Blogging for real. Blogging with honesty.

Tree-Hugging Spotlight!

noreply@blogger.com (Mysti) — Mon, 01 Oct 2007 13:00:00 +0000

Jennifer at Tree Hugging Family requested pictures from her readers when she started the blog. I happened to do just that!

My little man, or son, depending on perspective, has been flashed upon her blog. While I offered up pictures that are from a recent fishing trip we took, I have many more to share.

Jaden has spent many days on the Turner ranch, just outside of Evanston, Wyoming. His adventures with cattle are great. This picture was taken in the heart of winter as he was able to ride along and feed the cows first hand, or barrel.

Now, there's no trip out to the ranch without the chance to ride on a horse, right? Jaden has had his adventures upon his favorite, Buck, who is just over 20 years old and a barrel racing champion. One tender horse!

While in the same part of the state, Jaden and I can often be found at Bear River State Park. It's a fantastic area in the spring, summer and fall. Personally, I've never ventured out there in the heart of winter as a cup of warm cocoa sounds a bit more inviting.

This particular trip included a great deal of wind. Pardon the wind-blown hair styles.

And yes, occasionally Mom gets in the picture as well.

The Casper, Wyoming area is home to some small but beautiful waterfalls. I spent a great deal of time there while pregnant with Jaden and shared in that area after the weather warmed just after his first birthday.

The outdoor adventures for this family come often. Jaden loves spending time outside and helping to clean up trash too!

Thanks again to Jennifer for sharing photo's of Jaden! I hope you enjoy seeing a bit more of Jaden's adventures.

Don't forget to head over to see me on my new blog!

A Long Time in the Making

noreply@blogger.com (Mysti) — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 21:32:00 +0000

There was a time when blogging wasn't popular and didn't fall into the cool, hip or rad categories. I, myself, blogged during that time! I've managed to run approximately 9 different blogs in that time. Some were around for a very lengthy time and others lasted only a few short months. Some were abandoned due to their personal nature, while others ended up finding their way to a password and user protected blog. So what's the point you ask? I've finally opted to combine some of those blogs into one large blog. There are still a few other's I must scan through prior to incorporating certain posts, but they have been combined, nonetheless.

You can find my grand blog here. I do hope that you will stop by and take a peek. I'm sure there are a few things you'd be shocked to find!

busy

noreply@blogger.com (Mysti) — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 03:03:00 +0000

My last two days have been filled with TONS of activities! I have deep cleaned the kitchen, living room, my closet and Jaden's closet. I've reorganized all the cabinets and in the process eliminated two bags of garbage from this place. I still have a few rooms and closets to go; but it's starting to feel much better in here - and more organized!

I have pretty well finished up the painting in the bathroom and have begun to put it back together. I'm not sure what I'll do with the ability to use a toilet paper holder again!! I'll finish that up in the morning.

I've applied for a few different jobs - in and out of the home. Tomorrow leaves a few other things to care for in that department, but all in all, not too bad.

I've managed to prepare supper and have it on the table by 5 pm the last two nights as well. (We're up at 330 am, so 5pm is supper here!) My kitchen, surprisingly, is still clean! HORRAY!

Tomorrow I'm going to begin tackling the hallway. It's not going to be a fun one to paint, but it's become painfully obvious that I'm going to have to get the ball rolling on finishing up the painting in this place. If Momma doesn't do it; it ain't gettin' done!

So that's about it on my end. I've also done tons of job searching for my site and managed to have job leads posted by 9am! huge feat in itself there!

I hope everyone else is having a fantastically productive week as well! Humpday is officially over in my world and it's time to sleep... if the three year old will tire, that is!

Falling

noreply@blogger.com (Mysti) — Wed, 19 Sep 2007 14:32:00 +0000

It's an amazing time of year when the refreshing cool arctic air begins to push downward, bringing a season of extraordinary color changes, quickly consumed with fluffy white flakes.

fall is one of my two favorite seasons out of the year. I cherish seeing the vivid colors and the reminder of the cycle of life. Festive holidays are abound!

