Bloggin' with Noel Yulo

Bloggin' with Noel Yulo 50th Post Special: Top 10 Posts of All-Time

2015-04-04T21:31:00.000+08:00

5 years. 50 posts. [Insert punchline here. Can't think of any].

Can't really tell if it's an achievement, but hey, it's something.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, my name is Noel Yulo and I am proud to welcome you to my 50th post in my Bloggin' with Noel Yulo blog!!! (Hooray?) So after five years of writing in my ~~personal diary~~ blog, I am proud and happy of reaching such achievement that a lot of bloggers out there would probably be laughing just to see how slow I write. I guess a lot of writers out there probably had their 50th post as early as within two months but not a lot can say that they made 50 posts, let alone a blog, within five years (yes I am a proud degenerate writer), so kudos to me!

I don't really know how to start this one off as I can't even tell if having a 50th post is monumental or not (probably should have waited for 100). All I can say is that this blog of mine has indeed stood the test of time. Not to mention getting 17,000+ views is already something to uphold. But to give you guys a quick history, I started this blog way back 2010. I used to blog in Friendster and Multiply but due to the rapid change of social media (new gets old, old gets retired), I had to find a new place to blog. After some thorough research (or googling best blog sites), I was able to stumble upon Blogger and since then I have mainly blogged on this site. I have a Wordpress and Tumblr blog but I write here more often since it came first (and I only get to be funny here, which I'm not even sure is funny).

Honestly, when I started this blog, my motives were to plainly write the thoughts in my mind, to the point where it seemed like a personal diary of sorts. Later on, it became a tool for me to share my experiences to other people and hoping that it can help them if they have the same messed-up scenarios as I have. I've also used this blog of mine for "personal reasons" (which mainly focused on my love life) and from there has became a constant reminder of how I was back then. So to celebrate my 50th post, I have decided to look back (or read again) my 49 posts and decided to rank the top 10 best posts ever. I'll be providing insights and comments on my previous posts and hopefully give you an idea how I was back then (inspired or deranged, either of the two). Ranking this list is based plainly on the importance of the topic to me, the way it was written, and pretty much the overall impact it has created in my life (which I doubt I'll be able to provide).

Without further ado (click the title to pop that post up), here are the top 10 posts of Bloggin' with Noel Yulo (WARNING: It is going to be a long read):

10. The One That Started It All

I can't make a Top 10 list without mentioning my first post ever! It was way back 2010, during this time I was still having my review for the Nursing board exam (and why I didn't have 100% focus). During this time, I had an itch to write since I haven't done it for quite some time. I spent my college life writing reflection papers and my classmates' reflection papers that it made me realize how I miss sharing my "life" to the world. I was mainly blogging at Friendster blogs and Multiply (links no longer available) but it never really got a "big time" blog feel to me so I chose to write where most people write (well, most people actually buy domain names, can't afford one). This one is memorable because this is what started it all for me (or started AGAIN for me. I'm a second life-r blogger).

9. My First "Letter" Post

Ahhhh, love. Makes you do things that you normally wouldn't do but you got to if you want to keep your special someone. I normally write here to express my personal thoughts. However, since it was our 6th monthsary at that point, I have to do something romantic so why not go use my blog right (ya cheap bastard)? To show my love and affection to my girlfriend, I decided to write her a letter because 1. Letters are romantic (I'm an old-fashioned guy), 2. I have a bad hand writing (I'm a nurse that writes like a doctor), and 3. It is quite a hassle to make a letter (I'm an old-fashioned new trend guy?). This was quite special because I haven't written anything here about her. Though I had to do a lot of editing to avoid exposing her in the world wide web, this post involved a lot of memories and feelings that we both share (ahhhwww). But, again, due to our circumstances, probably the last (awwwhhh).

8. The Time I Believed Soulmates Are Real

Don't want to go with the details with what happened to us but to give you guys an idea - I felt that I met my soulmate with her (and another possible heartache). On our first date together, I got to learn about a lot of things, or should I say, similarities that we both share. But alas, things didn't work out as she was still in love with her ex, which eventually didn't work out, then I tried again, but she was already seeing someone (toughest New Year's Eve ever). Now, at this point I have written a few poems already to the girls I was in love with, but this one I made for her was quite special because despite the fact that she rejected me, I was totally okay (but was filled with a lot of regrets). I didn't take it hard unlike the past and in a way we're still cool (cool as in friends in Facebook). Do I still believe in soulmates? Well, after her not anymore, but in a good way.

7. My NLE Board Exam Journey

If there is one thing that dominated my first year blogging here in Blogger was my time reviewing, failing, and finally passing the board exam. In any way or thought that I have, I will not fail to post it. I actually have several posts about my journey but good thing past Noel placed links of my posts on this one super final post (which thank God finally ended). The journey for me has been tough because while I was having my review, I was having doubts with myself. And even with the doubts, I wasn't totally focus with my review which led to my demise. Then with everyone passing, I had to carry a huge load of weight just to get over the challenge of retaking the board exam (while I was a working to earn money). Overall, to God's guidance, I was able to get rid of the anchor off my shoulders. It was a great victory like no other and my journey is a testament that anything can happen through Him.

6. The Time I Wrote In Tagalog

Don't worry, I won't write in Tagalog for this one (pero ang saya kasi eh!). I've always loved our national language, but English was the one that I believed that will take me places (so far not yet). So, ever since I started to write and speak (at school, because I was arrogant), English was the medium that I wanted to be good at. And in ways, I think I have accomplished my goal. But when I laid upon my eyes on this man's blog, I instantly wanted to try it out myself. In a weird feeling, I've never had so much fun writing on a particular post. I don't know, I guess it is because Tagalog is my natural language and that it was easy for me to be funny (I believe) in Tagalog medium. Though it is my first time to write one, it certainly won't be the last (kasi feel ko na marami pa akong Tagalog na masasabi!)

5. The End Note Of A Year Long Depression

There's a lot of ways on how I can put a title for this particular event. To put it this way, I was deeply in love with this girl. Actually with all of them but with her, it came with an extra sweetness and bitterness (but not in a "I was bitter way", more of "Too much pain" way). Again, don't want to put that much details between us but when I told her all my feelings and asked if she could be my girlfriend, I pretty much got my first rejection, ever, in the face. It sucked, knowing it took me a year to recover, but in a way that experience taught me a lot of things. And when I decided to write a poem for her (which would become trend every end of the year for three years), I was able to really make a deep poem which covers how my love transpired and how it came to a halt. If I was still single now, this would rank a little bit higher, but I should stop right here before I say too much "bottled up" thoughts, hehe.

4. That Christmas Special About Being Born In Christmas

I always consider my December posts to be "special", especially when it talks about Christmas. And while during the time I made this post, I already have two (one about being depressed on Christmas), I decided to actually talk about how it's like to be born in Christmas. That thought has been with me since my younger days but it took me some 20 years to actually write it down (and probably because I read somewhere about the same topic). It was quite nice because I got to take an in-depth look on how it's like to be a "Noel", and pretty much became my best Christmas special so far.

3. The First Ever "First Anniversary"

Just like my posts about the NLE Board exam, this post serve as a culmination of my first year together with my girlfriend. It also serves as a place for me to share the beginnings of our relationship up until our first year together. And while I opted to go for flowers and gifts for our second anniversary, I can't help but consider this as one of my finest works here in Bloggin' with Noel Yulo. I'm not being bias and at the same time not doing this to just make my girlfriend feel special but to say that this post is important to me because at some point I'll get old (and will probably lose all my memories), at least I have a stronghold, a remembrance, on how my first relationship came to be (a touching story, contact me if you want this to be a movie).

2. The First Collaborative Blog

Having a collaboration blog was something I have always planned to do. And while these two folks who I got to share this post with weren't my first option to write with, I got to say that we probably made something really special here. 286 Views! That pushed my total site views to 17,000+! A remarkable achievement that wouldn't be deemed possible without my two co-trainers, Pal Domanais and Alma Rhea Alojipan. This post was special because it features three people with different styles and personalities, and shared funny and witty POVs (Point of View). I, personally find this post really fun and entertaining to make and read. Though it is quite long, but anyone who can read long stuff will definitely like this collaboration. And oh, did I mention it produced a sequel and with a third one already on the way (hopefully I can insert the link here soon). But with this post, it only makes it possible for me to collab with other bloggers out there.

1. The One That Sink In Hard

I mentioned earlier that Bloggin' with Noel Yulo serve to be a tool for me to be funny (though again isn't proven), but there were times in which I wasn't. Though I have another blog which is quite focus on serious stuff, I wrote something here three years ago that is a reflection on how hard it was for me back then to cope up with life. I was still a call center agent during this time. Though already a board passer, I felt that I was punishing myself in a job that I really didn't want and be in a position where I didn't want to be (because I wanted to be a nurse dammit!). And through it all, I survived, but during this time, I felt I was going to explode. I was having a "21-year old" life crisis and I felt that if I can't find a resolution, I will become a madman (a madman I tells ya!). There were just so much weight put into this that it didn't only focus with one aspect of my life, it focused on three (but a lot when you slice it up). Out of all the posts that I have written here, this is my #1 as not only it reflects my personal side, but also shows that I am only human, vulnerable even when I have been strong before (hopefully this part isn't too serious for you, laugh!).

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So there you go, my Top 10 posts so far here in Bloggin with Noel Yulo. If you are reading this, whether you are a newcomer or nah, I just want to personally say THANK YOU for taking a time of your life reading about someone else's life. I know it is quite a long post (but what's new really), but if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be writing anymore. Or maybe I would still be writing but with less motivation, (because all of you give meaning to my life!). I am not getting paid to write, nor I plan to write to get paid (because I don't know how to write professionally), but as long people read my stuff and I get to share my thoughts (and wisdom?), that is good enough for me. After 50 posts, definitely looking forward for more posts to come. As long as I can write about something (and trust me there is always something to write about), Bloggin' with Noel Yulo will live forever!!!

I'm glowing inside because of you.

That Thing Called "Katangahan": How NOT to be stupid this Love Month (featuring Pal and Alma)

2015-02-07T19:42:00.001+08:00

Hey there! Before I start I just want to welcome everyone to my first ever "collab blog" or collaboration blog in which I will be featuring other people to write in my blog. Of course, we will be talking about a particular topic and pretty much just give insights that can hopefully help you in some way. For this post I'll be featuring my two co-trainers, Alvin "Pal" Domanais (you can check his blog at palaplap.blogspot.com) and Alma Rhea Alojipan (check hers in mynameisalmarhea.blogspot.com). For starters, kindly introduce yourselves!

________________________

My name is Pal.

An amateur, self-taught dilettante who formerly owns a blog written in Tagalog medium. I'm currently busy with other hobbies so you might not be able to see my blog as updated as this one owned by Noel. Since my wit only shows in my tongue, I'll be contributing articles in Tagalog after this intro.

When asked what my blog site is.

_________________________

My name is Alma Rhea and I say Hi! :)

I'm not really into writing. I don't know how to write but I love to read. Read, read and read, makes sense. Oh well, currently I am busy mending my broken heart since I'm following a thread of being brokenhearted every 5 months! Isn't it amazing? I'm not quiet sure though how long will be I writing on this blog but I think you'll see me often. I'll write about anything, anything that I can remember.

_________________________

And there you go, my good friends at work, Pal and Alma. Alright! Let's get this show going. Now, as we all know, February has been known as "The Love Month". I prefer to treat it as another month but hey, tradition right? And most people for this month get crazy, for good and mostly bad reason.

A: Being crazy is an understatement! February! Love month! Hated by singles and loved by those who are in a relationship(like duh!). Nothing lasts forever, #reality check(insert bitterness here).

With that being said, we here "self-proclaimed" love gurus are going to teach you kids stuff about how to have a better February. This goes both to single and "doubles" out there because no one is safe from the love bug and love has been known to make you do stupid things, right Alma?

A: I'm not quiet sure Noel, as far as I can remember I never did something stupid because of LOVE. I see to it that I take control, and no I don't need you to say anything(wink). I've seen a lot of people crying over a lost love, regretting past relationships and people wishing for another chance. Saying this I feel like I would be of a great help specially on this month!

So without further ado, here are some things you can take note of to avoid getting stupid or do anything "katangahan" this month:

1. February is February. It is just another month.

Let's start with the obvious. People get crazy when February comes. And you may be able to find a lot of reasons why but the obvious one being is that everyone is celebrating St. Valentine's birthday (I think that's the origin of it). But to be specific, this is when Valentine's day is celebrated, on the 14th to be specific (don't know why they just make it on the 29th). Now, tradition has it that on St. Valentine's feast, couples show their affections by giving flowers, expressing oh-so poetic messages and handing out greetings cards (pretty much stuff your grade school teacher made as an assignment back then). And with that, people just got an idea on marketing love and thus we see hearts everywhere. But reality is, February is just another month. It's just the second month of the year. Most likely you haven't really started your new year's resolution to get fit so might as well start on that one now (guilty as charge, don't judge me).

P: Noong bata ako, ipinagtataka ko kung bakit madalas ay hanggang 29 lang ang petsa sa kalendaryo pag-dating ng Pebrero. Noong itinanong ko to kay ermats, sabi niya lang na ang buwan daw ng Pebrero ay para sa mga kulang-kulang na tao. Si Kris Aquino ang una niyang ibinigay na example - hindi na ako humirit.

Hindi ko sigurado kung sino ang nagpa-uso ng Valentines na yan. Mula kasi Kinder ako, puro pag-gupit lang ng art paper na pula (na hugis puso) ang inaatupag naming magkaka-klase kaya akala ko ay titser ko lang ang nag-imbento ng Valentines. Pinagdodrowing niya din kami noon ng post-cards para sa Valentines. Tangina, sino ba yang Valentines na yan? Kinder pa lang kami, puro kalandian na agad ang pinapagawa sa amin. Dinaig pa ng titser ko si Marcelo Santos III.

Sa ngayon, ang alam ko lang ay ma-trapik na lansangan, at sari-sari ang mga promo sa motel kapag ganitong buwan.

Sa Pasay, may libreng manok at pansit kapag lumagpas ka ng 6 hours kapag Feb 14. Sa Cubao naman, bukod sa FREE WIFI, libre mo ding makikita ang mga killer bus at mga isnatcher na mabilis tumakbo kapag sumilip ka sa bintana ng kwarto niyo.

Pero lahat ng mga motel experiences na naka-sulat, kwento lang sakin. ;) Chos.

A: What's so special with February? Aside from having this as my mother's birth month this month is nothing but another month. Please pretty please, help me understand what makes this month different from January and March and the other months? The heart shape balloons everywhere? The human size teddy bears on sale? What else? Is it because we are celebrating Chinese new year as well?

Oh well,February is really unusual aside from the fact that it only has 28 days sometimes 29 days, people regarded this month as the month of love, celebrating the COUPLES Holiday, the Valentines day, this day as well is like the National day of mourning for those who are brokenhearted, taken for granted and left behind by people who promised them FOREVER!

But, if you're to ask me? Nothing is so different about this month. It's not even that special. For graduating students, it means thesis time and for those people who are already on the verge of their stable jobs, its a month with no long weekends and less holidays!

In ancient times, February is about spending the entire month talking to your neighbor while your wife cuts down trees while flying fishes roam the skies.

2. Love yourself and not much the person that doesn't love you.

When I browse Facebook every February, I usually see people posting stuff such as "Oh, its February again! Heart heart heart!" or "Single again this V-day. When will you come my love?" (or the occasional "SINGLE AWARENESS DAY!! WOO!! SINGLES REJOICE"). It depends on what is your current relationship status. But here is a very straight-to-the-point-obvious-advice, try to prioritize yourself. Love yourself in other words. It's a common reaction to get busy for Feb. 14. You go about your life just trying to plan what you'll do on that day. Mostly applies to ones who are in a relationship since you want to make your other one feel special. But for the single ones, don't stress yourself out. Again, you are single, you want to talk about love, then love yourself. Don't talk about the past relationships you had or the wonderful Valentine's last year that you want to re-create. For couples, just make sure that you can make your love one feel - loved. You don't need to do that on top of Mt. Everest, be simple, be plain, but direct to the point.

P: a. Marunong ka ba mag-saing? Ako marunong.
b. Masarap ang French Fries sa Mcdo, lalo na kapag catsup ng Jollibee ang sawsawan.
k. Kunin ang handset sa Avaya. Hawakan ng dalawang kamay. Ilagay sa dibdib at yakapin. Damhin . ang pagkakataon. Lagyan ng facial expression, pumikit habang dinadama.
d. Gupitin ang kuko, ipunin. Ihalo sa Milo.

Ilang minutong therapy lang yan para makalimot sa pait ng pagka-bigo sa pag-ibig. Ilang linya din yan para humaba ang collaboration piece ko sa blog na ito.

Sa mga may pag-ibig sa darating na ika-14 ng Pebrero, happy new year muli sa inyo.

Sa mga iniwan, walang pumatol, o mga ipinagpalit para sa iba (na di mo rin alam paano nangyari), gugulin ang araw sa mga bagay na maglalayo ng isip mo sa pagiging bigo. Dahil sa palagay ko ay walang taong nasasaktan kapag hindi niya iniisip ang sakit. Ang unang 4 na letra sa seksyong ito ay makakatulong.

A: Common status on all social media networks on the first day of February would be "Time flies so fast, it's the first day of March." What's wrong with this people? Full of bitterness and all.

If you have been lied upon and used like a doormat, learn to walk out. Don't let those people find the satisfaction in hurting you and making you cry. You ain't stupid right? Learn to value yourself and yourself alone. It may hurt for a while but you'll get over it. Trust me, no one died out of a broken heart(or else I might have been dead). It's better to be alone than being with someone who makes you feel you're alone. It's better to end up with nothing rather than waiting for something that will never happen.

Save yourself before it's too late. Save yourself from drowning, learn how to swim! Love is never fair. At the end of the day you only have you and you alone. VALUE yourself. If you learn to do this you'll never run out of love and being alone won't scare the hell out of you! Check on what you have rather than what you don't have. You'll realize you're far more on a better road than some people! So stop acting like, being rejected is like the end of the world, coz its not. The only time it will end, is if you're already dead!

