Blood & Mud

RBS 6 Nations Match Previews in 140 characters or less

2012-02-11T02:50:42+00:00

Twitter is worth more than Jonny Wilkinson's 2002 aura these days, so let's have a go at previewing the weekend's action within their arbitrary limits. Have a try yourselves in the comments.

Italy vs England - Scrumfest, maladroit passing, tense finish involving place kicks and reduced hyperbole and optimism.

Fra vs Ire - Fra dominate scrum, parity in lineout, Fofana shows up D'Arcy, France win due to Ire shocking record in Paris + being better

Wales vs Scotland - Wales win because they are playing Scotland at home.

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Dan Parks' lower half retires from International rugby

2012-02-07T18:40:55+00:00

The SRU have officially announced the retirement with immediate effect of Dan Parks' feet from international rugby.

In a statement, the out-half said, "Since my hands retired quite some time ago, I felt that my feet have done a reasonable job and could've gone on a bit longer, but after the charge-down try against England it's clear that my feet can no longer play international rugby either."

Cardiff Blues fans will no doubt be happy that he will now be devoting all of his time and abilities to their cause.

SHIT/GOOD™ Ratings: RBS 6 Nations, round one

2012-02-06T22:17:03+00:00

Our stab at who's worth your time and who's worth a kicking after the weekend. Don't forget to add your nominations in the comments, or I'll send

SHIT

Phil Dowson - After wanting him in a white shirt for so long, it hurts a great deal to have him in this section, but it cannot be denied that he was poor and outplayed by a child (see below). Ben Morgan will likely start against Italy.

Scotland line-breakers - If any one of them would have made a single decision that was the correct side of "why the fuck did you do that?" then Scotland would have run out very comfortable winners.

Sean O'Brien - He justifies his 7 shirt thus; lack of fetching skills offset by carrying the ball like an angry rhinocerous who's just received a tax bill. He's maintaining the former but failing in the latter.

Ben Youngs - All at sea at the minute, and while this blog still believes that he still has an enormous future, he needs to be left out for a bit to get some form and confidence back.

GOOD

Mouritz Botha - It was a weekend when people with comical hair impressed greatly, and the erstwhile Saffer was among the best of them. Carried and hit hard, and will cause some selection headaches when Lawes is fit again. Could England select both?

George North - Let's just remind ourselves again that this lad is 19. His basics are fantastic, when he carries the ball he is fearsome - as Fergus McFadden and Rob Kearney will testify, and that offload for the second Davies try showed a sublime level of skill and composure. NINETEEN!

Warren Gatland - Completely took the wind out of Sonia McLoughlin's journalistic sails by replying "yes" when asked if Bradley Davies should have had a red card. Honestly like this from coaches is what every sport needs.

Luke McLean - On a day when Italy's pack did the decent job we all expect, the beardy winger was the only back to really show any kind of adventure or flair.

Louis Picamoles - If you're going to drop big Imanol, you'd best make sure whoever comes in is bloody good. He was.

David Denton - Has civil servant's name and looks like an extra from Fast Times At Ridgemont High, but my word he can play, eh?

Conor Murray - Ireland's young scrum-half was lively all game.

Rugby Video: Top 6 Nations tries from each team

2012-02-03T22:00:55+00:00

Stuart Barnes might be a large ball of pompous gas these days, but check out his skills in the England try!

Which is your favourite? Hard to see past Phil Bennett, what a player that man was.

RBS 6 Nations Preview: Scotland

2012-02-02T09:41:13+00:00

by Richard O'Hagan

It is difficult to know where to start with the Scots. It is very tempting to hark back to the World Cup and the battling performance against England, to treat that as some kind of sign that Scottish rugby is on the rise, and to predict great things from them for this tournament. However, would mean that we had to ignore the following factors, and we just can't do that to you:

1. England were rubbish in the World Cup and should have been easy meat for that Scottish side;
2. 'Just losing' to England doesn't mean that Scottish rugby is on the rise, it means that it has been dragged down to England's level;
3. Dan Parks;
4. The three best players, on current form, in the Scotland XXII for Saturday are all second rows, which means that only two of them are going to be on the pitch at any one time;
5. Nick de Luca;
6. Joe Ansbro, the one Scottish back to know that you are supposed to go over the gain line, not along it, is injured;
7. Dan Parks;
8. Whatever has happened to Euan Murray?
9. It's just really hard to like Andy Robinson;
10. Dan Parks.

In short, it is looking better for the Scots, but it isn't looking that much better and to make matters worse the fact that the level of expectation on them is higher than it has been for the last few years might just make the coming six weeks a lot tougher than they were expecting.

Prediction: 5th

Best Named Player: Alastair Strokosch. Seriously, has there ever been a more onomatopoeicaly named player? 'Strokosch' is almost exactly the sound of a loose forward being flattened two yards behind the gain line.

We All Want to See: Joe Ansbro fit again, and Euan Murray back to his best.

