Bohemianization Fetish

Some gorgeous strap on harnesses

noreply@blogger.com (Madeira Darling) — Thu, 14 Jul 2011 10:02:00 +0000

noreply@blogger.com (Madeira Darling) — Fri, 10 Sep 2010 21:49:00 +0000

Sex toys I picked up today... yeah

My favorite responses to pick up lines

noreply@blogger.com (Madeira Darling) — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 00:59:00 +0000

Dude: (noticing I'm eating a popsicle and that popsicles are phallic) Mmm, yeah that's hot, baby. Can I have a bite?

Me: ...you can either notice it looks like a dick, or ask for a bite, doing both just makes you look gay.

Fat Dude: Can I take you out some time?

Me: My legs don't spread that wide.

Dude: So... can we go out sometime?

Me: ...you're not David Bowie, so no.

Dude: Can I go out with you?

Me: I'm a dyke

Dude: How can you be sure? Have you ever been with a guy?

Me: Have you ever been with a guy?

Dude: So how about I take you out?

Me: I only date pre-operative asian transsexuals.

Dude: Can I have your number?

Me: 8 (allow for lengthy pause and turn away)

Dude: So, do you have a boyfriend?

Me: Yes, her name is Vonka.

Dude: (at me and my girlfriend) Damn, what a waste.

Me: We're very efficient actually, I've had 56 orgasms today.

Dude: So why aren't you married?

Me: Because this state doesn't have same-sex marriage.

Is That What They're Calling It Now Days?

noreply@blogger.com (Madeira Darling) — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 15:31:00 +0000

The Ropes

noreply@blogger.com (Madeira Darling) — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 15:07:00 +0000

If you've never heard The Ropes you're in for a treat. Their spare post punk instrumentation and the elfin vocalist Sharon's voice that is a perfect mixture of husky rock chanteuse and haunting lullabye.

Her lyrics are witty, bitter and dark and yet there's always some trace of lingering idealism, lingering hope for humanity. In combination all of this makes them a fascinating listen.

Their material ranges between angry-catchy anthem "Kill Her Off" to "Cry to The Beat" which is the most danceable expression of soul crushing depression I've heard in a long time, to the beautiful quiet desperation of "I Don't Like To Get Dirty" and so much further.

They're an honest self portrait of modern dysfunction, un-romanticized yet somehow utterly relatable and human, and utterly authentic. In a world where the entire media pretends to be miserable to sell better this is a rarity, and somehow real venom and real pain are refreshing against a musical landscape of melodramatic posturing. Sharon is completely painfully self-aware without being self conscious, and she manages to turn her mental landscape into something glorious, something witty without ever seeming to be trying too hard or losing the raw truth behind it.

Dirty Minded Romance: A playlist

noreply@blogger.com (Madeira Darling) — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 11:59:00 +0000

So here's my play list for now

Peaches: You Love it When I'm Bad

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ao3pEcoQlMY

Joan Jett: A.C.D.C.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yVlcAJFTPRo

World/Inferno Friendship Society: Only Anarchists Are Pretty http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0XfNy5XI-A

Joan Jett: Be My Lover

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfteOmgIYg8

The Cramps: Like a Bad Girl Should

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qd2M9ynQb5k

Iggy Pop & David Bowie: The Passenger

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SESbd8Fm2JE

Iggy Pop: Lust for Life

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQvUBf5l7Vw

The Raveonettes: That Great Love Sound

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Akl3k1kcPvY

The Raveonettes: Love in A Trash Can

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRUqpgg-8Ps

Tegan and Sara: Rebel Rebel (Bowie cover)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73fdR5CLIAY

Glam as a Feminist Statement

noreply@blogger.com (Madeira Darling) — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 00:33:00 +0000

Now, before I make my point, I'm going to need to give a little aside on what I mean by feminist. I do consider myself a feminist, because I believe women should have the right to vote, not be raped, and men and women should be allowed equal rights in most circumstances (meaning that basically people should be allowed to have equal freedom of choice, whether you want to go for a career as a home maker, or a rockstar or a rocket scientist, you go and you work for it, and I hope regardless of your gender/sex you get where you wanna go).

The word feminist has been stigmatized by people who oppose egalitarian treatment of the sexes, so that a lot of people think you're some crazy man hating anti-sex nut job when you use the word, but that's not what it's supposed to mean. I love men, I really love men, well not all men, but I love men at about the same rate I love women and people in general, but generally I think people are pretty awesome.

One thing I think that second wave feminism (the 60s and 70s era of feminism) got wrong was it really stigmatized femininity which is a pretty negative message if you ask me, basically associating a lot of positive traits traditionally associated with femininity (nurturing, aesthetic concerns, etc) and stigmatized them, basically saying it was okay for a little girl to improve herself by being more like a little boy, but for a boy to do anything feminine was still associated with weakness.

I think glam is kind of the ultimate rebellion against that femininity=passivity or femininity=weakness gender norm. I think glam dudes are doing something incredibly brave when they don makeup, it's about the biggest fuck you to society you can give. Glam spits in the face of terms like sissy. Glam rock owns its sexuality, owns its strength, and I think is a fantastic example of aggressive (rather than passive) femininity. It's also a great example of femininity and masculinity coexisting without one destroying the other, it seems like so many guys think things like makeup or glitter are embarrassing, or metaphorically castrating, when really it takes balls the size of watermelons to do that as a dude.