It is time we make #selfhug trend.

3. Flowers rot. Chocolates become shit. So mind your money.

This one is mainly for the doubles out there. I'll be honest, I'm not as romantic as I was before. I barely even try to make things romantic. I can point out a lot of things such as old experiences or just plainly running out of money (cheapskate!) but there is quite an obvious point to this - you don't need money to have a honey. While giving out flowers is sweet and handing out chocolates could probably make them visit the toilet later, love can be expressed more in a much better (and cheaper) way. You can go about writing a letter, or carving a message on a tree (use coconut to impress) or even by shouting to the world that you love him/her (you might be classified as crazy though). Just be creative and don't stick with the cliche tactics. Your partner would really appreciate the thoughtfulness that you have given and will probably win you a trip to wonderland (*wink*)! Unless she wants diamonds then you are screwed.

P: Bumili ka ng Teddy Bear, yung kulay puti. Di yun mabubulok o magiging ebak sa pang-matagalang panahon unless itanim mo sa lupa, o kakainin mo.

Kung pagiging creative din naman ang trip mo sa buhay, pwede kang bumili ng Pampers at ibigay yun sa kasintahan mo. Sa pag-tagal ng panahon at relasyon ninyong dalawa, pwede niyong gawing relationship goal ang pag-iisip ng matinong dahilan kung bakit 'yun ang naisip mong iregalo. Iba pang suhestyon ay ang mga sumusunod:

Vulca Seal, Kurtina, Hollowblocks, Sipilyo ng random na tao mula sa isang resort, Styro Cup mula sa isa sa mga customer ng paborito niyong kapehan, expired na toyo, tubig mula sa beach, stool kit, stool.

A: I love chocolates! I would love anyone who would give me one!

Flowers? I can't remember when was the last time I received a bouquet of roses on a Valentines day. I don't care though. I hate flowers, lol! You can't measure love with chocolates and flowers. The rule is simple, if you can't afford to buy gifts then don't. A walk in the park, watching the moon and stars would be a great date. If you can't afford to buy a bouquet of flowers, try to pick a flower from your mothers garden, that would be the sweetest. Remember girls would always appreciate efforts above gifts.

A sweet gift for Valentine's a.k.a. in the trash after a week.

4. Love is 24/7, not just 2/14.

This is probably my biggest grip of them all. Young me would always look for something extravagant to do on Valentine's, but as I grew I realized (and I think you know where I'm going with this), why do people always treat Feb. 14 a special day when they can just choose another day for that? "But it's Valentine's", bull. 2/14 is just another day so there's no need to stress yourself out. Love should be expressed every single day, not just on one day. Overall, just be the normal you without you being abnormal on one particular day (where most people are abnormal as well).

P: Mag-toothbrush ka araw-araw. Pre-requisite yan para sa mahabang relasyon. Miski bihira ka maligo, mag-toothbrush ka pa din. Sapat na ang maputing ngipin pamalit sa masamang budhi.

Sabado ang Feb 14, 2015. Hindi enjoy mag-sine dahil siguradong may nauna na sa KKK (Kataas-taasan Kadilim-dilimang, Kasuluk-sulukan) at posibleng walang ninjahang magaganap. Kung makiki-epal ka pa din sa Valentines Day, siguraduhin mo munang may kilala kang nagpapa-anak para di ka masyadong mahirapan pag-dating ng Nobyembre. 24/7 naman ang mga convenience store at may proteksyon sa halagang 38Php. Mag-ingat at manigong bagong taon.

A: Love. A very strong feeling that will drive you crazy if you don't know how to control it. Love, you should be feeling this everyday not just on a special day. Don't make people feel special on 2/14 and forget everything about it on 2/15.
May it be a new or an old relationship, it has always been important that you make the person you love feel special everyday. That should be your everyday goal. That should be included on your everyday agenda. Love like pain demands to be felt.

This is how your calendar looks like. Not really sure if it is a calendar but you get the point.

_________________________

FINAL WORDS:

P: Walang forever. Kung meron man, sa pila lang ng NBI at sa enrollment sa PUP ito matatagpuan. Paminsan-minsan ay nasa kahabaan din ito ng EDSA, mga bandang alas-sais kapag uwian na ng lahat.

Kung ano man ang trip mong gawin sa 14, bahala ka. Pera mo 'yan, malaki ka na.

A: Love has always been a two way process. Mutualism. It doesn't apply the law of survival of the fittest. If you want what you have to last then work hard, but make sure you have left something for yourself. Being in a relationship is not like a walk in the park, you would encounter humps, but then whats worth it doesn't come easy.

For those who will be celebrating 2/14 with their special someone, I should say congrats, happy heart and happy life, and for those who will be celebrating it alone, chill and relax, soon we'll find our own heart-heart and butterflies.

Honestly, how you run February 14 is up to you. All we are trying to say is to take things into perspective and don't get lost in the hype that is Valentine's Day. Yes, it is a special day, deep inside you want to do something and even we also have some thoughts about it. But always remember that the essence of love shouldn't be just in one particular day, it should be for the remaining days or time that you have. Don't squander your money to be romantic (unless you're filthy rich), go with the things that matter and that will truly show how much you love someone. And if you're single, hey, you still have your family, you still have your friends, I think your crush is still single so show them your love. Be thankful that you actually have a day to live by. With that being said, we hope you do not run stupid this Valentine's day because - you can always be stupid on another day. EVERY DAY CAN BE VALENTINE'S DAY!!!

Let's not try to pretend what this day is actually is for the majority.

A Planner's Guide to Better Planning

2015-01-29T19:40:00.002+08:00

Unofficially, I consider myself a planner. Not a notebook to write plans on but a plan-er, an architect of a particular party or event of sorts. I wasn't bestowed this title, but for some reason I'm the guy that everyone sets up to plan stuff. While I've been accustomed to this task, trust me, it is hard to plan a "plan". Why is that?

People are lazy.
People like to change their minds.
People who ask you to plan would later dismiss your plan because it doesn't suit their taste.
People don't like to have the stress of planning something but doesn't have the initiative to follow it.
People are people (and yes you should buy new clothes I guess).

Through it all, I always take the burden of planning a concise plan only for my plan to be treated as trash. I USED BRAIN CELLS PEOPLE! I analyze stuff and expect my plan to push through (this is not a rant, okay maybe a little). But hey, I'm use to it. So for all you guys out there who wants to be a planner of your group or is "planning" to make a plan, here are my tips to be a successful planner:

Planner not needed.

1. Be engaged - First thing you need to do is step your foot and say "I AM IN CHARGE BITCHES!" (unless you are in a Christian group then just change the last word) You need to make the people realize that your plan is the ONLY plan that they will follow or hell will break lose (again if you are in a Christian group then use another biblical passage). It is important for people to understand that you are in command so that there won't be any confusion on who to follow. You need to be quite active about this because you are the heart and brain of this plan (and sometimes the liver if you plan to include alcohol). Without you, someone else would probably do the planning (and we don't want that) so man up and make sure this plan is good to go.

Yeah you the man in charge!

2. Get commitment - Before you plan the specifics of your event or outing, you need to make sure that everyone is on board. You may be the heart and brain of this operation, but a body wouldn't be complete without arms, legs, eyes and ears (including penis and vagina a.k.a. your horny friends). The approach could be different and would vary from each person in your group. You can try the personal approach (e.g. Hey man, I'll be planning our event next Saturday. I need you to support me on this or this plan will be fucked up. Don't make me hurt you.). Or you can go ahead and message them through text or online (e.g. Planing a party dis sat!!! Expecting every1 2 participate. Dont make me hurt u.) It's all about making them understand that you are the head dog in charge and they are expected to follow through.

3. Note all options, check all options - Now this is the crucial part. You need to know now what you are going to plan about (because you are the planner right?!). Mostly, planning is made for happenings such as an out of town trip or your birthday (because no one wants to surprise you on your birthday you poor thing). Options will vary as well depending on certain factors such as budget, time, and availability of people (unless you don't have friends then this wouldn't be a problem). For starters, ask people about what they think. As a planner, as much as you are the one doing the planning, you need to know the preferences of the people involved especially if it is an outing. List all their ideas (even if they suck) and once done, try to do some research about their suggestions. Most of it will be ignored anyways so let them feel involved. Once everything is settled, sort out which is the best option of them all and start working on it (which is of course, your preference).

Just like love, it is made of ocean water and offers tons of fishes.

4. Provide a systematic plan - If possible, use an Excel for this (if you are poor, paper and pen will do). First thing you need to work on is the agenda. Put some time frame for it. Let's say you'll start of 6AM and then allot an hour to wait for people. And then provide another time frame for the next thing you are going to to for the day up until your day ends:

6:00AM-7:00AM - Circle Time
7:00AM-7:30AM - Travel to Bus Station
7:30AM-8:00AM - Wait again for those lazy-ass losers
8:00AM-8:10AM - Contemplate on just going by yourself
8:10AM-10:00AM - Travel time to place
10:00AM-10:01AM - Receive a text saying they decided to go to another place
10:01AM-End of day - Weep like a bitch

Next is the budget. You can't do stuff without money so it is important to make sure your cost is balanced. From breakfast to lunch to dinner, your fares and all additional costs should be accounted:

Breakfast - PHP50.00
Lunch - Ask some from friends
Dinner - PHP20.00, and if possible ask some from friends
Fare (Round trip) - PHP100.00, if friends won't lend money, walk
Total: PHP170.00 and donations (SAVINGS!!!)

Once everything is settled, prepare for people to have some input. Some (and I mean almost all of them) would be late so you need to bump the circle time to 8AM and your friend's budget is short as well, so, good luck with that. Changing the plan is part of the job until you can finalize a perfect plan.

5. Have a Plan B - Of course, as hard as you plan, not all plans will push through. Especially with a friend who out of no where has an ~~excuse~~ emergency or a natural calamity has destroyed the venue that you are about to go to. You need to prepare yourself another plan. You mostly would go back to Step 3, look for the next best option, create a plan and go for it (which sadly is your other friend's plan).

6. Prepare for the worst - This is something that hits me a lot (and most likely to you too). As good as it is to have a Plan B, often times, there aren't even plans that can be push through at all. At times if a plan is cancelled, then the whole outing or party is cancelled. What's worst, they might go to another person's plan. You are left exhausted, unappreciated, which leads us to...

7. If #6 happens, don't plan anymore - Look, it is always nice to plan, but if nothing really pushes trough, then hey, just be a good scout and follow whatever plan is made. You may not like it, but at least there isn't that much pressure on you if everything goes haywire (and I know you'll be hoping for that).

Two is company, three is a crowd. Four is just pushing hard. Go home.

Being a planner is never easy. It takes a lot of toll on you and sometimes, no plans even transpire. But the important this is to try, push through with it, and learn from it so that your next plan would be awesome. Planning is a hit and miss, but anyone can be good at it. Heck, you can even make it as a career. Just remember that planning takes a lot of thinking. Never believe in the saying "that most plans that push through are not plans at all." That's #YOLO. So go and take all these tips to be a successful planner, who knows, it MIGHT just be good enough to be a success.

A more "magnificent" planner than you.

5 Realistic and Reachable New Year's Resolution for 2015

2015-01-08T22:38:00.000+08:00

It's already January 8. Good thing "make new year's resolution on time" is not on my new year's resolution.

New Year's resolutions are actually quite tricky. Year by year you are able to think of things you want to change in your life, and yet you still find yourself doing the same things all over again. If you are one of those people that can't seem to live by with the resolutions you make, chances are you're not trying anymore nowadays. Hey I can't blame you. Last time I wrote was still way back 2011 and even then the resolutions I made didn't make sense. So before 2014 ended, I thought to myself "Why do people keep making glorified resolutions when half of it they can't barely keep up?" "Why can't they just DO something that they THINK they can do?!" I still feel that its good to make new year's resolution, so after some meditating, here are the most realistic and reachable resolutions you can have for 2015:

Everyone in the world is messed-up in their own way. A change is something that we all need. Yeah, no excuses buddy.

1. Eating just the "enough" amount of food for you

Okay, I think you can agree on me on this one -- "FOOD IS LOVE". It's something that we can't easily avoid. If there is food that we want to eat, hey #YOLO, go ahead and eat whatever you want. But unless you have the metabolism of Superman, you're probably one those folks who have a big bun in front of you. Look, to say that you should diet is actually a 2nd Tier-level of commitment. So, if you're just a regular joe who's not yet ready to beast up, then just eat what is enough. Some people start off by limiting their rice (or any carbs you are really into). Drink more water as well to help you get full easily and stick more with fruits. If you feel that you're full, that's it. The important thing here is that you don't go beyond on what you're suppose to intake in a day. You're doing your body a huge favor and probably by due time you can go and fulfill the diet you usually tell yourself that you can accomplish (oh you big fat liar you).

2. Do physical activities regularly

Sex. Yeah there I said it. Do as much sex as you like (unless you are still studying or below the right age then no, stop reading this blog and go read a book or something). Okay, to explain this R-18 resolution, its not more of the sex, its about doing physical activities (and I think you can agree that it is -- unless you're still a virgin then I suggest you watch a video or something). To eat properly is right, but it is important for our body to sweat from time to time. Play sports, go exercise, lift weights, do some gardening, clean your house, be late from time to time so that you'll have the need to run to work, just do make sure that you can do physical activities to trim down the big bun in front of you. Every one knows that an exercise here and there is good for the body. It's either you work your ass off or you die young. And no, to sweat under the sun isn't counted, so go out there MOVE!!!

3. Save a specific amount of money

When you usually say "I'm going to save up money for next year.", it only gives you a reason to make excuses such us "I don't really know how much I'll save so I'll just spend money for the mean time." The idea here is "to have a goal". If you aren't that particular with your expenses, then it's time to have a certain purpose. Now, it can mean a lot of things. You might want to save up for the future or you might want to save up for a particular event or gadget. Whatever it is, always have a certain goal so that you'll have a certain amount of money to save up. It could be the hundreds, thousands or millions but whatever you may be earning now, work around on your budget and achieve that goal. It gives you a better perspective then just to say "I'll save up money". I can say I'll save a cat from the tree, but I can always say I'll do it tomorrow right? DO IT TODAY! Save 10,000 cats!!!

4. Learn or develop something new

Humans are pieces of meat that has infinite capabilities of doing extraordinary things. Since little children we have been taught a lot of things up until we grew up to being adults. But most of us stop learning from there. Most teachers limit themselves to teacher things, nurses to nursing things, carpenters to carpenter things, porn stars to... porn things. You get the point. We can't just limit ourselves in a particular type, we need to grow, develop new things. If you're a police, hey, try to learn potting and who knows, you can now make pots that you can use for target practice. If you're a doctor and you want to dance gracefully then go ahead, learn ballet and tip toe yourself around the busy hallways of the hospital. Again, develop something within you. Learn something new. Go to Youtube or read whatever, just don't be you forever. Be a much better and talented you!

5. Motivate yourself to be a better you

At this point, you might have realized that the resolution above are something basic and you can still add up on it. True, you can always make your own set of resolutions for the new year. Like I said earlier, it's easy to make one but it's quite challenging to do. But all of those talk about changing and doing things won't really be possible if you don't push yourself in actually doing it. You need to find it in you to motivate yourself in actually seeking that change in your life because plans can be cancelled and ignored. This is actually the hardest part and something not on most people's resolution list. Mind you, this is not a goal but a mindset. If you can motivate yourself, you can do anything (well not really anything but you can now accomplish your new year's resolution).

A good friend of mind pointed out that you can always deny yourself with the changes that you want, eating right, losing weight, improving yourself, it tends to be easy. But when you surpass the doubts, the mountains that you need to climb, then by the end of this year you can pretty much say that "Wow, resolutions actually work!" Yeah it does. We just live with procrastinating lazy people. Which in a way is okay since the world has always been like that. But we only have one life, and at some point we are just going to be dirt. Might as well be an amazing dirt right? So there, those are the realistic and reachable new year's resolution that you can set for 2015. It guarantees result because c'mon, its as basic as it gets. Whatever happens to you by the end of this year, just promise yourself that you are going to try, and who knows, you MIGHT just become a somebody. Happy New Year you future dirt you!

We can always start fresh anytime. But hey, January is usually the best time I guess.

Being Noel: What is like to be born on Christmas

2014-12-24T15:55:00.000+08:00

Before anything else I would like to say that is GOOD TO BE BACK! Damn it has been a while since the last time I blog. I do plan to start blogging in a constant basis next year as I feel like I have a lot of unexpressed ideas. I will probably post about it and some plans I have in mind before the year ends and hopefully everything pushes through. I do miss blogging, but writer's block has been a common issue for me before so it's nothing new.

So going back to the regular schedule, we are only one day away from Christmas. Looking back, I've only made 2-3 posts about Christmas (and one of those is about being heart-broken, pffft). I want to write something meaningful and with depth about Christmas that after some thoughtful reflections (and after reading a few Christmas articles), I realized that "Hey, I am practically a walking Christmas topic, why don't I talk about myself?" And shall I did. Unbeknownst to some of you, I wasn't given the name Noel just so I will be named Noel. Noel actually means "born in Christmas" and yeah you might have guessed it, I was born on Christmas day. Now, I don't want to go to the biblical history of December 25 nor the other implications that it shouldn't be the holiday that we know today. Let's just stick with the story and go along with it (because at this point in history no one cares to change it).

Anyways, tomorrow is going to be my 24th birthday. Pretty much that is 24 years of my life celebrating Christmas and my birthday at the same day. As a kid, its always a kicker whenever someone finds out that I was born on Christmas. "Wow! You were born on Christmas? Sweet!" Now, a lot of people are born on particular holidays, but there is always something special whenever your birth date says December 25 or as what I call Christmas-born. Being delivered on this day isn't that rare as well, a lot of people are born on Christmas and yet are just regular joes. But as a Noel "Born in Christmas" person, I want to share with you all what it's like to be born in Christmas. So here are five things that you will most likely experience if you were born on Christmas:

Hitting two birds with one special stone

1. You only get one special day - As a particular year starts, most people look forward for their birthday. Some, especially when its the "-ber" months, look forward for Christmas. Some, which pretty much is everyone, looks forward for both. See, most people have two special days to look forward to (unless you don't believe in Christmas and don't care about life) while us Christmas-born only have one special day to look forward to (unless we declare a day special in which I think we can). And as we all know, when its your birthday or Christmas, there is one thing that is usually common which brings us to...