RBS 6 Nations Preview: France

2012-02-01T23:14:35+00:00

Look at him! How could anyone not select him?

"Ding Dong the witch is dead! The insane witch is dead!" So sang the munchkins of France when Marc Lievremont shuffled out of the door, probably muttering something about no-one understanding the nature of his special genius.

In his stead the FFR have gone for the Anti-Lievremont - the sensible Phillipe Saint-Andre. However, for all his challenging team selections, Mad Marc managed to climb out of his bag of monkeys long enough to win a Grand Slam and reach a World Cup Final , which despite a team on the verge of Bountyesque mutiny, and a biased ref, lost it by only a single point.

The sensible thinking is that if Lievremont could achieve that, then imagine what someone as normal as Saint-Andre could do? But, his first team selection has left out our rugby-crush Morgan Parra, therefore this blog is arbritrarily declaring him to be clueless.

Despite this gratuitous Parra snub, France should still win this. Their forwards look powerful and canny, and also feature the incredible Dusautoir and Bonnaire; uncapped Wesley Fofana in the centre is exciting and surrounded by an ocean of experience that should cushion his class into this level. And, perhaps most significantly, inexplicable hairball Yoann Huget has been flirted out.

Prediction: 1st

Best Named Player: Imanol Harinordoquy - did you really expect anyone else?

We All Want To See: Wesley Fofana. And Morgan Parra, obviously.

RBS 6 Nations Preview: Ireland

2012-02-01T22:30:34+00:00

"Mr Meehan wants the money today, otherwise I'll have to hurt ye"

When you look at it, Ireland have arguably the best first fifteen in Europe. Their scrum, for so long a greater source of amusement than Andy Powell, has sorted itself out; notwithstanding the question marks over O'Brien as a genuine seven, the back-row is a match for anyone; they have a choice of half-backs who are all either decent or excellent, even Ronan O'Gara; and the backline has finishers, hitters and runners even without the injured BOD.

Added to this, their domestic teams are carving a mighty harp-shaped swathe throught the Heineken Cup with three in the quarter-finals, compared to one team each from England and Wales. So far so optimistic for the championship, eh?

But, cast your mind back to the not too distant past. In 2011 Leinster won the Heineken Cup; the top three teams in the Celtic League were Irish and the grand final was contested by Leinster and Munster. Yet, leaving aside the victory over Australia in the RWC group stages, this domestic and European dominance did not translate to success in national colours. Throughout the summer Ireland were stunted and bullied and in the RWC they were generally frustrating before being shamed by Wales. Why should it be different now?

Given their personnel this must be a mental problem, and we will see if Kidney had found the right inspiration amongst his blarney-laced patter for his team to realise the sum of its parts. We think they'll fall short unfortunately, but only just.

Prediction: 2nd

Best Named Player: Leo Cullen - even if you didn't know what he looked like, that name sounds like a 1930s Chicago gangster boss's most trusted muscle.

We All Want A Look At: Andrew Trimble. For so long a peripheral figure, can he translate his magical Ulster form to the green shir?

RBS 6 Nations Preview: Wales

2012-02-01T11:24:17+00:00

What a difference twelve months makes. The Autumn Internationals of 2010 and the 2011 Six Nations were leading many to wonder what had gone wrong with Wales and also to quietly raise questions about Warren Gatland’s leadership. Then two things happened; Sam Warburton was given his head at openside and Rhys Priestland was slotted in at 10. The rest, as they say, is World Cup apple cart upsetting history, and the team in red now find themselves in the strange position of everyone expecting them to tonk everyone in Europe.

It was never going to be that simple, and the perennial pre-tournament Wales Injury Issues™ have rendered this even more unlikely. Wales have so far lost or very much look like losing – deep breath - Gethin Jenkins, Priestland, the quietly impressive Dan Lydiate (insert obligatory reference to Richard Hill), The Lock Formerly Known as Luke Charteris, Alun-Wyn Jones, and Jamie Roberts. Add this to the loss of a certain little left winger to retirement and it adds up to not so much a void in personnel as a black hole.

Priestland in particular is a huge loss, mainly as Jamie Roberts is a player transformed when the little Scarlet plays inside him. Stephen Jones, for all his experience, looks a tad lost these days.

Given that half the first team could well be missing for some or all of the tournament, the good domestic form of Ireland’s players, and France no longer being managed by an extra from One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest, this could be a severe test of Wales’s resurgence. One which I think they will fall short in, I’m afraid.

Prediction: 3rd

Best Named Player: Justin Tipuric – sounds like one of those hedge fund managers that get wheeled out on the news to justify why they keep driving up the cost of food and fuel.

We All Want A Look At: Whoever plays in the 11 shirt. Alex Cuthbert is rumoured to be getting the nod, creating a wing pairing with George North who are both of Gog descent and have a combined height of 27 feet 7 inches. Oh, and Gavin Henson, who is lurking in the background like a curiously orange spectre.

