Blog To Be Named Later

Live Blog: Patriots versus Bills

2010-09-26T13:09:00.004-04:00

This is a new experiment at the blog, I am going to write a live diary of the game. We'll see how it goes.

1:05 - Thanks CBS for your excellent coverage. Nothing like watching commercials instead of the opening kickoff.

1:09 - Patriots defense on their heels already, giving up some big runs, especially to Marshawn Lynch. Not the best start for them. Patriots can't make the Bills look like the Saints.

1:12 - McCourty with the breakup, the rookie has been the best defensiveback so far on the Patriots this season. A fieldgoal is forced, I would have preferred to see a better effort to start off this game from the defense.

1:18 - Congratulations to #39 Danny Woodhead for making the active squad and getting some playing time. We all have to be Woodhead fans after watching him in Hard Knocks.

1:19 - Aaron Hernandez end around. this kid is a match up nightmare. A WR/TE is a hard player to find. He is going to always get either a linebacker or the 4th or 5th best CB covering him, and it'll be in his favor.

1:23: Moss.

1:36: Interesting to see Edelman line up at the RB position in the shotgun. Perhaps he will be used in the pass catching role in an attempt to replace Kevin Faulk.

1:45 - Mayo with the sack. He is flying around to the ball today. Would be good to see him blitz more.

1:55 - Brandon Tate not eliciting confidence from Brady with the bad fumble. Let's see how the defense reacts.

2:01 - Bills take the lead off of the turnover. New England is going to have a tough time covering the 14.5 point spread to say the least.

2:08 - Danny Woodhead with his first career NFL touchdown. Great running drive for the Patriots in response to the Bills' score.

2:18 - Patriots defense still on their heels and getting pushed around. Fitzpatrick definitely provides a spark Trent Edwards could not.

2:25 - Brady seems more focused on spreading the ball around today. Good throws to Hernandez, Welker, and Tate so far. Great 24 second drive to score 3 points and get Gostkowski off the schneid after 3 consecutive misses.

2:44 - Moss. Great start to the second half with a good quick touchdown to Moss. Strong throw from Brady, the kind of thing we came to know and love from 2007.

2:48 - Sloppy, sloppy, sloppy. Kick coverage has to make a stop on that play. Just as momentum is in New England's favor, a Buffalo return for a 95 yard score to steal momentum back.

3:01 - Clutch open field tackle by Pat Chung to prevent the first down and force an eventual 51 yard FG miss by Ryan Lindell. Patriots hang on to the lead.

3:08 - One thing about BenJarvus Green-Ellis: though he may not have the straight line speed of the traded Laurence Maroney, when he is hit he always falls forward.

3:11 - Gronked. That man is made for the red zone. Defense needs to make some stops.

3:19 - Rookie LB Cunningham forced the bad throw by Fitzpatrick which resulted in an important interception by Chung. Good to see someone who Belichick actually drafted to rush the passer succeed in doing so.

3:25 - SeaBass, Sebastien Vollmer, was taken out and replaced at RT. Hopefully the future starting left tackle comes back soon, the offensive line has done very well today.

3:30 - Patriots are in total control right now. Evidenced by Brady's mental wherewithal to wait until the play clock was down to 1 second before calling a timeout. Another score puts this out of reach.

3:41 - Devin McCourty is proving to be quite a solid open field tackler. Belichick likes his corners to be competent tacklers.

3:43 - The problem with the young defense: they blew the chance to potentially seal the game on 3rd and 6, and eventually yield the touchdown. A championship quality defense makes the stop there to crush the opponent and end it right there and then.

3:45 - Cool hair, Steve Johnson. Celebration was kind of funny too.

3:49 - Offense shooting themselves in the feet; 1 play resulting in 2 penalties and 1 sack. All it takes is a first down to win this thing.

3:52 - Let's see if the defense can play some ball and win this thing.

3:53 - Brandon Merriweather with the play of the game, huge interception to squelch the comeback chance.

4:03 - Another classic case of Law Firm falling forward, getting the first down, and winning the game.

4:05 - Patriots rebound from the bad Jets loss with a high scoring win. Good to see Moss involved, a strong rushing attack of over 200 yards, and Brady made some great decisions. Defense needs to tighten up, they let up 30 on the NFL's worst offense. When they face teams like Indy, Baltimore or even the Jets again, the chances of them dropping 38 on them will be slim. The young guys need to learn up quick.

Well that's what I got for my running diary of the game. It was fun to write down observations of the game. Maybe I'll do it again next week.

RAAAAANND University

2010-09-16T17:12:00.002-04:00

So there has been much a hullabaloo about this Randy Moss complaining about his contract thing this week, and I decided to deliver my most important perspective you will ever read on this subject to lay it to rest. No one can doubt that Randy has a certain lack of tact that Mr. Bill Belichick might prefer in his football players, the way, say Tom Brady has, but when you cut through the horrible timing of the complaints, you realize maybe he should get what he wants.

When the Patriots signed Tom Brady to his extension just before the season, they secured him for what should be the rest of his prime. By the time the contract is finished he will be 37 years old, and it just so happens to be the same rumored time Belichick's deal expires as well. The two contracts seem synchronized for a four year shot at dominance. Randy Moss is the same age as Brady. I see no reason in not appeasing him and having on board for the ride. A receiver as talented and as unique as he is a once in a generation type player; Moss will still be able to help the team, even at 34, 35, 36 years old.

Moss wants to be here. This is the first team he has been on that has a competent coach and quarterback, who can consistently win and make him happy. Randy even took a pay cut to stay on the team. He could have left the Patriots of the Eagles for more money but he chose to stay in New England at end of 2007. He seems to be an incredibly insecure person. When he was up on the podium he reminded me of a boy trying to tell a girl he liked her, but in his nervousness and in the process of over thinking, he just blurted out nonsense and dug himself into a hole when he finally got a chance to speak . By the end of the confernce you could see the sweat beading up on his forehead. It sounds ludicrous but Randy just wants to be wanted.

As for the Patriots, they should pull out the stops and go after Lombardi number four. The fourth trophy would separate them from the Cowboys of the 90s, the Giants and Redskins of the 80s, and put them into all time status with the 49ers and Steelers. From a historic standpoint they are just on the cusp of G.O.A.T. and are outside looking in.

They have acquired 24 players in the last 2 drafts and are awash with young talent. I don't know how many more drafts you can have with it just being 3 second rounders, 3 third rounders and 5 6th rounders and hope some value is there. I hope they decide to go after the few solid top tier players that can have an immediate impact.

They have a set deadline, four years, and in that time the Patriots should go after their championships before teams like the Jets, Ravens, Colts overtake them. Give Randy his money. He is well liked on his team, even if he lacks a sensitivity to the situation he is in. A happy Moss will play many times better than a disgruntled one.

The Albert Haynesworth Complex

2010-09-08T01:40:00.002-04:00

As inevitable as the bright green leaves of summer turning to red, orange, yellow and brown each year, is the annual fat-defensive-lineman-showing-up-out-of-shape saga at NFL training camps. Each season head coaches require their players to run conditioning tests which usually involved wind sprints on the field of a certain distance under a certain time threshold, depending on position. Coaches around the league justify this as a minimum physical requirement to be able to withstand the rigors of the hot summer practices, and the games to follow. Players who cannot pass the test do not get to practice with their teammates. Players who do not practice with their teammates do not get to play; which means no game checks.

One might think there was an incentive for Mr. Albert Haynesworth to be able to pass his physical upon showing up at Redskins Training camp 3 weeks ago. Going into his second year of his 6 year, $100 million contract, one would think he would want to prove his worth after being so vastly overpaid. When new head coach Mike Shanahan took over the team last winter he wanted to switch the defense from a 4-3 alignment (4 down defensive linemen, 3 linebackers behind them) to a 3-4 (3 down defensive linemen and 4 linebackers), which Haynesworth believed would restrict his playmaking ability. He promptly called for a trade and skipped mandatory offseason workouts in protest.