2. Gifts. You don't get that much. - A lot of people say that Christmas-born people are the most convenient and money-saving people to give gifts to. Why? It's because all you need to do is get that person one gift. Now, I often hear these from people saying "Well you might only get a few gifts but it is open very special right?" While that might be the case, I've only experience that from my tito who gives me 1,000 pesos while my cousins get 500 bucks. But they get 500 bucks on their birthdays so it is more of fair play. Nothing really special and the rest gives me just regular gifts. I am appreciative with whatever I get but yeah, gifts don't often come along that much. There's no "Hey, this is the only thing I got for your birthday, I'll make it up to you on Christmas" and vice versa. You only have one day, you only get one gift (if they want to).

3. People tend to forget its your birthday. Sorry. - Look, majority of Earth's population is vastly celebrating on December 25. Everyone is with their family, friends and whoever you get to dance with on bars open for Christmas. Christmas-born people are usually with a particular group which is either family or friends so most likely you'll only be greeted by the people you are with, unless people remember you. And got to say, thanks to Facebook people have the chance to greet you on your special day. But here's the sad part. Unless you were the class jock or clown back in college, there's a huge chance they won't even give a shit to greet you even if you're name is on the today's birthday. But it's okay, they are not oblige to greet you. People are busy, they are out their celebrating and that's reality. On top of that, this day isn't really totally about you...

4. Its about the birth of Jesus, its about Christmas not yours. - Unless you are not a Catholic and doesn't believe in our Lord Jesus Christ (well most likely you wouldn't really care about Christmas), then you have to take a backseat to the big guy above us. As what I mentioned earlier, I don't want to go biblical if 12/25 is really Christmas or not. I believe it is so and that's it. He is the First Noel. He is the reason why we celebrate Christmas. On top of that, people use the imagery of Santa Claus and not yours (St. Nick, errr, yeah, he did something). It is essential to understand that though the special day is overshadowed, it is still special day to share it with Jesus. So I guess that going well for us Christmas-born people which is nice. Best of all, we get to...

5. You get the chance to make that day special for everyone - Christmas-born are often unsung heroes for the holiday season because everyone looks at you as a living, breathing representation of Santa Claus (especially when you're fat). You are often given the task to hand out small gifts to every one and though it might seem like a chore, isn't it the point of Christmas? Two years ago I decided to be a Santa Clause to my family using my own resources. Though I went with the assorted "perfume" gifts, it felt special because for a kid that used to complain about only getting few gifts, it means a lot to give some. It's not about what you get, its how about the smiles that you get from people (and the fake smiles because you gave them a pack of candies. Who gives pack of candies on Christmas? It's not Halloween).

Being born on Christmas day may depend on someone, Might be a good or bad thing, just a toss coin. But the most important thing to remember is to celebrate Christmas and what it is all about. You can be born in any day as long as you learn to give to others without looking for anything in return. As what an old song says, Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year, and I don't care who you are, Christmas is also the most wonderful time to be born. :)

Kasi idol ko magsulat si Pal, magtatagalog ako! (at kung paano maging manunulat sa internet)

2014-03-31T14:53:00.000+08:00

Hello.

Bago ako magsimula, gusto ko muna magpakilala (in tagalog). Ako nga pala si Noel Christian y Manloza y Posas y Olalo y Yulo o tawagin niyo na lamang ako sa pangalang NOEL YULO. Ako'y dalawangpu't tatlong taong gulang at nag tatrabaho sa isang call center bilang guro (ewan ko anong tagalog ng trainer) dito sa syudad ng Dabaw. Sa aking mga taga subaybay (kung meron man), kadalasan nagsusulat ako ng ingles sa blog kung ito ukol sa mga bagay2x ng buhay ko (kasi ganun ako ka importante sa pananaw ko). Sa ngayon, iibahin ko muna ang timpla kasi...wala lang, gusto ko lng ma-iba.

DISCLAIMER: HINDI AKO MAGALING MAG TAGALOG. PERO ILANG BESES NA AKO NAPAGKAMALAN DATI NA GALING NG MAYNILA SO BAKA PWEDE NA RIN ITONG TAGALOG KO.

Sabihin na rin natin sigurong may tao akong hinahangaan ngayon. Pangalan niya pala ay ALVIN DOMANAIS or simply "Pal" na galing ng Maynila. Sa totoo lang di ko talaga alam bakit yan palayaw niya pero yun tawag nila sa kanya eh so yun na rin sinunod ko. Kapwa trainer ko si Pal at kahit halos araw2x kami nagkikita at nag-uusap, di kami ganun ka close. Magaling ang taong ito sa maraming bagay tulad ng rate codes (taga Comcast lang makakaintindi), pagkuha ng mga larawan (photographer ang boy na ito) at higit sa lahat, magaling mag sulat (sa internet. Maganda rin hand-writing niya.) Kakailan lamang nung nalaman ko na nagsusulat pala itong si Pal at may sariling blog. Tulad ko, minsan na lang din siya nagsusulat eh kasi busy sa trabaho. Ang malaking kaibahan lang sa aming dalawa ay kahit minsan lang siya magsulat, ala eh ilang daan na tao ang magbabasa ng blog niya pagkatapos niya ito i-post sa Facebook. Di ko alam kung artista ba ito dati pero sadyang ang daming kaibigan ng taong ito (kaya siguro pangalan niya Pal).

Ganyan man siya, pero daming babaeng nagkakagusto sa taong ito.

Pero hindi talaga dahil sa rami ng kaibigan niya kaya maraming nagbabasa sa blog niya, may angking talento talaga ang taong ito sa pagsusulat. At kadalasan ang mga sinusulat niya ay may kabuluhan or ika nga "Makes a lot...no, BIG of sense." Ewan ko, pansin ko lang na kapag aktibista ang isang tao kapag nagsusulat kakaiba talaga ang dating. Ilang beses ko na ito napansin sa ibang mga Pinoy bloggers diyan na may lahing aktibista rin. Dumurugo talaga ang ilong ko sa lalim ng tagalog nila na kahit ako medyo dinurugo na din ang ilong sa kababasa lang ng tagalog ko. At isa pa, kakaiba ang presentasyon ng mga sinusulat nila. May naka BOLD, UNDERLINE at ~~STRIKETHROUGH~~ (common ang Italic kasi ginagamit ko din eh). Kaya sa sobrang hanga ko sa pagsusulat niya, kinalulugod kung sabihin na kokopyahin ko ang istilo ni Pal sa post kung ito eh kasi sabi nga sa title ko, idol ko siya magsulat, eh di gagayahin ko siya. Alam ko may batas tungkol sa "Copyright Infringement" pero sana naman di niya ako kasuhan. Pal, san ka man ngayon, pagbigyan mo na ako at dahil diyan may free plug-in ka....

MABABASA NIYO ANG NAPAKA RAKENROL NA BLOG NI PAL SA:

http://palaplap.blogspot.com/

Salamat idol!

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Napag-usapan na lang man din natin si Pal tungkol sa pagsusulat niya, pag-usapan na lang din natin kung paano magsulat sa internet. UNA SA LAHAT...marahil di ka blogger. Siguro nakita mo lang ang post kung ito sa Facebook at naisipan mong "Aba, tagalog ang blog ni Noel, mabasa nga." Or siguro na pindot mo lang na walang kamalay2x at dahil na load na ay binabasa mo na lang. Matagal na akong blogger. High school pa lang ako mahilig na ako magsulat. Sa Friendster blogs pa lang ako dati kasi yun pa ang "Facebook" noon. Siyempre tumagalan, nawala ang Friendster, nag lipat bahay na rin ako sa pag-blog ko. Una kung sinubukan sa Tumblr eh kasi mahilig mag repost ang mga kaklase ko nang kung anong-anong pictures. Tapos sinubukan ko din mag Blogger kasi parang yung ang pinakasikat eh. At dahil di pa ako kuntento, nag Wordpress na ako para sabihin nilang tanyag ako na blogger na may tatlong blog.

Motto ko sa blogging. AKA "Dahil wala ako kausap magsusulat na lng ako."

HINDI AKO TANYAG NA BLOGGER. PERO PANGARAP KO MAGING. Tulad niyo nagsimula rin ako na walang ideya kung paano magsulat sa internet. Kaya bilang blogger sa tingin ko responsibilidad ko na ipamahagi ang mga nalalaman ko tungkol sa blogging. Di naman mahirap ang pag blog. Walang math. Walang science. Pwera na lang kung yun ang gusto mo pag-usapan pero sa tingin ko boring yan. Mga simpleng tips lang naman ang ibibigay ko para hindi kayo mahirapan (at nakakapagod mag sulat ng mahaba kaya intindihin niyo na lang. Matatalino naman kayo. Uyyyy nag-blush!):

1. Internet. Basic necessity ito tsong. Eh kasi magsusulat kayo sa internet malamang kailangan niyo ng internet connection diba? Di naman kailangan mabilis ang net niyo kasi matagal mag blog. Kailangan mo pa mag-isip at kung hindi naman sanay mga daliri mo sa kakatype eh di okay na. TRUST ME, dial-up lang net namin dati pero nakaka blog ako kahit papaano. Mahigit sa lahat, magagamit mo rin ang internet pang research mo sa isusulat mo or di kaya pang hanap mo ng picture. Huwag na huwag ka lang madidistract at aabutin ka ng isang buwan para sa isang sentence dahil lang gusto mo manood ng Youtube (at porn. Kala niyo di ko sasabihin? Lokohin niyo pa lolo niyo alam ko!)

2. Blog site. So tapos kana manood? Okay, ang susunod mo na gagawin ay maghanap ng maganda site kung saan ka pwede mag sulat. Maraming blog site ang pwede mo pag pilian. Kung may Google ka, ang ma-inam mong piliin ay ang Blogger kasi Google integrated ito. Kung mahilig ka naman sa pictures, sa Tumblr ka na lang mag blog. Kung gusto mo naman na medyo sophisticated ang dating (at wala kang Gmail), sa Wordpress ka na lang. At kung choosy kapa at ayaw mo gamitin yung mga sinabi ko, eh mag search ka na lng. Siguro naman kaya mo na yan gawin diba? Ang importante ay kumportable ka sa pagsulat dito na site at hindi ka malilito sa paggamit nito.

3. Istilo...or STYLE. Ang tao iba't-iba. Ang iba mahilig sa komiks, ang iba naman mahilig sa cartoons. Ang iba gusto lang manood ng TV, ang iba gusto mag DVD. Ang iba gusto ng mestiso/mestisa, ang iba gusto ng exotic (tanungin mo ang mga 'kano kung bakit). For short, iba2x ang taste natin so malamang iba2x rin tayo magsulat. Kaya bilang isang blogger, kailangan may sarili kang style. Ano ba gusto mo? Gusto mo ba magpatawa at gumamit ng Arial? Or di naman kaya punuin mo ng BOLD ang mga sinusulat mo? Gusto mo ba maglagay ng pictures pagkatapos ng bawat paragraph? Gusto mo ba mag tagalog lamang or maybe you want to speak in English or cheng weng chu so wei papu (sorry, di ako marunong mag Mandarin). Kung ano man style mo, nasa sa iyo na yan. Ang importante ay marating mo kung ano man yung gusto mo iparating at hindi mag mukhang webdingsang mga sinusulat mo.

4. Ideas. Gamitin mo ang IMAHINASYON mo. Siyempre, dapat may topic ka sa blog mo. Ang dami-daming pwede mo pag-usapan. Pwede yung crush mo nung high school na binusted ka na di ka pa nakakasimula manligaw. Pwede naman kung paano gumawa ng flower pot (or kung sino bumasag ng flower pot mo). Subukan mo na rin ang physics ng aerodynamics. Or pwede namang links ng mga paborito mong "videos". Ikaw na bahala mag-isip kasi matanda kana. Basta may matutunan ang tao or matutuwa sila sa blog mo, okay na kung ano pang ilalagay mo. Basta huwag ka lang mag COPY PASTE galing sa gawa ng iba at sure ako di ka makukulong (pwera na lang kung walang nagbabasa ng blog mo eh di safe ka). Which brings us to...

5. Friends...pa ~~Like~~ read naman ng ~~status~~ blog ko oh. Kung hindi ka man artista or sikat na tao sa baryo niyo, siguro wala ka pa talagang fans. Siyempre, ang gawa ng blog ay hindi lamang isang diary (note to self) kundi isang form of literature na pwede basahin ng iba. At kung kailangan mo ng mga tao na magkakalat ng ~~kalat~~ blog mo, eh siyempre maghanap ka na tulong sa mga friends mo. Hindi lahat ng friends natin mahilig magbasa unless si J.K Rowling ka or Stephanie Meyer. Pero kung nalaman nila na yung taong nahihirapan makapasa sa English ay nagsusulat, ay, 6 out of 10 (based from actual feelings) ay babasahin ang blog mo. Minsan di na nila ipagsasabi sa iba na nagsusulat ka or i-click ang Share button sa Facebook pero makakaasa ka na binasa na nila blog mo, o ang unang talata lang pero at least binasa diba? Sa mga kaibigan ka magsimula at kung sweswertehin, dadami ang ~~tatawa~~ magbabasa ng blog mo. Ayos diba? Solid!

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HULING BILIN. Ang pag-blog ay isang hobby lamang. Pwera na lang kung mukha kang pera at sa tingin mo ay may ginto sa sinusulat mo eh di go, make money rain bitch! Pero huwag masyado dibdibin ang pag-blog. Magsaya ka, magsulat ka ng mga bagay na makakatulong sa iba. "Blogging is a form of art" sabi ko nga pero hindi talaga ako sure. Sana ay natulungan ko kaya magkaroon ng ideya kung paano mag blog. I DO NOT CLAIM THAT THIS WILL HELP YOU TO BECOME A BLOGGER pero naman!!! Basic na lang yung pinagsasabi ko kaya go! Make you National Hero proud! Magsulat ka at para hindi mag-amoy isda...ang Tagalog mo! Yun ba yun? Yeah, go love your language! :)

Hanggang dito na lamang ako at medyo nauubusan na ako ng tagalog. Kung may reader man ako na tagalog, pasensya na sa mga wrong spelling and incorrect grammar dahil nung araw na pinamahagi ng Panginoon ang Tagalog, nasobrahan ko ata ng Ingles ang basket ko. Kung pasado na ang tagalog ko baka mag Part 2 ako ng post na ubod ng broken Tagalog. Kaya dito na lang muna at tuyo na ang utak ko sa kakatagalog. Salamat sa lahat ng nagbasa at sa uulitin! Paalam!

Nagmamahal,

Batman "of Davao City"

The Little Things: A Happy 1st Anniversary

2014-03-16T18:22:00.000+08:00

Anniversaries. It's something that I would never imagine in my life I would get to celebrate. Sure, if I want to make my birthday sound grandeur I could always say its my anniversary of being a human being on this Earth, but that would just be plain stupid. I could also call my friendship with various people an anniversary but I wouldn't be able to tell when was the friendship really official. Anniversaries are usually celebrated only by couples, whether married or just in a relationship. Now those two things have eluded my thoughts for a very long time as I always had some struggles with my love life. Things change however when you have finally met that one person you can say you can be with. And though you end up being in a relationship, it's not like everyone can stay together for a good year to celebrate an anniversary so to actually reach that milestone would be special.

You can claim it on your first week together but you can't really tell even if you have been a year together.
Hey I can rhyme too.

So why am I talking about anniversaries by the way. It's because me and my girlfriend are celebrating our first anniversary. A first for the both of us (she had three previous relationships that weren't that long and I got zero) so today is a very special day. To commemorate this special occasion, let me tell you of a story on how I ended up having a relationship up to one year...

Don't worry, at this point at best my story would just be two episodes long.

It wasn't a long time go when I was still at my previous company working as a sales coach. I was doing sales assessment interviews before as part of my tasks (and grocery shopping I might add). One particular day, I was told that I would be doing phone interviews to applicants from the friendly city of Cagayan de Oro (CDO for short). As I was doing my interviews, I stumbled by the name O***** B***** (she doesn't like her full name to be put in the internet) or for short Mai. So I was assessing Mai and she seemed okay so I gave her an 85% (which was a passing mark) and I moved along to the next applicant. Around that time I just got into a failed attempt to court a girl and in a way still had a little bit of hangover from her. Anyways, I just went on my life and as much as I can enjoyed the single life (just the way I did it for the past 21 years at that point).

As time went by, a new wave of applicants came into the account and due to an emergency, their trainer asked me and my co-sales coach to entertain the new class while he runs an errand. So there I was doing my usual "over the top" introduction when suddenly I stumbled upon a pretty face. During that time any girl that can catch my attention will most likely be on my "Get with Her" list. Luckily, I got her name from her trainer but it didn't cross my mind that she was that girl I interviewed before. I tried to look for her in Facebook but her name can't be found. So all I ever did was stare her from afar planning on how I could get her number.

It wasn't long when I finally got to discover stuff about her (still asked her trainer) and truth be told her religion somewhat took me aback. But for some reason I still had this itch to at least try and ask her out. Their wave was about to have sales training and I made sure that I get to be their sales trainer. By luck (or plainly convincing my mentor) I got to train her class. Of course, being a professional that I am, I kept my cool and waited for the right time. Good thing that opportunity knocked on my door as a wavemate of hers added me on Facebook, and being the Batman that I am, used that opportunity to look for her name and voila, tricky girl, all she did was reversed her name and added her right on the spot. So after my training with them I messaged her like a smooth talker and it wasn't long 'till I got her number.

