Bob's Den

Avatar vs 3 Idiots

2010-01-06T19:54:00.004+05:30

Whole world is talking about "Avatar" and its director James Cameron but bollywood movie "3 Idiots" is far better and much more entertaining than costliest movie ever made "Avatar".

"Avatar" is based on sci-fiction and "3 Idiots" is based on the life and struggle of youngsters. As I think, if you are going to watch any movie, besides entertainment movie must have some lesson for all the people and the lesson which has been give in "3 Idiots", is awesome. While "Avatar" has just the extraordinary things which have no value in human's daily life.

Aamir Khan has played the character of "Rancho" who is India's Edison in this movie. Rancho is brilliant minded student of India's top engineering college who always wants to learn and discover new things. Ideas of Rancho are always very unique but disliked by the teachers specially virus (Boman Irani). Rancho really shows us the right path for choosing our career and living life. Besides Rancho, everyone has acted very well and given very good
performances. Rancho's friends "Rastogi" and "Qureshi" have really shown the true friendship and his girlfriend Kareena is also looking very beautiful. All these idiots have made us laugh a lot.

"3 Idiots" is a complete movie which makes us laugh and cry. I also watched "Avatar" last week but except special effects there was nothing in that movie. Bollywood "3 Idiots" really deserves the crown this time. I must say "ALL IS WELL" in this movie.

Jokes - My Friend

2009-12-06T17:24:00.005+05:30

Three lawyers and three engineers were travelling by train to a conference.
At the station, each lawyer bought a ticket whereas the engineers bought
only one ticket between them.
.How are you going to travel on a single ticket?. asked a lawyer.
.Wait and watch,. answered one of the engineers.
When they boarded the train, the lawyers took their seats, but the thre e
engineers crammed into a toilet and closed the door behind them. Shortly
after the train started, the ticket collector arrived. He knocked on the toilet
door and asked, .Ticket please.. The door opened just a crack and a single
arm emerged with a ticket in hand. The ticket collector took it and moved
on. Seeing this, the lawyers decided to the same thing on the return trip.
So when they got to the station, they bought only one ticket. To their
astonishment, the engineers didn.t buy any. .How are you going to travel
without a ticket?. asked one of the perplexed lawyers.
.Wait and watch,. answered an engineer.
In the train, the three engineers crammed into a toilet and the three lawyers
into another nearby. Soon after the train started, one of the engineers got out
of the toilet and walked to one where the lawyers were hiding.
He knocked on the door and said, .Ticket, please..

*****
Maid: What do you want, sir?
Visitor: I want to see your master.
Maid: What.s your business, please?
Visitor: There is a bill…
Maid: Ah! He left yesterday for his village…
Visitor: Which I have to pay him…
Maid: And he returned this morning.

*****
Men who treat women as helpless and charming playthings deserve women
who treat men as delightful and generous bank accounts.

*****
A foreign tourist hired a guide to take him around Delhi and Agra. At the
Red Fort at Delhi, he admired the architecture and asked how many years it
took to build.
.Twenty years,. replied the guide.
.You Indians are a lazy lot,. the tourist said. .In my country, this could have
been built in five..
At Agra he admired the Taj.s beauty and asked how many years it took to
build.
.Only ten years,. said the guide.
The tourist retorted: .You Indians are slow! We can construct such buildings
in two-and-a-half..
In this fashion the tourist claimed that every building he admired could have
been built in his country in quarter the time. Finally, when they reached the
Qutab Minar, and the tourist asked what it was, the guide replied: .I don.t
know. It wasn.t there yesterday evening..

*****

Overheard at the veterinarian.s: .I had my cat neutered. He.s still out all
night with the other cats, but now he.s a consultant..

*****
When an efficient secretary asked her boss for a raise in her salary, he
turned her down, saying: .Your salary is already higher than that of the
secretary at the next desk. And she has five children..
.Excuse me,. the efficient woman replied, .I thought we got paid for what we
produce here.not for what we produce at home in our own time..

*****
A small farm boy was milking his cow when all of a sudden a bull came
charging towards him. As horrified workers nearby watched, the boy calmly
continued his milking.
To everyone.s astonishment, the bull stopped a few inches from the boy,
turned around and walked away . .Weren.t you afraid?. one of the workers
asked the boy.
.Not at all,. the boy replied , .I knew this cow was his mother-in-law..

*****
A patient complains to a famous psychologist: .Professor, I.ve been having
terrible obsessions for years, and no one has ever been able to help me..
.Who.s been treating you until now?.
.Dr Lal Rathor..
.I see. He.s an idiot. I.m curious to know what he advised you to do..
.To come and see you..

*****
Overheard: I can say one good thing about airline food: at least they.re
considerate enough to give you only small portions.
*****

Two terrorists were driving to the location where they intended to plant a
bomb, which one of them had in his lap.
.Drive a little faster, the bomb may go off any minute,. said the man carrying
the explosive.
.Don.t worry,. the driver assured him, .we have got a spare one in the boot..

*****
Boy to mother: I.ve decided to stop studying..
.How come?. asked the mother.
.I heard that that someone was shot dead, because he knew too much..
*****

For their first anniversary, a man bought his young wife a cell phone. She
was thrilled and listened eagerly as he explained all its features. The next
day she was out shopping when the phone rang.
.Hey, darling,. he husband said. .How do you like your new phone?.
.Oh, I just love it!. she gushed. .It.s so cute and small.and your voice sounds
so clear. But there.s just one thing I don.t understand..
.What.s that?.
.How did you know I was at the sari shop?.
*****

Husband and wife were in the midst of a violent quarrel, and hubby was
losing his temper. .Be careful,. he said to his wife. .You.ll bring out the beast
in me..
.So what?. his wife shot back. .Who.s afraid of a mouse?.

*****
A man was driving well above the speed limit when a police car suddenly
emerged from behind, sirens blaring. Thinking he.d outpace the cop, the
man pushed his accelerator to the floor. His car.s speed rose to sixty, then
seventy, eighty, and ninety. Finally, the man thought, what the heck, and
pulled over, ready to receive a speeding ticket.
The police officer got out, leaned over the man and said: .Listen, Mister, I
have had a really lousy day, and I just want to go home. Give me a good
excuse and I.ll let you go..
The man thought for a moment and said: .Three weeks ago my wife ran off
with a police officer. When I saw your car in my mirror, I thought you were
that officer and were trying to give her back to me..
No ticket.
*****

Late one night, a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a
well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs. .Give me your money,. he
demanded.
Indignant, the affluent man replied, .You can.t do this.I.m a politician!.
.In that case,. replied the robber, .give me my money!.

*****
An American visiting England walked into a hotel lobby. .The lift will be
down presently,. the receptionist told him.
.The lift?. said the American. .Oh, you mean the elevator..
.No, I mean the lift.. replied the Englishman.
.I think I should know what it is called,. said the American. .Elevators were
invented in the States..
.Perhaps,. retorted the Englishman. .But we invented the language..

*****
.I.m very sorry to learn that your wife ran away with your driver,. said the
friend to the old man.
.Oh, don.t worry, I can drive..

