September’s Neighborhood Pet Store Day celebration at Andersen’s Pet Shop was such a joy. Thank you to everyone who stopped by with their animal companions to share ice cream, stories, and connection. I loved spending the day offering mini animal communication sessions and witnessing the care this community has for its pets.

A heartfelt thank-you to the Russell family and the Andersen’s team for hosting such a warm, welcoming event. Their commitment to supporting animals and the people who love them is truly something special.

If you missed the Crescenta Valley Weekly feature after the event, you can read it here: “Community Comes Out for Neighborhood Pet Store Day.”

I’m grateful to everyone who shared part of their Saturday with me. I hope to see you and your beloved companions at a future event.

Join me at Andersen's Pet Shop on Saturday, September 27, from 10 a.m.-1 p.m. for a Neighborhood Pet Store Day Ice Cream Social! In honor of the connections between neighborhood pet stores and their communities, Andersen's Pet Shop will provide free doggie ice cream and free gift bags (while supplies last). Come celebrate a third-generation family-owned and operated business that's been voted "Best Pet Store" by the Pasadena Weekly and the Glendale News-Press. If you're in Los Angeles and the La Crescenta, Montrose, and Glendale areas, we would love to see you and your animal friends!

P.S.— Check out the Crescenta Valley Weekly interview with Andersen's Pet Shop co-owner, Alyce Russell, Neighborhood Pet Store Day Celebrated at Andersen's, for what to expect from the day, the importance of independent pet stores, a mention of my animal communication work, and a recognition of the growing interest in animal communication.

Andersen's Pet Shop

2218 Honolulu Ave 

Montrose, CA 91020

1 (818) 249-1724

The relationships we share with our animal friends are profound, and I’m continually amazed by their unique ability to teach us about resilience. When Vogue writer Emma Specter contacted me about communicating with her adorable dog, Franklin, I learned that, like many rescue animals, Franklin had experienced trauma. When I read Emma’s article not long after our meeting, I was moved by the insights she gleaned through communicating with him.

In part, she shared:

“I promptly became verklempt at the notion of my Maltipoo and me healing our attachment issues and emotional wounds together—only to dissolve into a flood of tears when Moore asked my permission to share some of the rougher aspects of Frank’s early (pre-adoption) life. I know this is all sounding very ‘The Body Keeps The Score: Dog Edition,’ but it was instantly striking to me how Moore’s comment about shame mirrored a recurring trend in my own therapy sessions. Seeing that pattern repeated in my silly little puppy made me feel a tenderness not only for him, but for his dog mom, too.”

— Emma Specter, Vogue Magazine

You can read the full article here:

“A Pet Psychic, My Weird Little Maltipoo, and Myself.

Much gratitude to Emma and Franklin for sharing their story!

What a night! I am so grateful to have been part of the inaugural CAMP (Community Animal Medicine Project) LA Pet Gala on October 23 at the SmogShoppe in Culver City. This inspiring masquerade fundraiser brought together passionate pet lovers, community leaders, and advocates—all for the vital mission of making veterinary care accessible and affordable for pets and their families in Los Angeles. Together, we helped raise over $100,000 toward CAMP’s new South LA facility, providing much-needed spay, neuter, and basic veterinary services to thousands of pets each year.

Offering Animal Communication Mini Sessions in a Unique Setting

One of the highlights of the evening was connecting with so many of you and your pets through complimentary animal communication mini-sessions. Thank you to the thoughtful organizers, Ari and Erin, for arranging a quiet space: I had the pleasure of holding 10-minute sessions in a warm, private atmosphere. Despite the busy gala environment, each session felt meaningful, and it was so rewarding to see people’s responses to their pets’ messages. Many of you mentioned wanting to connect further, and I look forward to continuing those conversations in future sessions.

Celebrating CAMP’s Impact and Honoring Local Heroes

Throughout the evening, CAMP’s mission was front and center. Los Angeles Mayor Karen Bass joined us briefly to thank CAMP and the Michelson Found Animals Foundation for their work in providing accessible veterinary care, especially with the ongoing animal shelter overcrowding crisis. The silent auction, where two of my full-length animal communication sessions were bid on and sold, also helped support CAMP’s mission.

It was a joy to be part of this event, connect with new friends, and support CAMP in its journey toward helping even more pets and families. Overall, it was a wonderful evening, and I’m grateful for the opportunity to participate in this incredible cause.

Looking Ahead

Reflecting on this night, I feel deeply inspired by the connections we created and the support for CAMP’s mission. I’ve already offered to join CAMP at future events, and I look forward to meeting more pet lovers and helping facilitate those special connections with their animals.

Thank you to everyone who stopped by for a session and joined in celebrating this important cause. I can’t wait to see what the future holds—and look forward to connecting with you and your pets again soon!

