Here’s a link to my humorous but heartfelt “acceptance speech”

http://skirt.com/kittyboy/blog/ultimate-acceptance-speech-lynn-lamousin-aka-kittyboy-named-best-blogger-2010

After failing at fiction writing (I’m a terrible novelist), I seem to have found my stride in writing about myself.

“Kittyboy, I’m happy for you, but Beyonce has the best blog of the year!”

Here’s my repost…

This is what happens when you work every day, 12 hours a day, for 4 weeks (Forum 35, Art Melt)

By Kittyboy, Tuesday, November 9, 2010, 3 comments

Remember the blog post about my sister and I getting conned out of $100 each for tickets to an event that ended up being less than eventful?  (Held by Forum 35 / Art Melt)

Well I finally received a reply to the complaint I filed with the Louisiana Attorney General (about Forum 35 / Art Melt).

The most ironic part of Forum 35 / Art Melt’s response was their statement that they believed “improved communication will resolve issues of this nature.”

Ha!

I think this is humorous because I tried to talk to one of the Forum 35 / Art Melt organizers the night of the event.  You remember this guy – right?

He ignored me even though I tapped him on the shoulder and waited patiently.  At least I was patient for a while.  (Then I took his photo to document his awesome communication skills.)

After the event I tried to call Forum 35 (the sponsor of Art Melt) several times, but NO ONE EVER ANSWERS THE PHONE.  No matter when you phone you always get a recording to leave a message.  There isn’t even a directory so you can leave a direct message for someone – it’s just a catch-all answering machine for anyone associated with Forum 35 / Art Melt.

In all fairness, they did answer the complaint back at the end of August, but I’ve been in Atlanta on business for 3 months so I’m just receiving it now.  (I’m still in Atlanta, but I had my Baton Rouge roomie, Jeffrey, forward me any mail that looked “important.”)

So I get in last night around 7:45p.m. and I open Forum 35 / Art Melt’s reply to my complaint. (3 pages, single-spaced, plus supporting invoices/checks/ and a copy of my blog – which somehow they consider evidence that I “misunderstood” the purpose of the event.  Can you say “NO SENSE OF HUMOR.”)

What’s interesting is that I don’t think they realized I would receive a copy of the response that they sent to the Louisiana Attorney General’s office because in the reply is a copy of an email they received TWO WEEKS before the event from Chef John Besh’s staff telling them that he would not be attending.  They never updated the website to reflect this – and guess where I bought my ticket from?  The website.

So anyway, it’s 7:45p.m. on Monday night and I’m tired and grouchy because I’ve already been working 10 hours at two different client offices and I have another couple of hours of freelance work to do, so I call the number for Forum 35 / Art Melt (again) and I receive their answering machine (again).

And here is the message I left:  (As I recall it.)

I’m calling for (insert name of Forum 35 / Art Melt president here).  This is Lynn Lamousin – I filed a complaint against Forum 35 and Art Melt with the state Attorney General and I’ve been out of town on business and I’m just reading your reply.  I’m not satisfied with your response and I’ll be following-up by email.  I’m sure you have no plans to refund my money, but I’m happy to see that I was at least able to waste some of your time – just like you wasted mine…  By the way, you spelled my name wrong … idiot.

Hahaha! Seriously, that’s pretty much the message I left.  It was petty, I know.  (But it’s kind of funny.)

And here’s what my email follow-up to Forum 35 / Art Melt will likely be:

Dear Forum 35 / Art Melt president

See: http://skirt.com/kittyboy/blog/what-happens-when-you-work-every-day-12-hours-day-4-weeks-forum-35-art-melt

Love,
Lynn Lamosine Lamousin

Note: These are my opinions about Forum 35 , Art Melt, and Art Melt Preview Party.  Not to be confused with any other business named Forum 35 , Art Melt, or Art Melt Preview Party.  This blog is about Forum 35 , Art Melt, Art Melt Preview Party, located in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

http://skirt.com/kittyboy/blog/lynn-lamousin-named-%E2%80%9Cmost-influential-writer-internet%E2%80%9D

A must read!

Check out my new blog at http://skirt.com/kittyboy

If you aren’t in the mood to dig around, here are a couple of my favorite recent posts:

WHY CREATIVE WRITING IS OFTEN USELESS FOR A WORKING WRITER:

http://skirt.com/kittyboy/blog/being-career-day-speaker-part-2-forget-everything-you-learned-creative-writing

ONLINE DATING TIPS FOR MEN:
http://skirt.com/kittyboy/blog/tips-men-online-dating-donts

and MY PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE WAY OF DEALING WITH BEING IGNORED:
http://skirt.com/kittyboy/blog/sporting-harry-potters-invisibility-cloak-2010-atlanta-film-festival

Enjoy, y’all!

Here’s the last post I was able to make there before it went lights out… “I’m in the mood to blog — to share/interact/build community. But I can’t access my account. I know that change/evolution/progress is good. But sometimes getting there is tedium. My mantra of the afternoon is “patience” and I will keep humming that to myself as I write my thoughts in Word and save them for another day.”

I used to write artist and art gallery profiles for Piedmont Review, and for a while I was an artist myself.  My first major at LSU was “Fine Art,” but once I realized there weren’t any cute, straight guys in the curriculum I changed out of it.  Okay, I know that’s dumb, but I had just graduated from an all-girls high school and I wanted boys in my classes.  Come on, I was 18  — what more do I need to say.

So, this past Saturday my friend Holly White who works for Art Papers magazine generously gave my broke ass a free ticket to their annual fundraiser.  She had several incredible photography pieces up for bid; plus, I saw a fab work by Robin Bernat.  So it was a class event, for sure, and the following comments in no way are meant to bash those who had art displayed.  They are meant to bash me and how ignorant I’ve become.

