I’m a blogger. I’m a mom. But I don’t call myself a ‘Mommy Blogger’. Everyone has an opinion on this: there are some that take pride in the name, others who hide from it, some who just don’t care.

Why don’t I call myself one?

Because in the way that our misogynistic, paternalistic, sexist and capitalist society is wont to do (time and again) the Mommy Blogger moniker is weighted down with stereotype, scorn, mockery and devaluation. The image that comes to mind? Well…

• stay at home mom
• bored mom
• gossipy mom
• bitchy mom
• coupon mom
• Walmart, juice box, Wii Fit mom

And, some of the Mommy Bloggers are exactly that. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with it or them – but it doesn’t define many of us or what we do. The problem is that it is the only image that is being portrayed. In the last month, there have been five articles from major media outlets telling the same story (four of them were in the last week). It goes something like this:

“Colleen Padilla, a 33-year-old mother of two who lives in suburban Philadelphia, has reviewed nearly 1,500 products, including baby clothes, microwave dinners and the Nintendo Wii, on her popular Web site Classymommy.com. Her site attracts 60,000 unique visitors every month, and Ms. Padilla attracts something else: free items from companies eager to promote their products to her readers.” New York Times

This article, and the ones from CNET, AOL’s Daily Finance, Wall Street Journal and Newsweek then go on to discuss whether it’s okay or not that mothers who blog should be able to write sponsored posts, receive freebies, get paid by companies, etc. And the headlines are derogatory; Newsweek says: Trusted Mom or Sellout? If I cursed on this blog, I would be yelling, ‘Fuck you’ at Newsweek right now.

Putting the Mommy Bloggers into a box is bad enough, why do you have to kick them in the groin? Oh, and journalists, is it still great media if you’re the fifth person to tell the same story? It’s getting old and you’re missing the boat here. Attention: there is more to Mommy Bloggers than product pushing and diaper geenies.

Let’s talk about Mommy Bloggers finding creativity, financial independence, community. Let’s talk about the incredible exchange of knowledge between these mothers. Let’s talk about the Mommy Bloggers who talk about the law, business, health, science, sports, animals, non-profits, marketing, PR, religion and parenting. Let’s talk about the Mommy Bloggers who have been published, built empires, are household names. (Arianna Huffington anyone?)

Am I a Mommy Blogger? Hell yeah. I write about copywriting, business and marketing on this blog; social media on this blog; parenting on this blog…and just about everything else you can think of on Twitter – the ultimate megaphone. And I’m a Mom the whole time.

Let’s redefine the term. You can’t put Mommy Bloggers in a box. We’ll kick, talk and write our way out. We can change this, ‘Moms that Blog’, we really can. We’re good at creating change, banding together and having our voices heard. In fact, that’s exactly what we were all busy doing when they came and shoved us into a box.

As I sit stranded on a chair, the couch, in my office, I’ve been paying close attention to this. Within a span of a minute, I’ll have twenty ideas – things I could do – but then I can’t, I’m just stuck siting there. Or worse, I’m telling my family to do them…which they’re getting very sick of. They include: cleaning the bathrooms, culling through the fridge for old leftovers, cutting the dog’s nails, alphabetizing our bookshelves…you know, things like that.

At first I saw all of this as negative. I got fairly bummed out and I even cried. I tried to come to terms with the fact that there are some things that I just can not do.

Then I remembered that that was bullshit. I refuse to take no for an answer in most places in my life, so why was this different. And I come up with solutions to circumvent my handicap, like scooching on my butt to get to the ice cream, calling one of my neighbors to carry my lunch out to my office, enlisting the help of my children and dogs to bring me my crutches, practicing thumb-twiddling patience and dealing with a life full of nothing non-attachment and, yes, barking orders.

It’s not so different, you know, from what I do here at my computer all day. As I talk to clients and hear what they need, I determine what I can do for them and what I can’t. The ‘can’ts’ got solved by finding people in my sphere that ‘can.’ No problem is really insurmountable and the really good ones force your creativity. I find more strength when I embrace the fact that I’m never completely whole by myself – life and work are fuller when I invite others in.

And just like I’m always learning new writing and marketing skills and developing my craft – one day, I’m bound to walk again.

Image credit: hurley gurley

Platt’s answer to the dilemma was to tie a magical red bow around all of the copy you write. How did he define the red bow? Michael Stelzner (the white paper guy) left a comment that summed it up…”…it seems like you’re being a bit vague about what this ribbon is exactly here.”