In any case, enough of my rambling, basically I just thought it was an interesting and under appreciated aspect of glam.

Thinking about this some more, I was realizing, holy crap I'm really onto something, listening to some lyrics in context a few things clicked.

There are a lot of glam songs that are pretty much about the virgin/whore dichotomy, and they basically come out on the "women who enjoy sex on their own terms are awesome" side of things.

(A quick aside for those who don't know what the virgin/whore dichotomy is. The virgin/whore dichotomy is a misogynist way of viewing women, where men see women who have sexual desire/seem to enjoy sex as bad/dirty whores, and while they still want them as sexual partners they relegate them to the fringes of society and would never openly have a relationship with such a woman, whereas the women they marry/have relationships with/etc are repressed women with no interest in sex and basically women who take pleasure in sex (and enjoy having it for their own pleasure, not just to please their parters) are considered bad/dirty/etc)

"Tainted Angel" by South Gang pretty much covers this, as does "She's No Angel" by covered by Michael Monroe, as well as numerous others including "Good Girl Gone Bad" by Kiss, "Sweet Little Sister" by Skid Row, "Love Bomb Baby" by TigerTailz and to an extent "Cherry Pie" by Warrent all of which come down pretty positively on the side of women who have a healthy attitude towards sex being more viable long term partners than women who do not.

As well a lot of glam's songs about girls are pretty expressly positive, and it seems the quintessential archetype of the rock babe, is a pretty healthy ideal of womanhood. She's usually portrayed as tough, her partner's intellectual equal, independent, healthfully sexual, and not the type to be taken advantage of.

Examples: "Don't you ever leave me" - Hanoi Rocks, "All Lips and Hips" - Electric Boys, "I Wanna Be With You" - Pretty Boy Floyd, "Hot Love" - Twisted Sister, "Cowgirl" - Sons Of Angels, "Still in Love" - The Stage Dolls, "I was Made For Loving You" - Kiss.

Obviously these songs often largely celebrate the sexual aspect these relationships, but the women portrayed are always fully involved enthusiastic participants on the same page about commitment (whether they want it or not, the lyrics suggest that no one is being lied to about what said sexual activity will lead to) and these songs are largely written by young men, and written for an audience in their teens and early 20s, what else do you expect them to have on their mind?

Not to mention actual glam babes are usually pretty awesome themselves, women like Lita Ford, Joan Jett, Doro Pesche, Lee Aaron, the girls in Vixen, and numerous others are all self possessed strong women.

Even songs that are less positive in their view of a specific woman often challenge specific stereotypes about women (IE: that it's always the man who just wants casual sex, and women have to trap them into a relationship) songs like "Angel In Black" by Bangalore Choir are excellent examples of this.

All of this adds up to, holy shit glam was tackling way more issues than it realized it was, managing to get to the right idea and stay there on pure instinct... which is pretty awesome.

Me and Motley Crue

noreply@blogger.com (Madeira Darling) — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 00:43:00 +0000

Also here's one of the clean shots from a recent photoshoot

The Treatment of Femme/Femme relationships in society

noreply@blogger.com (Madeira Darling) — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 00:42:00 +0000

So, awhile back I started seeing my girlfriend, and being with her is making me realize the shitty insidiously misogynist way that femme/femme couples get treated by society.

First off there's the discounting of lesbian sex, I can't tell you how many men tell me "It's not sex unless you're sticking a penis in a hole" oh puh-lease, not only is that offensive to lesbians, it totally discounts female pleasure (most women can't get off on penetration alone)

Then there's the duel pronged insulting "you're just doing it for attention" or "You're making out with another girl, you're trying to find a dude to fuck/have a threeway with, right? Cause you don't look like lesbians." When straight women say the first part I honestly hate hearing it, I'm genuinely sorry that many of your potential sexual partners are hairy grunting Neanderthals who can't grasp the concept that "gay means they have no interest in you" but don't take it out on me or my relationship. As for the men, I suppose I have Katy Perry and all the straight chicks jumping on the bisexuality bandwagon to thank for that one, but on the other hand it seems like this has been kind of a dichotomy that's existed for ages, where there are only two widely portrayed types of lesbian couples the "butch/earthy crunchy" type which feature women who don't conform to traditional beauty norms and thus are of little interest to heterosexual males, and the "pornographic/hot lesbians" which basically exist only in porn, and to fulfill male fantasies and are often really bisexual rather than completely gay.

Basically due to this portrayal it seems like the media is saying any woman who's attractive to men, is attracted to men, which is obviously untrue, but still ends up effecting the way my girlfriend and I are treated when we behave like a couple in public space. As well it seems like society can't accept a romantic relationship as complete without at least one masculine partner, be it a butch/butch relationship, a butch/femme relationship, or a menage au trois with two women and a man, there always seems to be a need for a masculine partner, people seem to think femme/femme relationships are like unbonded oxygen atoms always looking for someone to fill in the phallic blank, which I think really says something about the way our society views femininity.