This year, I'm falling into fall with my whole heart! Here are a few things I look forward to:

1. Breaking out sweaters and wearing them with jeans and boots. The most comfortable clothing I can dream of wearing!
2. Building fires in the fireplace and snuggling in with a good book or a great movie!
3. Family! This season brings out a strong commitment to family and spending that quality time with them is amazing!
4. Holiday preparation! For those who know me, I've not been so fond of the holidays since Reiley died, but this year, I absolutely cannot wait for them to arrive! I plan on dressing in Halloween best with my son, trick-or-treating; baking until my hearts content for Thanksgiving and Christmas, with shopping galore and excited looks gleaming across the faces of everyone as they see just what surprise has been left for them under the tree.
5. Snowmen! Although our falls are short-lived, I can't wait to get out and build a fantastic snowman with my son!

It's going to be an absolutely amazing end of the year! I look forward to every single activity and event we can manage to find!

What are your plans for fall/winter? Are there any little things that you are excitingly anticipating?

Web Design

noreply@blogger.com (Mysti) — Tue, 18 Sep 2007 18:10:00 +0000

So I've been toying around with a new web design for pewam.com. I'm learing a fun program in the process. It's actually quite neat to see just what a program is capable of doing!! It will be interesting to see what design I come up with and implement! I'll announce those changes here!

Feeling the Sadness

noreply@blogger.com (Mysti) — Tue, 18 Sep 2007 04:09:00 +0000

It's painfully obvious that I will have to return to the working force outside of my home at this point. With all that has transpired in recent days involving the lack of pay from the magazine, I have to seek out childcare and find a position elsewhere. I'm devastated.

I think I realized tonight just how important it is for me to be an active part of my son's life. He's loved having me home, even when I've been crabby and irritable with my stress levels as high as they were. I've enjoyed that time too, even though I've had moments where I've wanted to rip my hair out and beg for a moment of peace.

Can I tell you just how much I enjoy when he pops into the bathroom while I'm taking a shower and sits there to talk to me? Goodness, it's so awesome. Jaden is growing up so quickly, and I cherish each and every moment that I have with him. I don't want to lose those moments, and I will when I step out of the house and go work in a different building, leaving my son to be cared for by someone else.

Tomorrow begins the quest to find a position elsewhere. :(

Powered by Qumana

A Tidbit of Information

noreply@blogger.com (Mysti) — Sun, 16 Sep 2007 18:29:00 +0000

I took a position at the end of August with Animal Fair. The position called for a Web Editor with HTML experience. I responded to the ad with a short query letter as I was actually curious if they would allow for a telecommuting position. The following morning, I received an email from the owner of the company, which resulted in numerous communications back and forth, ending with a job offer.

I began working that same day. I was overwhelmed at first with the mass amounts of information that was delivered; but worked through it and began making the updates and changes necessary.

The days passed by and Ms. D was becoming more frustrated as there was an article coming out in Forbes where she discussed the launch of her new site. That site was not completed and she wanted it done months ago. Her demands for working countless hours adjusting this item or that, making specific updates and the like. It was becoming an issue with my family as I was up early in the morning and working well into the night. After she opted to terminate the programmer (which I am not), she wanted to know if I could do certain things. I can do things related to HTML, however, PHP is a different story - and what her new site is coded in.

With a new programmer in toe, options were offered as to the direction of her site. She opted to go with one option; and changed it mid-stream. Her inability to wait and follow through with the course of action she decided upon was the downfall to our business relationship.

As the week has progressed, I've received quite a few emails from her in regards to the site. I'm now facing having to fight for my wages, which has left me highly unhappy with the entire situation.

As a warning to those out there, don't apply for any position calling for a web editor without first contacting me with the ad. If the ad states in any fashion, "New website launch need someone to check all our pages, make sure we launch with great editorial! Pop culture, celebrities, animals, travel, chefs! Fun content! Please send us your resume, why you are the right person and be able to start asap!" This is for the same company and is not recommended in any manner!!

Ahhhhhh

noreply@blogger.com (Mysti) — Thu, 13 Sep 2007 02:04:00 +0000

So it's been a crazy few weeks, to say the least. I've taken on a job that is fantastic in and of itself, but there is someone that is making the work near unbearable. Tomorrow will mark the "final" discussion about the position and what will transpire. I will, of course, offer more information about all of that after an agreement is reached - or not.

