Photo: Courtesy of Flickr / Creative Commons

There’s this invisible threshold we need to cross, either put there by ourselves or by what others define “a writer” as.

And a lot of times that threshold is ever-changing:

• “You’re not a writer until you finish a book.”
• “You’re not a writer until you’ve sold your first piece of writing.”
• “You’re not a writer until you make a living at it.”

I’ve believed all of those at one time or another.

mid 1980s

I’m in high school, writing feverishly in my notebook during classes, attempting to give meaning to an otherwise meaningless existence. I’m writing my heart out, attempting to build worlds and hoping someday someone will give a damn about them. Am I a writer yet?

The 90s

I’m working the graveyard shift at a gas station. A job so mind-numbingly boring, I could do it in my sleep. I’m writing. A lot. I’m anonymous, though. People look at me and treat me like I’m an idiot in an idiot’s job. I’m so much more than I seem. But am I a writer yet?

Early 2000s

I’m a bookkeeper and eventually a credit manager, a job which actually requires some skills and is quite stressful. The pay isn’t great, but it’s the best I’ve made. The only writing I’m doing is in a comic strip, which is seeing some small success on the web. I’m not writing fiction, though. And it hurts. I’ve traded the dream of writing fiction for the immediacy of accolades from a growing audience of my comics. Am I a writer yet?

Mid 2000s

I’m finally making a living writing! I’m working at a newspaper. I’m writing. A lot. Thousands of words per week, and I’m actually making a difference in my community in some small way. People compliment me, people insult me, and some even say they were moved. But I’m still not writing the fiction I yearn to write. Who has time when you’re working on a staff that is dwindling by the day? Am I a writer yet?

Late 2000s

The paper closed down. I’m blogging now, doing some freelance stuff, and ghostwriting for others. I dream of writing books again, yet I don’t have the time. Am I a writer yet?

2011

Together with my writing partner, Sean Platt, I co-wrote the vampire thriller Available Darkness, the post-apocalyptic serialized thriller Yesterday’s Gone, and just released a book of dark fiction short stories called Dark Crossings. We had the Number One Free Horror novel on Amazon for the first week of November. And in the past three months, we’ve sold a lot of books and received rave reviews. For the first time ever, my writing dreams seem like a reality.

Am I a writer yet?

The truth is, I’ve always been a writer. As long as I’ve kept moving the pen (and striking the keys), whether for myself or for an audience, I’ve been a writer.

Even after all this, I’m sure there some who would say I’m not yet a writer. I’ve not been signed to a book deal. I’ve not had a bestseller. I’m not a household name. Some people still view self-publishing as a “vanity thing” and demean it and take shots whenever they can, even though some of the biggest success stories in writing last year came from indie writers who are re-shaping publishing.

But I don’t write so someone else will consider me a writer.

I write for me. I write for my family. I write for you.

I am a writer. It’s what I do, whether I have an audience or not.

Am I a writer yet?

I knew I was a writer the minute I was too busy writing to consider the question.

* * * *

(Note: I’d like to thank all of you who have followed BloggerDad, despite my horrible attendance last year. I wrote more words in 2011 than ever. And yet, somehow I only wrote 26 posts here. Truth is, I had to take some time away to focus on my fiction. And I’m thrilled with where it’s at and where it’s going, as I mentioned in the post. Which means now I can come back here and write more often. I’ll be updating BloggerDad TWICE A WEEK in 2012. Thank you for your patience.)

* * * *

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E, entranced, watching Zooey sing The National Anthem.

“She’s pretty,” he said, staring at her as if she were glowing or something.

“She’s a princess,” a minute later, perhaps because of her dress.

Then he asked, “Do you love her?”

I laughed, and said, no, I love mommy.

“You don’t love anyone on TV? You can love people on TV.”

When she was done singing, he had to watch it again. And again. And still wanted to watch it again.

While girls seem to love E, he doesn’t usually seem quite so entranced as he was by Zooey. He’s far more likely to flirt, or turn away, shy.

