Injustice in the world and in the Broadway sector as well as donated $100,000 to the Broadway Advocacy Coalition and Colors of Change. I could see that I was not alone in connecting the essence of these songs to Black Lives Matter.

Songs have a powerful way of connecting us to things that matter. While my love for musicals and music is great, it’s the words within the heartbeat of the song that connects me to the bigger picture. Even though this musical is about something completely unrelated to Breonna Taylor, #SayHerName, and Black Lives Matter, it caused me to connect its essence to these causes.

As we continue to navigate conversations and take inspired, radical actions around dismantling racism, I invite you to find your voice. For some of you, that may be going out on the front lines and being among the protests or providing resources for those fighting; some of you may be having difficult conversations with family and friends about racism and white privilege; some of you are providing safe spaces for men and women of color to be seen and heard; some of you are doing your own internal work to presence yourself to your own white privilege and race story; and some of you are using your voice as a writer to share wisdom, knowledge, and insight. There is no one size fits all. What matters is we each find our voice and use it for good.

Resources mentioned in this post:

• Dear Evan Hansen Broadway Musical

• O Magazine: Why Oprah Gave Up Her Cover for the First Time Ever to Honor Breonna Taylor

• LA Times: Breonna Taylor appears on cover of Vanity Fair issue edited by Ta-Nehisi Coates

• Vanity Fair: The Life Breonna Taylor Lived, In the Words of Her Mother

• Vanity Fair: The Great Fire Issue Guest Edited by Ta-Nehisi Coates

• Breonna Taylor Portrait Painted by Artist, Amy Sherald

• #SayHerName Campaign: The African American Policy Forum (AAPF)

• Broadway Advocacy Coalition

• Colors of Change

• Black Lives Matter

If you’re interested in holding a safe space for the women in your life to be seen, heard, and held, host a Girl’s Night Inward. These virtual gatherings are a beautiful way to hold space for other women in the comfort of your own homes. Reach out to see how a Girl’s Night Inward can create a space for all to share their voice and receive messages of inspiration and hope.

I Thought… A Poem by Robin Finney.

I thought you could see me. 

I thought if I jumped up and down and waved my hands in the air, you would notice me. 

I thought if I shared enough information and told enough stories, you would listen to me. 

I thought if I pushed myself hard enough, you would see I am capable. 

I thought if I ran fast enough, I could finish strong. 

I thought if I pleased and helped you enough, you’d appreciate me. 

I thought if I said and did the “right” things, you would think I am worthy. 

I thought if I shared my fears, you would think I am weak. 

I thought if I shed tears or showed my vulnerability, you would leave me. 

I thought if I got too close to you, I would be trapped. 

I thought wrong. 

Now I see. 

It wasn’t you who couldn’t see me.

It was me. 

As I near the completion of my 30-day (ish) blog challenge, I find myself filled with peace and gratitude. And, of course, satisfaction over the act of writing daily and showing up for the challenge. It’s more than the challenge though.

It’s the peace and gratitude I’ve gained through owning and accepting who I am with love.

I’ve spent much of my life lost in a ‘one-day’ spiral masked with fog wondering how I was ever going to see a clearing. Anytime I would find what I thought was “IT”, I would somehow manage to sabotage it. And then I would be left with disappointment, regret, and sadness. This pattern has repeated itself for most of my life.

At the beginning of 2020, I committed to ‘Believe and Trust’ as being my words for this year. I hoped that, by believing and trusting in myself, I would find or be shown the way forward. The best way I knew to bring this essence to life was by tuning inward and showing up for myself—even if that meant sacrificing relationships and desires for a while.

For the first time in my life, I chose me.

When you’ve lived a life centered around people-pleasing, seeking acceptance and approval, and being good, the thought of choosing yourself over others feels wrong. It’s easier to be a martyr and disappoint yourself than it is to disappoint others.

Earlier this year, I read author Glennon Doyle’s latest book, Untamed. This book rocked my world. It’s by far the most compelling book I’ve read this year, and is on my list of life-changing books. I cried. I laughed. I fumed. I loved. This book opened a part of me that’s been locked. It caused me to discover my beauty within, to take a stand for myself, and to tune inward to receive answers to the questions buried within my soul. It supported me in seeing the real me—beautiful and authentic—with great love.

Self-love, appreciation, care, acceptance…these are the greatest gifts you can give yourself.

This year, I’ve shown up for me by choosing to love myself through all of the joyful, hard, painful, and heartbreaking moments. I’ve chosen to tune in rather than hide from myself. No matter what’s going on in the external or internal world, I have chosen to tune in each day. Every morning I wake up and spend at least an hour with myself through meditation, journaling, and praying. Even when I don’t feel like it, I choose to lean in and be supported. As a result of this consistent practice, I’ve deepened my connection to my higher self and God, and I’ve learned to see my intrinsic self with love and own every part of her.

I stopped trying to change who I am.

I attended a virtual workshop about uncertainty back in the spring. At one point during the event, a light bulb turned on. I had a moment of truth revealed to me. I got out my pen and wrote down the words: I’ve spent my adult life trying to change who I am. The moments when I would start to see myself for who I am, I would get scared, run away, or hide. I’d distract myself or keep myself busy as to not have to look inward. I would convince myself that this version of me was not really me. That if I played the part that others wanted me to play, I’d be better off.

In one of my favorite Broadway musicals, Wicked, the main character Elphaba is born with green skin. Her father is completely repulsed by her. Her sister and classmates are afraid of her and look at her like she’s some kind of freak. Rather than owning who she is, she gives in to these fears and lies and suppresses who she is. She believes that if she can change who she is—the color of her skin—and be someone else, that others will finally accept her.

Did that really just happen?
Have I actually understood?
This weird quirk I've tried to suppress or hide
Is a talent that could help me meet the Wizard
If I make good
So I'll make good

When I meet the Wizard
Once I prove my worth
And then I meet the Wizard
What I've waited for since, since birth
And with all his Wizard wisdom
By my looks, he won't be blinded
Do you think the Wizard is dumb?
Or like Munchkins so small-minded?
No, he'll say to me I see who you truly are
A girl on whom I can rely
And that's how we'll begin
The Wizard and I

Once I'm with the Wizard
My whole life will change
'Cause once you're with the Wizard
No one thinks you're strange
No father is not proud of you
No sister acts ashamed
And all of Oz has to love you
When by the Wizard, you're acclaimed
And this gift or this curse
I have inside
Maybe at last, I'll know why
When we are hand in hand
The Wizard and I

And one day, he'll say to me "Elphaba
A girl who is so superior
Shouldn't a girl, who's so good inside
Have a matching exterior?
And since folks here to an absurd degree
Seem fixated on your verdigris
Would it be all right by you
If I de-greenify you?"

Elphaba was afraid to see herself in her own beauty and uniqueness. She was convinced that if she could change who she is, her life would change for better. What she learned is that by choosing to accept and own her uniqueness, she could actually change the world. She could be unlimited.

It’s been through my own wrestling and wanting to change who I am that I’ve learned to own who I am instead. To own my gifts, my beauty, my curiosity. To trust that the path I’m on is for me. To love myself and own my journey. To make a choice to never disappoint myself. To show up for myself fully. All of it.

Learning to show up for myself has been the greatest gift I could give myself this year.

With all that’s happening in this world, I’m grateful for my meditation practice and all of the tools I use from my coaching practices and transformational work to support me in this space. I have so much peace and gratitude from finally seeing my beautiful, intrinsic self.

Love yourself deeply. Make your relationship to yourself your #1 priority.

Don’t be afraid to disappoint others in order to not disappoint yourself.

Free yourself so others may find their own freedom.

Grant yourself permission to live as your truest self.

Tune in. Show up. Repeat.

Do you feel like you’ve been trying to change who you are rather than owning and loving who you are? What if who you are is exactly what this world needs? If you’re feeling lost, uncertain, or afraid to be seen, schedule a Deep Clarity Session. Together we will sift through any fog that may be clouding your vision.

How often do you stop to celebrate the big and small victories in life? Or better yet, how often do you celebrate your journey and where you are now?

It’s easy to celebrate life when things are going well and you’ve achieved something you’ve been working towards or you’ve reached a milestone such as a birthday or an anniversary.

What about the ordinary moments in life?

One of my favorite things to witness with my littles is how excited they get about everything. They love to celebrate! Whether it’s going poop in the potty (I don’t think I would’ve imagined this as a celebration before living with a family…), losing a tooth, getting a new outfit, reaching a new level on a game…kids never run out of things to celebrate. My 7-year-old niece has been talking about her birthday and how she’s going to celebrate…since her last birthday. Her 8th birthday is in October and every day, she updates her list with what she wants and how she wants to celebrate. It’s endearing to witness.

As adults, it’s easy to get caught up in the daily grind and hustle of life.

Even when we do reach a new milestone or complete a project we’ve been pouring our soul into, we rarely take time to celebrate. Perhaps we toast a glass of champagne or do a happy dance, but then it’s time to get back to work. There’s always more to do. When I started climbing my mountain (aka this 30-day blog challenge), someone responded to me, “When you reach the top, keep climbing.” I understand the sentiment…this person sees a lot in me and wants me to keep climbing. But how about taking a moment to enjoy the view and soak in the effort it took to reach the top?

I’ve worked with several different coaches who don’t let the time to celebrate pass by. My former coach, Darla, begins every call, workshop, or retreat by saying, “Let’s taken some celebrations! Who has something to celebrate?” And what I love about this is it causes each person to take a close look at their past week and what they accomplished. Sometimes it’s quiet with everyone just staring down or staring at each other. We’re all quietly thinking to ourselves, “I don’t have anything to celebrate.” And then finally someone will break the ice and share.

Celebrations can come from any achievement, accomplishment, or moment of joy.

Honestly, some days I celebrate getting out of bed. While other times, I’m celebrating completing a challenge or project. The beauty with celebrating is that neither celebration is great than the other. The more we make celebrating part of our lives, the more we’ll have to celebrate.

At the beginning of this week, I wrote the question, “How will I celebrate the completion of my blog challenge?” on my to do list. I have 3 blogs left to write after this one (eek!). The fact that I’ve written 27 blogs in this challenge is a win in itself. Yet, the question has remained on my list, unchecked and unanswered.

This morning I sat for my daily meditation and chose a guided one called Connecting to Your Intuition. The meditation was super grounding and went through a body scan and breath work. Towards the end of the meditation, the facilitator asked the question:

What do I need to give myself more of starting today?

PRAISE.