*****
A judge looked severely at the defendant and asked, .How many times
have you been imprisoned?.
.Nine, you Honour..
.Nine? In this case, I will give you the maximum sentence..
.Maximum sentence?. said the defendant. .Don.t you give your regular clients
a discount.

*****
One man to another. .I want to marry a smart woman, a good woman; a
woman who.ll make me happy..
.Make up your mind..

*****
The doctor had just finished giving the young man a thorough physical
examination.
.The best thing for you to do,. the doctor said, .is give up drinking and
smoking, get to bed early and stay away from women..
.Doctor, I don.t deserve the best,. said the patient. .What.s next best?.

*****
.An old man gives good advice in order to console himself for no longer being able to set a bad
example. – Le Rochefoucauld
Arather inebriated fellow on a bus was tearing up a newspaper into tiny
pieces and throwing them out the window.
.Excuse me,. said the woman sitting next to him. .But, would you mind
explaining why you.re doing this?.
.It scares away the elephants,. replied the drunk.
.But I don.t see any elephants around here,. said the woman.
.Effective, isn.t it?. crowed the drunk.
*****

The editor of a small weekly newspaper, annoyed at legislation that had
recently been passed, ran a scathing editorial under the headline: HALF OF
OUR LEGISLATORS ARE CROOKS. Many prominent local politicians were
outraged, and tremendous pressure was exerted on him to retract the statement.
He finally succumbed to the pressure and ran an apology with the headline:
HALF OF OUR LEGISLATORS ARE NOT CROOKS.

*****
After they had brought their first baby home from hospital, a young wife
suggested to her husband that he try his hand at changing diapers, .I.m busy,.
he said. .I.ll do the next one..
The next time the baby was wet, she asked if he was now ready to learn how
to change diapers. He looked puzzled. .Oh,. he replied finally. .I didn.t mean
the next diaper. I meant the next baby!.

*****
Staying at a small-town hotel, Tom ordered tea. Shortly afterwards, a girl
threw open the door. .Sugar in your tea?. she shouted.
.No, thank you,. Tom replied.
.Ah, well, don.t stir it then..
The Duke of Gloucester, speaking at a luncheon in London: .A home accidents
survey which showed that ninety percent of accidents on staircases involved
either the top or the bottom step, was fed into a computer. Asked how
accidents could be reduced, the computer answered: .Remove the top and
bottom steps…
*****

A small Indian boy appeared in the class of a London schoolteacher for the
first time and she asked him his name. .Venkataratnam Narasimha Rattaiah,.
he said. When she asked, .How do you spell it?. he replied, .My mother helps
me..
*****

A young soldier who was on a twenty four-hour pass went to a dance in
town and there met an attractive young woman. As they danced, he kept
making passes at her but without much result. Finally, he said, .Look
sweetheart, I really go for you in a big way. But I don.t have much time. I
have to be back in the morning. I.d sure like to speed like to speed things up
between us..
.But I am dancing as fast as I can,. she protested wide-eyed.
*****

A man who had just died, arrived at heaven.s gate. Before allowing him
entry, St. Peter asked him if he.d ever loved a woman.
.No,. the man replied, .Not a single one..
.Did you have a friend you cared for?.
.No..
.Perhaps you loved a pet? Did you not feel a love for nature?.
.No..
.What took you so long to get here?. asked a surprised St. Peter. .You.ve been
dead for ages..
*****

Little Ernie was having a problem with his homework.
.Dad,. he asked, .What is the difference between .anger. and .exasperation.?.
.Well, son,. said his father, .I.ll give you a practical demonstration..
His father picked up the phone and dialled a number.
.Hello,. said a voice at the other end.
.Hello,. said Ernie.s father. .Is Melvin there?.
.There is no one called Melvin here!. the voice replied. .Why don.t you look
up numbers before you dial them?.
.You see?. said Ernie.s father. .That man was not at all happy with our call.
But watch this!.
He then dialled the number again, and says, .Hello, is Melvin there?.
.Now look here!. the voice said angrily. .I told you there is no Melvin here!
You have got a lot of nerve calling again!.
.Did you hear that?. Ernie.s father asked. .That was .anger.. Now, I will show
you what .exasperation. is!.
He dialled once again. And on hearing the voice at the other end, Ernie.s
father said: .Hello! This is Melvin. Have there been any calls for me?.

*****
A poor man sat begging outside a temple. .In the name of Bhagwan give
this hungry man some money to fill his belly,. he cried. .Bhagwan will bless
you.. But the devotees gave him very little. In disgust the beggar left the
temple and sat outside a country liquor shop. .A few paise in the name of
Bhagwan,. he whined. As customers came out of the shop in high spirits,
many dropped rupee notes in his bowl. Thanking God, the beggar said: .Hey
Bhagwan, truly inscrutable are thy ways! You give one address but live in
another..

*****
Husband to wife as they emerge from a long session with a marriage guidance
counsellor: .Darling, I love you..
.There you go again,. snapped his wife. .I…I…I…again..
*****

Annoyed wife to husband: .Can.t you say we.ve been married twenty-four
years instead of .almost a quarter of a century.?.

*****
The sign on the door of a lawyer.s chamber reads: .Where there is a will,
there is a way; where there is a way, there is law; where there is law, there
is a rule; where there is a rule, there is a loophole; where there is a loophole;
there is a lawyer; and so here I am..

*****
When Paul was working as a salesman at a supermarket, he noticed that
before choosing a melon, shoppers would hold the fruit upto their ears and
knock on it. He never knew what they expected to hear. One day he asked
a shopper. .Son,. the man replied, .I.ve been doing this for forty years. All I
know is that if you just pick up a melon and put it your bag, everybody looks
at you as if you.re crazy..
*****

Little Johnny was practising the violin in the living room, while his father
was trying to read. The family dog was at there too, and, on hearing the
screeching sounds, began to howl. Johnny.s father listened to the dog and
the violin for as long as he could. Then he jumped up, slammed his newspaper
on the floor and yelled, .For God.s sake, can.t you play something the dog
doesn.t know?.

*****
An eager young man entered his prospective boss.s cabin for an interview,
Said the boss .One thing our company is very particular about is cleanliness.
I hope you wiped your shoes on the doormat while coming in?.
Yes, sir,. the young man replied promptly.
Back came the rejoinder, .One more thing we.re very particular about is
honesty. There is no doormat outside!.
*****

Sonu was saying her bedtime prayers: .Please God, make Naples the capital
of Italy. Make Naples the capital of Italy,……
.Why do you want God to make Naples the capital of Italy?. Sonu.s mother
asked.
And Sonu replied: .Because, that is what I put in my Geography exam!.
*****

A traveller walking along a road asked an old man working in a field to
how long it would take to get to the next village. But the old man didn.t
answer, so the traveller kept walking.
He hadn.t gone far when he heard a call: .Hi, mister, it.ll take you about 20
minutes..
.Why didn.t you tell me that when I asked you?. asked the traveller.
.How did I know how fast you were going to walk?. replied the old man.