When July rolled around and players were showing up for camps, Shanahan declared that Haynesworth had to pass a special conditioning test to prove he stayed in shape during the offseason since he refused to train with the team. The test involved 6 50 yard dashes that needed to be completed in 2 minutes, with a 3 minute break between another round of 6 50 yard dashes. Albert was unable to complete the test on his first try; or his second, third, or fourth. After taking a few days off because of an ankle injury, he finally completed the test, after missing a week of camp.

A permanent rift has been created between player and team because of the ordeal, and the end result will probably not be clean. The missed practices and preseason games will start Haynesworth off at a disadvantage and may affect him for the entire season.

Can this man run 300 yards?

New England Patriots defensive lineman Ron Brace is currently in his second year of the NFL, and after a poor rookie season the young player came into camp needing to assert himself to keep his roster spot. Upon showing up he failed his conditioning test for over a week. For a young player with much to prove a failed conditioning test is devastating.

Can this man eat 300 hotdogs?

The odd thing is these players are massive and fat. How can they keep their massive sizes and weights while still retaining the ability to run several hundred yards? These athletes are some of the most unique specimens in

the world. They are capable of short, quick bursts of speed and strength that can only last a few short seconds. To see them completely gassed on the field, sweat dripping off their faces, fat bouncing as they run, is a strange sight. A fat man who can run 600 yards in only a few minutes is almost oxymoronic.

Shaquille O’Neal: NBA Legend, Entertainer, Newest Boston Celtic

2010-08-12T16:48:00.000-04:00

A press conference was held Tuesday, making it official that Shaquille “Shaq, Shaq Fu, The Big Twitterer , Manny Shaq-iaou, The Big Deporter, Wilt Chamberneazy, The Big eQuotatious, The Big Maravich, M.D.E (Most Dominant Ever), The Big Baryshnikov, The Big Agave, The Big Galactus, The Real Deal, Witness Protection, Diesel, Shaq Daddy, The Big Felon, The Big Field General, Shaqovic, The Big IPO, Shaq-tus, L.C.L .(Last Center Left), Dr. Shaq, Osama Bin Shaq, The Big Banana, The Big Aristotle” O’Neal has signed with the Boston Celtics. This news could not have made me happier.

Red Auershaq with his Number 36 Jersey

As I mentioned in a previous post about sports nicknames, I spent my sports-loving youth in the ‘90s which is of course a great contributor in my adoration for Shaq Diesel. He won me over, along with the rest of America, as the most dominant center in the NBA for that entire decade, slamming on fools, rapping, and starring in movies. Now in the 19^th season of his Hall of Fame NBA career, The Big Nickname is taking on a new role for his 6^th team. This role will most likely be a limited one compared to his previous 18 years, but it appears to be one his is willing to take. Assumedly he will be coming off the bench for Jermaine O’Neal until Perkins is back to full health, but I still would not be surprised if Shaq wins the starting spot in the Pre-Season. The response to this signing has been mostly positive, but there have definitely been some skeptics.

Most critics of this signing warn fans that the Celtics aren’t getting the Shaq of old, but we are getting an old Shaq who doesn’t have the dominant skill he once had. To those critics, I say ‘we know’. The people who are excited about this trade know exactly what the Celtics are getting. We know that the Celtics aren’t getting the Shaq that averaged 30 points and 14 rebounds while playing 40 minutes per game. We also know that we are getting a useful and needed big body, at a minimum salary, who averaged 12 points and 7 rebounds while playing 23 minutes per game last season. Shaq will provide the Celtics with much needed help on the glass, which was a glaring weakness in last season’s playoff run. And despite the fact that he has never really been known for his defense, his massive size can help clog the lane and force teams like the Miami Heat to take lower percentage shots from the perimeter.

Shaq in his starring role as Kazaam

Outside of the world of basketball, Shaq is a great acquisition, for the fans. This guy is just a pure entertainer. In his 19 NBA seasons he has released 5 studio albums as a rapper, acted in 11 movies (3 of which he starred in), starred in a fighting video game (Shaq Fu), became a police officer, and is currently the star of his own TV show (Shaq Vs.). This means that at the very least O’Neal’s time in Boston will be entertaining. I am excited for The Big Shamrock for all these reasons and more. Besides, I am sure he will give me plenty to write about.

I will leave you with this great music video:

A-Rod's 444 career home runs.

2010-08-04T16:05:00.007-04:00

The writers at the most important sports blog ever written would like to congratulate Alex Rodriguez on 444 career home runs. This is a truly remarkable feet, leaving him 56 away from the famous 500 milestone and 156 from 600. He might some day reach the hallowed mark of 600, but with only 4 members existing in the club, Aaron, Mays, Ruth, and Griffey Jr, history is not on his side.

After 444 home runs A-Rod has a stiff neck.

Brett Favre Retires For The… Yawn… Fourth Time

2010-08-04T15:53:00.000-04:00

The hall of fame career of Brett Favre may have finally come to an end today as sources within the Vikings have reported his ankle was not healing the way he hoped and has to call it quits. Although the report has yet to be confirmed by coach Brad Childress or even Favre himself, we can take the chance to review his heralded career and compare him to other current and past greats.

Favre’s Stats (1991-2009 Seasons)


Favre throws picks in his Wranglers.

Rating: 86.4

Completion Percentage: 62.0

Yards: 69,329

Touchdowns: 497

Interceptions:317

Championships: 1

MVPs: 3

Teams Held Hostage Because of Retirements: 3

Favre’s statistics are impressive, if not great, holding all time records in yards, passing touchdowns, pass attempts, pass completions, interceptions and consecutive games started. He is a sure fire hall of famer who is in the discussion of greatest quarterback of all time. All this being said, I still believe he was overrated, and in the 2000s, I would have taken Tom Brady and Peyton Manning over him to play on my team.

From 2000-2009 Favre won a total of 3 playoffs games and in that time, set the record for most interceptions thrown during a single playoff game (6). Fittingly, his final throw in the pros was a back- breaking interception thrown across his body during what would have been a game winning drive in the 2009 NFC Championship game. The Vikings were within field goal range and were merely trying to burn more clock and get into better position. The opposing Saints were able to intercept his forced throw, run out the clock, win the coin toss in overtime, and end it with a field goal. Favre, forcing the ball as he ran to his right all the way across the field to his left, into coverage, was an example of his “gun slinger” mentality and how it was a double-edged sword.

Favre will forever be one of football’s most prolific statistical passers, having taken pretty much all the records Dan Marino had to his name. I believe greatness is still measured in Super Bowls first, then statistics second. The same argument applies to the Montana vs. Marino debate of the 1980s, or even Brady vs. Manning. Marino had the records, Montana had the rings. Montana is better. Of course Montana was no slouch in stats either.

To me the most egregious crimes Brett committed were his constant retirements. Starting in 2005 Favre began talking of hanging up the cleats. He claimed he had nothing left in the tank, and would have to take some time to decide on his future. His indecision prompted the Packers to invest their first round draft choice on Aaron Rodgers , a quarterback. Favre returned for the 2005 season, and repeated his antics in 2006, where he even announced retirement. This forced Green Bay to prepare Rodgers to become the starter and adjust their plans, only to have Brett return in the summer. He would continue the trend until the summer of 2008 when Green Bay finally had enough and declared Rodgers their permanent starter. They then traded Favre to the New York Jets just a week before the regular season began.

After an unremarkable season in New York which saw a second half collapse and missed playoffs, he decided to call it quits again and was out right released by the Jets. Another offseason of speculation ensued on the sports networks, driving America insane, and Brett eventually was swayed to join the Minnesota Vikings, the arch-nemesis of the Packers. Having successfully destroyed the hearts and minds of Cheesehead Nation who still worshiped at the First Church Of Brett, he saved his best for last in being the main difference for the Vikes to bring them to the NFL title game.

After a well played game, Brett’s much ballyhooed gunslinger style bit him and his team in the butts with his awful final minute pick. He proceeded to leave the Vikings hanging as to what he planned on doing the following offseason, but with another year in his contract remaining and 13 million dollars due his way most everyone expected his return. Minnesota proceeded to not pay attention to their quarterback position, passing on some enticing prospects in the draft only to be out of luck this August.