Um, yeah.

So, how do you stand out, get the client and keep them? Good writing is critical - don’t fool yourself (…though we’ve all seen bad writing and someone wrote it and got paid for it, sooo…) I could write a post about tips for writing good copy – but often I think the secret to a successful copywriting business stands outside the bounds of what you can do with your keyboard. It’s not all about the writing…

• Be professional. Don’t whine, don’t make excuses – just do what you said you were going to do. If you make things harder for the client, you will be gone. Make working with you a delight.
• Deliver on time or early. If you’ve done any professional copywriting, then you know that clients are rarely on time. I’ve done rush website writing jobs in the last year that have yet to go live on the digital screen. Make sure that you aren’t the hold up, the client can feel free to take as long as they want. If it’s the designer that’s stalling things, don’t worry and realize that you now look even better.
• Create and/or adhere to fair contracts. Depending on the client, you’ll have the opportunity to be the producer of the project’s contract. Make sure that you promise things you can deliver – and then do it. Protect yourself with things like Project Creep clauses. If you feel good about the contract terms, you’ll feel better as you write the project and the deal will run smoothly. If you aren’t the contracts creator, request adjustments to make the contract fair – that’s your right.
• Over-deliver by giving referrals, sharing info, etc. If I see an article or opportunity that would benefit my client, I send it right over. If I hear that they need a designer, I offer mine. Mind you, this is part of my personality so I kind of can’t help it…and it’s a great way to offer value.
• Find the right mix of human. Do not, I repeat, Do NOT, under any circumstances respond to, ‘How are you?’ at the beginning of a business call with, “Well, my cat died so I’m pretty bummed out because I’ve had her since I was 14 and I can’t decide if I should get a new one or wait because we’re thinking about moving and I heard it’s hard to rent with a cat and we can’t afford to buy right now because my boyfriend lost his job and….” Keep it positive and don’t be a robot. Something like, “I’m great – the sun is finally shining after a week of rain! How are you?” Always ask back – be polite.
• Want and invite feedback. When I send a draft to a client, I include a message to the tune of, “I look forward to your feedback as always and look forward to making this website everything you hoped for…” And I totally mean it, every time. This is about the client – you are their tool, to be honest – your feelings and ego need to move aside. It’s not personal, it’s business. Act like it.

What did I forget brilliant readers ‘o mine? Weigh in, by all means…

Image credit: San Diego Shooter

Political correctness has a place, I know it does. But when I hear something incredibly honest come out of someone’s mouth – it just gets me. Of course I’m not talking about hateful, violent or bigoted talk – I mean, give it to me straight. Just say it. And sometimes there’s some shock value involved.

In the marketing world, it’s incredibly helpful – brutal honesty gets our attention and, oftentimes, it’s funny or it endears us to the product, person, company. Most importantly, this type of marketing message makes us want to repeat it to our friends.

Some of you know that I have a little, teeny, tiny flaw – I like to read celebrity gossip. I really can’t help it. And, sometimes, sometimes that habit gives me some primo tidbits.

Recently, for instance, actor Josh Duhamel hit it home. When asked what his favorite part of a woman was, he said:

“Personally, I like the ass.”

Straight and to the point…and some good marketing for his wife, Fergie, to boot(ie).

Image credit: judean peoples front

Which is when I realized that my thoughts made perfect sense. I grew up looking at a drawn, caricatured Cardinal because I’m from St. Louis. The majority of my childhood, until the football Cardinals were sold and moved to Arizona in 1988, was entrenched in Cardinal sports. My family is full of die-hard fans. St. Louis is one of the greatest sports-fan cities in the country.

I’ve been branded, people – by a brand. Those baseball and football Cardinals have been so firmly entrenched by TV, sports uniforms, t-shirts, hats, billboards, the Clydesdales, etc. that my addled brain actually thinks that’s what a Cardinal looks like. It’s in my blood, part of my DNA.

I realize this example is a sports team – but it has a logo, a song, horses. It’s selling seats and hot dogs and beer and hats and….The impact is so powerful because there’s real feeling and countless sensory experiences behind the brand: family, summer, hot nights, bright lights, the thwack of the ball in the catcher’s mitt, the crack of the ball off the bat, the taste of the nachos, the roar of the crowds – doesn’t matter whether we’re winning or losing, never has. And they’re called to life every time we see that bird – the logo or the real one.

Proof: I started crying just watching the Clydesdale videos…as I tried to pick one of the thousands that exist.

