His latest purchase amuses me. Logan, seeing what his brother was doing, bought one as well.

They got them in the mail on Wednesday and have worn them since. And yeah, I am the mom who lets her kids wear kids halloween costumes when it isn’t Halloween.

I think its cute.

We made ninja stars out of cardboard and gold paint – three paper cuts so far LOL

Here is Blake,still wearing it (but for the mask) while watching TV. I have no idea how they wore them yesterday. It was blasting hot in the house, and yet they ran around covered head to toe in black! Nasty!

I told him to tell K he would have to call back, becuase I wanted answers.

“would there be girls there? who was all going to be there? Were the parents going to be there? What time would you be home? No leaving the house after dark, right?” and so on.

So parker gets back on the phone and asks k all the questions then tells me that the Party will consist of parker, K and another very close friend, D (boy), that they should come between 3-5 in the afternoon on Satuday and would be spending the night.

…. Correct me if I am wrong, but isn’t that a sleepover? Is it uncool now for 10 and 11 year olds to call a sleepover a sleepover?

Difficult enough to deal with his smelly disgusting pits and figuring out what the best acne treatments are, now I have to try and make sense of kid-to-teen speak?

TOO MUCH!

I resign this motherhood thing!

(he has had a hair cut since this was taken LOL, don’t judge!)

After the guys finally figured out the proper angles for the crown molding to go up, and my father in law left, Micah figured that since we had every thing moved, he might as well get up and tighten the ceiling fan becuase it had been swaying quite a bit AND you could see the separation between roof and fan, which isn’t good LOL

I got water ready so I could wash off the blades, might as well, right, how often can I get up there to do it. But Micah had other ideas, he wanted me to hold the stupid fan while he did the screwing. Maybe *I* am the idiot cus I said yes. I had NO FUCKING CLUE how heavy fans were! OMG, bitch needs some hydroxycut ASAP.

Oh! and not only that! but when Micah took the fan off to tighten the screw he found out that A: the people who put it up did not put in ALL the screws, one was missing AND, worst of all, there is a safety chain thing, it hooks to the part of the fan that is set into the ceiling so that if the fan falls off because an idiot forget s the screws, the chain will grab it.

OMFG.

So now my shoulders are burning, and I have a headache from twisting my neck the wrong way, but dammit all the fan is back up, tight and in place, with no more wobble.

Now we need to go tighten Logan’s ceiling fan, as well as the one in our bedroom.

*sob*

(Don’t forget to check out Socks N Paws!)

The very first thing I did when I read that was open up every one of my blogs, sure that I had been hacked in some way and one of my precious websites had been stolen.

But no, each of my blogs was as I had left them last night.

So why would this person think I had sold my blog?

Then the light bulb clicked on. I have been adding links in my posts. Links to things that interest ME. Links to things that I find neat interesting or informative.

Take for example, me linking to alli weight loss. I am over weight by about 20-25 pounds. Therefore, I do spend a lot of time looking up various ways to lose weight online, and its NATURAL for me to post a link to something I have found.

EVERY SINGLE WORD ON MY BLOGS BELONG TO ME. Every story and opinion I have ever written is MINE and mine alone.

Now, the reason I am writing this as a blog post, instead of emailing my questioner, is becuase if ONE person had the balls to ask me that – and it does take balls to ask a question like that, it ALSO takes a fair amount of confidence in an online friendship that the person wont get upset you asked, so I kinda felt special she did ask – AHNYWAY. If one person had the balls to ask, others may be wondering the same.

Is Bluepaintred different than it was before I “closed shop”? YES.
Was I serious when i closed the doors on this blog? YES.
I meant to let it run its course till the domain expired, copy the posts and comments to a free wordpress blog just to save it, and not renew the domain at all.

But. Then my world fell the fuck apart. My sister died and suddenly I was grasping at whatever the fuck I could reach to keep my head above the fire. And like old times, I came to running to BPR.

I will never, EVER be the same person as I was before my sister left me. EVER EVER.

