Blog of Elegantwoman.org

Do Something That Scares You

noreply@blogger.com (elegantwoman.org) — Mon, 28 May 2012 13:42:00 +0000

Found this little quote of wisdom on Facebook today

No matter what age you are, whether you're a teenage or a woman with lots of experience, we all have things that scare us.

I used to think I was Miss Bravado, and I would do whatever in spite of myself, but lately, I've got to admit that I've got quite a number of fears that has crept in.

I'm not sure what prevents you from doing something that you want to do. But me, it is primarily fear. Fear of consequences, fears of failure, fear of humiliation, fear of not being good enough etc etc. I've realized, it is the outcome that I've got to focus on!

Thus, to get something I've never had, I've got to do something I've never done before....

I shall let it sit in my mind and be food for thought for the week.

Hope that this encourages you too!

The Elegant Wealthy - How Not To Be Intimidated

noreply@blogger.com (elegantwoman.org) — Mon, 02 Apr 2012 05:29:00 +0000

I found this description of the 'Elegant Wealthy' befitting.

"Although rich, my classmates and their families were not snobs. They were friendly people involved in the community. I spent a lot of time at my friends' beach homes, on their boats, and flying in their planes. They did not flaunt their wealth. They shared it. To them, being rich seemed natural, not special. It was a lifestyle and a standard of living. Their lifestyle was not that big a deal to them."

"It was I who thought their lifestyle was a big deal, sometimes feeling uncomfortable, sometimes out of place, and acutely aware of the standard of living that separated us."

Exerpt from Rich Dad's Increase Your Financial IQ: Get Smarter with Your Money

Sometimes when we meet someone who intimidate us, whether it is because of the person's elegance, beauty, intelligence, wealth or achievement, we all feel the same way as the author:

"It was I who thought their lifestyle was a big deal, sometimes feeling uncomfortable, sometimes out of place, and acutely aware of the standard of living that separated us."

How else to overcome this? Get educated, especially in the area where you feel most intimidated in. I used to feel the same way as this author, in the presence of many high achieving, well connected people...and to be honest, I still do sometimes. But that was how I found my confidence through education to the best I can - and then shared it on elegantwoman.org! Here is my story.

I recently themed my latest newsletter on the topic of understanding wealth. Though it is not necessary to be wealthy to be elegant, but I believe there needs to be at least an understanding of wealth. There is also a certain sense of quiet confidence that a woman has when she is secure about her finances, which shows in her graceful and elegant manner towards money.

We can't run away from this topic, though I'm sure some of us are already almost covering our ears and humming. We all have to deal with this. It is better to be equipped with some financial education, as I've explained in the Elegant Letters Issue 27.

Coming back to the exerpt at the start of this blogpost, there are 2 things I would like to draw attention to.

Firstly, not everyone who is wealthy have the above described behaviour, though in the ideal world, they would be all like that! I've also written an article about having an elegant attitude towards money.

Secondly, we are all uncomfortable with certain situations, especially in our pursuit of elegance. If going to an expensive restaurant or designer boutique intimidates you, somehow find a way to immerse yourself in those things. Pluck up the courage to have coffee in that restaurant, or read reviews and study their menu online.
Force yourself to dress up just to go into that designer boutique and try on some shoes!

Speaking to very witty, well spoken, high achieving, educated folks used to intimidate me, but I soon realized I 'could just get away with it' by being interested in what they are saying and ask more questions. That way I could minimize the talking! After becoming better friends, I've realized they are all the same as me - with hopes and dreams and problems and disappointments.

Hope you're having a great start to the week!

xoxoxo

Elegant Times

noreply@blogger.com (elegantwoman.org) — Thu, 29 Mar 2012 01:55:00 +0000

Fred Astaire and Cyd Charisse. The Band Wagon (1953, Dir. Vincente Minelli):

What loveliness. I dream...

Video Camera is Telling!

noreply@blogger.com (elegantwoman.org) — Wed, 28 Mar 2012 07:38:00 +0000

Gosh, have you ever had a perspective of yourself totally change when you saw or heard yourself in a recording?

That is me.

Recently, my brother fixed my macbook and I started to play around with the Photo booth function.