As soon as I entered the event I thought of my friend Tom Redmond who lives in Baton Rouge.  He and I attend art festivals in Louisiana and we often break-down how items are made and discuss how to recreate.  So, I texted him as follows (misspellings were kept on purpose — remember I was using a touchscreen):

String of correspondence starting on Feb 6, 2010 7:56 PM
LYNN TEXT
At a huge charity arr auction right now. Getting tons of inspiration. Wish you were here to help me decipher how some of this was created.

TOM TEXT
Take pix

LYNN TEXT
Gonna start sending by email. Hate being po’ and not being able to buy anything!

TOM TEXT
Barter with the artist

LYNN TEXT
They’re not here. Not booths. Silent auction you just write name and bid amount next to the piece you want. Fundrauser for Art Papers magazine. National fine art mag based out of Atlanta. My friend Holly works for them and got me a free ticket. $30 just to walk in the door.

LYNN EMAIL
RE: Fuggin computer printout
Sheet of computer paper with digital printout. I.e. A fuggin word doc printed on a shitty printer. High bid is $500. WTF?

TOM RESPONSE: it’s art & it’s for charity, you dime-store philanthropist!!

LYNN EMAIL
RE: Ha!
Stem glued to canvas and all painted white. About 3 inches. Current bid us $250. OMfrigginGawd.

TOM RESPONSE: (no reply)

LYNN EMAIL
RE: Paper
Cut paper! So cool in person. Can’t believe that noone has bid on it. Artist has another piece in same series with a bunch of bids.

TOM RESPONSE: (no reply)

LYNN EMAIL
RE: Lightbox
$400. Gotta figure out how to make this! Would be fun way to display stills from my movie.

TOM RESPONSE: easy enough.  photography stores carry them for looking at slides

LYNN EMAIL
RE: Omg!!!
Notebook fuckin tacked to the wall with a tag that you can buy at Office Depot. Right now the high bid is $2000.00 let me type that again TWO GRAND!!

TOM RESPONSE: but WHOSE is it???

LYNN EMAIL
RE: Huge notebook paper
Love this! Big piece of white paper. Craft punch on the sides. Words are marker. 23x 51 inches. Someone just bid 1500.00 on it!

TOM RESPONSE: now this is cool…

In Facebook, I’ve tagged some of my artist and photog friends who I thought might appreciate seeing the work.  I’m curious to know your take on the art pieces that stuck me for various reasons.  What do you think “art” is?

Well, here we are, 3 days until the end of 2009 and I still have one New Year’s resolution that isn’t done — to finish one of my unfinished writing projects.  Give me some motivation and cheer me on to finish my screenplay or the first draft of my sock puppet book in the next 72 hours.

Go Lynn, go Lynn, go…

I’m still waiting on the “real” self-help book I ordered from Amazon and that I plan to satirize the hell out of.  That’s my excuse for being stuck… I want to use that book as a model and since I don’t have it yet, I’m having trouble putting my framework in place.

Maybe if I got out of my bathrobe I could walk down to the mailbox and see if it was here yet.

The grey tabby is doing great, but, man, is he a bad one.  He has pulled so much dirt into his kennel that it’s about 1″ thick on his floor.  He’s even got roots from the ground in there.  He dumps over his food/water dishes, his litter box, his box with bed.  It’s just such a mess in there every day.  I had to put food/water dishes that attach to the side of the kennel so he’d have food/water.  I’ve had only one other cat that was this bad.  He wants out!!!  Animal control has to come over to check him before he is released (I think just one more day) and I hate for them to see his kennel.  Anyway, I’m glad that I could help.  Animal control at first wanted him kept at a vet, but I insisted that he stay with me, where I’m sure he is happier, even though he is not happy at all.

The little monster described above is all the way to the right in the photo.  He’s the only boy of the bunch and I guess he’s pissed that his manly bits got snipped.

I own a house in Baton Rouge, and that’s my primary residence; but I also have an apartment in Atlanta because that’s where my clients are located.

To be able to afford the dual city lifestyle (which I have out of necessity since there is no work for my profession in Baton Rouge) I cut out everything I didn’t need.  Let me state that again — need.  As my mother used to always say — “you should separate your wants from your needs.”  And that’s what I did.

The first thing to go was having my hair colored at the salon.  That saved me about $60 a month.

Next, I ‘bundled” my Baton Rouge services so I have cable, internet, and home phone (which I need for my monitored burglar alarm) all from Cox.  But at my Atlanta apartment I don’t have any of those things.  I get “air” channels on an old TV using an analog/digital adapter (ABC, CBS, NBC, etc.), I nab free wifi wherever I can get it, and I use my iPhone for just about everything else.

For books, I frequent the library, download free ebooks, or borrow from friends.

Movies are the same — library, download, or borrow.

For lunch and dinner, I don’t do take-out anymore.  If I’m going to eat at home I cook so I can save my money for meals out with friends.

I haven’t bought clothes in a year (maybe two).  Okay, maybe I have gotten a new shirt (or something) if I find a great piece on the 75% clearance rack, but in general I’m recycling what I have (and taking hand-me-downs from my sisters).

It sounds awful, doesn’t it?

But, it’s not.  I wish I wasn’t so restricted with my spending, but honestly, I really appreciate little gifts I’m given.  A friend who offers to treat at lunch.  My sister passing along makeup she got as a free gift, but that’s not her shade.   Neighbors who let me dig through the items they’re putting at the curb so I can furnish my Atlanta apartment — I got a coffee table, butcher block kitchen cart, and various kitchen items that way.

Anyway, you get the idea of what life has been like.  This year has actually been better financially than last year, however I’m still living hand to mouth.  But I’m okay with that.  I don’t know why, but I feel like the experience has made me a more empathetic and thankful person.