Bob's Bowling Tips - How to Bowling - How to Bowl

Beer and Bowling

2011-10-27T07:23:00.006-04:00

Why can't work have Beer and Bowling? Because work sucks and it last way to long. It is usually the hardest thing you do all day. Unless you have a blog and you never write anything. Sorry about that I will do better, well maybe. I have to go to work now so see you later. Happy Bowling!

Doing What You Enjoy

2011-07-11T21:48:00.003-04:00

Doing what you enjoy is harder than you may think. It's not all the stuff you have to do like work, mowing the grass, taking care of the kids or any other mundane task life has put before you. Trust me there are a lot of those type of things. No, it's actually doing the act. Not that act, although that is enjoyable. It's what ever makes you happy. For me, it's what I'm doing right now, writing. I know, you think "How could anyone have a problem writing?". Easy, I seem to only be able to think when I'm on a break from work. Any other time my mind is a blank. That didn't sound good, although, it may explain my tips. I do love bowling. What other game is there where you can sit in the air conditioning, drink beer and play with your balls. There aren't any, trust me I've looked. Needless to say as much fun as that is I still enjoy writing just as much. It's something about putting an idea or story on paper. To explain it better, it's like allowing my imagination to come to life. Every word has infinite possibilities and has no boundaries. As we all know I seem to cross those a lot. Maybe that is the best thing though, because, people who are afraid to cross a boundary are destined to live inside themselves. So I guess my tip is: Cross a boundary or a line, do something you normally would not do, even if you might offend someone. Most of my tips are rude and offensive, but so what? It really doesn't say who I am. My tips are just a small part of me. Never the less they are a part of me, a part which I am willing to put on paper and video. I may not be the best at this and I have probably lost a few friends, not to mention the respect of a few others, but I don't hurt anyone. I don't embarrass people and I will help anyone if they ask. I live with the idea to set my imagination free and live a full life. I hope someday you can too, if you're not already.
I know this is not one of my normal tips, but, don't worry, I'm sure something will happen soon to jar my artistic ability. Till then bear with me. Coming up with a tip is fun. When I do a tip it normally forms over an unknown period of time and changes more times than I can count. When I get to shoot the video my friends morf whatever I had in my head into something totally different. That is why I write it down. It is the only way I can say what I really mean. So if you watch my videos go to my blog page and see the real story. Oh wait, you're already here. Well I'm glad you came. Please leave a comment. It's like people clapping or booing. Either way, it helps to motivate and spark my imagination. Till next time, Happy Bowling.

Why do men finish first?

2011-06-28T12:08:00.002-04:00

Why do men finish first? Is it that women are slow or lazy, well not lazy. I know most or at least some women work harder than men. So it can't be that they are lazy, maybe it's that they like to talk before,during and after. Yeah I'd say that is probably a big part of it. Because as we all know women like to talk, whereas, men don't really say alot during. Now beforehand we will talk a whole lot, about how great we are, how much we score,how big and shiny our balls are, any number of things. Afterwards, well it's time to brag. Now understand the act that I speak of only took about two minutes. These are some of the things men will say "Did you see what I just did?","Can you feel me?", "Get some!",and "You can't handle this." These are just some of the things we will shout out after what we consider a perfect release, letting go of our ball. Now during, men don't say a word until the release, then we either shout, scream or bow our head in shame and stay there for a few seconds looking dazed and confused, like my friend Mork does sometimes. Mork, just let it go. It's not that women don't concentrate as hard as men, actually they concentrate harder. In plainer terms, they overthink. Maybe that's why men do finish before women because by the time a man is finished a woman is still trying to figure out where she wants to stand. The whole time she is standing there, she is second guessing herself. Not to mention talking to her friends. So remember, when you are playing with a woman you have to let her get there in her own sweet time. That's why it's best to get two lanes. That way you can finish twice to her once, unless you're Mork and then you're still standing there looking. So till next time,remember, men will always finish first as long as women have something to talk about. Happy bowling.