I decided to record myself, walking, sitting, standing and just going through every day motions.

Yikes, I look and feel ungraceful. So much for poise and grace!

Of course, we tend to be too hard on ourselves. But, I just thought there is a lesson to learn here!

We can always further and improve and edit. With our new smart camera phones, laptops, affordable pocket digital cameras, there's no excuse! Maybe all you need is an outlet and a reason - you could blog about your experiment, be your own self-critic, or just write in your diary about your video project.

What Happens When I Receive Your Email?

noreply@blogger.com (elegantwoman.org) — Mon, 05 Mar 2012 07:36:00 +0000

On the Subject of Emails

Thank you again for all your emails. Here is what I do with them:

1) I gather your questions and sort them out by subjects, which I might use for a future article.

It is just more efficient to do that, simply because I receive the same questions probably twenty times over. Sometimes, a google search on the top left hand corner on the page will help anyone find their answer...

I have difficulty managing the hundreds of submissions I get for my 'forum' category as well...

At least, I get to find out what are some of the more pressing issues so I still read all of them.

2) Why I can't reply to most emails:

Sometimes, it is impossible for me to reply because the emails are very long and detailed or very subjective ... and there are no right answers. Many of them are very personal and I do not feel qualified to give any suggestions, for I'm not a qualified counsellor or therapist. I also do not feel it is in my place to make a decision, nor risk anyone using my answer as 'a guide or the law'! I hope those of you who wrote me letters in this category will understand.

Other times, I feel my time is better spent for a larger number of people (and myself) when I spend time reading, writing, thinking, interviewing, researching. Everything on elegantwoman.org has taken more than 10 years worth of all that...though there are so many things that are not perfect and I would like to change.

3) Emails regarding my lack of good writing skills, different viewpoints, negative and bashing types

I read them as feedback, and try not to get affected. I welcome different points of view, afterall, elegantwoman.org is not my life, but just one aspect of me and my interests. It gives me an interesting perspective and occasionally, I use that as a springboard for new ideas.

I try to improve. I occasionally send my articles to a professional editor, but they cost me lots of money and all the articles I have written are for free. The books and the e-courses on the other hand, are sent to professional editors and each time they cost me over $1000. I have sent them in more than 6-8 times! Yet, I know there are mistakes. I budget a revision every 2 years (out of the site's earnings after deducting maintenance) for , so please forgive me if you see errors...please know that I built this site out of passion and a desire to live a life 'outside of myself'.

4) Lack of time

Apart from working on elegantwoman.org, I'm also lecturing in a community college, I also have a husband, a house to keep (no children yet, but soon). I also attend church, help out with children's ministry, see my family, friends and I try to read, go to the movies, cook dinner. I'm also involved in small family business. Right now I also dance five times a week and attend a weekly piano lesson. I'm forever working on becoming the woman I want to be...

So, there is not really much time to reply to most emails - I'm sorry about that!

5) Your emails are very important to me

I see them as a way to get to know you. Many of them serve as encouragement, especially when there are times I feel discouraged and ESPECIALLY, when I know I've not been perfect, or a good example. I'm also a person behind the site, not a company, so I see everything. I feel vulnerable to allow such accessible contact, but I know that it is important. I never want to lose contact with my readers. Of course, I feel bad not being able to give attention to everyone, so I created a Facebook page and a Twitter. In business school, they tell me to be more focused, and only do updates regarding my business topic; in this case - updates are supposed to be elegance.

I can't bear to do it, it's too much work, so I pretty much mix a little personal life with work...I just wanted to let you know in case you expect to see 'elegant tips' all the time! It is a lot easier to send a reply or a comment on Facebook and Twitter. In Twitter, it's pretty much nonsense about what I'm doing, where I am...

Elegantwoman.org is about Elegant Principles

I believe in elegant principles. With them, and with the right values and beliefs, you will have the confidence to navigate your way through sticky situations. And you won't need me to customize an elegant solution for you...you are better than me in knowing what to do!

I hope that elegantwoman.org will be one of the guiding pillars to anyone out there who needs a little helping hand....

Hope you all understand!

