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    <title>Blog from the Future Past</title>
    <link>http://blamby.org/serendipity/</link>
    <description>Life through the eyes of a Militant Agnostic, by Bill Lambert, a living writer in Carlisle, Massachusetts.</description>
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    <title>Guaranteed Money Maker</title>
    <link>http://blamby.org/serendipity/archives/206-Guaranteed-Money-Maker.html</link>
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    <author>bill@blamby.org (Bill Lambert)</author>
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					<td align="center" valign="middle"><img src="http://blamby.org/images/todaysFortune.png" alt="" width="188" height="25" border="0"  /><br /><font face="Arial" color="black" size="2">Invest everything you own<br />in medical marihuana futures</font><p><font face="Times" color="red" size="1">ENTER THE DRAGON LADY:<br />(617) 522-2043, ask Mai Ling</font></font></td>
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    <pubDate>Sun, 08 Nov 2009 17:41:28 -0700</pubDate>
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    <title>The New Reality</title>
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<category>Guest Columnists</category><category>Gabby Stompanazzi</category>    <comments>http://blamby.org/serendipity/archives/205-The-New-Reality.html#comments</comments>
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					<tr><td align="left" valign="top"><br /><font size="4">A</font><font size="2">s soon as the programming geniuses over at TnA heard Octomom Nadya Suleman openly assert an attraction for John Gosselin, they began burning the midnight oil on a new reality-based show they expect to be next year's blockbuster. 
<p>TnA VP for New Concept Development, Hans Beerman, could hardly hold back his excitement as he explained his new concept, over lunch at the Four Seasons. 
<p>"We're calling it <i>Octo-Mom, Sexto-Kate and Balloon Boy</i>," he told me, "And get this... as we speak, we're negotiating a deal with the Michael Jackson estate to film the entire series at Neverland and even get the Jackson kids to stop by and have breakfast with all twenty Suleman, Gosselin and Heene kids twice a week."
<p>"It's can't miss," he continued, "Because of the incentives."
<p>There's been a lot of talk around town about 'incentivizing' reality TV personalities much like professional athletes. A pitcher in baseball gets a little extra if he gets the Cy Young Award, for instance; or Michael Strahan got a hefty bonus for every leg he broke during the last half of his NFL career.

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<blockquote><i><font size="1" color="teal" face="Times New Roman, Georgia, Times, serif">In case <b>"Octo-Mom, Sexto-Kate and Balloon Boy" </b>never comes to fruition, Richard Heene is working on a new concept show with the FEED NETWORK, introducing America to the culinary delights he loved as a child on the planet Blaxxon. In the series pilot yet to air, Richard and his Blaxxonian Mom Thxdra demonstrate techniques used to make Blaxxonian Hydrocloric Tungsten Curry, served on a crouton of white-hot steel plate and garnished with a chiffonade of cast-iron shavings and a spicy ground glass chutney.</font></i></blockquote>
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<p>This was the first time I heard a top network executive push incentivization openly as a way to improve program quality and viewer excitement. When I asked Beerman about details, he was happy to fill me in and proud of it.
<p>"Every adult in the program will get a $50,000 bonus for participating in an affair that lasts at least three episodes, a $250,000 bonus for every pregnancy and an additional $250,000 for every live birth, provided we're allowed to broadcast the blessed event as it happens," he said.
<p>Stunned, I asked what was behind these particular incentives. "Let's face it," Hans told me, "Viewers want sex, and lots of it. We have five adults: Nadya, Kate and John Gosselin and Richard and Mayumi Heene--at least until Falcon Heene and the Jackson kids reach the age of consent. We're hoping the cast will establish a series of rotating polyamorous relationships that will draw in the public. Did I mention that there's extra money for same sex relationships?"
<p>No, you didn't," I said.
<p>"Gays and bisexual relationships in a reality show pull in an enormous hate crowd in the red states," Hans explained.
<P>When I asked directly, Beerman said there no current plans to incentivize episodes of beastiality, but the system could always be revisited and adjusted at a later date. 
<p>OMSKABB is slated to premiere in early January, right after the holiday season.