Lane Courtesy

2011-03-17T22:07:00.004-04:00

Lane courtesy, no, I am not talking about bowing or curtsying to the lane or to the people you bowl with. I am not talking about keeping your voice down either after all bowling is exciting. You can scream if someone does something good, as a matter of fact I encourage it. Let the people you play with know what you like, otherwise they won't know what to do next time. What I speak of when I say "Lane courtesy" is manners. That's right, manners. Nothing makes me madder than to step up to the line, find my mark, get focused in and all of the sudden I see some idiot out of the corner of my eye come flying past me flinging his ball all over the place, like he has no clue about what it means to wait your turn. If you get a person on either side of you its like having an unasked for manage a tois. Nobody gets what they expected and you all leave unsatisfied and pissed off. Sometimes you even wake up the next day and tell yourself "I'll never play with my balls again." Well, that's not what we want so here's the rule people. If someone next to you, on either side, steps up to bowl, wait until they finish before you step up to the line. It's just common courtesy, thus lane courtesy. In professional bowling there is a two lane courtesy. That means if I step up to the line, no one on either side of me for two lanes will step up to bowl. So it's like this, Don't pull on Superman's cape, don't spit into the wind, don't pull the mask off the ole lone ranger, and you don't bowl out of turn next to Bob. Till next time, Happy Bowling.

Loosing the Pocket

2011-02-26T14:00:00.003-05:00

What happens when you can't find the pocket? No Lisa, I'm not talking about that pocket. I'm talking about the One and Two pocket and no Mork I didn't number them. The pocket I speak of is the one pin and the two pin. No matter what you do you just can't seem to find it. You go to the left, you go to the right, you speed up, slow down, it doesn't matter what you try. You just can't hit it. The best advice I can give you is this; a few weeks ago, I was having this exact same problem. It seemed that no matter what I did I just could not hit the pocket. A friend of mine from out of the blue told me to step back one foot and throw the ball exactly the way I was throwing it. I did so and it hit the pocket every time. I'm not saying that stepping back one foot is going to change your game but sometimes someone can see a problem where you can't. That's why it's nice to ask for help every now and then. THe biggest handi-cap someimes that people face is their own pride. Sometimes you have to give up a little bit to solve a problem. We all would like to think that we know everything there is to know but there is always someone out there who knows or can see a little more than we can. So my advice is, listen to the people around you. You don't have to take their advice but it never hurts to hear it and remember bowling is supposed to be fun. So try not to get angry if you don't hit the pocket. It's not that big a deal. Till next time, Happy Bowling.

Twas the night before Christmas by Bob's wife

2010-12-24T13:22:00.002-05:00

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even Bob's balls. The lanes were all closed. The lights were all dim. Everyone was happy except, for him. The leaguers were home all snug in their beds, while visions of falling pins danced in their heads. With Ma and her reading and I with my balls had just finished playing and decking the halls. When out on the lawn there arouse such a clatter. I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter. When what to my wondering eyes should appear but Fagan and Mork with bottles of beer. We invited them in to toast the new year, turns out they were early and my wife is pissed cause they are all still here. So laying a finger aside of her nose she threw them all out into the snow. But I heard them exclaim as they stumbled out of sight. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good strike. This is Bob and his family wishing everyone a Merry Christmas with the hopes that they all get what they want and not just what they deserve. Happy Bowling.

The Perfect Woman

2010-12-06T22:19:00.001-05:00

The five greatest words in the English language must be: RICH, ELDERLY, ALCOHOLIC, FEMALE, BOWLER. How great are those five words, seriously it’s amazing!
Ok, here’s what happened, I was working on Saturday morning. It was about 10:30 and I got hungry. I went to the snack bar to get a breakfast sandwich, understand what I’m saying, a breakfast sandwich, sausage, egg and cheese to be exact. Anyway, so I’m standing in line and there are two well dressed elderly women standing in front of me. I know they are rich because they are looking at the menu like they could order it all. So I figure they are waiting on coffee….warm milk…..tea or something soft they can chew. What do they get? They get two cups and a pitcher of beer. I fell in love. There werer the perfect women. Rich, so they could buy you a new bowling ball every week. Elderly, so they wouldn’t be around much longer and would leave you their money. Alcoholic so you could drink anytime you wanted, Hell, you could wake up with a beer in your hand and it would be just fine. Female, I mean they were old but for their age they were hot. I’d tap it once a month to keep them happy. Last, but never least, Bowler.
They love bowling, not just a little, a lot, from what I could tell. They bowled four games and drank two pitchers of beer at 10:30 in the morning. If I wasn’t already married I could be in love. Oh sure, they don’t bowl great but at least I would never lose and by my rules winner gets whatever they want, “New balls”. Because, let’s face it, if I ever did leave my wife she would probably crush the ones I have now. I love you honey. So remember ,rich, elderly , alcoholic, female, bowlers are like shooting stars. If you don’t grab it when you see it, you may never see one again. If you do grab it….hide your balls from your wife. Till next time, Happy Bowling.

