BONJOKES-Jokes for all ocassions

JUNKAMANIA

2009-05-30T16:01:00.003+05:30

BONJOKES ANNOUNCES A NEW BLOG CALLED JUNKAMANIA!
You will get to know how to send free FREE SMS.
Also you can learn HOW TO MAKE MONEY FROM HOME?
Bye

2008-07-12T06:38:00.005+05:30

WHEN DRUNKARDS ARE BEFORE JUDGE!!!
A judge told the man in front of him : "It's alcohol, and alcohol alone that's responsible for your condition."
He answered : "You've made me a very happy person. Everyone tells me it's all my fault."

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Magistrate:"You were caught passing water over the Yamuna Bridge. Why did you do so?
Drunkard:"Because there was enough water over it."

2008-07-08T17:30:00.001+05:30

ELEVATOR PROBLEM

The kindly old lady in the elevator questioned the attendant brightly:
"Don't you get awful tired, son?"
"Yes, Aunt," the boy in uniform admitted.
"What makes you so tired, son? Is it the going up?'
"No, Aunt."
"Is it the going down?"
"No, Aunt."
"Then what is it makes you so tired, son?"
"It's the questions, Aunt."

2008-07-05T19:47:00.014+05:30

SAFARI

There is a sign in a safari park which read:
TRESPASSERS WILL BE EATEN!!!!

What happened to Mr.Ray when he accidently stepped on a lion?
He became X-Ray!

How do you desribe a Zebra?
A horse behind bars.

Why Giraffes are not good at apologising?
Because it takes a lot of time to swallow their pride.

2008-06-29T01:30:00.003+05:30

APPETITE
The young man applied to the manager of the entertainment museum for employment as a freak, and the following dialogue occurred:
"Who are you?"
"I am Enoch, the egg king."
"What is your specialty?"
"I eat three dozen hen's eggs, two dozen duck eggs, and one dozen goose eggs, at a single setting."
"Do you know our program?"
"What is it?"
"We give four shows every day."
"Oh, yes, I understand that."
"And do you think you can do it?"
"I know I can."
"On Saturdays we give six shows."
"All right."
"On holidays we usually give a performance every hour."
And now, at last, the young man showed signs of doubt.

"In that case, I must have one thing understood before I'd be willing to sign a contract."
"What?"
"No matter what the rush of business is in the show, you've got to give me time to go to the hotel to eat my regular meals."

2008-06-29T00:22:00.003+05:30

BRUTALITY
Two ladies in a car disputed concerning the window, and at last called the conductor as referee.
"If this window is open," one declared,
"I shall catch cold, and will probably die."
"If the window is shut," the other announced,
"I shall certainly suffocate."
The two glared at each other.
The conductor was at a loss, but he welcomed the words of a man with a red nose who sat near. These were:
"First, open the window, conductor. That will kill one. Next, shut it. That will kill the other. Then we can have peace."

2008-06-29T00:11:00.004+05:30

CHURCH
The young members of the family had been taught to be punctilious in contributing to the collection at church. One Sunday morning, when the boxes were being passed, James, aged six, ran his eye over those in the pew, and noticed that a guest of his sister had no coin in her hand.
"Where is your money?" he whispered.
She answered that she hadn't any.
But James was equal to the emergency: "Here, take mine," he directed.
"That'll pay for you. I'll get under the seat." Which he did.

2008-06-28T19:48:00.007+05:30

MADE IN JAPAN

There was a Japanese man who came to India to Delhi for sightseeing. On the last day, he hailed a cab and told the driver to drive to the airport. During the journey, a Honda drove past the taxi. Thereupon, the man leaned out of the window excitedly and yelled, "Honda, very fast! Made in Japan!"

After a while, a Toyota sped past the taxi. Again, the Japanese man leaned out of the window and yelled, "Toyota, very fast! Made in Japan!"

And then a Mitsubishi sped past the taxi. For the third time, the Japanese leaned out of the window and yelled, "Mitsubishi, very fast! Made in Japan!"

The driver was a little angry, but he kept quiet. And this went on for quite a number of cars. Finally, the taxi came to the airport. The fare was 2000 rupees.

The Japanese exclaimed, "What!!! so expensive!"

There upon, the driver yelled back, "Meter, very fast! Made in Japan!"

2008-06-24T20:36:00.003+05:30

DO YOU KNOW ME?

A lawyer approached to an elderly grandmother and asked, “Mrs.. Deshpande, do you know me?”

She responded, “Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Sarpotdar. I’ve known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you’re a big disappointment to me.You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher.”

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, “Mrs.. Deshpande, do you know the defense attorney?”

2008-06-24T20:27:00.002+05:30

ARE YOU RELAXING

Our Harbhanjan Singh was enjoying Match.

Yuvraj Singh came and asked him, “Are you relaxing?”

Bhajji answered, “No I am Harbhajan Singh”

VRV Singh Came and asked the same Question.

He answered, “No! No!, Me Harbhajan Singh”

Third one came and asked the same question, Bhajji was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place.

While walking he saw Sreesanth enjoying the Match. He went and asked him “Are you Relaxing?”

The Sreesanth answered “Yes I am relaxing.”

Bhajji slapped him on his face and said “Are sab tere Ko wahan dhoond rahe hai aur tu Yahaan Aaram Kar raha hai.”

2008-06-24T20:25:00.003+05:30

FREEZE CAT!!!

2008-06-24T20:10:00.005+05:30

MY FAVOURITES

DUMB
LOLhome
JOKES DUNIYA

2008-06-24T17:02:00.004+05:30

2008-06-22T11:53:00.006+05:30

ELEPHANT TRANSPORT

2008-06-22T11:45:00.003+05:30

OVERLOADED CAR!!

2008-06-10T17:51:00.005+05:30

BON JOKES

Q:What is the penalty for bigamy?
A:Two mothers-in-law.

Q:Why is a lawyer hard working?
A:Because, he works with a will.

Q:What has four legs and flies?
A:A dead dog!

Q:Why are the cooks cruel?
A:Because they batter the fish, beat the eggs and whip the cream!

Q:How do you keep flies out of the kitchen?
A:Put a bucket of manure in the lounge.

Q:What is an ig?
A:An Eskimo's house without a loo!

Q:How do you find out where a flea has bitten you?
A:Start from the scratch.

Q:Why did the Cabbage whistle?
A:Because it saw the salad dressing!

Q:Why was a fence put round the graveyard?
A:Because people were dying to get in.

Q:How does an Elephant get up a tree?
A:He sits on an acorn and waits for it to grow!

2008-06-08T11:08:00.003+05:30

THANK GOD!
There were two men, who were about to be hanged at a public execution. When they were already on the scaffold in preparation for the supreme moment, a bull being led to market broke loose and ran amuck through the great crowd assembled to witness the hanging. One of the condemned men on the scaffold turned to his fellow, and remarked:

"I say, mate, it's a good thing we're not in that crowd."

ABSENT-MINDENESS
The absentminded inventor perfected a parachute device. He was taken up in a balloon to make a test of the apparatus. Arrived at a height of a thousand feet, he climbed over the edge of the basket, and dropped out.
He had fallen two hundred yards when he remarked to himself, in a tone of deep regret:
"Dear me! I've gone and forgotten my umbrella."

2008-06-05T20:00:00.000+05:30

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