It's a very clear message if you think about it, it's a way of implying that femininity is incomplete on its own, that in order to be fulfilled there has to be masculinity along with it. It's ingrained even in certain parts of the feminist movement, second wave feminism with its call for the abandonment of femininity for women so that they could be independent. I'm a high heel wearing, leg waxing, big haired high femme, and I'm fine on my own, I don't need masculinity in order to survive, I'm not weak or fragile in my femininity, for me this is strength, this is power and independence and my relationship is perfect and complete and fulfilling with no masculinity in sight.

It always feels like such a knock to our status as a couple, as if because we don't fit their pre-conceived image of what a gay woman looks like, even if we are clearly together, our relationship is open to advances. I like to ask guys how they'd feel if some random dude came up and started hitting on them and their girlfriend at the same time. Not that I object to situations where a couple invites a third, but I think that it has to be the couple that asks, as their relationship is theirs and there's something off about trying to insinuate yourself into someone else's romance without their consent... it's making an assumption that because we're two feminine women we're looking for that, and we're not.

This isn't intended to knock butch/butch or butch/femme couples, you guys have my full support, I just don't like the treatment femme/femme pairs get.

The 11 Best Things About Dating Another Femme

noreply@blogger.com (Madeira Darling) — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 21:21:00 +0000

1. Mani-pedis can be a date
2. When we go out dancing we both understand the need to break for stiletto recovery time
3. If we wear the same shade of lipstick and make out no one gets lipstick on them that doesn't belong there
4. Femmes are the only people who know the correct response to "Do I look fat?"
5. If you move in together you just doubled your wardrobe.
6. No one ever wants to watch the game.
7. She can appreciate your cute underwear as well as your hot underwear
8. They remember anniversaries and buy thoughtful gifts accompanied with thoughtful cards
9. They don't track mud on your nice carpet
10. They're interested in helping you pick out drapes

11. They're prettier than the other options.

Erotic Hypnosis: Glam Metal Dude

noreply@blogger.com (Madeira Darling) — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 03:42:00 +0000

Well, since I do all sorts of crazy things all the time (like write graphic novels, and make silly videos about Ann Coulter being Rasputin) I made an erotic hypnosis file, this version lacks the induction and wakener but you can find those on http://www.warpmymind.com (where my file is uploaded but is premium content) the file is designed to turn the listener into a libidinous hair metal dude because I enjoy libidinous hair metal dudes and relish the thought of creating more of them (also it's mostly designed for male listeners) and I think it's highly entertaining.

How to use:

1. Download an induction file and wakener from http://www.warpmymind.com

2. Download my file

3. Make a playlist in on whatever you use to play MP3s, put the induction first, then my file, then the wakener (alternatively you can just start with the induction and then loop the body file for listening to while sleeping)

4. Play them (at your own risk), don't do this in the car or anywhere else where you need to be fully aware as this will make you sleepy, also the file may have some lasting effects so yeah.

The File: http://www.mediafire.com/?nzn2jnjlni5

How to do a simple retro updo

noreply@blogger.com (Madeira Darling) — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 23:40:00 +0000

Skin Care Mistakes and Reader Q&A

noreply@blogger.com (Madeira Darling) — Mon, 24 Dec 2007 22:33:00 +0000

Five Things That May Be Doing Your Skin More Harm Than Good

1. Over Exfoliation:

I know how good it feels to exfoliate and get all the nasty dead skin cells off, but if you do it too much you can damage your delicate skin.

You risk harming the skin if you do this more than once a week (twice with a gentle product and if your skin tends to really need it)

Not only that but certain products can cause your skin damage as well. Scrubs that contain sharp edged grains such as St. Ives can cause micro-tearing which causes sensitivity and premature aging.

Bad

St. Ives Apricot Scrub:

Instead, use a chemical exfoliant like Alba Organics Papaya Enzyme Mask. Which is far more gentle for the skin, and won't cause tearing, and won't irritate the skin due to friction.

Good
For All Skin Types

Alba Organics Papaya Enzyme Mask:

Available Here

2. Over Treating Acne/Oil

Often if one has oily skin one might become a bit obsessed with making it less oily and forget about the overall health of the skin.

You should wash your face twice a day (once for dry skin) and not more, and not use any acne products more than recommended on the package. Because if you over dry your skin you can cause it to produce even more oil. It is also recommended you use a gentle foaming cleanser rather than Dove Soap.

Bad
Dove Soap:

Good
For Oily Skin
Bliss Steep Clean Cleansing Milk:
From Sephora

Not to mention, often people with acne prone skins are afraid to moisturize, with combine with the use of oil removing products can leave the skin stripped of its protective barrier which can actually cause more breakouts.

Instead, I'd recommend using an oil free moisturizer, such as DDF Ultra Lite Oil Free Moisturizing Dew, which hydrates and protects the skin without adding oil or causing breakouts.