Pick Up a Spare

2010-09-19T10:23:00.005-04:00

I was working last night and I noticed something. I HATE PEOPLE! Not all people, just some people. It's not that I'm not a nice person, I am. I just can't understand why people feel the need to go Bowling at 1:00 in the morning. I know I should be happy just to have a job and I am trust me. You must agree though if they insist on bowling that late at night or that early in the morning at least they could do is have the common courtesy to pick up the spare. There is nothing worse than watching someone miss an easy spare and they haven't even been drinking. It's like they don't even care. It just pisses me off. I watch a guy last night miss the five pin four different times. Just throw it down the center. I mean really how hard is that. I almost put the bumpers up for him and trust me that's not a good thing. The bumpers are for little girls or men who suck at picking up the five pin. I know with all my knowledge of the game you ask your self. "Why did Bob not go over and teach this man the proper way to pick up the spare?" I could have told him to find your mark in the center at the beginning of lane. Now bring your arm straight back keeping your eye on the mark. As your hand comes down watch it pass over your mark after you release the ball. That would have almost guaranteed him to pick it up. But as I said before it was one o'clock in the morning and Bob doesn't teach at one in the morning. Bob just wants you to go home. There were some other people there, but his girlfriend was good looking and he had three strikes in a row. He was not a better Bowler than the other guy he was just getting lucky. Getting lucky is not a bad thing. Trust me, we all need a little luck sometimes. There was one other group bowling. They had a guy that was huge. He stood about six foot and weighed about 300 lbs. They called him Angel, I thought that was kind of cool. He threw the ball in the gutter every time, I mean every time. His score looked like this ------------ . No kidding! He sucked beyond belief but,I really didn't mind him that much. I even found myself pulling for him. Just hoping he could knock down one pin. He never did but yet again he had a good looking girl friend. So what did we learn? For Bob not to hate you at one in the morning, You either have to pick up your spares,throw a strike, be named Angel, have a good looking girl friend or go the hell home. Till next time, Happy Bowling!

The Good, The Bad, and The What Were You Thinking.

2010-09-11T17:57:00.004-04:00

I know it's been awhile since I posted. Please, forgive me for my lack of attention but now here is a new tip. The good, the bad, and the what were you thinking? There is good and bad in every type of bowling. In league bowlers, the good is that they are courteous and know the rules of the game. They know when to wait for the other bowlers. They have their own balls, that is a big plus since I'm responsible for putting the balls away. League bowlers congratulate each other whether they make a good shot or not, and they get very excited when you make a great shot. The only problem with league bowlers is, well, I won't say the only problem, every shot is for the win. By that I mean EVERY SHOT. They take their time, every time they step up to the line. For goodness sakes, just throw the ball! I could be a 7-10 split and they would still spend ten minutes trying to figure out how they are going to pick it up. When we all know, odds are, it's never going to happen. They also know everything there is to know about bowling, including the machines they've never seen. Imagine trying to repair the machine in the back of the bowling alley where the pins get sorted and all the sudden someone up front is pushing buttons because they know that if they push that button everything is going to work the way it's supposed to.
Now, they are not as bad as the average bowler. I take that back they are as bad. It's just a different kind of bad. As much as one kind of Bowler cares the other doesn't. Which is why there is good and bad bowlers. The average bowler is happy-go-lucky, likes to laugh and generally have a good time. Normally they don't care about the score, even when it's low. If a pin is missing,that's to their advantage. Where a league bowler, if a pin is missing, the world must stop until it is corrected. The average bowler generally is not hard to get along with, there are those that do not respect common courtesy when it comes to who's turn it is. They are also much louder than league bowlers and generally more obnoxious. I know what your're thinking...How can someone be happy-go-lucky and obnoxious at the same time? Trust me, it's possible. The last thing for an average bowler they will play with anyone's balls. Where a league bowler will only play with his own balls.
Now, for what were you thinking, there are those select individuals who think bowling at 12:30 at night and drinking way too much beer is the perfect time to become best friends with the cop who works at the bowling alley. There is nothing better than to watch the expression on the cop's face as the drunk is trying to explain to him that his not as drunk wife or girlfriend is the designated driver. The whole time I'm watching this play out the only thing I can think of is that it will happen again the next weekend, like it always does. Well, that's it for now. So remember, Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and the drunks as far away as you can. Till next time, Happy Bowling.