That was the word that immediately entered my mind. The facilitator prompted beforehand not to judge what answer comes and to write it down when the meditation was complete. So I did just that. I did notice myself a bit surprised that ‘Praise’ was my response. When I wrote it down though, it made so much sense. This one word led me down a path of thinking about how often I praise myself for all of my wins whether big or small. How often do I actually stop to praise my journey and where I am? Or praise my dedication to living a life of transformation? Or praise all of the adversities I’ve overcome? Or praise the fact that I LOVE my life?

It was certainly eye opening for me.

Even when you’re not having a good day, find one thing to celebrate. Even during times of waiting and wondering when “it” is going to happen, find some way to celebrate and praise who you are and how far you’ve come! The more you praise your journey and celebrate your milestones, the more there will be to celebrate!

For me, I’m still thinking about how I’m going to celebrate the completion of my blog challenge. I’m sensing a luxurious bath and dram of Scotch will be part of it.

What are some of your favorite ways to celebrate?

If you’re looking for a fun and unique way to celebrate with your tribe, book a Girl’s Night Inward! This is the perfect way to come together with those you love and admire and celebrate life.

I LOVE connecting people. I consider it one of my superpowers. I believe that I’m changing the world when I connect two souls who are out to make a difference in this world.

Today I had the pleasure of being a guest on the Feel Good Nakd Podcast. After the interview, the amazing host, Chardét, asked me if I knew of anyone who would be a good fit for being a guest on the podcast. I immediately thought of 3 bright souls who fit the essence of her platform. I connected Char with each of the 3 women. One of my connections responded, “Wow! That was quite the introduction, Robin!” That statement came because I don’t just connect people, I recreate who they are for me and this world through the power of language. I felt such a high after making these connections. It caused me to think about other powerful connections in my life.

They’re not just connections, they’re soul connections.

Shortly after moving to Dallas, my sister mentioned that there was a woman I had to meet. She just knew that we would hit it off. The only caveat was this woman had just left on a year and a half long journey to Southeast Asia with her partner. It was a time before the ease of virtual connections that we have now. When she returned from her journey, my sister learned she was having a photo gallery showcasing various photos from her journey. We RSVP’d to come. When I arrived at the party, I saw the woman and a felt an instant connection. I was intrigued by her life and wanted to learn more about her journey traveling. It was secretly something I wanted to do and had not vocalized to many people.

The woman’s name is Ashlie Woods. I had no idea that meeting Ashlie that night would change the trajectory of my life. It was part of my journey for us to meet, and I had no idea at the time what this new found connection would bring me. It was a true soul connection.

I consider Ashlie one of my greatest teachers, mentors, soul sisters, and spirit animals. She has taken a stand for my transformation in numerous ways, and continues to be one of my biggest cheerleaders and supporters. This one connection led to me being photographed by Ashlie on numerous occasions. She is the person who opened my eyes to my own unique beauty during a Celebration Photoshoot in 2015, showed me how fun it can be to have photos taken in a foreign country (Guatemala in 2017), guide me through my first meditation and international retreat, and be the catalyst for quitting my corporate job and embarking on my soulo nomadic journey. To this day, my sister prides herself in this connection. And I am forever grateful to her for doing so.

What goes around, comes around.

A few years after I met Ashlie, she moved to Mexico for 6 months or so. I learned that my former coach, Darla LeDoux would be in Mexico (not far from where Ashlie was living) to lead a retreat. Darla’s wife, Kimmi (who is also a photographer), was going to be there as well. I instantly knew I had to connect Ashlie with Darla and Kimmi. I knew that Ashlie and Darla would connect over being retreat leaders, and that she and Kimmi would connect on over being photographers. Just as my sister had no idea what connecting me with Ashlie would bring, I had no idea what connecting Ashlie with Darla and Kimmi would bring. It was another beautiful soul connection that led to life-changing results. Ashlie ended up joining one of Darla’s Mastery Programs a year or so later.

Over the years, I’ve connected numerous people to both Ashlie and Darla’s work. These women have both made such a profound and life-changing difference in my life. It’s been amazing to witness others that I’ve connected to their work have their own life-changing experiences.

Fun Fact: Darla and my sister Ginger, were roommates in Cincinnati more than a decade ago. It was another beautiful soul connection orchestrated by my sister.

Authentic Connections provide a deepening of relationships on a beautiful and vulnerable soul level.

I recently held a Girl’s Night Inward for a group of women who have known each other for more than 30 to 40 years. They’ve seen each other through the best and difficult times in their lives. The woman who hosted the evening was celebrating her birthday. She and her friends were spread out in different countries. And because of the pandemic, they were unable to be together in person. She learned of Girl’s Night Inward from reading my blog. She sent me an email expressing her interest. After that, we scheduled the date. Her lifelong friends were all able to attend.

Girl’s Night Inward is an Oracle party for your inner circle, tribe, clients…to name a few. It’s a beautiful and fun way to bring women together virtually in a safe space where all are seen and heard. During the session, I pull an Oracle card for each person based on a question or inquiry they have about an area of life that’s important to them. I read the messages one-by-one and ask that everyone in the session listen for themselves what each message is saying. These are not just card readings; they are a way to connect women on a deeper soul level. Everyone who attends one of these sessions walks away feeling loved and seen. I often refer to myself as an Authentic Connector, and after this last session, I was so present to being a connector of souls. I felt so much joy and gratitude for this work and my intuitive gifts. It lights me up to be a channel for deep connection.

Connecting others provides much purpose and meaning for our lives.

So much of my nomadic journey, the countries I visit, and opportunities I experience have come to life because one person chose to connect me with someone they know. I’ve had many amazing places to stay, meals offered, and magic happen because of a single connection.

• My photographer in Mexico connected me with my photographers in Colombia for my international photoshoots.

• My zip lining instructor in Peru connected me with her sister in Argentina who photographed me and gave me a place to stay.

• My friend Joy connected me to an old friend from high school (Alvaro) who now lives in Barcelona. Through that connection, I now have a place to stay when I’m visiting, and I got to be guest on Alvaro’s podcast, Uncommon Tourist.

• My sister connected me (again!) to an old friend of hers in Tunisia (Ahlem) who then became my friend and connected me with photographers and stylists for my 2 Tunisian photoshoots.

These are a few life-changing experiences that I can think off the top of my head. There are many, many more. Most of my journey has been in sync because of the connections I’ve made.

Think about your life and the beautiful souls who are in it. Who do you know that could be served by you connecting them with another beautiful soul in your life? If you have a friend who is wanting to create something or embark on a new journey, think of who you know that might make a difference for them. How can you change the world by connecting people in your life?

Are you looking to connection to your tribe or inner circle on a deeper level? Host a Girl’s Night Inward and watch the life-changing magic unfold.

I’m no stranger to writing about Fear. I’ve written about it many times in my blog and journal about it often. In a recent post, Fear was defined as False Evidence Appearing Real. Fear arises to protect us while also hold us back from taking chances, putting ourselves out there, and being seen. It fills our head with thousands of reasons why we shouldn’t do something and if we’re not careful, it can easily convince us not to move forward.

Have you ever asked Fear what it wants or needs?

Before I dive into this question, I want to presence myself to this journey and how it’s all coming full circle. This blog is the 25th blog in my 30-day blog challenge. When I started this challenge, I had no idea what would come of it. I wasn’t sure how I was going to manage coming up with a new topic every day and to be consistent in my writing practice. Yet, here we are. I have shown up each day/ late at night to fulfill my commitment to myself. I’ve confronted Fear many times throughout this challenge by learning to lean in and get curious about it. A beautiful awakening has been happening within me. And it all started when I chose to shift my relationship and view of Fear.

Fear is not going away so you might as well befriend it.

Author Elizabeth Gilbert writes about Fear in her book Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear. A dear friend of mine gifted me this book a couple of years ago. At the time I wasn’t in a mental space to receive the wisdom of this book. I tucked it away as a ‘one day’ read. Books are all about timing. Sometimes we’re ready to receive the message of the book while other times, we’re simply not ready. Last year, I finally took the time to read this book. It was a compelling read and one that sparked curiosity around my own creative work. It’s a book I am re-reading again as I dive further into my own writing. In the book, Liz writes about her creative processes around writing and having the patience to hold onto your work until the timing is right.

I’ll never forget reading this book and being struck with awe around her view of Fear:

She creates a beautiful relationship between Fear and creativity. Fear is never going away, so give it a seat and a place at the table. Don’t diminish it. Allow it to be present. Allow it to have a voice. But don’t allow it to have a vote on how things will go.

I started working with a new coach and mentor. Today we had our first session which was super profound. Prior to the call, she asked me to answer this question: What do I desire to have in my life more than anything else? I spent some time journaling about this question. I felt Fear arise as I tuned in and asked to be shown what I truly desire right now. I immediately judged my answer, but rather than dismissing it, I allowed it to be. I kept my answer and brought it to the call.

Most of the session was spent in a deep meditation. Kim took me on a sensory journey to stand with my desire. I found myself on a familiar beach that I often visit in meditation. I was standing with my toes in the sand basking in the warmth of the sun and the movement of the waves coming in and out across my feet. She asked me what I was feeling and what it felt like to be with my desire. My mind was open but my body was growing more and more tense. I felt a tightness closing in on the left side of my neck. It felt like a band was squeezing its way around my neck and throat. She asked if I felt okay to be with the pain and explore it. Yes, I wanted to know what was causing this pain.

Fear was closing in around me. Like a black band of moldable clay wrapping its way around me tighter and tighter to prevent me from receiving my desire.

When I was in Colorado recently, another coach of mine, Allison, asked me to draw fear. Thick, black, rubbery, like a rope or band that could be stretched and molded. I immediately knew this was Fear coming to hold me down and keep me from moving forward. She kept asking me to describe it and say out loud what it was wanting. She then asked me to ask My Fear, “What do you want? What do you need?”

Give Fear a voice.

Imagine if a child was scared or afraid of something. You most likely wouldn’t abandon it or shrug it off as no big deal. No. You would likely cozy up to the child, put your arm around them, and ask why they are scared. You would lean in and comfort the child and support them in releasing their Fear. Now imagine that the child is your inner child, deep within you, afraid and scared. Asking for your support. Would you comfort it?

Tears immediately filled my eyes as I asked Fear what it wants and needs. In the clearest voice, I heard the words—A Hug. To be nurtured and loved. To be acknowledged and noticed. Attention. To be seen. The more I leaned in and asked Fear these questions, the more the pain in my body and the tight band around my neck loosened.

When Fear shows up, take a moment to lean in and ask what it wants or needs.