Why Beauty Matters; Behaving Elegantly around Men

noreply@blogger.com (elegantwoman.org) — Mon, 05 Mar 2012 07:25:00 +0000

Hi everyone,

Gosh, I've been away from this blog for so long. I haven't stopped thinking about it though and I've kept up with the schedule of writing Elegant Letters (Elegantwoman.org's complimentary monthly ezine), so if you're on the mailing list, you should get it!

Here is where you sign up for the mailing list on elegantwoman.org:

I try to blog about my ezines once I'm done writing them but I haven't for the past two issues, so here they are:

Issue 25: Why Beauty Matters

I received quite a bit of flak for that issue, more than usual! Yikes, thankfully, I've learned to ignore and move on and not get hurt or take it personally. It gets me once in a while though, if I'm honest about it!

Issue 26: Elegant Behaviour (around the men in your life)

I definitely do not feel qualified to write about this, but I did my best to point you to the best authority on it from an "elegant perspective". You'll know what I mean when you read the ezine!

Scent of a Woman

noreply@blogger.com (elegantwoman.org) — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 06:02:00 +0000

What remains of a woman when she is in the dark? When she has undressed, when she has taken off her dress, when we can no longer see her make up, her wonderful hair, her beautiful eyes, when she takes off her jewellery, what is left? Only her charming voice and her perfume.
- Jean-Paul Guerlain

Issue 24 Elegant Letters - The Importance of Art Appreciation

noreply@blogger.com (elegantwoman.org) — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 01:46:00 +0000

"Art is man's effort to produce the ideal," says Anna Morgan,

"It divides itself into as many branches as there are vehicles used. A beautiful house, a magnificent temple, a jewel finely cut and uniquely set, the mind and character of a man suggested by the sculptor's hand in plaster or marble of by the painter's brush on canvas, a rug rare in design and colouring, a chair or table the form and colour of which provoke our admiration, a song which is repeated by poet and peasant, each and all are works of art, vehicles used for the conveyance of the thought and emotion of man."

Hi everyone!

The latest issue of Elegant Letters was sent out to your inboxes a couple of days ago. In it, I talked about the many benefits of appreciating art whether it is the theatre, music or a great old classic book.

I've also tried to remove any misconceptions of Art appreciation. Yes, anyone can appreciate art. You may not know all of it, but art appreciation is about finding your place in art. What are you drawn towards? What are you captivated by?

That was how I started. I later discovered how they are all somewhat linked together.

I was inspired to about Art Appreciation after I watched Romeo and Juliet at the Sydney Opera House. It was refreshing! And the Sydney Opera House is always a kind of a wonder to me...

Read Elegant Letters Issue 24: The importance of Art Appreciation

Issue 23 Elegant Letters - Posture, Embarrasment and Class

noreply@blogger.com (elegantwoman.org) — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 04:51:00 +0000

Hi!

I hope you're having a wonderful day.

I've been receiving quite a few very sweet emails in response to my latest issue of Elegant Letters (see below). I just want to say thank you to everyone who supports the work of elegantwoman.org in big and little ways. Thank you to all those who posts helpful and encouraging words on elegantwoman.org's Facebook wall too. They are greatly appreciated!

I've been busy at work trying to finish up for the year and I hope to reply to all of your emails soon.

Anyway, for those of you who aren't really into getting yet another email in your already-full inbox (I completely understand!), I just wanted to let you know that you can read Issue 23 of Elegant Letters here.

Reaching should be done by muscles.

I wrote about:

My recent training and study of elegant posture by two ballet professional ballet dancers
A beautiful illustration of class through a recent book I read, Mao's Last Dancer
The issue of embarassment and how does an elegant woman handle that

Hope you like it!

You may click to view it here: Issue 23 of Elegant Letters

Until my next blogpost, new article, or newsletter, see you on Facebook or Twitter!

Eunice

P.s. Christmas is just round the corner! *Happiness*

Issue 22 Elegant Letters

noreply@blogger.com (elegantwoman.org) — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 05:46:00 +0000

Hi everyone!

Just a quick note to say the latest edition of Elegant letters Issue 22 is out now.

I wrote a bit about the pleasure principle and the great reminder of 'do more of what you love'.

I've also shared a bit of what I've been up to - just some personal things.