Knowing

2010-05-02T09:45:00.000-04:00

First thing place fingers in the holes and then your thumb. Making sure you have a tight fit. The last thing you want to do is to slip out and have premature release. Now check your feet, make sure they are where they need to be. If your off just a little to the left or right; you could miss the pocket completely. Now find your mark whether it be a dot, an arrow or some other random place you choose to look at. Never! I mean never look directly at it. Will it blind you? NO! But it can intimidate you and make you nervous. We all know at this point the last thing you want to be is nervous; So don't even try it. Now with your first step, slightly raise your ball in front of you while keeping your eyes on your mark. While taking your second step push your ball away from your body. I know this sounds funny but it is a must. Upon your third step allow your ball or balls to swing down like a pendulum, literally going behind your body. You might think this would hurt but it doesn't I promise. We're now at the fourth step. At this point your ball should start it's descent.It is very crucial that your arm stays stiff and you keep your balls supported. I can't stress how important it is to stay stiff. If your having problems with this. Not to worry there are plenty of products out that can help. So remember if your not stiff you could miss your mark. That brings up a good point. During all of this you must look at your mark. Nothing else matters but the mark. OK we are down to the last step. It is not even a step as much as it is a slide when properly done right. When you start to slide your ball it should be at about 6 o clock. Going from a 5 o' clock positioning follow through to the 3'o clock position you should then fully released. At this point you should still be following through. It is very important not to stop after you release. That is the biggest mistake most people make. As soon as they feel their ball drop they quit. Normally they receive an unsatisfactory result. Now if everything has been done correctly you will know when the ball leaves your hand you have a strike. That is the best feeling in the world and that is what I mean by Knowing! Happy Bowling.

How Stiff Are You ??????

2010-04-18T11:41:00.001-04:00

That may seem like a strange question, but it really isn't. You remember when you were younger and you stayed stiff all night and all day long, when you could hit the spot every time? You had control,discipline and you never slipped out of the hole. Well unfortunately, we all get older. So like most things we start to lose some of our stamina and strength, upon release our balls seem to want to go to the left or right. You might think or blame your swing for missing your mark and you would be right but it probably isn't something you would think about. It's Your wrist! Yes, it is part of your swing. It is a small part that can make a big difference. When you release your ball everything has to work together. Right when the ball leaves your hand your wrist must stay straight. That is one of the biggest problems most older bowlers have. They don't want to admit they are getting older or that they can't keep it stiff. If you go limp and your ball drops just a little, it could mean the difference between a 300 game and a 299 game. Not to worry though there is help. The Bowling Glove! It is designed to do one thing. To keep you straight, you may lose a little bit of your twisty ball, because you won't have as much flexibility. What you will have, is control and consistency which is the name of the game when it comes to bowling. You can find many different kinds of bowling gloves at most pro shops. The trick is to find one that works for you. If you do decide to get one allow your self time to get use to it. Like I said, your old approach may not work. Which means you will have to move one way or the other and change your mark. So remember if it's not stiff your not playing with it right. Happy Bowling!

Play Your Own Game

2010-02-25T21:26:00.000-05:00

I went Bowling with my friend Jason this weekend and I noticed something. Every time I threw a strike He threw the ball harder to try and keep up. If he had stopped worrying about what I was doing he might have won. I think that is what a lot of people's problem is. They think about what the other person is doing instead of playing their own game. So here is my tip, don't worry about what the other person is doing. If they are having a great game, good for them. The trick is to concentrate on your own game. What works for them may not work for you because everyone bowls differently. Not all balls are the same. If you factor in everyone having a different style of bowling and the balls are different, then no two games should be the same. So the next time you go bowling with your friends, don't think about what they are doing, just play the game that you know how to play. Try and listen to what the lane is trying to tell you. If your ball is hooking too soon try adjusting the spot where you throw the ball. If that doesn't work try moving to one side or the other one or two boards. When your friend plays I'm not saying don't pay attention to what he is doing, if you have played with him before you might learn something about the lane that he doesn't notice. Just don't get discouraged if he seems to be doing better than you. We all have an off night sometimes. Its going to happen to everyone at least once. The trick is to not get discouraged but to learn from it. If nothing else, you had fun playing with your balls. Till next time, Happy Bowling.