Squad

Forwards - C Mitchell (Exeter Chiefs), Adam Jones (Ospreys), R Bevington (Ospreys), G Jenkins (Cardiff Blues), P James (Ospreys), R Gill (Saracens), Rhodri Jones (Scarlets), M Rees (Scarlets), H Bennett (Ospreys), K Owens (Scarlets), B Davies (Cardiff Blues), I Evans (Ospreys), L Reed (Scarlets), Ryan Jones (Ospreys), D Lydiate (Newport Gwent Dragons), S Warburton (Cardiff Blues, capt), J Tipuric (Ospreys), T Faletau (Newport Gwent Dragons), A Powell (Sale Sharks).

Backs - M Phillips (Bayonne), L Williams (Cardiff Blues), R Webb (Ospreys), R Priestland (Scarlets), J Hook (Perpignan), J Roberts (Cardiff Blues), J Davies (Scarlets), S Williams (Scarlets), G Henson (Cardiff Blues), A Beck (Ospreys), G North (Scarlets), L Halfpenny (Cardiff Blues), A Cuthbert (Cardiff Blues), H Robinson (Cardiff Blues), L Williams (Scarlets), L Byrne (Clermont Auvergne).

RBS 6 Nations Preview: Italy

2012-01-31T21:35:34+00:00

Nick Mallett's gone, Jacques Brunel is in, yet despite this change Italy's problems are all too familiar: a very good front five, the best No 8 in the world, with some passable outside backs rendered utterly pointless by a half back pairing as useful a pair of sunglasses on a bloke with no ears.

Last year saw the historic defeat of France at the Stadio Flaminio and home ties this time around to the transitional England and never reliable Scotland could maybe see them spring another win, but it aint looking good. The wooden spoon beckons as per.

Prediction: 6th

Best Named Player: Giovanbattista Venditti - Where do you begin with that one? Other than changing your name to it immediately, obviously.

We All Want A Look At: Luciano Orquera (pictured), to see if he can be as bad as last year. Surely it's not possible? And Sergio Parrisse, simply because he's lovely to look at.

RBS 6 Nations Preview: England

2012-01-31T21:05:14+00:00

Hodgson no doubt missing the sticks as per, hopes are high that giving kicking duties to Owen Farrell will sort the Sarries man's head and SHITness out.

After a World Cup so bad that most fans wish they could unsee it, it's all change for England prior to the start of this Six Nations. A new coaching team, a squad full of fresh faces, a new training base in the north for spurious north=tougher reasons, and a new approach.

Head coach Stuart Lancaster has been in the media talking about getting the structures and performances right and then "the points will take care of themselves" which is music to this blog's ears. However, a loss to Scotland and anything other than a win in Rome may soon have him rethinking that if the press, fans and RFU upper echelon start to twitch and bitch. Hopefully this either won't be a problem, or if it does happen he'll have the backbone to ride it out. Here's hoping.

New captain Chris Robshaw is good news, mainly as it means he'll actually be playing, something that should have happened quite some time ago, and it's the performance of the forwards around him, particularly at the breakdown, which must see the greatest improvement. Beyond that anything in the backs that shows some creativity and doesn't involve Matt Banahan will be pleasing. Pleasing in way akin to coming up from the basement after a hurricane and seeing your house is half standing, granted, but still enough to perk you up a bit.

Good results will be welcome, but most fans if they have a brain will want to see more dynamism to start and signs that something can be built upon in the years to come.

Prediction: 4th

Best Named Player: Toby Flood - sounds like a peripheral character from This Life.

We All Want A Look At: Owen Farrell, he's young, but he's three years older than his dad when he made his international debut and he didn't do too bad. And Charlie Hodgson, can he possibly not be be SHIT in an international shirt any more?

Squad

FORWARDS: Mouritz Botha (Saracens), Calum Clark (Northampton), Dan Cole (Leicester), Alex Corbisiero (London Irish), Tom Croft (Leicester), Louis Deacon (Leicester), Phil Dowson (Northampton), Dylan Hartley (Northampton), Courtney Lawes (Northampton), Joe Marler (Harlequins), Lee Mears (Bath), Ben Morgan (Scarlets), Tom Palmer (Stade Francais), Chris Robshaw (Harlequins), Matt Stevens (Saracens), Rob Webber (Wasps), David Wilson (Bath), Tom Wood (Northampton)

BACKS: Chris Ashton (Northampton), Brad Barritt (Saracens), Mike Brown (Harlequins), Lee Dickson (Northampton), Owen Farrell (Saracens), Toby Flood (Leicester), Ben Foden (Northampton), Charlie Hodgson (Saracens), Charlie Sharples (Gloucester), Joe Simpson (Wasps), David Strettle (Saracens), Manu Tuilagi (Leicester), Jordan Turner-Hall (Harlequins), Ben Youngs (Leicester).