<p><img src="http://blamby.org/images/loveGabby.png" alt="" width="*" height="*" align="absmiddle" border="0"  /> 
<p align="center"><font size="3" color="red" face="times">TIMER </font><font size="1" color="black" face="times"> MAGAZINE</font>
<br /><font size="3" color="#330033" face="times"><i>"Gabriella Stompanazzi is Tinsel Town's primary source for <br />who is doing who, and which end they're doing it with..."</i></font>
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    <pubDate>Wed, 04 Nov 2009 12:50:00 -0700</pubDate>
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    <title>Zombieland</title>
    <link>http://blamby.org/serendipity/archives/204-Zombieland.html</link>
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					<tr><td align="left" valign="top"><font size="4">A</font><font size="2"> virus born of bad hamburger infects the vast majority of mankind, turning them into crazed killers with a rabid craving for human flesh. There are only two kinds of people left in the world: roaming gangs of zombies with the super-munchies, and those who kill them--the remaining few who by dumb luck or well-honed combat skills have avoided the disease. 
<p>If your taste in film includes the living dead slurping down sinewy human sashimi, then Zombieland might be just your kind of sick diversion. After a while, killing zombies gets to be wicked fun--their heads get crushed by SUV's and pianos, their limbs torn off and skulls splattered by high-power weapons fire. 
<p>There's nothing to like about them... friggin' zombies. We enjoy watching zombies meet their ex-maker with a total lack of empathy, pity or remorse. As more blood flows and more gore globs, the laughter rises. You know what's going to happen, but that won't stop you from getting into this fast-paced chronicle of the great zombie genocide.</font>
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<blockquote><i><font size="1" color="teal" face="Times New Roman, Georgia, Times, serif">If it weren't for Harrelson's and Murray's big tickets, <i>Zombieland</I> would have cost about $19.99 plus a case of red food dye to produce.</blockquote></font></i>
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<p>Nerdy OCD college student 'Columbus', portrayed by <i>Adventureland's</i> Jesse Eisenberg, religiously observes a self-made set of rules that keep him alive: No. 6, for instance; Always check the back of the car; No.14 - Avoid public restrooms, etc. Making his way from college in Austin back east to his namesake hometown in Ohio, he hooks up with Tallahassee, cowboy zombie executioner par-excellance, who reluctantly allows the kid tag along.
<p>As Tallahassee, Woody Harrelson resurrects his murderous character from <i>Natural Born Killers</i>, dealing out a double-deck of zombie death wearing his trademark pasted-on impish smirk. This role seemed remade for him.
<blockquote><blockquote><center><i><font size="2" color="teal" face="Times New Roman, Georgia, Times, serif">"Mama always said someday I would be good at something.<br />Who would have thought it would be killing zombies?"</font></i></center></blockquote></blockquote>
<p>Now, even the best Zombie-killing buddy flick can be a drag without enough cool chicks to go around and a healthy dose of tight-jeans T &amp; A. While Tallahassee obsessively rummages through what little remains of America in search of Hostess Twinkies, the boys meet up with the grifting sisters Wichita and Little Rock, who promptly relieve them of their hopped-up Escalade, their pride and their weapons. Of course Tallahassee and Columbus eventually down chase the girls. After mutual mistrust melts away and romance begins to blossom between Columbus and Wichita, they all head off for the left coast to take young teener Little Rock to the California theme park she loves so much.
<p>There's nothing more to be said about the story, which got started late and never really ended before the credits rolled. I smell a rotting-gut sequel.
<p>I downgraded my rating half a Buddha because, after the four arrive in Lalaland, they kill Bill Murray. You just can't kill Bill Murray and expect to get away with it.
<p align="center"><i><font size="3" face="Times New Roman, Georgia, Times, serif">Rating: 2.5 out of 5.0 exceedingly grossed-out<br />Fat Laughing Golden Buddhas<br />
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    <pubDate>Tue, 20 Oct 2009 11:19:36 -0700</pubDate>
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    <title>Oh! Canada...</title>
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<p><font size="4">T</font><font size="2">he last time I made the trek up to Halifax, Nova Scotia, was more than half a long lifetime ago. Don't remember much, except for endless stretches of gorgeous desolation throughout most of New Brunswick into the western part of Nova Scotia, plus way friendly folks the few times I accidentally happened to bump into one. 