Really allow yourself the space to lean in and ask. Trust that the answers that arise are the answers that are ready to be revealed. If nothing shows up, don’t force it. Give it time, love, and encouragement. When it’s ready (and really, when you’re ready), trust. Trust that you are being held by love and no matter what answers arise, you can hold it. And if you’re not in a space to hold it, call upon your Spirit Guides to hold it for you. Call in your support and allow yourself to be supported.

This was a profound experience for me. I’ve been leaning into Fear for many years now, and I’ve never thought to ask Fear what it wants or needs. I was very present to my inner child and her desire for love, attention, affection, and acknowledgment. So often I seek these desires to be fulfilled from other people rather than from myself. I look to others to provide this support and when they don’t, I find myself disappointed, hurt, and alone. My expectations are squashed and I’m left feeling abandoned.

Being starts with Self.

The beautiful reminder in all of this is that love, attention, affection, acknowledgment…starts from within. Our most important relationship is our relationship to self. Our relationship to self requires nurturing, unconditional love, acceptance, nourishment, and attention (as if it were a young child seeking support). It requires us to invite Fear in and ask it what it really needs. If we’re not making our Self our #1 priority and giving it the attention it desires, we will not be able to fully give of ourselves or receive from others.

Self-love, Self-Appreciation, Self-care…all of it is vital to our overall well-being.

This. All of this is what is coming to life through this blog challenge. The more I lean into the pain and Fear, the more I’m able to find freedom, love, and appreciation. It’s all connected. There’s beauty in all of it.

Have you ever befriended your Fear and asked it what it really wants and needs? What could be made possible for yourself and your life by choosing to lean in?

If you find yourself paralyzed by your own Fear or uncertain as to what is hiding within, schedule a 1:1 Deep Clarity Session. Together we will dive in and ask Fear what it really wants and needs.

From a young age, I thought something was wrong with me. I felt like I didn’t belong or fit in with others. I tried so hard to find acceptance and approval from my family, friends, teachers…pretty much everyone. I thought if enough people liked me then I would be okay, and that these strange sensations and mood swings would go away. Yet, how much people liked me didn’t really matter. It wasn’t about them; it was my own internal battle. I would notice my energy shift. One minute I’d be laughing and having a good time and the next I’d be uncomfortable and wanting a way out. The shifts never made sense to me. I thought it there was something wrong that couldn’t be fixed. I had no idea that these sensations and shifts in energy were part of my Human Design.

I learned to hide and runaway.

When things were uncomfortable or I felt unsafe, I would hide or runaway. I would curl myself up in a tiny ball in the closet, under my covers, or in a corner where no one would find me. I would run deep into the woods and find refuge. When I couldn’t hide, I learned to block out what was going on and find sanctuary deep in my imagination. I learned to survive in the midst of chaos. As long as my inner sanctuary was free from chaos, I was safe.

Even as a child, I could feel in my body when something wasn’t safe. I took measures to protect myself. Hiding was the best way I knew to do so.

In high school, I would stay at my friend Spencer’s house to escape when things felt unsafe or tense at home. It became my second home. Yet, even in the comfort of my friend’s house, I still felt I didn’t belong at times. When my friends would have parties, I’d come and enjoy being with my friends. And then my energy would shift and I would suddenly feel out of place. The only thing I knew to do was remove myself from the situation. Even if it was 1:00 or 2:00 in the morning, I would sneak out of the house without a word or a note and drive back to my house. My friends would call the next day and ask where I went. I would come up with some excuse, because I honestly had no idea how to explain it.

I wasn’t aware that I was sensing things in my body. I wasn’t present to being empathic. I was making the choice to hide or run, without knowing why.

What I didn’t know was that my body was energetically protecting me. My body would signal to me that something was off and would protect me from situations that felt anxious, threatening, uneasy, or triggering. There actually wasn’t anything wrong with me. I had a gift for for sensation and without putting words to it, my body knew.

Sometimes we think our gifts are holding us back. When in reality, by embracing our gifts, we can move forward.

It’s only been within the past year that I’ve become aware of my Human Design and Spiritual Gifts. And to be honest, it’s only been within the past couple months that I’ve been able to make any sense of these patterns of hiding, running away, or escaping in my mind. So my Sly Fox, Where’d You Go, Robin? can rest peacefully at night knowing that nothing is actually wrong with me. I’m gifted and learning how to use my gifts in ways that support me in my design and support others in finding clarity and being seen. By leaning into my gifts, I’ve been able to lift the veil from hiding and allow myself to fully be seen.

Energy varies from person to person. Some people can attend parties, be among crowds or stressful situations and not be phased. For me, however, I have to take extra care in preparing when I’m going to be in a crowd or intense environment. I’m highly sensitive and I own that. With this awareness, I can take precautions to protect my energy in advance, and also be okay leaving if it doesn’t align with where I am. And when I’m in a space where I can’t leave or don’t want to leave, I can pause, take a few deep breaths to reground myself, and engage back in the moment.

Being empathic and having the ability to sense, see, and feel things it’s actually a gift, and one that I’m grateful to have. I’m able to read the energy of a room or space and tune into my body. This gift has supported me in having beautiful experiences traveling all over the world. I attract to incredible people and experiences simply by owning and trusting my body. I feel lucky and fortunate to have this ability to tune in and trust that I am being guided to experiences that feel safe and supportive to me.

How about you? Are you an empath or notice yourself feeling tense or drained a lot? Do you notice your energy shifting from one moment to the next? Do you know that there’s actually nothing wrong with you, and that it’s part of your unique design? Awareness is the first step to embracing this gift. If you find yourself wanting support or guidance around managing, protecting, and embracing your energy, schedule a Deep Clarity Session to dive deeper.

Learning How to Protect & Clear Your Energy

Learning to protect and clear your energy takes patience, practice, and purpose.

I’ve been learning practices that support me in keeping my energy clear when I’m in groups or crowds, holding space for others in a coaching session, around discomfort or intense moments, or any time I’m picking up others’ energy that’s not mine to carry. Recently after conducting a 1:1 intuitive session, I noticed my energy being drained after. I was so lit up and on fire while leading the session, and when the session was over, I felt completely drained. I was tired and felt the need to rest. I messaged my dear friend and Collective Spirit sister, Manda Stack, and asked if she had any guidance. Manda is an intuitive specialist and guide and founder of My Divine Intuition. She supports others in better understanding their intuition, “sixth sense”…in other words, untapped resource. I had the pleasure of spending a year with Manda while participating in Darla LeDoux’s yearlong Collective, and I’ve hired Manda several times for a Personal Energy Clearing. I knew if there was anyone who could support me with this question, it would be Manda.

Together Manda and I talked through my sessions and how I prepare my energy before, during, and after a session. If you’re a healer, intuitive & spiritual guide, coach, or empath, these tips may be supportive to you.

Pre-Session (or Before You Gather with Others)

• Set an Intention. How would you like to feel during your session or meeting? Allow yourself to get present to your intention and feel it in your body.

• Setup Your Environment. Make sure your space is clean and aligns with your energy. This includes making sure your camera is facing away from the light (so you are in the spotlight) and at a height that is eye level (for virtual sessions). I like to lay out crystals around my space, hold one or keep one in my pocket during the session to support in transmitting energy.

• Stand in You Power Pose. Before you go live or enter the room, claim your space and your power. Choose a power pose that opens your body up and allows you to expand and take up space. My favorite is Wonder Woman pose (hands on hips like I’m owning the room). Amy Cuddy’s TED Talk on body language will support in creating your power pose.

• Allow Nature to Receive Energy as it Moves. Metaphorically speaking. When you’re working with others it’s important to ensure that your energy is not running through you. It is not your job to hold other people’s energy. You can create a visualization that will support you in channeling energy to something besides your body. Imagine that you have a tree, body of water, or the support of the earth to catch the energy when it’s flowing so you are not taking it in.

• Create a Cocoon or Orb around Your Body. Visually imagine that you are stepping inside a coconut or that you have a protective energy bubble around your body. Envisioning this can support in holding onto your own energy and keeping it safe from letting anyone else’s energy enter your field.

• Call Upon the Support of Your Higher Power and Spirit Guides. Before beginning, call upon your Spirit Guides to support you in protecting your energy. Archangel Michael is the Archangel of Protection. Call upon him to protect your energy from being consumed by another.

During the Session (or while in the presence of others)

• Trust Your Pre-work to Support You. Trust that everything you did to prepare for your session will be supportive of you during the session.

• Begin with a Meditation or Short Breathing Exercise. A short meditation or taking a few deep breaths is a great way to ground yourself and your client(s) at the beginning of the call. They are likely anxious too. It will allow both of you to start on an even plain.

• Be Your Authentic Self and Allow Your Gifts to Shine. Tune into your light and magic. Trust that who you are is enough and that your gifts will guide the session.

After the Session

• Release. After the session, it’s important to release any energy or notes that are no longer needed. I like to take any notes that I’ve written and lovingly release them back to the universe. I will say a short prayer of gratitude for the person or persons who participated in the session and release the notes through burning or symbolically releasing. This is a great way to complete the session for both you and your client.

• Ground Yourself. If you can, step outside and stand barefoot in the ground for a couple moments. This will allow you to re-center your energy and ask the earth to receive anything that doesn’t belong to you.

• Shake or Tap. Shaking and Tapping can be great ways to move any stuck energy in your body and release it from your vessel. Katherine Bird is a transformational leader, healer, Shaman, channel, and guide who has some beautiful shaking exercises to support healers and empaths.

• Meditate. If you’re feeling weighed down or full of anxious energy after a session, try a meditation designed to release energy. I love Pura Rosa on Insight Timer. She has a beautiful, healing meditation that I use as a go to—Empath Energy & Emotion Realignment + Protection.

• Trust. Trust that the energy is clear. If you notice anything off in your body, you can tune into one of these practices.

Most importantly, know that you have a gift. You are a conduit for others to expand and own who they are.

What are some practices that you like to embody to support in your energy clearing?

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

We don’t always know the impact that we make on others. Just by being your authentic self, expressing kindness and love you have the power to transform someone’s life for better.

Recently, my sister received a call from someone she knew when she lived in Cincinnati. He wanted her to know that her enthusiasm and zest for life left an impression on him. In 2009, my sister, her husband and I met in Seattle to attend an epic Coldplay concert at the Gorge Amphitheater. It was the concert of a lifetime. The concert started at dusk as the sun was beginning to set. I’ll never forget Chris Martin walking out onto the stage and the crowd bursting into screaming and applause. They played for a solid 3 hours. The band moved their set all throughout the crowd of 24,000 people. We felt like we were right on stage with him. After my sister returned to Cincinnati, she was sharing the details of this magical event with her coworkers. And 11 years later, she received a phone call from one of the men in attendance letting her know that her sharing of that experience left an impression on his life. He was so drawn into the recreation of the event and how lit up my sister was. To us, this was a memorable evening, but not to anyone who wasn’t there (or so we thought). Her storytelling left an impression. He felt something when she shared.

