The Aging Disco Diva

She Was Rode Hard and Put Away Wet

agingdiscodiva@yahoo.com (The Aging Disco Diva) — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 15:00:00 +0000

My word....

You'all know that the Diva loved to feature our favorite Southern Train Wreck in her blog entries a few years back: the umbrella attacks, the crotch shots, the head shavings, the umbrella shavings, crotch attacks and head shots, etc. Then we found out that Britney Spears wasn't nuts, she was mentally ill, and the Aging Disco Diva decided to pick on other nucking futs celebrities and left Bri-Bri alone.

Well her ~~heartless money squeeze~~r loving father has decided she is well enough to be ~~put on display~~ sent out on tour to ~~support her whole bloodsucking family~~ bring happiness and joy to her fans.

Ok....The Aging Disco Diva is not going to question whether or not this is a despicable attempt to squeeze the last drop of milk outta' the fading-fast family cash cow, or a loving attempt to help her on the road to recovery. I will leave that to my Tuesday morning Cawfee Tawk with the Aging Bingo Princess.

I am going to question whether or not the costume designer for her tour is legally and/or artistically blind, or if he/she had only previously been the set designer for the Bulgarian porn industry. I mean... really... seriously... black pasties over silver sequined leotards????... soooooo last year. The Diva already donated all of hers to the local Goodwill.

I am also going to question the sanity of subjecting two young boys, night after night, to watching mommy on stage dressed as an aging S & M lounge skank.

The golden bra with protruding spikes is a particularly lovely visual for the boys.

You can pull all the stops out
Till they call the cops out
Grind your behind till you're bend.
But you gotta get a gimmick
If you wanna get a hand.
You can sacrifice your sacharo
Working in the back row.
Bump in a dump till you're dead.
Kid you gotta have a gimmick
If you wanna get ahead.

("You gotta have a gimmick"-- from the movie"Gypsy" )

Taken directly from Britney Spears's official blog:

Contrary to rumors linked to false articles, Britney Spears' sons, Sean Preston and Jayden James, will be joining her on the entire Circus tour and will be attending shows as planned. Britney's family is a huge inspiration and she loves having them on the road with her.

Oh my....I wonder if the boys were in the audience this past Sunday when mommy let the whole world know that her... um.... um... cough... naughty bits... were hanging out of her costume. Deja vu all over again--I mean who has not seen her nether region by now? You stay classy Bri-Bri, I imagine any parent who was brain damaged enough to bring their spawn to the concert were thrilled your choice of words!

"Mommy, what did Brittany mean, what is hanging out?"

"Well Madison-Ashley... um... well honey, I guess Brittany must have brought her kitty cat to the concert and it got out"

"Where mommy? I can't see a kitty..."

"Never mind sweetie. You have an early soccer practice tomorrow, maybe we should be heading home"

"But mommy, I want to see Brittany's pussy cat!"

On a positive note: my flying monkeys just adored this outfit:

It does look vaguely familiar....

The Diva is hoping to complete her mail-order psychiatry degree before little Sean and Jayden hit the age of 12. If I can get a group session put together for Sean, Jayden, Suri, Blanket (and the other Wacko Jacko kids) and maybe one or two other nucked up celebrity spawn I will be in champagne and caviar for the next hundred years....

Breaking News: OctoMom is nucking futs. Whoddathunk?

agingdiscodiva@yahoo.com (The Aging Disco Diva) — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 15:00:00 +0000

Well you could have knocked me off my goldfish filled platform shoes with a boa feather....

Shocked! Shocked! Shocked, I tells ya'!!:

Second Octomom Publicist Calls it Quits

For the second time in less than a month Nadya Suleman has had a ~~carnie barker~~ publicist quit her obstetrical circus and run for the hills.

Her latest ~~shill~~ Public Relations Representative ~~decided money wasn't everything and ran like the wind~~ filed his walking papers after spending less than a month representing the ~~kook~~ mom and her ~~asylum prisoners~~ children, Usmagazine.com is reporting.

"It just got to be too much," Victor Munoz told Usmagazine.com. "It's pretty much a free for all over there right now."