If you’re interested in staying involved with CAMP, their work continues, and they welcome support from the community. From donations to event sponsorships, each contribution goes a long way in helping pets across Los Angeles. For more information on how to get involved, visit CAMPLA’s website.

I am thrilled to announce that I’ll be attending the inaugural CAMP LA Pet Gala on Wednesday, October 23, at the SmogShoppe in Culver City! This magical masquerade promises an evening filled with celebration, elegance, and, most importantly, a chance to support CAMP's inspiring work in making veterinary care accessible and equitable for pets and their families across Los Angeles.

At the event, I’ll offer animal communication mini-sessions to help deepen your understanding of the special bond you share with your pet. Whether you're curious about your pet’s thoughts and feelings or simply want to communicate more deeply, I’m here to help make those connections for you. You’ll also have the chance to bid on fantastic prizes, including one of two available full-length, one-hour animal communication sessions with me.

Event Highlights

Here's what you can expect:

• 6:00 pm – VIP reception

• 6:30 pm – The evening kicks off with cocktails, hors d'oeuvres, live music, and a variety of interactive activities, including a silent auction, Mask Making Bar, and animal communication mini-sessions with me!

• 7:30 pm – Enjoy a seated dinner and the Honoree Presentation, where we’ll celebrate remarkable figures like Dr. Gary K. Michelson, Alya Michelson, and the Robert and Erika Brunson Fund for their contributions.

• 9:00 pm – Wrap up the night with dessert and dancing under the stars!

The event will be hosted by the charming Hunter March, with a special VIP guest appearance by Jackson Galaxy. It’s an evening designed to bring together pet lovers, supporters, and advocates for a memorable cause.

How to Get Involved

The Pet Gala will also feature opportunities to contribute to CAMP’s mission through sponsorships, donations, and a silent auction. Each contribution will help continue CAMP’s work in providing affordable veterinary care, community resources, and pet education.

So, grab your most festive mask (or make one at the event) and join us for a night to remember! I look forward to connecting with you and your pets, sharing insights, and supporting this important cause.

Event Details

Date: Wednesday, October 23

Location: SmogShoppe, Culver City, Los Angeles, CA 90034

Time: 6:30 – 10:00 pm

For more information on tickets, sponsorships, or donations, visit CAMP LA’s website. Let’s make a difference together and celebrate the love we share with our pets. I can't wait to see you there!

I recently had the pleasure of working with Sean Copeland of B105.7, and I wanted to share a few highlights from his experience with Frederick Jr., his very charming cat. It was clear to me right away that this kitty had much to say. Sean was kind enough to share his thoughts on our session, and it was touching to hear how much it meant to him.

Sean described our session this way: “So 90 seconds in, and I’m crying already. How would she know those things? That he’s chatty, that he was in the shelter for a long time, that I’ve always been a dog person. I’ve never shared any of those things online or on the air.”

After our session, Sean felt a deeper connection to Frederick Jr. and became a believer in animal communication. He shared, "I really think this lady has a gift. I really think that there’s something to it. But even if you’re so skeptical or cynical that you think it’s a scam—which I don’t believe that it is—I felt better. I felt more connected to my pet afterward, which makes it totally worth the money."

Hearing that means so much to me, as my goal is always to help foster that bond and communication between pets and their humans. It’s a privilege to work with such beautiful souls and help their families experience that deeper connection.

Thank you, Sean, for sharing your experience and for letting me be part of your journey with Frederick Jr.

Check out the B105.7 article to read and watch the entire review.

It's the pre-dawn hush of a California morning, and I've just stepped back inside after a starlit walk with my devoted dog, Blaze. In the chaparral of the Verdugo foothills, the dry brush crackles with the distant movements of wildlife, but it's quiet now as I pour my morning coffee. Suddenly, the motion light flicks on outside the north window. Peering through the blinds, what I expect to be a passing deer or coyote turns out to be the sleek form of a mountain lion. Startled, my coffee takes flight, landing on my clothes.

This surprise encounter with a wild puma feels a world away from the familiar streets of Minneapolis, where Blaze and I once walked. Fueled by the hope and possibility of living closer to my infant granddaughter, the move to mountain lion territory in the fall of 2020 followed the loss of the life I had known—the death of my two beloved cats, William and Anubis, and the decision to close my cherished dance/movement therapy practice. All of this happened amidst the unsettling backdrop of a world grappling with the COVID-19 pandemic and the reckoning of George Floyd's tragic death. As I reflect on my encounter with that giant, wild cat, I am reminded of another, more renowned mountain lion.

Today marks the first anniversary of the death of the famous mountain lion, P-22. Like many, I found myself enthralled by the news coverage of P-22. Furthermore, as someone who communicates with animals, I was fascinated by how this silent sentinel of the wild was able to transcend his status as a numbered research subject, capture the nation's imagination, and leave a legacy that has so much to teach humanity about our current condition.