Favre’s legacy will forever be tainted with how he ended his career. Leaving Green Bay to bounce around to New York and to the rival Minnesota Vikings will tarnish the image of him holding the Lombardi trophy in Super Bowl 31. In my opinion he got too much support from sports media, and most of his accolades were eventually undeserved. Throwing so many touch downs is great, but games can be directly affected by turnovers in a way touchdowns cannot. As the second decade of his career progressed, his interception woes became so bad one would watch his games waiting for the other shoe to drop. It dropped every season since 2000, and even dropped in the 2009 NFL Championship game, ending what had been a top 3 season in Favre’s career with a thud. Brett will end up in the Hall of Fame, as he deserves to be, but the final few years of his career were just a bit overplayed. I personally, will not miss him.

A lasting image of Brett as a quarterback

Fracas in Fenway

2010-08-04T12:55:00.000-04:00

Things got a little heated last night at Fenway Park between the Sox and the Tribe, most notably Beckett and Shelley Duncan for some reason. Nothing like a good bench clearer, but notice a fiery JD Drew finally showing up 40 seconds in, way after everyone else, including an injured Dustin Pedroia.

Bengals Sign Top Free Agent, Create SuperTeam

2010-07-30T19:33:00.013-04:00

Watch the Ochocinco and T.O. Show, Sundays this Fall on CBS

CINCINNATI, OH – The entire landscape of professional sports, as we knew it, changed dramatically on July 27, 2010 when WR Terrell Owens decided to take his talents to the banks of the Ohio River and sign with the Cincinnati Bengals. The highly touted and sought after free agent decided to join fellow VH1 Reality TV Celebrity/NFL wide receiver Chad Ochocinco and WR Antonio Bryant, making the Bengals some sort of super team, the likes of which have never been seen in any sport. Never before have superstar athletes banded together on one team to form a roster that would more likely appear in a video game than on a football field.

The Bengals brass is understandably excited about the new look of their team, “I don’t see how this season doesn’t end with a Lombardi Trophy for the fine people of Cincinnati” said Bengals Owner and President, Mike Brown. After several minutes of boastful ramblings, Brown later added “You know it’s going to be a special year since T.O. is already talking about popcorn.” These feelings aren’t shared by the people of Buffalo, who Owens spurned in his decision to head to Cincinnati. Almost immediately after T.O.’s announcement, Bills owner Ralph Wilson posted a scathing letter about Owens on the team’s website while the streets of Buffalo were littered with the burning jerseys of their once beloved wide receiver.

Despite all of the controversy surrounding this bold acquisition, sellout crowds are expected to follow the Bengals all season long. The idea of creating a superteam could change the NFL for years to come; I would expect to see more and more All-Pros taking less money to play together for a shot at a ring. Only in football, the ultimate team sport, could you see something like this. One can’t help but laugh when thinking about how such a thing would work with the egocentric superstars of the NBA. Wait, who did the Heat get? Oh.

Man Unsure If Athlete Got New Contract Or Prison Sentence

2010-07-29T18:31:00.005-04:00

After hearing the end of a sports newsflash on the radio, Tacoma resident and casual basketball fan Alan Wood had no idea whether NBA shooting guard Gilbert Arenas had signed a lucrative, multi-million dollar deal with one of the league's thirty franchises, or if he had instead been condemned to a lengthy stay in jail. Wood turned on the radio just in time to hear the broadcaster say "...sources report that Arenas will be looking at four or five years, although both sides say negotiations are not yet complete." Arenas, nicknamed Agent Zero, has averaged 22.7 points and 2.3 guns in his locker per game in his career. "Huh", said Wood.

Cristiano Ronaldo Ready to Put "Team American Idol: International" Failure Behind Him

2010-07-28T00:34:00.008-04:00

MADRID- The Portuguese superstar is nearly ready to start getting over his heartbreak in South Africa. After almost two weeks spent cooped up in his summer villa outside Madrid, Cristiano Ronaldo finally emerged with puffy eyes and unkempt hair to talk to reporters at a Real Madrid press conference. "I don't know how to explain our failure," he told the media. "[The Portuguese National Team] sang beautifully. We lined up in a straight line, just like the judges wanted. Our hair was puh...puh...perfect," Ronaldo sobbed. The crooner/winger admitted that he did not put much effort into the friendly soccer matches the competing singers played after the game, claiming that he was already focused on the next sing-off of national anthems. He did vow to come back with a stronger voice than ever at the Team American Idol: Europe competition in two years time.

Ronaldo was led to the press conference by an even more-exasperated-looking-than-usual Jose Mourinho, who missed his first two weeks as the team's new manager pleading with his most famous player to come out. "I am quite looking forward to the season and working with my new team," grumbled Mourinho, his bloodshot eyes warning reporters not to ask any follow-up questions. When asked how Spain's singing defeat of Portugal would affect the mood in the club's locker room, Spain and Real Madrid captain Iker Casillas seemed confused. "The Spanish national anthem has no words, I thought everybody knew that. We were just happy to win the World Cup."

Spanish players belt out the words to their national anthem

Our Favorite World Cup Moments

2010-07-23T15:53:00.001-04:00

For this post we all decided we would collaborate on a question and see what our answers were. The World Cup having just ended was the obvious topic to focus on. So our prompt was to think of our favorite World Cup moments. This is what we said:

Pablo:

Four agonizingly long years had passed since Fabio Grosso tucked his penalty kick away to hand Italy its fourth World Cup title in a shootout over France. South Africa 2010 was an eternity away.
I waited and waited. I went to college, met some awesome friends there, and we waited together. I remember playing Winning Eleven at 3 AM, talking about how bad we wanted the World Cup. This would have been about early 2007. To my disbelief, the time somehow passed.

After all the anticipation, I was suddenly watching the first kick of a World Cup on African soil- South Africa vs. Mexico as a billion vuvuzelas drowned out the referee's whistle. I feel confident in saying that the whole world, minus Mexico, was rooting for Bafana Bafana. I had wanted the hosts to do well in the time leading up to the tournament, but until the game kicked off I had no idea how badly I wanted them to win.

The yellow shirts had a nervy start, but seemed to grow into themselves as the first half progressed. They started to look dangerous and fast going forward, but still vulnerable at the back. My stomach was in knots (for South Africa!?). Shortly before half time, a brilliant counter attack sliced through the heart of the Mexican midfield and defense, and Tshabalala was in behind on the left side. The fans lucky enough to be at Soccer City Stadium in Johannesburg surely smelled gunpowder after they had regained control of their senses. A cannon of a left foot struck the Jabulani, and after a split-second's wondering where it was going, it exploded into the top right corner of the goal. I screamed GOAL! or YES!, I don't remember which, and jumped around as delight filled my body. Everybody in the room with me did the same, and I know people were joining us all over the world. It was a perfect combination of excitement for the Cup kicking off and wild hope for the hosts.

South Africa had chances to put the game away but failed to take them. Despite giving a good account of themselves, they became the first host nation knocked out in the group stage. The Cup went on to display many other moments of pure drama, heroics, heartbreak, and skill (particularly for USA fans), but for me, watching Tshabalala's shot flash into the net was the best moment of the 2010 World Cup.

Mike Bonetti:

When we few, we happy few, we band of bloggers, decided to make a post about our favorite World Cup moments I realized I had a difficult decision to make. I had to make a choice between USA vs. England and USA vs. Algeria. For me, both games were amazing moments in the 2010 World Cup and helped boost the credibility of US Soccer the world around. Ultimately, I decided that the game against Algeria was my favorite moment of the entire World Cup because we won, and I am American.

It was a win and you’re in, to the Round of 16, situation for the United States, who had high hopes of making it out of the Group stage. The entire match was a real ding-dong battle including an early chance by Algeria that beat Howard, but was turned aside by the crossbar and a disallowed goal by Clint Dempsey, due to a quite questionable offside call. After countless squandered opportunities, where the ball refused to go in the net for the US side, the score was all knotted up 0-0 after 90 minutes.