*****

A teacher had just moved house with all her possessions including box
after box of books.
As the van driver put down the last box in her second-floor flat, he grumbled,
.For Heaven.s sake, lady, why didn.t you read them before you came?.
*****

Customer: .Why are the signs in your window so full of spelling and
grammatical mistakes?.
Storekeeper: .So that people will think I.m a fool and come in expecting to
get the best of me. Since I put up those signs, business has boomed..

*****
Doctor: Shall I gave your wife a local anaesthetic?.
Businessman: .Certainly not. I can afford something imported….

*****
Adoctor was called in to see a rather testy aristocrat.
.Well, sir, what.s the matter?. he asked cheerily.
.That, sir,. growled the patient, .is for you to find out..
.I see,. said the doctor thought-fully. .Well, if you.ll excuse me for an hour or
so I.ll go along and fetch a friend of mine – a veterinarian. He is the only chap
I know who can make a diagnosis without asking questions..

*****
What made you marry Daddy, Mummy?.
.So you.re beginning to wonder, too!.
*****

.Love, friendship, and respect do not unite a people as much as a common hatred of something..
- Anton Chekov
*****

The world is a comedy to those who think, a tragedy to those who feel.
- Horace Walpole
*****

.My father wants me to have everything he did not have when he was a
boy..
.What didn.t he have?.
.All .A.s on his report card..
*****

Mother: .I sent my little boy for one kilo of plums and you only sent 800
grams.
Grocer: .My scales are all right, madam. Have you weighed your little boy?.
*****

.Why do they call the language we speak our mother-tongue?. asked the
son.
.Because fathers so seldom gets a chance to use it,. replied his dad.
*****

The mother of many children lined up her family.
.The one who obeys me immediately and does exactly as he.s told without
arguing will get a rupee at the end of the week..
.It.s not fair,. said the youngest kid, bursting into tears. .Daddy.ll win easily..
*****

How.s your husband,?. Mrs. Mathur asked her friend.
.Pretty well, I think – he works so hard I see him for only about an hour each
day,.
.You poor thing,. said Mrs. Mathur.
.Oh, It.s all right, the hour soon passes..
Manager – .From your references I see you.ve had four jobs in the last
month..
Applicant – .Yes, sir, but doesn.t that shows how much in demand I am?.

*****
A salesman was dismissed because he was rude to a customer. A month
later the sales manager spotted him walking about in a police uniform.
.I see you.ve joined the force, Bhatnagar,. said the sales manager.
.Yes, Sir. This is the job I.ve been looking for all my life. Here the customer
is always wrong..
*****

A not-too-bright candidate for the police force failed in the written
examination. Since he was the Chief.s nephew, the examiner decided to go
easy on him with the oral test.
.Who shot Abraham Lincoln?., asked the examiner.
The candidate pondered for a moment and then asked if he could have
sometime to come up with the answer. The examiner told him to come back
the next morning.
When the would-be recruit went home, his wife asked, .Well, how did it go?
Did you get the job?..
.I think so,. he replied. .They have already got me working on a case..
*****

When I eventually met Mr Right, I had no idea his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner

*****
In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman.
- Margaret Thatcher
*****

Judge: .The last time I saw you, I told you that I didn.t want to see you here
again..
Accused: .That is what I tried to tell these policemen, your Honour, but they
would not believe me..

*****
What is your age?. asked the Judge. .Remember you are under oath..
.Twenty-one years and some months,. the woman answered.
.How many months?. the Judge persisted.
.One hundred and eight..

*****
.Hey,. the tourist said to the mountaineer, .Your son just threw a rock at
me as I passed by..
.Did it hit you?.
.No..
.Then it wasn.t my son..

*****
Boss : .You should have been here at 8 O.clock..
Steno : .Why, what happened?.

*****
The employee stormed angrily into the cashier.s office. .What.s the meaning
of this? I just counted my pay and it.s a dollar short!.
The cashier examined the envelope, then checked his records. .Last week
we paid you a dollar more. You didn.t complain then, did you?.
.Look. said the employee. .An occasional mistake I can overlook – but two
in a row is too much!.

*****
Two employers were talking. Said one: .I fear that young man I employed
last week as a cashier is dishonest..
.Oh,. replied the other, .you shouldn.t judge by appearances..
.I.m not. I.m judging by disappearances!.

*****
The famous film actor was being analyzed.
.Tell me,. asked the psychoanalyst, .Do you ever cheat on your wife?.
.Who else?.

*****
That.s the trouble with being greeted .Have a nice day!. it puts all the pressure on you.
- George Carlin
*****

Woman begins by resisting a man.s advances, and ends by blocking his retreat.
- Oscar Wilde
*****
You can always tell when a man is well informed. His views are pretty much like your own.
- Louis Morris

*****
Life is one long process of getting tired. – Samuel Butler

*****
The love that lasts longest is the love which is never returned. – Somerset Maugham
*****

A large notice in a shop window announced a big sale, with sweeping
reductions, starting at 9 a.m. An enormous queue had started to form by 7-30
a.m.
Just before the shop was due to open, an inconspicuous little man walked to
the head of the queue. Angry women elbowed and pushed him until he was
right at the back of the line. Undaunted, the little man went to the head of the
queue again.
Once more, he was shoved unceremoniously to the back, this time with a
few smacks on the face and a couple of thumps from umbrellas wielded by
angry women.
The little man walked to one side of the queue and said: .If that.s your
attitude, I won.t open the shop at all today!.

*****
Chemistry Teacher: .Can you give me the formula for water?.
Student: .H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-..
Chemistry Teacher: .Where did you get an idea like that?.
Student: .You told us the other day it was H to O..

*****
Teacher : .You missed school yesterday, didn.t you?.
Pupil: .Not a bit..
*****

Teacher: .Who were the first human beings?.
Pupil: .Adam and Eve..
Teacher: .And what nationality were they?.
Pupil: Indian, of course..
Teacher: .And how ho you know they were Indian?.
Pupil: .Easy. They had no roof over their heads, no clothes to wear and only
one apple between them – and they called it Paradise..

*****

Father: .Would you still love my daughter even if she were poor?.
Suitor: .Of course..
Father: .You.re no good. We don.t want fools in our family..

*****
He: .There are an awful lot of girls who don.t want to get married..
She: .How do you know?.
He: .I.ve asked them..

*****
He: .I wonder why women pay more attention to beauty than to brains..
She: .Because no matter how stupid a man is, he is seldom blind..
*****

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable persists in trying to adapt the
world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man..
- George Bernard Shaw
When a man laughs at his troubles he loses a great many friends; they never forgive the loss of
their prerogative. – H L Mencken

*****
I once knew the twenty-year-old daughter of a Hollywood film actress who
kept getting depressed because she didn.t look as young as her mother.

*****
The aging actor was trying to chat up the gorgeous young girl.
.Don.t you recognize me?. he asked. She shook her head.
.I.m quite well known in the movies,. he continued.
.Oh!. she said, her eyes lighting up. .Where do you usually sit?.