Born around 2010, P-22 entered our national consciousness after surviving two daring freeway crossings. This feat earned him legendary status and dominion over the densely populated territory of Griffith Park. His fame soared with an iconic 2013 National Geographic photograph against the backdrop of the Hollywood sign.

Yet, fame did not shield P-22 from suffering. A resilient wild creature, he deftly navigated the challenges of urban life, avoiding humans and their pets, reigning over a fractured urban habitat that also imprisoned him. After many years in Griffith Park without incident, his behavior changed. 

He was captured after ingesting rat poison, he was treated for mange and malnourishment and released. After his recovery, he made headlines again in 2016 after he scaled a nine-foot fence at the Los Angeles Zoo and killed a lovable koala. In 2022, he attacked three dogs within weeks of each other, killing one and injuring its owner. After the last attack, instead of retreating to his domain, he sought refuge in a residential backyard where he was easily captured. I suspect that these attacks were a call for help.

A closer look by a medical team revealed that P-22 sustained severe injuries from a car collision, kidney disease, arthritis, and chronic weight loss. The unanimous recommendation was for compassionate euthanasia, and P-22 passed away on December 17, 2022.

The legacy of P-22 endures. In February 2023, thousands filled the Greek Theatre to memorialize the "King of Griffith Park." P-22 inspired the construction of The Wallis Annenberg Wildlife Crossing within The Liberty Canyon Wildlife Corridor, which is set to be the world’s largest by 2025. In the twelve years on this earth, he maintained fierceness despite the confines of his urban territory.

P-22’s life became a metaphor, reflecting shared struggles and aspirations between the untamed wilderness and the intricate tapestry of human existence. His trials mirror our battles with adapting to change, negotiating societal boundaries, grappling with environmental shifts, and seeking recognition and connection. In the echoes of his suffering, P-22 implored us to be more aware; he taught us to respect his life, to acknowledge our interconnectedness and the impact of our choices.

After P-22's passing, the awe returned, reminiscent of the morning I saw the mountain lion out my window. On a dusty walk with Blaze along the mountain trail, I sensed P-22's spirit—an untamed force whispering about the wild beauty surrounding us, urging humans to embrace life's uncertainty. Stepping forward on this new path, my heart, still recovering from loss, opened with more ease, guided by the timeless wisdom of a mountain lion who once ruled the land.

Many people struggle with when to say goodbye to a beloved, ailing pet. Fraught with contradictions, an animal companion’s death and dying process can be very confusing. The when of saying goodbye can sometimes be difficult to recognize or accept as we notice physical and behavioral changes with our animal companions. These changes often bring a range of emotions and questions for us. Our pet may seem ready to depart one day only to bounce back with playful energy and a hearty appetite the next. You may vacillate between not wanting to end the life of an animal too soon and not wanting to cause undue suffering by waiting too long. Though each animal and human relationship is unique, there are a few consistent themes from my practice that I would like to share here.

A pet’s end-of-life process might include several vet visits, consultations with specialists, and medical tests. Many ailing animals have expressed a preference to be with their families rather than spending time in a clinic alone. Still, many have been willing to undergo extensive medical treatments to support their human companions or assist the medical staff in learning more about their ailment, especially if it is something rare. The animals I have met who are dying are aware of it and are relieved to talk about it with their loved ones. Discussing end-of-life wishes, including euthanasia, where they would like to die and who they would like to be present helps them prepare. Sharing stories, knowing they will be remembered, and that their families will be okay in their absence are topics they often bring up in a dialogue. 

Anticipating the loss of a beloved animal is difficult on many levels and getting the right support is important. Remember that you are on a learning curve and that you can make clearer decisions by taking good care of yourself too. Whatever decisions need to be made, having a conversation can bring relief for both humans and animals as well as clarify next steps. Below are some “frequently asked questions” that may help you and your pet as you prepare for the inevitable passage and separation of death:

• How much pain are you experiencing? 

• Is the pain medication working? 

• Is your quality of life still good? 

• What do you need from me?  

• Have I done enough?

• Do you know you are ill and might be dying?

• Do you know how much I love you? 

• How will I know when you are ready to go? 

Bringing an animal into our homes is often the beginning of a blossoming and contented journey together. Saying goodbye to this wonderful kinship is the hardest part of the bargain. Engaging in a conversation about death and dying can foster more clarity and peace for humans and animals alike.

The day had finally arrived. After selecting a puppy from the photos the breeder provided, Joy and her husband Brad drove two hours to meet who they hoped would be their forever companion. 