He loves to watch people sing. He also seems to notice whenever girls wear red on TV.

So last night, Zooey had it going on as far as my four year old is concerned.

Here’s the video of Zooey’s performance that someone posted, as long as youtube leaves it up. Hit the red box to get rid of the obnoxious text boxes.

Yes, I used to watch soap operas.

There, I admitted it. All the guys in the room can point and laugh. The ladies, well, given the state of soaps today, you might be laughing, too.

I didn’t like soaps for the romance, the sleeping around, or betrayals. No, I watched for the adventure. Shows like Days of Our Lives, General Hospital, and my favorite, Santa Barbara, had some thrilling storylines. Murder, intrigue, mystery, and sometimes even supernatural (which was awesome when done well) stuff.

I’d always loved the serialized format — shows, comic books, or fiction with a jaw-dropping cliffhanger ending. But not many TV shows were doing that sorta thing back then. Except soaps.

MY OWN “SOAPS”

So, from 7th grade through high school, I used to fill spiral notebooks full of ongoing serials of my adventurous soap. It was awesome. It had an undercover cop, a billionaire evil dude, and all sorts of labyrinthine plot twists. It was awesome, even if I only showed a couple of of close friends.

These ongoing stories in my head were pretty much my only escape from a miserable, almost friendless existence. I loved thinking of cool new twists to throw into my heroes’ journeys. The only thing more exciting would’ve been if I was entertaining actual readers.

I wanted to show my stories to some more people, expand my readership if you will. But at the same time, I didn’t want to pass around some story that seemed like a soap opera on paper. I was already not the most masculine of guys. This would’ve put an even bigger target on my back.

Since I was also writing horror stories, I decided to try something new — add a serial element to my scary stuff.

And it was my first taste of having readers, even if it was just a few people digging the stuff I was writing. For a kid who tried to fly under the radar, and NOT stick out, this was a huge leap of faith to show other people (beyond my best friends) my writing.

And when they responded well, it was the most awesome feeling ever.

There was nothing more cooler than having people ask, “What’s gonna happen next?” or “Why did you end it like that?!”

For someone with few friends, little athletic ability, and no discernible talents that impressed anyone, this was nothing less than life changing. I was finally accepted (and appreciated) for something I did.

RESURRECTING THE SERIAL

After school, I kept writing, but I kept most of it to myself. I no longer had, or sought, an audience. And until 2005, when I get a job writing at a small newspaper, I thought I might not ever realize my dream of writing fiction.

Then, in 2008, I met my writing and business partner, Sean Platt, and we decided to try co-writing an old story idea I had in serial form (Available Darkness). Time constraints, the scope of the book, and the format (we tried blogging it) made serialization difficult and unnatural, though. So we scrapped the serial idea and just wrote the book (which came out in August.)

A few months ago, we got to talking about wanting to do something new for the Kindle audience. We knew we wanted to do a series, and had a few story seeds we’d been watering over the years. But then we had another idea.

What if we did a whole new series, from scratch, and in serial form?

Sean and I are huge fans of serialized drama. Our two favorite shows are LOST and The Wire, the gold standards by which all serialized drama should be judged.

What if we wrote our own serialized show? But in book form?

We’d write 100 page books (or “episodes” as we’re calling them), each of them with a killer cliffhanger ending. We’d start with a cool premise — what would happen if everyone else on the planet vanished all at once? Not a rapture “Left Behind” sort of book (which I’d never read), but something altogether different.

The format seemed PERFECTLY built for Amazon, and as far as I know, nobody else is doing this sort of thing on this sort of release schedule (though I could be wrong.)

Sean and I began to plan, plot, and hatch our schemes of six-episode seasons. Episodes would be published every three weeks at Amazon.

We kicked off with the first episode of Yesterday’s Gone a few weeks ago. And now, we’re thrilled to announce Episode Two.

If you like serialized shows, serialized books like Stephen King’s The Green Mile, or ever stayed home sick from school just to catch an episode of your favorite soap, I’d love you to check out Yesterday’s Gone. It is a character-driven series with tons of thrills, chills, and mysteries to unravel. And we’re aiming to make each ending a cliffhanger worthy of our favorite shows.