Some people you meet for a day, others you meet for life.

When I started on my solo travel journey, I became very present to the beautiful, kind souls I would encounter. My motto became: Some people you meet for a day, others you meet for life. Neither is greater than the other. It’s true. I met people from all over the world on a daily basis. I would make instant connections with people over a meal or sitting next to them on a train or on a tour or excursion. I would connect with all of my Airbnb hosts, learn their stories and hold a piece of their kindness in my heart. Some I may never see again, yet I’ll never forget the way they made me feel. I’ll never forget when I was traveling in Morocco, I stayed at the most charming Airbnb with a rooftop overlooking the mountains. When I arrived, the first thing my host asked me was if I had any laundry to wash. I nearly started crying. A simple gesture like offering to wash clothes, was huge to a nomad! He took my entire bag of dirty clothes, washed them, and had them folded and waiting for me. In Peru and Argentina, I had hosts who both went out and purchased blenders after I asked if they had one for use. It was not something they had to do, yet the simple gesture made my stay feel more like home.

And then there was Manuel, a Colombian man who helped me find my Airbnb after I had been wandering the town for over an hour not knowing where it was. I had left my phone behind and had no map or sense of direction. I barely spoke Spanish and there were no street signs. I was in near tears, and Manuel saw me and yelled out to me. To him, he was helping a stranded traveler; to me, it felt like he was an angel sent down from Heaven to guide me.

There were other people I met during my travels that became instant friends and people who are still part of my journey today. And those people have no greater impact than the people that I only met for a day or a moment. All have left lasting impressions on my life.

One gesture of kindness can lead to synchronicity and beautiful alignment.

In 2018, I traveled to Peru for a 10-day meditation retreat. It was my year of unplanned adventures. I only bought one-way tickets and left it up to the Universe to guide me where to go. I knew I wanted to stay in Peru for a bit longer and had no set plans after the retreat. After talking to some people who had traveled in Peru, I decided to head to Colca Canyon, which is one of the largest canyons in the world after the Grand Canyon. I had no ideas of what to do when I got there, I just got on a bus and headed that way. I started looking online to see if there was anything interesting in terms of excursions and saw that there was a zip line that goes across the canyon…sign me up! I went during off-season and ended up being the only person zip lining that day. I got to spend the day with 3 amazing instructors from Argentina and Uruguay. We had so much fun going from course to course. It was exhilarating and the most extreme zip lining I’ve experienced to date. After I completed the course, I was set to head back to my hotel. They invited me to stay and have lunch with them. Before I knew it, I was in their kitchen and they were cooking. And next thing I knew, it was dinner. We ended up spending the entire day together. I was heading to Argentina at some point after Peru. I shared my mission of modeling in photoshoots and Juana mentioned that her sister is a photographer in Buenos Aires. It was all divine synchronicity. I later connected with her sister when I went to Buenos Aires and had an awesome photoshoot with her. At the end of the evening together, Juana and her boyfriend were planning to walk back to town to wait at the bus station for an early morning bus departure. I stayed with them all evening and the three of us walked 2 hours under the dark starlit sky back to town. It was such a memorable experience that all started with an invitation for a meal and ended with a memory imprinted on my heart—not to mention connection for a photographer in Argentina!

Stop for one second. Think about a second that changed your life forever.

This past May, my Dad became extremely ill. Earlier in the year he was having abdominal complications, and was set to have a colonoscopy and then COVID hit. All minor procedures came to a halt. In May his pain became worse and worse. We were concerned and thought that he needed to go to the hospital. My Mom stayed up with him all night as he was bent over the toilet in pain. Early on the morning of Mother’s Day, my Mom finally decided she needed to call an ambulance and get him to the hospital. He was becoming lethargic and was not present to where he was. Two paramedics showed up at the house with a stretcher. The stretcher couldn’t get in the house because there were too many obstacles in the way. They walked in and picked my dad up and carried him out of the house. He was lethargic for nearly 3 days. It was determined that he had Severe Sepsis. If he had shown up any later, he likely would have died. Thanks be to God, my Dad survived. He stayed in the hospital for a week and spent the following 6 to 8 weeks recovering. When he was feeling well enough, he paid a visit to the hospital to find the two paramedics who helped him. To them, they were just doing their job. To my dad, they saved his life. My dad will never forget those men, nor will my family. If they had come any later, this may have been a different story.

And then, there’s my friend Madeline. 9 years ago, her second child, Elliott was born. There was no cause for concern prior to his birth. However, when he came out of the womb, Elliott was found slumped over and blue. He couldn’t breathe. He had to be incubated. There was a doctor there who came in a flash, incubated Elliott and literally saved his life. On Elliott’s 8th birthday, Madeline was reflecting and thought about that doctor. There hasn’t been a week pass by that she hasn’t thought of that day and wondered where the doctor was. She never had the chance to meet him and thank him for saving her baby’s life. He wasn’t from Australia. The only thing she had was a name (Dr. Meswani) and an email address. Madeline emailed Dr. Meswani and shared her gratitude with him for saving her son’s life. He replied back and said that he wished Elliott a good life, and that he was grateful to Madeline for contacting him. It made such a difference to know that what he does makes a difference in this world, and that he’ll continue to do great work. For Madeline and her family, everything was complete. The hospital later put together a video to document Elliott’s story and the connection to the doctor who saved his life.

Watch a video here of Elliott’s story of finding the doctor who saved his life.

Your presence can lead to a beautiful connection when you least expect it.

Last week I received a submission on my website for an inquiry about hosting a Girl’s Night Inward session. A women who lives in Switzerland reached out to me and mentioned that she’s been following my journey and reading my blog for a couple of years. We were in a When to Jump Facebook group together and she remembered hearing about my journey. She saw that I was offering Oracle parties as a way to bring people together in a fun, unique, and meaningful way. Her birthday was coming up and for the first time in years, she would be separated from her friends due to COVID. She wanted to find a way to bring everyone together for a deeper connection. Today, we celebrated Michele’s birthday along with her tribe who were in different parts of the world. It was such a special day and way to bring everyone together virtually. And it all happened because I made an impression on Michele. It came full circle today. I was so humbled and honored to be a part of her special day and be the connector for bringing her tribe together. After the session was over, I stood in gratitude for the beautiful synchronicity of life and for creating a beautiful way to bring people together that deepens their spiritual bond and friendship.

If someone has made an impact on you, tell them. If you can’t tell them, share their story.

We may never know what our words or actions will mean to another person. We never know how what seems like a small gesture to us, could be a life-changing moment to another person. These stories and all of the stories I hold in my heart are reminders to be kind and hospitable to others. To live life every day with the intent to make a difference. Whether that’s smiling or saying hello to someone in the store, thanking the essential workers and mail carriers for their service, helping a stranger with directions, or offering a cold bottle of water to someone in need…there’s never a shortage of where we can lead life with our hearts. Simply by BEING you—your beautiful, authentic self.

In a world where you can be anything, be kind.

If you’re looking for a fun and meaningful way to connect with your tribe, host a Girl’s Night Inward Oracle Party. You will walk away knowing yourself and your tribe on a deeper level.

“Facing the sun is a choice a sunflower makes every single day.”

Have you ever noticed how a sunflower closes its petals when light is dim and darkness draws near? And when the light from the sun shines through, the sunflower spreads its petals far and wide?

Sunflowers make any dark day feel a little bit brighter.

I’ve always loved sunflowers. I remember planting sunflowers in the garden when I was a child. And when I say planting, I mean we’d throw our sunflower seeds out in the field and later the seeds would sprout and burst into big, bright sunflowers. The sunflowers that grew wildly in my yard as a child were some of the largest sunflowers I’ve seen. They were several feet tall with thick stalks, big black centers, and bright yellow petals. They made any dark day feel a little bit brighter.

I had no idea at such a young age that sunflowers would be such a profound symbol in my life as an adult.

Last year I began noticing signs from the universe. It started with seeing repeat numbers. I began to see 35 on the hour several times throughout the day. I’ve seen 35 each day for well over a year now. The numbers also grew into multiples like 11:11, 1:11, 2:22, 3:33, 4:44, and 5:55. I began recording the number patterns I’d see. As I would see a number, I would look up the meaning and take them as a sign from the Universe. I now know that the ability to see and recognize signs is a gift of mine.

In May 2019, I visited Six Eagles Haven for the first time. Two of my dear friends and I traveled there to support building a labyrinth. We spent the weekend collecting rocks and thoughtfully laying them throughout the labyrinth. It was one of the most profound spiritual experiences I’ve had. I began noticing bees clinging to several rocks I picked up. That would be the first occurrence of many signs to come with bees.

After that trip, I headed to California for a retreat. While on the retreat I had asked for a sign about whether or not to invest in myself and join a yearlong coaching program. We did a releasing ceremony at the beach. We each selected a rock and released it into the ocean as a symbol of letting go. I chose to let go of the limiting belief that I’m not worth it. As I walked down to the beach, I asked God to give me a sign and make it clear if I was meant to enroll in this coaching program or not. I picked up my rock and yelled out, “I’M WORTH IT!” As I released my rock into the ocean, my three bracelets that were on my wrist also released from my control into the ocean. It was my sign. I enrolled in the program and trusted that I was being called into something greater.

After I said Yes to the coaching program, we were each gifted with Alana Fairchild’s Sacred Rebels deck. The first card I drew from the deck was the Inspiration card. On the front, it has a beautiful illustration of a woman wearing a headdress with bees around it. In the message, it speaks of receiving an inspired idea or inspiration that is important to my creative and spiritual growth. It also talks about the spirit totem of the bee:

The bee is bringing you healing medicine-wisdom from nature to aid the message of the oracle of Inspiration. The bee is a powerful spirit totem. Bees are able to fly with wings that are significantly small in proportion to their heavier bodies. They can do so because of the sheer speed with which their wings move.

I wasn’t quite sure what my idea or inspiration would be. I remained open and trusted that I would be guided down the path towards bringing it to life.

Life was showing me signs. I had a choice to ignore them or follow them.

Whenever I travel, I always set an intention for each country I visit. Setting intentions supports me in being more present to what I want to achieve or experience. In August 2019, I visited Spain for the first time. As mentioned in Discovering Beauty in All Things, Spain was a healing and heart-opening journey for me. My intention for that country was to heal and open my heart to new possibilities. When I arrived in Morocco a month after my time in Spain, I pulled a card for this new country and journey. I pulled the Inspiration card…again. It was another sign that the Universe was wanting to get my attention. Just a week after pulling that card, I was met with love—something I was not expecting, and something the healing work in Spain was leading me to.