Are there brands in your life that have had this kind of powerful impact on your world? And how can you make your brand, or the brand that you’re writing about, that full?

If we take our cue from the Cardinals, then we realize that we have to give a total experience. It’s not just about a tagline or a cool package. It’s about interaction, conversation, the senses, the meaning, the life that happens around the product.

Image credit: Ian Turton

But overall, it’s one of those wild and crazy relationships that’s unpredictable, tantalizing, maddening and passionate all at the same time. I’ve gotta say…I like it. Every day is different and every day is new.

The Infatuation

I have an idea, a spark, an urgent need to write. I can’t stop, can’t eat, can’t think about anything else. I have insane amounts of energy, I glow, I’m skinny. I replay the moments of writing bliss over and over in my head. I can’t wait to get back to it. I think about writing and my laptop incessantly. Writing is all I want to do. I fantasize about seeing my name up in lights (i.e. on the New York Times bestseller list…) and it seems quite possible. Anything does.

The Other Woman, Pizza, Trail

There’s nothing that puts the zing back into things like a little jealousy. In this relationship, it goes something like this: I go for a walk – and my fingers get jealous of my feet. I eat – and my fingers get jealous of my stomach. I talk – and my fingers get jealous of my mouth. Sometimes you have to get away from the writing to want it again desperately, if even for a moment.

The Abuser

Sad, but true. I have been known to emotionally abuse myself within this writing relationship. ‘Shoulda, coulda, woulda’ (circa SATC) is usually the culprit. I shoulda proofread better. I coulda written that article so much faster. I woulda gotten that client if…. I’m not proud of all of this, but there it is: I’m my harshest critic. Who’s yours?

The Circle of Friends

What good is a relationship if you can’t sit around gabbing about it with your friends? Now, the worst thing in the world is to go on and on about your new lover to your single friends. Eventually, you’ll go to the bathroom and when you come back? They’ll be gone. My writing buddies are my go-to support, they’re my peeps. We all understand the insanity of this writing life – we applaud the good news, buoy each other up during the bad, spark new ideas and act as sounding boards. It’s important to walk outside of the relationship and get another point of view.

The Marriage

It’s hard work, but the commitment is solid and un-ending. I show up everyday without fail. Sometimes I fall into the same old routines of procrastination and boredom. Sometimes I get inspiration and windfalls. Most days, I don’t dress up, sometimes I don’t even shower – but everyone here in this writing marriage loves me anyway. There’s a deep comfort knowing that we’re in this for the long haul – no matter what happens, for better or for worse.

Image credit: toffer

One of those times, the conversation was with a brilliant photographer named Randi Baird. I was asking her about her process of documentation through pictures for a presentation she’s giving. I listened to her talk and wrote this from our exchange:

I marinate in the ideas before I photograph for an article; then, I illustrate the author’s words. Working with chefs, the ingredients become the colors, tools, shapes, textures within an image. Documenting a family, the ingredients are the personalities, the ages, the setting, the history. In each case, we all benefit from collaboration, communication, the strengths of our individual visions…and their fusion.

After she read it, she said, “You’re really good!” And I said, “No you are…you said it!!!” True, I wordsmithed it. But it was her energy, personality, intention, words and phrasing that served as the ingredients for writing the piece.

Here’s my process:

1. Meet with my client in person or on the phone for an hour or two and ask them tons of questions. Making it easy, natural, conversational.

2. Listen to them talk about themselves, their business, industry, goals, mission, philosophy.

3. Hear the words and phrasing that they use and the way that they talk – inflections, emphasis, accent, colloquialisms, industry-isms.

4. Marinate in all of this…especially their personality, energy, essence, je ne sais quoi…

5. Take notes, audio or video record – whatever it takes.

6. Find out what information needs to be relayed and to what audience. I like to do this oftentimes in the form of questions. And I ask the client directly for an answer – let them share their expertise.

7. I answer the questions, solve problems, inform and illustrate in the copy I create.

8. When writing as a ghostwriter / marketing writer, it’s like being an actor in a play – I become the character, channel their voice…and deliver.

What’s your process?

Image credit: Chotda

Yesterday, I went for an epic rollerblade. Eight miles, bright blue skies, forest all around me. And, ‘they’ (don’t know who they are, just know that I love them) had just come through to clear the path of debris – something they do on a monthly basis. So, I was cruisin’…to the point that I kind of stopped paying attention.