Lastly, here is a little poem I'll like to share about the love of dancing:

On with the dance! let joy be unconfined;
No sleep till morn, when Youth and Pleasure meet
To chase the glowing hours with flying feet.

~George Gordon, Lord Byron, Childe Harold's Pilgrimage

Love, Eunice

Become by Modelling - Model Kate Middleton

noreply@blogger.com (elegantwoman.org) — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 03:54:00 +0000

Kate Middleton had a well rounded life before she married into the royal family.

I was reading a little bit about education and learning methods and I've stumbled on this effective way of learning, which is through modelling. There are many interpretations of this but it is generally described as:

acting
imitating
pretending
channelling

Of course, you must first have role models to apply your modelling strategies.

So that is why I included the page of elegant women whom I think is worth modelling. They all have strengths and weaknesses from an elegant perspective but that is better because we can simply take inspiration from what we can use.

After all, we want to be who we are, unique, beautiful individuals, and not replicas of someone we're not, right? :)

Anyhow, I've included a new permanent page of the model Kate Middleton, which was adapted and reproduced from one of my earlier issues of my monthly newsletter.

Your Travel Education

noreply@blogger.com (elegantwoman.org) — Tue, 27 Sep 2011 04:14:00 +0000

I believe that there is a strong relationship elegance and simplicity. Elegant living is a lifestyle choice and that translates into many ways, such as the way you spend your money and time. More thought, less haste, less waste, more meaning, education and experience over the accumulation of materials.

Rolf Potts shares his perspective in an unconventional book, which I've included one of my favourite passages.

This notion - that material investment is somehow more important to life than personal investment - is exactly what leads so many of us to believe we could never afford to go vagabonding. The more our life options get paraded around consumer options, the more we forget that there's a difference between the two. Thus, having convinced ourselves that buying things is the only way to play an active role in the world, we fatalistically conclude that we'll never be rich enough to purchase a long-term travel experience. - Vagabonding: An Uncommon Guide to the Art of Long-Term World Travel

Travel is a big part of education in learning to be classy, but most people disregard it because they think they cannot afford to travel. This book shows us how affordable travel can be.

Are you the perfect dinner guest?

noreply@blogger.com (elegantwoman.org) — Mon, 26 Sep 2011 05:19:00 +0000

Hi everyone,

Pardon the late shout out but Elegant Letters, Issue #21 was published and emailed about 10 days ago. If you want to be the first to know, subscribe to Elegant Letters. It is published once a month and you can unsubscribe any time. I don't have time to send any other emails along with it too!

It was inspired by the novel by Karen Blixen, Out of Africa and its historical accounts which was turned into an award winning movie with the same name. Here is an excerpt of the newsletter:

I was reading a little bit of history of Colonial Africa, as depicted by Karen Blixen in her classic book 'Out of Africa '. In those days without phones, television, the internet and other entertainment sets and gadgets, at that time and in that place (Africa), conversation was a highly prized art. You could spend five days getting to see somebody, and when you went, you were invited to stay the night. You talked and so the better you are at conversation, the more prized guest you'll be.

I've also included topics of The Art of the Table, where I wrote an article on cutlery etiquette, featuring photos taken with my Blackberry of the cutlery I use to eat at home. That Blackberry phone has since passed away.

I also added Kate Middleton into our section of Elegant Women.

A Great Reminder

noreply@blogger.com (elegantwoman.org) — Wed, 14 Sep 2011 03:51:00 +0000

I try to read this every now and again.

Hope it blesses you too. Love, Eunice

What You Say and What You Read

noreply@blogger.com (elegantwoman.org) — Mon, 12 Sep 2011 09:58:00 +0000

"French women try hard to look effortlessly chic. Almost as if they're ashamed to admit they go shopping, which they obviously do. There is a culture that what you say and read are more important than how you look." - Inès de La Fressange


At her book signing Parisian Chic: A Style Guide by Ines de la Fressange

Favourite Passages from Classic, "Out of Africa"

noreply@blogger.com (elegantwoman.org) — Wed, 31 Aug 2011 05:15:00 +0000

What I love about some classic books is the beauty of their play with words, a glimpse into the past and culture and the ability to relate to the same hopes, fears and dreams. They are the reasons why I read some books over and over again.

