Beer and Sport

Merv, it's time to go

2008-10-17T10:48:00.003+11:00

I loved Merv the cricketer, his ability to involve a crowd unsurpassed, always happy to like a teammates ear, and the guts to bowl all week up hill into the wind.

I enjoyed giving shit to Merv the tour guide, when he walked past my seats at the Lords in 2005 I drunkedly ranted off in my best Billy Birmingham cum Bill Lawry accent "Merv, Merv, Merv, He's a hero this man, I love him, I wanna boof him, Hail the great man, Hail"

I was bemused by Merv the radio co-commentator of Sir Henry Blowfield, surely the oddest couple ever put together, yet I listened to this bizzare socialogical experiment and even derived some enjoyment from Merv sledging Blowers.

Now I'm loathing Merv the selector. He keeps picking bloody Victorians, and this time there's not only a better New South Welsh player who actually has a CA central contract, there's even a better Queenslander, one who didn't make the tour, and he also has a central contract, and can bat.

If only there was some way to evaluate the bowling options in Indian conditions on recent form. The easy way would be to look at the Australia A tour to India a few weeks ago, you remember the one run for the purpose of developing and evaluating talent for the upcomming test series.

There was only one innings in which Australia bowled, returning the figures:

Doug Bollinger: 21 overs, 4/59
Peter Siddle: 15 overs, 1/27
Ashley Noffke: 19.4 overs, 1/67

Now to keep it in perspective, I should mention that Siddle's sole wicket was the number 10. Douggie got the Indian 1, 6, 8 and 9.

Despite looking 35, he is only 27. The old-young man has even secured advanced hair sponsorship so no longer looks like a ballbag, and has something in common with Rick(y). Doug Bollinger should be collecting his baggy green cap today, and Peter Siddle should be collocting a refreshing beverage for Doug, I'd say an Indian Pale Ale but perhaps in this case a glass of Bollinger would be more appropriate.

The wrath of Khan

2008-10-17T10:11:00.003+11:00

It's not often I read about a new sledge, but in a story today is a pearler from an as yet unnamed Australian player from the 2003 world cup final.

To set the scene, we're at the final of the cricket World Cup in Joburg. Zaheer Khan as the Indian spearhead has taken the Aussie players on in a verbal battle, sledging anyone who'd listen all match. With the Indian captain pulling his opening bowler after 7 overs with figures of 0/67 (9.6 rpo) and having part timers bowl out the remainder of his allottment, you'd have to say it backfired.

The as yet unnamed Australian player is most likely Gilly, Hayden, Ponting or Martyn, as they're the only ones who got a bat on our way to 2/359 that day! The sledge:

"Well, Zed, there'll be some houses burnt down in India tonight and the way you've bowled, yours could be the first."

ICC Rankings Analysis

2008-10-16T14:12:00.007+11:00

With the news that Nathan Bracken and Michael Hussey have risen to the top of ICC Rankings for best ODI Bowler and Test Batsman respectively, I thought I'd take a look at the ICC Rankings for cricket for an objective view on the World's dominant Test and ODI Batsmen, Bowlers and Teams.

Test Cricket

Team
Top Test Team: Australia
Gap from field: 19%

Batting
No 1: Mike Hussey
Dominant nation: Australia with 1, 4 (Ponting) and 9 (Hayden) are the only nation with 3 batsmen in the Top 10

Bowling
No 1: that mother chucker
Dominant Nation: Australia, Sri Lanka are close

Aus have 2 (Clark) and 4 (Lee) ; aggregate ranking points: 1646

SL have 2 (Murali) and 7 (Vaas) ; aggregate ranking points: 1579
Curiously, Shane Bond is ranked 9th and hasn't played in 11 months!!