At this point I am as far on the edge of my seat as you can possibly get and still be considered sitting. As the 4 minutes of stoppage time began Tim Howard saved an Algerian header and the break was on, Donovan barreling down the pitch like a man possessed, gets the ball to Altidore who quickly sends it into Dempsey in front of the net, who is stoned cold by the Algerian keeper. At this point the ball is just sitting there in the box, time standing still; I am now hovering over the edge of my seat. Then the golden boy of US Soccer, Landon Donovan, puts the ball right in the back of the net. I then explode off my seat, pump both my fist and let out a boisterous yell as Landon and the boys pile up in the corner in celebration of a truly iconic moment in the history of US Soccer. And that is how the United States won the World Cup (as far as I’m concerned). USA! USA! USA!

Dan:

What better way to watch 90 minutes of 22 men running around chasing a ball they cannot touch with their hands than to have a monotonous bee-like drone to listen to? The vuvuzela buzzed its way into the international spot light in 2009 during the FIFA Confederations Cup in South Africa, and really became a subject of discussion during this World Cup. The cheap horn became a soccer (or “football” if you’re not American) fan’s best friend during games, allowing him to single handedly deal permanent hearing damage to others nearby with little effort.

Because of the annoying sounds the horn creates, and the speculation that the horns can spread disease by spraying small, virus-carrying spit droplets into the air, many arenas have began banning the horns. The vuvuzela was even blamed for a communication error at a Florida Marlins/ Tampa Bay Rays baseball game that resulted in a pinch hitter going up to bat out of order and being called out.

In June and July when the average American pretended to care about soccer, the vuvuzela was a constant talking point. Late night shows and news broadcasts would mention the vuvuzela before they would talk about the game itself. That brought much needed publicity to the game’s most important tournament.

The redeeming value of the annoying little horn is it brought attention to the game of soccer, albeit slightly dubious attention. If the sport is to ever take hold as a mainstream game in the States, people need to pay attention and watch when the games are on. The vuvuzela had Americans talking about a soccer related topic instead of baseball or basketball. Ratings for the world cup were their highest ever, and one could hope that soccer is poised to finally take hold here. Now Team USA just has to win.

The Way I See It

2010-07-23T00:56:00.011-04:00

The way I see it is that I haven't had a post in quite some time and the world of sports is quite different now. The Saints won their first Super Bowl, we found out Tiger Woods likes sex and a lot of it, Uconn Women destroyed everyone- again, a rapist won another NBA championship, Brett Favre continues to be an asshole, a dream team of basketball scum has been formed in Miami, and a historic sports owner/manager George Steinbrenner's untimely death.

The Saints: The way I see it is that it was a really good thing for the ailing New Orleans to win a Super Bowl. Not much has gone their way in that town and since Drew Brees went there he's been pretty much their only shining beacon of light. Poverty and squalor still reigns supreme in the area but a Super Bowl victory gives the city with the shitty levees hope that they can possibly rebuild their legacy as a city that people actually want to go to. Personally though, the most satisfying part of that Super Bowl was watching Peyton Manning pout his way off the field and into another Sony Commercial.

Tiger Woods: The way I see it is that Tiger Woods likes sex. He likes golf too. I'm guessing he's pretty good at both seeing the amount of chicks that came out of the woodwork calling his name after the news of his car accident surfaced. It shows that even the most seemingly perfect role models and public figures can have a human and flawed side. Everyone rode his back as every tabloid published photos of a new girl that he was inside. People forgot about all of what he's done on and off the course for the sport. Without him the sport would not be where it is today. All the people of my generation who picked up golf, most likely picked up golf because of Tiger. A multicultural athlete who was the youngest to ever win a major and not only won it, but destroyed the competition. It is because of him that every professional course has had to add hundreds of yards to the course to make it more difficult. It's not very often that fat alcoholics like John Daly win anymore. Tiger raised the bar of what it takes to play golf. Personally I think this was the first time anyone could truly connect with Tiger in finding out that he is only human after all.

Uconn Women: The way I see it is that the Uconn Women Basketball team is the best playing college women's basketball.

Lakers NBA Champions Again: Doc River's said that his starting five of Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce, Ray Allen, Rajon Rondo and Kendrick Perkins, have yet to lose a series. This holds true because Andrew Bynum destroyed the knee of Kendrick Perkins in game six of that series which forced the Celtics to come out and have to change their entire game plan, in the last two games. Kendrick Perkins is the best post defender in the league bar none. People don't understand just how important he is to the Celtics as a team. Their defense relies on his play inside the paint and down low. Who else can play one on one with Dwight Howard and shut him down? Nobody. The way I see it is that if Kendrick Perkins stays healthy through the last two games, than the Celtics win banner 18 and the rapist led Lakers go to a pool party at Sasha Vajacic's house.

Brett Favre: The way I see it Brett is that no matter how many touchdowns you throw this season, that is when after you decide to tell everyone that you're coming back, that it won't make those horrendous game losing interceptions look any better.

The Miami Heat: If you previously didn't have an animosity toward a team, you should probably hate the Miami Heat. That is unless you hate freedom, then go right ahead and root for a team of all stars that got together during the off season to put together a mind-game quite like the new Christopher Nolan blockbuster Inception. Stupid long aggravating months of talk between each team and a one hour press conference with Lebron in what looks like the warehouse of a Dunder Mifflin, about how "Difficult" his decision was when he probably made it months before. Who cares Lebron? Sure the broadcast had 10 million viewers, most of them were probably from Cleveland and they want your blood. It was the most egotistical pathetic disgrace to humanity and sports I've ever witnessed that didn't involve Eli Manning winning a super bowl. Now it sucks because I used to appreciate Dwayne Wade, now I have to hate him. Chris Bosh used to be okay too when he played basketball for the Toronto Blue Jays. Or was it the Toronto Dr. Alan Grants? Nobody can be too sure, all I know is that the team sucked and he may has well have not existed. Now he, Lebron, and Wade are the targets of every team in basketball. It's insulting to have a team compared to the dream team in the league and every team will use every bit of their will power to kill them even the Toronto Jurassic Parks, who haven't got a shot in hell. The way I see it Lebron, is that if you wanted to try and play mind games on people, then you should've went the distance like Christopher Nolan did, and held your hour long press conference in a spinning hotel hallway fending off countless security projections of Cillian Murphy's subconscious.George Steinbrenner not being alive: <------ The Way Everyone Sees It

If you have to ask me, the way I see it, the most important thing to happen in sports recently is for Kane to have become the WWE world Champion for the first time since 1998 this past Sunday. For that, I tip my cap to you Kane.

Kevin Durant: Not Your Average Superstar

2010-07-16T22:46:00.002-04:00

It was the 2006-2007 season and my beloved Celtics were in the midst of one of their worst seasons ever. They ended the season with an abysmal record of 24-58, including a record breaking 18-game losing streak. The Celtics had a good shot of getting one of the top 2 picks in the 2007 NBA draft. So I spent most of that season watching college basketball looking to find out more about the top 2 prospects. One of these prospects was a frail old man, who was posing as a 7 foot college freshman at Ohio State, and the other was this skinny kid from Texas who could definitely play some basketball. As it turned out, the Celtics ended up with the 5^th overall pick which they traded for an NBA Championship instead of drafting Yi Jianlian.

Old man Ohio was picked first and with the second overall pick the now defunct Seattle Supersonics chose the skinny kid from Texas, SF Kevin Durant. Durant then went on to average 20.3 points per game on his way to winning the Rookie of the Year award. In his 2 years since receiving the award, and the team moving to Oklahoma City, he has only gotten better. This past season Durant was named the NBA Scoring Champion by averaging 30.1 points per game, scoring 200+ more points than the second place LeBron James. To go along with his scoring title he was also selected to the NBA All-Star team, was named to the All-NBA First Team, and took his very young Oklahoma City Thunder to the playoffs and forced the vaunted LA Lakers to 7 games in only his 3^rd season.

So here you have this player who, judging by his talent, skill, stats and accolades, is a bona-fide superstar in the NBA. But, you wouldn’t know it. You wouldn’t know it mainly because he doesn’t let you know it. For whatever reason this 21-year old millionaire, who is one of the best basketball players in the world, just gets it. It seems as if he understands he doesn’t have to promote himself in order to be a great player, even in today’s “superstar” driven NBA.