The Apology

2010-02-21T09:35:00.000-05:00

I feel I may have offended a few people, okay a lot of people. It may have been my blog on polishing your balls or what kind of Bowler are you. It may also have been Rent-a-child but it was probably my wife hates my balls. None the less there are plenty of things I should most likely apologizes for. So here it goes I'm Sorry! I never meant to embarrass or make anyone uncomfortable. That has never been my intent nor shall it ever be. I just want to make people laugh and learn a few tricks about Bowling. Most of the people who watch my videos are friends and the ones that aren't I hope will soon be. If my videos make you laugh or shock you remember it's all in fun. I hope to be doing this for a long time to come.
Maybe I do talk about my balls to much but that's a big part of Bowling. After all think about it you polish your balls, you wipe off your balls after you play with them, you twist your balls, you go hard and straight with your balls, and you compare your balls to your friends balls. And bowling is not about who has the better ball. It's about who plays with his balls better. A friend of mine on Youtube said "Bob + bowling = Balls" At first I didn't know how to respond to this, but I guess in a way, he's right because when it comes right down to it bowling is balls, and I am bowling. So, I do apologize for some of my blogs being misunderstood or mistaken, but I do not apologize for playing with my balls. As I said in one of my videos, there are three types of bowlers. There is the stroker, the Tweener and the Cranker. I am a stroker and I will continue to stroke till I can stroke no more. So remember though you may be misunderstood and thought insane continue to do what makes you happy because no one else will do it for you. To all you strokers out there...Stroke on! Till next time, Happy Bowling.

Not Loosing

2010-02-15T22:08:00.000-05:00

Yes We won! Can you believe it? WE kicked their beep. Yes, I'm so happy I have decided to keep it clean. I know what you're thinking there is no way. Well I am going to anyway Ha! The reason I'm so happy is we beat the #2 team in the league. I know right! I Bowled a 215,176 and 205 not too bad. The other members of my team bowled great too. The other team didn't seem to bowl as well as they normally do. I don't know why and I don't care, we won. I must thank God for this. It must sound strange to here me say that considering the way my blogs are. My friends will probably give me a hard time about this but I don't care. I said it and I will stand by it. Now back to the game. We started out kind of slow, well not me. I had a strike in the first frame, a spare in the second and four strikes in a row. I didn't do as well in the second half but I did break a two hundred so I'm pleased. I think I'm going to go drink a beer. I will continue this tomorrow sorry to cut it short but I'm just so happy. Speaking of which Happy Bowling!

Snow Bowling

2010-01-31T22:38:00.000-05:00

If you ever wonder if you're alive grab a bowling ball, a few members of your family and at least ten two liter soda bottles. Walk out into the snow and make a bowling lane. You will never imagine how much fun you can have and that is my tip tonight. You don't need fancy lights, oiled lanes or two-hundred-fifty dollar balls. All you need is a desire to have fun with your friends and family. Don't get me wrong....I still went to the bowling alley today. I didn't bowl quite as well as I normally do but I did have a lot of fun. If you do get the opportunity to bowl in the snow, I highly recommend it. The only thing I will do different next time is have a sled to run into the pins with, besides that everything else is pretty much perfect. Your balls do get a little bit cold so make sure you wear plenty of clothes and gloves don't hurt. You can still twist your ball a lot but you don't get the same reaction out of it. It doesn't seem to hook quite as well. That's probably because it has a hard time gripping the snow. The reason I did this is a friend of mine contacted me on Facebook and asked me to do a special video of snow or ice bowling, otherwise I probably never would have thought to do it. So I must give credit where credit is due...Thank you Denise. Again I have league bowling tomorrow night as you all know we are in last place, hopefully, we will make a drastic comeback. I will let you know tomorrow night. Different time- same channel. Till next time, Happy Bowling.

Win or Lose

2010-01-25T20:43:00.000-05:00

It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game, unless you're the team that lost. Then it is about losing. No, we didn't win. We did how ever bowl very well. The other team just happened to bowl a little better. Every game was as close as you could want it to be.

We did have a good time bowling against each other. One of our players had to miss tonight so we had to take his average. Which meant that we will never know if he would have helped us or hurt us. It really doesn't matter, we had a great time and that made it all worth it. We are now in last place. Is that bad? Well. it sure as hell ain't good but I have faith that we will make a somewhat descent come back. For now we will just have to settle for last place. I did how ever bowl 20 to 45 pins above my average. That's right, I'm the man. Any time you can bowl that well you need to be happy and I am.

The team we bowled against is the team with the cheering section. For some reason I didn't mind tonight. I even kind of got in to it. That's right, there I was with hands over my head screaming for my team mate. No I was not Drinking Beer I probably should of been but I wasn't. I was drinking tea and sober as all get out. I'm not saying that I drink all the time I don't. I just like to drink a few beers with my friends on Wed when we bowl.