Tip: Never start off with a "Hi. How are you?" You'll sound like a pussy. A real talker starts off with using a topic that they won't have a choice but to respond to it. #TheGame

Of course after a short conversation I got to invite her to go out. Note, it was normal for me that time to invite any girl so I didn't take it as a huge thing as I didn't want to jinx myself. To cut the story short, we went out (though she initially didn't want to as I seemed like a playboy), ate dinner and had coffee. Pretty basic stuff for a first date. Suddenly, while I was listening to her life story and previous relationship, I got this message from God and I was reminded of all the times I got my heart broken and asking him why it never worked out for me, why couldn't I get a girl? And the answer was in front of me. Truth be told I wasn't really that sure what's going to happen. All I know that time is that I wanted to pursue her. Truth be told I know it was going to be difficult and challenging but I was up to the test. This was the reason why God gave me a heart that loves so much. And so, my journey began again for the sixth time but for some reason, I felt that my odds would be better this time around.

I started courting her after that and I was at her boarding house more than I should have been. We hang out most of the time, eat somewhere and honestly at that time I was a touchy suitor but she seemed the type that didn't mind (later on I found out she just didn't really know how to shout rape). It wasn't long 'till she had to move to another place as her previous boarding house was only going to be funded by the company for three months. So I helped her and some of her wavemates in moving out and I still kept going on. I wasn't really sure what I was doing that time but all I knew was that when she needed something, I'll always be there for her. Sure, it got me into trouble at work but as long as I can go and see her or get her something I will be there for her. During those times we were getting intimate already, but she still doesn't want to commit as she's not from Davao. To keep the story short, after all the drama, crying and singing "Little Things" (my song for her) to her, she finally said yes to me on the wee hours of March 16, 2013, and from there on, the rest was history.

A lot of things happened in our one year being together. Most of the time we were in a long-distance relationship (or LDR) as she decided to go home and resign to rest. Still, we were always in touch and like any other couple, we still have our fights and dramas but through it all we always find ways to make it up with each other. She tried to come back and tried to get a job her again but after a month of going nowhere, she decided to go back to CDO to pursue her nursing licensure exam. I went to visit her in CDO every month after that and though the expenses were quite high, I couldn't afford not seeing her. She had her mistakes, I had mine, but through it all, we survived the one year of being together. I can't really recall anymore what we have been through. The one year felt like years when you look back. Overall, I am happy we are still together.

Now I don't have a letter for her like the last time but I just want to say that I'm not a perfect boyfriend and I will never be. I know that I wasn't as sweet before as people always change. I had to adapt and my perception changes from time to time. Through it all, my love for her never went away. I know I made mistakes and for some I shouldn't be forgiven but the fact is I never cheated on her and she will always be the only girl for me. True, maybe life would be a lot easier if its with another girl, but my life wouldn't be any better. And I am proud to say that I love my Baby Mai more than anything in the world. I thank God for being there always for me, to give me the strength to love her. To my family and friends who I may not seem to have an eye to eye with at times, still supported us along the way, thank you.

One year. Anniversary. So yeah, I'm celebrating it, I have achieved something in life. But it's not much of a goal for me. This is only the beginning of what could be forever and I'm looking forward to another year filled with fun, joy, challenges and dramas. I'm okay with whatever goes along my way, as long as I have her, everything will be fine, as it always has been.

12 months. 1 year. Must have done something good. Or maybe it's just love. Love. Genuinely. Unconditionally.. :)

My Long Lost Love for Pokemon

2014-03-05T18:44:00.002+08:00

Gotta catch 'em all. But why?

Any kid who grew up in the 90's most probably was expose to these cute "pocket" monsters or more famously know as Pokemon. Although Pokemon is still considered big today, I would like to believe that it wasn't as big when it came out. I'm no historian but pretty much Pokemon racked up a lot of dough in it's heyday and is still considered one of the biggest franchises in video game history, or should say entertainment industry. Over the years Pokemon has changed from video games to TV shows and it has always entertained a hug fan base of mostly kids all over the world. While at first I never really got the concept on why they are called "pocket monsters", they are attractive bunch of animal-like creatures with powers and the little ol' me just couldn't resist and get fascinated with this so called monsters. But like any other kid, growing up came into play and most likely I was going to outgrow something. And like any other form of child's play, Pokemon was no exception.

It all started here. The Pokemon game that indirectly told you to choose Squirtle.

Pokemon started as a video game for the original Gameboy. It started off with the Red and Green (Japan only) Version then later a Blue Version for international release. Now, I never got to own the original Gameboy but it was in 2000 that my uncle funded me and my sister with acquiring a Gameboy Color (GBC). Now during this time GBC was on its last legs as the Gameboy Advance (GBA) was slowly coming up from the horizon as the newest gaming handheld from Nintendo. Still, GBC was still a nice piece of gaming device during that time as it has a huge library of games. I was still 9 years old that time and to own a gaming handheld was a dream come true. A couple of months earlier during that time, a local channel in the Philippines aired an anime that was titled "Pokemon" and it was about a young trainer named Ash who owns a Pikachu and starts of an adventure to become the Pokemon Master. While the premise was simple, it introduced a lot of characters, specifically the original 151 Pokemon and from there on I fell in love with the show. Basically I was introduced to the anime first before the video game so when it was the time to choose for the cartridge that I wanted, it was a no brainer that I chose an in-1 bootleg cartridge that had Pokemon games in it.

Ohhh, look at all the pretty colors.

The cartridge contained Pokemon Gold, Yellow, Red and Blue version. Technically since I was the older brother I got to hog more so I got to play the Gold, Yellow and Blue version while my sister got to play the Red one only. I can't remember any much the details on what I did but as far as I know, I was mainly playing Blue because of the original Pokemon then I played next was Gold because its in color and provided a more dynamic gameplay compared to the first generation. As much as the Yellow version was a great port (and was heavily based on the TV show), I just wan't that keen on using a Pikachu as a starter Pokemon. Nevertheless, after countless hours playing Pokemon, I finished all three games and considered myself a Pokemon Champion (which was a huge honor that time...I think). It was a huge accomplishment for me as a gamer kid since I never saw myself playing RPG games. That time, it wasn't long 'till GBA was becoming mainstream and a new generation of Pokemon will come. Sadly, just never got the opportunity to have one and it killed any hunger I had with playing further Pokemon games. Although GBA emulators were starting to become a thing and presented an opportunity for me to play the 3rd-Generation Pokemon games, I felt that time that I have outgrown it and my interest with other video game franchises and genres grew and such my days as a Pokemon Trainer ended.

What's better than an emulator in PC? An emulator in your phone that's what.

It was only recent that my interest in Pokemon came back again after seeing my co-trainer at work playing the new Pokemon X (or Y, not sure) on his Nintendo 3DS. While I have given up already any plans I had for getting a 3DS (or any gaming handheld for that matter), him playing Pokemon got me thinking of playing again. And since I acquired a good Nintendo DS emulator for my phone, I gave it a shot. Instantly, I fell in love playing Pokemon again and while I played the Platinum Version which is quite outdated, it was the best piece of Pokemon gaming I have and since then I have been enjoying it. Although I could say to myself that I am far more mature when it comes to playing it (I don't delete non-attack moves that much), I still enjoy it as if I was still a 9-year old kid. Though I don't play it religiously as I did as a kid, it's nice to go back to those things that defined your childhood.

Pokemon has grown on its own as one of the biggest entertainment franchise in the world. I couldn't fathom how big it has gotten and I don't expect it to slow down any sooner. With gaming technology advancing these days, fans are yet to see a full 3D Pokemon experience. With that being said, I honestly can't tell if I'll ever pick up a Pokemon game and start playing it like my old 9-year old self. It's nice that anytime I feel bored I can just play in my smart phone but it's quite different when you are playing the actual game on its actual device and spend hours and hours training your Pokemon and engage yourself with tons of battles. Nevertheless, my love for Pokemon will never be gone and I will always be a Pokemon Master, Trainer and a fan. Pokemon will always be in my heart forever.

2014: "A Better Me"

2014-01-02T07:12:00.001+08:00

So #Badass2013 technically didn't work out. I didn't end up swooping chicks left and right. I wasn't able to mold a well-chiseled body. I may have look cool on certain occasions but nevertheless I'm still that "quiet guy". 2013 wasn't the year I wanted to happen but overall was still a good year for me. For one, I got a girlfriend, which was practically the highlight of my year. As much as it ended a very long drought for me, it also caused a lot of changes in me. For someone who wanted me to be a badass, lets just say I cried more than a normal man should. On top of that, I transferred to a new workplace and got promoted quickly which was a nice thing, career-wise. I met a lot of new people and made a lot of friends as well. So yeah, 2013 may have not that been "badass" as I hoped it would be but it was a great year nevertheless. So with 2013 ending and with the start of 2014, what does Noel Yulo have in mind? Well, I'm not going to make any promises, resolutions or even "gimmicky" transformations. For 2014 I'm just simply going to be "A Better Me".

Reality wise I want a lot of things for myself. I know what I want to have, what I want to achieve and what I want to be. But these things don't happen in a snap of a finger. Sometimes you just have to take it slow and take baby steps making sure you achieve what you set out yourself to be. Truth be told I have slowly achieved some of them but I still have long ways to go. I'm in the process already of establishing a career, a love life and an identity. I make a lot of fuzz in the past about stuff that I want that I forget the basics. At my age I'm already living a life and all I need to do is just get better. Every day that you wake up is a learning experience and an opportunity to grow. I have set these goals in the past and maybe its time that I actually achieve all of them. I wanted a well-chiseled body, then I'll workout that. I want to entertain people like no other, then I need to do start making material. I want to be admired, then I have to do something that will turn heads. Wants that become needs, all it takes is just a lot of focus and I can pretty much say I am up to the challenge.

With all the potential I have, it's a shame why I haven't really gotten far in life, why I haven't achieve all I wanted to achieve, why I am not yet what I want to be. But maybe for now I just got to be who I am, still be Noel Yulo but a better one. I'm still young, I know what is right and wrong, I do both good and bad stuff, but I am happy with myself. I guess its just all in perspective what I need to do to be better. As 2014 starts I need to take every day as if its my last. Grab every opportunity there is, make one if possible and just do whatever needs to get the job done. I may or may not live up to my words for this year but I got 365 days to try. So yeah sure, 2014 can be an extension of Badass 2013, but what matters most is that its another year to learn new knowledge, experience new things and best of all a great opportunity to improve myself, take things to the next level, to be a better me.

A letter to my dear girlfriend

2013-09-16T05:38:00.001+08:00

It's already cliche to start of my blog posts these days with a "I haven't been blogging for a while" but that is reality for me. I miss writing but in a way I am still grateful that God gave me abilities to write. I'm quite not sure if they are enough to inspire or entertain people, but I'm positive that my posts can provide a good story and will give you an idea on what is like to be me. But after 40 posts about almost anything in my life, I never really got a chance to talk about my girlfriend. You see, it was around January of this year when I got a glimpse of this very beautiful girl. And while I never really planned to court her initially, it was through fate that I got the chance to know her more. For years I have asked God why I never really got to a point of getting a girlfriend despite my genuine love and devotion. But when I met her, I felt in my heart an answer to my lingering question, "Here. She is the answer to your question." Never have I been so humbled by God's grace it is because I never realize that well that indeed good things come to those who wait. And after 6 months of love, happiness, joy, laughter, heartaches, tears, I am happy to say that I am still with her, happy and growing together every day. Maybe she's also one of the reasons why I haven't been able to blog because I mostly devote my time for her. That is why it's only fitting that on our 6th month together, I would like to write a letter to let her know how much I love her, to write down a huge part of my life into my blog. No matter what happens moving forward, I want to remember always that a girl so special to me, spent six months being with me, loving me, cherishing me and making me feel the happiest man on the world. Wherever you are right now, whatever you are doing, babe, hopefully you can read this...

Dear *a*,

Hello baby! I miss you so much! No words can truly entail all the love I have for you. Its quite amazing to think that we have been together for six months now. Back then the idea that I'll get a girlfriend was quite an impossible feat for me. Yet, you came into my life and you made me realize that someone out there can actually love me. I know I haven't been an ideal and perfect boyfriend for you, but for all your imperfections, you have become a perfect girl for me. I've probably said a lot of things to you already that I fear you might get fed up. But all I know is that I will never stop reminding you that I am in love with you. I'm actually writing this while listening to "Little Things". And it brings tears to my eyes knowing that I do love you, that even for all the pain and heartaches you have given me, all I can do is just and still love you. For all the little things you do you make me a better man.

I never really thought seven something months ago that you will end up being my girlfriend. But despite all, the idea of being far away from another, the different outlooks we have in life, for a good reason God gave me you. I feel that one of my missions in life is to love you like no other. And while I believe that it will be a huge task to take, please know that I am more than willing to go through everything. You mean so much to me and I can't imagine going on without you. I feel like I'm the only person in the world that can truly love you, understand you, care for you. Thank you for the privilege to love someone like you and I will make sure not to let you down. I make mistakes, I'm just human, but for all my hindrances, I will love you the way you deserve.

I know you don't like to read, especially long posts, but I just want to take this time to say that I love you very much! That whatever happens I will always love you. I want to be with you. I know it will be hard, but I want to be with you. You are a gift from God and I know He will be there to always give me strength to love you. I believe in your capabilities and I know you will be great someday. And if no one believes you, let me tell you that I am here, believing in you and I will support you no matter what. Thank you for the six months that we have been together. I look forward for another month, year and an eternity with you. I love you so much Baby *a*! I love you so much babe! Gwapa mahal na mahal kita! I love you so much beautiful! I love you so much!

Yours,

Noel

My dear Baby *a*!

2013: Year of the Bad-Ass

2013-01-20T19:18:00.002+08:00

A year ago, I was a disgruntled man. I was in the point of my life where I was fed up with a lot of things. Whatever aspect I would like to look myself at, I was simply dissatisfied with whatever I had. So I decided to hype things up. I decided to go through a rebirth: Deadman Walking (Emotions), Epitome of Bad-Assery (Toughness) and Greatness Personified (Confidence). Three personas that I created, molded and tried to live by. While in a way I was able to live by those three personas, summing up 2012, it was more of the growth of Noel Yulo. I got to learn a lot of things, went through a lot of things and most importantly, I got to experience things that made me a better person. But as 2012 ended, looking back I felt that with all the improvements I had, I still had a lot of setbacks. People are much familiar with me as Deadman Walking, a guy that is emotional for a lot of things, good or bad. It's a known fact that I am in touch with my inner emotions. So now I had to focus on what I need to do to be considered great. And for me to reach greatness, I need to be more tougher, braver, wiser on dealing with a lot of things.

In a way people have seen me change both in a positive and negative aspect. Good or bad, I decided to be or do certain things that were best for me and my interest. But often times I am inconsistent. Yesterday I might have approached a girl and ask for her number but tomorrow I might shy myself away to even look at a girl. I'm never the same Noel in certain time or place. In this world, you must have an image, and that image I want to portray in this year and moving forward is a bad-ass guy that does anything in a consistent basis. No one to tell him what to do or even say to him what is best for him.

I know that with the brand new year starting, I'll have a lot of challenges to go through. I still need to learn a lot of things. But if I have to go through things, I want to be the best Noel Yulo out there. It's not about if I can approach a girl anytime or anywhere, it's not about doing something stupid just to prove I am bad, it's simply about getting getting better and making people around me better. I'm not the best example out there but I just want to show the world that I can be good at the right place at the right time. So I set 2013 as the Year of the Bad-Ass. The year I will totally close out any fear, be tough on a lot of things and kick ass on whatever that I do.

Grabbing on every opportunity. Improve every weakness. Enhance all strengths. Be better in every aspect. Achieve every goal. Inspire the weak. Beat the best. Ready for the worst. Overcome the bad. Collect victories. Clamor at every win. Learn from defeat. God-fearing, ass-whooping, tough-minded....always.

Life in Poetry: Soulmate

2012-12-31T17:57:00.000+08:00

It's been a while since the last time I blogged. I've been busy for the past months, almost the entire year. As much as I wanted to write again, work got in the way and alcohol consumed my weekends so writing really got off my priority list. For the past few years, every time I would decide to write something on December 31st, it is usually about a girl that I fell in love with, that I tried to court and then for some reason broke my heart. Well, today is that day again and it's no exception. While I like to believe that I am not as emotional or sappy as before, its almost like a tradition for me to take a seat on the last day of the year and reflect on that one person that made my heart skip a beat. But unlike the previous times, I'm not that sad, I'm not that depress. More or so, I'm mature already when it comes to these things. What doesn't change though is the genuine and sincere love that I always show.

I met this girl a few months ago at work. Got to see a glimpse of her for numerous occasions and I always found her aura so alluring. Until one day I finally got to know her name and did my very best to find a way to meet her. It was a cold night. I went outside our workplace for a while to withdraw money in the ATM. On my way back, I saw a figure standing on a street lamp around the parking lot. For some reason I was palpitating. As I slowly approach that figure, it was that girl. I approached her with a calm demeanor, we talked a little. It was starting to rain so we step aside on a covered area and then we exchanged numbers. We separated ways after that. During that time she was having some ups and downs with her boyfriend. Until such time came when I asked her to go out and she agreed. On our very first date, everything went so well. For the first time in my life I had an awesome time with a girl. Better and greater than the previous times I've been with a girl. Probably the best. Since then a lot of things happened but to cut it short, she still had a hang-up with her ex, or BF, whatever. So, I had no place in her heart and me and her never got to be together.

Looking back, if there is one thing that can highlight the relationship between the two of us, it's the similarities that we have. Tons of similarities. To the point the she even mentioned that we might be soulmates. So many that I think it freaked her out. Now, I never really believed in soulmates before. But I don't know, with her, everything just seemed right. It is unusual but with the similarities that we have, its really perfect fit that maybe she is my soulmate. She got back with her boyfriend, I went away, but she never went away my mind. I always think about her everyday. With 2013 coming, I don't know what's in store for me. All I know is that for 2012, I met the girl that is probably, or I would like to believe is my soulmate. I'm not quite sure, I don't know. Whatever the case maybe, she will always be special in my heart. So I dedicate this poem to a very special girl by the name of Claudine Gin Young Libre. Wherever you are Claud, I'll always love you...

