Whatever you had planned with the next 14 or so minutes of your life needs to be tossed aside. Unless you’ve never watched an episode of Dragon Ball Z, that is, because  like, then you won’t understand anything and that wouldn’t be funny, now would it?

As a die-hard Dragon Ball Z nutcase I got such a kick out of this parody. It is SO well done, most of the acting voices are pretty spot-on (especially Vegeta’s!) and the dialogue is HILARIOUS. There are 39 episodes total, so you can start from the beginning if you wish, but I chose the above one to show you because I think it’s a pretty iconic episode a lot of people are familiar with.

ENJOY.

“I’m on the highway to HFIL…”

This won’t and shouldn’t come across as anything new in your life, but Max Brooks, author of World War Z, has said he expects the film and the novel to have the same title “and that’s it.” See, I told you it wouldn’t be any new information! We’ve all had a serious inkling this would be the case since watching the first trailer. But still it’s nice to have the confirmation from the author himself, so maybe we (the fans) can have closure, move past this little irritation and simply enjoy the film for what it is.

“I cannot guarantee that the movie will be the book that they love. And I’m in no position to tell people to see this movie or not see it. If I’m asked I say: See the movie as a movie and judge it as a movie.”

About a week ago Joblo reported on an interview Brooks gave at Mansfield University, where he dished information regarding the screenplay, the rewrites and his involvement. It’s a short and sweet read, and definitely worth a looksee if you’re into, you know, Max Brooks, zombies and World War Z.

Well…damn. Where does one even start?!

So, like, the Xbox One — which is the most confusing name ever — was announced, revealed, unveiled, (whatever) yesterday, and to say the majority of the internet has been ruthless would be nothing more than a big ol’ understatement. But should any of us be surprised? During my many years spent on the internet (I’ve been around the block ;D) I’ve discovered it’s typically the “cool” thing to hate on something, bash it, or to just say “TAKE IT AWAY!” and begone with it without personally researching  and coming up with one’s own, validated conclusions. (Y’know, the whole “Monkey see monkey do” syndrome but instead “Monkey sees monkey hating so monkey will hate too” syndrome. That’s an official diagnosis, right?)

For Alistair’s sake, people, the console was just announced, revealed, unveiled (whatever) yesterday! LET IT BREATHE.

Do I think Microsoft had an amazing, super-informative stellar conference? Absolutely not. I mean, Google “Xbox One” and within thirty seconds you’ll read articles on numerous loopholes, questions, misinformation and contradictions from executives regarding key features of the Xbox One (like the policy on used games, online requirement, etc.)  I get why people are upset. We have loose information floating around and no one knows WTF to do with it. That can be very frustrating, not only for consumers, but for the press. Frustrated press = frustrated consumers = INTERNET RAAAGE. But try to remember that we’ll receive answers to these questions soon. I mean, hell, it’s not like the Xbox One is going to launch without Microsoft directly addressing these issues. (At least I hope they wouldn’t do that. Eek.)

Another issue that’s been brought up again and again was the lack of game footage at the conference. Like some of you, I don’t give two craps about those “special features” Microsoft proceeded to talk about for twenty days and twenty nights. That being said, the purpose of the conference was to announce, reveal, unveil (whatever) a brand-spankin-new console and I feel like Microsoft did a, eh, decent job. As much as I would have liked to have seen Dragon Age III, a new Fable, perhaps some Halo and more than one new IP, I didn’t watch that conference with those expectations. I feel like that’s what E3 is for. And that’s just it. E3 is right around the corner, during which we’ll *hopefully* hear a buttload more about these things called “video games” ( which are why 95% of us care about the existence of the Xbox One).

But Microsoft has to be careful — they need to nail it with their software lineup or it ain’t gonna be pretty. Shit, if Microsoft concludes their E3 press conference and leaves us with nothing more than additional partnerships with, like, the NBA, MLB and some ZOMG AMAZING NEW MOVIE FEATURES AND SMARTGLASS AND TELEVISION AND SPORTS then I shall proceed to freak the fuck out and kick that shit to the curb. Then I’ll buy the console at launch because that’s what I do.