<p>This time around we managed to hit leaf-peeping prime-time all the way up through Maine and the Maritimes. A new postcard vista greeted us over the crest of every hill, while countless rivers and streams crisscrossed the highway, running fast, deep and beautiful, filled with the autumn rain. 
<p>Nature freakin' rules.
<p>So, Eastern Canada turned out to be much the same as I recall through the fog of 36 years, at least outside the few and far between smallish cities. Urban and suburban areas have grown considerably, unfortunately, taking on that hideous American fright mask of chained food and shackled marketing: Walmart, Staples, Home Depot, Target, and all that crap, generously peppered with a shaker full of cheap-ass chain hotels, mega-markets and video stores. 
<p>Inevitable, I suppose... though disconcerting. The main detail of difference between Fredericton, NB, and Nashua, NH is the license plates... just replace all the Dunkin Donut shops with Tim Horton's, the Canadian equivalent.  
<p>The same US-made commercial ugly stick will beat a garish neon bruise on places like Mogadishu, Papua, New Guinea, and Chad someday, the way things are going.
<p>Too bad for Chad, but The Way of the World.
<p>Our main purpose was a scouting trip; the resident high school senior has more than a little interest in continuing her education in Halifax, at either St. Mary's or Dalhousie University. It was worth a trip to see if this was place she could survive... to get a feel for of the schools and the students, the neighborhoods and the city. 
<p>Turns out Halifax is way neat--unique in many ways, still quaint and quirky. Except for scale, the city is much like Boston/Cambridge, with the seaport, the many universities and hospitals and the tourism trade dominating. It's a nice blend of the old and modern, well-cleaned and well-kept. (Even the homeless panhandlers were clean, much better dressed than half the customers at Market Basket in Nashua.)
<p>My former little girl said she had set no particular expectations on Halifax or either college before we headed up there. She ended up impressed, as were we, with both the St. Mary's and Dalhousie campus facilities and the general city scene.
<p>I wouldn't mind going to school up there myself.
<p>Women--even young ones--often change their mind, I'm told (ahem). The kid may not end up in Halifax, but I liked her approach at evaluating things and discovered she did a lot more pre-trip research than I believed going in. 
<p>Good job on the kid.
<p>All in all, an excellent trip. We all enjoyed the long weekend, including the resident terrier/baby surrogate Lylaboo, good as gold and no trouble at all during the entire trip. We might have done without the two nights we had to stop over in Fredericton, one on the way up and one on the way back, but Jesus, you have to sleep somewhere. 
<p>Total drive time from Saturday noon to Tuesday evening, including side trips, about 26 - 27 hrs. Gas: around $200 for my fuel-hungry VW Touareg. 
<p>Make sure to top up before you hit the Canadian border.
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    <pubDate>Wed, 14 Oct 2009 10:43:28 -0700</pubDate>
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    <title>Signs of the Season</title>
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<category>Beantown Fan Attic</category><category>Red Sox</category>    <comments>http://blamby.org/serendipity/archives/202-Signs-of-the-Season.html#comments</comments>
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						<td align="left" valign="top"><font size="4">A</font><font size="2">utumn has arrived with two sure signs. 
<p>First, the ivy climbing toward the peaks of many of the tall, spindly ash trees that ring our yard has gone scarlet, one of the better years for color.
<p>Secondly, the Boston Red Sox make their way into the American League playoffs once again, making 2009 the sixth out of the last seven years; their two Wold Series wins achieved when they enter the end-of-the-year sweepstakes as the wild card entry, as this year.
<p>Before you know it, people will be putting out pumpkins, dressing like denizens of Zombieland and riding Duck Boats around the common.
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							<center><br /><img src="http://blamby.org/images/theo.jpg" alt="" width="230" height="*" align="absmiddle" border="0"  /> 
<blockquote><i><font size="1" color="teal" face="Times New Roman, Georgia, Times, serif">"In Theo We Trust..."</font></i></blockquote>
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    <pubDate>Mon, 05 Oct 2009 19:52:49 -0700</pubDate>
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    <title>More On Healthcare</title>
    <link>http://blamby.org/serendipity/archives/201-More-On-Healthcare.html</link>
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<p><font size="4">I</font><font size="2">n my most recent blog entry, I tried to emphasize the inequities inherent in our current healthcare system. At the time I wrote that, I knew I lacked hard research data, no doubt weakening my case.