One Day Cricket

Team
Top ODI Team: Australia
Gap from field: 11%

Batting
No 1: MS Dhoni
Dominant Nation: Australia with 2 (Hussey), 4 (Ponting), 9 (Symonds) and 10 (Hayden) are the only nation with 4 batsmen in the Top 10

Bowling
No 1: Nathan Bracken
Dominant nation in Top 10: Australia, New Zealand are close

Aus have 1 (Bracken), 3 (Johnson), 10 (Lee) ; aggregate points: 2119

NZ have 2 (Vettori), 4 (Mills) and 9 (Oram) ; aggregate points: 2094

Well there you have it, the baggy greens are ranked number 1 by a considerable margin in Test and One Day cricket, and have the best performing players in each discipline. No wonder we hold the Ashes, World Cup, Border/Gavaskar Trophy, Chappell/Hadlee Trophy and the ICC Champions Trophy

Chris Rogers in it for the cash

2008-10-16T12:08:00.005+11:00

Sheffield Shield coverage at Beer and Sport will be postponed until the commencement of the NSW Bluetongues' campaign.

So onto more distracting issues, like John Rogers. John is a simple man, and like many of his generation has strong values of honesty, integrity, and dignity. John believes in one club for life. This was made somewhat easier for John as he wasn't very good and only played 4 first class matches, but true to his ethics they were all for his beloved New South Wales.

It pains John to recall the tale of his son Chris , who holds the rare blemish as the only Australian ever to hit a double century against Australia. It was Chris Rogers demorilising of Lee, Gillespie, Kasprowicz and Macgill that started the 2005 rot that led into a ODI loss to Bangladesh and concluded with the poms in an open topped bus.

The anguish that poor John suffers when regailing the career of his foreyed ranga slut of a son Chris is unbearable. Here is a one club for life man who's son has so far graced the rosters of Derbyshire, Leicestershire, Northamptonshire, Shropshire, Western Australia, Victoria, and Australia.

In April Chris walked out on his contract with Western Australia, a curious move considering he'd just cracked the national setup, and one must ask as to the motivation for this move. The official line from camp Rogers was his frustration at being ommited from WA's One Day squad. He had offers from Queensland, South Australia and Victoria, and to understand where Chris Rogers' priorities lay, the benefits of playing each state have to be examined.

Queensland would have been a disaster for Rogers. His gingah hair and fair complexion would have been no match for the harsh Gabba sun.

South Australia on paper offered the best package. It was rumoured he'd get the captaincy, they are completely and utterly shithouse in the batting department so he'd be worshipped by all 7 SACA members, plus the Adelaide Zoo offers free entry to Rangas, themselves an endagered species according to Zoos SA's director of conservation programs Kevin Evans.

Finally there was Victoria, and this could prove to be the final nail in his loyal fathers coffin, a man who's life has been spent fostering a hatred of those damn mexicans with mobiles.

The plusses would be playing in the countries second best state side, not having to face Dirk Nannes, and inclusion in the shortened format of the game. But when it came time to talk turkey, none of these things mattered.

Chris is 31 years old, mostly blind, and wholly red haired. Peroxide and laser eye surgery are not cheap so he'd gone to the Mexicans, and here is why: Victoria are playing in the world T20 club championship. This is in India. The IPL is in India. $$$$$$$$$$$

A few observations from the 1st Test

2008-10-14T12:12:00.002+11:00

Why don't they put the lights on when it's getting dark in India like is done in Australia and England? Is this something they only do when India are playing for a win?

Cameron White (31 overs, 1/88, 2.8 rpo) bowled much better than expected. He has a similar style of leg spin to Anil Kumble (51 overs, 0/160, 3.2 rpo) in that he doens't turn it much and relies more on bounce. He was bowling to players who are regarded as better players of spin, and that 1 wicket should be noted was a well set Sachin Tendulkar, albeit mid hissy fit about the light. As Mark Waugh said, Sachin middled it so can't really blame the light for his shot.

Simon Katich was a good choice as opener. In India we need a Dravid style anchor who isn't too fussed with the business of scoring runs so much as not getting out. Sure it's un-australian, that's why we had to get a West Aussie in to fill the role.