I should wrap this up by sayin’ I’m in no way a Microsoft fangirl (in fact, I’m not much of a fangirl of anything besides Dragon Age) so believe me when I say all of this is coming from an unbiased perspective. As I said above, we’re missing a good chunk of information. Maybe we can try to wait a bit before we go after Microsoft with pitchforks and torches? <3

If you still find yourself with bottled up anger and rage, check out this hilarious post on Kotaku. Actually, you should just check it out anyway. Funny stuff.

Y’know, I personally feel like “FTW” has, like, outgrown itself and should officially be retired as a thing that’s used on the internet, but it just felt so appropriate in the title, SO I WENT WITH MY FEELS AND USED IT, OKAY?!

Now, I love a good, creepy face as much as the next person (minus the IRL ones you find in horror movies, like Samara from The Ring, etc.) and it’s all the sweeter when that face is the result of some wonked-out video game glitch. Gameranx published a hilarious slideshow of 16 face glitches, and I suggest you check them out because, holy hell, they’re HILARIOUS. Below are some of my favorites:

That’s exactly what I look like while boating. Y’know, when the wind is blowing through your hair and you think you look all sexy and shit. Except you don’t, because you look like that ^.

BAHAHAHA. Oh dear God. LOL. Guys, he looks like an animal — kind of like the lovechild of a giraffe and ostrich.

This one is from The Sims, and honestly it doesn’t look like that much of a glitch to me. Hell, I see people on those tasteless reality television shows I love so much make that exact face every episode.

It’s either that or she just stuck her tampon in the wrong hole.

OH MY GOD IT’S SLENDER MAN’S WIFE.

Oh yes. This one is the granddaddy of them all! Nothing quite says “I have candy, get in my van!” like this Shepard face. Now I don’t think this is actually a glitch, but it should be because, damn. Dat face.

When was the last time you encountered a glitch like the ones above? I can’t remember the last time I found a face glitch, but I just came across a different glitch in Assassin’s Creed. Yeah, it was pretty cool — my arm was detached and floating around and stuff. Pretty rad.

Are you ready to stare at a black, fuzzy box-esque thing for 39 seconds?! I hope so, because that’s about all you’re going to get! (Unless you’re amazingly awesome and can piece together the final design of the PS4 with what we were just given.)

So yeah, Sony released the above teaser this morning and it’s safe to assume the release of this lil’ teaser has been  planned for some time since Microsoft is set to reveal ALL OF THE THINGS about the next-gen Xbox console tomorrow. Sony’s all, “Don’t you be taking our thunder!” and such.

I have to admit all of this console competition is making me hot and bothered and my pants a little tighter in the nether region. It’s fun to watch, especially as someone who’s going to be purchasing both consoles anyway. (There’s no use in denying it.) I personally don’t give two craps about the “special features” (ie; Netflix, ESPN, or whatever) so, like, all I want to see during the Microsoft reveal tomorrow (and during Sony’s conference at E3) are GAMES! Show me footage! Show me how prettyful you can make things now! SHOW ME POWAAAA!!!

Of course that will happen to an extent, but I expect to hear mostly fancy-pants stuff. “OUR CONSOLE CAN WIPE YOUR ASS FOR YOU WHILE PREPARING YOU DINNER!”

…That would be so amazing. Now THAT is a “special feature” I can get behind. If you know what I mean. Har-har. Ahem.

Below are some screens taken from the Super Mario World Miiverse.

Enjoy.

(via reddit)

First up, a mint-condition Game Boy.

Never mind that the screen is taped on by scotch tape — as soon as you see how pristine the back of this thing is, you’ll forget all about the shitty front.

Erm, right. About that. Sure, there isn’t a back or anything but that’s okay…I’m sure this thing fires up like a pistol.