<p>An article in the Boston Globe this past week cited a Cambridge Health Alliance report that appeared in the American Journal of Public Health: a study that followed 9,005 adults under 65 years old who took part in a national survey conducted from 1986 through 1994 by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. After 12 years, 351 people had died. Sixty of them were uninsured and 291 were insured.
<p>I'll quote from the article...
<blockquote><font face="Times"><i>After accounting for age, education, income, and other factors, the researchers found that people without private insurance had a 40 percent higher risk of dying than people with private insurance. An earlier study by the Institute of Medicine based on 16 years of data through 1993 found that uninsured people had a 25 percent higher risk of dying than insured people, which translated into 18,000 additional deaths.</font></i>
</blockquote>
<p>Co-author of the CHA paper, Dr. Steffie Woolhandler, noted in an interview that being uninsured is more lethal relative to being insured than it was 20 years ago, due to advances in treatment and prevention.
<p>Even I didn't think the difference in mortality rate would be that startling... shocking, really. That means that lives lost due to lack of quality healthcare will exceed lives lost by american forces in the Vietnam War in about 15 months, and the Iraq war in about three and a half weeks.
<p>Another Globe article Thursday reported on their recent survey of the commonwealth's major health insurance providers and the prospects of upcoming rate increases. Anticipated increases ranged from 7 to 12 percent, capping a decade of consecutive double-digit premium increases. Rates for 2010 will depend on the size of the employer and the type of coverage, but small businesses and individuals are expected to be hit the hardest. 
<p>The Globe claimed that, overall, premiums are more than twice as high as they were 10 years ago, but if the writer were familiar with the back-of-the-envelop "rule of 72", 10 years of at least ten percent increases gets you closer to a mind-numbing 150% boost. Massachusetts insurance costs are higher than most states, but the average cost of a family plan will be around $14,000 next year, with those insured through their employer footing around two-thirds of the bill.
<p>An annual tariff of $14,000 is roughly double what an employee making $50K and her company will shell out for the twin payroll taxes, SS and Medicare.
<p>These two trends are what the real healthcare crisis is all about. Private healthcare insurance is rapidly becoming beyond the means of the majority, and people will die because of it. 

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    <pubDate>Mon, 21 Sep 2009 07:46:37 -0700</pubDate>
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    <title>A Question of Equality</title>
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    <author>bill@blamby.org (Bill Lambert)</author>
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<p><font size="4">F</font><font size="2">or all but the last few ticks on the human time clock, the quality of healthcare or medical care mattered little. If someone developed  a serious affliction or became critically injured, in all likelihood they were headed toward their rapid end.  Indian  or chief,  royal or rube, you were lucky if your medical practitioner knew enough not to clean open wounds with river water, didnt administer killing amounts of mercury or arsenic or blood-let you to death, not to mention passing  on to you some nasty, lethal infection.
<p>The threat of serious illness or death has always been the great equalizer. The high-born and the rich never fared much better than anyone else, and no amount of wordly goods could save you. 
<p>The modernization of medical care accelerated rapidly only during the mid 19th-Century. In one of  the cornerstone achievements of mankind--along with  the widespread use of fire, writing and the exodus of out Africa--we began to observe, discover and understand the things smaller than we could observe with the naked eye: our building blocks, our essence.  Discovery of this micro-world drove development in the three basic sciences of modern medicine: biology, chemistry, and physics, and fueled the modern medical revolution. 
<p>Barely a-hundred-and-fifty years removed from the childhood of modern medicine, the average life expectancy has roughly doubled in areas with access to modern healthcare. The availability of quality prenatal care is the single largest factor in raising the live birth rate and reducing infant and early childhood mortality.
<p>What could be more basic to, Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness..., than our health and longevity? Denial of healthcare or pricing it beyond the means of many essentially shortens the lives of those left out. 
<p>This is a statistical no brainer, really. If you have health care, on average you live longer than those who dont.
A new kind of inequality suddenly appears, a direct result of our misplaced, market-based system: some of us will have a right to expect a longer, better quality life; many of us will not.
<p>Only the federal government can remedy this inequality by assuring health care access for every citizen, every indian and every chief.
