Bold XL

big is relative

maximillion — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 17:20:01 +0000

I’ll admit it: once in a while I get tired of being at the lonely end of the size bell-curve. “Sorry, we don’t have that in your size.” Or, worse, “Sorry, they don’t make those in your size.” Not enough leg/head/butt room. The unshakable inability to blend in with the crowd. So sometimes I like to be reminded that in the overall scheme of things, I’m not particularly big after all. Nothing brings that sense of scale home like the cosmos.

In the words of the late, great Douglas Adams, as spoken by the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy: “Space is big. Really big. You just won’t believe how vastly, hugely mind-bogglingly big it is. You may think it’s a long way down the road to the chemist, but that’s just peanuts to space.” (Adams was British, so cut him some slack for that “chemist” bit.) A visual reminder is even better than verbal, and for that there’s NASA’s Astronomy Picture of the Day.

Pictured above: a Hubble Space Telescope image of NGC 6302, aka the Bug Nebula.

Chuck, Chuck, Bo Buck…

maximillion — Sat, 14 Feb 2009 22:18:31 +0000

Heh. That never gets old. Anyway, biggest personal discovery so far this year: I’ve got a thing for plaid shoes. I reached this new level of self-awareness when I dropped my new plaid Chuck Taylor hightops on the floor of the closet… and they landed right next to a pair of plaid Converse slip-ons. I’m not saying I’m going to start phasing out my single-color footwear in favor of gridded-up gear. But I definitely feel cooler with some plaid on my peds.

Sit, namesake, sit.

maximillion — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 13:11:31 +0000

With less than a month to go before the Iditerod (what, you didn’t know?), seems like a good time for a shout-out to the beast who shares a name many of us have been cursed with since boyhood: the Husky.

Lord loves a workin’ dog, and so do I. The Siberian Husky is the polar (yeah, I said it) opposite of the Paris Hilton pocket dog. Strong, smart, tough, fluffy. Not that I care about fluffy.

Definitely a dog worthy of a vodka-based tribute drink, though I’m not sure Blueberry Stoli sets the right tone for a such a badass breed. Here it is anyway, straight from the back of the Stoli bottle:

Siberian Husky
1.5 parts Stoli Blueberry
2 parts lemon-lime soda
2 parts cranberry juice
twist of lime

Bottoms up. Better yet: Mush!

beautiful beast

maximillion — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 21:31:40 +0000

OK, OK, this is my third presidential mention in two weeks. I don’t plan to keep it up… but I couldn’t let the new presidential limo roll past without comment. Because, man, it’s nothing if not big. 16,000 pounds big, or so the press is speculating. Details on Cadillac One, aka The Beast, are few and far between, for security reasons. But it’s reportedly clad in 8-inch-thick military-grade armor, and the bulletproof window glass is 5 inches thick. I’m guessing cabin noise is not a problem. Ditto leg room, for that matter.

Zip it good

maximillion — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 12:29:43 +0000

I love this sweater. It’s got everything going for it: great fit, nifty details, a zipper I can fidget with when I’m bored… it’s even got a vague early-Hugh-Hefner vibe that appeals to my inner dawg. At least I think it has an early-Hef vibe. Could be I’ve just been watching a little too much Girls Next Door (if there is such a thing as too much Girls Next Door).

Mirdle me this

maximillion — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 15:21:17 +0000

WTF? Control-top underwear for men? “Sculpting” tees? Mirdles? Mantyhose? Say it ain’t so. Except, it is. The murderous undergarments women have put up with for centuries are jumping the gender barrier and landing on a male torso near you.

So far, according to stories like this, it’s mainly a Euro thing. No surprise there. But mirdles are creeping closer by the minute. Spanx, maker of the boa-constrictor-like underwear favored by starlets and soccer MILFs alike, plans to release a men’s line this year. Like I said, WTF.

World’s tallest man saves dolphin

maximillion — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 16:31:47 +0000

Okay so yeah. It was two years ago. And we’ve probably all seen it. But still. Seems the outright weirdness of the story should be commemorated somehow. Like with a BoldXL post. Nice work, tall man.

Time to roll up sleeves/get to work

maximillion — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 19:38:45 +0000

That’s one of the impressions I took away from last week’s inaugural speech. So, in the spirit of sleeve rolling, I offer up the Synrgy Black/Pink Dobby Sport Shirt. This shirt just begs to have the cuffs turned back… even if you have no intention of getting to work. Like me, for example.

RIP, 8th wonder of the world

maximillion — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 13:11:44 +0000

7 foot 4. 500 pounds. Arguably the most-quoted WWF wrestler ever, thanks to his role as Fezzik in The Princess Bride (”Anybody want a peanut?”). When André the Giant died, on January 27, 1993, the world got a little smaller.

He lives on in memory, of course… and in the Obey Giant logo of culture-artist-du-jour Shepherd Fairey. Yup, that’s his face, first adopted by the artist back in 1989, when future Fairey model Barack Obama was still in law school. Right on, André.

The Big Island

maximillion — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 04:23:17 +0000

This time of year I find myself Googling tropical destinations. Not that I’m going anywhere, at least not anytime soon. But it’s comforting to know that at least someone, somewhere in the world, is warm. South Pacific, Caribbean, Mediterranean, I’ve surfed all the usual suspects. So I was a little surprised when my most recent “tropical island” search turned up… Germany?

Oh, yes. Brandenburg, Germany, to be exact, home of Tropical Islands, an artificial tropical resort housed in a former airship hangar. This place is HUGE. The hangar itself is nearly 400 yards long, 230 yards wide, and over 350 feet tall. It’s one of the largest buildings on earth, and the largest hall with no supporting pillars inside, making it cavernous enough to accommodate indoor hot-air balloon rides:

Personally, I’d prefer Bora Bora. But you’ve gotta tip your hat to something that’s just so damned big. Ja.