In the Daily Mirror, Rory is worth ONE BILLION DOLLARS. Get in!!

But wait! Just inches away the Irish Mirror puts the value of the big win at just ONE BILLION EUROS. Er. Not to worry Rors, you’re still trading in Dr Evil ransom figures.

But wait!! Within just a few centimetres, the Belfast Telegraph has the value of Rory’s US Open lucre slashed to a mere 100 MILLION STERLING.

All too shocking.

But still, everyone agrees that this is one Celtic Tiger on the up. Spend it wisely buddy!

On to more mundane things… so what about the rest of us? How’s Joe Public doing today?

Oh. I see. Thank you Daily Mail.

Time to go practice my golf swing.

Gerry Kelly asked the Minister of Education what progress has been made on the reform of public administration within the education sector.  An excellent question. And recreating the ‘I can’t lie’ moment from Jim Carrey comedy Liar Liar, John obliged with the following:

We have many excellent schools, but we also have too many that are not viable or sustainable. Our education system produces some outstanding exam results each year, but too many children – some 42% – leave school without the qualifications for further education or employment.

Overall, our performance against international comparators is falling back, with serious implications for the economy.

The current administration arrangements are no longer fit for purpose, and cannot meet these challenges.

Bullseye John!

PS. This answer also reveals something of the glacial pace at which the Stormont administration works. What John said here is very similar to the entire content of this article written by his predecessor in 2008. On that occasion, Caitriona concluded by saying:

My programme of education reforms will deliver an education system that is based on equality, is modern, effective and responsive to the needs of our children and young people.

If John’s right, then Caitriona failed.

Robin Swann, Mervyn Storey and Paul Frew asked whether Caral’s department will help Ballymena Borough Council restore Arthur’s Cottage.

That particular ‘black spot’ has been passed on to Sammy Wilson.

Ms Ní Chuilín: In financial terms my Department is not in a position to assist Ballymena Borough Council in the restoration of Arthur Cottage following the recent tragic fire.

When a US president returns to his ancestral home, when that US president reaffirms his special relationship with the south,  and when the world’s gaze casts its eye on Ireland and is pleased with what it sees, somewhere in Northern Ireland the ancestral home of another US president is quietly torched and little interest is paid in restoring it.

Funding for symbols doesn’t put bread on the table. Not in a recession. And yet, the symbolism of a smoking Obama counterpointed by a smouldering Arthur is rather depressing. What will Sammy say?

Meh. As if we weren’t depressed enough already…

Katie and Duke Special ‘Poison’.

He’s a SF MLA, nothing wrong with that. ‘Cept he succeeded in getting Executive Ministers united behind the idea that the GAA hasn’t been taking notice of opportunities to promote itself.

Safety first, Daithi asked the DCAL Minister whether she’d raised the issue of Gaelic games tourism at Executive level in order to generate income for the sector.

In reply, Caral Ní Chuilín said that the GAA has “been given the key contact details at NITB for information on key fixtures to appear on www.discovernorthernireland.com. The GAA have also been offered a link from www.discovernorthernireland.com to its own website. To date the GAA have not contacted NITB on either of these matters.”

Er… okay. Don’t rub it in like.

‘K, what the heck, why not give Arlene a wee touch…

So Daithi asked Arlene whether the NITB provides details of GAA related events on its website.

(You know what’s coming next.)

Mrs Foster: The Gaelic Athletics Association (GAA) has been given the key contact details at NITB for information on key fixtures to appear on www.discovernorthernireland.com The GAA have also been offered a link from www.discovernorthernireland.com to its own website. To date the GAA have not contacted NITB on either of these matters.

To recap: we’ve now established that the GAA are not grasping elemental opportunities open to them to promote themselves.

Er, chara obair deas.

Frontpage pic is from BayerNYC’s flickrstream

They did a cover of ‘Negative Creep‘. It’s embedded below. Listen to it.

Finally Punk – Negative Creep [Nirvana cover] by monsieur alex

Sucks right? Now listen to it again. Enigmatic. It’s at once the worst and the most enjoyable cover I’ve come across.

Went to the Fair by katieandthecarnival

Katie was on ATL this week talking about all the above.

Katie and The Carnival on ATL by bobballs

More pics, a press release and MP3s for a limited edition EP (containing the single) can be accessed here. You can go friend them on facebook.

That’s Gaz Le Rock that is.

He’s the man behind this lyric: ‘I may be soaking wet but f**k you-oo-oo my pet.’

RETARDED COP-LAURAS SONG by RETARDED COP

Videos in his bedroom and non-sequitors to oneside, the music is pretty special.

I like his style, it’s similar to Eagles of Death Metal.

Cherry Cola by TheMoto

If you want to, as Gaz suggests, ‘Friend me up on FACEBOOK to F**K!!’ then click here. I did.