*****
The main difference between men and boys is that men.s toys cost more
money.
*****

Pretty young girl: .If I go up to your room do you promise to be good?.
Young man: .Why . I promise to be FANTASTIC!.
*****

Two astrologers met each other in the street on a particularly cold and bitter
day.
.Terrible winter we.re having,. muttered one.
.Yes,. replied the other. .It reminds me of the winter of 2057..
*****

A tea manufacturer wanted a new advertising gimmick, so the senior creative
man at the advertising agency decided to go to Rome to see if he could
persuade the Pope to make a TV commercial.
.We.ll give you one hundred thousand pounds for a ten second commercial,.
the ad man told the pontiff. All you have say is: .Give us this day our daily
tea…
.I.m sorry,. replied the Pope, .but I can.t do that..
.Five hundred thousand,. offered the adman.
.I.m afraid not,. said the Pope, solemnly.
.All right. One million pounds. And that.s our very last offer..
But still the Pope refused. On his way back, disappointed adman turned to
his secretary and said: .It.s odd that the Pope refused to do a commercial for
tea. I wonder how much the bread people are giving him..
*****

The proud mother was showing off her new baby to her friend. .Doesn.t he
look just like his father?. asked the mother.
.Yes,. replied the friend. .But I shouldn.t worry too much . he.ll probably
change for the better as he gets older..
*****

If an artist becomes angry does he lose his temperas?

*****
Women want mediocre men, and men are working hard to be as mediocre as possible.
- Margaret Mead
*****

Let no one suppose the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact they are
employer and employee. – George Bernard Shaw

*****
History teaches us that men and nations live wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.
- Abba Eban
*****

The elderly aunt bent down and asked her three-year-old nephew: .Can
you tell me the name of your new baby sister?.
The little boy shook his head sadly and replied: .I don.t know what it is. I
keep asking her but I can.t understand a word she says..

*****

My wife.s best friend has just celebrated the twentieth anniversary of her
twenty-ninth birthday.
*****

Customer: .I.d like to buy a novel, please..
Bookshop assistant: .Certainly, madam. Do you have the title or name of the
author?.
Customer: .Not really. I was hoping you could suggest something suitable..
Bookshop assistant: .No problem. Do you like light or heavy reading?.
Customer: .It doesn.t matter. I.ve left the car just outside the shop..

*****
Office worker: Sir?.
Boss: .Yes? What is it now?.
Office worker: .Please can I have a day off next week to do some late
Christmas shopping with my wife and our six kids?.
Boss: .Certainly not!.
Office worker: .I knew you.d be understanding, sir. Thanks for getting me
out of that terrible chore..
*****

At the company board meeting the chairman rose to make his speech.
.Who.s been carrying on with my secretary?. he demanded.
This was met with silence. .All right, then,. said the chairman, .put it this way
. who has not been carrying on with my secretary?.
Again there was silence, and then one man said, self-consciously: .Me, sir..
.Right,. said the Chairman. .You sack her..
*****

One day Claude came home from work to find his wife painting one side
of the car blue. She.d divided the car neatly in half and had already painted
the other side bright yellow.
.What on earth are you doing?. asked Claude.
.Simple!. she replied. .You know I.ve had so many accidents and I always get
caught due to the statements of the witnesses in court. Now, if I have an
accident, you watch them fight it out trying to decide what colour car caused
the accident!.

*****
Mother: .Why are you crying?.
Sally: .Because I fell and hurt myself..
Mother: .When did that happen?.
Sally: .About twenty minutes ago..
Mother: .But you.ve only just started crying..
Sally: .I know. Earlier, I thought you.d gone out..
*****

That.s a nice suit you.re wearing . who went for the fitting?.

*****
Judge: .How do you plead? Guilty or not guilty?.
Prisoner: .How do I know, your honour? I haven.t heard the evidence yet..
*****

Bacteria: the back entrance to a cafeteria.

*****
Buoyant: male equivalent of gallant.
*****

Dogma: the mother of puppies.
*****

Ultimate: the last person to marry.
*****

Vice versa: dirty poems.
*****

Doctor: .Nurse! Did you take this patient.s temperature?.
Nurse: .Why, doctor? Is it missing?.
*****

Teacher: .Everything you do is wrong. How can you expect to get a job
when you leave school.
Pupil: .Well, sir! I.m going to be a TV weatherman.

*****
Pretty young nurse: .Doctor, every time I take this young man.s pulse it gets
faster. Should I give him a sedative?.
Doctor: .No. Just give him a blindfold..

*****
Patient: .Doctor, do you think that I will live until I.m a hundred?.
Doctor: .Do you smoke or drink?.
Patient: .No..
Doctor: .Do you drive fast cars, gamble, or play around with women?.
Patient: .Certainly not!.
Doctor: .Then what do you want to live to a hundred for?.

*****
Doctor.s wife: .Why are you looking so worried, dear?.
Doctor: .I think I.ve at last cured that Smith fellow..
Doctor.s wife: .So why are you so worried?.
Doctor: .I.ve given him so many pills and potions I can.t work out which one
worked..

*****

Estate agent to young house-hunting couple: .First you tell me what you
can afford. Then we.ll have a good laugh about it and go on from there..

*****
Is a drunken ghost a methylated spirit?

*****
Mr Bloggs: .Darling, I don.t know what you put in this soup, but it tastes
like dishwater..
Mrs Bloggs: .How do you know?.
*****

.Mummy, Mummy! Where are you?. cried the little boy on the promenade.
.You poor little boy,. said an elderly lady. .Come with me and I.ll get you an
ice cream and then we.ll go and look for your mummy..
.I know where your mummy is,. said a small girl.
.Shush!. whispered the little boy. .I know where she is, too, but I.ve managed
to get two free ice creams this morning, and I want a third!.

*****
The frantic-looking lady came rushing out of her house into the street and
cried: .Help! Help! My young son has swallowed a coin and is choking. I
don.t know what to do!.
Everyone looked the other way, except for a middle-aged gentleman who
rushed into the lady.s house, found her young son, turned him upside down
and shook him until the coin fell out of his mouth.
.Oh, thank you!. cried the lady. .Are you a doctor?.
.No madam,. replied the middle-aged man. .I.m from the Income Tax
Department..
Insurance salesman: .Surely your husband needs more life insurance? I mean,
if your husband suddenly dropped dead, what would you do?.
Mrs Smith: .I.d probably get a pet dog instead..

*****
The young man walked into the pet shop and asked if he could buy 387
beetles, 18 rats and five mice.
.I.m sorry, sir, but we can only supply the mice. But what did you want all
the other creatures for?. asked the pet shop manager.
.I was thrown out of my flat this morning,. replied the young man. .And my
landlord says I must leave the place exactly as I found it..

*****

Fred at last could see a way of making a fortune. He had trained his parrot,
after month of hard work, to tell jokes.
At last he felt ready to cash in on all his hard work, and took the parrot down
to his pub.
.This is my incredible joke-telling parrot,. boasted Fred.
.Go on ,. jeered the pub regulars. .We.ll give you ten to one that your parrot
can.t tell us a joke..
.All right,. replied Fred. .I accept your bet..
But try as he could, Fred was unable to make the parrot talk . let alone tell
jokes.
On the way home Fred shook the bird and shouted: .What do you mean by
keeping quiet? You made me lose a ten to one bet!.
.Don.t worry!. squawked the parrot. .Tomorrow you.ll be able to get fifty to
one..