Good
For Oily Skin

DDF Ultra Lite Oil Free Moisturizing Dew:

From Sephora

3. Using An Over-Drying Toner/Not Using Toner

If you are a drier skin type you may either be using a product that is too drying for your skin, or you might be under the impression that toner is only for oily skin.

The first mistake is actually possible for any skin type. Be careful to check that your toner does not contain alcohol, brands that are particularly guilty of over drying toner include Sea Breeze and Clinique.

Bad

Sea Breeze:

Bad
Clinique:

Instead you should use a gentle alcohol free toner. If your skin is oily one with witch hazel, such as Murad Hydrating Toner.

Good
For Oily Skin
Murad Hydrating Toner:
From Sephora

However, as I was saying, if your skin is normal/dry/sensitive you may be avoiding toners because you immediately assume they're for oily skin types to close pours and help curb oil production. This is wrong. Toners also serve to remove leftover cleanser and minerals deposits left behind by the water, also serving to restore the PH balance of the skin and prep it for accepting serums, moisturizers, etc.

So, instead of using nothing (or something astringent) I'd recommend something hydrating and anti-aging, such as Bliss Daily Detoxifying Toner, or Juice Beauty Hydrating Spritz. For sensitive skin DDF Aloe Toning Complex is hydrating and soothing.

Good
For Dry/Normal Skin
Bliss Daily Detoxifying Toner:
From Sephora

Good
For Dry/Normal Skin
Juice Beauty Hydrating Spritz:
From Sephora

Good
For Sensitive Skin
DDF Aloe Toning Complex:
From Sephora

4. Picking At Your Zits/Squeezing

First of all, if a zit is red and inflamed (hurts, feels hot, etc) squeezing it isn't going to do any good. The infection is deep down in the follicle and squeezing it won't get anything out. Instead apply a spot treatment with Salicylic Acid (or Sulfur if you're allergic to aspirin), and wait till it's got a white head to it.

Once it's stopped hurting, and has a white head, you should apply a hot compress (not too hot) a warm wash cloth changed every few minutes, applied for about ten minutes and wait for it to open and drain itself. Once the follicle is open you can apply gentle pressure with the pads of your fingers. After it has fully drained rinse face with cold water, and apply antibacterial ointment, or a kaolin mask.

Remember, if a black head (comedone) isn't coming out easily it probably isn't ready, and you'll simply inflame your skin. Also don't try to extract your skin more than twice a week, and only do so just after you've stepped out of a hot shower. Also make sure you don't just keep trying to extract for an hour after you get out of the shower. Instead go for about ten minutes, and then apply witch hazel to skin if you tend to be oily. Be sure to wash your hands with antibacterial soap before attempting any extractions.

Bad

Squeezing Without Prep:

Good

Clean And Clear Spot Treatment:
Available at your local drugstore

A kaolin clay mask can help unclog pours, and regular exfoliation can help prevent them.

5. Skin Lighteners

These products often feature hydroquinone which is EXTREMELY DANGEROUS, or alkaline chemicals which dry and irritate the skin making it even more vulnerable to future hyper pigmentation and infection.

Instead of using bleaching products (homemade or otherwise) I'd recommend using a full spectrum physical sunblock with zinc oxide or titanium dioxide to prevent hyper pigmentation in the first place. Physical sunblock is particularly good as it's hypoallergenic and always full spectrum.

Bad

Murad Age Spot And Lightening Gel:

Good
For All Skin Types

DDF Organic Sunblock SPF 30:

From Sephora

Good
For All Skin Types

Korres Natural Products Watermelon Sunscreen SPF 30:
From Sephora

Reader Q&A

Question: Dear Madeira,is there a way to draw on your eyebrows without having to shave them all the way off? I once saw in Kevin Aucoin's book 'Making Faces' that there was a way to do this, but as I didn't buy the book I forgot how to do it. - Mon Couer Noir

Answer:
To cover your eyebrows (so you don't have to shave them off)

Step One: one should use witch hazel to remove the oils.

Step Two: Apply spirit gum heavily working into the brows, and then flatten with a finger tip until dry, but don't wait too long or it'll get too tacky.

Step Three: Use a theatrical eyebrow wax (I like Kryolan brand for this) and knead it between your fingers till it's pliant and apply a layer over brows.,

Step Four: Apply full coverage foundation (MAC Studio Tech is a nice one for photoshoots, and going out) and powder down.

Step Five: Use liquid liner to draw brows in.

And lastly remember practice makes perfect. - Much Love, Madeira Darling

Next Week: 5 Best Alternative Beauty Bargains, Hopefully More Reader Questions, and How To Achieve A Beehive.

Want your question on this blog? E-mail me at: Glittertrashwhore@gmail.com

Perfect Girl Evolution Review

noreply@blogger.com (Madeira Darling) — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 19:07:00 +0000

So I just watched pretty much the full run of Perfect Girl Evolution, and I have to say... I think I'm in love. I mean this is an anime with: Horror references, crossdressing pretty boys, a makeover, and really amazing art (when they're not taking the shitty animation route)

The plot centers around Sunako Nakahara a gore obsessed and atypical young woman who believes herself to be hideously ugly, but in typical ugly duckling story fashion, she is in fact stunningly beautiful. Her eccentric ways are threatened when her bonvivant aunt makes a bet with four jawdroppingly pretty boys over whether or not they can turn the morbid Sunako into a proper lady.