Soulmate

by: Noel Yulo

I never really believe in soulmates before

They said its true but facts I wanted more

A particular soul that will be with you forever

I shunned the idea but the thought was clever

If someone is meant for you than that's that

If not than accept that as a simple fact

No need to make anything spiritual about it

You might fail in searching and that'll be sad

But if its indeed true then how will you know

If you are feeling funny is it 100% sure?

I wanted to know because I don't know if this is it

Met this girl and suddenly there's a struggle on my beliefs

I look into her eyes and I see something great

Her eyes was something big like an endless space

Beautiful stars align when I stare at them

As if it meant something beyond this realm

We have too many similarities it's actually crazy

I would like to say coincidences but its really freaky

But other than that the simply fact is I love this girl

Not the first love but the first love of my soul

I grind my teeth because I don't want to over think

But it's just something about her that makes me cringe

She is so beautiful as if its a summer's day

My eyes simply refuse too look away

Her attitude is not perfect but unique as it comes

When I'm around her life is simply joyful and fun

Things may have not work out initially with her

But it seemed that whatever happened didn't matter

She is my soulmate and forever we will be linked

I don't know how the future goes but I'm excited for it

So if you'll ask me if I believe in soulmates

Well I actually did, when I met Claudine Libre

My only pic of her. Forever a treasure. :)

Ending Love Month Loveless

2012-02-29T19:10:00.007+08:00

February + the idea of love = $_$

Marketing. For me it is the entire focal point for the month of February. It is the marketing ploy of every business to try and sell the idea of love. You don't need to sell it, love is something that must be showed every day. Or maybe I'm just bitter. Maybe I'm just too clouded to appreciate the month of love. Truth is, February can do a lot of things especially on February 14. Couples go out on dates, strengthen the relationship that they have and for some, rekindle their lost magic. As much as I am a bit scrooge on this month, I have to say, it is indeed the month of love. What a hypocrite.

Today, February 29 shows that we actually are in a leap year. It'll be another four years 'till the next one. And while I don't really care about the leap year that much, today still marks the last day for the month of love. As usual, I end it like any other previous February, loveless. I try not to show to the world that I am bitter on this month. Circumstances dictates that I go solo for this month. No flowers to give. No chocolates to buy. No dates to plan. I just do stuff on my own. But once in a while I get to think how my life would be if I was like any other person who goes along the marketing ploy for this month. Giving someone a bouquet of flowers, a box of chocolates and having a romantic dinner. I've imagined those for so many times, quite frankly have tried those but just never to the point where I get to do that on a month of February.

I can remember my first February in which I was in love with someone. It was 4th Year high, February 14, 2006. Everyone was busy getting the love aura spread across the school. Guys were preparing their gifts while girls were giggly on what they might receive. I came in to school not knowing if I'll give the girl I like a flower or not. Note I was a fat kid then and she is a beautiful girl in a high school setting plus I had small confidence, you do the math. Basically I chickened out. My two friends were telling me I should have given her something and if I don't do something before my day ends, I'll forever regret it. I ended the day and up to this point I don't regret it perse, but I can only imagine if I only did. What could have happen to me on that day? What would I be today?

College came and pretty much Valentine's sure went up to another level. At that point in my life, on two separate February 14s I did the unthinkable. February 14, 2008, I gave the girl I like at that time a letter and a rose. February 14, 2010, I did the same to a different girl. Both were two different paths, but the same outcome, I didn't end up with any of them. There out probably with their rich boyfriends right now. Looking back on those instances, I might have not handled it correctly. Despite I was going for the hottest girl in the class, I just didn't handle it correctly. Or maybe I was too ambitious. Either way, I simply lack the skills and the correct moves to make the girl fall for me.

So maybe there were times where I wasn't completely loveless on a month of February, but if you check the long-term effect, I still pretty much ended up loveless. I guess I never learned to appreciate the month of love is because I've been a failure on my previous crusades to be in a relationship with a girl. I was once a very romantic-minded person but those heart-ripping rejections might have provided a sour taste in my tongue. Despite the truth that businesses do take advantage on this month, it is still the month of love. I'm just one of those cases that never really got a break on heartbreaks. But remembering those previous February s, you know what, I was in-love during those times. I wouldn't end up writing those poems or having the courage to give those flowers if it wasn't for the month of love. The fact that I chose February 14 as the day I will show my love to those girls meant that for me, February was the month of love. Even if I would still rant about how this month of February is just another month for marketing love next year, I still believe that this month will mean more than that. This month had a meaning for me before, I know it will have another meaning again. And that is to celebrate unconditional genuine love.

Damn right.

Picking Up The Pieces

2012-02-03T18:13:00.004+08:00

Trying to fit the pieces again...

There are times that in my young age I think I have figured out life already. In truth, I still got a long ways to go. I don't even know what to do or what to say, I guess despite the times I say I am tired, I still have the urge to live with my life. Sometimes, I feel like I found the solutions to my problems in life but all of a sudden everything turns into a train wreck again. Nevertheless, I'm a fighter through and through. I never give up easily. But I'm just human, I get tired, I fall into weakness, I fall flat in the face of adversary at times. When I look at it on a positive note, despite all the hardships in life I've went through, I'm still alive. God still has kept me alive for some reason. I guess I just don't look at it that way that maybe I do have a greater purpose in life. But I don't know, I'm just human, I can be forgetful in nature.

When your 21 years old and mature for your age (I think I am), you tend to think a lot. And when you think a lot, more or so your life gets problematic. I'm just never contented with the things I have. I always want more than what others have. I want to have greater satisfaction in life than what others get. If I think I can get something even if its too much for me, I'll do my damn best to get it. But whenever I do that, I sometimes go out in control. I lose my grip in life and I just end up messing it up. I keep on chasing things I don't know if I can grab and hold on. A lot of people tell me to slow down, chill, I'm too young to chase on bigger dreams. But I say screw that, I feel like there's no problem trying to hit the big time in a young age. But I think I understand why people around me tell this, because when they look at me or hear my story, they see that I have overworked myself. It has stress me out and they see me unhealthy already. Guess I was too much for my own good, maybe I need to slow down in life and just let time pass by.

My life is filled with gap holes that I want to fill-in. The more holes I have the more its sucking the life out of me. In a sense I shouldn't have this much problems in my life if I just know how to run it. I know the right things to do in life but I never do them. I just don't. I can give advices to people but apparently I can't advise myself to live life properly. Sometimes I want to hit myself in the head so hard it will give me an awakening, a second life of sorts. I keep on using the problems as an excuse to have self pity. Problems come and go, point is I can get over them. Jesus is bigger than any problem but I just can't put that fact in my head. Checking my recent post here, all I talk about is how I'm drowned with problems. I'm getting tired and sick of it that sometimes I just wish I can get out of this hump and just be happy in life. I'd say to myself that "It ain't easy", but a voice inside tells me that actually, it is.

My heart is a dark forest. Need to shed some light in it.

I call myself Deadman Walking, Epitome of Bad-Assery and Greatness Personified. Despite the cool names, I seem to cannot live by the creed those three split personalities have. I'm hypocrite to even call it my personalities because I seem to cannot be those personalities at all times. I feel like I just created characters with such unique personalities. These three is suppose to be me and I guess I should start being them at all times. I need to pick up myself, pick the pieces of my life and start fitting them into pieces. I know that I feel like a broken record when I say this, but I'm on a position to start a new. I just ended an ill-fated relationship, I'm about to get a new job position, the hostility in my environment have slowly calm down. This is the chance that I should take advantage with. I don't think I'll ever be that happy-go-lucky Noel Yulo, but the best I can do is be that simply happy Noel Yulo. I need to give myself a second coming, or third, or fourth. I don't know how many times I've tried to rebuild myself but I guess if its another go around, then its fine by me.

If someone is reading this right now that is having the same issue with me, well, all I can to you is that live up, be strong. I guess I'm not in the right position to say this, but all we can do in times like this is to pick up the pieces in our life, fit it in and go on with life. I believe in new beginnings and it doesn't matter how many times you start anew, you always find a way to be happy in life. If problems get you down, as much as you want to drown yourself in self-pity, shrug it off and rise above it. I got to stop being miserable in life. I know thinking a lot makes life more problematic, but I guess I just need to think on what I can do more to be happy in life. My life is a huge puzzle and the pieces are all over the floor. Its gonna take time to pick them up and fit them again, but hey, I can start on the sides and hopefully, slowly but surely, I'll finish fitting it all and see the clear picture on this puzzle of life.

The Recipe for Madness

2012-01-20T18:22:00.007+08:00

Sanity is almost flushing out...

Everyday that I walk on this Earth, I go through a lot of emotions. There are days when I am happy and contented, most days I'm dark and gloomy and occasionally I'm crazy as I can be. There are a lot of certain factors that can affect me, it could be my family, friends, work, or life in general. But its given that you really have to face with different moods everyday, this what gives life to your...well, life. Every day is unique and special for you. But lately I have been going through something that I feel like I have never experienced before. It's like drinking a mixture of different alcohols, then you drink it you feel like you just drank a chemical of sorts and its giving you a funny feeling, but in a bad way. I've always been geared on solving my own problems and dilemmas in life, but right now I feel like I'm just a ticking time bomb ready to explode. An as much as I want to say that I'm okay, I can't really hide the fact that I'm not. I'm going through changes and it feels like I'm losing control of myself. It took me some time to realize that I guess, I'm just going through a mixture of bad luck all rolled up together. Taking a gut check, I feel like I'm going mad, mad I tell you. A break or a vacation won't even solve what I'm going through right now. I think death alone won't be the salvation of the madness I'm having right now. You may think I'm exaggerating things, and I think the same way too. I'm just acknowledging the facts that have been bothering me, and these are what I would say the recipe of my madness...

1.) Being burned-out in life

At least a match turns to dust when burned-out. I still need to keep on living.

I feel like a broken record sometimes when I say the reason why I feel like burned-out with life despite my young age (I always say I'm burned-out a lot). You see, after graduating in college on March 2010, I was able to get only a week of rest then after that I was back being busy in life again. Note that while others were going through vacation, I was going back to my school everyday trying to get schedules for hospital duty (I graduated as a nurse and needed cases as a Board Exam requirement). If you read my past blog post in 2010, you'll get to read one of my misadventures and you'll know that it can be frustrating, hell to be exact trying to get a completion. Anyways, I was able to complete my cases, but I had an upcoming review for the board exam. I completed my cases just a mere weekend before 1st day of review classes started, so apparently I was never able to get the rest I needed. The review was very long (and again, you can read my misadventures in my 2010 archives) and in ways it wasn't as stressful as I've expected it to be, but I still got a lot of those days where my brain just get chucked out. The span of my review was like a semester in college. Pretty much it was dragging. Took the board exam and then had to wait for the results. While everyone again was going through their vacation while waiting, I was out scheming on how to get job immediately and earn money. Got a job in a very stressful work place, been there for a year and pretty much you get the juice of the story. I NEVER GOT A FUCKING BREAK. I just went on and one with my life like a rapid train. I was on fire alright, being Mr. Look-at-me-I-am-earning-let-me-treat-you, the guy that keeps on buying expensive stuff and looked what happened, never took a break and I got burned-out.

2.) Setting-up a good career

This is me everyday in a call center. Tired and tired.

What more can I say. Working in a call center is not a walk in a park. Sure, you just sit in front of a computer, talk to someone over your headset and try to assist them whatever you're suppose to assist them with, but still, its not easy as it seems. You are awake at night, and pretty much your body still knows you sleep at night so its always a challenge to drag yourself at work despite doing it five times a week. You talk to irate members who feel like they are superior because they are the "customers". You have stats and bosses to deal with. This is a career I don't really plan to continue, but this is the career I started. I won't go into any details why I went to work in a call center but point is, as the first step of my career as a working adult, pretty much it has taken its toll on me. There are a lot of reason why I stayed, but mainly because despite the stressful working environment, I was having fun. I was meeting new people, making new friends, have a great time with my teammates, and I was earning great, so it felt like it was worth it to stay. But when you take those factors out, when you take the fun out, it just ends up as a job for you. Job are suppose to be fun, and when you're having fun, you stay. If its a job, then go find elsewhere to earn and have fun. Simple equation. I know that I'm a good agent, I can be great on this field, but I guess its just not my thing anymore. I've outgrown it, and the way our account is going, I don't really plan to keep on staying (We need to sell now). And for all those times I was up for promotion, fuck it, my talents were just wasted. I believe in paying dues, but come on, I was performing on a great level every single night at work. Thing is, I just want to get out, and as much as I'll be free, looking for the next job is a daunting task. You see why its complicated for me? I'm leaving a stressful, but an already good paying job for an unstable future. I'm stuck with a dilemma and I alone have to face it. In my age I'm still suppose to be at school, but I'm facing middle-age problems, go figure the math and I hope you get the outcome. Point is, I want to grow as a person, but I need to make sure the next job will be fulfilling, both personally and economically for me.

3.) Heartache

Wherever you are, you are slowly killing me...but I still love you.

Imagine falling in love with someone. Everything is going well. You're taking things slowly. Everything is going through its natural flow. And then all of a sudden that someone suddenly disappears. That someone needed the time to be alone. You get confused, you want to know why, want to know where you will position yourself, you don't get an answer, but you just try to understand. You miss that someone, you keep trying to be in touch, but you just get ignored. You get annoying, and in a way is pissing off that someone, but you apologize but still show affection. Months, weeks passed, that someone never tried to reach out with you anymore. You sit alone to wait, stuck, don't know what to do, singing "Should I give up of just keep on chasing pavements?" Pretty much that's what's going on with my love life right now. Don't get me wrong, having a heartache is not simply being heartbroken. Its something much larger than that. I just want to clarify things, I just want to break free to the chains that bind me to be emotionally free. I don't want to go into details, but this whole scenario has been eating me up inside. And probably the main factor of me turning mad. I just can't focus with my life that much because of this heartache. #1 and 2 reasons I can handle with great focus, but this one, I don't know. I used to have a lot of theories about love, create explanation on how to fix things, but this one got me all silenced up.

..........

With the power of God, I know I can overcome this madness I'm going through. I just need to take things in a step by step process. Take this one dilemma or problem at a time. But I have to acknowledge that I am going through changes, and in the future I know that there will be a point where I will get to drink a mixture of toxic again, maybe the same ingredients or probably new ones. I'm glad in a way that I am still able to keep my sanity through all of this. Everything is affected in my life, every aspect of it. I need to work on this. I've been through a lot of challenges in life, but I guess I'm up to something that whatever the tomorrow it may bring I cannot really foretell, and that is overcoming madness. I'm in a long haul. In a long stretch, I hope I can make it. I hope I can fix this. But trying to seems to be already turning me mad, mad, mad I tell you.

REBIRTH. 2012.

2012-01-01T17:09:00.004+08:00

I guess its about time...

21 years. 21 years I've done nothing but be the best son, friend, classmate, employee, heck, a lover that I can be. And for those 21 years, while I got my props from time to time, still don't get the respect I deserve, still don't get the admiration I deserve, still don't get the appreciation that I deserve. And while I try not to be a very important person that much, I just want to be known for something, and that is being the best guy around. I've always made sure that I can be a guy you can count on, someone you would admire for his feats and efforts that I've done. But no. My life was never the sun over the rainbow sort to speak, it has always been a tough life for me. I still get to eat three times a day, get to sleep in a bed, have what you wold call a decent life, but for me, I've always had to go through a life taking shit after shit after shit all the time. I know I shouldn't be complaining, there are more people out there having a worst life than me, but this is my life, I'm selfish in nature, I think I have the worst life in the world.

But I know that I shouldn't be thinking this way. I know that I must do something about it. For the past months I've been thinking of changing my style. Changing the way I live my life. I want to do it in a dramatic manner. And with the new year looming, I thought of repackaging myself for the new year. I rebirth sort to speak. That's why I vowed that the time 2012 comes, there will be a rebirth. It's sort of a new year's resolution, but something I will have to live by for the rest of my life. I've always been that quiet, kind guy but in all honesty, guys like that don't get the respect they deserve. No one gives a crap about them. Come to think of it, people crap on them. Good guys get to be treated like crap, and that's what I'm trying to change. While I can't do that much for the people's perspective over good guys, I'm not going to let myself be treated like crap. It's time for me to face the light and be a better man.

So I vowed to myself, that I will be what I always wanted myself to be, someone who can adapt to any person, any place or ant situation. I want to be someone that people will just have no force but to admire. I want to be someone that keeps on doing good things in life. I want to be amazing. I want to be great. I want to be that damn good in anything I do and people will be left but to like it. I want to be that guy that is not shy and will interact with anybody, call someone as it fits and be the coolest guy around. I don't want to elaborate that much but simply put, I want to be a great person. This doesn't happen overnight, its something that I must work on. It's another year ahead of me. While 2011 was good at most, I went through a lot of shit and I want to make sure that 2012 will be worth it. I might still have to go through a lot of shit but I want to go through it like a boss. People can claim that 2012 is their year, but I guess no hurt can be done if I claim it to myself as well.

So for this 2012, I'm going to be different. I'm going to be the Noel Yulo that people have never known before. Sure, no one would care, but hey, this is my life, I'll do what I want to do. No one can dictate me. I want to be better, badder, stronger than ever. For 21 years, I was a good guy, but no one ever appreciated it. So know, now, I'll be the Noel Yulo that people might hate, but whatever, like I could give a fuck, I'll be what people didn't imagine I'll be. So 2012 marks the beginning, the rebirth of Noel Yulo. I could have been the best son, the best friend, the best classmate, the best employee, the best boyfriend that I could be, but no, I'll let them taste the best Noel Yulo that they'll ever set their eyes upon. I'm not going for the worst, but I'm surely going to be the best at what I do, and trust me, I'll blow heads off when I get the real shit out. REBIRTH. 2012. The new Noel Yulo is coming. And he's doing it, like a boss!