On July 7^th Durant signed a 5-year extension to STAY IN OKLAHOMA CITY. Yes, he decided to stay in Oklahoma, got to give him credit for sticking with his team because I know I wouldn’t want to stay in Oklahoma for 5 minutes, never mind 5 years. He made this announcement not by a big press conference, or an hour long special but by a post on his twitter account.

"Exstension for 5 more years wit the #thunder....God Is Great, me and my family came a long way...I love yall man forreal, this a blessing!"

True, it is not the most elegant thing to ever be written but it’s simple, tasteful, and seemingly heartfelt and believe it or not he did not write in the third person.

One day later on July 8th, a caricature of almost all that is wrong with young professional athletes gets ESPN to have an hour long shameless self-promotion to let the world know where LeBron James is ‘taking his talents’. During this insufferable hour of hot air presented by Vitamin Water the world also got to hear other selfless comments like “LeBron James has to do what’s best for LeBron James” and how he has “done a lot for the city and people of Cleveland.”

Non-sense like this just makes me appreciate players like Kevin Durant that much more. What LeBron decided deserved an hour long primetime special, Durant did in 140-characters or less. An athlete showing any semblance of humility goes a long way, because it really is a rarity in today’s pro sports. So I, for one, will continue to cheer for the uncommon, players like the not-self-proclaimed “Durantula” who seem to just do it right.

Death of King George Steinbrenner III Embroils Yankee Empire Into Civil War

2010-07-16T15:26:00.005-04:00

Bronx, New York

Just hours after the Tuesday morning death of King George Steinbrenner III, the sovereign overlord of the Yankee Empire, with lands extending from the neighborhoods of the Bronx, to the barrios of Latin America, to the crowded streets of Tokyo, Japan, his two sons Prince Hank Steinbrenner, and Prince Hal Steinbrenner, both General Managing partners within the organization, began a war for sole possession of the throne.

In what has already been dubbed The War of the Pin Stripes, the armies of Hal Steinbrenner seized control of the late King's summer palace in Tampa, Florida, the final resting place of the deceased King.

"I am the rightful heir to the throne and to the riches of the Yankee Empire," declared the younger Hal atop of his mighty steed while preparing his army in Flushing Meadows. "My spiteful older brother has no capacity to lead an organization and an empire like this."

Forbes Magazine recently listed the value of the New York Yankees as being worth more than a billion dollars in 2010. George Steinbrenner seized control of the Yankees for a mere 8.8 million dollars in 1973.

Hank Steinbrenner, the older and rightful heir to the throne through simple succession, is opposing his younger brother. Hank has declared his younger brother to be nothing more than a "rebel" and a "vagabond" with no true claim to the high throne.

His top soldier claimed early victory in the Battle of Anaheim where his army, led by Captain Derek Jeter seized some of Hal's troops, led notably by Alex Rodriguez, whom Jeter had beheaded on the spot for treason. Hank Steinbrenner declared any other rebel, naming people like "that scum (Jorge) Posada" and "treasonous (Mariano) Rivera" to be drawn and quartered once captured.

The civil war is a bloody end to the relatively peaceful 37 year reign of the previous overlord. The war is leaving Yankee Empire vulnerable to rivals entities including Red Sox Nation, who look for any perceived weakness to strike.

World Cup All-Hair Team

2010-07-13T20:29:00.030-04:00

My behavior since July 11, 2010 has been somewhat controversial at Just Kickin' It! Headquarters (my parents' house).

"Mom, Dad!", I say. "What's the big deal!?"

"You have skipped work for four straight days and have been doing nought but drinking, singing, and dancing in the streets!", They say.

"But Spain won the World Cup!!! All the Spaniards are doing it!!!"

"Maybe they are, but you're not in Spain."

Do they really think that is gonna stop me?

¡VAMOS MI ESPAÑA!
¡VAMOS CAMPEON!
¡LO LO LO LO
LO LO LO LO LO!

The Just Kickin' It! 2010 All-Hair World Cup Team:

Goalkeeper- Guillermo Ochoa (Mexico)

Ochoa is also the recipient of the Just Kickin' It! Worst Commercials-Appeared-in-to-Minutes-of-Soccer-Played-in-the-World-Cup-Award (2,010:0).

Right Back- Bacary Sagna (France)

Sagna's choice of hairstyle was a prize for winning a bet with his father that, as a teenager playing for Auxerre's youth team, he would score against the senior side. You tell him, Bac.

Center Back- Rigobert Song (Cameroon)

He played in the 1994 World Cup. He reminds me of Mufasa. Team Captain.

Center Back- Marcus Tulio Tanaka (Japan)

The São Paolo-born defender (with awesome hair) brought Brazilian flair and awesome hair to a surprising Japanese team.

Left Back- Fabio Coentrao (Portugal)

Actually pretty good at soccer considering how much effort he has put into starting a Portuguese glam metal band. Drummer Cristiano Ronaldo's plans to join have been way laid by an unexpected human baby he made.

Left Midfield- Hassan Yebda (Algeria)

Keep laughing at him. As 3D technology continues to advance, that ball will one day smack you in the face.

Center Midfield- Marek Hamsik (Slovakia)

The Exotic Bird, as he is called by the Slovak fans, poses for the team photo. He knows.

Center Midfield- Cesc Fabregas (Spain)

Dreamy as ever.

Right Midfield- Gervinho (Cote d'Ivoire)

Remember that ESPN commercial with U2 music from the 2006 World Cup where Drogba and the Cote d'Ivoire national team cause a ceasefire in the country's civil war? He's from there. And he has awesome hair.

Striker- Walter Martinez (Honduras)

Walter Martinez is the official 2010 FIFA World Cup player of your bag of Skittles.

Striker- Djibril Cisse (France)

The British Parliament loves when representatives of the nobility feature in the Just Kickin' It! World Cup All-Hair Team. The Lord of the Manor of Frodsham is player-coach. Do yourself a favor and google more pictures of this badass.

Thank you South Africa for an amazing month (I looked for you on the map every time they showed it, Lesotho). Countdown to Brazil 2014 starts very soon, but not quite yet!

A very special guest will be joining the blog soon, keep your eyes here you won't want to miss it!

Hambahni Kahle, amigos.

¡VAMOS MI ESPAÑA!
¡VAMOS CAMPEON!
¡LO LO LO LO
LO LO LO LO LO!

Fine, I wish Cesc still rocked this.

The Last Few Months

2010-07-09T13:28:00.017-04:00

Finally a new collective bargaining agreement has been signed and our work stoppage has ended. It feels like 1994 all over again and I just hope us writers here at the blog don't need to take steroids to get our fans back. I can finally get back to doing what I do best: making observations about professional athletics that are entertaining only to me.

These last few months have seen a lot happen in our world: the Celtics went from old, to young, to old again in the span of 50 days; a popular soccer tournament began and is currently underway; something happened in hockey; baseball began and only has three good teams, all of whom are in the AL East; the Gulf of Mexico was paved over; we re-entered the Cold War with Russia; and some dude from some basketball team decided to play for some other basketball team. That is a lot to happen in a few months, and that is a lot to talk about. I am lazy so I will only mention a few while illuminating those topics with astute perspective and knowledge. As we all know, my point of view is always the right one.

Baseball: The season is at the All Star Break, and as expected, the good teams are where they should be and the bad teams are occupying their roles as doormats. The Yankees will be handed the AL East once again after their trade with the Mariners for the AL's best pitcher, Cliff Lee, is finalized. The Rays attempt to get their acts together after their stumble through June that saw a nice dugout scuffle between B.J. Upton and Evan Longoria while the Red Sox continue to be a strong argument for universal health care. One of these teams will roll through the playoffs and onto the Series, and unfortunately, it look like it will be the Bankees. We hold out hope for the Sox, but they should probably change their name from the Red Sox to the Red Cross.