Joy had wanted a Golden Retriever for as long as she could remember. When the pandemic required that she work from home, it seemed the perfect time to adopt. And there he was, Buddy, the eight-week-old Golden Retriever with the small, white spot on his forehead. 

On the trip home from the breeder, Buddy laid quietly on Joy’s lap. She smiled as she held his furry body, imagining the many happy years they would share.  

Joy had prepared well before bringing Buddy home, reading books, watching videos on raising a puppy, and consulting with a dog trainer. She bought a crate, puppy treats and pads, toys, a leash and collar, and a soft, cuddly bed. She anticipated many interrupted nights ahead as Buddy grew and adjusted to his forever family. 

With a fenced yard and other dogs in the neighborhood, Buddy settled into a routine that included playtime and socializing with other dogs and people. Joy scheduled at-home training sessions for Buddy. She hoped he would learn the basics of being a happy, well-adjusted puppy—responding to commands, getting in and out of a car, and walking on a leash. Every trip to the store included purchasing new dog items: toys, high-quality pet food, expensive bones and chews, beds, car seat covers, harnesses, and pretty collars. She wanted Buddy to be happy in his new home. 

As fall turned into winter, Joy felt proud that they never missed a walk no matter what the weather, sometimes taking two or three walks a day. Buddy enjoyed walking with a stick in his mouth (especially one he had found buried beneath the snow). 

In quiet moments together, Buddy would drape himself across Joy’s lap as they snuggled together on the couch. He would look into her eyes and lick her face—puppy love!

But, there were bumps along the way. Buddy chewed up a pair of Joy’s glasses, gnawed on her grandmother’s rocking chair, pulled books off the shelf, and stripped veneer from the china cabinet. Buddy feared going downstairs to sit with her and Brad as they watched T.V., resisted getting in and out of the car, and did not want to go upstairs at nighttime. Joy understood this as typical puppy behavior and took it all in stride. She hoped to resolve these behaviors in time with the support of the trainer. But soon, normal puppy behavior gave rise to more puzzling and concerning events.

At times Buddy growled, lunged, and snapped at Joy, tearing holes in her jeans, grabbing her sweater from behind, and ripping the side of her winter coat. She wondered if this was normal.

When she contacted me for a consultation, the love between Buddy and Joy was evident. During our session, Buddy shared that he wanted to be a supportive dog for Joy and Brad, yet also had a lot of energy and didn’t know how to contain it: He was “Growing up as fast as he could.” 

He wanted Joy to focus on their bond and not worry if they were doing things perfectly. Joy wondered if Buddy liked his name, and he shared that he was open to a name change, something that reflected the “bigness” that he felt was his essence. 

We also discovered in this initial session that the weaning process had been difficult for him. He shared an image with me of spending time alone in a dark kennel and the feeling that if he were a better dog, he would not have been abandoned. This experience left him vulnerable to acting out with aggression, which is not uncommon in both humans and animals who experience a disruption in developing a secure bond. “Would he grow out of this? Could she do something better?” she wondered. 

Joy said that the first session was transformational and that Buddy’s behavior shifted. He allowed her to brush him, came when called, and laid his head on her leg for the first time. 

But his behavior regressed soon after—he refused to get into the car and resisted her commands. 

Joy admitted that she felt afraid of Buddy when he became aggressive, how his behavior reminded her of a childhood experience with an aggressive dog. She contemplated the months they had spent training and said he was a “good dog” maybe 80% of the time, but the other 20%of the time, he was unpredictable and aggressive. On one winter walk, Buddy pulled hard on his leash. Joy fell on the ice and bruised her hip. This prompted her to begin looking at resources for rehoming him as she continued to work with him, knowing that if he bit her that would be the time to let him go. 

At the end of another walk, Buddy pulled hard on the leash again. Joy collapsed as she heard her knee pop. She called me in tears, wondering if she needed to see a doctor. Buddy communicated that he knew he was causing Joy stress and couldn’t promise that he wouldn’t do this again. When he pulled her sideways on a walk the next day, Joy said she fell several times as she tried to get up, still hurting from her injuries on their previous walks. 

Joy realized after talking with a friend that her life was becoming unmanageable: Her sleep was affected, and she was having difficulty focusing on her work. Most concerning, she was becoming increasingly fearful of Buddy’s behavior. 

She had him neutered as soon as he was old enough. On another walk soon after, he pulled her again, and she fell flat on the pavement, sobbing at the realization that she could no longer keep him. She contacted the breeder, who came and picked him up the next day. 

We had a brief final communication session on the day Buddy left, and he told Joy that he was worried that if he were to stay in her and Brad's home, the stressful dynamics between them might sever their bond. He didn’t want that to occur, nor did he want his legacy to be that Joy would close her heart to adopting another dog in the future.