It was on this journey that I chose to bee a sunflower and face the sun.

Early in our relationship, I was referred to as a sunflower. It was sweet and endearing so I accepted it. Sunflowers began showing up more and more in my journey. I would notice them growing in the wild and painted on the sides of buildings. I would buy myself bouquets from the market and would find myself drawing them in my journal. I embodied the essence of the sunflower. After my breakup, I found myself annoyed when I would see sunflowers. I didn’t feel like a light anymore and was wanting to be in the dark not face the light.

Last month while journeying back to Colorado, I noticed sunflowers everywhere. On the side of the road, growing in the wild, and sporadically throughout the land at the retreat center where I was staying. I’d be out hiking and notice a lone sunflower shining tall and proud in the sunlight. Every time I’d see a sunflower, I’d think of my relationship and believe that it was a sign that things were shifting and maybe, just maybe, we’d realign. I finally re-framed my view and asked for guidance around why I was seeing sunflowers. Was it him? Was it coincidence? Or was it me?

One day it all clicked.

I AM the sunflower. I am seeing sunflowers as a reminder of who I AM in this world. I am a bright light who chooses to face the sun even when I’m in the dark and feel like I can’t face the light. This year has felt dark on many levels, and I somehow keep choosing to face the sun and allow my light to heal and inspire others. This is why I chose to have a sunflower as part of my new tattoo design. Its symbolism has been so profound for me, and it’s something I continue to choose and embody.

I pulled the Inspiration card again yesterday…I’m listening, Universe. I asked for guidance around what’s being birthed out of this blog challenge: Inspiration. New ideas.

“Allow inspiration to fill you with enthusiasm, an expectation of magic and marvelous synchronicity, as people, situations and opportunities fall into place to help bring your inspiration into reality. This idea has the potential to flower into so much more than you realize.”

The synchronicity of life is beautiful when you can take a step back and view it from a broader perspective. Even when you don’t know where an inspiration is leading you, or how you’re going to face the light again when everything feels so dark around you, trust the signs. Trust the light. Then one day, you will be able to connect the signs, and view them from the perspective of beauty and see the beauty and synchronicity in all of it.

“Facing the sun is a choice a sunflower makes every single day.”

Thank you to my dear soul friend, Sabine, for sharing this quote with me and seeing that I am a sunflower choosing to face the sun every single day.

What signs do you notice again and again? If you’re not sure if they’re signs, ask yourself— “Do I keep seeing the same numbers or symbols?” Open your awareness and ask to be shown signs of whether or not your on the right path. Ask for guidance around the signs you notice and choose to believe that they are showing up for the most beautiful, synchronized reasons. Choose to believe. Choose to face the sun. Every single day.

This morning as I sat down to meditate, I opened Insight Timer and came across a mediation titled “Your Gift, Your Purpose.” The description was enticing to me so I chose to tune in.

Dora Kamau (the beautiful oracle), starts the meditation with an inquiry:

Picture giving a friend or loved one a gift—maybe it’s for their birthday or for Christmas or just because. You put so much intention and thought into giving them this special gift. Months later you see them again and realize that they haven’t opened the gift. The gift is sitting there in their home, on their shelf, collecting dust, waiting to be opened. How would that make you feel?

So imagine now when the Creator or the Higher Powers, the powers that be, have given you a gift; a gift that only you possess; that has been given to you—for you and made for you to share with the world, but you keep your gift on the shelf, tucked away waiting to be opened and used.

This opening story or inquiry was very confronting for me. First of all, I have been in a similar situation (as described at the beginning) where I’ve poured my heart into a gift only for it to be left unopened and underappreciated. And the feelings I experienced were hurt and shame over ‘why did I buy this gift in the first place?’. In other words, it didn’t feel good. And second, it caused me to ask, “What are my gifts? Do I have any gifts that I’m not using?”

For most of my life, I felt so out of touch with the use of the word “gifts”. I would hear people speak of Spiritual gifts or talents that have been entrusted specifically to them. Yet, I had a difficult time connecting to that. I thought it was something that only a small subset of people was blessed with.

Even when I left my corporate job after 11 years, I convinced myself that I had no skills. My skills were specific to my industry—which was a total limiting belief, of course. It felt like that though. I had been doing the same job for many years, working on the same projects year after year and really felt like I didn’t have any transferable skills. I was also burned out and had no idea what I wanted to do to create income and sustain my new lifestyle of being a nomad.

I was focused on the skills I had to offer and was not present to any special gifts I might possess.

I’ve picked up various contract jobs over the past 2 years to cover my bills. 95% of the work I’ve supported others in has been writing—blogs, podcast scripts, website copy. And even getting paid to write, I still ignored writing as a gift. It’s a skill I possess.

What is the difference between a skill and a gift? Through my interpretation and life experience, I define them as:

• A skill is something that is learned, perfected, and used again and again to develop a level of expertise.

• A gift is something that is innate, special, and sometimes not explainable (at least in a concrete form).

I believe that the two can be interchangeable at times. Sometimes we have skills that translate into gifts on a deeper level. For example, for me, writing is a skill. It is a learned practice in school to form sentences and be able to put concepts together. The gift lies in its depth and unconscious application of it. I often wake up in the middle of the night and receive downloads. When sparked with an inspiration (or download as I like to call it), I will grab my phone or journal and start writing. Words will flow through and out of me. The next day I’ll go back and read what I wrote, and I’ll be in awe of what was written. I impress myself sometimes with my own genius (as Gay Hendrick’s refers to in his book The Big Leap).

It wasn’t until I went on my own spiritual journey that I began to discover my intuitive gifts.

If you had asked me at the start of my nomadic journey if I was an intuitive or an empath, I would’ve denied it. Even when I was traveling and experiencing synchronicity after synchronicity, I wasn’t present to having any sort of special gifts. I just assumed that my experiences were working out because of luck or coincidence.

Last year, I took a big leap and signed up for a yearlong coaching program with Darla LeDoux of Sourced Experience called the Beautifully Aligned Collective. At the beginning of the program, Darla posted a survey in our forum asking us to choose which statements resonated with us. I’ll never forget going through the list and feeling aligned with all of them except for number 3:

You are intuitive or empathic, or have even occasionally wondered if you may be psychic. You pick up on things that others don’t, or simply know things even though you didn’t acquire the knowing through logic. You often find yourself knowing what to say to someone that is just want they need to hear, even if you don’t know how you knew to say it.

My coach Julie responded and said that it will be interesting to see how this shows up as I live more from the inner self and become less concerned with the outer self and circumstances. It wasn’t long after that survey that I began to be more aware and present to my intuition. I had a deep connection to my Oracle cards and would pull cards for friends and random travelers on my journeys. I would always pull the exact message they needed to hear, and again I would see it as coincidence rather than it being a gift of mine. As I began to shed more layers and my concern for what others thought of me, I began to embrace my intuitive gifts more and more. I began to receive messages and hits without having to use my cards. My cards became a tool to support my gifts.

It became time for me to take my gift off of the shelf and open it up to the world.

I began offering intuitive sessions earlier this year after the travel design aspect of the business came to a halt due to COVID-19. These sessions are super powerful. It’s an intimate time 1:1 to support others in receiving more clarity around a situation or area of life important to them. I receive so much joy in using my gifts to support others. And every time, I’m amazed and grateful that I can receive money for these gifts. It truly is a co-creation with Spirit to offer these gifts in service to a greater purpose and calling.

The more I lean into my gifts, the more expansion and opportunity is available.

A couple of months ago, I was having a virtual catch-up with my book club. Somehow we started talking about card readings. I mentioned that I offer oracle card readings, and said I’d be happy to do a group session sometime. Everyone agreed and said it sounded like a fun idea. A couple days later, I was on a group call with the Collective. During the call we were guided through a meditation that led us down a path to receiving clarity around our services. In the meditation, if you went through the right door, you’d be led to leading a group, and if you went through the left door you’d be led to doing 1-on-1 work. We weren’t privy to this during the meditation…we were guided to choose a door. I chose the right door. After going through the door, we were lead down a path to an area where a gift was waiting for us. I remember picking up the box and finding a wine cork inside. After the meditation. I put the pieces together—I was leading a group and there would be wine involved. And like that, my inspiration for hosting a card session via Zoom with my book club led to leading a Wine and Oracle Party. This inspiration birthed what I now call Girl’s Night Inward.

None of this would’ve happened if I had kept my gifts tucked away on a shelf waiting to be opened.

This 30-day blog challenge, Intuitive Sessions, Girl’s Night Inward, or future courses I’m working on (soon to be revealed) would never have seen the light of day if I had not accepted my gifts and used them in service to others.

It can be scary to share our gifts with the world. They feel very personal and hold a lot of meaning. We place so much emphasis on them, create added pressure, and attach a lot of meaning to them. We assign an identity to them and fear that others won’t see them as gifts, or will expect for them to be free or of low cost. We get lost in perfectionism and get attached to how we think they should go rather than trusting that it will all unfold as it’s meant to.

Our gifts are an offering from God/Spirit and unique to each individual.

When we approach them as a gift that is being entrusted to us, it releases a lot of the meaning and identity we so often add to them. It allows us to focus on our gifts being of service to others rather than “All about Me”. I’m still learning to release control around how my offerings will look or if/when I will share them with the world. I’m learning to remove my identity around my gifts and instead focus on the people these services and offerings are meant to serve for the highest good of all.

This is not to say that our gifts, offerings, and services are not personal to us. They absolutely are. It’s more so about learning to remove the pressure and limiting beliefs around our gifts not being good enough or worthy of receiving compensation.

Are you present to the gifts you have to offer? What are some skills that come naturally to you that you may be overlooking as a gift? I invite you to take some time to meditate, reflect, and journal about your gifts. Listen to the meditation mentioned at the beginning. Answer the question, “What are the gifts that have been given to me?” Allow yourself to be with them all. Read them back to yourself and be present to the gift that you are in this world.

To me, these photos represent BEAUTY.

When we think of beauty, we often think of nature, animals, people, and touching moments. But what about the beauty shown in the painful moments, lessons, heartbreak, and uncertainty of life?

I’ve been thinking about beauty lately and how it’s often represented in society. Beauty is often associated with things that spark a sense of awe and wonder and grace, or superficial glamour. It’s not typically what we think of when we’re experiencing painful moments or seasons. Yet, it’s through the pain that we can come to a place of beauty and appreciation.