Life in Poetry: My Maldita Girl

2011-12-31T17:58:00.005+08:00

This seem to be a trend every December 31st, but anyways, you got to do things for love. Anyways, what I have right here is a poem a dedicate to one Emervy Jade Ballener. Pretty much there is nothing more I can say and its that I love this girl so much. She might have broken my heart, but I now she's going through something. I'm optimistic, but I don't know where everything goes from here. But at least, I want to leave this poem out to let her know that I love her. No matter what, you're always special to me. Thank you for the moments we had, I love you you maldita girl, so, here it is...

My Maldita Girl
by: Noel Yulo

I used to think that she can be as sweet as sugar

Lovable, caring, molded the same way as an angel

But little did I know that she is quite special in ways

Ways that would leave me dumbfounded for days

And as much as I would like to think that she's okay

There is just more to her than what people would say

But that's why she's special despite she left me in a twirl

There is really nothing compared to my dear maldita girl

The first time I saw her, her beauty captured me eyes

I wouldn’t thought she would captivate me by surprise

While I didn’t hope that I’ll get a chance to meet her

Destiny seemed to have plans for us to meet each other

My friends would talk to her and shout out my name

I would shy out but a “Hi!” she would always say

I know that she’s only forcing herself to greet an “elder”

But that’s how my interest started for this maldita girl

I didn’t really plan for us to be more than acquaintance

Frankly speaking I always forget what her name was

I went with my life not wondering how or where she is

Until one hot afternoon going home I saw her in a dress

“That’s gotta be the girl I had a crush on during the review”

“Can’t believe we’re just neighbors, who would have known”

From there on knowing her name was a priority, I was on a whirl

I guess I wanted to know more things about this maldita girl

So the determined finally got what he was looking for

I was already on the outside and about to knock on her door

No more hello exchanges, I was about to enter in her life

Didn’t know what to expect but I already had her in my sight

So I added her in Facebook and in few days accepted my request

I sent her out quickly a message not wanting to fail in my quest

I thought she ignored it but after a few days a got a reply from her

I couldn’t believe I was having a conversation with the maldita girl

Not long thereafter we pretty much got to know more each other

She was an interesting girl to say at least and has a sense of humor

I got to ask for her number and she quickly handed it out

God himself was looking down on me that day from above

It went on from days and to conclude it she was a pretty cool chick

Those early moments we had were like the start of a romantic flick

I didn’t want to think more than what was happening between us I swear

But to be honest I got confused if I was already falling for this maldita girl

After a grueling wait I finally found out that I passed the board exam

Of course, I had to checked immediately and called my new found “friend”

It was a blessing indeed when I found out she passed as well

But at that time I was confused, my feelings for her I couldn’t tell

She was having a thanksgiving party and surprisingly I got invited

She didn’t knew me that much yet but I definitely was delighted

Surrounded by her family and close friends, I felt out of place

But I couldn’t care, I got an invite from the maldita girl anyways

We stayed in touch through text and I was always updated about her

She would tell me about her day went as an event organizer

She got acquainted with my friends and they would tease me a lot

“Noel has a new girl again” they would say, but I said she isn’t

My heart got broken for so many times that I was truly afraid

But slowly but surely my heart grew fonder for her every day

She had an interesting past that made me unsure of this girl

But deep inside I wanted to be the future of this maldita girl

I would often visit her at work and we would go out for dinner

At times we would just go out and do things altogether

I’ve never had an experience like this with any other woman

Whenever I’m with her we’d always find ways to have fun

That’s why one evening while we were talking over the phone

Through circumstances I had to say those three damn words

“I Love you, Emervy”, and every feelings went on a swirl

I finally made my feelings clear for the shocked maldita girl

Nothing was automatic, and of course it was a slow process

At first it felt like she rejected me but she just wasn’t sure yet

My heart got broken that night but unlike those times in the past

I didn’t weep for that long and I got up to my feet really fast

She asked me a question before that I applied on to that moment

“Why didn’t you got for a second try to the girls you’ve loved before?”

And I answered, “There was no point on going after again for those girls”

But for this time around, I wanted to fight for my love for the maldita girl

Everything was good on that point, everything felt in place

I was a little bit on a rush but I just have to keep up with her pace

I would forget that moment where we talked in a coffee shop

I got curious and asked her bluntly who I was in her life?

She told me to give her choices and she would just pick one

I was teary-eyed when I found out I’m her special someone

I felt I was in a good place, the best thing just happened to me

I was touching maldita girl’s hand and the moment felt forever

But as everything seem to go into the right direction

Something happened that was out of my expectations

She suddenly disappeared, no single word was said

I looked for her, I wanted to know what happened

She said she was just looking for herself, she’ll be fine

I asked about us, she said you’ll just know in time

At that point she explained to me what a girl she really is

It was at this point she told me what a maldita girl she is

I tried to hang-on, I tried to understand what she was going through

But she left me in a cold position, she just left and gone she flew

I just wanted to know where she would like me to place myself

But she was busy she says, ignored my words like she’s deaf

I was getting annoying, a first time in my life I was

But I love her too much just not to give a fuck

“I’m very busy Noel, please, please stop bugging me”

Her message hit me strong, and from there on it was clear

My love for her was stained, I got confused with my feelings again

I wanted to hate her for treating me like crap, I was going insane

I didn’t want to be on this position again, but she made sure I did

She couldn’t give a two cents anymore if I was dying slowly in my bed

My friends told me to just move on, she’s not worth of my love

But I knew her more than my friends, they didn’t know what’s up

I knew nothing has ended yet, and it took me some time to think about it

I got lost in transition, was down, but I’m finally back on my feet

I miss the times when I would borrow her phone and check her pictures

The times we went out having fun, at times giving one another a lecture

Walking together and getting to hold her hand while we cross the streets

Hugging each other goodbye but secretly going to her head for a kiss

These are the moments that define my love for this girl

I’m pretty much convinced this maldita girl is the girl I’d die for

And nothing is much quite sure right now despite the things I want to hurl

People will think I’m crazy but I'm definitely in love with this maldita girl

She has completely captivated in whole my heart

To give up on her wouldn’t be really smart

No words can ever complete the way I can describe her

More ways than one I’d truly say I’ve fallen again all over

She has ripped me apart but I’m still in love with this fine lady

I miss the Emervy I thought I knew but I’ll still love the real Emervy

I know that there is nothing like her anywhere around the world

I’d keep on fighting if it means finally having her as my maldita girl

Me and the maldita girl. :D

Twas a Grey Christmas

2011-12-27T10:04:00.007+08:00

How's my Christmas you ask? Oh, nothing much, greyer than grey.

It doesn't snow in the Philippines. The closest thing you can get to a snowy Christmas morning here is to have a raining Christmas morning. And that's how it was when I woke up in Christmas morning. Dark skies, moderate rain, just like I wanted my Christmas to be. You might be wondering why I wanted my Christmas to be that way. Well to be frank, for the past few months I haven't really been excited for Christmas. Its starting to be just another holiday, another day for me for that matter. Maybe its because of the crap that I've been through. And when you go to a lot of crap, its either you rise, go on and take it as a challenge or you can go down and let it take the colors of your life. For my part, I went through all of those but I ended having the colors of my life taken away from me. Now everything seems to be white and black, I don't feel like doing anything special anymore and worst of all, my outlook in life just turned gray.

Christmas is suppose to be the celebration of the birth of Jesus. While biblical historians have pointed out that Jesus wasn't technically born in December 25, its already an accepted creed for Christians around the world. But despite that, Christmas is also the celebration of giving. This is a season where family reunion happens, where the act of sharing is seen and where there is always extra on everything. Extra food, extra drinks, extra money, everything you can think off is extra on this day (I guess extra love counts too...pfft). Christmas for me has been about the two facts, but unbeknownst to the world, December 25th is also the day where the birth of some guy in the Philippines is celebrated. Yes, it is also my birthday.

While I always put over Jesus' birthday over mine, I guess it won't hurt if people also remember its my birthday. Everyone seems to be born randomly. I don't think parents ever plan when their child will be born (except if you were born in November, then your parents wanted to make you on Feb. 14), but it always feel nice if their child were born on a special date. Imagine what would the parents think if there child was born on All Soul's Day? But while parents, in my opinion, don't matter when their child would be born (maybe if the baby was born on the same date as a past tragedy), then any date will do. Being born in New Year's Day is quite awesome, but if you were born in Christmas, that is just plain extra special. "You're a blessing" or "You're special" seem to be said to anyone born in Christmas. But you can pretty much say it to any new born baby.

In a sense, being named Noel and was born in Christmas seem to give you enough leverage that you are special, that maybe you can do more than what others can. While I don't want to hype myself up, I always get the "amazed" look from people when they found out I was born on Christmas. The past Christmas have been good for me, amazing for some. But as you grow, the inevitable happens. Christmas loses it sense as you grow. Don't get me wrong, its still the most wonderful time of the year. But while other people get to celebrate this day and their birthday, I only get to celebrate those two things in one day. So if that day doesn't play out I wanted it to be, then pretty much everything is a wreck.

This year's Christmas was suppose to be a little bit special. It was my 21st birthday. I didn't expect a huge celebration or anything, but my parents surprised me again. While I am very thankful with the surprise, its a shame as I wasn't able to invite people as I've been downplaying the people around me that I won't be celebrating. But I shouldn't mind that because the important thing is that my closest friends will show up, then again, I was wrong. Only 4 friends dropped by, and pretty much, that was just the nail in the coffin. I don't want to keep grudges, it is what it is. I understand its Christmas, need to spend it with the family, but it was my debut. They didn't miss the past few Christmas, maybe for one last time (I would like to think this would be my last time to have a celebration on my birthday) they could show up. But all I got was a cold shoulder. And to top it all off, I didn't even got that much greetings. While Facebook is kind enough to remind that its your friend's birthday, some couldn't even bother. Like I said, I put Jesus' birthday over mine but it wouldn't hurt to greet someone, even someone you don't personally know a happy birthday. Then again, I'm a good guy, I won't take it against them. I'm just good ol' Noel Yulo.....no one cares. Still, I'm thankful for every person who greeted.

But despite all of that, I'm still thankful of the Christmas I had this year. It marked my 21st birthday and I got to celebrate it with people that matters most, my family. Sure it wasn't the way I could have planned it to be, but hey, as long as you got family around you, its already enough. Best of all, at least despite my "nobody" status, I still got few friends who cared to show up. This wasn't the best Christmas or birthday I ever had, but Christmas is still Christmas and a birthday is still a birthday, I could've had it worst, but I still get to enjoy it and lived to celebrate it. So for every hype that Christmas gets, just like anyone else despite its quite grey for me, you feel sad 'coz its finally over. And after waiting for a months its quite disappointing that it doesn't play out the way you want it to be, but what's done is done. You move one and wait for another 365 days, it isn't that long.

So twas a grey Christmas. Nothing much more you can ask for. Come to think of it, its quite sad that it didn't felt good. I wanted it to be gray, but at the end of the day, I wish it would be as colorful as the Christmas lights on the Christmas tree. In a way, I think I still had a great Christmas. I got to give gifts to my cousins, bought them and wrapped them myself. I practiced the true meaning of Christmas and I didn't forget who we offer this season for, the birth of our savior Jesus Christ. And by the way, I got to celebrate it like a boss. Well, it was another Christmas past. Can't say I'm looking forward for the next one as I still got a year of shit to go through, but I hope you had a very Merry Christmas. And to all, a goodnight!

Taking a bite at an Apple: The Quest to own an iPod

2011-10-09T19:50:00.010+08:00

The logo alone makes you wanna shit yourself a walkman.

I have never owned an Apple product ever in my entire life. Come to think of it, I was never close of owning an Apple product. As much as it a great piece of technology, I was able to go on with my life without ever owning one. Ever since I laid my eyes upon the classic iPod back in high school, I already knew it was a beautiful piece of gadgetry. It plays music and it stores pictures, something not normal or common then. Time when pictures were limited to Kodak or when a listening to portable music was just through a discman, the iPod captured the attention of everyone. Of course, being a great piece of technology, Apple's iPod did not come to a cheap price. It was quite expensive, but through it all, despite the technology it offers, man can simply live without it. But time has change since then. The portable technology has expanded greatly. Smartphones suddenly sprout out of nowhere. People want to have the latest piece of technology. And all in all, Apple has evolved to a scary giant in the world of technology.

Shit got really real.

But before anything else, deep insideI have simply yearned for an iPod. I would banished the idea of buying an mp3 player back then, I wanted the top shit. I wanted the measuring stick for all mp3 players, and that was the iPod. Throughout the years the iPod has taken a lot of different versions and went through a lot of changes. There was the Shuffle, the Nano, and from there, the Touch was born. I could still remember the first day I got to borrow the iPod for the first time. I had a classmate that owned an iPod Nano. It didn't bug me at first, but when we were slowly becoming close, one of the things I bravely asked to him is that if I could borrow his iPod. The moment he said yes, I couldn't be happier. The way how I navigated the gadget by the use of the iPod's signature wheel captivated my mind on how such technology was invented. I wasn't pressing a lot of buttons, I was simply circling my thumbs and pressing just one button. From that day on, I knew that if I was going to buy a portable music player, that would be it.

It's so small that you can call it fluffy.

For some reason, instead of finding ways to own one, I simply got contented of just borrowing one. That friend end up being my close and best friend, so pretty much I got to borrow his iPod a lot that it felt like it was mine already. But good things don't last forever. For some reason his iPod got to a wrong end of a washing machine and it was dead for good. Although he got a nice iPod Classic for a replacement, things change that time that I seldom get to borrow his iPod. For some reason, iPod just seemed to be a classy gadget that I don't really need to have or cared to have. My phone can play mp3 music so that was good enough for me. But on the day my eyes laid upon the new iPod version, Apple captured my heart again to get an Apple product. The iPod Touch was released. It was still an iPod, but touch screen, something back then was a little bit rare for a piece of technology. And aside from the features an iPod can do, it let's you play games that look like they came out straight from consoles. Beside that is the released of the iPhone and pretty much at least, you get a product that is like an iPhone, but minus the phone. It was a stand point that time. I had the sudden urge to go on a quest to own an Apple product, an iPod to be exact. Screw the Macs, the iPod Touch simply won over my soul.

You know you want the damn thing.

But with technology growing everyday, gadgets seem to grow a little bit faster. Companies like Apple, Samsung, Blackberry, Nokia, HTC, have a distinct attitude of releasing gadgets for almost every month. Ranging from 6-12 months to create another updated version of a certain gadget. They release too many damn gadgets that consumers are left with hundreds of options and the urge to spend for updated products. It's a bit of a turn-off for a poor consumer like me, but, I want to own a product up to date. That's why I kept on chasing for a fine time to buy the latest gadget. Truth be told, I thought the iPod Touch was not part of this cycle, but I was wrong. I didn't even notice that the iPod Touch was already in the 3rd generation, and then 4th. Simply put, my drive to own the latest iPod left me to become a non-Apple owner for quite some time. You just can't hold on to money for long. And if you want to get the next model, then you need to save ahead of time. With my current savings, I think I am close to own finally an Apple product. But due to circumstances, something inside tells me to prioritize other stuff and wait for the 5th Gen ipod Touch to go on sale. But I dunno, its already been way overdue already. It's now or never, just got to own a damn iPod already.

. . . . . . . . . .

In conclusion, I really do feel that with just enough patience, I will be able to meet my goal. The quest to own an Apple product will be complete. The things that I will do with my new gadget, man, it gets me pump up everyday that I just really need to put up with my crappy job and deal with it just so I get paid and have the means to buy one. The wait will be worthwhile. But looking back, through it all, it took one circular motion in that famous wheel to have the urge to munch on an apple. I can feel the chunks in my mouth already.

You sir, are a genius.

. . . . . . . . . .

In Memory of Steve Jobs
RIP 1955-2011

Drive Away: My Tribute to my Nokia 2730 Classic

2011-09-12T09:03:00.004+08:00

Still one sexy classy phone. Even in Magenta.

In my entire existence, I've only used four phones. The first one was a Nokia 5110. It was around grade school and cellphones were slowly becoming a big thing. Technically speaking I didn't own the phone. It was originally from my dad issued to him from his office. But when he was issued a new phone, he gave us the phone so we can text and contact him any time. And since I was the more techy person in the family, I get to use it a lot, almost mine already. I could remember the time when I suddenly pin blocked the sim card and I just shitted in my pants because back then, sim cards where quite expensive. It wasn't long when I was given my own cellphone. When I graduated grade school, my graduation gift was a Nokia 3310. Now, the 3310 was very famous back then. The 5110 was big and heavy, but the 3310 was small and very stylish at that time. It had comfortable keypads and best of all, it had Space Impact, the coolest game ever invited for the cellphone, at that time. It was such a great device that even kindergarten students have one. It was so cool that my classmate even stole it. We got it back but since then, I couldn't remember why I wasn't able to use that phone anymore.

Three years after that, my parents gave me an advance high school gift in a form of the Nokia 6610i. Now around this time, there have been a lot of phones released. Nokia phones were getting rampant and even other cellphone brands were coming out such as Samsung, LG and Sony Erickson. At that time, life was really simple and there was no need for text messaging. Everyone can still live a life without a cellphone, unlike today. But with the sudden ramp of cellphones, and the fact that communication is much more easier with it, everyone was slowly owning one. The coolest things that could be included on a phone on that time is a colored screen and a camera. I like to think back then that as long I have these two combination in my phone, I'm living the current trend no matter what phone it is. At that time, I was a very rpoud owner. It had a camera which means I can take pictures anywhere. On top of that, I can play colored games, which really sucks now but was cool back then. It was a basic stylish phone and I had it until 4th year college. But through out durng college, my 6610i went to a lot of damages. Sure, it still functions now, but the screen has a purple spot and after using that phone for four years, I felt like I need a new one.

Throughout college, technology in cellphones was becoming too advance. Cellphones were getting much more rampant and the sudden rise of "smartphones" emerge. Touch screens were becoming in and as everyone knows, the iPhone was born and rocked the cellphone industry. But with all the advance technology coming out, I was never relly drawn out to own one. As long as I could text and call, there was no need to own one. But I needed an upgrade. My mother decided it's time to own a new phone. Now, my mother's budget was just arond 500 pesos (around $13) so smartphones was heavily out of the question. Not that I mind about it, but I wanted to own a latest phone. It was hard to choose from all the phones available, but one phone caught my attention. It was just recently released and it looked classy and sexy for a very basic phone. It had all the classic features of a phone but re-profiled with new features for the current times. It was the Nokia 2730 Classic, and from there on, I knew what phone I wanted for Christmas.