Buddy quickly found a new home on a farm where the one-year-old resident Golden is his half-brother. From the photos Joy has received, Buddy, who has been renamed, looks happy, and Joy’s injuries are healing. 

There is loss, Joy has told me, of Buddy himself, and of the years they might have had together. The house is quieter now, and she reflects on how they forever touched each other’s lives as they move forward on different paths. 

Joy has shared that the biggest challenge for her now is the shame she feels, having heard that “There are no bad dogs, only poorly trained ones.” Though any relationship ending brings up questions, in the domain of human and animal connections, animals also make choices within the conditions that we humans provide them. Some animals either can’t or aren’t willing to change their behavior, and if they are, sometimes need more support to do so than their humans can provide. Recognizing the gap between the pets we want and the pets we may have, presents a difficult choice. Letting an animal go is never easy and sending them forth with love is a generous and caring option. 

Thank you, Joy and Brad, for sharing your and Buddy’s story. 

This is Part 4 in my series on adopting a new animal friend.

Judith and her 15-month-old Tibetan Terrier Percy were in crisis. “He escalates,” she said, “and becomes aggressive to the point of biting … I need to keep him in a pen in a separate room.” Between pauses, she stifled tears.

Judith called me that day to schedule an initial session for herself and Percy. She had gotten my name from a therapist specializing in animal grief and loss. She admitted that though she was skeptical of meeting with an animal communicator, she was at a critical juncture: meeting with me was the last resort. If Percy’s erratic behavior didn’t improve–she had to consider euthanizing him. 

 That was eight years ago.

Her commitment to Percy transcended companionship; it was spiritual. She considered Percy–as she had with his five Tibetan Terrier predecessors, Snus, Molly, Babe, Ben, and Blossom–as gifts from the Dalai Lama. His lineage held much promise as did his registered name, “Grace’s Little Possibility.” 

Judith got Percy from a reputable breeder at eight weeks old and soon after bringing him home she realized he was a “special needs boy.” He was anxious and distracted, fearful of noise and bright lights, with a limited ability to focus on tasks or make eye contact. He didn’t like to be touched and was unable to express affection. Due to these limitations, he was not able to complete three puppy training classes, and at just over a year old, Percy’s biting turned into aggressive behavior. His escalations were often delayed responses to stimulation, such as a noisy car. Even the sound of leaves in a strong wind could set off a reaction. 

Prior to our meeting, she had taken him to an animal behaviorist who had prescribed four medications for him. Though this helped to mitigate Percy’s aggression, he struggled with side effects.  Being sedated did not allow for the connection that Judith knew was possible. It was also not the quality of life that she wanted for Percy. 

Due to Percy’s erratic behavior, we met for our initial session by phone. Judith learned that Percy felt shame at not being able to control his behavior and that he had a willingness and desire to grow. His plea for Judith? “Help me heal.”

This was the turning point for Judith. She committed to working with the challenges Percy presented. He became calmer, something I see often when animals have a chance to communicate and, like humans, “feel heard."

Many of Judith’s family and friends knew the road would be difficult. They didn’t understand her decision to keep Percy and thought she should euthanize him. Even as I shared their concern for Judith’s safety I can now appreciate even more what a drastic step this was for her to contemplate. She was in her early seventies then and managing him physically while staying safe was a daunting task. But armed with the insight from our session, she persisted. Our second session was in person at their home. 

Percy’s challenges seemed to stem from a genetic disposition akin to autism in humans, which made him reactive to stimuli. He also suffered from birth trauma as the last born: he was delivered a full two hours after the rest of the litter. Physically he was on hyper-alert; emotionally he held shame and grief; mentally, he was sharp and eager to learn. We began his healing by building on this awareness as well as on his strengths, including his fervent desire to support Judith rather than cause her stress.

Judith continued to see progress and asked if I would be willing to meet with her and Percy monthly. I agreed and over time she gathered a team of other professionals. An important component for success was the extent to which each professional working with them was willing to genuinely connect with Percy and attune to his particular needs, rather than perceive him as a problem needing to be solved.

Percy’s progress was both gradual and visible. He became willing and able to be touched by a chiropractor to help reduce the heightened reactivity in his nervous system. Additionally, he was receptive to the recommended changes in his new diet. His groomer took extra time with him, making sure there was no radio blaring, and that only one or two other dogs were present. The vet and her staff also worked gently with Judith and Percy’s unique needs. Each step supported the next one, even as there were setbacks along the way, with Percy’s escalations occurring at times. Still, they continued to make progress and Judith eventually enrolled Percy in obedience classes at Petco, many one-on-one, where he showed off his “smarts” and enjoyed socializing. 