I also spoke with a company I do some regular work for - but haven't had a set contract for payment. I will be working on drawing that one up tomorrow - as well as one for the aforementioned position if my conditions are met.

On to the personal stuff - We took a fantastic trip this weekend past out to Curt Gowdy State Park. I took over 100 photo's from our fishing expedition and birthday celebration. The trip came just in time before fall weather set in. Hopefully we will be able to take one more day trip out that way in the coming weeks. I'd love to spend the day hiking in the area. Truly breath taking! (Okay, I keep talking. I promise I'll share some pictures!!)

Speaking of pictures, I do have some before/after pictures I need to get posted for the Extreme Home Makeover Edition that took place in the area. I also need to hound a friend of mine about getting my explosion footage to me! I won't be posting any information or interviews with the family - as they are under a strict no-talk agreement until the show airs. Once I have a confirmation of that date, I will be able to post an interview and possible pictures of the inside. Legal stuff - totally understandable.

I guess that's about it for now. I will get back to posting more now. Oh - and just so you know... my second blog is gone - sort of! I started my own dot com this week with information there and more information that I've collected. You can view the entire site at http://www.pewam.com

Farewell for now!

Heartfelt Movie

noreply@blogger.com (Mysti) — Sun, 09 Sep 2007 22:40:00 +0000

Imagination. Innovation. Inspiration.

After thirteen years of Nowata High School Football losses, the mayor starts a petition for the team's running to come to an end. Will Clark, played by Mac Davis, sets out to save the once great team.

After the new season should have started, Will begins broadcasting imaginary sports cast over the radio. The town unites in the inspiration! With Nowata High winning the State Championship game; they are faced to play the 'real' champions.

Heart warming and inspirational! Winners never quit and quitters never win!

A Personal Situation- Update

noreply@blogger.com (Mysti) — Tue, 04 Sep 2007 10:12:00 +0000

As I haven yet to update on this situation, and people are inquiring to know, I figured that would be best, today.

Fortunately, I had taken on a new job on Tuesday, so when he did show up on Wednesday, I was extremely busy, working. I was on a major crunch time with deadlines, so they stayed for about 15 minutes and then went to check into his hotel. He called a few hours later and asked if we were ready to go to dinner, and I told him I was extremely busy, so he said he would come by about 630 for a short while.

Rob was home by that time, which brought added comfort to me. I had discussed with Rob all the feelings I had towards his insisting to be here, etc. We left in separate vehicles and met at the restaurant. I let my son be the center of attention, moving back and forth in the table. He was a fantastic distraction for Gary, and kept him pretty quiet most of the meal.

Food arrived, we ate, and then shared just a few words; nothing including poor language choices and we went our separate ways.

Fortunately, the visit was short, very short. He didn't push the proverbial thumb and although I was completely worked up, he wasn't able to pull me down.

Just a little Update

noreply@blogger.com (Mysti) — Sun, 02 Sep 2007 13:50:00 +0000

I took a position with Animal Fair and my schedules completely haywire! I should settle down into a good routine this week and I'll get back to the regular postings.

Just a tip - No one ever said working from home would be easy!!!

A Personal Situation

noreply@blogger.com (Mysti) — Mon, 27 Aug 2007 16:40:00 +0000

I don't have the greatest past, and avoid contact with one person as he still leaves my skin crawling. He's passing through town and is making it blatantly obvious, with the numerous phone calls over the past four days, that he will be making his way here and will be stopping, no matter what reasoning I give him otherwise.

I am angry and frustrated. I don't like for people just to stop by at my home, and unless I want someone in my home, I don't appreciate them taking it upon themselves to find their way here.

So who is this person and why, if I really can't stand him, does he know my address and phone number?

This person would be my 'father.' Better described as the man who adopted me when I was eight, claims to be my father, yet still, somehow, likes to force himself into my life and cause disruption in any way possible.

The only reason he wants to stop by is to meet my other half, as Cheyenne is on his way to see his 'real' son in Indiana. He wants to stretch his fatherly thumb down when he's been far from an active part in MY life since about the time my mother passed away in 2001. For that matter, the last time he saw his grandson was the last trip I took to Evanston; when my younger brother had his first child over a year ago.