*****
Hilary: .You.re the first man I.ve ever said .yes. to. In fact, I.ve said .no. to
lots and lots of men..
Herbert: .What were they selling?.
*****

The police car, its siren blaring, raced in front of a speeding car and forced
it to stop.
A heavily built policeman got out and walked over.
.You name, please?. asked the policeman, taking out his notebook and pen.
.Certainly, officer,. replied the driver. .It.s Horatio Xerxes Laertes Idomeneus
Aeneas Asclepius Iphicles Menoeceus Memnon Philoctetes Tyndareus Hylas..
The policeman thought for a moment, then looked at his notebook, shook
his head and said: .I.ll just give you a warning this time . don.t break the
speed limit again..
*****

A lifelong Socialist was dying when he suddenly decided to join the Tory
party.
.But why?. asked his puzzled friends. .You.ve been a staunch Socialist all your
life..
.Well, he replied, .I.d rather it was a Tory that died than a Socialist..
*****

If a plug would not fit, would you socket?

*****
Customer: .Waiter! How much longer do you expect me to have to wait for
my poached salmon?.
Waiter: .I.m sorry, sir, but we are trying to hurry it up for you..
Customer: .Then can you assure me that you.re using the right bait?.

*****
.Get up,. shouted Albert.s mother. .You.ll be late for school..
.But I don.t want to go,. protested Albert. .All the kids are horrible, the teachers
are terrible, and it.s all extremely boring. I want to stay home..
.But,. replied Albert.s mother, .you.re forty-three and the headmaster of the
school..

*****
Teacher: .Mavis, can you tell me which month is the shortest?.
Mavis: .It.s May, miss..
Teacher: .No, it isn.t. The shortest month is February..
Mavis: .But, miss, February has eight letters in it while May only has three!.
*****

You can get a lot more done with a kind word and gun, than you can with a kind word alone.
- Al Capone

*****
Wealth is like sea water; the more we drink, the thirstier we become; the same is true of fame.
- Schopenhauer

11 digit mobile nos. knocking down by '10

2009-12-03T19:36:00.003+05:30

Do have problem remembering 10 digit mobile numbers. Then get ready for another digit because 2010 comes with 11 digit mobile numbers.
Come January and all mobile phone users will -digit mobile numbers instead of their 10-digit numbers currently.

The Department of Telecommunications (DoT) has amended the National Numbering Plan 2003 for migration to an 11-digit numbering plan in mobile services by prefixing the number ‘9’ to the existing two-digit PLMN Access Code.

A PLMN is identified by the Mobile Country Code (MCC) and the Mobile Network Code (MNC). Every service provider has its own PLMN, which interconnects with other PLMNs and public switched telephone networks (PSTNs) for telephone communications, or with internet service providers for data and internet access.

The proposed migration from the existing 10-digit number to an 11-digit numbering plan is likely to be implemented from January 1, 2010, according to an internal DoT note.

With India adding over 10-14 million mobile subscribers each month, the wireless subscriber base has already crossed 500 million, a year ahead of the target. Therefore, DoT has to re-examine plans to accommodate more subscribers.

This is not the first time phone numbers will be modified. A few years ago, the government had prefixed the number ‘2’ to all BSNL and MTNL fixed-line phones across the country to accommodate more connections.

MyTh or TrUtH : BAJAJ 350cc & 550cc

2009-11-15T00:57:00.017+05:30

Sources tell that the company is half way through the development of a 350cc Pulsar scheduled for 2011-12. The new motorcycle would come with a liquid cooled engine, and the engineers are finding it hard to design a proper cooling system, which is inevitable for this high capacity engine.

Bajaj engineers are using an oil cooled system as it would occupy lesser space than water cooled setup. Moreover, the oil cooled system would be more efficient with heat transfer and weigh lesser, aiding handling and acceleration of the bike. The Pulsar 220 employs an oil cooler, and the company is likely to take the same route with this bigger motorcycle.

Some say that they will never launch 350cc pulsar or 550cc pulsar because on higher capacity bikes, they are working together with Kawasaki.. so new higher cubic bikes will be collaboration of Kawasaki and Bajaj together.

CoNcLuTiOn

Bajaj pulsar 300 is being a big story over net. People are being crazy to see this as the best bike in india so far..
But to a little disappointment i would like to share what i know..
The fact is that Bajaj keeps on modifying and upgrading the pulsar.. as it started with 150 >>180 >>dts-i >> 200>> dts-fi220>> dts-i 220 (about to hit the market). This always keep bike-lovers keep on waiting for whats going to be next.

But Bajaj pulsar 300 what we seeing over the internet is a work of photoshop thats being done over the HONDA cb-600f hornet.

So guys chill and lets wait for the official announcements if bajaj makes sometimes about its further launches..

But keep yourself keen to check out the comming 220dts-i for its going to be more faster and more cheaper. Yes you heard it right its going to be more faster 0-60 and 0-100 more quickly than any other pulsars and its going to be Rs 10,000 cheaper than 220dts-fi..

Angelina Jolie to adopt another baby?

2009-11-13T08:46:00.003+05:30

Hollywood actress Angelina Jolie is reportedly planning to adopt a baby from Asia despite the fact that her partner Brad Pitt is not so keen about the idea.

The Oscar-winning actress, who already has three adopted kids and three biological children with partner Brad Pitt, has reportedly started the process to bring home a baby girl from an Asian country.

Though Pitt isn't keen about the idea, an undeterred Jolie has begun the proceedings on her own.

"He has made it clear that six children are more than he can handle. The idea of one more seemed ludicrous, but Jolie is determined to complete her rainbow family," said a source close to the actor.

Counter-Strike - Weapon De-briefing

2009-11-01T20:25:00.005+05:30

How important is it to know your weapons in Counter-Strike? Very.

The following is a guide to each weapon in the game as well as a little info about the pros and cons of each. It's written purely by my experience (vast, honest!), so if you are expecting scientific terms and research, this won't be it. However, if you're looking for advice on choosing a weapon this is the place to get some.

» Pistols
» Shotguns
» Sub-machine guns
» Assault rifles
» Sniper rifles
» Machine guns
» Grenades

Melee & Pistols

Knife

Obviously, the knife is never a serious option to go into battle with. But nevertheless, it can come in handy when you least expect it...right in the heat of battle. If you and your opponent get into some close quarters battle (and you both need aiming lessons), you may occasionally find that both your primary gun and your pistol clips emtpy, leaving you two options...reload or knife!

USP .45

This is the pistol that the CTs start the round with automatically, and it's widely regarded as the best pistol available, even above the Desert Eagle in some people's eyes (mine included). This is a pretty accurate gun on the whole, and can also pack a punch when you aim it well. One or two shots to the head and your opponent won't have much of a chance. The secondary function for this gun is a silencer which can come in very handy.

Glock18

This is the default T pistol for the Terrorists, and they could do worse than ditch it for a USP or a Desert Eagle. This is what puts the Ts at a bit of a disadvantage at the start of a match. It's a pretty weak gun and although it does have a big clip (20) for you to play with, it just won't cut it in a pistol fight generally...