Four years ago marks another turning point on their journey when Judith hired a remarkable, highly skilled in-home trainer. The trainer has worked firmly, gently, and patiently with Percy, providing him with a strong sense of structure and support. Judith shared with me that “The trainer really gets him, Percy adores her, and considers her his best friend.” This training is ongoing, including scheduled walks 2-3 times weekly. 

Judith and Percy’s transformative journey has been fruitful as well because Judith has been willing to grow too. Her efforts to reflect on issues that have arisen through their struggle, gather a team, ask questions and learn what she can, have strengthened their bond immensely. They have both evolved through their process together.

Percy is nine years old now and no longer needs medication. He, Judith, and I meet less frequently and our sessions are more about checking in. Judith tells me Percy has become more affectionate as they enjoy their lives together, with Judith singing to Percy, something he has always loved as much as his peanut butter treats! Percy likes being able to support Judith with a steady and loving presence. Percy’s escalations, though still possible, have not occurred in many years.

In knowing them I am moved by the extraordinary capacity of how our lives, whether human or animal, can be changed through genuine connection and relationship with one another. In her own words Judith writes:

“You do not have to be an expert in the healing process — kindness and patience have taken me and Percy a long way. If you love an animal and he/she loves you in return, never give up — believe in your ability to love one another. Gathering a support system around us has been Percy’s and my biggest accomplishment, one which has made all the difference — no one can do this healing process alone.“

Thank you Judith and Percy for sharing your story!

This is Part 3 in my series on adopting a new animal friend into your life.

It's no surprise pet adoptions have increased since the start of the pandemic. In fact, some shelters have no animals left to adopt! COVID-19 has changed life as we know it. We human beings are living through daily uncertainty regarding our health, the health of our loved ones, not knowing how long this pandemic may last, not knowing what the economic impact may be, and how life will be on the other side of it. The companionship of our animal friends can provide a lifeline during this socially distant time. 

This is good news! With people staying at home, there is more time to develop what promises to be a lasting bond between humans and their newly adopted animal companions. At the same time, the higher stress levels we face may prompt us to choose an animal that is not a good fit. We may choose an animal with special needs. I define a special needs pet as an animal that requires support beyond the normal expectations of pet care. A special needs animal may not be able to provide the type of support we seek.

The truth is that we not only choose pets we can care for, but animals that can care for us as well. In general, people look for animals to meet their needs for emotional and physical support, for service, entertainment, show competitions, as co-workers, jogging partners, and trail riding companions. Providing care for an animal that is not able to meet our goals can be a source of stress rather than the anticipated support and happiness that animals often provide

Most humans don't intentionally search for an animal who needs extra care, and for people who find themselves responsible for a pet who requires more than they can give, the first step is to acknowledge this fact. Only in recognizing and letting go of expectations does it become possible to have a better understanding of the particularities and needs of a higher maintenance animal friend. 

The next step is to discern what is best. This includes an honest look at the extra time that may be required for training, additional medical expenses regarding a chronic health issue, as well as tolerance and manageability relative to any unwanted behaviors. 

I often hear from people who have committed to keeping their special needs animal companions. They share their frustrations, questions, and how these relationships have helped them grow. These clients are often surprised by the capacity of their animals to grow, and in some cases, to heal. Still, others have processed with me the difficult realization of needing to let go of their special needs pets. 

I believe that any animal that comes into our lives has something to teach us. There is a lesson with each of these experiences and decisions. In a future blog post, I will share some of these stories, but for now, here is a list of things to consider when adopting:

• Whether adopting a rescue animal or purchasing from a breeder, find out as much as you can about your prospective animal companion. It's easy to experience love at first sight, yet the more you know, the better prepared you will be.

• Research the breed you are drawn to and find out what its genetic traits are, including what it was originally bred for, common health issues, and grooming needs.

• Animals that have been neglected and traumatized have more needs, especially during the first six months to a year of being re-homed.

• Animals that were weaned too early often develop behavioral issues that may need to be addressed with professional support. If you are purchasing a pet from a breeder, research the recommended period for weaning and inquire about the breeder's practices. 

• A pet is a lifelong commitment, and there are many wonderful resources available to support this shared journey. If you find that you have more stress from caring for your pet than you can easily or safely manage, call on the help you need to make a clear decision about the next steps. 

• Many breeders, shelters, and rescue organizations know that not every adoption will be a good fit. Check in with them about their policies before adopting and whether they will take an animal back into their care, or help you to re-home your pet if the need arises.

See part 4 in my blog series. Who is Adopting Whom?: Adopting a Special Needs Animal–Judith and Percy's Story.

This is Part 2 in my blog series about bringing animals into your life.

When adopting a pet most of us have an idea of the kind of pet we would like, ideally a well-behaved and well-adjusted animal companion that loves us unconditionally, one that is able to adapt to whatever lifestyle we have. Certainly this outcome is possible, yet it takes time, especially with animals who have been abandoned and traumatized.  While viewed as an admirable choice, adopting a rescue animal can also be a challenging one as more time is required to develop a bond and fully enjoy one another. 