…BAHAHAHAHA. Yeah right. This thing will probably blow up in my face if I try to boot it up. Moving on…

A *cough* COMPLETE  copy of Tekken!

Oh, yes. This was a STEAL! I saw discs of Tekken going for a whopping $1.50 on eBay, so you know I got a GREAT deal.

And finally — I found a SUPER RARE ULTRA game — A COPY OF HALO 2!!!

Hey, you never know when my other four Halo 2 discs will go tits-up.

Yeah. Be jealous. GROW GREEN WITH ENVY OVER MY BROKEN GAMEBOY AND ULTRA RARE GAMES!!!!111

BAHAHAHAHA! Oh, God, this is good.

You’ve seen my dad rage at Super Mario World, right? I have very, VERY fond memories of playing that line-’em-up game years and years ago with good ‘ol dad, and seeing as he isn’t the most, erm, talented gamer around, I remember he would always come up with all sorts of weird concoctions (like the star, mushroom and flower combo above). This never pleased father, and to this day I can still hear the obscenities he would shout: “YOU UGLY MOTHERFUCKER!” “WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT INBRED SHIT?” and “Well, I guess that’s kind of cute.”

Ah, yes. And some of you wonder where I get my nasty language from.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING TOMORROW MORNING?! Personally I’ll rising at the buttcrack of dawn to peruse garage sales, but if you happen to find yourself up and at ‘em around 7:00 am PST Nintendo is holding another one of their good ‘ol Nintendo Direct shindigs. According to the press release, the purpose of this ND is to provide updates on “Wii U and Nintendo 3DS games launching this summer.”

I’m telling all of you this because there is ALWAYS someone who, like, bitches at me for not reminding them about a ND (because that’s totally my job) and gets butthurt that I’m posting all of the news on Facebook/Twitter without them knowing ND is a thing that is happening. SO THIS IS ME COVERING MY ASS.

Expect to see the adorable Satoru Iwata (and if we’re lucky, Reggie Feels-On-Me!) discussing games such as Pikmin 3, The Wonderful 101, Rayman Legends, and *squee* maybe some unannounced titles! Oh, I’d love to see some more information about Fire Emblem X Shin Megami Tensei and whatever Monolith Soft is working on. However, when it comes to the 3DS I’m admittedly waaaay behind with that whole…situation…so I’ve got nothing. I JUST WANT MY POKEMANZ.

If the game of your dreams isn’t given an update — or announced for that matter — tomorrow, don’t fret! It looks like we’ll be getting another Nintendo Direct shortly before E3.

Greetings, and GUESS WHAT?! I’ve teamed up with 8Ball for a contest! This is great news for you because it means you — the awesome, amazing and studly person reading this — has the chance to win a free t-shirt from their “Geek T-Shirt” collection!

It’s SO very simple to enter. All you need to do is peruse their two-page collection of geeky t-shirts and tell me (in the comments below) which t-shirt you would choose should you be chosen the lucky winner!

See, it’s so simple a paramecium could do it.

Good luck! The contest ends this Friday.

Video Games: The Movie hopes to be a thing that exists in the future, and after seeing the above trailer you best believe I backed that shit up so hard. Now, if you’re unaware what “backing” means (y’know, in case you’ve been under a rock or something…I kid, I kid. I still love you) it means I have put some of my hard earned money (read: money I earned while sitting on my ass and playing around on Twitter) towards the cause.

After all, the film has already been, well, filmed, and the Kickstarter funds are needed to get them “over the finish line”. If you take a look at the folks they’ve interviewed (Nolan Bushnell, Randy Pitchford, Cliffy B, etc.) it’s hard to say this thing isn’t legit.

Anyway, this is just my public service announcement announcing the Kickstarter. If you have a few extra bucks lying around, perhaps you’ll consider donating it to the cause?

Video Games: The Movie’s Kickstarter Page

(And plus, if this thing gets funded I’ll be making a fan cameo during the closing credits. You know I’ll make a complete and utter idiot out of myself, so there’s that to look forward to!)