You can buy current season episodes for .99 cents at Amazon or at Smashwords (where you can download it in just about any format for any type of reader you have.) We’ll have versions available at other retailers such as Barnes and Noble and Apple soon.

So please download a sample today, and if you like it, buy it. If you love it, please leave a review where you bought it, review it on your blog, mention it on Facebook or Twitter, or tell a friend. Just like TV shows need viewers to survive, we need readers to check us out.

The more people we can get reading, the more time we can invest in bringing this series to life. With a bit of luck and support, maybe we’ll last several seasons! Or who knows, perhaps it will become a proper TV show?

Click any of the links below:

Yesterday’s Gone Episode 1 at Amazon

Yesterday’s Gone Episode 2 at Amazon

Yesterday’s Gone Episode 1 at Smashwords  (2 is coming to Smashwords later this week)

I finally finished my first novel Available Darkness, which is now available at Amazon in print and for the Kindle device and app.

I’d like to thank my co-author and friend Sean Platt for helping see this book through to completion and kicking my ass when needed. And thank you to the readers who kept emailing us asking when we’d finish (we ran the first half of Available Darkness as  a serialized book on Collective Inkwell more than a year ago before putting it on hiatus).

And of course, thank you to my awesome wife, for taking so much of the brunt of the household and parenting workload while I holed away in my dungeon finishing the book.

For those who have read the first part online, you’ll likely want to re-read from the beginning. We edited, re-edited, and repeated the process many times, changing a few things here and there, and tweaking the story to as close as perfect as we could get without holding onto it forever.

Here’s the back of the book jacket info:

The Darkness Has Awoken.

FBI Special Agent Caleb Baldwin is on the hunt for a serial killer who has left a trail of burned bodies. One of those victims – his wife. As he gets closer to finding the killer, he falls deeper into an elaborate conspiracy.

A man wakes buried alive with no memory of who or what he is. In his pocket, a note: “Avoid the sunlight and don’t touch anybody.” Now he is being hunted by the FBI while trying to remember his monstrous past. He must control the darkness within before it consumes him and the child whose life he must protect.

11-year-old Abigail was dying slowly each day as the prisoner of a sick man. Until she is saved by the most unlikely of heroes – a vampire with a deadly touch. He is her only hope, and she may hold the key to unlocking the memories of his hidden past.

Past, present, fate, and future are on a collision course as the hours of AVAILABLE DARKNESS are ticking away and a force greater than anything the world has ever seen threatens humanity.

Available Darkness is the first book in an epic journey that reinvents vampire mythology with a fast paced, character-driven thriller that blends action, mystery, fantasy, and horror in an addictive, tragically romantic story.

I hope you enjoy it as much I enjoyed writing it.

Available Darkness is available at Amazon in paperback or eBook version for your Kindle device at a very low price.

If you read the book, please consider leaving a review on Amazon. When you’re a new writer, reviews really help you get word out about your books.

Thank you for reading,

David

Want to help? Well, when you’re done crying check out this post.

Cars 2 was released last week and I still haven’t decided if I’ll let my four year old son E see it yet.

This is tough, because he LOVES the first Cars movie. We’ve seen it a billion times, he has tons of Cars toys, Cars shirts, Cars bedding.

My biggest concerns, as I said in a post in November, is the use of guns, missiles, and explosions in a cartoon aimed at young children. According to the website Kids In Mind,  Cars 2 features ranks 4 out of 10 in the violence category.

Four out of 10 in a G-rated movie?

Clearly Cars 2 is too violent for young children.

Here’s just one of the several entries describing the violence:

A car hanging onto zip-lines above the deck of an oil rig fires two guns at several other cars that fire back and cut the zip-line: the car on the zip-line falls, still attached to one cable, landing safely, several cars chase the car and we see a spray of bullets; the car fires a gun at a stack of oil cans that tumble toward the other cars, and the oil cans explode and flames wrap around a ramp where the other cars are (the cars appear later, unharmed). A truck is cornered by cars with guns, and the truck fires two large Gatling guns at the cars; the cars drive for cover and the truck escapes unharmed.