<p>I look on those who would deny universal healthcare access with pity. What kind of folks would deny their fellow citizens an equal chance at life as a political statement or to maintain their profits.
<p>We should take the model of our one true socialized governmental function: defense and security. We arent left to hiring our own police or private armies to keep us safe. Since national defense and local laws apply to everyone, it is much more effective and better managed through the public sector, supported by our taxes. 
<p>Healthcare, so basic to our freedom and a core issue for every citizen, from every walk of life, demands the same level of national effort and attention.


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    <pubDate>Wed, 09 Sep 2009 11:37:59 -0700</pubDate>
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    <title>Tom Terrific Returns</title>
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    <author>bill@blamby.org (Bill Lambert)</author>
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						<td align="left" valign="top"><br /><font size="4">M</font><font size="2">y son Mark and his wife Catherine are home from Virginia for ten days or so. Since they're both big sports fans, on Monday I'd thought we could take a ride down to Foxboro and see one of the open practice sessions at Patriots training camp. 
<p>Turns out Mark hadn't been to the new stadium yet. I haven't been there since they started surrounding the place with enormous shopping malls. It's impressively, massively tacky around there now... too little green and way too much asphalt.
<p>The practice session, was way cool. Though the afternoon was hot and humid, there was a nice breeze to tone it down and the clouds gathering by the time we arrived eventually gave way to blue sky. I'd guess there were somewhere around 1,000 to 1,500 fans and media watching from the small stadium set-up and grassy knoll surrounding the twin practice fields behind Gillette Stadium.
<p>The big question this year, of course, is the health and recovery prognosis of Tom Brady after last season's knee surgery. Tom, the best quarterback on the planet, sure seemed like his bad ol' se'f during the passing drills. 
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<blockquote><i><font size="1" color="teal" face="Times New Roman, Georgia, Times, serif">To help Tom get through a very difficult off-season rehabilitation regimen, every morning Gisele took a break from writing her thesis on alternative fuel sources for inter-stellar travel to make breakfast: a pair of soft-boiled eggs which she would then secrete somewhere on her person and force Tom to hunt them down and consume them while hand-cuffed and blindfolded.</font></i></blockquote>
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<p>Number 12 was one of the last players on the field; easy to spot in his red practice jersey as every eye went to him. The Pats have four QB's on the roster at this stage: Brady, Mike O'Connell, Andrew Walter, a free-agent cut by Oakland, and rookie Brent Hoyer. To begin practice, the four alternated throwing sideline passes to the running backs. Though Walter can really wing the ball, it was easy to see why Brady is Brady. Hard throws with perfect timing and on the money, time after time.
<p>Effortless... Tom somehow makes it all look easy. Attitude has a lot to do with it, and if Tom has lost even an ounce of confidence with that season-ending injury, you'd never know it. His teammates love him, gravitate to him. At the end of the 90-minute practice, Tom was standing in the middle of a group huddle, screaming at the top of his lungs and pumping his fists. I think Tom will be back, and so will Mr. Lombardi.
<p>I was disappointed Randy Moss and Wes Welker were held out from the afternoon practice. I really wanted to see Randy doing his thing close up.  I was also impressed by young Brandon Merriweather, who came to the sidelines after practice to sign autographs. The way he spoke with the fans, he just seemed like a great kid... a great kid who happens to hit like a ton of bricks, mind you.
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    <pubDate>Tue, 11 Aug 2009 16:54:56 -0700</pubDate>
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    <title>The French Chef</title>
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    <author>bill@blamby.org (Bill Lambert)</author>
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					<td align="center" valign="middle"><img src="http://blamby.org/images/todaysFortune.png" alt="" width="188" height="25" border="0"  /><br /><font face="arial" size="2">ANCIENT FRENCH WISDOM:<br />When in doubt, add more butter</font><p><font face="Times" color="red" size="1">LUCKY APPETIZER: Bird Drop Soup - $6.95</font></font></td>
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    <pubDate>Sun, 09 Aug 2009 10:06:00 -0700</pubDate>
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    <pubDate>Sat, 08 Aug 2009 11:08:00 -0700</pubDate>
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    <title>Burger Paradise Lost</title>
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<p><font size="4">T</font><font size="2">he resident teenager returned home Friday after a month in Japan. For her first home cooked meal, Saturday's supper, she asked for a hamburger. Now, Mom's not crazy about hamburgers, so I offered to make chicken parm, her favorite, and told her I'd come up with another plan for burgers. 