Now, I do my research to things that I don't have an idea about, so I made a little bit research about the phone. I watched a lot of reviews in YouTube, read reviews and comparisons to different gadget sites. I know it would be hard to judge something without having to try it first, but after countless reviews, I decided that it was it. No more questions ask, that was the phone I wanted. I an still recall the day when I bought it, the Nokia store we went through, the manager that assisted me, it was such a great day. It was just a cellphone, but it was a cellphone that I have anticipated for such a long time I couldn't contain my excitement. When I finally had it, there was nothing on that phone that I didn't explore and utilize. From messaging, music, games, videos and surfing the web, I used that phone to the full capacity. That phone was almost like my brother, we did a lot of things together. It knows all the messages that I have sent and the messages I have kept. I didn't use it as a camera but some of my well made pictures was taken from that phone. And I may not have a PSP, but I filled it with a tons of games. Best of all, I was able to log-in to Facebook there anytime. Throughout my dramatic moments, that phone was with me and I've always felt that I will have that phone for a very long time. That change just a few nights ago.

It was just a typical night. Another night shift, another workday. Now, I was on my bluetooth listening to some music when I realized I was near my workplace already. The jeepney stopped, went out and I was crossing the street. Suddenly, the music disappeared. I reached out to my pocket and I realized that my pone wasn't there anymore. I quickly checked the jeepney and it wasn't there anymore. I checked the other side of the street and maybe I just dropped it and with no luck, it wasn't there anymore. I tried to think about the moment I went out of the jeep and I could swear I checked before I went out. With a little time left before my shift starts, I called my tita to inform my sister and aprents that to call or text my phone to wanr the driver o any passengers and blasted in Facebook to text and call my phone as well. I get replies saying that it only rings. Once I got home after my shift, I checked it myself and there it was, just ringing. I knew that I didn't had that much time left as the phone will be low in battery. From that there on, I was so disappointed with myself that deep inside I knew I could have done something to retrieve my phone. I could have chased the jeep, it was slightly raining that time but I knew I could have chase it. But its too late, the phone cannot be reached anymore whenever I try to call it. It was a good thing that I still have my 6610i phone. Bought a new sim card, which is very cheap these days and started to collect numbers again. Whenever I try to remember my phone, it breaks my heart. It wasn't no iPhone, HTC or whatever smartphone, but that phone meant a lot to me, especially the memories that I have kept there. It is a shame, but just like any death in the family, you move on.

. . . . . . . . . .

Right now I am in the mode again to scout new phones. The difference right now compared to then is that I have a job now. I can set my own budget. And with technology these days, a smartphone is surely on my mind as of now. But there was really nothing like compared my 2730. It had the looks, the features that any guy could just need. It meant a lot to me. It's a shame it wasn't with me for two tears. That phone was with me through my ups and downs. It's just a shame that I lost it. You may find it funny for me to create a tribute to my phone, an inanimate object, but for me it was like brother. I'll never forget that Magenta-colored Nokia 2730 Classic. Thank you for being a useful reliable phone for almost two years. I don't know if I should still buy the same model or find a better replacement, but deep inside you will always be special. Wherever that phone is right now, I hope that it is in good hands. Losing that phone taught me that maybe there are things in life that I must move on too. I lost special saved messages and lost contacts. The important thing is, I have the chance now to create a new beginning. Life would have still been better if I still had that phone, but just like any disappointing thing to occur in life, God always has a purpose and reason. My Nokia 2730 Classic, it was stylish, classy, elegant and simple. Thank you for being with me through my greatest moments and failures. Thank you for taking my best pictures even in 2 Megapixel. Thank you for keeping my most valuable messages. Thank you for being a great phone. You will never be forgotten.

It Was Just Some Party: How I failed my Thanksgiving Party

2011-09-06T06:55:00.004+08:00

When Eminem released his 6th album Relapse back in 2009, the hip-hop world was in excitement as Eminem started rapping again. It was well anticipated to hear Em' rap after a long hiatus. I kept on listening to Eminem songs from his old albums that I didn't notice that he hasn't made a song ever for quite some time. Everyone anticipated the album and once it was released, it sold a million records after a few weeks and even won two Grammy and other awards. It didn't had the feel of his old albums but every Eminem album is well-made so as I fan I can't really complain. A few months and Eminem released a new single for his Recovery album entitled Not Afraid. Everyone knows that is a dope song, full of emotion and inspiration. But one line really caught my attention when Em spit out "In fact, let's be honest/ That last Relapse CD was 'ehh'/ Perhaps I ran them accents into the ground/ Relax, I ain't going back to that now". Despite the success that Relapse got, Eminem himself felt that it wasn't really that much good. I researched about it and I found out that for Mr. Mathers, the Relapse CD was just a bunch of rap records. At that time, I realized that even if you get to release or produce something, it may not satisfy you in the end.

Same way I felt when my Thanksgiving Party ended.

A few weeks ago, the results of the July 2011 Nursing Board Exam came out. Thank God, I was finally in the list of passers. At that time, I just want to celebrate and have fun. A couple of drinks with friends, maybe a small dinner with the family, but to be honest, having a Thanksgiving Party was out of the question. I just passed. Sure, I only attended final coaching, but it was already my 2nd take. And to be frank, I just hit the passing mark. I was proud of myself, but not impressed. I felt that I didn't do anything that much, it was all God's will. But of course, I was being selfish and I wasn't thinking that my victory meant more to others than to myself. I already promised to some of my friends that I will have a party and to just wait for my call or text. It took a while for me to set-up a date, but I finally got to set it up for a September 3 date. I only had a week to prepare for it but it was enough in every sense. But of course, like Eminem, I am a bit of a perfectionist as well. It felt like I wanted to make the greatest-party-of-the-year. Of course I know I can't but I wanted to have an awesome party, in the terms I have promised to my friends, to be "barbaric". In retrospective, not all my friends pulled-off a thanksgiving party, so there was no need to pressure myself. But sometimes you just want to go things the right way, it sometimes end up short of your expectations.

I want to be clear, I enjoyed my party. I'm happy I pulled it off. It just that I felt that I could have done something better. Just like Eminem, looking back at his Relapse CD, it was just some rap record for him. For me, it was just some party. People had something to eat, had something to eat, but I don't think they have something to talk about after. I felt that I set a high expectation to my guest that I failed them. Most importantly, I failed myself. I just want to have a bombastic party that I was full of myself. I was kidding myself and I felt that I ran that party to the ground. I know my friends enjoyed it, my family had a good time, but I can just feel that in their minds, I know they have a couple of "Noel could have done better if he...". It took me the entire weekend to think about what I missed and what I could have done better, and here are the three things that I wished I could have fixed:

1. Budget - There have been a lot of parties held in our house. Not once did I ever have to share some money. I've been the crew person, the dishwasher, the maintenance boy, but never did I sponsored money, not even to my previous birthday parties. So I only have a small idea how much a party will cost. And the fact that I am already employed, I am obliged to take responsibility of the expenses for my birthday. To be honest, when it comes to money, I'm sometimes a Scrooge. I don't really want to give money that much. As much as possible, I like to spend less. But of course, I know I have to shed some money if I want my party to be a "parteh". I did take out half of my remaining money. It was already enough, but when I look back at the party, I wished I took out a little bit more cash. It would have meant more food, more drinks, and more drinks. I promised a barbaric party and as much as the food and drinks was enough, enough simply isn't barbaric. Well, despite my Tito and his friends took some food and some drinks, something unforeseen, I felt that I still didn't had the "barbaric"budget to have a shitload of drinks. It's better to have more than to have less. The feeling that the you can't consume all drinks is quite convincing that you had a much wicked party compared to going home dry as a camel in the desert.

2. Preparation - I can't really complain on this one that much. My parents were already able to budget the foods they needed to prepare and the drinks that they needed to buy. I had a long stern discussion with my mom with this because I wanted to invite everyone of my classmates and friends in college but at the same time I was hoping not all can come. I will need a hotel if I that is the case. I just know not all will come and no one really cares about me that much but anything could really happen. That's why I wanted to plan the party scientifically by zeroing-out any possible mishaps. I wanted to have Plan B, C or maybe even a D. I ain't no scientist but at the time, I felt my party would be without that much mishaps. Turns out, it went well, but not without any miscalculations. My mother wanted to start at 6PM as some of my relatives were already there but I informed my friends it would start at 7PM. I know they will be late but at least the party will start at 7. It's a good thing my friend and his girlfriend arrived early so at least I had guest friends already when we started. Slowly my friends were coming but the problem is, my Lechon (roasted pig) was already half-consumed. Other viands were fine but the main course was already gone and majority of my friends haven't arrive yet. Luckily it was enough but just to be on the safe side, I asked my sister to buy extra roasted chicken in case the food may not be enough. On the drinks side, when the session began, it was great as I have a huge icebox of beers in it. But after an unforeseen circumstances, I need to go to the nearest Convenience Store to buy more drinks. If you notice the trend here, I had to but extra food and drinks just so I won't run the party dry. It was just a small mishap but something I wished didn't happen if I only planned it well. And also, I took the responsbility of crown control that I seem to have stressed out myself taking care of everything. Even host have assistants too, I ran the show by myself.

3. Documentation - I guess the main part or the main reason why I felt my party sucked was that it lacked "documentation" or it lacked pictures. I keep bashing my sister for borrowing my camera on her school events and just taking few pictures that I hate myself for only taking few pictures in my own party. My camera ain't no DSLR, but it is one cool camera, top of the line digicam of today. So when I woke up Sunday morning to look at the pics, I just felt that I didn't had enough memories to post in Facebook. I could have taken more pictures of my family and friends. I could have taken pictures with each of my guests. I could have created lots of creativity in my pictures that night that I don't know what happened as the camera spend most of its time inside my pocket. I asked a friend about this and for her the only thing that lacked in my party was really pictures. By the look of my album, the people didn't have that much to talk about since there weren't that much evidences there. Damn I sometimes hate myself for owning a camera. I was used to have someone take my pictures, not me taking pictures. Ugh, it disappoints me big time.

Woooo. There. Sometimes it takes a critic to really teach you a lesson. And I'm a huge critic of myself. I criticize myself for not having a better party. By in any standards, I had a decent party. But I raised the expectations a little bit that when it was all said and done, I wasn't really satisfied. But just like Em' on his line, "Relax, I ain't going back to that now", I ain't going back on this one anymore. It happened. Sure, I wasn't completely satisfied, but I'm happy I pulled it off. I did something that others didn't even bother to do anymore. I could wished a lot of things to change, but it is what it is. For everyone that came, I am thankful that you were there present to celebrate my thanksgiving of becoming a registered nurse. Sometimes you just have to ignore the "What ifs" and be glad to "What happened". At the end of the day, people got something to eat, had something to drink and most importantly had a good time. Couldn't say they really really had a great time, but hey, would they stay up in the morning if they didn't? Hmm, a guy like me is already thankful of that even if it wasn't the greatest-party-of-the-year, it was still a party nevertheless. I'll try to make it up and be barbaric on Christmas.

Medicine State of Mind

2011-08-31T13:32:00.013+08:00

Doctors.
Providing care with their wings and getting rich just like any venomous snake would do.

Being a doctor was something I never consider to have as a profession. When I was still young, being a pilot was something I wanted to be. I didn't really have a reason at first but since my father is assign at the airport, I get to go there a lot and I was always fascinated with the thought of driving a huge plane growing up. I guess every kid is fascinated with the sky and thinking that I can visit my father everyday at work made me considered being a pilot. It was a childish reason but nevertheless it was something I was sure at that time that I wanted to be. After hundreds of "pilot of the coconut" jokes, I wanted to be a computer engineer. Back in grade school, I was exposed to computer games a lot and quite frankly to a lot of electronics as well. I enjoyed the technology that the computer brought into my life, how it works, functionality, the formation, it just blew me away. Of course at that time, I didn't knew I was playing with a console that came out before I was born and getting excited of owning a Playstation when a Playstation 2 was already the cream of the crop. Throughout high school, I still wanted to be a computer engineer. I used the computer and internet so much that if I want to have something as a job, that would be dealing with computers.

Still don't have an idea what a computer engineer does. Cue Mr. Repair Man.

And as everyone knows, I turn out the be a nurse. After four years of being a bachelor of nursing with science and two board exams later, I am finally a professional nurse. Currently I am not practicing my profession. Got a lot of money problems in life and with the current scenario of nursing in the Philippines, the money is not in the bag if you are a nurse here. I still want to be a nurse, I just want to be loaded first before I become one. But while my road of being a nurse might take some time, there was a thought that I seem to have pounded over the past few weeks. I know that it might sound crazy and it might seem tad for my case, but deep inside, I have considered taking med school.

I don't even thing they are real doctors. But if you are one you can take any of them out anytime.

Throughout my high school and college life, I have kept that image of being a "smart guy". Truth be told, even during my grade school years, I was a smart guy. But from high school, it just went downhill from there. I was studying only when I needed the most or if I'm about to fail. I've always depended on my IQ in some ways but with my human shortcomings, I was more dumb rather than genius. Studying that much was just never my means of living a life to the fullest. I wanted to learn things by experience and not much with books or words. Thank God despite taking a bookish nursing course, I was able to pass it. It took a little bit of college ingenuity for me to make it but never have I relayed that much with books. But with med school, it is quite different. Being a doctor meant that you were naturally smart and knows how to drive oneself to study every night, eating books and chugging down coffee. For you to be a good doctor, you need to be a smart doctor. And on top of that, you need to have the funds to take on medicine or be that damn smart to take a scholarship. Being a doctor for some is a dream, but the road there is one topsy-turvy ride.

Checking the heartbeat of a picture of a heart for the sake of medicine.

But despite the trials of being a med student is well-documented, the end note is something that not everyone else can achieve. Simply put, being a professional doctor, a person with a PhD on the end of their name and a consultant is simply a great honor to be. It is about doing something special as a living, getting to cure sickness and save people's lives. Money will always be there, but the ability to create miracles in a daily basis is something you just can compare to any job. You can get the respect of everyone and just the fact alone that you become a doctor is already enough for people to tip their hats even if you haven't treated someone yet. I guess the credibility of being a doctor was something that captivated me. Despite earning a degree as a professional nurse, no one really gives a crap about the professionalism a nurse brings. Nurses don't get professional fees in the Philippines and with all the nurses out there, being a nurse is not much of an achievement, more of a typical stuff. You can say you're proud, I can say I'm proud, but at the end of the day, you or me is just a nurse meeting half-way the needs of life. We're living our calling but we don't have that much to be living. The complications of being a nurse is nothing new, but with medicine, no matter what, being a doctor makes you a somebody. No one will ever take you for granted.

"My stethoscope has more sponsors than you bitch!"

Everyone laughs, even my own mother, when I mention that I consider to be a doctor. My mother knows well that I am not the type of person to sit down and study for a day. And with our current financial situation, med school tuition is too much for my small middle-class family to bare, let alone the cost of books and other stuff, exams, etc. Things is, med school is quite expensive, obviously. Yeah sure being a doctor will help you live a wealthy life, but before that, your parents need to shed some money first before they can invest at you. I guess not everyone is meant to be a doctor. I guess I just look at myself lowly that I want to be somebody a decade from now. I know my friends in med school will be a bunch of rich somebodies 10 years from now, but I guess I'm just bothered with what I am going to be in the future. Reality wise, I guess I'll never be a doctor. But being a doctor just gives me that sense of purpose. I have the abilities to care for people as a doctor, I just don't know if I have the drive to be a doctor. To mold myself to be a doctor is a huge challenge and that it why I am always intimidated to all the doctors all over the world. The road, the path they took is unheard of, on for them to achieve it, I bow my head to them. It's too complicated for me and it will take some extra hard working to become one. Guess I just leave the med life to people who are smart and dedicated to cure people as their calling. I'm just fine with the serving the people and assisting the doctor job. But man, having to cure people, driving around with a neat car, going home in a nice house, getting calls from nurses and hospital directors, trips around the world, life of a doctor is a joy ride. It sure would be sweet, but at the end of the day, someone has got to be famous, which I am trying to be instead, haha!

I could still be a doctor of thugonomics. Word Life with a PhD bitches!!

The Comeback: Redemption, Triumph, and Victory on a 'Game 7' Nursing Board Exam

2011-08-28T19:43:00.006+08:00

Before I start, let me just first say take you to a very interesting road of posts that I wrote here in my blog about my thoughts in my review for the NLE Board Exam and the Board Exam itself:

From trying to complete my cases...

My initial thoughts of taking my board exam...

My reaction to friends passing and gearing myself for my own moment...

And some complications during the review...

Although I never got to write about the time I took the board and never got to finish my post when I failed the December 2010 Board, it has been a long road and finally, I can finally write my "victory" post.

It was any ordinary saturday night. I decided to go to the gym and work out. Days before that, I already knew it was the night that the July 2011 results will come out. The day before that on a friday morning, I was already on the 9th day in my fourth straight St. Jude Novena. I had the feeling that God was telling me that the board exam results were coming out. I was prepared, but I was scared, something I wasn't during the first board. I was humbled after failing, and I guess that's what it took for me to seek God more. I almost lost God, but I cling on to that little faith I have. Over time it grew, an it deed. Came Saturday, and my faith was in all time high. I went to the gym to clear of my mind, but while I was lifting weights, I felt that angels were singing to me saying "I am a RN". In which I kept saying to myself, "I am a RN". It was a power of God that I just can't find the right words to explain. And after I was done, I checked my phone and I got six messages and three missed calls. On that moment, I knew it already. I made some calls, replied to some messages, God it was such a great feeling. I was the only one in the locker room, I was jumping wih joy and even my eyes were a little bit teary-eyed.