Some of my favourite passages from Out of Africa :

"But a coffee-plantation is a thing that gets hold of you and does not let you go, and there is always something to do on it: you are generally just a little behind you work." (pg 16)

Sounds like my curious job of building websites.

"Out in the wilds I had learned to beware of abrupt movements. The creatures with which you are dealing there are shy and watchful, they have a talent for evading you when you least expect it. No domestic animal can be as still as a wild animal. The civilized people have lost the aptitude of stillness, and must take lessons in silence from the wild before they are accepted by it. The art of moving gently, without suddenness, is the first to be studied by the hunter, and more so by the hunter with the camera." (pg 24)

I love how she describes the art of moving gently - certainly rare in our society these days.

"The love of woman and womanliness is a masculine characteristic, and the love of man and manliness is a feminine characterstic..." (pg 24)

"As it is almost impossible for a woman to irritate a real man, and as to the woman, a man is never quite contemptible, never altogether rejectable, as long as he remains a man..."(pg 24)

About men and women and how I believe it is supposed to be.

"People who dream when they sleep at night know of a special kind of happiness which the world of the day holds not, a placid ecstasy, and ease of heart, that are like honey on the tongue. They also know that the real glory of dreams lies in their atmosphere of unlimited freedom. (pg 82)

I remember my childhood directive approach to my dreams, especially those minutes in my bed as I go to sleep at night...

"So I went to bed, taking a book with me, and leaving the lamp to burn. In Africa, when you pick up a book worth reading, out of the deadly consignments which good ships are being made to carry out all the way from Europe, as you read it as an author would like his book to be read, praying to God that he may have it in him to go on as beautifully as he has begun. Your mind runs, transported, upon a fresh deep green track." (pg 85)

"My own books I packed up in cases and sat on them, or dined on them. Books in a colony play a different part of your existence from what they do in Europe; there is a whole side of your life which there they alone take charge of; and on this account, according to their quality, you feel more grateful to them, or more indignant with them, than you will ever do in civilized countries." (pg 309)

Books: Another form of living, another form of dreaming - it is a way to live several lives at once.

"I had been on the farm longing to get away, and they came back to it longing for books and linen sheets and the cool atmosphere in a big shuttered room; by their camp fires they had been meditating upon the joys of farm life.." (pg 178)

"As far as Berkeley Cole and Denys Finch-Hatton were concerned, my house was a communist establishment. Everything in it was theirs, and they took a pride in it, and brought home things they felt to be lacking. They kept the house up to a high standard in wine and tobacco, and got books and gramophone records out from Europe for me. Berkeley arrived with his car loaded up with turkey's eggs, and oranges from his own farm in Mount Kenya. They both had the ambition to make me a judge of wine, as they were, and spent much time and thought on the task. They took greatest pleasure in my Danish table glass and china, and used to build up on the dinner table a tall shining pyramid of all my glass, the one piece on top of the other; they enjoyed the sight of it." (Pg 183- 184)

The pleasures and joys of a well-loved home.

"Denys had a trait of character which to me was very precious, he liked to hear a story told....Fashions have changed, and the art of listening to a narrative has been lost in Europe. The Natives of Africa, who cannot read, have still got it; if you begin to them: 'There was a man who walked out on the plain, and there he met another man,' you have them all with you, their minds running upon the unknown track of the men on the plain. But white people, even if they feel that they ought to, cannot listen to a recital. If they do not become fidgety, and remember things that should be done at once, they fall asleep. The same people will ask you for something to read, and may then sit all through an evening absorbed in any kind of print handed them, they will even then read a speech. They have been accustomed to take in their impressions by the eye.
Denys, who lived much by the ear, preferred hearing a tale told to reading it; when he came to the farm he would ask: 'Have you got a story?' (pg 194)

The art of listening - a real treasure seldom truly practised.

"The giraffes turned their delicate heads from the one side to the other, as if they were surprised, which they might well be. They had not seen the sea before. They could only just have room to stand in the narrow case. The world had suddenly shrunk, changed and closed round them.
They could not know or imagine the degradation to which they were sailing. For they were proud and innocent creatures, gentle amblers of the great plains; they had not the least knowledge of captivity, cold, stench, smoke and mange, nor of the terrible boredom in a world in which nothing is ever happening." (pg 257)

My love-hate relationship with zoos; as well as representation of self-inflicted prisons.