<p>As it happens, I recently heard folks on a radio talk show rave about the burgers at Fuddruckers in North Andover, off Rt. 495, not far from the Lawrence town line and less than 30 minutes from Carlisle. On Sunday, I suggested we go out for a burger and talked the girls into trying it. 
<p>Fuddruckers is a chain restaurant, so, like almost every other every chain, it's a game of hit or miss. When we walked into the place around 7 PM on Sunday and only a sparse handful of people were there, I was pretty sure it would miss by a mile.
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<br /><img height="*" width="*" src="http://blamby.org/images/burger.png" border="1" alt=""  /><br /><font size="1" color="darkgreen" face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif"><blockquote><em>Bill's Smokehouse Bacon and Cheddar burger didn't look quite as good as this one.</a></em></blockquote></td>
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<p>Fudds is what I'd call, 'semi-fast food', served do-it-yourself style.  You choose the size of your burger (1/3, 1/2, 3/4, or 1 Lb.) plus any cooked toppings, such as sauteed mushroom or onions, plus your cheese of choice. They cook it up to order while you wait holding your ticket. 
<p>If burgers aren't your thing, they also serve salads, a few of the usual suspect appetizers and sides, plus steak, chicken or fish meals and sandwich selections. Basically, not a bad concept for a family restaurant and the chain did become popular a few years ago, perhaps, I suspect, when real food people were more involved in the management.
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<p>I dunno. The feeling of the place was industrial, prissy and overly-organized. Places where the food rocks need a certain amount of chaos, I've always reckoned. The staff seemed populated by off-the-rack automatons, though very polite ones.
<p>We picked up our drinks (thank god they serve beer) and found a table near the wall in the cavernous dining room. The place was like a wind tunnel. I found us a sheltered table in the corner where at least we wouldn't freeze to death before we had time to finish our dinner.
<p>First off, the automaton who took our order got it wrong... silly me for asking for two things in one sentence. "Two bacon/cheddar burgers," I said, ordering for me and Marii. "One is a third of a pound, the other a half pound." He rung it up, and I never checked the fine faded print on the receipt. The small burger came to us plain.
<p>Next comes a visit to the customization station, where I tossed on some veggies.  Everything seemed fresh and well-tended... 2000 slices of tomato, for example, arrayed in long neat rows and hardly touched. Onions, Jalpenos, lettuce, pickles, salsa, etc., and a nifty Cheese Whiz pumping machine over at the intimidating high-volume condiment dispersal station.
<p> At last, getting to the meat of the matter, I'll give Fuddruckers an A+ on execution, but a C+ overall on the burger. It's a matter of taste, quantity and price... as we Lambert's say, 'Cost Performance'. If I made a half-pound burger at home, it would be twice as thick and have a lot more taste. The Fudds burger had almost no taste and no seasoning to enhance flavor that I could tell.  I'm guessing previously frozen ground beef was used, and of a variety with not enough fat to make a juicy, flavorful patty. Freezing only compounds the taste problem of low fat by squeezing out most of the juices.
<p>My burger was cooked perfectly; the bun fresh, the insides grilled golden brown and just right. However, the 'smokehouse bacon' was scraggly--if it ever saw the inside of a smokehouse, it didn't taste like it. The 'sharp cheddar'
was barely a thin slice and more soaked into the patty, rather than melted on top of it.
<p>The ingredients were the problem, at least for the burgers. Too bad, because it's not cheap.  Our order came to $32 and would have been $35 if they got it right.  Those two burgers and a salad cost more than we spend for dinner in Chinatown.
<p>A $10 burger had better be top notch if people are going to keep coming back. Evidently, they're staying away in droves, at least at this location.
<p>May ordered something called a Yin Yan salad--grilled sesame chicken served with Asian dressing and fresh greens. She liked it. The seasoned steak fries that came with the burgers were tasty, though not quite crisped enough on the outside and you don't get a whole lot of them.