My friends aren't against leagues they just don't want to be in one. I have tried to talk them into it but with no avail. Which really doesn't matter the team I'm on now is great. They are good people and great bowlers what more could I ask for? To WIN a game! What do I have to do? I'm sorry, Yes I had a great time but we lost. That sucks. I tried to have a bright outlook but what's a guy got to do. I'm calm again I just had to vent. Till next time remember winning is everything and loosing sucks. So have a good time becuase odds are it will be one or the other.

Happy Bowling.

The Week Ahead...

2010-01-24T18:21:00.000-05:00

Well it's a new week and a new game. We will see how it's going to play out. I have a game tomorrow night. I don't know who we will be playing but we will try to win. As long as it's not an old lady we should be okay. If not well I can always trip her on her approach. I do know this if I keep my eye on my mark and my arm straight. Follow threw and most of all take my time. I can't loose or can I? Find out tomorrow different time same channel.

Happy Bowling!

The League

2010-01-22T18:44:00.000-05:00

First off I must apologize for not talking to you for so long. Many interesting things have been happening, none of them good. We still seem to be losing for no better reason than the lack of skill and that is mostly my fault. I don't mean to blame my self it's just that I know I can do better. The last game we played or should I say the last three games should have been ours. They weren't because I decided to throw two gutter balls in the fourth and fifth frames. That would be the strike ball not the spare. I still love my new ball don't get me wrong. The problem is that to hit the pocket I now have to start on the three or four board. It's really hard to get used to especially, when your used to starting on the 10 board. I know it will get better I just have to give time.
Now about the team we played against. I must say the man on the team was very good. That's right, again it was one guy and two women and get this, The mans wife came to watch. I am impressed I have to take my hat off to him. I don't get it, why did I get two guys? I know a lot of you are laughing right now. Well least my friends are. Anyway the team didn't act like the other teams. Like I said they were nice but this time I could tell they were in it to win. I loved it!!!!!

It was awesome take no prisoners. Unless I made a fantastic shot they hardly even noticed me. There was none of this smacking of hands whether you knock down a pin or not. It felt like real competition that we just happened to loose,Other than that it was great. Well I really don't have a great tip to give you. So here is some wisdom. Even if you think you're never going to get any better don't give up,you will, just keep practicing and remember. After an alien anal probe every days a good day.

Happy Bowling!

New Balls and Old Holes

2010-01-08T14:14:00.000-05:00

I got a new Bowling Ball for Christmas. I say new, when actually it is used but it really doesn't matter. I love it! It is a Brunswick Raging Inferno. I read some reviews about it, they weren't raving but they weren't bad. I know a lot of people prefer Storm or Amf and I actually own a Angle Evolution,which it is great for dry line conditions. Unfortunately, where I Bowl the lines are medium to heavy oil,which forced me to get a different Bowling ball for the hook I wanted.

Now about the holes, I didn't have a problem with the distance between them. In fact it fit almost perfect, like it was meant to be. The problem was that who ever had it before me was bigger than I am. Which meant they made the hole too big for me. I practically had to go from side to side just to feel it. Not to worry though I took it to someone I know and he put an insert in it. An insert is a piece of solid plastic which is glued in where the old hole used to be and then it is drilled to fit.

Now it is tight but not too tight and the more I use it the looser it will become. The best thing is when I come back to it,it feels tight again. How cool is that? It's not that the hole shrinks it's just that when I first start playing with it I'm a little swollen. Most people after they start playing their thumb swells more. Not so with me the more I play the more the swelling goes down.

After a while it's a perfect fit. It's like I could go all day and all night. Which is good because we all know how much I love to play with my Balls. The truth is and the tip, if you have to change your balls, measure your old hole and use it on your new balls. Because let's face it a good hole is hard to find.

Happy Bowling!

To League or Not to League - Game Two

2009-12-20T19:28:00.000-05:00

Well, it's been a week since I started this. I must say it isn't as easy as I thought it would be. The lanes are different and people are different too. Well maybe not different, it's just strange that as soon as I joined the league I automatically got tons of friends.

The same people who barely spoke to me before are now my best friends. I'm serious, it's like someone flipped a switch. I don't get it. I'm the same person I was before I joined league. Now poof I'm every body's friend. Hopefully I will be able figure this out too.