Good to see that Rick(y)'s got his mojo back, scoring 100 in India and an attacking declaration albeit pushed by the weather. Does he realise that, as captain, the camera spends an innordinate amount of time on him? This makes it harder to get away with picking your nose, or spitting into your hands then rubbing the golly around. Why doesn't he wear a helmet when fielding at silly mid off? Sure it's hot and the Baggy Green is an icon, but is there not a safety aspect to this as well? Maybe, just maybe he's taken some inspiration from Vivian Richards and bats without a helmet too. That'd be cool.

The day of the Bear

2008-10-13T15:14:00.004+11:00

Today will be the making of Cameron White as a cricketer. 40 runs off 20 balls and 4 wickets will define his career in the baggy green cap.

The batting situation is tailor made for him, just belt the crap out of it and there's nothing to lose.

And a few wickets on the 5th day turner will complete the box set. Then I might forgive him for stuffing my first innings bet of Australia making 450.

Prince Sourav mis-quoted

2008-10-13T11:21:00.006+11:00

Not content with being an ordinary batsman and terrible fielder, the man described by his own website as " Philosopher Prince" has come out and said some bad things about his teammates, you know, the same guys he's spent the past decade in the trenches with.

I have played badly in only one series (in Sri Lanka)," the Aajkal interview said. "Yet every Tom, Dick and Harry is playing in the team. There are players who haven't scored in the last three series for India, even for the last one year. There are some who have changed their hairstyle more than they have scored for India.

I am really struggling to understand the motivaton for Sourav's comments. Perhaps it's a cultural difference that I'm struggling to understand. In Australia, the value of mateship is regarded very highly. We expect our players to respect their team mates to the detriment of all others. Often they'll take a seige mentality against the press, refusing interviews and avoiding questions that would require a negative answer about a collegue. We're fine with this and in truth would rather be lied to than hear them rat out a mate.

A good example is when Warney allegedly was picked up on stump mic saying that Scott Muller "can't bowl, can't throw", we were quite happy with the explanation that it was in fact Joe the cameraman who made the remarks. This was scandalous at the time and still is 8 years later, yet still has nothing on what Sourav sprouts from his princely orifice.

Gangers has since come out and denied the comments, personally I'm hoping this goes down as well as Michael Vaughan's denial of using the word Fredalo in a Guardian interview, where they categorically backed their journalist to the point of publishing an mp3 of the interview on their website. Oops.

Then again perhaps Sourav is just a d'ick. After all, the guy couldn't even read out his own denial!

"The reports of an interview from a Bengali daily published in other newspapers are false," Ganguly's statement, read out in the press box by an Indian team official, said. "I have not given such an interview to anyone. I request you to clarify with me before publishing views from other sources."

Aus v India ; Sessions 1 - 4

2008-10-10T17:31:00.003+11:00

What has really impressed me with Australia's batting performance in this test has been our ability to not let a setback kill our focus.

Hayden was out on the 3rd ball of the day, and you could not have written a better start for the Indians. Sure it was a dodgy decision by Rauf, and a lesser team would have fired up the learjet to fly home, but not Katich and Ponting, who got stuck in and for a 166 run partnership which swayed the match back to Australia's favour.

Katich eventually fell to a lapse in concentration and India were back with a sniff, yet the Aussies regrouped immediately, denying the Indians a collapse. The 60 run partnership between Hussey and Ponting gave the BaggyGreens control of the first day. Punter was lucky to get away with a half-volley caught and bowled, however swings and roundabouts had him given lbw 10 runs later to one that hit him outside off, while he was playing a sweep shot, and would have struggled to hit a 5th leg stump.

Time for another partnership, and Michael Clarke was the next to step up and looked good against the spinners before falling to a peach from Khan with the that got some sideways movement off the pitch, ending the days play.

With his experience opening in ODI's and T20, Watson was the obvious choice to face the 8 ball old rock with Hussey on day 2. Unfortunately it didn't play out that way with Sharma bowling him early in the piece, bringing Haddin to the crease. A very watchful innings by Haddin has seen off the new ball and taken Australia through to lunch.

Ishant has been the pick of the Indian bowlers, which re-affirms my suspicion that Stuart Clark will be a real handful on this pitch. Believe it or not they are both the same height, Clark just has some meat on his frame and as such doesn't look like a praying mantis.