Sunako Post-Makeover:

Sunako's unusual behavior is linked to an incident in high school during which she confessed her love to a young man and he rejected her as "ugly" after said incident she simply stopped trying.

Eventually, Sunako develops a love interest with one of the boys (Kyouhei) despite that looking directly at him gives her a nose bleed. I won't give you anymore spoilers, but I will highly suggest you pick up a copy here.

Title: The Wallflower, Perfect Girl Evolution
Genre: Comedy, Anime, Romance
Child Safety: Too angsty
Rating: 4 1/2 out of five

It's Ok To Dress Like A Goth If... (expanded)

noreply@blogger.com (Madeira Darling) — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 18:30:00 +0000

Ok, I've noticed rather a startling number of people asking questions along the lines of "Can I be goth if I'm fat/ugly/of African descent/skinny/short/paralyzed/one eyed/a monster/have bad skin/missing a hand/a Siamese twin/king of Prussia?"

And I was thinking, that it needs to be cleared up that, yes, even if you are the space mutant zombie king of Prussia you can be goth... actually if you were the space mutant zombie king of Prussia... you'd probably get extra goth points.

However, I'm trying to make a serious point. Goth is about being spooky/morbid/macabre what have you, and you don't have to be a size two beauty queen to be spooky. There are fat goths. There are skinny goths. There are goth body builders. You can be a goth no matter how you happen to be shaped. The gothic subculture is one of the most physically accepting. Most of it doesn't judge people on factors like weight, beauty, race, what have you.

The wonderful thing about goth is you can be spooky pretty much no matter what you look like. Garments can be found to flatter any body shape.

The Curvy or plus sized girl:

Victorian, fifties pinup wear or 18th century garments (with proper under pinnings, as corsets give excellent support to a full bust) for more curvaceous ladies, making them look pleasingly ample rather than shapeless, and giving them the look of a "voluptuous demoness"
Plus size cyber girls can rock tops that show off their assets, and still be sexy, although the must be careful garments do not create unflattering bulges, and that skirts end at a flattering point on the leg. Always make sure you buy good lingerie, esp if you are of a curvier build, get yourself fitted for a bra in a department store, and always try on before you buy. Also it is very important to wear clothes that are not baggy as they merely hide your shape (which is probably quite feminine in nature) and make one look blocky or blobbish. Be watchful of medieval style gowns are they are often not as tailored as Victorian clothes and may

The Slim Female:

The boyish and wraith thin female has no problem finding gothic attire either, she can be a twenties vamp, or a consumptive Victorian maiden, or a survivor of a nuclear apocalypse. You should make sure your clothes are not too baggy on you as that makes on look rather too "dressed in a sack"-ish and flatter your figure. It's important be careful about things being baggy through the bust. If you desire a more feminine shape a corset can nip in the waist and give the wearer the curves she desires.

If you are quite young and look it, it is best to avoid dressing in a very serious or overtly sexual manner as it may look somewhat silly, or in the case of overt sexuality, a bit disturbing to some of us older folk. Instead in the case of a young girl, gothic Lolita is the obvious choice as it works with your youth rather than trying to skirt the issue. If one is very short as well as thin Gothic Lolita is again a good strategy, as it will not overwhelm you.

The Athletic Female:

Girls of an athletic build tend to look good in Edwardian gowns (if they are of sufficient height), 1940's dresses, and tighter more modern clothing that shows off their toned muscles. There is also a large crossover between the belly dance community and goth. Middle eastern dancing dress could be an excellent way to show off your body. A mixture of punk and gothic clothing in your case can be fantastic, as it's a wonderful way to play up your strength rather than play it down. You appear stronger than your more waifish counter parts, and therefore it may be unwise to try and appear as flimsy and fragile when you are not. Instead of wilting and ghostly, it might be more appropriate to cast yourself as a threat. This of course can still be highly alluring. Instead of a broken dolly, you are a temptress, luring men to a very pleasant doom, or you don't have to be a temptress if you'd prefer not to be, you can be any number of ideas, you can for a more futuristic look, cast yourself as a bounty hunter or mercenary.

The Larger Guy:

Heavier males tend to look best going for tough rather than fouffy and romantic. I'm sorry but that crushed velvet shirt is unlikely to flatter you. If you want to go for historic, think less mopey poet and more black knight. With this historical look it is important to avoid coming off as nerdy, or bikerish. If you are a large strong fellow this is an excellent way to go. Long duster type coats re also not the best choice for you as they will fit oddly over your midsection.

Make sure your clothing is neither too baggy or too tight, as these are both especially unflattering.

Take care to buy pants that are tailored but not skin tight. You can pull off spikes, leather and all that far more convincingly than your lither counter parts. If you are heavier, but perhaps want something more civilized the Victorian again offers good choices. Think in this case professorial. Cultivate facial hair perhaps, and invest in suits cut in an archaic style, pocket watches, and waistcoats give one an air of dignity, and if done right can give one a rather "mad scientist" air.