"The people of the farm who grieved most at my departure were I think the old women. The old Kikuyu women have had hard life and have themselves become flint-hard under it. Like old mules which will bite you if they can come to it. They were more difficult for any disease to kill off than their men, as I learned in my practice as a doctor, and they were wilder than the men, and, even more thoroughly than they, devoid of the faculty of admiration. They had borne a number of children ,and had seen many of them die; they were afraid of nothing.
...
The old women took a keen interest in everything that was going on on the farm, and would walk ten miles to look at a Ngoma of the young people; a joke. or a cup of tembu, would make their wrinkled toothless faces dissolve in laughter. This strength. and love of life in them, to me seemed not only highly respectable. but glorious and bewitching. The old women of the farm and I had always been friends. " (pg 325-326)

The true glory of living

How to Introduce Someone Properly

noreply@blogger.com (elegantwoman.org) — Thu, 25 Aug 2011 05:18:00 +0000

Hello!

Just a quick shout out that Elegant Letters Issue 20 was emailed to your inbox last week.

The main gist of the newsletter was about having the heart for others and the art of introduction.

The Art of Introduction

"Learning the unspoken rules of introduction etiquette is a useful social skill. Knowing how to introduce yourself or how to introduce others puts you and others at social ease. A great introduction can be the start of a rewarding friendship. Making a good introduction leaves a favourable impression on others.

You are probably already practising the right way to make introductions without knowing it. As these are general guidelines, don't worry about making small mistakes. Most people will overlook them or not even realize your blunder."

Read more about introduction etiquette.

Importance of Reading Classics

noreply@blogger.com (elegantwoman.org) — Mon, 22 Aug 2011 05:47:00 +0000

I believe the elegance and taste in a person can be cultivated by first improving of the mind. One of those ways is by reading Classic books.

To deepen thinking and cultivate the mind.

Somebody who reads only newspapers and at best the books of contemporary authors looks to me like an extremely nearsighted person who scorns eyeglasses. He is completely dependent on the prejudices and fashions of his times, since he never gets to see or hear anything else. And what a person thinks on his own without being stimulated by the thoughts and experiences of other people is even in the best case rather paltry and monotonous.

There are only a few enlightened people with a lucid mind and style and with good taste within a century. What has been preserved of their work belongs among the most precious possessions of mankind.

Nothing is more needed than to overcome the modernist’s snobbishness.

(Supposedly said by Einstein)

- How To Improve Your Mind By Reading Classics

I thought this is quite an easy explanation of the value of classic books.

My Search for an Elegant Ski Outfit

noreply@blogger.com (elegantwoman.org) — Thu, 18 Aug 2011 01:45:00 +0000

I missed ski season this year. I was in London at a conference and joined my family in Europe. My friends decided to go Austria this year and I heard it was so much fun. Unfortunately, I felt that the conference was a once in a lifetime thing and there were people who I wanted to meet. It was a case of "so near, yet so far."

I guess it is strange to be thinking about skiing at this time of the year, but it is winter and ski season in Australia! I sorely miss Mount Hotham, which is my favourite of all the ski mountains there.

It has always been one of my dreams of being able to design my own ski outfit. I have...in my own way. I've worn non-ski clothes on the mountains, adding my own spin to it such as a belt and scarves or a furry little stole. But one day I hope to design a more elegant outfit for the beautiful snowy capped mountains.

I studied what people wore in the past (see pictures on your right) and it is not always true that their outfits were more elegant AND practical. At the very least, you could easily tell between male and female on the slopes. Now, it is not that easy unless the outfit is neon pink.

After browsing the web for pictures, I realize that even my last statement is not true.

Then we had the one piece suits, which are may be elegant but not too practical, especially for us women. Also, why did they have to come in neon colours?

Here are some other dated pictures of skiiers.

Hmmm...not quite what I am looking for.

Though this picture of Brigitte Bardot is quite beautiful, I'm not sure how practical it is.

And these are my current outfits - I like them a lot but they are wearing out and are soon to be expired.