Desert Eagle

The most powerful pistol in the game, this gun is normally the option that most people who buy a pistol in the first round go for (to replace the Glock18?). It's the only pistol that is able to penetrate walls, crates, doors and the like. It also has pretty good accuracy, the only downfall being the 7 bullet clip, which doesn't last long at all. Hand Cannon, to sum it up.

Dual Beretta Elites

These are by far the most innacurate pistols available and I can't really justify spending $1000 on them. Each gun holds 15 bullets in the clip, meaning 30 total which is handy, but I guess you'll need it when these guns are as weak as they are. It'll take a good few shots to take out your opponent, unless you're lucky/good and land headshots.

Five Seven

Another decent pistol for the CTs, this time in the shape of the 20 round clip of the 5-7. It isn't as strong as some pistols but it's not weak either, and in terms of accuracy it's very good.

CT only, and again an under-used pistol, I suspect because of the better alternatives. Since it was added into the game I've seen mixed responses about this gun, but in my opinion it's a decent sidearm.

Shotguns

M3 Super

This is the cheapest of the two shotguns available, and deservedly so. If you're intent on being top of the score boards this just isn't the gun to do it with...it's got a pretty slow reload and rate of fire meaning that if the action is coming thick and fast, you probably won't last with only 8 rounds in the clip.

XM1014

If you want a shotgun, this is the one to go for....if you have the $3000 to spare. It only has a 7 round clip which empties very fast, so you'll have to be a dab hand with it but other than that it's a very good gun. Again, it's quite powerful but this time the rate of fire is more sufficient when you need to clear out an enclosed space. This is a good gun for any small, enclosed maps but it's not to be used over any great distance, obviously.

Sub-Machine Guns

MP5

This is the most commonly used of all sub-machine guns by far, and probably the most used gun in the game. It's a very reliable gun with good accuracy and power. If you can aim well then the MP5 will be a good gun for you, if you can't use the mp5....well...learn!

TMP

This is like the sub-machine gun version of the glock 18; it has a good rate of fire but is very weak, the weakest of all SMGs infact. Again the clip size is 30, but that doesn't help much either when you look at the accuracy of this gun. It's very shoddy and the recoil for such a small gun is terrible.

P90

A decent SMG, this used to be the most used gun in the game...until the CS team toned it down a bit because it was being over used. It was extremely accurate and powerful making it extremely easy to use. Now, however, it takes alot more skill to use the P90 as it's less powerful and much less accurate than before. Probably best used in close quarters battle this gun has a very nice rate of fire, and a massive 50 bullet clip, meaning you'll still be firing away while an opponent reloads his MP5.

Mac 10

This is yet another gun that doesn't get used very often in CS, in comparison with other guns. It's ok in the rate of fire department, and holds up in the power area, but accuracy is where it falls down....badly! The accuracy on this gun makes it worth saving the money for the next round, death is imminent regardless.

UMP

This gun has a slow rate of fire and only 25 rounds per clip, meaning that some people tend to steer clear of it where possible. It does, however, pack in some nice accuracy and a fair amount of power...in the right hands, this can be a very decent gun.

Assault Rifles

AK47

Here we have one of the most popular guns around, people either love it or hate it, but the great majority tend to react favourably when you bring up the topic of the AK. It is the least expensive rifle in the game at only $2500 definitely a bargain, especially when you consider that it's the most powerful assault rifle as well as having 30 bullets in the clip.

So why so cheap? well, I didn't mention the recoil yet....on full auto this gun is about as inaccurate as they come. Only upon mastering how to use this gun will you appreciate how good it is. In close quarters battle it is superb, it's powerful, good rate of fire and on full auto you can empty a small space very quickly.

SG552 Commando

Much like the AK47, this gun is good in both CQB and long range scenarios, but it tends to be a lot more accurate when using burst fire obviously. It is less powerful than the AK but comes with a built in scope to assist you in long range fights. When you're zoomed in the rate of fire does drop noticably but accuracy is helped which is what you want from range.

Colt M4A1

The favourite gun of the CT masses, the colt is a great gun and is more often than not likely to be compared with the AK rather than the Commando. It's the cheapest of the two CT assault rifles and represents more value for money than it's CT counterpart, the Aug. It has a 30 round clip and is also pretty darn powerful.

Steyr Aug

This gun is very popular, like all assault rifles, and is the CT equivalent of the SG552 Commando. It is more expensive than the Colt, which is probably mainly down to it having an additional scope for you to use.

Sniper Rifles

Scout

The poor man's sniper rifle, not really, but if you are low on cash this sniper rifle probably won't be out of your reach ($2750). One scout bullet can do a lot of damage on an unsuspecting victim on the other side of a map, but it can just as easily kill them if you get a headshot.....if not, two body shots should do the same job. It has two zoom functions as secondary fire, just to make it that little bit easier.

AWM/P

There are endless debates about this gun as so many people love it, yet so many people hate it and of course, lots couldnt care. It used to the case that one shot anywhere on the body would be a kill, until it was toned down so that a leg/arm shot wouldn't kill anymore. That's still an ok deal in my opinion though, under $5000 for a gun that will kill if you can hit your opponent's head or chest area.

G3/SG1

I'm not a fan of this gun at all, and I don't think most of the CS players are either as it's widely under used. Considering this gun has two zoom functions and costs a small fortune ($5000), you'd think it would have good accuracy.....wrong. It seems ok at times but too often you'll end up dead thinking 'wait a minute, I should've hit him 6 times at least!'.

SG550

Much like the G3, this gun is pretty rarely seen in CS. It basically functions like the G3 but is CT only, is cheaper and is also less powerful.

I'm not convinced with this type of gun, it's not ideal for sniping yet it's certainly no good close up and for the money you pay you won't get very much longevity in return, as you'll be dead soon enough if you hold onto this gun

Machine Guns

Para

One word that could describe this gun in my opinion is 'fun'. It's not a particularly good gun, although you may be lead to think so by the price ($5750). Generally you won't see many paras in game either, until it gets to a stage where teams have more money than they need and they're dominating. The next step in the cycle is to pull out the paras and have some fun.

It has a massive 100 round clip, which is more than enough for any situation, and is pretty good in the power area. It does fall down slightly on the rate of fire and reload times but that's to be expected.

Grenades

High Explosive (HE)

These are excellent additions to any player's arsenal of weapons (one is maximum you can carry), if possible I try to buy one every round just for the initial damage factor. If you are about to go into the heat of battle, what better to weaken your opponent than a well timed High Explosive grenade. If you're lucky/skilled then he can be below 50 health before you even see him, meaning you're in with a great chance of winning any battle and you haven't even fired a bullet yet.

Flashbang (FB)

Again, I try to buy at least one of these per round (2 is maximum), as theyre great when attacking or even when you're retreating. On the attack there's nothing better to throw one into a room/tunnel and burst through only to find an opponent who is facing the wall, spraying his gun and hasn't got a clue where you are.......talk about easy kill.

Smoke Grenade (SG)

The least used grenade of the 3 available, but still very handy in certain situations. One of the most common uses for these grens is obviously for covering purposes, especially against snipers. A sniper may be blocking a route you need to cross in order to penetrate a bomb spot/hostage room.....a quick smoke grenade in his view should buy the time needed to make the dash across his scope view.