He's committed to being here sometime Wednesday afternoon and wants to take us out to dinner. Horray, said in a very sarcastic manner as I rolled my eyes.

So, I'm curious... Is it possible to change my phone number and move in two days?

Revamp and Redirection

noreply@blogger.com (Mysti) — Sat, 25 Aug 2007 16:08:00 +0000

This blog has become cluttered. Yes. Cluttered! I have had it with wanting to go so many directions, covering multiple topics and disrupting the flow of this blog, because of that, I created a new blog which turned into it's very own dot-com! My new site is dedicated to providing information for proofreaders, editors, writers, and more (work from home job opportunities, telemarketing, and the list continues.) You can visit PEWAM at http://www.pewam.com.

Be forewarned, this place is about to undergo some serious revamping! I'll offer topics covered in this post, which will always be viewable first!

I look forward to spending more time covering everything that tickles your fancy in an organized manner!

Extreme Makeover: Update

noreply@blogger.com (Mysti) — Sat, 25 Aug 2007 15:01:00 +0000

I was blessed with the opportunity to travel out to the Extreme Makeover Site again yesterday. We (my son and I) were there during part of the filming for the "move that bus" segment. We had too much to accomplish before days end to stay until the final reveal after 5 pm yesterday.

I do have many pictures and even a video to share, but I will make you all sit waiting for a few more days as I'm gathering much information and quotes from individuals.

Update: Extreme Makeover: Home Edition

noreply@blogger.com (Mysti) — Wed, 22 Aug 2007 17:50:00 +0000

As promised, I did drive out to "Project 507", Cheyenne, WY Extreme Makeover site.

While I was there, I took a few pictures of the place.

So now that you've had your viewing pleasure, I'll give you the exciting news! I pulled around following the street and came back up. I parked along side of the road and got out of my car to speak with the security guard. I asked a few important questions, watched the workers go by, discussed a few key people in the company (all women by the way) and acquired some much needed information.

The grand reveal will be Friday and when I return later today or tomorrow to snap more pictures, I will be given the time window of the reveal so I can be present for the event!

There are more posts to come about the exciting events transpiring on Four Mile Road in Cheyenne, Wyoming. One of them being video of the explosion that took the original house down!

Extreme Makeover, Pictures

noreply@blogger.com (Mysti) — Wed, 22 Aug 2007 01:00:00 +0000

ABC's hit show, Extreme Makeover, is in Cheyenne! They have destroyed a house riddled with radon and are well under way of building an entirely new home in its place. The Miller family residing on the 20 acre lot, purchased the home with the intentions of creating an animal shelter. Due to the health issues from the radon exposure, their plans have yet to come to fruitation. Extreme Makeover star, Ty Pennington, did one up in designing the home for the Miller's. Not only did he design an enormous house to replace their moderate one, he has also designed a 1700 square foot area for the animals needing help.

I drove by the site, as close as possible before reaching security directing traffic away, and took a few pictures. I do not have a before image, unfortunately. Here are the pictures I took this evening.

View from the back.

You can see the top of the house over the design tents and trailers.

Distant View of the whole property. The new house is well under construction with two days left to build and get it together.
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Another view of the house, zoomed in.

Building constructed on the side for an animal sanctuary. That construction is complete on the outside.

I am going to attempt to drive by again tomorrow now that it will be easier to find. I will update with additional photos as they come available.

Mysti

ABC's Extreme Makeover: Home Edition

noreply@blogger.com (Mysti) — Tue, 21 Aug 2007 20:25:00 +0000

Cheyenne, Wyoming is the temporary home of Extreme Makeover Design Team Ty Pennington, Paige Hemmis, Paul DiMeo, Ed Sanders, Eduardo Xol, Michael Moloney, Preston Sharp, Tanya McQueen, Tracy Hutson, and John Littlefield.

The Miller's 20 acre lot of land was purchased in hopes of creating a sanctuary for animals, yet has posed a life threatening issue for all. Radon, an odorless radioactive gas, fills the home.

Carter Brothers Construction, of Cheyenne, was selected to provide the manpower for the project. Their website offers a few photos as well as some information about the Millers and why they were selected.