Also although velvet shirts and leather pants are not the most flattering, priestly attire is recommended highly for you, if pulled off with the right quality of malevolence can be just the ticket.

If you are young and of a heavier build one should not attempt to look as knightly as your older counter parts. Instead think Victorian thug, or perhaps street thug of the future. A proletarian appearance is often more suitable than aristocratic attire for the young, and so perhaps a 1930's fellow in a button down, suspenders, a fedora or news boy hat, and well cut trousers would suit you.

The Skinny Guy:

Slimmer goth boys, especially those of a more petite build often have it easier in the "romantic" and "cyber" categories. If you are androgynous in appearance it's all the better, there's a long tradition of crossdressing in the gothic subculture, and you, my dear, are the ideal person to do it. You are the one that poet's shirt was intended for, although Miss Madeira does not recommend crushed velvet shirts to anyone, velvet is far better as a material for a jacket, or dress.

When it comes to cyber goth, tight pants are your friend, as are short skirts. The one thing that is very much not your friend? Boots that are too massive, as they are likely to make you look ungainly and strangely proportioned.

You may also find that you look too "young" in certain fashions. Wearing a full on Victorian lord type outfit may make you look like a child in costume, so instead of dressing as a lord of the castle dress a bit more like a debauched prince. The debauched prince look is similar to that of the lord of the castle look, however it is a bit more dandified and piratical, with more lace, and velvet. Even so, if one is too young looking even for the debauched prince look, it might be a good idea to focus stylistically on something a bit less authoritative, and a bit cuter.

For the very young looking historical leaning goth boy, I suggest looking at 80's goth. Be delicate and pretty, be foppish and trim everything with lace. The 18th century is a good century to reference, as it was a century for men too pretty to be rugged. Miss Madeira thinks it is probably best that you don't try to appear "bad ass" instead appear witty and charming. You are probably pretty rather than handsome, and there's nothing wrong with this, and playing that up with hair and makeup is a good idea as it will give you a charming air of ambiguity.

An image of a boy who would not fair well as a lord of the castle or a prince, but looks quite nice dressed as he is:
http://www.logoonline.com/sitewide/flipbook/img/shows/gypsy_83/320x240_001.jpg

When going for a historical look it often looks blatantly wrong to use unnatural fibers. You may not be the most "built" guy, but there are plenty of goth girls (and boys) who find you attractive just as you are. I have on last suggestion for you: Tight rather than baggy. Baggy clothing swamps you and may make you appear too frail, where as tighter fitting clothes will show off your slenderness to advantage making you look less prepubescent and far sexier.

The Muscular Guy:

Muscular goth fellows look excellent in cyber outfits, and dressed as Victorian gentleman. Victorian clothing is very flattering to a lean but defined figure. As you are likely to look a bit older than your waifish counterparts, you are by far the best man to pull off the "lord of the castle look, as it will not make you look foolish and prepubescent. It is a good idea to avoid women's clothing for you though, as you are likely broader through the chest and will come off as comedic rather than waifish, although if you are lean but cut, a short skirt and no top could be an excellent choice for clubbing.

If you are quite young but muscular it might be best to appear more Proletarian or feral (as I said above in the heavier men's section) for young men the dark fae look often works quite well, as does the look of a casual 1920's gang member, sharp but casual, pants and suspender with a shirt, but no suit jacket, etc. Don't try to appear as a dead mobster for regular outings, zombie makeup is not the most appropriate for club outings. Instead save it for halloween or a photoshoot.

An Example of an outfit that would suit you: http://www.thedarkangel.co.uk/catalogue3.php?p=76

In general on fibers:

I repeat, please do not wear velvet shirts, they are historically inaccurate, and often made of poor quality velvet that has a rather "I R TEH VAMINPRYE" look to it, this is sadly often true of satin shirts as well. In my mind the best materials for a proper Victorian shirt are cotton, linen, or silk.

Hair:

Though I believe it is important to note that as a goth in general it is important to make sure you do something with your hair. I often see young goth boys going about with either ill kept, or unstyled manes.

So to digress for a moment, although you can be a goth with any color hair, or any haircut, I think it contributes immensely to a look to have good (and particularly gothy) hair.

Dying the hair is often a good idea, as it livens things up a bit by making somewhat indefinite colors "pop" more.

Here are a few suggestions if you don't want to do anything too harsh to your hair:

Dark hair (light to dark brown): Dye it or tint it a bit darker (if it's very dark already you can dye it black, it will likely suit you very well) If you have warm toned skin (golden undertones) you will look best with a browner back, if your skin has blue undertones a blue black will suit you best.

Red hair: Red hair can be very, vey goth. You can brighten it with a semi-permanent dye, or a color gloss to acheive a more extreme look. If your skin is cool toned, but not ruddy a cool blue red will suit you best, but if your skin has a bit more yellow to it an orange red will look best. Henna can be a good and gentle way to achieve a brighter color

Fair (blonde, to very pale strawberry blonde): If your hair is blond you have loads of options. FIrst of all, you will not need to lighten hair as much, or at all to acheive vibrant results, you can color your hair any unnatural color you want to, without nearly as much damage. If you are golden tressed by all means use a color gloss to enhance this, long blond hair on a male or female can be quite entrancing. Another option is to lighten it, if your hair is a darker blonde or a middling sort that you aren't fond of, you can lighten it to acheive platinum blonde or white, which are both very gothy colors.