Lake Tahoe, USA

Mount Hotham, Australia

Does anybody else have examples of beautiful elegant ski outfits?

Colonial Elegance - The Raffles Hotel Singapore

noreply@blogger.com (elegantwoman.org) — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 03:01:00 +0000

And Why I Usually Write in British English

It was Singapore's national day on 9th August (yesterday). The British obtained sovereignty over the island in 1824 and Singapore became one of the British Straits Settlements in 1826. Singapore was occupied by the Japanese in World War II and reverted to British rule after the war. It became internally self-governing in 1959.

Raffles hotel still retains the 1800s colonial elegance from the British rule.

The Raffles Hotel was opened in 1899 and it was named after Singapore's founder Sir Stamford Raffles.

Managed by Raffles International, it is known for its luxurious accommodation and superb restaurants. The hotel houses a tropical garden courtyard, museum and Victorian-style theatre.

It is one of my favourite places to lunch or have tea on special occasions. I was so excited when my husband suggested dinner there for our up and coming anniversary.

See more pictures of this beautiful elegant hotel at its official website.

Becoming a Woman of the Finest Class's New Book Cover!

noreply@blogger.com (elegantwoman.org) — Tue, 26 Jul 2011 07:27:00 +0000

New Cover

And so, finally, the paperback version is out! And it has a new book cover to match too!

Back of the book.

Book description:
A Guide to Class and Refinement
Authored by Eunice Leong-Tan

We may celebrate the diminishing social class system, but genteel manners are forgotten; gallantry and chivalry are abandoned.

However, there still exists an old ruling class who continue to operate with the same values, deportment and traditions. One can't help but admire the dignified and respectful way they conduct their lives. Even though they may no longer have their original fortunes, they continue to live gracefully. They are a society of the finest class.

In Becoming a Woman of the Finest Class the author presents a study of how one can acquire a similar appearance of gentility and finesse. She draws from her studies of the history of civilisation, nobility and aristocracy, and observations of the modern elite, to explore and dissect the mysterious qualities of class.

Of course, I'll encourage the ebook version - to save the trees and the earth.

Why I Wrote This Book

Simply put, I was put in an environment where I wanted to feel equal to people around me who were born with silver spoons in their mouth. I noticed the difference early on, and while I wouldn't say I was very different...I wanted a similar confidence.

That began a long journey of research, trial and error. I later realized 'this project' that I had undertook was really figuring out, (excuse me, for the lack of a better word or description), how people of refinement and 'class' behaved and why they behaved the way they did.

I must say, I thoroughly enjoyed writing the book - writing was my favourite part because I get to go through a journey back into time and relish every moment of discovery again.

The journey of writing this book

It was long, very long. That is besides putting all thoughts to paper and re-reading it countless times until the words don't register in the brain anymore. It was the process after the finished manuscript was that I didn't expect to be so long and tedious.

After writing the book, I used a professional editor, which I enjoyed working with. Together we straightened out the chapters, the flow of the book, the accurate meaning of words taking into account grammar, culture etc. There was not enough funds for the first book, Secrets of Elegance when I first wrote it and I used 3 amateur editors instead. Getting a professional one really made all the difference. I see that now.

Then I had a professional page designer (or whatever the accurate profession is) to professionally lay the book out to make it easy reading.Though it is just words, and I'll admit I thought to spend on 'professionally laying out text' was frivolous. Also, now being able to compare the difference between this and the first book. I'll also say that it was worth it. (I'm now revamping the first book).

I decided to do a single line text layout this time because it was three times the content of the first book. Plus, a thinner book is not only portable and handy and not intimidating to read, it was better for the environment..

There isn't a budget yet for a professional cover designer - though many people tell me that is vitally important.

While I was doing this, everything else took a backseat, work assignments, social life, travel, books, hobbies, my plants, house things ... housework took about a 25% quality cut (which I'm catching up now). I realize this now, that writing a book requires discipline and perserverance. It is actually great for character building, if any of you would like to try.

Anyway, I just thought I'd share. :) Thanks for reading!