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<td><p align="center" nowrap><font size="2" color="darkblue" face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif">FUDDRUCKERS</font>
<br /><font size="1">550 Turnpike St 
<br />North Andover, MA 01845
<br />(978) 557-1100
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<p align="center"><i><font size="3" face="Times New Roman, Georgia, Times, serif">Rating: 2.5 out of 5.0 Mediocre Tomato Salads<br /></font></i></p>
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    <pubDate>Thu, 30 Jul 2009 11:08:00 -0700</pubDate>
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    <title>Brüno</title>
    <link>http://blamby.org/serendipity/archives/193-Brueno.html</link>
<category>Cinema Girl</category>    <comments>http://blamby.org/serendipity/archives/193-Brueno.html#comments</comments>
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    <author>bill@blamby.org (Bill Lambert)</author>
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					<tr><td align="left" valign="top"><font size="4">B</font><font size="2">rüno is Sacha Baron Cohen's lame attempt to wallow in the mud churned up by his Borat splash, this time as a flamboyant fashionista with a German accent and an affected lisp. 
<p>It's pretty much the same film as Borat, following the format right down to similar attempts at his Christian 'conversion' and naked wrestling with his manager/partner. Along the way, Brüno punks redneck cage-fight fans, a black talk-show audience, a swingers party, a trio of deer hunters, and even politico Ron Paul... as he tries to seduce him, calling him, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ru_Paul" target="_new"> 'RuPaul'</a>
<p>If Cohen could stick to his punking schtick, it would be a funnier, more entertaining film. Instead, like Borat, he insists on spoofing the theatre audience with his gross self-indulgence, as if a character study of Brüno is really necessary, or prancing around half-naked or with rude displays of full frontal nudity are things theatre-goers are bound to find intriguing.</font>
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<br /><img src="http://blamby.org/images/boratBruno.png" alt="" width="250" height="*" align="absmiddle" border="0"  /> 
<blockquote><i><font size="1" color="teal" face="Times New Roman, Georgia, Times, serif">Sasha Baron Cohen is the modern equivalent of the fabled 19th-century flatulist <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Le_Pétomane" target="_new">Le_Pétomane</a>, except the talented French farter had way more class.</blockquote></font></i>
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<p>I suppose one could try for a long reach and call Cohen's antics performance art, if it were good. It's not, mainly because we never convinced a character named Brüno is anything more than Sacha Baron Cohen over-hamming it up in drag.
<P>I suppose this comes from trying to fill up 90-minutes with a collection of skits. Cohen choose to use up about 30 of those minutes by prancing around like a jerk in various states of excessive undress. Not sure why I went to see this one, except that some of the Borat skits worked well. Brüno turned out to be more like watching endless reruns of a fatal train wreck.
<p>This klunker could make someone really miss Pamela Anderson.
<p align="center"><i><font size="3" face="Times New Roman, Georgia, Times, serif">Rating: 1.5 out of 5.0 thoroughly disgusted<br />Fat Laughing Golden Buddhas<br />
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    <pubDate>Sat, 18 Jul 2009 15:49:00 -0700</pubDate>
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    <title>Liberals Go After Cheney Again!</title>
    <link>http://blamby.org/serendipity/archives/192-Liberals-Go-After-Cheney-Again!.html</link>
<category>Guest Columnists</category><category>Lasch Rimschott</category>    <comments>http://blamby.org/serendipity/archives/192-Liberals-Go-After-Cheney-Again!.html#comments</comments>
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    <author>bill@blamby.org (Bill Lambert)</author>
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	<td align="left" valign="top"><p><font size="2"><font size="4">A</font>nyone as intimate with Dick Cheney as I am knew right after 9/11 he would dedicate every ounce of his being into the task of finding Osama Bin Laden and sending his sorry ass home to Jesus. 
<p>What did people think Vice-President Cheney, hunkered down in his fortified basement fun room, was doing all that time? 
<p>Why should Dick Cheney--or anyone in the executive branch, for that matter--need to inform Congress about clandestine operations or the inner workings of American intelligence or counter-intelligence? 