As you can see, I am not terribly fond of light brown hair on goths, and I do have a reason for this, with the black clothing it tends to look a bit washed out, so if you are light brown haired, and either do not wish to dye, or cannot dye your hair, I would recommend wearing a bit more color (Eg: black pants red top, etc, so that you remain defined)

Quick notes on hair care:
One shouldn't wash one's hair too frequently, once or twice a week is the best for the hair if you can manage to wait, and one must condition afterwards (if one has fine hair just condition the ends, and use a light weight conditioner, like aussie 3 minute miracle) frequent trims are important to prevent split ends and maintain a nice looking mane. If you have long hair put it into a loose braid before bed so that it doesn't become tangled in the night. It is also best to use a brush with natural bristles as it will help to distribute natural oil down the hair which will keep it healthy. Do not brush your hair after a shower, instead use a wide tooth comb to distribute conditioner while in the shower, and to remove tangles afterward.

Use a creamy conditioner if your hair is dry or damaged, my current favorite is Redken Allsoft, and if your hair is colored make sure to use a shampoo formulated to minimize fading.

Style:

Long: While long hair is an excellent look for many people, it is very important to maintain it, and make sure that it flatters you and does not become boring. If your hair is very long and fine it will often be somewhat lacking in volume and interest, layering can combat this problem, and on males can differentiate one from the herds of goth boys with long blunt cut hair, not to mention that, if you are long faced layering around the face can prevent it from dragging everything down and making you look more long faced than you would like. If ones hair is wavy or curly, wearing it long is a particularly good idea as it makes it less likely to be pouffy and unmanageable. In the end ;ong hair is a good choice for pretty much any sort of goth, as long as you have the time and energy to maintain it properly.

Shorter and teased, a very classic goth look. All it takes is aquanet and a comb. A word of caution on this, those of larger builds might want to avoid this look as it draws comparisons between oneself and Robert Smith. Though if one is larger and has longer hair it is perfectly approprite to add volume. The wild bird's nest look is particularly suited to the slim and androgynous sort of goth, especially if they are enamored of 1980's gothic fashion with it's torn up victoriana, and ankhs.

Spiky: Spikes can be a very good thing, or a very bad thing. If one has a big forehead it will not be the most flattering to create spikes all the way to the hairline as it merely makes ones forehead look larger, instead spike the back and sides, and leave a bit of fringe in the front (be careful with this as it can look a bit too emo, although I don't think Emo kids as a rule have very bad hair) if done with certain haircuts this can also bring unfavorable comparison to frat boys who are frequently seen with their hair gelled into more modest spikes

Dreads: Long down the back dreadfalls work for just about any type of goth (except for historical) and people of any build, except for more petite males, and females who are a bit on the short side. In the case of these two catagories shorter shoulder length pigtail type falls are more flattering as in the case of the shorter females it adds length to the body, and in the case of slimmer males short dread falls do not overwhelm the body so much. Dreadfalls are not my favorite look for various reasons, but if you love them, then of course you should wear them.

Makeup:

Eyeliner: Pencil and liquid are both fine (though I think mac fluid line with a mac 208 brush is ideal) and both take practice. A good liquid liner can be bought from Sheseido, it comes in a pen for very tidy application.

In one case however, pencil liner is not fine. This case of course is for large swirly eyeliner. If you are the type of goth who enjoys wearing large swirly eyemakeup, please use liquid liner. It is also very important if you are going to wear large swirly eyeliner, or gothic makeup in general to invest in a good foundation that match (or nearly matches) your skin tone. I like mineral powders best as they are the best for the skin, and do not cause breakouts or irritation, and remember to blend. Good ones can be found from Bare Minerals or Fyirnnae (http://fyrinnae.com/)

If you do however choose to wear a liquid or cream formula, it is vastly important to remember to powder it down afterwards so you don't run, crease or streak. A good concealer is also of great benefit to a goth. It allows one to hide dark circles from being up late, pimples from... anything, and any marks left behind by one's paramour.

If you wish to wear a lot of eyeshadow, it's important that it look blended and neat. Gothic makeup is often dramatic, and when ill executed can look very silly. brushes are the best way to apply shadow, as they allow much more when it comes to layering and blending of color than sponge applicators. With eyeshadow (especially dark colors) one must practice and learn to blend before going out with it on. I find practicing on the back of my hand to be a very useful thing.

On Mascara: If you're wearing makeup... wear it. Black eyeliner and invisible lashes is not a flattering look on anyone.

A word on lipstick: Black lipstick is not a crime... unless it's badly done, in which case it very much is. Wear a lipliner under it (so that it doesn't smudge) a mac waterproof eyeliner works fine for this, and use a lipbrush so that it looks tidy. Also if your hair is brown it is not flattering to wear black lipstick as it washes you out. Amanda palmer is an excellent example of makeup for a brown haired goth (although I don't recommend white face to anyone who is not a trained professional) she manages to look very dramatic, without overusing black and thus washing herself out.