Australia added just 74 in the session, though it must be said that for a team bowling spin from both ends to only get through 28 overs is truly appalling. It's not like they were constantly chasing the ball or anything!

Beer and Sport the Domain

2008-10-10T11:01:00.001+11:00

As part of the ongoing Birthday celebrations at Beer and Sport, I've treated myself to a few presents.

Firstly there's the shiny new domain: www.beerandsport.net . If you get a chance please update your links ;)

Next, I put together a banner for the site which showcases many of my personal sporting heroes, in carefully selected shots that show them in a manner that I like to remember.

Richie Benaud for me is a commentating hero, and while he did a lot with the bat and ball in the 50's, for me he's a hero as a commentator. Darryl Hair makes an appearance as I've always respected his integrity and stuborness as great qualities for an umpire to possess. There's even a Queenslander in John Eales, and a great NSW Rugby Player Chris Latham who unfortunately spent much of his career in exile.

Roy and HG are a huge influence and just had to make an appearence on the banner of fame.

And thanks to Warney and his 3 foot inflateable googly, according to Gagger, I "might have the only sports blog with a famous sportsmans erection on it?". What a claim to fame that is!

Haydo's plays and misses

2008-10-09T19:31:00.005+11:00

Here's the footage of Hayden's dismissal.

Pretty piss-poor officiating by Rauf, Bucknor would never have given this one...

Betting on the cricket

2008-10-09T19:18:00.001+11:00

I stuck a few wagers on the series, if Katto can get 100 then I'm looking good to have covered my bets...

My hopes in the first two bets were extinguished at around the 3rd ball, needless to say I'm not happy Haydos!

Hayden vs Tendulkar: £5 @ 1:1
Australia's opening partnership > India's £4 @ 2:1

Still looking good for these two however

Katich to score 100 in the first innings: £5 @ 4:1
Australia 1st Innings 450+: £5 @ 2:1

Then there's the series bets

Australia win series 2-1: £2 @ 8.6:1
Australia win series: £15 @ 3.1:1

A good start for the Bastard Monkeys, not so good for Australia

2008-10-09T15:08:00.006+11:00

The Bastard Monkey's opening bowler Zaheer Khan got a wicket in his first over.

So Matthew Hayden is gone third ball. From the Cricinfo commentary

Not sure as to whether it is bat or pad. There was a noise. The ball hit the upright seam and shaved away. Looks like the ball passed the outside edge as the bat brushed pad. Very hard for the umpire to distinguish.

Should we warm up the learjet and go home? Or at least threaten to, otherwise they wont take us seriously. Still, one for the Fantasy Team already.. here's to Katto getting 100. We could be seeing Harbajahn sooner than expected..

I'll be posting comments throughout the days play over at Cricket-Blog.com

The Bastard Monkeys

2008-10-09T13:06:00.004+11:00

I've joined JRod's Fantasy Cricket League, should be a bit of a laugh. Here's the steps to choosing a Fantasy Cricket Team

Step 1 - Pick a name

I thought Bastard Monkeys would nicely capture the spirit in which I hope for this series to be played. Unfortunately CricInfo had other ideas, advising me that "Your team name seems to contain objectionable words. Please modify your team name in order to proceed". Seems you can't say Monkey even in your fantasies.

Step 2 - Identify the team lists.

This is a hell of a lot harder than you might imagine. Even the Cricinfo Scorecard shows 15 players in each team, and kickoff is 2 or 3 hours away. It's fair to say there's some guesswork involved here.

Step 3 - Identify NSW Representation

We all know that the best cricketers come from New South Wales, so it makes sense to fit as many of them as possible into any Fantasy. Thus my fantasy team has:

MJ Clarke

SM Katich

SR Clark

B Lee

BJ Haddin

Step 4 - Conform to Comp Restrictions

This comp requires a mix of Aus/Ind players. Fortunately there's only 5 from NSW in the likely Aussie squad so I haven't broken any rules yet. The good folks at cricinfo generated some random numbers for the salary caps as they appear to completely ignore form and ability. Taking this into account, the remainder of my squad is:

VVS Laxman

M Kaif

SR Tendulkar

SR Watson

Z Khan

I Sharma

Step 5 - Annoint a captain

Obviously he would have to hail from NSW, Michael Clarke is my choice due to his hot missus all round record against India.