Basketball: The Boston Celtics were one of the most enigmatic teams of the 2009-2010 season. They managed to change from a team of washed up, careless veterans to a squad of giant killers who came to within 6 minutes of having defeated Dwyane Wade, Lebron James, Dwight Howard, and Kobe Bryant in a single playoffs. It would have been one of the storied franchise's biggest accomplishments but unfortunately injuries and age undid them at the worst time. Going into the Summer of Lebron, the Celtics look for one last shot at a title while the Lakers remain the favorite. As the free agency orgy comes to its messy climax, the Bulls look like the upcomers, and the Hawks look to grow and mature. Both teams have a long way to go but can make a run at the Eastern Conference title if they can get their heads on straight. You heard it hear first (or maybe read, not sure) the Heat will collapse and not make it past the second round. Commence drama in South Beach.

Lebron James: Lebron James does what is best for Lebron James to make Lebron James the Lebron Jamesiest Lebron James to ever Lebron James a Lebron James. He is very humble. Also, no one is allowed to play as the Heat in any NBA videogame now that a videogame version of them has been created in real life. Kind of ridiculous.

Football: The Jets are overrated. Mark Sanchez will have a sophomore slump, and Tomlinson is no upgrade over Thomas Jones. I hate the Jets, Colts, Dolphins, and Giants. Patriots in 2010-2011! Wooo!

Fútbol:BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

A South African Bee Hive.

So that is the past few months in a nutshell. Nothing else happened that is important. I'd like to welcome myself back to the blogosphere, and to send a shout out to Pablo and Bonetti, two hard working contributors to the Most Important Blog Ever Read. Cheers.

Oh and America is still number one, despite their decision to not beat Ghana in the World Cup.

These Colors don't run, they just sometimes lose in extra time to a third world nation.

Poorly Photoshopped NBA Free Agency Frenzy

2010-07-08T21:43:00.000-04:00

So here we are at the culmination of the craziest free agency period in the history of the NBA. Now that Lebron had a useless hour long show, all of the big free agents have officially picked their teams for the 2010-2011 season. So now comes the best part. What is the best part you may ask? Of course the best part is players being photoshopped into their new team's jerseys! So without further ado I present you with the big free agents heads on different people's bodies. I hope you enjoy my photoshop skills.

1. Lebron in Miami:

2. He'll be playing with Chris Bosh who is now in Miami:

3. and D-Wade will still be in Miami: (yes I photoshopped this one too)

4. Now Amare is lonely on the Knicks:

5. Carlos Boozer is cool with being on the Bulls now:

6. Here is what Lebron would have looked like had he gone to NY, NJ or CHI:

7. and the Nets signed Travis Outlaw, the Timberwolves signed Darko Milicic:

Red Sox Mid-Season Report

2010-07-07T10:10:00.000-04:00

As of today July 6, 2010 the Red Sox are 49-35, only 2.5 games out of first in the AL East, facing the 2^nd place Tampa Bay Rays and they are starting 5 players that started the year in the minor leagues or on the bench including starting pitcher Felix Doubront, a 22-yr old lefty with a total of 1 major league start under his belt.

This team has been absolutely plagued by injuries, the likes of which I have never seen. It’s as if a tornado of broken bones and sore muscles came barreling through the clubhouse and left us with a team that would more likely be seen in Pawtucket than it would in Boston. It really is unprecedented how debilitated this team is, and how all the injuries seem to be freak accidents. Losing multiple players to vicious foul tips is never a good sign. And then you have Adrian Beltre, the man whose apparent mission is to destroy Red Sox Left Fielders. Considered yourself warned Daniel Nava, you never know when he will strike, the only advice I can give is let him catch the fly ball.

Yet here we are, despite all of these setbacks, the Sox are still producing and still playing some quality baseball. Boston had 6 or 7(depending on the final vote) players selected to the All-Star team although only 3 of them will be able to play in the game, that is assuming those players do not get hurt (currently knocking on wood). Outside of the injuries the biggest surprise of this season so far has been that this team actually has an offense. Not only does the offense just exist, it’s actually really good. They are leading the league in Runs, RBI, SLG, doubles, and total bases, and in the top 3 in Hits, AVG, OBP, walks, and HR. There are no two-ways about it; this defensive run-prevention team can flat out hit the baseball. Their ability to hit and their starting pitchers are what have kept this team afloat and still in the AL East race.

Of course there are the usual suspects, like great years from Pedroia, Youk and Vic Mart and pitching of Lester, Lackey and somewhat of a surprise All Star season from Buchholz. But their good fortune couldn’t be possible without the impressive performances from the most unlikely of characters including a first pitch of major league grand slam from Nava, and that week long stretch where Darnell Mcdonald couldn’t help but win games for the Sox.

This Sox team is different than the past few years; they are not boring as hell. They actually look like they enjoy playing baseball. David Ortiz is smiling again, and when Big Papi smiles its infectious. And he has plenty of reasons to smile with the All-Star season he has been having. But if you ask me who the MVP of the first have is so far, I would tell you it has got to be Adrian Beltre. Beltre can play some baseball, not only has he shown off his glove with a few web gems, he has been the most consistent hitter on the club. Beltre is also a big part of this team’s ability to have fun and enjoy the game. He is a magnificent clubhouse guy bringing a great energy and sense of humor to the team, just don’t touch his hair.

Given all of the injuries and obstacles this team has to endure, they are not doing too shabby. If the Sox ever get 100% healthy, 2010 could be a real good year for the local 9.

Update: Since writing this article Youk left the game with ‘right ankle pain,’ Beltre fouled a ball off his leg, the bullpen is struggling and the Sox are now 3.5 games down in the East. Oh well, get ‘em next year.

Group Stage Review, SPOILER ALERT!!! Knockout Stage Preview

2010-06-25T22:45:00.004-04:00

Welcome back, loyal readers, I hope you are all enjoying the World Cup as much as I am. The group stage is now behind us, and the real fun begins! The main thing that jumps out at me so far from the group stage is the success that non-European teams have enjoyed. All five South American teams, two of three CONCACAF teams, two of five Asia/Oceania teams, and one African team have advanced to make up ten of the sixteen remaining teams. This provides a stark contrast to the last sixteen of tournaments past. Consider that since the Cup was expanded to a thirty-two-team format in 1998, Europe has provided twenty-nine of forty-eight teams in the knockout stages: ten in 1998, nine in 2002, and ten in 2006. The continent's dominance of the latter stages has been undeniable over that time period, leading many to conclude that the overwhelming preeminence of the European club game and the money that it has generated has widened the gap between the rich (European) and poor (everyone else) nations. It has also been argued that due to the vast financial power of the Champions'League, EPL, La Liga, and Serie A, the World Cup and international soccer has become lessened in importance, becoming a burden for managers and players who make their money in club competition.

The fact that the 2010 edition has been such a global tournament thus far is extremely refreshing for me, and I think the rest of the world would tend to agree. Nowhere else can one find the excitement of Japan vs. Cameroon in a truly competitive setting, a clash of Asian and African flavors. That is why the tournament is so magnificent. It brings together lovers of joga bonita from all corners of the Earth, and the opportunity to witness their different approaches, tactics, skill levels, mentalities, and cultures all while sharing the same core values of soccer will always be breathtaking for me. It is pride, glory, and competition at their finest. The World Cup always has been and always will be the pinnacle of soccer achievement, the grandest stage in the sport. The hunger, commitment, and skill put on display by the rest of the world has shown that this is the most important competition to them as well, and if UEFA wants to focus on its club soccer, everyone else will be happy to send them home early. The South American nations have been particularly impressive and the continent can rightly be applauded for 100% of its participants surviving the group stage.

The United States had a somewhat topsy-turvy experience in Group C, but in the end emerged as deserved winners. The first match was a nervy 1-1 draw with England. Greensides all around, boys. The second match was an incredible, gutsy comeback from two down at halftime against Slovenia to tie, which should have been a victory which would have gone down in World Cup lore as a classic but for some truly bogus refereeing. Knowing that they needed a win in their final match, against Algeria, the U.S. dominated and should have scored numerous times but were thwarted by the post, more bogus refereeing, the goalkeeper, and poor finishing. Meanwhile, England scored in the first half of their match against Slovenia. Had the results remained that way, 0-0 in our game and 1-0 England in the other, we would have been cruelly eliminated. We never gave up though, and in the ninety-first minute, the ninety-first, Donovan got a boot on Dempsey's rebound after a quick counter attack and put a bulge in the old onion bag. What a bulge it was! Pandemonium ensued in my brain and many a brain across this nation, and when the final whistle blew the U.S. emerged as group winners by virtue of goal difference over England. The poor decisions by officials, the bad luck, none of it mattered in the end and we got what we deserved over the course of three games- group winners and a berth in the Round of 16.