The second team we face are a lot younger than our last opponenst. Thank goodness! I do believe my wholesome heart prevented me from beating that old woman. This team will not be so lucky. The person I will be bowling against is the man of the group. He is a little shorter than I but a lot stockier. The other two are women, one is very tall and the other is my height. Wait, I almost forgot they have a baby with them. It is 18 months old and she is cute as can be. They take turns holding the baby as they bowl. I must say it is unusual to watch but at least they are together.

Oh I hope they don't forget they are holding a baby and not a ball this could get interesting. League bowlers, it turns out will congratulate anyone who makes a good shot. Even if the person is on the other team. How strange is that? I'm all for sportsmanship but this is war and I'm in it to win.

Now about the game. We lost the first game over all. My game did improve a little I'm glad to say. My ball still is not working like I want it to. I tried changing where I stand and it seemed to help. I'm thinking about buying a new ball if things don't improve.

The second game went a little better we almost won. Unfortunately we still suck! The third game went the same as the first two. We lost again. Why is that some people give up and others fight to the end? I am not one to give up. My team will win if it kills me. For all of you wondering, the baby survived.

Till next time Happy Bowling!

To League or Not to League - Game One

2009-12-19T21:30:00.000-05:00

When I arrive at the Bowling alley, the first thing I do is find my team. Now, who do we play? Honestly I don't remember their names. I can tell you this, they were women and they were elderly. Well, maybe not elderly but they were up in years. I know what your thinking, how can Bob play against elderly women? Hey I'm not above putting a beat down on a old lady. If she wants to see what I can do with my balls bring it.

The one I will be Bowling against is kind of small. Seriously I think the ball weighs more than she does, but wait I forgot to tell you, in league bowling you bowl on two lanes. By that I mean you bowl odd frames on one lane and even on the other. That makes it more of a challenge.

Now back to the beat down, as I said before, she is frail and weak. I watch her as we warm up she is Hilarius. When she approaches the lane for her release she jumps when she lets go of the ball. I do my best not to laugh. I wish I could tell what it looked like but words can not describe it. As for myself, I look smooth and confidante as usual. First frame she gets a spare I leave it open. No problem it was my first time bowling on a league. Second frame she gets a strike again I leave it open. For some reason I'm having a hard time reading the lanes. The third and fourth frames go about the same. The fifth frame I gutter my first ball. My team mates burst into laughter.

I'm sure to show their support for my effort. The short one tells me I can start bowling when ever I'm ready. The tall one keeps screaming hit the head pin it helps. WE will skip the rest of this game and move on to the second. In the middle of the second game something strange happened. The little old lady, who by the way, has been throwing strikes and spares this whole time looks at me for a brief second after throwing her third strike in a row. As if to say who's your daddy now! Let me tell you until you've had that happened to you. You have not lived. I will remember that look for the rest of my life.

I gained an admiration for her at that point. Now I won't say I did much better in the third game but over all I think I did OK. For some reason my ball doesn't hook like it normally does. One problem I believe is that the lanes have a fresh coat of oil. Which I believe can cause the ball not to hold as well. It could also be a different oil pattern. Ether way I will figure it out. My tip is this never under estimate your opponent or you might get your ass handed to you by an old lady.

Happy Bowling!

To league or not to league...

2009-12-06T16:02:00.000-05:00

To league or not to league, that is the question. I feel that to be able to write about this I must first live it. After all how can one write about anything unless they've been to the belly of the beast. To start I must first explain and clarify that I have never wanted nor desired to be a league bowler. Not that I have anything against them. It's just that I've seen them and I always felt that they thought they were better or more devoted to the sport than I, which honestly, is not the case.

In reality my friends and I are probably as good if not better bowlers than 80 % of them. That's not to say that they are not great bowlers in their own right. Now on to the topic at hand, to league or not to league. First off what is a league? Is it just a group of guys standing around, drinking beer, and playing with their balls? Oh wait, no, that's what I do now. No, a league or as Wikipedia defines it, a league is a group event where several teams bowl against each other.

It seems the first bowling league was formed in 1895 in New York City. Also formed was the American bowling congress known as ABC. As a side note in my neck of the woods you can buy Alcohol at an ABC store. How great is this sport? It's not the same ABC you understand. Now that we know what a league is I have to join one. Well, in truth, I already did. I unfortunately was not able to start at the beginning but luckily someone dropped out and I took his place.

Now about my bowling team, there are three of us, myself and two brothers. I won't mention their names to protect the innocent. I'll just say they seem nice. I learned one thing right off the bat, to join a league you first have to be sanctioned with the United States Bowling Congress, or in short, join the bowling club.