And there’s plenty of more scenes just like it.

I’m sure there’s plenty of kids out there who see this stuff all the time and maybe it has no effect on them. Saturday morning cartoons in the 70s and 80s (when I was a kid) were full of violent content and I didn’t wind up in a clock tower with a rifle.

If my son were a few years older, this wouldn’t even be an issue. In fact, I’m looking forward to the day we can watch Spider-Man cartoons.

The Cars franchise however, is not aimed at older children.

Need proof? Check out the Cars-related merchandise aimed at toddlers – sippy cups, toddler clothing, toys, and even diapers! Why would they target toddlers if they aren’t the target demographic?

I love Pixar and think they should be able to make any movie they want. But I’m disappointed in this change of direction in the franchise. It’s tantamount to bait and switch. Start off with a simple, family-friendly movie. Follow up with a spy movie where the characters you know and love are suddenly thrust into danger and being shot at.

It’s as if I turned on Sesame Street to see Bert and Ernie in a gang war, popping caps in Big Bird while an explosion just took out Oscar’s newsstand.

Are guns and missiles and mortal peril things that a four, or even five year old should be exposed to? Are they old enough to even understand such things? Or are scenes like this too intense and scary for them? When my son saw the advertisements, he asked me if the Cars got hurt? If the movie was scary. If so, he didn’t think he wanted to see it. He still doesn’t care for the last Toy Story movie because of all the intense scenes of danger.

It’s a shame that Pixar, a company so good at recapturing the magic of childhood is also so intent on destroying the magic for its smallest fans.

As a parent, you know you can’t protect your children from the world forever. But you try, for a little while, anyway, to let them live in a world of innocence, optimism, and safety.

A world where people (and Cars) aren’t trying to kill one another for unknown reasons.

Where people still play together despite their differences.

A world where love and family can change even the most hardened of hearts.

You know, a world like Radiator Springs.

Did you see Cars 2? What did YOU think?

**

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As I’ve said before, I don’t do promotion stuff often. And when I do, it has to be something I’ll use, or more often than not, something my son will like. And for the most part, PR people have been pretty cool with me lately, and don’t send me pitches for stupid stuff.

But when Father’s Day comes, all bets are off.

Every marketer and his brother is looking for a way to tie their product to Father’s Day. Hell, Amazon had a page of magazines on sale for Father’s Day which included Seventeen Magazine and Cosmo!

I get it, I’d probably do the same thing if I was a marketer.

But then there’s the items where it’s really a stretch to call them Father’s Day Gifts.

Those emails are the best.

My favorite email this year came from someone who even offered me an article to post with links to the product. Here’s part of that email: (I removed the links to the product, so as not to be a complete jerk)

“Original Father’s Day Gifts: What Every Dad Wants

Wondering what to get for the CEO in your life? You know, the one who co-founded YOU, Inc.? Dad doesn’t need another pack of tube socks this Father’s Day. This year let’s spoil him – - treat your Dad to a unique Father’s Day gift.

Father’s Day Gifts with a Personalized Touch

Remind your father he is still the king of the jungle and certainly not lacking courage by giving your father this crystal lion. COMPANY NAME offers a stunning crystal statue of natural royalty any Father would be thrilled to call his own. Authoritative and dignified, sitting proudly on a walnut base, this handcrafted and creative Father’s Day gift features a lion regal and commanding even in repose. This creature will remind your Father to relax and enjoy HIS day every time the light catches this magnificent piece. Tomorrow he can return to guarding the pack. Today, this master in glass will stand guard over his kingdom. This statue is a dignified tribute to dear old Dad.”

One other thing, this crystal lion costs . . .$3,900!!!!!

WTF?!

My favorite line is the part about how “this royal creature will remind your father to relax and enjoy HIS day every time the light catches this magnificent piece.”