I will travel out to the general area tomorrow and try to capture a few pictures myself!

"Please bring it back."

noreply@blogger.com (Mysti) — Tue, 21 Aug 2007 15:43:00 +0000

As my son is playing with a train set that Santa delivered over Christmas, he began asking for his tracks that go with his trains. Those tracks, as I tried desperately to explain to him, were broken while I was playing with them and I threw them away. He quickly replied, "Please bring it back." I, again, tried to explain that I couldn't go get them. They went out to the big trash and went to the dump. He quirked, "Will you PLEASE get your sandals on and go get them. PLEASE!"

The conversation continued with his questioning of this item and that; all of which had been discarded to appropriate places.

Fortunately I have a bright three year old. Unfortunately he doesn't quite understand that once something leaves the house, it is not retrievable.

Fancy a Story or Two??

noreply@blogger.com (Mysti) — Mon, 20 Aug 2007 18:18:00 +0000

One of the forums I visit is geared towards parents. As I created my signature to be attached to all posts I make, I opted to do something a bit different. I created a story to follow suit with my introductory post on the forum.

I travel here from a Kingdom far away. I am the Mother-Queen to Mini-King Jaden. I spend my days home, yet busily proofing and editing copy for the grandest trade magazine tailored to Real Estate Agents and REALTORS®. When work fails to call my every moment, grand adventures fill the moments allowed. Father-King-In-The-Making; Rob, Mother-Queen; me, and Mini-King; Jaden, enjoy the opportunity to quest at near-by Castles inhabited by the Royal Family. The occasional outing to the grassy knolls adds a small amount of spice to our summer lives. With the season change fast approaching our royal lives, the chilling air will allow for castles of Ice to be built midst the warming light from above. A fire-pit enclosed in hard stone, shall offer warmth and many moments for this family of three.

Respectfully offered as introduction to the Royal Family,

Mother-Queen Mysti

My signature reads:

In a Kingdom far away, a castle was built with precision. The bright colors reflected the mind of the King, a very young king. He worked for hours to have the Castle just right, encompassing all he saw within his minds eye. Success was found and pictures were taken to remember the greatness that developed through hard work and perseverance.

And through this process, I have created a story for a dear friend, who's daughter is sure to be a princess and her son, a dragon.

Thunder crashed and lightning struck the ground. Princess Jenna, while startled, unsheathed her sword. She knew the dark forces were near. The bushes rustled behind her and she heard a loud breath. Spinning around she called for the beast to present itself. A young dragon, JT, emerged and offered his help to restore peace and tranquility to the kingdom. Leary to start, Princess Jenna's questions were soon put to rest when Dragon JT saved her life by breathing fire and crisping the group sent to attack. Their journey continues into the deep, dark forest where the evil Black Sorceress Caroness resides...

It's been great fun writing simple little stories to go with pictures of our children. A different approach to writing for fun!

The Spill

noreply@blogger.com (Mysti) — Sun, 19 Aug 2007 20:20:00 +0000

Upon awakening this morning, I ventured to the living room only to discover an entire glass of water was being soaked up with the magazine proof I need to finish by tomorrow. I've salvaged what was possible and will copy notes and edit marks from those that are readable, however about 1/4 of what I've worked so hard on must be redone.

Working from home has fantastic opportunities for parents, until the deadline is fast approaching and a spill is mopped up by a three-year-old with the project at hand.

Mind over Matter

noreply@blogger.com (Mysti) — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 12:47:00 +0000

It was a sweltering spring day in Texas. I was participating in the middle school track and field events. Running had been a strong suit for me and I was sure I would succeed and earn the blue ribbon, a prize I would cherish.

The events seemed to take forever to complete. I did fairly well on the long jump, sprinted ahead of the pack in the quarter mile and then I stood in line for the high jump. I was far from thrilled about this event and wanted to give up before it even started. One of the girls standing beside me, Kim, offered a bit of a challenge. She piqued my interest with the challenge.

Kim towered over me, standing about 5'10”; compared to my 5'5. She was a couple years older than I was. I questioned if I could compete against her, but since she challenged; I was going to go for it!