As a result, bluepaintred has become more like Paint! and Where Was I?. A safe haven to spew words on a page just so i can look at them. And If I add a link to a post? it means I have been there. Sometimes it means I want you to go there becuase it is neat. Sometimes i am linking it just so that in a few weeks or months, when I want the link again, I have it.

So no. I did not sell out.

Bluepaintred is me. All me. A changed me, for sure, but ME.

It doesn’t hurt as much when I remember why I can’t call her, but the pain is still pretty dominant when it comes. it’s not something I can simply brush off or ignore.

I did not forget Monday’s date, or it’s importance, I’ve been occupied with worry over my step mother. her dad is dying, and it is obvious that she is super upset about it but trying to be strong. I’ve never met her father, my pain is in knowing what it is like to lose a parent. I’m not sure how to help her in this, so I am just doing my best to be there for her.

How often does a person worry? A normal, well balanced person i mean? Do most people in their early thirty’s look at ads for wrinkle creams with interest? Do I worry too much? I know that just in the past four days, three different people have told me on some variation or the otehr that i worry too much.

I understand that I am a glass half empty person, and that being a pessimist is rather normal, but maybe I do worry too much? I tend to worry about things both big and small, and a lot of the things I worry about are things that I have no control over, like my stepmother and how she is dealing with the imminent loss of her dad, but still I can’t stop worrying.

is there a point where I have to stop and say this is too much and see professional help, OR, am i just nitpicking and looking for more things to worry about just so that i have a ready supply of things to dwell on?

In fact, today (July 4) Marks the one year anniversary of my father’s heart attacks!

Very sadly, we did not step up to the plate as a family and begin spending quality time together after hes very close call.

So, my back is sunburned, I am more tired than I have been in a damn sight, but we did it. we all got our schedules aligned and we went out, together as a family, and spent time together.

Other than my sunburn, the only thing that marred the trip was the drunk idiots. Both nights, the idiots drunk and pissing on the road, lit up with pendant lights and tossing beer bottles like paper airplanes, kept the entire campground awake until the wee wee hours of the morning. I’m talking 5 am here, people.

Anyway. I’m off to bed, a very early night indeed!

I’m going to try to quit smoking again.

I considered trying the patch, but I couldn’t find coupons available in Canada for them.

I love coupons online.

Take a href=”http://www.ebillme.com/shop/”>buy.com coupons for example. I can say “Hey, I need an external hard drive (and boy do i ever need one), log on, and chances are, I’m gonna find a coupon for what i am looking for.

Ive also found that when shopping online if I take the time to contact the store and ask if there are promo codes available, they will send me one.

Coupons save money, plain and simple.

But, like I said, I couldn’t find the patch coupons for Canadian usage, so i am going to try champix again. it worked well the first time, I was shocked at the total lack of cravings I had with it!

Wish me luck, Yo.

But today, I wanted to be pretty, and also, I have some of my sister’s jewelry now, and i wanted to feel close to her. None of it has any certified diamonds, but its all very pretty.

I feel especially good about wearing her daughters pride ring. She got it when she was 16 and it is the piece she had the longest. It has her birthstone, august, as well as my parents, may, so it is very green, and green is not my favorite color by far, but all the same, I feel good wearing it.

I touch it often

I didn’t ask him if he was gonna be OK, this being the first fathers day without Sheri, I figured it might not be any of my business, plus, if he wasn’t OK, I was unsure how I would deal with the news.

We went through the last of my sisters belongings. Mostly clothing, 90% of which is to be donated to a woman’s shelter or the thrift store, a few toys, and her jewelry.

In this last load of belongings was her big fluffy red housecoat that Micah and I bought her for Christmas. I kept that for myself. Right now, it is way too hot to wear it, but I like to imagine myself in it next winter, all fuzzy and warm, like a big hug from her.

The boys made Micah little knickknacks at school, a coffee mug, a board game and a personalized Frisbee, and I got him an interactive drums tee shirt from Think Geek. We spent the day doing *almost* dickshitall, I made some banana loaves – the mini kind, for camping, and Micah set up the tent in the backyard and let the sprinkler “rain” on it so we could test it’s waterproofness.

It was an OK kinda day.

One more week of school and my boys are home with me full time. I am looking forward to it more than I can possibly explain.