Beer and Sport Re-Birth

2008-10-08T10:50:00.005+11:00

With a decent cricket series about to start I thought it time to re-visit the Beer and Sport blog.

I've taken on the long overdue task of updating the B&S Blogroll, actually choosing to be a part of the blogging community by exchanging links and stuff! If I've missed you please post in the comments and if your blog isn't completely shite I'll throw you a link.

As many of the B&S readers are interested in either Cricket or Rugby but not both, I've set up individual feeds for these two main topics of discussion. So now you can either subscribe to all of Beer and Sport (highly recommended), just the Cricket, or just the Rugby.

Lastly, Blogger have finally made available a way to export and import blogs and comments (you have to log into Blogger Draft wtf!), so this also marks the end of the oxenshizer as no-one could remember this obscure reference to a card game a mate and I played in a german beer hall one night - trying to translate bullshit into Deutcsh we found oxen to mean cow with balls. Anyways, all those posts and comments have now been migrated so I'll turn off the old blog now.

The future? Well hopefully I'll make some semi-regular posts. I've had some recent technology upgrades at home so it's quite likely I'll be packaging some video highlights from the upcoming test series for your pleasure.

Keep fighting the good fight and if you see one, Kick a Vic. And always leave a comment in the blog!

Australia in India preview

2008-10-02T13:02:00.004+10:00

I recall last last year how CA was pushing this as the most hectic 12 months in International touring history. That couldn't have been farther from the truth, due in part to Pakistan's terrorists inconsiderately using the wrong kind of bombs and the Aussie players preferring to play in the IPL for massive wads of cash.

Fortunately the Indian terrorists are cricket tragics, and only use the kind of bombs that permit Aussies to tour, presumably ones laden with rupees.

India have been granted their choice of umpires with Steve Bucknor and Mark Benson being dropped from the tour for a few bad calls in Sydney resulting in the biggest sub-continental hissy fit since Arjuna called for a runner.

Now we're stuck with Damien Martyn's favourite official Aleem bloody Dar who will be doing his best to forget the lbw law, again.

Australia's preperation has ordinary at best. Fortunately the players who were ~~rested~~ injured for the Bangers top end tribute have all recovered in time, and some fool stuck a microphone in front of Hayden who is "seeking the runs".

The great white elephant Nice Bryce McGain has been sent home for spending too much time on his facebook page leaving Jason Krejza with the spinning duties. Here's hoping the young lad from Newtown can improve on his 43 first-class wickets at 45.46 from 23 matches. Fortunately Michael Clarke has a phenomonal record against and in India with the ball, if his back can hold up we'll be hoping for another 6/9.

Our 2 day tour match with a near full strength batting lineup was a complete shambles. Surely we'll lift from that effort.

Rick(y)'s been speculating that Anil might refuse his catching agreement! Who would have thought, just cause Ponting claims catches that bounce and Clarke didn't walk, lets have a gentlemans agreement on catches.

Regardless, the Border/Gavaskar trophy is at stake and 2 test wins will ensure we keep the trophy. If we lose then maybe we get to choose the umpires next time.

Bangers Mashed

2008-09-03T14:51:00.005+10:00

Bangers have been well and truley mashed in the Top End Tour. Despite the Baggygreens "resting" Ponting, Lee, Symonds and Hayden, it would be difficult to find a more one sided result.

The first match consisted of Australia batting first so we were at least guaranteed 50 overs of batting. Conditions were trying in tropical Darwin, which must have "helped" the visiting team, however this merely restricted Australia to 254 on a pitch that gave assistance to the bowlers.

It really was an ordinary ODI, with IPL star Sean Marsh's 76 (105) and King Probot Mike Hussey's 85 (123) guiding the Aussies to a respectable 254.