I’m sorry, you must not know my dad. If you did, that line would more likely read,

“This insanely priced piece of glass will remind your father how much money his stupid ass son wasted each time the light catches what might be the most expensive paperweight ever.”

The lion wasn’t the only outrageously overpriced item on this list of “Original Father’s Day gifts.” There was also a watch for $2,000 and a tie for the almost reasonable by comparison price of $200.

I suppose if you’re loaded and money’s not an issue, a $3,900 crystal lion and $2,000 watch is like picking up a bottle of Old Spice or something. But I’m not that guy.

I almost didn’t post this. I realize that PR people have a job to do to get people to want what your client is selling. But this email really pissed me off. I’m not sure why it annoyed me so much. Maybe it was the closing sentence.

“Lose the boring and drab Father’s Day gift ideas and instead find the perfect present for Dad that embraces all that he represents.”

That’s just the thing – despite your assertions to the contrary, my dad doesn’t want, or need, overpriced artifice. He’d much rather have a practical gift he can use or get enjoyment from. Or better yet, and here’s a novel idea, a gift from the heart!

In fact, I feel sorry for anyone who has a dad represented by such high priced nonsense.

My dad’s a down-to-earth guy, happy with simple gifts or simply spending time with his family. If that makes him (or me) boring and drab, I’ll take that any day of the week over a $3,900 crystal lion kind of dad.

**

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I’ve been holed away finishing the first Available Darkness book, which I co-wrote with Sean Platt.

We started the vampire thriller as an online serial back in 2009 over at Collective Inkwell. Each week, a new chapter, always “to be continued…” We loved the concept of serializing the story, even if reading a book online is a bit of a chore.

While a handful of readers followed faithfully along with each week’s new installments, most people emailed us asking the same thing – when would the book be available in print? Recently, the question has been, when will there be a Kindle version? Even my friend, Lisa, who loves everything I write, said, “I’ll wait for the print version.”

I get it. Fact is, I hate reading books online, too.

The original plan was to publish it online, then edit it, then print it in book form. However, our plan was derailed a bit in 2010 when business picked up and we were writing for everyone but ourselves.

So we put Available Darkness on hiatus indefinitely.

It was a tough decision, as we didn’t want to leave our readers hanging. But it was also an easy decision, because we were busier than ever with paid work. We’d worked hard to get to that point with our ghostwriting business, so we weren’t about to abandon what got us there.

We promised ourselves (and each other) to get back to writing Available Darkness when time allowed.

While our book sat in purgatory, undone and abandoned, a funny thing happened. New readers started to discover it …

even though we weren’t promoting Available Darkness.

Even though we hardly ever wrote about it.

People were finding it by word of mouth, or running through our archives. And we got more email, this time from new readers asking where the rest of the story was. When would we finish it?

To be honest, I wasn’t sure when we’d finish it. Or even if.

I had wanted to get back to John, Abigail, and Caleb. But then I always got busy again.

Then something interesting happened. Friend and partner, Lori R. Taylor read the first half of the book and convinced Sean and I that we HAD to get back to this book. She loved it and wanted to see the rest. Lori has a contagious sort of personality which can get you excited about something. She’s a natural born speaker, leader, and great sales person, and … she sold us on our own book.

And the time has never been better for writers.

Self-published authors were suddenly finding amazing success at Amazon selling eBooks. Amazon has revolutionized the publishing industry, allowing unknown authors to compete with mainstream successes. When you’re an indie author printing your own books, it’s hard to make a living at it. You won’t get good pricing, so you have to price print books higher than big publishers can sell theirs for. Then there’s the matter of getting the book into a store as shelf space seems to be ever-decreasing. And then you’ve got to deal with bookstores returning books. And profits can quickly fade away.

However, eBooks allow anyone to sell their books without having to jump through hoops or compete for shelf space. And writers can sell books at their own prices, which is great because while our print book will have to be higher than I’d like, anyone can afford to buy our eBooks.

And if there’s one thing I want, it’s to make our stories available to as many people as possible at as low a price as I can.