From the animal’s perspective, the process of being given up combined with the uncertainty of what will happen next is highly stressful. Some animals have been in situations where they knew they might be euthanized. Some have spent time moving between different foster families before they found forever homes. Regardless of whether you adopt your pet through a shelter or rescue organization, you can expect a period of adjustment. While there is no clear answer as to how long it may take for your newly adopted rescue pets to adapt to their new homes, a period of at least six months to a year is not uncommon and sometimes an animal needs up to two years to fully adjust.

In sessions I’ve had with rescue animals, a common thread is the experience of grief about the loss of familiar people and animals they knew. There is often confusion about why they were given up, and shame that they were not lovable. If they were abused before being rescued, they may have symptoms of PTSD, which often presents as increased anxiety, aggression or withdrawing. They may also have anxiety that the same thing will happen again. Because they don’t have words to articulate their experiences they can only act out this process in some way. 

Fortunately, animals are both resilient and forgiving! I have seen many positive changes in rescue animals when they have felt heard and understood by their human families. At the same time, some animals’ wounds may always be acted out in some way due to the traumatic imprinting of their nervous systems. As an example, even if your pet “knows” you are going to return at the end of a work day, they may still exhibit anxiety that they cannot control. Some animals may need medication, bodywork, more structured routines, etc. to support their needs, depending on their personalities and past history. There are experiences too where it becomes clear that a newly adopted rescue is not a good fit with a given family. Recognizing this is an important step and helping the animals with their transition back to the rescue organization or the shelter can be a difficult but caring act.

In summary, if you have recently adopted a rescue pet or are considering adopting one, here are a few things to keep in mind: 

• Rescue animals need ample time and space to adapt to their new homes. Most of them come into our homes with “baggage.” 

• Keep in mind how PTSD and shame from any previous neglect or abuse may be    impacting their behavior. If your cat is hiding under the bed, or your dog is growling when startled, it is likely a stress response and not a personal response to you or your home. 

• As humans, we have the capacity to articulate our experiences and thus make sense of them. We can share this ability with our adopted rescue pets. We can literally talk to  them, letting them know that we are aware of their need to grieve, adjust and adapt to their new environments, that it’s not easy and we care about them.

• Take things a day at a time. You and your rescue pet are on a learning curve, each  finding out what the other needs. Give yourself and your pet ample doses of time,  patience and reassurance. 

• Call on the resources you need from family, friends and professionals, let yourself be  supported and open to learning. You don’t need to (and won’t!) do things perfectly.  Remember, animals are resilient and forgiving!

See part 3 in my blog series. Who is Adopting Whom? --- Bringing an animal home: Pets with special needs.

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]]>Jennifer MooreWed, 30 Oct 2019 18:40:11 +0000https://www.dearhuman.pet/blogpage/2019/10/30/who-is-adopting-whom-nbsp-part-i-things-to-consider-when-bringing-an-animal-into-your-life5b29e7411137a6414c37fe0e:5b8198414fa51af3faf3ca31:5db9d57af670f63ed4a2b551This is Part 1 in my blog series about bringing animals into your life.

We human beings are fortunate that there are animals who want to spend their lives with us! Indeed, it can be very gratifying to bring an animal into our lives and finding the right match is an important first step. We humans have expectations and needs that we bring to the relationship, whether it is a cat that needs to use the litter box or the dog we don’t want chewing on our shoes. I’d like to give voice to the needs and experiences that animals bring into their relationships with us. 

A story from my own experience: after my dog Casey died in 2017 of ill health and old age, his absence left a void. The summer after he died, I drove out to the humane society when I saw a photo online of one of their adoptable dogs named Jax. With his  brown and white face, and perked up ears he looked very smart and interested in the world. He was three years old and I wanted to meet him. 

When I arrived at the shelter and saw Jax’s slim 40 pound frame slumped on an old blanket in his kennel, my heart sank. He stared ahead when I called to him and I felt like I just wanted to get him out of there. Because he was not responding, I decided to give him space and walked around to meet the other available dogs. After patting some of their heads, and reading their bios, I eventually made my way back to Jax’s pen. I smiled when I saw that he was standing and wagging his tail. I held my hand to the gate so he could sniff out what information he needed about who I was.  

One of the shelter volunteers came over and suggested I spend time with Jax in an outdoor pen where he eagerly chased an orange tennis ball, bringing it back to me each time to continue the game. I asked to take him on a short walk which we both enjoyed but at the end of our visit together, I noticed that he did not look back at me as he was led back to his kennel. 