When we are present to life and believe that each moment, each choice, and each answer is all beautifully orchestrated to create this thing called life, beauty is present in all of it.

This is not an easy concept to grasp. When we’re in the midst of pain or uncertainty, the last thing we think to do is look for the beauty in it. We focus on the pain and loss and the uncertainty and chaos. We focus on everything being wrong. We focus on how to fix it and make it better. We find ways to numb it or sidestep it so we can move on and not have to deal with the consequences, sadness, or pain, rather than leaning in and allowing ourselves to move through it.

In 2018, after I carried the final box out of my apartment, I stood in the empty space filled with emotion. It was a bittersweet ending and goodbye. I was sad for saying goodbye to my first solo apartment after 3.5 short months. The apartment represented freedom and independence for me, as well as a stepping stone into my next phase in life—becoming a nomad and leaving my life of security and comfort. Before leaving the apartment, I decided to take a photo to document my emotions and this milestone. It was one of the first times I was present to beauty in difficult and emotional situations. While the sadness was great, I was choosing to follow my heart and believed that in the long run it would be worth it.

I’ve continued to document my emotions and more difficult times throughout this journey. Whether it’s the joy of dancing in the rain, the excitement of meeting a new love, the thrill of taking a big leap, the heartbreak from not getting what I want, the pain from loss…all of it has beauty. Beauty may not be obvious at first, yet through deep healing and release, beauty can be found.

You can feel harmony outside of what is supposed to be harmonious! If you are brave and wild enough, you can even find beauty and harmony amongst the chaos of change. Sensing that change is just the creative process kicking into gear. Realizing there is nothing to fear brings even greater beauty, harmony, surrender and grace to the experience of life creating itself, in more stunning forms, through you. - Dream a Beautiful Dream, Sacred Rebels Oracle

When you’re in the midst of change—especially when change turns to chaos, it can be difficult to find beauty in what life is teaching you.

2020 has certainly had its hold on me…on us. It will be a year we’ll (hopefully) look back on one day and think, “Wow. I can’t believe that all happened. I can’t believe I made it through the chaos and uncertainty. I can’t believe I moved through the pain.”

In September 2019, I was traveling in Morocco on an epic soulo journey. I had just parted ways from my travel buddies in Marrakesh and was heading south for a 3-day vacation on the beach. I had spent the previous month in Spain being cracked open by the Universe processing, healing, and asking deep questions. The day before I left Dallas for this next chapter in my nomadic journey, I had written a very personal and vulnerable open letter about faith, religion, and freedom. While it was freeing to confront my fear of telling my truth, I was faced with the aftermath from the release and healing. I crawled into my Fox hole and took time off of social media and went inward. Spain was the catalyst for what was to come in Morocco.

I knew before going to Morocco that I wanted to do a photoshoot wearing traditional Moroccan attire. I had looked up a few places that seemed intriguing and landed on Chefchaouen, the Blue City. I had searched photographers on Airbnb Experience and was drawn in by this one listing. He organized a photoshoot with traditional attire—exactly what I wanted! The only catch is that he used the guest’s phone to take pictures rather than a professional camera. I messaged him and told him about my mission of modeling in photoshoots in countries all over the world. I asked if he had a professional camera. He didn’t but told me that he knew a great photographer and would arrange everything for me. I agreed and we set a date.

The photoshoot was a dream come true.

It was the first photoshoot wearing traditional clothing. I felt like a true princess in my own fairy tale. When I arrived to meet my guide, I felt an instant connection. His smile and energy immediately drew me in. To be clear, I was not looking to meet anyone. I’ve been single most of my life and have had many blocks around dating and relationships (I’ll save that for another blog). I was set on being on a solo journey, not finding love. Yet, it was clear I was meant to meet this man.

They say love finds you when you’re living life to its fullest and not looking.

We spent the whole morning together with the photoshoot, and after he offered to take me up to the Spanish Mosque to watch the sunset. I remember sitting next to him at the top of the mountain and feeling like an electric current was going through my body. I felt such an energetic connection to him. 2 days later we went on our first date and the rest is history. I extended my time in Chefchaouen so I could spend more time getting to know him. It all felt so surreal and not my life. It felt like my own fairy tale. We continued to be connected and date long distance. I went back to Africa for New Years Eve and welcomed in 2020 from Tunisia with my love.

The year started so hopeful and full of possibility.

I was so in the moment when I was there, and when I left, my blocks and fears around relationships, being trapped, and love began to surface. I saw my life flashing before me and was experiencing anxiety. Even though I was deeply connected to this man, and could see a future with him, I was scared. I didn’t believe it was real. I didn’t believe it would last. I had hit my Upper Limit Problem and sabotaged the relationship. I had asked for signs around whether the timing of being in a long distance relationship was right. I trusted that I was making the right choice. I decided that I needed to focus on my business. It didn’t make logical sense to be in a long distance relationship when I was traveling all over the world and didn’t know where I’d be from one week to the next (little did I know a pandemic would be coming). These were the reasons I justified. I ended the relationship in February.

The day I broke up with him, my world felt like it collapsed. I fell to the floor in great anguish and sobbed for hours, days, and weeks. The moment I made the call and ended the relationship, I regretted my decision. I thought that things would change and we’d be together again after a short break. Yet, it was too late. What was done was done. A week after, I lost contact with him for a couple of months. The thought of never speaking to him again felt life-shattering. Yet, I knew deep down that I was resilient and would eventually get through this. I held onto hope and trusted that if we were meant to find each other again, we would.

When we’re sitting in deep pain, the thought of seeing the silver lining or finding beauty in the situation seems unrealistic and hard to grasp.

A few weeks after the breakup, I contacted my talented photographer friend, Leslie Boren, and asked if she would be open to photographing me nude. I was still in pain, and I believed this was all happening for me rather than against me. I wanted to document the beauty in pain through a vulnerability photoshoot. Nude. No makeup. Just raw emotions and natural authentic beauty. I wanted to show other women that it’s okay to be vulnerable. It’s okay to be seen in the midst of pain and sadness. The photoshoot ended up being more healing than I imagined. I literally stripped down to my authentic self.

I’ve held onto these photos for 5 months. I’ve shared a few of them on my blog and Instagram, yet I’ve been protective of sharing them fully. The photos and the experience are very personal for me. It was for my own healing. And, I also believe that these photos have a deeper purpose than I’m aware of right now. I’ve held onto these photos and this story in part because I haven’t wanted to accept the reality of this situation. I haven’t wanted to accept the choice I made, or accept that this relationship and partnership is over and may not surface again. I’ve tried to control this situation and after many failed attempts, I finally chose to lean in. I chose to surrender and trust that God is working in this for the highest good of all. And to trust that the beauty of this situation, experience and healing will be revealed.

I believe that Spirit is using me and my pain to show myself and others that it’s okay to feel. It’s okay to be happy, joyful, and excited about new experiences and relationships. It’s okay to celebrate. It’s okay to be sad, angry, and hurt. It’s okay to hide away and retreat from the world. It’s okay to BE with all of it.

At the end of June I went on a personal retreat in Colorado to hide away and heal from the pain, hurt, regret, and rapid change 2020 has presented to me. It was a chance for me to fully lean in and allow my heart to crack open and feel everything. Hiding away and going inward was the best gift I could’ve given myself during this time. Healing takes time, and is something that can’t be rushed. Others may question your pain and ask, “You’re still not over him? It’s been 5 months.” It’s my pain and the healing will come when I am ready to receive it.

There is a situation in your life right now where you feel uncertain about your ability to ‘fix’ or heal. You lack the inspiration to be able to imagine it differently than how it currently seems to be. You may therefore feel inhibited in your ability to bring about constructive change. However, the perfect beauty of this situation is not revealed by what you attempt to do to it, or through trying to impose the right ‘dream’ upon it.

It is to be healed and perfected into all that it can be, through the revelation of the beauty that already lies within it. This happens when we accept the existence of inner harmony in all of creation, even if it cannot be consciously observed. By expecting there to be beauty within a situation, even if it is hidden, you will be more open to seeing the healing potential, even in your challenges. Don’t attempt to force the situation or issue to take the ‘right’ shape. Instead ask it to show its beauty to you.

From this place of inquiry you will begin to grasp the creative genius of what is, and unveil not only its potential beauty, but how perfect it is for you at this time, just as it is. In opening up to the beauty within yourself and your circumstances, you also open up to change. - Dream a Beautiful Dream, Sacred Rebels Oracle

While I am still healing, I am coming closer to a space of radical acceptance. I am able to view this situation with love and understand the beauty of it. There is beauty in writing this blog and sharing my story, and my photos. There is beauty in the moments of suffering; it is in those moments where I fully crack my heart open and expand my capacity to feel. There is beauty in this healing process—learning to release, surrender and trust. There is beauty in the uncertainty and not knowing what all of this is leading to. There is beauty in remembering the beautiful and happy moments I shared with a man I love. There is beauty in all of it.

Whenever you are out, notice the beauty around you. What inspires you? What invokes a sense of peace and appreciation? When you’re dealing with a difficult situation, ask to be shown its beauty. The more aware you are of beauty in all things, the more beauty will be presented to you. If you are having a hard time seeing the beauty in a specific situation or area of your life, schedule a Deep Clarity Session. Together we will look at the situation at hand and ask for guidance around the beauty to be seen.

This afternoon we were chatting and she asked me, “Would you rather spend a year living in Antarctica or spend a year living in the desert?” I thought about this for a moment. “The desert,” I replied. “Because I know that it will at least cool down at night and offer some relief.”

She moved on from that while I sat on the couch pondering the question some more. It was ironic. This morning I had woken up around 6 am with my mind racing. I found myself in one of my deep spirals with thoughts and questions swirling round and round. I took some time to meditate and journal. I wrote out one of my favorite verses from Proverbs, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding,” and then proceeded to journal about my journey and current phase of doubting, trusting, and finding strength. Trust is one of my Words for 2020, and I’m constantly being reminded to lean in. On the next page I wrote the words:

I AM RESILIENT.

I tuned in for some quiet meditation and guidance. I pulled a card about a specific area in my life that I’ve been spiraling over and over, and got the below message.

