It is quiet in my house right now, which is something I cherish as it doesn't happen all that often! I realized the other day that my posting here on my blog have been shallow...which is not really like me. I am the one who writes too much and tells it all here, and well lately it has all been locked up in my head, and I like the sounds of my fingers pounding the keyboard once again.
Life has been very different lately. I quit my day job about two months ago and it took me that long to realize, this is my "Life" now. I felt as tho I was on an extended vacation, like I was on maternity leave again, and it took me that long to get a rhythm going, to not rush around trying to get everything done with the fear that I have to go back to work in a short time....I have....years to catch up on the things I haven't done. I have the time now, to sit and teach my littlest how to wink at me. I have more minutes then I know what to do with to play Lego's with my oldest and watch him grow to be so big and mature.
My littlest turned a year old on April 14th, and as I sit here typing tears well up in my eyes, because I feel like I missed so much of him being an infant, as I was working two jobs and trying my hardest to keep it together so I could reach my goal of being a stay at home momma.
I call this little one "My Monster" I know it sounds mean in a way, but honestly I say it with the most fondest tone possible. When I was pregnant with him, I wondered how in the world I could love another being as much as I did my oldest. I questioned my ability to love. Boy was I silly, this little one has stolen my heart....he looks like his daddy, with his large brown eyes that catch the light of the morning so perfectly, with his soft light brown hair and this smile that could light up a room....he has filled a space in my heart that was a little empty, that needed some stuffing so to speak.
This little punk has a fierce temper. When he is done with something he throws it....when he is frustrated he screams at the top of his lungs...when his brother is bothering him too much he runs to me for safety....this little monster just learned how to sleep through the night....he kept his daddy and I in limbo every night for a year. He throws a fit when one of his toys isn't cooperating....and I know we all say it, but this boy is smart. He watches his brother every minute he can, and copies just about everything he does....he walks the house looking for something he can mess up...and he loves to get mommy's things...all of her things!
{see playing with mommy's favorite vintage truck!}
This little monster is quirky, when he walks he moves his body side to side with a little extra drama...when he laughs his little teeth show, his dimples frame his mouth...and his round cheeks can't get any bigger...when he wants to snuggle he finds that perfect notch in my neck and lays his head there and we sing songs together. When he wants to go outside he wanders over with his shoes and plops himself at my feet waiting for me to help him....when he is ready to go night-night he walks over to where I keep his bottles and helps me put them all together before his little grubby hands latch on with a mean grip to that bottle...oh how he loves his bottles {yes I know that will be a challenge in the future to get him to sleep without one of those}...and when he is upset, he has this different cry, a cry that melts my heart....he is "My Monster" with little ears that stick out which he rubs when he is tired. {yea that pretty much melts my heart too!}
I don't know what I did in this world to get these two special boys to take care of day in and day out. God must think I am a pretty good person to trust me with keeping them and lovin' on them and caring for them....I just hope I am making him proud! These boys make me who I am. They complete me...I can chase my dreams, I can strive to do amazing things, and I can keep trying to be who I think "I should be", but in the end when I close my eyes, after putting these beautiful boys to bed....I know in my heart they are all that matters....they are the reason I am who I am, and I think my heart is finally all stuffed up!
{My littlest punk with his "buddy"}
Happy Monday y'all!
Blessings,
p.s. For the Summer every Monday, I am going to choose something from my shoppe and reduce the price just for that day! I will post the item and the photo on Facebook,so if you feel like plaing along come and join us! You can find me on Facebook under "blondiensc"!