In response the Bangladeshis were systematically probed until any sign of weakness was pounced on, unable to put together any partnerships and eventually capitulating 180 runs behind after just 27.4 overs.

The highlight of the match was Mike Hussey pleading with Cameron White to not hit any more three's as he was buggered. Guess his old body's just not suited to the humidity.

Which brings us to game 2 of 3 in Darwin. Bangladesh again won the toss, and remembering Saturday's disaster decided to have a shot at batting this time round. To their credit they do pass the 74 runs that were scored in the first match, and even managed a partnership of 38 so at least their improving.

Alas the Aussie bowling was too disciplined and only a late hiting spree from Ghosh and 18 extras got them past the 100 mark.

Due to Bangers being bowled out after 36.1 overs they had a 10 minute break and then got straight back in to it... Australia were cruising along after 9 overs at almost 6rpo needing a further 72 when for some bloody stupid reason they went off for a 40 minute lunch break, presumably to appease Channel 9's Hi-5 commitments.

Watson went out lbw trying sweeping a ball on middle, and Clarke managed to get stumped while attempting to wrap up the series in the Powerplay overs... this at least gave the visitors something to smile about.

This however bought King Probot to the crease and he had no such ideas of heroism, prefering to prod and push 8 singles as we eased towards the modest target.

Eventually SOS Marsh ended the torture with 2 6 4, finishing as Man of the Match for his 69 (81). SOS has probably opened well enough to put some pressure on the absent queensland fisherman who plays a bit of cricket, unless he retires...

Michael Clarke keeps his 100% victory record as Australian Captain, and yes, I did write this entire blog for the sole purpose of using my "Bangers Mashed" pun, have been holding onto that one since last year ;)

The Great English Cheat

2008-08-28T15:53:00.001+10:00

It seems someone in the United Nations Cricket Team camp made the grave mistake of allowing Marcus Stresscothick a pen and paper in his padded room, out of which has come the revelation that his cheating resulted in the reverse swing that ultimately bagged England the 2005 Ashes.

It comes as no surprise to most people that the Poms (and Welsh) are nations of cheats, and I thougth I'd share a few of their other dirty secrets.

1945 - World War 2 - British RADAR stations detected Luftwaffe raids before they'd even arrived, allowing Spitfires to be deployed and meet the threat.

1966 - Soccer World Cup - George Best was running on performance enhancing kidney's

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been a long while between drinks here

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1990s - Rowing - Steve Redgrave affixed a small electric propulsion system to his Cox

2003 - Rugby World Cup - Johnny Wilkonson wore specially designed shoes that inject the ball with Helium at the point of impact thus reducing it's 'weight' and increasing it's flight distance by up to 28%.

2005 - Ashes - Trescothick as the team polisher used mints to sweeten his saliva and ensure extra shine on the ball. This resulted in reverse swing for the English and Welsh bowlers as early as the 16th over.

2007 - Rugby World Cup - Andy Sherridan carried a can of mace that he kept squirting into Matt Dunning's eyes during scrums which made it almost impossible for The Dunning to hold up his side of the scrum.

2008 - Olympics - Convinced three of their neighbours to compete in their team, and then take all the glory themselves. You don't see the West Indies combining in order to try and 'beat' their former colonies, but the Scots, Welsh and Northern Irish are apparently happy to compete under the Great Britain flag. Time to play Braveheart on ITV again..

Bad Captains all round

2008-07-14T10:27:00.000+10:00

I wish I'd posted this on Thursday night, cause now it just appears a lame attempt to cash in on hindsight, but believe me when Greame Smith won the toss I said to my wife "he's gotta bat".

So.. "I think we'll have a bowl, looks like there's a bit in this one for the pacemen" comes out Smith. "YOU FREAKING MORON" I yell at the telly, to little reaction from the head South African fatman. Vaughan 1, Smith 0.