2009-10-28T04:01:00.002+05:30

December 21, 2012: the end date of the sophisticated Long Count Calendar created by the ancient Maya in Central America. Countless books and websites, magazine articles and newspaper headlines debate its meaning, with enthusiasts in two camps: those forecasting apocalypse–the end of time–and those who see a coming renewal, a rebirth of consciousness.
Adding fuel to the debate, some scientists see the increasing number of natural disasters in recent years as evidence of a catastrophic climax of events in 2012. How much of what we're hearing is science and how much is superstition? In this film the leading researchers, writers and scientists in the field tell us exactly what this date means to them, why it's important, and what we should expect.

Featured in the film are

Graham Hancock,
John Major Jenkins,
Daniel Pinchbeck,
Alberto Villoldo,
Anthony Aveni,
Robert Bauval,
Jim Marrs,
Walter Cruttenden,
Lawrence E. Joseph,
Alonso Mendez,
Douglas Rushkoff,
John Anthony West and
Benito Vegas Duran.

MODERN WARFARE

2009-10-28T03:09:00.010+05:30

This is a list of all weapons that have been identified in official media for Modern Warfare 2. Definite means that it has been seen clearly in an actual screenshot or video. take a look at the various photos that have been released from the Game Informer Magazine.

Modern Warfare 2 Weapon List

AK-103 (or some other modernized AK-47 variant, definite, seen with either red dot sight or ACOG)

AUG (definite, seen with scope)

Desert Eagle (definite, seen with a laser and/or flashlight attachment)

Dragunov (definite, seen with sniper scope)

F2000 (definite, seen with an under slung shotgun)

FA MAS (definite, seen with red dot sight)

UMP (definite, seen with red dot sight)

Glock 22 (or some other Glock variant, definite)

KRISS Super V Vector SMG (definite, seen with no attachment and possibly seen with suppressor)

M16 (or some other AR-15 variant with a solid stock, seen on cover art, highly probable, seen with a red dot sight)

RPD (definite)

M21 (highly prop able, seen with sniper scope)

M1014 (highly probable)

M1911 (definite)

M4 (or some other AR-15 variant with a sliding stock, definite, seen with just a suppressor in one part, ACOG and Grenade Launcher together in another)

M249 SAW (definite)

Shield (definite, will be a Perk in multi player)

Skorpion vz. 61 (definite, seen with red dot, can be used while using shield)

Protecta Striker (definite)

Knife (definite, will be used differently than in COD4)

Remington 870 (or a very similar shotgun, definite)

I was harassed for no reason: SRK

2009-08-15T22:17:00.005+05:30

Mumbai/Newark, Aug 15 : After being detained for two hours at the Newark Airport in the US Saturday morning, Bollywood superstar Shah Rukh Khan said he was ‘harassed for no reason’.

“It was in Newark where I was detained for questioning. It was because they said my name was common to some name that popped up on the computer. I told them I am a movie star and had recently visited the country for the shooting for a film.

They kept on asking me silly questions like if I knew someone in the US who could vouch for me, if I could give them numbers of people they could get in touch with,” Khan told reporters.

“I had all the documents; they were asking me where I was going to be staying. I gave the name of FOX people with whom I had finalised a deal a few days ago as contacts. I kept on giving numbers. They wanted to know why I came here…I felt bad, angry…I was harassed for no reason,” he said.

Khan said the officers wanted to check his baggage but since it had not arrived, he was taken to a room where other people were also waiting for a second check on their visa.

“I was taken to a room where many people were awaiting a secondary check on visa, most were Asians. In fact many officers were reluctantly vouching for me, some people were asking for autographs and a Pakistani fan even said he knew who I was. But the officers said it was procedure and kept taking numbers from me. They told me you can’t use the phone in this area. I sent a message home and to my secretary and Congress MP Rajiv Shukla. It took almost two hours. However, they did not take my fingerprints,” he told CNN-IBN.

Khan was detained at the airport for about two hours before the Indian mission intervened and secured his release.

Khan was heading for Chicago to attend Independence Day celebrations along with Bollywood celebrities Saif Ali Khan, Katrina Kaif and Bipasha Basu.

Swine Flu prevention

2009-08-14T19:22:00.004+05:30

This A(H1N1) virus is spread from person-to-person. It is transmitted as easily as the normal seasonal flu and can be passed to other people by exposure to infected droplets expelled by coughing or sneezing that can be inhaled, or that can contaminate hands or surfaces.

There are no known instances of people getting infected by exposure to pigs or other animals.

Signs of influenza A(H1N1) are flu-like, including fever, cough, headache, muscle and joint pain, sore throat and runny nose, and sometimes vomiting and diarrhoea.

Preventive measures

avoid touching your mouth and nose;
clean hands thoroughly with soap and water, or cleanse them with an alcohol-based hand rub on a regular basis (especially if touching the mouth and nose, or surfaces that are potentially contaminated);
avoid close contact with people who might be ill;
reduce the time spent in crowded settings if possible;
improve airflow in your living space by opening windows;
practise good health habits including adequate sleep, eating nutritious food, and keeping physically active.

There is no effective vaccine at present. It will take another 6 - 7 months for making a completely new vaccine for swine flu

Nokia Xpress Music Phones: Ideal for Fun and Music Lovers

2009-08-14T05:58:00.003+05:30

The Nokia has launched many handsets since it has been introduced in the market. But the music edition mobile phones have come with some advanced music features which are very handy for the music lovers.

There are many Nokia Xpress Music Phones such as Nokia 5030 Xpress Music, Nokia 5320 Xpress Music, Nokia 5330 Xpress Music, Nokia 5730 Xpress Music and Nokia 5800 Xpress Music etc. These handsets have many unique features including the music edition and gorgeous look. The Nokia 5320 Xpress Music is a highly advanced 3G smart phone. The handset has come with two colour option which includes a bright blue option and bright red option. The device has a GPS navigation receiver which enables the user to find out the way while travelling through the unknown places.

The gadget helps an individual to transfer data from this to the other devices via Bluetooth and USB connector. The main feature on this fabulous phone is its integrated music player which is completed with all user friendly music futures & high quality sound. The music player allows the user to play music in different popular formats such as MP3, M4A, AAC, WMA and eAAC+. The FM radio with RDS enables to listen to music, chit chat show and update news by switching to the different radio channels.

The Nokia 5800 Xpress Music is highly advanced mobile phones. This is a Nokia Xpress Music Phone which has a come with a 3.2 inches touch screen which comes with stylus & finger screen control. The screen displays 16 million colours, photos and videos including wallpapers and screensavers etc. This stylish music phone is built in FM radio with RDS radio feature which allows the user to enjoy listening to music and have a complete experience of mobile radio by switching to the various radio channels.

The Nokia Xpress Music Mobile Phone is Nokia 5730 which is beautifully designed with many stunning features and gorgeous look. The handset has weighs 109 grams and it measures 111 mm tall by 51.7 mm wide by 15.5 mm deep. The well fitted rechargeable battery which when fully charged allows the user to enjoy 8 hours GSM talk time and 406 hours GSM stand by time. The 3.2 megapixel camera comes with Carl Zeiss Optics, 3 x Digital Zoom, Dual LED Flash and Auto Focus which allow an individual to capture images and record videos.