Still, I placed a twenty-four-hour hold on him. In the quiet space that followed me home, I had a sense that Jax wanted to be with a family who had children whom he could support growing up. This insight surprised me as I really felt that not only was I looking for the right dog, but Jax was looking for the right human! I called the next day and released the hold. I saw that he was adopted soon after. 

They say, “cats choose their owners” and I have come to believe that when given a choice, other animals do too. Certainly when I went to a “meet and greet” through a dog rescue organization soon after releasing Jax, I felt that my dog Blaze picked me out of the crowd, especially since I had gone with my heart set on another dog! 

With that said, we humans make the ultimate decisions for animals’ lives. The more awareness we have about our needs and what we can offer an animal, the more successful we will be in finding a good match. Some things to keep in mind:

• Know what you can and can’t do. Pets are expensive, taking care of them requires good nutrition, regular vet visits and sometimes special supplements, training or all of the above. Consider the resources you will need in terms of pet caregivers when you are traveling, money, time, physical space and extra attention that my be required.

• Animals are making a choice too, pay attention to their body language

• Give your new pet time to adjust to your home.  Patience is essential for your new pet as well as for yourself.

• For animals who need training such as horses and dogs: find the right balance between training and rest. Rest is an important factor in a successful outcome.

• Reassure your new companion(s) that you are glad for this chance to get to know them and that you will do your best to care for them, either as a new member of the family or in helping them find a better fit. 

Eva, age 11 from the Midwest wondered how animals and people communicate.

Q: Do dogs bark and cats meow to you when they are communicating?

Great question, Eva! Animals don’t use barks or meows or whatever sounds they usually make to communicate with humans, though of course sometimes they do! And they can usually understand what we are saying no matter what language we speak. It’s often how we say something, rather than the words themselves that they understand and respond to. Like us, we can tell by how someone says something to us through voice tone, facial expression, etc. what they want us to understand. Animals too, though they can learn what a few words mean if they’ve been trained, like a dog to “sit” or “stay."

Communicating with animals is like a cartoon strip, where the characters “talk” with thought bubbles. The animal communication works like that where we humans and animals can “read” each other’s thoughts (using telepathy) though sometimes animals also express themselves through a feeling that can be felt, or an image that can be seen like we get when we're having dream, rather than with our eyes.

You may already be communicating with your cat. If you suddenly get an idea, or a thought pops into your mind that your cat is outside and you go to the door and there he is, this is not just coincidence. That’s an example of communication that you likely received from your cat as a thought. 

Spiders, (tarantulas in particular), occupy a peculiar position in our cultural imagination and experience. For many of us, they represent a nuisance at best and a creature to be frightened of and repulsed by at worst. I myself had always been afraid of spiders. Though the fear has subsided, I would still rather not have one crawling on my arm! Still the fascination persists as I believe it does for many of us.

Recently, a college professor asked me to communicate with Zelda, the resident tarantula in her biology lab. I was excited by the request as I had never attempted to dialogue with a spider and I wasn’t sure if it was even possible. Although I did not visit Zelda in her lab, I had the pleasure of conversing with her and the professor by phone. 

During our session, I learned several things from Zelda:

●      She can survive without food for weeks and months on end. Those who care for her should not feel disrespected or concerned if she doesn’t eat often. In fact, she didn’t feel hungry at the time we communicated even though she hadn’t eaten for a few weeks!

●      Though she likes attention, she doesn't like being handled physically and does not like it when people tap on the glass of her aquarium.

And while she shared her preferences about diet and physicality, I also sensed a profound sadness from Zelda akin to what I have experienced when meeting an animal that is grieving.

 What I discovered is that she felt a sense of loss for how the world has changed. As if possessing ancestral knowledge via DNA imprinting, she believed that human beings used to have more respect for and relate more with other species of beings. Over the years she has been in the lab, her life has also changed.

Respectful attention sustains her. She likes to be a resource for teaching others about her species and their role in the ecosystem, yet finds that fewer people notice she is there. Zelda is aware of when she is being objectified as a subject of study or ignored altogether. She lamented that the world is becoming more digital and this has caused people to become distracted and much less interested in relating to the world around them.

In their book Medicine Cards: The Discovery of Power through the Ways of Animals, authors Jamie Sams and David Carson describe the spider as the being who gave humans the gift of the alphabet: “Spider wove the web that brought humans the first picture of the alphabet. The letters were part of the angles of her web.” (Bear and Company, 1988, Santa Fe, NM, Chapter 43, p. 209).

How amazing to realize that one can converse with a spider, and the wisdom Zelda holds about life really surprised me as well as her capacity for emotion. It seems fitting that my first blog shares insights from a tarantula.

In my practice, I continue to learn that all beings have intelligence and communicate in some way. How remarkable that a spider has wisdom and something important to teach if we honor her life and her experience of being.