I came home and I received a hug from my mom. My dad was already drunk since he had a drink with his friends earlier afternoon and shook my hands and congratulated me. It was such an overwhelming feeling. I checked my Facebook and thank everyonethat greeted me. Didn't really got any congratulations to some people but whatever, I couldn't care at that time. A lot of of my already RN friends were spoiling the fun by saying that there is no job waiting, a lot of trainings and seminars to go through, but whatever, it was our moment, this was something they can't take from us. But seriously, I was also not into a frenzy compared to others, I was just happy, but at the same time content. Passing the board was a great achievement but not that impressive knowing there are thousands of RNs out there. I just knew that I was finally on the right track, I didn't have an idea what to do next, all I know is I wanted to get wasted and just celebrate.

Truth be told, I don't know what to say or what to write. Things have changed since then and to be honest, I'm not really in the mood to write but this was something I wanted to do, something I planned to do and I'm not going to miss this moment. Passing the board exam was something that I've always had in my mind since my first day at college of nursing. I know that graduating a BSN was just a preparation, passing the board is the first step to a life as a nurse. It was the validation that you are indeed a professional, a registered nurse. Failing the board taught me that being a registered nurse wasn't all that, I felt that I could succeed in life without having to achieve it. But deep inside, I wanted it, I craved for it. God knows I worked my ass off when I was still in school studying nursing. Sure, I didn't put that much effort to be the most intelligent student nurse at school or even at my class, but I can assure you that in duties, in the hospital, in the community, I worked my ass off. That's why I wanted to pass the board, to be professional, to validate my hard work in college and most of all, to serve God's people as a nurse.

Having to experience failure and passing it made me felt that I had it better than others. It gave me the perspective of having to know two sides of the story. It would have been nice if I pass the first time, but just that how things goes. God had a reason, as all of my friends said, and I guess He did have a reason. I guess that God wanted me to be stronger, to grasp life in a much better way. God wanted me to fall to know how much it takes to get back-up. It wasn't an easy path I tell you, but to finally get it, damn, it was a great feeling. Although with almost all my friends already registered nurses, it didn't had that much impact as I already knew what will transpire and some off them don't even have jobs yet, in truth no one really cared that much I passed. I made my family very happy but for the rest, they've been there and in regards to me passing, meh, it was just a different aura.

If I would have passed the first time, I would have written something special here. It would have been glorious, epic, outstanding. But now, its just feels bland. I'm just glad to know I passed, an anchor was lifted away, but I'm still working in a call center with no signs of leaving yet as I yet to earn and save money. Come to think of it, I want to celebrate with my friends but deep inside I feel like I don't need to celebrate. Life has exhausted me already that having a week off by doing nothing will be fine already for me. I still got a lot of shit to deal with but it damn sure feels like the biggest shit of them all has finally been flushed away.I'm just very thankful that God gave this to me. Now the only question remaining is where do I go from now? I have redeemed myself, I have triumphed over the adversity of becoming a professional nurse and I've gained victory in this "Game 7" Board Exam, what comes next. There are a lot of answers, scenarios, options I could choose but the current situation I have right now doesn't make them easy for me. I've got a lot on my plate right now I can't even write something glorious for me passing the board.

Nevertheless, I can finally say that my road to be a registered nurse is finally complete. Now all I need to focus now is to set a course to be a nurse. I don't know how much it takes, I don't know how it will go, but when I made that promise to God to serve his people as a nurse, even if not for a lifetime and just for a few years, I will find a way to achieve it. Being a nurse was something I wanted to do, but I know myself that I can do more than that. But this is my profession, this is what God wanted me to take. Live or let die, I will be a nurse no matter what. I have achieved first step, and I am on my way again for a road only God knows where it will take me. For my family and friends who have been there for me, thank you. To St. Jude be the glory. And especially to our Almighty God, thank you! Now I know how it feels like to comeback from losing the finals a year ago and winning it the next time. :D

It All Ends: My Magical Journey in the World of Harry Potter

2011-07-18T16:24:00.025+08:00

What is going to end? We still want Harry Potter and the Lord of the Rings!

As I exited the cinema complex, I was somewhat sleepy and hungry at the same time. I didn't really had extra money to find someplace else to eat and pretty much, I just wanted to go home and rest. I dragged my tired body out and then it hit me in the head real quick. It was my last time to walk out on a Harry Potter movie. I just watched the last and final Harry Potter movie. The story of the Boy-Who-Lived has finally ended. To think for a franchise that I was exposed with for 10 years, something that felt like it would never end, has finally came to a conclusion. Come to think of it, half my life, deep inside my retched heart, I was always a Harry Potter fanboy.

It was way back in 2001 when the world was struck by the Harry Potter phenomenon. When the movie came out, everyone was in awe of the story of a boy wizard with a lightning bolt for a scar, who survived a death cruse and seemingly defeated the dark wizard, He-who-must-not-be-named. At that time, I was still a bumbling 10 year old in my final year in Grade school. Back then, any movie that can get the attention of the people and becomes the talk of the town was an instant "must see" for me and my family. Add to the fact that Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone was aimed for children, no doubt it was a movie that I wanted to watch. The moment I heard the magical theme intro, I was hooked to it from beginning to end. I grew up always expose to superheroes and cartoons, so a world filled with magic and wizards really was new to me and easily caught the attention of my 10 year old brain.

The only wizard related I have here in our country before Harry Potter.

Coming to school, everyone was talking about Harry Potter. Me and my friends would spend our breaks talking about how cool it is to go to a wizarding school, shouting Wingardium Leviosa at objects by using our fingers as wands, and simply just get fascinated with the different characters, objects and creatures found in the movie. Then, one of my brainy classmates told us that Harry Potter was based on a book and she even brought the book. From there and there, I grew fascinated with the franchise, knowing it was the 1st of seven. But in all honesty, I didn't really thought about reading the books (and at that time I was never really into reading any books, ever) as me and my friends thought that as long as they make movies about it, who needs to read right?

Eight films, always about Harry surviving in the end, it doesn't get any complicated than that.

It has become a yearly tradition for the Harry Potter movies to come out, and it has reached new heights. Harry Potter was becoming popular. Shows, TV skits, magazines, everyone was riding the Harry Potter train. It was a cash cow no doubt. And despite facing another book-based/fantasy film like the Lord of the Rings Trilogy in the box office for a few years, it stood its ground and was clearly the best fantasy movie there is. And being a gamer, Harry Potter video games was something I didn't pass on. I was hooked in every Harry Potter video games I can hold my hands with, whether it is on a Gameboy Color, Playstation or PC, if I get to throw of speels and ride broomsticks, I pop the game and I play it for hours and hours, especially in the Gameboy.

"Or you can just walk it off. You survived a death curse, what is just a mouse bite right?"

Despite being emphasized as a book franchise, reading it was way out of the question for me. For one, I only like reading comic books and I don't even get to barely read all my school books. And then all of a sudden, my uncle sent us a balik-bayan box filled with gifts for us. It was around 2004 and pretty much I was way not into toys anymore. So a gift from my Uncle that time was intriguing. Included on the box was the first four Harry Potter books, instructed to be placed in his room. And then, he had another set of the 1st four books, in which for each book, was assigned to one of us cousins. My eldest cousin got the Chamber of Secrets book, her brother got the Sorcerer's Stone book, my sister got the Prisoner of Azkaban book and out of all the books, I got the thickest, which was the Goblet of Fire. Don't get me wrong, the books are great, but book reading was not really something I want to do. I tried to read it, but just holding the 734 page book really killed any notion for me to read it. The fourth movie wasn't released yet at that time and so my curiosity really pushed me to just read the book. But I needed a way to give me the focus to read it. And for me to take on a book filled with 734 pages, I needed to warm-up by reading the first book.

And I read all of these because I don't want to read my school books.

The moment I read the first sentence of the first book, my mind was simply divulged into the world of Harry Potter. It was more clear, the book had more details and from there and out, I wanted to know the story by reading it word per word. As every chapter past, I didn't notice that I was done with the first book already. And then I started with the second and then on to the third. I've been reading for two weeks straight. And when it was finally the time to read the fourth book, I didn't hesitate to even bother take a break. Every after assignments, I would quickly go to my bed and read the book. After a week, it was finally done. I have accomplished to read the entire four books. It was an accomplishment I never thought I'd be able to accomplish, to have read those books, never thought I'd even have the guts to read one. The Harry Potter books were known to be challenging to read, but no matter, for a non-book lover, I was able to do it. And around that time, the fifth book was released, and not long after, I borrowed one in our library and my reading reached new highs as I was reading the book during breaks at school. Everyone who knew me would never ever expect that I read Harry Potter books.

No one also expected that I watch porn either back then, but hey hey!

After the fifth book, I became what you would call a "Harry Potter Geek" Everything there is to Harry Potter at that point, I knew and I knew by heart like it was on the back of my hand. I familiarize more the history of Hogwarts more than El Filibusterismo. Even the hardest Harry Potter Quizzes felt like adding one number to another. And even before or while watching the movies that came after the third, I would be able catch the flaws, the lapses and tell all the differences. I would show a frowning face whenever someone spit wrong facts and use the knowledge as pick-up lines to girls who ask something about Harry Potter. The Harry Potter Mythology was something I never felt I would be able to master. It was one of my repertoire and strengths and I felt invincible. But of course, college came and things became different. I got busy and I couldn't hold on to the great Potter knowledge that I have. I was still lucky enough to read Half-Blood Prince, but it was rushed, and from there, I was just looking forward to watch the movies. When the final book came out, I got to read it but I jumped in a couple of chapters and read the juice of the story in some other sites like Wikipedia. All in all, I felt like I have outgrown the series. I still love it, but I just wasn't into it that much. Note that I was still a kid when Harry Potter came, it was part of my childhood that I have outgrown since. I've kept my interest at the Harry Potter franchise, but I couldn't remember anymore who is who and who did what. Being a HP geek really didn't last long and I was just back to being a plain fanboy.

. . . . .

Watching the final movie, for me it didn't have that epic feel for a final film of a series but it was still a great finale overall for every Potter fan. I'm not really much that nostalgic, but I am still grateful for the wonderful years that the Harry Potter series has provided for me. Up to this day, the HP series is the only set of fictional books that I have read completely and most probably the only series I will ever read. It has captured my imagination greatly to the point that it encouraged me back then to make a story about Baltazar Crane, a Hogwarts student who is secretly defending Harry Potter from any harm and danger and also has his own adventures around Hogwarts. I also remembered back then when promised that after college, I would take a break for a month and just read all the books but I didn't knew back then what post-college life would be so it never really pushed through. I could tell more stories about my experience with the Potterverse, movie, books, or games, but all in all, it was a great ride. Good things must come to an end and I can't really think of the best words to explain how fun the Harry Potter series has been. One of these days, I might write more stuff about Harry Potter, but for now, I am here to celebrate the success of the franchise. I never really believed that Harry Potter was for nerdy geeks and girls. It didn't matter what age, sex, anyone can enjoy the magic of Harry Potter. I enjoyed it and I am not ashamed of it. Indeed it all ended, but the magic of Harry Potter will never disappear in the hearts of every muggle that has been touched by the awe-inspiring story and bare-witnessed the glory of the Boy-Who-Lived.

And they lived happily ever after. But of course, you can only imagine how they had to clean that up.

One year ago.....

2011-07-16T16:15:00.002+08:00

July 16, 2010.

I thought it was the day.

Its been a year, and I could still remember it.

Fresh from my mind like it was just yesterday, fucked-up clustered in my deranged mind.

Never been the same since that day, everything just fucking changed.

For those of you who don't know, exactly one year ago I proposed to a girl to be my girlfriend. She was a classmate of mine back in 4th year college, not so long ago. If you read my posts here in my blog, there's a good chance you'll know who I'm talking about. It's not like I can't mention her name, but you know, do you research if the curiosity kills you. But if you are reading this right now, I guess I caught your attention and pretty much you want to know what I'm talking about. But before you proceed, you might want to read here first what I got to say when this thing was just fresh, get an idea on what happened on that day. I wrote about this a month after that single unfaithful day, exactly a month after, like in August.

Done reading it? Sure? Ohh, okay, then lets proceed.

To be quite honest, whenever I try to recall the events on that day, it doesn't sting that much as it used to. But, it can still make me skip a beat whenever I try to have some reminiscing or something. A lot of things happened since that day, but in everyday that passed, every week, every month, there was no single chance that I wasn't thinking about her. Whether it will be for an hour, minute or just a few seconds, no day has passed that I didn't think of her. You might think, "Dude, get over her". I am, definitely. But what makes here special was that she just wasn't an ordinary girl, she created that change in my life. And as much as I want to say I have gotten over her, the reason of your metamorphosis is something you can't easily forget. Sure, you forgive, but sometimes, you'll always remember that guy that gave you that scar or the bitch that made that rumor about you. All in all, some things can be accepted, forgiven, but can never be easily forgotten.

I guess it affected me greatly is because I bank on it too much. Sure, I've corrected some mistakes I have done in the past in regards in courting a girl, didn't give that much, but if you know me well, me not giving that much is still giving too much for some other guys. It was like the biggest gamble I had to make in my life. To get her would have been a jackpot, money in the bank. But to fail, I know it was worst than harakiri, less likely noble than kamikaze, but pretty much, I'll die if I failed. It was the type of risk in which I calculated greatly. Weighing the pros and cons, pretty much I thought I could get a clean shot. I wouldn't really take a shot if I knew I didn't have the chance, but that was the thing, I thought I had the chance. I thought she was the type of girl that might go out in a date with me, a dinner or two. But I just overlooked things, it was foul-proof back then, but now it seems clear that I was heading to a lonely sunset even the moment it started.

Truth is, no one really banked on me succeeding. Everyone has this notion that I go for girls that are just way "out of my league". Well, if you look at my past maybe it is partly true, but in honesty I went for those girls, especially her, because my heart told me to. She wasn't the sexiest girl, not the most beautiful, didn't had the best personality, she wasn't the best overall, but everything about her felt perfect for me. Everyone, in a way, still was rooting for me, for fun's sake I guess. Providing help, both good and bad, in the most unnecessary times. They knew it would be triumphant for me to succeed, but my failure was something they knew was foreseeable. We could debate on this, whether I should or should have not, but I just followed my heart, and damn straight for the good times, it was worth the try.

I don't really wanna dwell on how she is to me, how she is perfect in every aspect for me, but just to summarize everything, she was a girl you would go out and get hurt for you know. She is one in the entire population of this world. She is like no other, and she was something I imagine waking up with in the morning. Don't want to get cheezy because I might be tagged again as a "bitter guy", but it is what it is. She is a huge part on my life, because for every moment my heart cried and giggled with joy, she was the center of it, she was part of it. To be quite honest we haven't talked or text that much lately. Haven't even seen her for a while. But I've heard she already has a boyfriend, in which I am happy for her, I mean, she was single for quite some time so pretty much, I'm glad she has someone to drive her around [Insert Justin Bieber song here]. Joke!

All I know is, every since that day, I have become a stone-cold bastard who doesn't really give that much fuck. Acting all bad-ass, action star loner who rolls around this dog-eat dog world. Maybe because I'm just afraid to acknowledge that maybe, I was traumatized that day. Something inside me died big time. I seemed to have both suppressed and repressed "Love". Ever since that day I've crossed a lot of girls in my life, seemingly gaining the potential to be the next girl I'll write a poem to, but it just never pushed through. Maybe they were not good enough, maybe I just don't want to hurt them, maybe they already have a boyfriend, or maybe I just messed up. All I know is that I've never tried that much since then, and I have that odd feeling that I don't really plan too. Sometimes I think I should just practice single life. Oh, don't worry, I'll still find ways to get me some sugar and some pies but you know, just be single and worry about nothing. I don't know, I tend to be lost in love these days.

Pretty much, a lot of things have happened since that day. One year, wow. If it went the other way, today would have been our anniversary. Leaves me to wonder what we would have been doing right now. Out for a movie? Eating outside? Both at work. Both at home because we don't have money. At her house? At my house? In a bed, doing what? Haha! I don't know. To be honest, that day was so painful that I can't even bare to imagine life with her anymore. Never had the imagination to carry out a pleasant scene in my mind. Every month that passed since that day, I try to remember it, like it was suppose to be our anniversary of sorts. But I think after the 5th month prior that day, I stopped. There was no point of trying to think about it. It was what it was. It happened. My heart isn't shattered right now, it's completely gone and that's why maybe I'm back to my "No reaction" mode again. It doesn't matter what comes next in my life, pretty much I feel like I'm in to deep shit right now, still have to find the light of switch to turn things around, but for now, I'll go where the flow brings me, heaven or hell, whatever, live life as it is.

One thing I would just like to emphasize though, I am happy for her and by any chance I do not keep a grudge. Sure, here I am talking about what happened on that day, but its history for me. Part of something monumental in your life. Will I be ever okay again? I don't know. But the one things that matters is that somewhere out there, whether she is out on a date, with her friends or family, eating or watching TV, as long as she smiles, I smile. God, I love her. Note, not past tense, because I still do, as that special girl that made my heart skip a beat. She was special, and she might have not looked at me as a potential boyfriend or an ideal man, but we had our moments. Yeah, was not able to take her out on a date, but we have shared moments chasing nurses, chief nurses and clinical instructors to sign our exhibit forms. That counts I guess, right? Haha! I don't know if I'll ever see her again. I think I still will, but you know, for drama sakes, sometimes I wish I won't. Because I don't know what I'll do or say if I get to see her again. Maybe its better that way.

I'm a change man. And I'm over this. This has caused me great pain, but I took a chance because I believed in love. Say what you want to say, I did what my heart told me to do. Would I talk about this again? Maybe. But for now, I'm just reminiscing on that unfaithful day. That experience taught me a lot of important thinks in life. I just smile whenever I think about the time when we were already talking in the Roxas benches at our school. Still remember her words, "Basta 'wag lng lagi"(Just don't). She did what she need to do. Maybe I would have done the same. I wasn't good enough for her, simple as that, no need to complicate things. But for all it's worth, I will never ever forget that day. A day that in my life I will forever remember, July 16, 2010, the girl I have truly loved the most, rejected me, one year ago.....

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