Not to mention that you have loads of options besides black, you can wear any color you wish, blue, red, pink (yes I said pink), purple, whatever, you can wear it. One note one blue/green/purple type colors: Again use a lipliner as a base to get the proper coverage as you don't want pink showing through)

Makeup for going out: If you plan to attend a club is it wise to make certain changes in your makeup due to lighting, and the fact that you will probably be dancing which may lead to perspiration and smeared makeup. First of all, if you do not normally wear one under your foundation apply a primer to help foundation cling to the skin (my favorite is by smashbox), then apply concealer, liquid/cream foundation, cream/liquid highlighter/cream contour/cream blush, or any other liquid or cream products you will be applying to the face. After you have blended all that you will apply powder over all the liquids to set it (use loose powder for this, but pop a compact of pressed powder into your bag) Next apply any contour you planned to do with powder. After that apply a shadow base to your eyes (an excellent one is urban decay primer potion), and fill in your brows and do your eye-shadow as you would normally, although since the lighting in the club will likely be dim, use more shimmer, and higher contrast colors than you normally would, however, when you do eyeliner, use a water proof pencil on your lower lids (and then set with black powder eyeshadow, and use either a liquid liner, or a cream liner on your upper-lids. Apply a waterproof mascara, and watch for clumps. Next apply a waterproof lipliner taking care to fill in the entire lip (makeup forever makes a particularly nice one) and apply lipstick or gloss as you prefer, taking care to be sparing in your application. Next comes the big secret sptiz on some makeup fixative and wait about 30 seconds (depending on the instructions on the bottle) before opening your eyes. It won't feel awesome, but you'll get used to it, and it's worth it for the immobile makeup (Model in a bottle makes a nice fixative: http://www.modelinabottle.com/ )

A short word on skincare:

You wear loads of makeup, you smoke, or are around people who smoke... for gods sake take care of your hide. To start off sunscreen, use a mineral based full spectrum one in at least spf 15 everyday, I'd suggest using one that doubles as a moisturizer to save time. However that's not all. You should cleanse, tone, and moisturize once or twice a day. If it's once do it before you go to bed, as it's not a good idea to sleep with your makeup on. Cleaner should be milky for dry, normal, or sensitive skin, for oily or acne prone skin a foaming cleanser will do very well, although if it is too strong it can strip your skin making it produce more oil. My favorite milky cleanser right now, is DDF Non-drying gentle cleanser, another excellent one is Purity by philosophy, for oilier skins Aveda's Purifying Cleanser and Murad's Energizing Pomegranate Cleanser. Then you should use an alcohol free toner to remove any build up of cleanser left on the skin, and any minerals that might have been left by the water. A few recommended toners are for dry/normal/dehydrated skin skin: Bliss Daily Detoxifying toner, for oily skin Murad Clarifying toner, Sensitive skin: DDF Aloe Toning Complex. And then spread moisturizer all over your face: For dry/normal/sensitive: DDF Daily Protective Moisturizer, for oily: DDF Ultra-lite oil free moisturizing dew, for all: Philosophy: Hope in a jar, Juice Beauty Oil Free Moisturizer.

But in the end of course, you have a right to do anything you want, I merely wrote this little guide as a way of suggesting items that might particularly flatter particular colorings and figures, since there really is something that will work wonderfully for everyone

Next week: Responses to reader questions (if there are any), and five things that do your skin more harm than good

Life, Death, Quashing Feelings Of Loneliness With Foundation Primer

noreply@blogger.com (Madeira Darling) — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 05:02:00 +0000

So, I'm not in a good mood lately, however there is the wonderful world of Sephora to perk me up when I'm feeling down. So, I just wanted to give you guys a little heads up on what may be the most awesome product ever to grace this fair earth.

Smashbox's amazing, and much praised foundation primer:

I know it's kind of a lot of hype, but this is one thing that will make sure your foundation DOES NOT BUDGE EVEN IF YOU GO AT IT WITH A JACKHAMMER! and it does this without feeling like... evil. It even has a wrinkle reducing thingmadoodle, and SPF (The SPF is the exciting part here kids) and it's silicone based so it won't cause breakouts. Basically this is the second coming in a bottle, you go and buy it now!

Info:
Name: Smashbox Photofinish Primer with SPF
Price: $42 for the one with SPF $38 if you want to save a little money and get skin cancer
Purpose: To keep your foundation from moving, creasing, or doing anything else weird that you don't want it to.
Rating: five out of five
Where to buy: Sephora

So my pretties!

noreply@blogger.com (Madeira Darling) — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 03:19:00 +0000

This shall be my music, art, culture, beauty, and fashion blog... return often for updates on scene whoredom, and sephora reviews.

Disclaimer: The Authoress of this blog is a licensed aesthetician. However, she is not qualified to diagnose, prescribe treatment for, or other wise mess with medical skin conditions. Beyond this she cannot be held responsible for the effects of any of her advice on skincare, makeup, or otherwise. By reading her advice you agree to the terms here stated.