Compassion for Others - Trademark elegance

noreply@blogger.com (elegantwoman.org) — Fri, 22 Jul 2011 02:42:00 +0000

I recently read this book A Friend Like Henry: The Remarkable True Story of an Autistic Boy and the Dog That Unlocked His World and have now a greater understanding and compassion for those who have the disability, Autism and especially mothers who have children with autism.

I was extremely humbled by this read about a mother's struggles to help her autistic children fit into society and be independent.

It pains me to recall the thoughts through my head as I read through Nuala's eyes...as she struggled with a son who did not seem to love her back, who seemed normal on the outside but throw terrifying tantrums in public, who suffered condescending remarks from outsiders. I do not think I'm as noble.

It also provided an insight to what people with autism go through, their frustrations and battles to fit in our society rules and social norm.

Eighty percent of our communication is non-verbal, coming from eyes, faces and body language and it is in this area people with autism often have the greatest difficulty.

Dale, who has autism says in his own words, "I hated trying to work out what someone's face was telling me, especially if it was a new one or someone I didn't know every well. I found it scary as I couldn't work out if they were angry or feeling all right, and I found the whole eye contact thing very confusing and frightening."

Though this book isn't about elegance, I find that having compassion for and interest in others is a trademark of elegance.And this book brings that part out of us. Sometimes it is not a person's fault if she does not seem to care - I believe that stems of the lack of exposure and ignorance and the lack of understanding of those in need. A greater exposure to life helps us realize and understand that our privileges and comfy comforts are not bestowed on us to just to enjoy but also to help others.

Is Elegance Important?

noreply@blogger.com (elegantwoman.org) — Sat, 16 Jul 2011 11:53:00 +0000

This is written in response to my latest Elegant Letters :Is Elegance Important, How to do Chic.

Dear all,

Thank you all for your touching emails of encouragement! It really lifted my spirits! I'm sure it is exactly how etiquette, posture training got out-phased in modern schools today, compared to 50 years ago. Not everyone in modern society feels (whatever elegantwoman.org is) is relevant anymore, especially in democratic societies.

I'm not condoning a class society (I'm a meritocrat), I'm merely outlining my observations of what makes a person elegant and refined. I'm sure it works both ways - hard for my ex-university school mates to relate to my microscale website, and hard for me to relate to prestigious jobs which I left behind! Anyway, I'm glad for you all who can see past the 'superficial' side of elegance and understand what it means to be an elegant spirit. Thanks for being my inspiration!

Love,
Eunice

How to Look Chic

noreply@blogger.com (elegantwoman.org) — Fri, 08 Jul 2011 04:58:00 +0000

It's friday!

I love weekends but sometimes I prefer the solitude of weekdays (I work independently). I'm grateful for my husband to take over the entertaining and socializing side of life when I'm stuck with endless readings and research. He has organized a little steamboat dinner tonight at our house with some friends, I can't wait!

Did I tell you that I've recently done another wardrobe edit? I like to do them whenever I feel like my life is getting cluttered. Even if it has nothing to do with clothes. I like getting rid of too many - I find that peaceful and therapeutic. Though that doesn't mean I don't struggle with parting with stuff!

Anyhow, in re-organizing my wardrobe, I've figured since I've moved to a tropical country, I don't need all my jackets and boots - it's hot all year round. Some of my favourite dresses are made with materials too thick - so I can only wear them in the evenings.

My lifestyle has changed too - it is different to the ones in Australia and the United States. There is a greater need for casual outfits in hot and humid countries, but then I didn't want to compromise on elegance, so I started to pay attention on how to do chic.

Many people use that word to describe stylish, in all sorts of interpretations.

Personally, I interpret chic as to be casually elegant, but with a bit of an attitude. You can read about my latest addition on elegantwoman here: How to look Chic.

Happy weekend!

Staying True to Feminity, Grace and Poise

noreply@blogger.com (elegantwoman.org) — Mon, 04 Jul 2011 04:25:00 +0000

Question: In our ever changing society - where sex is the most promoted topic around, what magazines do you recommend for the self-aware woman who is trying to stay true to her femininity, grace and poise?
(By Tinkerco)

Answer: I don't recommend any magazines though I read them to keep updated with beauty and fashion news.
I recommend having the right values, reading good books and personally for me, spending time with Jesus.

Women I admire.