Before we go on, a few more points about the group stage.

-France, no matter what happens in the rest of the tournament, you are the undeniable loser. Disgraceful. Talk about giving yourselves Les Blues.

-Italy, you deserve to not go through, that's what you get for your negativity against teams that you should be beating handily.

-Ball boys, stop throwing extra balls on the field.

-TV, stop showing slow-motion, ultra close-up images of spit flying out of the goalie's mouth while the other team is breaking down the wing and having a shot at goal.

-Everybody except Japan, practice free kicks.

Now, onto my predictions for the knockout stage.

NOTE: THESE PREDICTIONS ARE NOT REALLY PREDICTIONS THEY ARE THE MOTHERFUCKING TRUTH LIKE PAUL PIERCE IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS IN THE REST OF THE TOURNAMENT STOP READING IMMEDIATELY

I have discovered a Book that contains the Secrets of the 2010 Fifa World Cup results. It has been Written. The Book's Writers are unknown. They were extremely clever, however, and buried their Message in an almost indecipherable Code. I have managed to crack it after much meticulous research. What the Authors did was to first write the Message, which I have discovered to be this:

"Scott K will run through the streets naked after the United States soccer squad defeats Ghana, Uruguay, Brazil, and Spain to claim the trophy. Also, the aforementioned will wash by hand every United States citizen's pink elephant as a celebratory ritual. Pusillanimous".

Cryptic, isn't it? As if that strangely worded Message was not enough, the Writers then chopped up its words and jumbled them in a random, chaotic order. Lastly, they filled in the gaps between these words and even the punctuation with pages upon pages of nonsensical jargon. Let me tell you, figuring it all out was a sonofabitch, but so worth it. As a way of thanks for their continued support, I want to give the blog's dedicated followers the opportunity to get their hands on a genuine copy of the Code for themselves. Blog To Be Named Later is proud to announce exclusively that it can be found here:

http://www.amazon.com/Merriam-Websters-Collegiate-Dictionary-Laminated-Cover/dp/0877798079/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1277526449&sr=1-1

Hambani Kahle, amigos.

A Thought for Lesotho

2010-06-05T17:59:00.007-04:00

Yes, yes, I know we are all very excited for the World Cup to start in six days. However, being the leading journalist that I am, I felt it was my responsibility to take a different view of the buildup to the tournament, and I want to take a brief moment to talk about poor Lesotho.

Lesotho, since you probably don't know, is a small country located not only in Southern Africa but inside South Africa. The entire country is surrounded by the hosts of this year's World Cup. I can think of few crueler fates than to be literally surrounded by Cup festivities and the world's attention, yet still shut out from participation. Rearrange Lesotho and what do you get? The Solo.

Credit to South Africa for getting ready for the World Cup on time and in style, but they missed an opportunity here to become the coolest country ever by inviting Lesotho to be joint hosts. South Africa/Lesotho 2010 FIFA World Cup. Has a nice ring to it. So while you grab your vuvuzela and cheer on the Bafana Bafana on Friday, spare a thought for this soccer-loving Lesothan baby.

And his cat.

World Cup All-Hair Team is next. Hambani Kahle, amigos.

Henry to New York?, Gooch Forfeits Salary

2010-05-17T22:01:00.003-04:00

I appreciate you bearing with me while I delved into some niche sports in that last post. Back to mainstream American sports for this one, and big news (possibly) coming out of MLS with reports that Thierry Henry has agreed a deal with New York Red Bulls. Shouts to fellow blogsters Bones and "Thunder" Dan for calling my attention to this one. The NY club has not released any offical statement regarding the deal, but it is being widely circulated on many media outlets. The World Cup-winning, European Championship-winning, two-time EPL-winning, 2-time La Liga-winning, and Champions' League-winning (to name just a few) Frenchman has long spoken of his love for the United States, particularly New York City, and his desire to play in the MLS when his days in Europe had finished. Henry has regularly visited the States in the past and one of his best friends is everyone's fourth favorite French NBA player behind Boris Diaw, Mickael Pietrus, and Rodrigue Beaubois. The answer is Tony Parker. The two are known to hang together quite a bit and Titi enjoys attending his games while on vacation. This is a story to keep our eyes on, and I just put the number for Red Bulls season tickets into my phone for quick reference.

Over in Italia, Oguchi Onyewu has agreed a unique deal with AC Milan (the very same AC Milan that has never lost a game when Scotty K was in the stands). The towering U.S. center back, who missed all but one game of this past season with a knee injury, asked Milan to extend his contract by one year, to the end of the 2012-13 season, and told them that he wants to play that last year for no salary. "Onyewu, who has been out for virtually the whole season due to injury, but who at this time is getting ready to face the World Cup adventure in South Africa with his national team, has become a star today with a significant gesture from a personal and professional standpoint. Onyewu has requested and obtained a contract extension from June 30, 2012 until June 30, 2013. With respect to that year, as was his wish, which has been appreciated by the club, Onyewu has asked not to receive any type of wages. This is an exemplary gesture that deserves our sincere congratulations," said the club.

U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

Hambani Kahle, amigos.

Game 1 of Stanley Cup Finals to be Played Between Periods of Pee Wee Hockey Game

2010-05-17T11:10:00.003-04:00

The NHL players currently battling out the Conference Finals in the Stanley Cup Playoffs have received an extra bit of incentive to go for glory.

Gary Bettman, Commissioner of the National Hockey League, announced yesterday that Game 1 of the Stanley Cup Playoffs would be held between the first and second periods of the regular season clash between the Davisville Hawks and the North City stars in the Pee Wee Division. "These grown men have worked hard all season," remarked a visibly excited Bettman. "They certainly deserve to play in front of a crowd for such a big game, and I'm sure the parents in the stands will be very polite and enthusiastic in their support."

Upon hearing this big news, the coaches and players from all four teams still in the running to showcase their talents at the 650 capacity Alan B. Wood Rink expressed their determination to earn a berth in that game. "Its gonna be really fun. I think it will give us a chance to show the people of the North City area what Stanley Cup hockey is all about," said San Jose Sharks center Joe Thornton. When asked his opinion of the upcoming game, hockey dad Steve Anderson said he plans to use the intermission to get a coffee at the concession stand. "Sure, I'd love to see what these NHL players have to offer, but I'll be lucky just to be awake. These 4 AM games on Sunday are ridiculous."

Unfortunately, due to time constraints with the actual game being played and the need for the zamboni to clean the ice after Game 1 of the Stanley Cup Finals, Bettman confirmed that the game would be shortened to five minutes. Nonetheless, he urged the players to "just go out there, give it their all, and most importantly have fun." The NHL is still looking for a rink for Game 2. Last but certainly not least, the mornings events will not only appeal to hockey fans as the Pelham Figure Skating Club have confirmed that they will be performing during the second intermission.