Then they hand the mike to Vaughan who thinks he's got the rough end of the toss, and implies that he also wanted to have a bowl. Gamemanship perhaps, or was he also swayed by the lack of low lying cloud and the pretty much picture perfect batting conditions? Vaughan 1, Smith 1

So, an opening stand of 114 followed by Vaughan leaving a straight one and it's on for KP and ding-dong to put on 286 for the 4th wicket. Yep, think this might have been a good wicket to have a bat on.

South Africa all out for 247 in 93.3 overs, adding insult to injury is KP taking the last wicket with his part time Off-Spinners that weren't good enough to hold down a regular number 8 spot in the Natal Dolphins, you know, cause he's white.

So.. Vaughan makes his second mistake and enforces the follow on. Sure you've got them out cheaply, but after 93.3 overs your pacemen must be feeling it. Why not let the quicks hit the beauty sallons and update their myspace profiles while you bat yourself into form? Vaughan 1, Smith 2

But not Vaughan, clearly having spent the last day in the field and reading one of Steve Waugh's tour diaries between sessions. He's going for mental disintegration and the flavour of choice is INNINGS VICTORY.

So, he thinks his quicks have enough left in the tank to bowl out the Proteas again, despite having toiled for 63 overs between the 3 of them in the last day.

Then after eating Frogs Legs in the innings break Vaughan opens with the ultimate surrender tactic, he gives the new ball to Monty and KP! Sure Monty got 4 wickets in the first innings, including McKenzie, so you could perhaps argue some merit in giving him a go early on (say 6th over if nothing's happening for the quicks), but to waste the new ball with two spinners on a mundane pitch? Please. Vaughan 1, Smith 3

Come the 14th over of the day and it's time for Sidebottom to get a shot. Sure the ball's a bit soft now and the shine is worn, and he's tired, and the batsmen are set, but at least he's getting a bowl. No real suprise the breakthrough doesn't come until the second new ball.

This test will most likely end in a draw, but it'll be South Africa who take the momentum out of it. and their much vaunted pace attack will want to get some more practice in with the Duke before the second test commences.

Victorian sues CA for sore shoulder

2008-07-03T13:49:00.004+10:00

Jamie Siddons is suing Cricket Australia because his shoulder hurts.

What's next? Boony suing VB for sclerosis? Warney suing Nokia for RSI? Bryce McGain suing Cricket with Balls for distorting his Google results?

Perhaps Jamie should take up an American coaching gig when his Bangladesh role expires.

Beau's less beige than Warney

2008-06-19T13:14:00.009+10:00

There's talk around the traps that Beau's first test was Beige and ed no where near a test match spinner.

I thought I'd see how he compares to other champion Australian spinners, after one test. Of course it's a pretty crappy comparison as it takes no account of the wicket, days they bowled, or quality of opposition.. nevertheless here are the great leggies on an arbitrary colour scale.

White Hot
Clarrie Grimmett 1925
31.3 overs, 5 maidens, 11/82
Average: 7.45
Economy: 2.6 rpo
Strike Rate: 22.8

Red
Jack Iverson 1950
13 overs, 3 maidens, 4/43
Average: 10.75
Economy: 3.3
Strike Rate: 26

Orange
Doug Ring 1948
41 overs, 9 maidens, 6/120
Average: 20
Economy: 2.9 rpo
Strike Rate: 54.6

Cream
Richie Benaud 1952
4.3 overs, 0 maidens, 1/14
Average: 14
Economy: 3.2 rpo
Strike Rate: 14

Bone
Stuart Macgill 1998
36 overs, 8 maidens, 5/134
Average: 26.8
Economy: 3.72 rpo
Strike Rate: 43.2

Off-White
Bill O'Reilly 1932
81.4 overs, 23 maidens, 4/155
Average: 38.75
Economy: 1.9 rpo
Strike Rate: 122.5

White
Beau Casson 2008
32 overs, 4 maidens, 3/129
Average: 43
Economy: 4.03 rpo
Strike Rate: 64

Ivory
Terry Jenner 1970
28.6 overs, 7 maidens, 2/95
Average: 47.5
Economy: 3.3
Strike Rate: 115

Beige
Shane Warne 1992
45 overs, 7 maidens, 1/150
Average: 150
Economy: 3.33 rpo
Strike Rate: 27

Transparent
Kerry O'Keefe 1970
50 overs, 14 maidens, 0/116
Average: -
Economy: 2.32
Strike Rate: -

Gayle reads backwards wicket perfectly

2008-06-16T14:52:00.004+10:00

It seems that Shivnarine Chanderpaul is having a pretty ordinary series now that he's been laden with the prestigeous Lord Megachief of Gold title, averaging a mere 209 against the World's top ranked Test team.