<p>Some two-bit congressional staffer would only sell off the skinny to a treacherous leftist mouthpiece such as the New Yuk Times or CNN and expose our plans to hunt down Bin Laden and his little dog, too--the pasty, un-hygenic Al Zawahiri. </font></td>
	<td width="280" valign="middle" align="center"><img src="http://blamby.org/images/cheneyHat.png" alt="" width="*" height="*" border="0"  /><p><font size="1" color="teal" face="Times New Roman, Georgia, Times, serif"><blockquote><em>Former Vice-President Dick Cheney was so obsessed with finding Osama Bin Laden, he would often dress in Sunni arab garb and even learned to tolerate the exotic taste of Hummus.</em></blockquote></font></td>
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<p>The only thing our inept and dysfunctional Congress could do is ask a lot of stupid questions; for instance, "Why isn't your plan working?", or "How much will this cost?"... or a laundry list of other things they really have no right to question.
<p>C'mon people... did anyone really believe we were <u>not</u> trying our damnedest to boost a bunker-buster up Bin Laden's butt? This alleged "secret plan" was no secret to anyone born with half a brain.
<P>Now that the truth is out, we're told the Vice President ordered the CIA and Delta to stake out every golf course, strip club, adult video store and Walmart between Tora Bora and the Swat Valley for nearly eight years.
<p>You can't blame Dick Cheney for the fact that Bin Laden and Al Zawahiri never showed up. It only goes to prove how much they feared him.
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    <pubDate>Sun, 12 Jul 2009 11:23:00 -0700</pubDate>
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    <title>'Sheed Indeed</title>
    <link>http://blamby.org/serendipity/archives/191-Sheed-Indeed.html</link>
<category>Beantown Fan Attic</category><category>Celtics</category>    <comments>http://blamby.org/serendipity/archives/191-Sheed-Indeed.html#comments</comments>
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    <author>bill@blamby.org (Bill Lambert)</author>
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						<td align="left" valign="top"><font size="4">I</font><font size="2">'ve always enjoyed watching Rasheed Wallace play. He's often killed us, one of only a dozen or so NBA players who has the complete game. Some of the others: Bryant, Duncan, Pierce, Garnett, Billups. These are guys who not only appear all over the stat sheet night after night, but have enough head-game to recognize what the team needs when they need it. 
<p>Though Rasheed isn't usually among in the league top ten in any category except 3-point FG percentage and technical fouls, he excels at every facet of the game, has a high basketball IQ, plays the team game and leads in the locker room.
<p>I can't believe we picked up this guy. It's like a goddamned miracle.
<p>The NBA has funny rules about free agency that evolved through the collective bargaining agreement between the NBA Player's Association and the league. Under the current rules, an unrestricted free agent like Wallace will get the same money no matter who they sign with, so it becomes a matter of situation, not compensation. 
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							<center><p><img src="http://blamby.org/images/rasheedTattoo.png" alt="" width="230" height="*" align="absmiddle" border="0"  /> 
<blockquote><i><font size="1" color="teal" face="Times New Roman, Georgia, Times, serif">Along with his cool game and hot temper, Rasheed Wallace brings to Boston an amazing tattoo depicting himself, his wife Fatima and their three children as ancient Egyptian royalty</font></i></blockquote>
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<p>That the Celtics would go after 'Sheed was pretty much a forgone conclusion. The day free-agent season opened, Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett, Ray Allen, Doc Rivers, Danny Ainge and owner Wic Grousbec bee-lined it to the Motor City and went a-rappin' on the Wallace's door. I'm proud of how they did that... an all out blitz on the guy, and I wouldn't want to be the one to refuse Kevin Garnett.
<p>Danny Ainge is riding a high and mighty horse. You never know about injuries, but barring any big loss to the disabled list, he leap-frogged the Celt's Eastern Division foes with this move. Shaq' in Cleveland? What will he do when Perkins, Garnett and Wallace are the floor at the same time. Boston, once again, has too many weapons. 
<p>Rasheed is James Posey, only taller. Like Posey he'll likely come off the bench as the sixth man and I can't help salivate thinking about Bill Walton in that role in the '86 championship year. Rasheed, with a similar range of skills, can have the same game changing impact as the legendary Redhead did back then.
<p>Totally psyched. This signing is almost as good as getting Garnett, since it fills so many of the missing pieces.
<P>Now let's hope they can resign Leon Powe and Big Baby.


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    <pubDate>Thu, 09 Jul 2009 11:13:00 -0700</pubDate>
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