The Music player plays music in different popular formats. The music player consists of 8 Band graphic equalizer, Bass booster, and stereo widening etc which help the user to enjoy and have fun while listening to their favorite music. Hope that Nokia will make these kinds of handset in future too. So that the user can have more fun efficiently.

Tere Sang

2009-08-12T23:30:00.004+05:30

Cast: Ruslaan Mumtaaz, Sheena Shahabadi, Satish Kaushsik, Rajat Kapoor, Sushmita Mukerjee, Neena Gupta, Anupam Kher

Director: Satish Kaushik

Fifteen year old Mahi (Sheena) is going to be a mommy, and seventeen year old Kukoo aka Kabir (Ruslaan) a daddy. The central idea has been stolen from ‘Juno’, bittersweet indie Hollywood hit about teenage pregnancy and parenthood and responsibility. If only Satish Kaushik had retained more of the honesty of the original, ‘Tere Sang’ would have been a revolutionary Hindi film.

Even if the conception is less than immaculate, it’s lumped on too much champagne: it’s a starry night, the ‘kidults’ are in a camp, they get high and they do the thing – the camera stays decorously out of the tent, all we see are shadows merging. The same confusion colours the film: should it present the first pair of teenage Indian kids who have sex, with the girl pushing, and the boy pulling? Or should it soft-soap everything?

The words ‘pregnancy’ and ‘abortion’ are mentioned only for form’s sake. No consequences are explored, and a terrific opportunity to say something relevant on such an important issue is lost.

Kaushik cops out majorly. Mahi is like that—attention-seeking, looking-for-love-- only because she gets no attention from her ever-busy parents (Rajat and Neena), not because she is a hormonally-charged fifteen-going-on-sixteen willing lass.

Instead of throwing up his hands, Kabir is determined to take care of his baby, and will do anything-- from hauling bricks to gas cylinders-- to make ends meet while on an idyllic retreat to a hilly cottage. The parents are against them, so the only option is to run away.

In the most improbable twist of all the improbable twists in the film, Mahi’s outraged father is forced into defending his daughter in court. ‘Yeh sab sirf meri galati hai’, he says piously, as the judge (Anupam Kher) looks on in befuddlement.

Really? And me always thought it took two.

BCCI vs WADA is a heart vs head issue

2009-08-12T22:35:00.000+05:30

A day after the BCCI backed its players with the whereabouts clause and refused to sign the dotted line, it has said that it will suggest to the cricket's apex body, the ICC, to give up on World Anti Doping Association (WADA) code of conduct for anti-doping and form one of its own for the member bodies to follow. This came on the day when the no solution could be found out to the contentious clause in the contract to be signed with WADA, which had said that the Indian cricketers needed to disclose their whereabouts on a daily basis, three months in advance.

The Indian cricketers had refused to sign the contract because they thought that this clause would compromise on their security and also breached their private life. The cricketers had agreed to getting their testing done during the ICC events like the World Cup or the Champions Trophy, or during bilateral events like a series against another team, or even during practice sessions, but they refused to give out the details of their whereabouts during the break.

The BCCI had proposed that instead of the contentious clause getting applied, the BCCI could be approached if the players had to be tested during the break period and the player could be made available within 24 hours of that; however, the proposal is said to be refused by the WADA, who say that no exemption of any sort will be provided to any of its member bodies.

BCCI chief, Shashank Manohar said, "We believe the clause with regard to whereabouts of cricketers is unreasonable for three reasons. Firstly, some Indian cricketers have security cover, and when you have a security cover, you cannot disclose your whereabouts to a third person. Secondly, the privacy of individuals cannot be invaded. Third, the constitution of India gives a guarantee to every citizen regarding his privacy which cannot be invaded. We can appreciate players being tested even when they are not playing. But if ICC or WADA want to test the players, they can inform the board which will get the players at the required location within 24 hours. This is our suggestion"

Earlier, there had been other cricketers from the other countries, who had expressed issues with the privacy, but then had had signed the dotted line before the deadline of 31st July. However, with the BCCI backing out, the FICA has said that other cricket boards will also want to follow suit and the ICC may have to think of alternatives. However, if the WADA-ICC deal does not go through, then it could mean that cricket will not be allowed as an Olympic sport by the WADA, and thus reducing the chances of spreading the game through the world.

Swine Flu with Symptoms

2009-08-12T22:27:00.000+05:30

Although the name 'swine flu' brings up a lot of extra fear and worry, it is important to note that swine flu is just an influenza A H1N1 virus.

That means that it is just another type of flu virus, just like that causes our typical seasonal flu symptoms. The big difference is that the current swine influenza A (H1N1) virus has components of pig and bird influenza viruses in it, so that humans don't have any immunity to it. That is what made it more likely that it would become a pandemic virus (have the ability to cause a global outbreak) because it could easily spread from person-to-person.

So far, even as you see swine flu cases increase on this swine flu map, experts don't know if this swine influenza A (H1N1) virus will return in the fall for another wave. It could or we just continue to see sporadic cases for a few weeks or months until it stops.

We do know that swine flu symptoms are just like seasonal flu symptoms.

Serious Swine Flu Symptoms

More serious symptoms that would indicate that a child with swine flu would need urgent medical attention include:

Fast breathing or trouble breathing
Bluish or gray skin color
Not drinking enough fluids
Severe or persistent vomiting
Not waking up or not interacting
Being so irritable that the child does not want to be held
Flu-like symptoms improve but then return with fever and worse cough

What You Need To Know

Swine flu likely spreads by direct contact with respiratory secretions of someone that is sick with swine flu, like if they were coughing and sneezing close to you.
People with swine flu are likely contagious for one day before and up to seven days after they began to get sick with swine flu symptoms.
Droplets from a cough or sneeze can also contaminate surfaces, such as a doorknob, drinking glass, or kitchen counter, although these germs likely don't survive for more than a few hours.
Anti-flu medications, including Tamiflu (oseltamivir) and Relenza (zanamivir), are available to prevent and treat swine flu.
The latest swine flu news from the CDC includes advice that children should not attend summer camps if they have had swine flu symptoms in the previous seven days and that camp staff should be quick to identify campers with swine flu symptoms and separate them from well campers.

Swine Flu Symptoms

According to the CDC, like seasonal flu, symptoms of swine flu infections can include:

fever, which is usually high, but unlike seasonal flu, is sometimes absent
cough
runny nose or stuffy nose
sore throat
body aches
headache
chills
fatigue or tiredness, which can be extreme
diarrhea and vomiting, sometimes, but more commonly seen than with seasonal flu

Signs of a more serious swine flu infection might include pneumonia and respiratory failure.

If your child has symptoms of swine flu, you should avoid other people and call your pediatrician who might do a rapid flu test to see if he has an influenza A infection. Further testing can then be done to see if it is a swine flu infection. (Samples can be sent to local and state health departments and the CDC for confirmation of swine flu, especially if a child is in the hospital.)