“Do you feel as if you’ve been wandering in the desert now for ages and ages and nothing is happening? When you conjure up the image of a desert, you picture parched lips, sunburned skin, and mirages—but there is more to it than that. Amid the hot sands are creatures with resilient spirits, tough skins, and the willingness to burrow deep underground for water so that they may thrive. This is a time of developing survival skills and resilience. You are learning how to conserve your strength, and in this temporary time of austerity, it’s wise to be selective about where you expend your energy. Listen to the call of your soul, because it will never lead you astray. This is an important time for letting go of what’s not important.” - Go the Distance, Wisdom of the Oracle

I’ve pulled this card several times over the past 2 years since leaving the corporate world and my conventional life behind. I’ve often felt like I’m wandering aimlessly in search of my calling, my purpose, the thing that’s going to be my big break. And while I have not been stagnant, I wonder sometimes if I’ll ever see through the mirages and be moved into a place of thriving instead of surviving.

Recently when I was climbing Mt. Garfield in Colorado, the conditions seemed much like the desert. It was hot and very dry. The conditions were more extreme than what I’m used to. I made sure to bring plenty of water and keep my wrap over my face to protect me from the hot dusty wind. As I was walking, I noticed lizards running and hiding among the rocks. Every time I’d pass a lizard, I’d greet it and say, “Hi, Lizzy.” There were a lot of Lizzy’s. It made me feel like I was connecting to the life there. I remember passing a sweet green plant growing out of a rock in the hot sun. I was amazed to see so much life. As I passed the plant I thanked it for its breath.

Seeing life in the midst of these harsh conditions caused me to connect with the land and remind myself that even in the toughest of environments, life is sustainable.

2020 feels like a desert in many ways and like we’re constantly wandering around as if nothing is getting better. We’ve been thrown obstacle after obstacle, and when it seems it can’t get any worse, another traumatic event happens. The world feels like it’s been turned upside down. We’re all wandering through a desert both individually and collectively. We experience good days and bad. It’s like a coin toss each day—we never really know how we’re going to feel when we wake up. We’re waiting for the day to come when this will all be a memory.

It’s important to protect your energy and take extra care of yourself—especially during a pandemic.

When you’re wandering in a desert, you must find ways to nourish yourself and replenish your resources. It’s vital to your livelihood and the livelihood of others. It’s important to find shade from the wind and limit what you consume (whether that be media, the news, relationships that are not supportive of your growth, etc), and find ways to sustain your strength. Remind yourself that while it may not always feel like it, you are resilient. Just as life in the desert finds ways to thrive among harsh conditions, we too, are learning ways to survive and thrive during this unprecedented time. Each of us is resilient in our own ways. We have bounced back before, and we will bounce back again.

You are not alone and neither am I.

While my journey and wandering in the desert is different than yours, it is comforting to know that I’m not alone. I often feel so isolated on my journey and as if no one understands me. I feel like I’m the only person who has ever wandered in a desert before. Yet, feeling and knowing are not the same. I know that I am not alone. I know that we all face our own periods of wandering and wondering when “it” is going to happen. I know to trust and not lean on my own understanding. And, I know that there is resilience even in the harshest of conditions.

On the page in my Super Attractor Journal where I wrote, “I AM RESILIENT”, there is an affirmation written:

I am patient knowing that whatever is of the highest good is coming to me.

Patience. Trust. Resilience. Guidance.

Even in the desert, there is water to be found. Even in the desert, new life is forming every day. Even in the desert, the sun will set and the coolness of the night sky will offer some relief.

How about you? Would you rather spend a year living in Antarctica or spend a year living in the desert?

Do you feel like you’ve been wandering alone in the desert and that nothing is happening? Do you find it difficult to keep going and believe that whatever is in your highest good is coming to you? If you answered Yes to either of these questions, you are not alone. Schedule a 1:1 Deep Clarity Session to go deeper into what your heart desires and receive clarity for where your desert is leading you.

How do you commemorate milestones or a profound transformation on your life journey? Do you write a letter to yourself reminding yourself of how far you’ve come? Do you buy a piece of jewelry or symbol to carry with you to remind you of someone you love who is no longer here?

I like to buy local jewelry or artwork when I’m traveling in places that leave an impression on me. It’s a small token I can carry with me to be reminded of the place and that time in my life. I use my photoshoots to document various seasons in life. Each photoshoot has its own vibe and essence that matches where I was at that point in my life.

Touchstones remind us of pivotal and meaningful times in life.

In 2016, after my Grandma died, I knew I wanted to have something with me that would remind me of her essence and allow me to carry her spirit with me wherever I went. I had thought about getting a tattoo in the past, and always knew it would have to be something meaningful for me to permanently wear it on my body. A year after she passed, I decided that a tattoo was the perfect way to symbolize my Grandma’s memory and carry her essence with me wherever I go. I found an amazing tattoo artist in North Dallas, Rodney Carrera. I chose to get an iris (her favorite flower) with the word ‘Wonder’ attached to it. My Grandma lived every day of her life with a childlike sense of wonder. And that’s exactly what I wanted to carry with me.

They say once you get your first tattoo it won’t be your last.

Six months after I got my first tattoo, I was ready to get my second one. It was at the end of 2017, and I had finally made the bold decision to quit my corporate job and follow my dream of traveling the world. This was a bold step for me, and one I was ready for. I had just completed my year of Action and was stepping into my year of Bold Freedom. I got a feather with birds flying off the tip of it tattooed on my rib cage to commemorate this new journey I was stepping into.

And as you can guess, six months after that I got my 3rd tattoo. I had recently started my nomadic journey with a oneway ticket to Australia followed by a oneway ticket to Thailand. I had heard of many people getting hand poke tattoos in Thailand so naturally had that on my radar. And no coincidence, the first person I met when I landed in Chiang Mai was a beautiful young woman named Eluaiyana, who happened to be a tattoo artist. Eluaiyana specializes in intricate hand poke tattoos. About a week after arriving in Thailand, I fell extremely ill. I had some sort of bacterial infection that kept me in bed for nearly 10 days. I had no choice but to surrender. It was the Universe’s way of telling me to heal from my past and trust what was to come. After I recovered, I contacted Eluaiyana to schedule my next tattoo appointment. I got a beautiful hand poke tattoo on my wrist that represents surrendering & being open to what comes into my life.

My symbols became a part of me and served as reminders for how far I had come.

At the end of 2018, I went on a challenging multi-day hike in Patagonia. This was the most challenging physically demanding journey I had ever been on. And even more than that it was mentally and spiritually trying. I learned to find courage in myself to take the hard steps forward and to trust that I was being led on the right path. I’ll never forget hiking in Patagonia and being awestruck by the most stunning view of a song boulder surrounded by bright, delicate flowers overlooking the most vibrant blue water I’d ever seen. I snapped the picture on my phone and imprinted it in my mind. I had no idea that boulder would hold such significance in my journey onward.

My trip in Patagonia reminded me that I am stronger and more capable than I give myself credit for.

When 2019 started, I was feeling extremely lost. I had returned from 8 months of soulo traveling all over the world. My savings was dwindling down, and I knew I’d be faced with either getting a job or starting something of my own. Starting a business is by far the most eye-opening, strip-me-down-to-the-core journey I’ve taken in my 35 years on this planet. It’s caused me to confront some of my greatest fears—being seen, asking, and trusting that the money will come. I’ve retreated into my cocoon more times than I can count and continued to put myself out there in belief that one day things will shift.

In May 2019, I took a big financial leap and made a commitment to be in a yearlong Retreat Leader Coaching Program with Darla LeDoux called the Beautifully Aligned Collective. I was not planning on signing up for this program. I certainly didn’t have the financial means to support an investment, and ever deeper than that—I didn’t believe that I was worth investing in myself. I was again was called to surrender my knowing and trust on a deeper level. I received a sign so clear that I could not ignore, and signed up for the program. This was a big deal for me, not only financially but also on a deeper soul level. I committed to a long-term time investment that I had always shied away from in the past. You’d think that someone who gets tattooed wouldn’t be afraid of commitment, but I was. I was afraid of being stuck or trapped. I surrendered to the Universe and trusted that God knows more than I do.

This past year has knocked me down and picked me up, caused me to rise up, open my heart to love, surrender, trust, take courage, and have faith that it is all working for my highest good.

When my coaching program was coming to an end, we were invited to choose a symbol to honor all of the expansion and growth that took place over the year. Some people chose crystals, pieces of art, and jewelry to commemorate this time. I immediately knew it was time for my next tattoo. Since shelter in place was still in order, I had to wait to get my symbol. In the interim, I went on a personal retreat in Colorado. While on that journey, I was greeted with the labyrinth I had laid rocks in the summer before. It was in that labyrinth in 2019 that I became present to signs from the Universe. I was going through a rather difficult time and knew I needed a challenge. From that a great mountain climb came to fruition and birthed my 30-day blog challenge.

So today, I captured my symbol on my inner right bicep. A symbol of mountains that reminds me of all the physical and spiritual mountains I’ve climbed, a boulder from my hike in Patagonia that reminds me there is beauty to be found no matter what the situation, an arrow from my Wandering Aunt logo that reminds me to keep aiming towards my goals, and a sunflower to remind me that I am a bright light in this world and to always keep shining.

I find myself a bit emotional each time I get a new tattoo. While they all mark memories and milestones in my life, they are packed with so much meaning and symbolism. To you, it may just be a cool looking tattoo. To me, it represents my life—every bruise, obstacle, curiosity, joy, courageous act, surrender, and trust I’ve experienced. It is forever a part of me etched deep withing my being reminding me of all that I am.

Thank you Rodney, for once again beautifully bringing my vision to life. If you find yourself in Dallas, and looking for an incredible tattoo artist, check out Anomaly Lifestyle Art.

“My what?” I asked as I stared at her blankly.

“Your ‘One Day’ story. You know the ‘One day I’m going to paint my room this color.’ ‘One day I’m going to save money to follow my dreams.’ ‘One day I’m going to open my heart and let someone in.’ It’s the story you keep telling yourself that one day you’re going to do. Yet, you keep telling the story rather than actually doing anything to make it come true.”

One Day.

Tears filled my eyes as the words she said began to sink in. It was the beginning of 2015. I had spent months dealing with depression and finally took the step towards receiving help. I found a therapist recommended by my church. She was warm, caring, and direct. It was the first time I had ever been to a therapist.

After a couple of ‘getting to know you’ sessions, conversations began to shift on a deeper level. I was opening up to her slightly more each week. On this particular visit I had just finished sharing about my life as a dreamer.

When I was 7 years old, my parents decided it was time to remodel our house. We were living in an old house that belonged to my great grandparents. My 3 siblings and I shared a loft upstairs above the kitchen. We each had our own twin beds that my dad had crafted for us. He’s always been a craftsman and super creative with his skills. I loved our space. I loved being near my siblings and having a window that overlooked our open yard. Yet, the reality was my oldest sister and brother were getting older, and it was time for us to shift to having our own spaces. It was an exciting process to move the house and expand it. We jacked the house up, moved it over, dug a basement, moved the house back, and added on a second story. We went from a quaint house to what felt like a mansion to a young child. Some of my favorite memories playing are when we were in this transition. We had large dirt piles in our yard from digging the basement that became our playground. We’d make tunnels, play capture the flag, sled down the dirt…it truly was a kid’s dream.