Around mile 4 I glided up a small hill and passed a guy walking – who just so happened to be beautiful – and I was busy being grateful for his smile and friendly ‘good morning’ when suddenly I realized that I had reached the top of the hill…and that it was the hill. The one with a treacherous and steep downhill on the other side.

I know this terrain well. My usual M.O. on this slope is to approach it at a snail’s pace, criss-cross in a horizontal fashion and get to its pine needle and dirt ‘gutter’ as soon as possible, where I then proceed to walk down the hill like the chicken that I am gracefully. But, alas, I wasn’t paying attention and I was going really fast. Really, really fast.

I had two choices:

1. Go for it. Engage my core, tuck down, watch the pavement for rocks and sticks…and fly down the hill.
2. Throw myself on the ground to immediately stop the madness.

I chose #2. In my defense, I did panic a little first. And then, I basically did my most unglamorous rendition of sliding into second base. I got a nasty raspberry with a side of road rash on my leg and a bruise on my tuchus, I gave myself tennis elbow somehow and this morning I woke up and felt like all of my bones were off-kilter – like someone hung my skeleton the wrong way on the hanger.

Anyway, I peeled myself off the pavement and started back to my car – lest you forget, I still had about 4 miles to go. This, not surprisingly, gave me plenty of time to over-analyze the hell out of my decision.

• Is this how I live my life?
• Am I so cynical that I assumed I was going down no matter what?
• Would I rather cause my own pain than let the world do it to me?
• Do I throw myself under the bus?
• Am I cutting myself off from opportunity?
• Do other people do this too?

And, of course, like the answer to all of my questions, there isn’t one. I’ve charged down ‘the hill’ at top speed more times than I can count – hair flying behind me and screaming, ‘WOOHOO!’ all the way down. But, like we’ve just seen, I’ve also hopped off the trail or taken my own dive, consequently not putting myself at risk – not only of failure, but also of wild success.

Sometimes flying down the hill gleans brilliant results, sometimes huge mistakes. Sometimes I can’t believe I dropped out and missed an opportunity, sometimes I praise my intuition and near escape.

There’s ’self-preservation’ and there’s ’self-sabotage’ – and there’s a marked difference and a place and time for each.  One of the secrets of life is being able to tell the difference. Can you?

Image credit: The Rocketeer

I had the honor of facing Boston traffic in the rain yesterday with the one and only Leslie Fishlock, President/CEO of Genevate and Founder/Brilliantess of Geek Girls.

Because we are both huge geeks, we talked a lot of shop – and Leslie said a fantastic thing about blogging:

“I read so many blogs that I don’t agree with – but I’m always attracted to an authentic voice.”

If we all want blogs to continue to inform and educate, like the good ones do, then embracing Leslie’s sentiment is critical. After all, how can you learn new things or grow as a person if you only read items that you agree with?

Disagreement, differing options…they make the world go ’round. But there are two sides to this dialogue.

1. The writer must be authentic, speaking from the heart. Their voice has to shine through and their reasons for their position must be clear.
2. The reader must have an open mind, a natural curiosity and the desire to listen, digest, expand.

When respectful people read contrary views and have the blog-given ability to comment on them, the magic happens. Views are opened, discussions occur, common ground may be found. And people find less and less of a reason to fight, blame or -simply- stick to their side of the fence.

I’ll admit that my M.O. isn’t always to read posts I disagree with either completely or with an open-mind. But now I can see that I was the one missing out. I wasted an opportunity to learn, educate and communicate. This post is a shout out to readers and bloggers (many are one in the same) – write with passion, realness and respect. Read and respond with the same.

Turns out we don’t have to agree to get along, we just have to be real.

Image credit: photographer pandora

This morning I was out rollerblading and I crossed paths with these two lovely ladies that I see out there from time to time. They’re probably about 65 and they’re on their bikes.

We were traveling in different directions and passed each other three times. At each pass, we had these mini-flyby conversations, like this one:

As we approached…

Lady 1: I love your little car!

Lady 2: What is it?

As we passed each other:

Me: Subaru.

Lady 2: The Impreza?

Me: Yep.

Over our shoulders:

Lady 1: Do you love it?

Me: Totally. Awesome car. And affordable.

Both Ladies: Thanks!

The world, as I see it, is currently divided into two camps: those that love Twitter and those that hate it. Which is why I love when I see ‘Twitter’ enacted in real life. ‘Cause them I can say, ‘You know what? Twitter isn’t so crazy…it happens all the time.”

Image credit gianmerizzi