Back Into Darkness

So, a few months ago, we jumped back into the world of Available Darkness, re-reading it from the beginning, going through the notes I’d originally made when mapping it out, and changing a few minor things (such as the suggested name change of John – too many J’s – to Caleb). And two things struck me while going through the book. One, how much I missed the characters in it, characters that have been in my head for more than 20 years. And second, how damned good the book is!

And I’m thrilled to say that Sean and I are finally done with it, and it’s in the printing process!

Available Darkness will be published in eBook (at a very reasonable price) AND print. I’m waiting for the proofs now, but the book should be for sale within a couple of weeks. And while Sean and I have worked on a million things together since we first hooked up, this is our first story as a team. And I can’t wait to have it in my hands!

And for those of you who were reading it online, we’ll still post the entire thing for free on the web, so we don’t leave you hanging any longer. We’re also planning to release the second book of the trilogy next year. And next time, we’ll wait until the whole thing is done before posting Chapter One on the web!

Anyway, that’s what I’ve been doing. And I’m thrilled to get back home to Blogger Dad and look forward to posting much more regularly. Now that I have some time.

Here’s a look at the cover.

**

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I will never forget the look in your eyes, the smile on your face – even as you cried – the first time you saw E, as he was brought into the hospital room.

Your heart melted.

And I fell in love with you all over again.

You’ve earned every accolade that comes with the word, mother. It’s oftentimes a thankless job with long nights, early mornings, a hectic schedule, a moody husband, and annoying cats.

It’s a world where bliss comes in small doses – Starbucks, the infrequent ‘date night’, and waking up without a little boy in your face asking you to do “Oobi” with your hands at 5:30 a.m.

You hold this house together in a way I’d never have the strength or patience to do in your position.

You are the reason E is such a wonderful, caring, sweet child (though I still take credit for his awesome humor and dancing skills).

You’re loving, selfless, caring, sweet, dedicated, patient, funny, and giving.

I know I don’t say this enough. But thank you for being such a wonderful wife and friend. And thank you for being the best mother a child could ask for.

And another thing I don’t say nearly enough – I love you.

Happy Mother’s Day.

Yeah, I know I’m a bit, shall we say, tardy, in doing so, what with it being April and all.

Don’t judge.

The only reason I took the lights down was because this weekend was my son’s 4th birthday this weekend and we were having people in from out of town.

My plan was to keep the lights up year round simply to avoid having to put them up again next year. They were white, so it’s not like they really stood out as much as colored lights would. However, I don’t want to be the owner of that house. You know, the one that the neighbors point at as they drive by every say, “Are their lights STILL up?”

Although, considering it’s April, that ship might have already left the docks.

Keeping Up With The Joneses

Having lights up all year would be one thing if I lived in a trashy neighborhood where Christmas lights would be competing with cars on blocks, couches in the yard, and all manner of eyesores. But I live in a decent suburban neighborhood and to make matters worse, two of my neighbors have recently undergone rather extensive outdoor landscaping projects which have made their yards seem like something from the front cover of a magazine called Nicer Homes Than You Have.

Those jerks!

And while my house and yard don’t like like the one on Malcolm in the Middle, we don’t have a perfectly-manicured lawn, rock garden, or any of the other things people do to make their homes look nicer. For one, having a nice yard is expensive! And for two, it involves a lot more work than I have time for.

But as the neighbors are making their homes look better, I’m kind of feeling a psychological push to do similar.

It’s almost as if I can feel them saying, “Come on, dude, do something with your lawn. Or hell, at least take down your lights!”

So I went out today and yanked the lights down, rolling them up for next year (sigh), and my new neighbor came out of his house — the guy who just planted a huge tree and some other landscaping. I stared at the ground, not wanting to make eye contact at all, hoping he wouldn’t notice that I was (finally!) taking my lights down. But as I did my best to become invisible, I could feel his eyes on me. Mocking me.

And I’m not sure, but I think I heard him mentally clapping sarcastically at me.

Jerk.

**

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