One by one, we all took turns, sprinting down the lane and jumping as high as we could over the bar that increased inch by inch. We started at a mere three feet. Kim and I kept egging one another on in a very lighthearted manner through our intervals of waiting. Before I knew it, I was having more fun in that competition than I had running - and I took the blue ribbon in that event!

I stopped listening to the coach as he told us the new height. I looked at the measurements at the start of each race and noted what I thought was the five foot, one inch mark. I knew I could clear that easily and made my sprinting start. I approached the bar and jumped with all my might, stretching out and over the bar; landing on the soft matting without so much as a clip of the bar.

Kim followed me and I watched as her body was so gracefully lifted off the ground and over the bar, just as I had done. The competition was limited in numbers by that point. No one else cleared the bar that round. I felt proud in that moment and then I heard the coach say he was increasing the bar by one inch.

I heard the announcement of “six foot” and thought it was quite a large jump increase from my last jump. I mentioned something to Kim and she smiled and took off sprinting down the track. I watched her clear the bar, but she tapping it. The bar wobbled, but stayed put. I knew clearing this height would be a challenge.

I took a deep breath and focused on the bar. I tried to envision it shorter than it was, but the height kept ringing in my mind. I took off sprinting and jumped with even more force than I had before. I began to rise and over the bar I went, taking it down with my foot dragging too low.

When I got off the mat, I asked the coach what height I had cleared. With a very surprised look on his face, he said it was five foot, eleven inches. My best height was six-inches taller than I!

I took second place in that competition. Many years later, I know that the greatest life lesson learned during that race was mind over matter. I cleared that bar at five-foot, eleven inches because I was sure it was only five-foot, one inch.

Looking at life now, I follow that same approach. There is nothing I can’t accomplish if I visualize my goals at an attainable level.

Creepy, Crawly and Not-So-Welcomed

noreply@blogger.com (Mysti) — Wed, 15 Aug 2007 19:02:00 +0000

As I jumped in the shower, my son kept running back into the bathroom to tell me that the UPS man was at the door. My son, in his wisdom of three-years-old, decided he would open the door and invite the said stranger into my home. Luckily, the driver opted not to take my son's inappropriate invitation.

As I quickly jumped out of the shower, praying my son did not open the door, I was greeted by one of those not-so-welcomed arachnids. After an unsuccessful attempt to squash the bugger, he darted and hid in the corner. A quick reach for a spray bottle of cleaner allowed me the opportunity to put an end to the threatening arachnid without damaging his freakishly large body.

I did a quick search on-line to ensure that the gruesome creature was not a hobo spider; of great concern as their venom is comparable to that of a brown recluse. In that search, I discovered this particular spider is neither of those, however, it's possibly the one who has caused much disruption to my legs in recent months.

Although I'm not an avid fan of taking out any of God's creatures, spiders have become my foe rather quickly this summer with countless bites occurring on my legs while sleeping. My home is now one spider less, and that, my dear readers, is a welcomed feeling.

Proofreader Anyone??

noreply@blogger.com (Mysti) — Tue, 14 Aug 2007 21:26:00 +0000

I am notorious for scanning the freelance ads for various companies on a couple different sites. Today I came across an ad for a national chain seeking a proofreader. In about twenty minutes, I tore their ad apart and sent it back to them for their review. I noted that I don't live in the general area in which they are seeking an employee, however, casually mentioned that I do work from home doing editing for BAN as well as freelance as projects come available.

I have to bring this forward, however. In the layout of their job ad, they have a table format listing experience required, pay, etc. The first issue standing out against a red background was "Experiance." Just for the record - Experiance is not spelled with an "A" it does contain an "E," as in E-X-P-E-R-I-E-N-C-E.

Thought of the day: Post nothing viewable to the public to scrutinize unless you undoubtedly know there are no serious issues.

Reflections

noreply@blogger.com (Mysti) — Sat, 11 Aug 2007 21:26:00 +0000

Life is an amazing experience. There are events that transpire every day. While some I can recall with great clarity, others seem to vanish midst my memory until someone or something comes along and brings that memory to surface once again.

A few nights ago, at work, I was standing in the well of the bar and a gentleman sitting next to my well struck up a conversation. I do not recall the first words that he said to me, but the discussion of my eye color (or colors more accurately stated) happened. He made a statement that caught me off guard, a reference to Angels and their presence in our lives.