Your due is $20.00 per year which in truth isn't that bad considering all they do. The league I joined is also $10.00 a week whether you bowl or not. How crappy is that? I mean come on....I wasn't even there. Oh well, it turns out they don't care. It seems that if you're going to be on the team you have to pay for each week no matter what. Now how can my score count if I'm not there. What they do is enter my average which is determined by the first three games I bowl into the computer and it gives me a score. Unless someone shows up to bowl for me.

This is at the teams discretion. Which means if you are a sanctioned bowler you can show up at a different league and offer to bowl if someone is absent. It's free bowling, get it? It's a pretty good deal if you like to bowl with strangers. Well that's it for now and I'll tell you about the first game next time.

Happy Bowling.

Spouses- My wife hates my balls

2009-11-08T18:10:00.000-05:00

Why can't women understand how much our balls mean to us? I know some women do. Some women even enjoy playing with balls, unfortunately, my wife isn't one of them. She says she dislikes them but I can see in her eyes, when she looks at them, that she hates them.

I asked her to hold one one time. She said she didn't like the way it felt. It was hard and oily. She still plays with me but the problem with that is, we always get in an argument. The last time we played she picked one up with both hands and just kind of flicked it. I said " What the hell was that". She said she was doing the best she could do. I said " Well if that's the best you can do you're never going to get a reaction out of it."

She also says that I show off my balls. Every time one of our friends comes over to the house I show them my balls. I can't help that I am proud of them. I mean, maybe I do polish them a little too much and maybe she has caught me once or twice in the bedroom with one in my hand fantasizing. Don't give me that look, we've all done it.

I guess what brought all this to a head is that one night I was polishing my balls and I decided to watch television. So I'm lying there with my balls on the bed. She comes walking in and one falls on her foot. She screams and I start laughing. I thought it was funny. Then she accuses me of loving my balls more than I love her. So I told her...fine, the next time I go bowling I'll throw her down the lane and if she can pick up a 7/10 split, I'll get rid of my balls.

Till then my tip is keep your balls in one hand, your wife in the other and never the twain shall meet. Till next time.

Happy Bowling!

The Pocket... Revisited

2009-10-27T19:52:00.000-04:00

I say revisited because, well, I don't feel I paid enough respect to it the first time. I mean really, it was my first time and I was very inexperienced, not to mention nervous. I mean it seems like no sooner did it start then boom it was over. So I decided to try it again.

The pocket or as I like to call it, the sweet spot is something that most men want to hit and some women too. The sweet spot that is, not the women. I know what you're saying " Women like to hit the sweet spot?" Yes, and some are very good at it. The question is though, how can you hit the sweet spot?

There are many different ways to approach it. You can go straight down the middle, you can start on either side and go at it or you can start in the middle go to the side and come back to it. I even know people who go from one side to the other and come back to it. The trick to remember is what worked once may not work every time.

You must learn to adapt. After you've thrown it a couple of times look to see if your ball is wet or has oil on it. If there is a lot of oil you may have to wipe off your balls every so often. If it is dry you may have to change position and find some oil.

I must tell you though, even if you hit the sweet spot there is no guarantee of success. But sometimes if you hit it just right the explosion and cheers are worth all the effort. So in short, pay attention to what your balls are telling you. Don't be afraid to change position and remember the one three pocket is hard for everyone to hit.

Happy Bowling

First Date Ettiquette

2009-10-15T19:10:00.000-04:00

When you go to pick up your date, if she looks a little heavy don't try it, because if you can't she'll think she's fat and that will ruin the date.

Now when you arrive at you destination, do you open the car door and escort her in or do you pick up your balls, walk in and let her catch up? I know what my balls and I would do. On to the topic of shoe rental, since she probably didn't bring her own shoes go ahead and rent them for her, but let her buy the first pitcher of beer, because as we all know shoes are cheaper than beer.

Now, as far as who goes first, normally the person who starts first finishes first so it is best to let her make the first play, that way she finishes before you and at the end both of you are satisified. Do you allow her to play with your balls on the first date? If it is not her first time it should be okay, if it is she could hurt them. This call is up to you. Now do you allow her to win? Never let any woman win. It is not in our nature. What if she won't let you beat her? Then there is no use tying her up.

At the end of your date if she doesn't kiss you goodbye in the car there probably isn't any reason to walk her to the front door. So leave, go back to the bowling alley and play with yourself.

Happy Bowling