Progress on the house halted not long after the house had been moved. Cement floors had just been poured in the basement. My dad had been working at the top and slipped and fell 10-12 feet onto the concrete slab. He shattered both of his feet, had to have surgeries to repair the damage, and was confined to a wheelchair for the several months after. Contractors continued to work on various parts of the house. When the house was moved back and the top story was added, not much work happened after that. We moved into the basement and this would become our home for the rest of my childhood and teenage years.

My sisters and I were to have our rooms on the top story or “way way upstairs” as we called it. Way way upstairs became my dreamland. I would spend time in my wall-less room and dream. I had two windows—one with a dorm and one on the side of the room. I would sit up in my space and dream of how I was going to decorate my room. I was going to paint the walls a pretty lilac, paint my bed white with floral bedding, and have a white desk built into the dorm for writing. Even from a young age, I knew I wanted to be a writer. As the years passed by, I still dreamed of what my room would look like one day, and held onto the hope that it would one day happen.

One Day it would happen…

That reality never came true. Death of close family members, alcoholism, and financial strains turned the finishing of our house into a “one day” story. I learned to be content sleeping in various corner rooms of the basement and eventually on a couch in the living room area. Even without having walls, I still made my space my own. I made sure to make up my space every day and keep it tidy.

I learned to create order in the midst of chaos. I learned to make whatever space I had available to me as my own. I learned to not get attached to having a room. I learned how to be a nomad. I learned to be a dreamer.

I spent a couple of months working through my ‘One Day’ dreams with my therapist. At the time, my ‘One Day’ dream was to find a different job and travel more. Deep down I wanted to find a partner, yet I didn’t believe at my core that I was meant to be in a relationship, so I kept that ‘One Day’ dream tucked deep within my heart. Eventually I worked through some of these areas and have been surprised and amazed to see them actually come to life. Within 3 years of sitting on the couch in my therapist’s office, I got my own apartment for the first time in my life (even though it was short-lived), quit my corporate job, and become a nomad traveling and modeling in photoshoots all over the world. I even went on to find love—which I never thought would be possible.

One day stories start from having a dream. One day stories create hope that ‘one day’ it could happen. One day stories continue to be some dream in the future until action is taken.

While I have had much healing since that day on my therapist’s couch, I still live inside of my ‘One Day’ story. I still live inside of “One day I’ll write my book. One day I’ll fully accept love into my life. One day I’ll have a thriving business and be free from financial strain.” Ironically, I’m back to living in a room of a house that’s not my own and dream of what it will be like to ‘one day’ have my own place again. I’m still content being a nomad, and forever grateful to my sister and her family for giving me a space to make my own. And they even allowed me to live out my childhood dream and paint the room. Although it’s not lilac, it is a beautiful aqua blue that helped me to fulfill my childhood dream. I have a bed with floral bedding, a window with natural lighting from the sun, and a desk to write.

Sometimes our ‘One Day’ stories look different than how we imagined them. Sometimes they’re far from what we dreamed, and sometimes they’re more wonderful than we ever could have imagined.

I’m still a dreamer to this day. I’m a visionary and see big things continuing to happen in my life. I also find myself in a space much like I experienced in 2014/2015. This year I’ve gone through waves of depression. Some days I’m feeling on top of the world while other days I feel like shutting the world out. Today was one of those days. I woke up with a bad headache and gave myself permission to binge-watch Netflix and stay in bed. I finally pulled myself out of bed around 4:00. I had a good cry, turned on Lauren Daigle, made a cup of tea and took a hot bath. The difference with where I am now vs. where I was 5.5 years ago is my ability to own and shift where I am. I’ve learned to embrace the dark spaces because I know the light will come again. I can accept my ‘One Day’ stories when I’m in dream mode and sit with my ‘Everything is Wrong’ filter when I’m feeling in the depths of my own despair.

I also spent an hour in meditation today and time journaling. The card I pulled fits perfectly with where I am and serves as a reminder that “This Too Shall Pass”.

If you have been wondering about your life path or whether you should take action on a project or you need inspiration to really move you out of a slump you have fallen into, then this oracle brings you a message of hope. You will receive your vision. You will be graced with a way out of stagnancy. You will be able to see things differently and more accurately. Any confusion or uncertainty you have felt is going to pass and you will be left with clear insight. The stories you have been feeling, feeding yourself or telling yourself may end up looking different to how they appear now. This may surprise you, but the vision that is coming to you will be more truthful and therefore freeing. It will be worth the shock, surprise or the moment of embarrassment when you realize you have been operating under a false assurance or deluding yourself about the truth of a situation. Those moments will pass and they are not something to feel bad about. They signify that you are leaving behind a smaller view for a more expansive one. They are a sign that you have outgrown your old vision in order to live in a bigger one. This is good! There might be a moment when your ego feels a bit dented, but sure enough that too will pass. - Visions of Life Beyond Death, Sacred Rebels Oracle

If you find yourself in a similar space or notice that you keep having ‘One Day’ dreams, take heart. Allow yourself to dig deeper and ask yourself, “What is really at the core of my ‘One Day’ story? What is it that my heart really wants? Why do I believe that it’s never going to happen?” Give yourself the time and space to search your heart for answers, and ask for guidance.

And if you find that you don’t know where to start or would like additional support, reach out to me. Together we can ask the questions that your heart wants to know and receive the answers that are hiding within. Schedule a Deep Clarity Session today.

I went for a hike at my favorite nature preserve in Dallas this afternoon. It was slightly overcast with a light breeze which is rare this time of year. As I was walking, I passed a mother and her daughter whom I’ve seen here before. I smiled and waved as I saw them coming. The mom quickly told me, “Be careful. We just saw a bobcat in the woods.” I told her that I was glad they were okay and asked exactly where they saw it. I wanted to get a sense of how close this bobcat was.

In this moment, I had a choice to make. I could take the “better safe than sorry” route or continue on my way.

I took a moment to check in with my body. My body was relaxed and no fear was present so I kept going.

If someone told you they saw a bobcat, would you turn around or keep going the direction you were going?

As I continued on my hike, my mind began to wonder. “Why is it that I was warned about something that someone else saw, and I felt okay to keep going?” Logically it didn’t make sense to keep going. The woman seemed trustworthy, and I believed that her experience was real. She said she saw a bobcat, so logically it would make sense to take caution and change course.

Yet, it was her experience. It was possible that I could see a bobcat, and it was possible that I could find myself in danger and regretting that I didn’t listen to the woman’s warning.

Could doesn’t mean it would happen.

I chose to keep going because my body was relaxed. I felt no anxiety, tension, or unease. My intuition told me it was okay to keep going on my path. And logically, bobcats are pretty elusive so the likelihood of getting attacked by one was pretty slim.

Intuition

I believe that I hold the power within to access inner guidance to make clear decisions and unveil a deep knowing. I understand that intuition sees what the logical mind cannot. I listen to and trust the answers revealed through my intuition and take aligned actions inside of that deep knowing.

A couple of months ago, my sister, her littles, and I went for a an evening walk in the neighborhood. We crossed the street and headed into the open field near their house. A young man called out to us from behind, “Hey, are y’all on the neighborhood app?” “No, I don’t think so,” I said. “Okay, I’m not sure the details but my dad told me that he saw someone post that there’s an active shooter at the intersection by Walmart. Anyway, just thought I’d let you know.”

Again, I was faced with a choice because of information shared by another person—do we continue on our walk or go home? Obviously, since we had the kids with us, we headed home. We told the kids that something came up that we needed to take care of. In this instance, I did feel a sense of panic, but not panic of my own. It was because I was not alone. I now had the kids to consider. We went back home and began searching the neighborhood app and local news sites. There was nothing on there about an active shooter, or anything threatening for that matter. I was pretty set on getting some fresh air. So as my family was preparing for bedtime, I told my sister than I didn’t sense there was anything to be alarmed by and was going out for a walk.

I trusted my internal guidance system (intuition) to guide me.

Sometimes there are real concerns and threats that are within our humanity to share—Yes, if I saw a bobcat or another predator, I would likely share it with the people I cross paths with. It’s up to the receiver to decide what to do with the information—Do I listen to the warning, or do I check-in with myself and see if it feels like a threat for me? Other times, a person is freely sharing their opinions, should’s, or advice. They are warning you based on their own experiences or fears.

How do you know whether to accept warnings and advice and turn away, or acknowledge them and move forward?

There is not an easy answer to this, it depends on the individual. I can only share from my own experience. I’ve learned over the years to tune into my body and listen to what it is telling me. I’ve learned to trust my intuition to guide me. I know if something feels threatening or unsafe, my body will tell me and redirect me. When I perceive something as a threat, my shoulders will become extremely tense. Other times, I will have a clear knowing or instinct that I’m not meant to do something or go somewhere. It’s then up to me to decide whether or not to listen to my intuition and instincts.

When I was traveling throughout Chile, I thought it would be fun to check out this beach town with lots of cool graffiti art. Many people had warned me to take caution and not be out at night by myself. “It’s a fun town, but can be rough at night.” I stayed in a local bed and breakfast near the center of town. I found a restaurant for dinner that was about a 30 minute walk. I felt okay walking there to dinner in the daylight. When I left the restaurant, the air felt a bit uneasy, yet I continued to walk rather than getting a cab. I’m a bit directionally challenged and often struggle with following a map. I got a little turned around on my walk back and ended up walking down the wrong street. Immediately my body started to tense up. It was a street full of clubs, loud music, and people doing drugs. It was not my kind of vibe. I listened to my body in that moment, trusted my instincts, and turned around.

If you asked me about going to this town, I wouldn’t tell you not to go. I would share my experience and allow you the space to make your own choice. And I would do the same if I saw a bobcat.

It’s great to share our experiences, warn people when there appears to be an actual threat, and share our advice when asked. It’s then up to each of us to decide whether to listen to the person, or tune in and listen to what our intuition is telling us.

Tune in to your body. Notice what it feels like when something feels threatening. Memorize that feeling and trust yourself to follow the path or turn around and find help or find another way.

Do you listen to your body when it’s signaling you to change course? Do you know what threat feels like in your body? If you’re not certain what your body experiences when you’re faced with a threat, schedule a Deep Clarity Session. Together we can tune in and ask your body to reveal your own internal guidance system to you.