Preliminary U.S. Squad Announced, Davies Misses Out

2010-05-12T21:29:00.004-04:00

On Tuesday U.S. Men's National Team Coach Bob Bradley announced a preliminary thirty-man roster for next month's (damn that sounds nice) World Cup. The squad, which will be trimmed down to twenty-three by FIFA's June 1 deadline, is as follows:

Goalkeepers: Brad Guzan (Aston Villa), Tim Howard (Everton), Marcus Hahnemann (Wolverhampton)

Midfielders: DaMarcus Beasley (Rangers), Alejandro Bedoya (Örebro), Michael Bradley (Borussia Mönchengladbach), Ricardo Clark (Eintracht Frankfurt), Clint Dempsey (Fulham), Landon Donovan (Los Angeles Galaxy), Maurice Edu (Rangers), Benny Feilhaber (Aarhus), Stuart Holden (Bolton), Sacha Kljestan (Chivas USA), Robbie Rogers (Columbus Crew), José Torres (Pachuca)

Forwards: Jozy Altidore (Villarreal), Edson Buddle (Los Angeles Galaxy), Brian Ching (Houston Dynamo), Robbie Findley (Real Salt Lake), Herculez Gomez (Puebla), Eddie Johnson (Aris Thessaloniki)

The MLS has only six representatives in the squad, with the bulk of the players coming from such international powerhouses as Örebro, Aarhus, and Aris Thessaloniki. This is in sharp contrast to the 2002 team that shocked the world by reaching the quarterfinals, which featured 12 MLS players, the squad four years ago that featured 11 MLS players. The fact that Bradley has cut these numbers in half even before the final cuts are made indicates a lack of trust in MLS and the players it produces. Our league may not be a match for the top few leagues in Europe now or perhaps ever, but nor are the Swedish or Danish leagues a match for La Liga and the English Premier League. A show of faith in MLS and exposing its players to the sport's biggest stage is the best way for the league to grow, and Bradley's selections speak loudly of a bias towards foreign-based players. In my mind he can only justify ignoring the MLS with results- round of sixteen at least if not the quarterfinals and beyond. I am not Bradley's biggest fan, and am convinced that after a needlessly shaky qualifying process his job was only saved last summer by an improbable (and somewhat flukish) second-place finish in the Confederations' Cup. Let's hope he has figured out what he's doing.

A quick word on the goalies. Brad Friedel, for my money the best American goalie around even at 38, is not in the pool, having retired from international soccer in 2005. Friedel has been a mainstay in the EPL for over a decade, and impressively holds the record for consecutive EPL games played- 226 (and counting). Even at his age he continues to excel consistently, and I find it frustrating that one of the three goalies in the squad is his backup at Aston Villa (and subsequently never plays in actual games.) The U.S'. strongest position by far is between the sticks, and even on paper we have a clear advantage there over most teams in the world, including England. Tim Howard, luckily, also happens to be one of the best GKs in England and barring injury will be the only goalie seeing action. Come on Timmy, get your shaved head ready for standing on!

Finally, the big news accompanying the squad announcement is that Charlie Davies has been left out. I think the whole country was rooting for him to recover in time from the car accident last year that killed a fellow passenger and left him with both bones in his right leg broken, an elbow fractured, facial injuries, and a lacerated bladder. He made a near-miraculous recovery to return to training with his club Sochaux in March, but failed to appear for the team again this season. Bradley has stated that it was a very hard decision to leave him out but that USMNT staff and Sochaux staff alike felt he wasn't ready for the tournament. I can imagine how hard that is for Charlie to take. I, along with millions of kids all over the world, have always dreamed of the chance to represent your nation in the World Cup and Davies was so close to realizing that dream. Here's hoping Charlie can continue to grow as a player and show the world what he can do in Brazil in 2014.

Fulham lost the Europa League Final in overtime 2-1 to Atletico Madrid. Despite the loss, Clint Dempsey came on in the 55th min, so Scotty K will be running around the streets of Methuen shirtless. Lock up your daughters and wives and sisters and mistresses and female cousins and female second cousins, people near New Hampshire.

Hambani Kahle, amigos.

Bring It On, England

2010-04-30T22:46:00.003-04:00

Boy, what a week! Shortly after the World Cup Draw, yours truly was sitting planning my next blog entry when I was kidnapped by aliens. Don't believe me? It happened. I swear it on Cristiano Ronaldo's life. Anyways, I don't want to bore you with tales of my adventures through time and space with Zorglon, Master of the Seventeen Known Universes, just to apologize for missing my last deadline. Upon my return to your reality, I see that there are a mere 42 Standard Earth Days until Mexico and South Africa kick off the first game of the World Cup. Zorglon would have had some serious explaining to do if I had gotten back after the tournament, but for now he'll just have to deal with e-mails from my outraged fans.

So, on to the Draw. The U.S. was drawn into Group C with England (!), Slovenia, and Algeria, who we will play in that order. It may not be the easiest group, but it is by no means the hardest either. I for one could not be much happier with it, if only for the England matchup. The English are widely regarded as one of the best teams in the world, and there is no doubt they will present a tough challenge. However, I want to look past the hype surrounding them, past the marketing machine that has made Rooney, Gerrard, and Lampard household names around the world, and recognize that the U.S. can beat them. The English have the starpower, one of the best leagues in the world (also see Machine, marketing and Foreign, the best players in that league are), and an intimidation factor because of all this. They also have enormous pressure from their own media and fans and a history of underperforming on the big stage. This has been called a 'golden generation' of English players, yet they failed to even qualify for Euro 2008. They have problems in the locker room. John Terry was stripped of his captaincy this year for having an affair with an ex-teammates baby mama. Wayne Bridge, the ex-teammate, has said he will not go to South Africa. Everything the team does is and will be under intense scrutiny. The media circus surrounding the so-called WAGS is enough to disrupt any team trying to focus on making a serious Cup run. Throw in the fact that the world thinks we have no chance and therefore have nothing to lose, and England is going to be feeling the heat when the teams walk out onto the pitch on June 12. I can think of few teams I would rather beat in the World Cup than England and I think most soccer fans in this country would agree. We are winning the Cup series history 1-0, former colonies have in the past made a habit of beating their old rulers, and we won the Revolutionary War. Bring. It. On.

Slovenia and Algeria are less well known, and neither has ever burned down the White House, making bloodthirsty calls for revenge a little out of place. Both teams survived playoffs against favored opponents, Russia and Egypt repectively, showing grit and mental strength to do so. Russia was many people's dark horse candidate to make noise in the tournament after an impressive Euro 2008. Algeria won an extremely tense winner-takes-all match against two-time defending African champ Egypt in Sudan. The Algerian team claimed its bus was attacked before the game and several players were injured. Damn. That team is tough. Neither team will be pushovers for the U.S., but we are capable of getting at least a win and a draw against them if we play to our capability.

Outside Group C, Group G looks tasty, with Brazil, Portugal, Cote d'Ivoire, and North Korea set to face off. Brazil and Spain must be listed as early favorites, with Argentina, the Netherlands, Italy, Germany, and Portugal bracketed just under them, along with an admittedly struggling France that would be nonetheless unwise to write off. Go figure.

A month and a half 'til the World Cup. The European season is wrapping up, with Bayern Munich and Inter Milan set to contest the Champions' League Final. Fulham and Clint Dempsey, Cinderella 2010, will meet Atletico Madrid in the Europa League Final. Good luck to Dempsey, who by my five second research of my brain would be the first American to win a European cup should Fulham succeed. Scotty K will run naked through the streets of Methuen if that happens. The Premier League is looking down to the wire between Chelsea and Manchester United (please no four-peat), La Liga between Barcelona and Real Madrid, and France and Germany are still up for grabs. Arsenal is building titanium skeletons for its players so Robin van Persie and Cesc Fabregas can play soccer a lot next year. The Celtics head to Cleveland tomorrow for Game 1 of what should be a good (scary) series. I'll be keeping an eye on all that, and barring any unforeseen cosmic happenings I will be back shortly.

Hambani Kahle, amigos

Baseball is Back!

2010-04-05T13:02:00.000-04:00

Baseball is back in Boston! Game 1 of 162 is a W for the Sox. Despite the predictions of the Red Sox not being able to score a run all year, they beat the defending champs with an impressive offensive performance by putting up 9 runs on the vaunted Yankees. In their first game in Sox uniforms, the new guys on the roster delivered. Adrian Beltre, Marco Scutaro, and Mike Cameron all showed up big time, by getting hits, scoring runs and making plays in the field. Last night the Red Sox showed offensive and defensive efficiency by getting on the bags and dealing well with balls hit in play. There was some down side to the game as well, Josh Beckett had a rough outing, giving up a few HRs, which has been an issue with him in the past. With all this being said it was an amazing opening day game between the greatest rivals in all of sport.