It was that reference that brought with it a flash of memories from a few times in my life. I continued our conversation although I was distracted and unable to grasp what all he had stated at that point.

I went about my work and when I returned to that area of the bar, he was gone... only after leaving a message for me to email him, as he would like to continue our conversation.

The memories that surfaced in my life have played a huge part in my own spirituality and faith.

The first memory I remember is nearly drowning in a swimming pool. I was wearing a strawberry shortcake swimsuit and I took a step off the stairs and found myself immobilized. I felt so comfortable and warm in the water. I remember looking up towards the sky and all I could see was a while light. I did not want to move. I was perfectly content and not even concerned about breathing.

I remember rising out of the water by hands below me and forced out of the state of comfort and peace. I remember gasping for air. It was that moment of coming out of the water; the memories of discontent, discomfort and frustration began and continued throughout my life with the events that transpired thereafter.

It was many years later, just before Reiley, my first child, died that I can recall the second incident this conversation brought forward in my mind.

I was sitting in the chair at the computer; frustrated with the entire situation I was living. I could not deal with controlling actions by someone else and felt trapped in all the responsibility that weighed on my shoulders. I was on the verge of crying when I saw her.

From the corner of the vaulted ceiling, a woman, appearing to be in her 30's made her decent. She had soft curls around her round face, appearing to be very healthy and a bit heavy set. She was in a blue dress with a flowing bell shaped skirt. There was a ribbon in a slightly lighter shade of blue that wrapped around her waist that flattered her figure well. She stretched her hand out towards me and said everything would be okay and what was about to occur was part of my life plan. She assured me that I would be okay and to keep my faith. There was a plan for me.

The next few months were challenging to say the least. The years after those events proved to be even more difficult.

The third and final account this conversation brought to the surface of my mind was my suicide attempt in June 2001.

I remember all of the negative emotions and thoughts that surrounded all I was feeling. Even though I knew there would be a few people who would miss me, I still said my good-byes and intended to end my life - right then.

I began taking pills, by the handful. I opened Pepsi after Pepsi and consumed them as quickly as I could. I cried at how horrible my life was and how much I missed my son. I thought of the treatment I received by someone who said he loved me and those thoughts brought a sense of resolution in my actions, my choice.

It was hours later when I awoke. I remember the gray that surrounded me. The feelings of indecisiveness swirled inside. I remember feeling love at the same time. I remember seeing this angel during that time. Her dress was silver, with layers and layers of a rippled fabric. Some areas were of deeper and richer shades of silver while other areas accented and filled with light and brightness. The bodice reminded me of an old English style dress, similar to that of the Elizabethan Era. A white lace stretched outside of her beautiful gown just above her bust. I remember feeling mesmerized by the incredible beauty that radiated from her.

She spoke with me and offered her support through my staying and continuing my tasks in life. There were details that she spoke about almost in a way of convincing me that my time was not complete. She pointed me back to the couch where my body laid and in an instant, I awoke.

I picked up the phone and called my mom. I reached out to her in an attempt to find strength to do what was necessary. She convinced me to call the police and call her back. I did just that and stayed in the hospital for three days until I returned home.

I have had some amazing experiences in my life. It amazes me at how quickly they were thrown to the far reaches of my memory and yet, with a very simple conversation, those experiences were brought back to the surface with a great intensity. Life and reflections of those past occurrences allows an amazing moment to recharge and understand where I have been and how far I have traveled since.

"Just Hit Send"

noreply@blogger.com (Mysti) — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 18:12:00 +0000

There's a great little place on the web for those writing and even those wanting to get a jump into a writing career. Residing within the virtual walls of the forum, one can find hundreds of people with amazing knowledge of the writing world - from all aspects.

The freelance forum of AbsoluteWrite had a fantastic motivating thread for those branching out on their own to complete work for many sources. Magazines, companies, blogs and more are just part of the work some users do.

If you have a spare moment and want some extra support and encouragement to accomplish your writing goals, I'd definitely stop by and say hello! I'll be happy to offer all the support you could ever desire (when I'm not busily writing, that is.)