A real blip then that his side is 1-0 down going into the final day of a fairly low scoring series, though they've got the chance to even it up tonight.

He's returned scores of 118, 11, 107*, 77*, 79* and 27* thus far. Now Shiv's not out and playing for an improbable victory, hoping to steer to Windies to a further 240 on day 5 to take the honours.

Gayle has again proven to be cool mother-f'ucking cat in reading this pitch - he didn't put Australia in cause he wanted to bowl first, oh no that'd be far too easy for Gayle. He put Australia in so that the Windies could bat last.

Yep, he knew all along that this wicket would reverse over the course of the match, yielding scores of 251, 216, 439 and 475.

Festival of IPL HATE part 1

2008-04-15T19:18:00.004+10:00

That's right all you Mohali Meat-Eaters fans out there, the first grudge match of the IPL is on Friday when the brave and noble Meat-Eaters take on those bastards at the Chenai Chuckers.

In recognition of this remarkable ocasion, the authorities at Meat-Eating Headquarters have agreed for Beer and Sport to officially release their new logo, in recognition of the fact that their one was as pants as their original name.

Remarkably this age old rivalry has been so hotly contested over the centuries that the ledger is even, which means the winner of Friday's game will take an unasailable lead that can't be overturned for several weeks... unless it's a tie and the bowl-off is also drawn. Or it rains.

Anyway, Mohali Meat-Eaters v Chenai Chuckers. I might even watch this one.

Memories of Bradman Oval

2008-04-15T13:54:00.003+10:00

It's not every day that Cricket = Action = Art puts up an image that reminds me of happy times, but today he has done exactly that.

I was born in Bowral and spent my first 6 years there. We used to live in Shepherd Street, 3 doors up from the Don's former residence though he'd left for Adelaide many years before.

Such a picturesque oval, I still remember watching my Dad play for Bowral as a batsman out there. There's a bunch of stuff for the kids to play on round the corner including an old steam train. Tidy.

Things wrong with Melbourne part #1

2008-04-11T13:46:00.002+10:00

I've always maintained that Melbourne is a sh1thole, and here's one more reason.

The greatest bowler of all time has to give right of way to a freaking tram. Seriously, get your priorities right. When Warney comes to Sydney he gets a police escort so needn't worry about stopping for traffic lights, trams, trains, busses or even pedestrians.

One day I'm going to circumnavigate Australia while taking a clear path around Melbourne. That'd be sweeeet.

Have India outsourced Curation?

2008-04-11T13:15:00.002+10:00

WTF is going on in India recently? The pitch for the first test was your typical sub-continental road which provided the desired result - sh1tloads of runs.

But it was all a bit hollow when the Seth Efrikaans could also bat, and the match petered out into a boring draw. Surely this wasn't the same India who only lost 2-1 to Australia so recently?

Remembering their Perth glory they then went and built a very un-Indian pitch that suited pace and seam. Then in a brain fart Anil decided to have a bat and they were bundled out for 76 by a very on fire Dale Steyne. Oops. Maybe we suck at pace bowling again.

According to the script they'd have their groundsman prepare a traditional Indian pitch that takes lots of spin for the third test, yet from the pitch reports they've gone and built a minefield.

Underprepared, dry, and cracking already, there is no telling what this pitch might do. Let alone spin, it might make any bowling dangerous to face. The ball might dart around, bounce unevenly, spin alarmingly; no-one really knows.

Stay tuned as India take on the evil empire in Episode III, Revenge of the Singh.