Suleman, who is 33 and unemployed, said in early February that she lives off of food stamps and intended to use student loans to help finance her 14 children (Because, sheyat...we all know that Perkins Loans are meant to used for disposable diapers...why waste the money on someone who may actually want to get a degree???)

"I am providing for my children. I am," Suleman said on the "Today" show on Feb. 10. "And that will probably run out by the time I go back to school. So I have my won way. It's an alternative way, but it works."

Hmmm.....the diva does not keep up on the latest street slang--is "alternative way" another way of saying "bat sheyat crazy with a side order of foaming at the mouth"?

"Nadya got real greedy. This woman is nuts," he told Usmagazine.com.

It took you almost a forking month to figure this out Mr. Munoz?????? Holy carp----not the sharpest cuchillo in the draw are we?

The woman thinks her vajayjay is a clown car...or an ATM....

Octomom is nuts....what breaking news is next? Man on the moon? Truman beats Dewey?

Losing El Kansas is a Plus!

agingdiscodiva@yahoo.com (The Aging Disco Diva) — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 04:00:00 +0000

Colbert's Doom Bunker!!

"I am going to propose some horrific scenarios...let me be clear--we are not looking for solutions, we just want to talk about how horrible it would be...."

Scenario #1...the year is 2012 and:

The Dow is below 1,000
Unemployment is 40%
There is an armed insurrection in El Kansas

Scenario #2...the year is 2014 and:

The Dow is under 250 points
The Koala Pox Epidemic has wiped out all the livestock
Our currency is soy beans
We have a werewolf congress

Scenario #3....the year is 2019 and:

The US auto industry is gone
Every car in America is a Decepticon...evil robots in every garage

Colbert Report Full Episodes

Scenario #4, is the scariest...the year is 2012 and:

President Obama's policies have worked
Pulling out of the Iraq War was the right thing to do
The stimulus plan has the Dow rebounding to around 12,000
People's faith in the government is restored

"Stephen Moore---what are you going to do? It's gun in the mouth time for you, right?"

Lest you think that our New Galactic Overlord pulled this skit out of thin air, or his butt, he was just copying the format of another news show:

Beck's WAR ROOM!!

"I know some people say you're an unstable individual and to give you a public forum is grossly irresponsible, but remember... they crucified Jesus!"

Colbert Report Full Episodes
Political Humor

Rap Battle
Joke of the Day

Our New Galactic Overlord

agingdiscodiva@yahoo.com (The Aging Disco Diva) — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 01:28:00 +0000

We have a new Galactic Overlord...and our Overlord has a much better sense of humor than Scientology's Galactic Overlord:

Here is a message from our new Galactic Overlord:

Colbert Report Full Episodes
Political Humor

Rap Battle
Joke of the Day

Our Overlord commands that we vote for NASA to name their Node 3 after him:

Vote for Colbert

Oh Yeah...the "C" in CNBC Stands for COMEDY

agingdiscodiva@yahoo.com (The Aging Disco Diva) — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 16:55:00 +0000

Dontcha' just love listening to all those experts who have all the answers? ....some of the answers? .....a few of the answers?.... none of the answers?..... pull
stuff outta their butts and wing it.....? Yup, that later category seems to cover most of the experts.

If you had been getting your financial advice from CNBC...well, let's face it... if you got your financial advice from CNBC odds are that you are not reading this anyway unless the local homeless shelter has some community computer access.

Leave it to Jon Stewart to point out the unintentional Comedy in CNBC:

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

CNBC Gives Financial Advice

Daily Show Full Episodes
Important Things With Demetri Martin

Political Humor
Joke of the Day

Laughing all the way to the bank....oh my...poor choice of words

If She Comes Bearing Test Tubes, Run Forrest, Run!

agingdiscodiva@yahoo.com (The Aging Disco Diva) — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 07:37:00 +0000

Not the brightest crayon in the package

One of Octo-Mom Nadya Suleman's ex-boyfriends claims he could be the father of her 14 kids because she asked him for sperm donations while they were dating. Denis Beaudoin says he thought it was "out of the ordinary" when she asked him to donate.

Ya think?

If your girlfriend gives you a box of empty test tubes for your birthday and asks for a little something to be deposited in each, you need to do more than think it was "out of the ordinary"

Sheyat, even if she wrapped in a pretty box with a sparklie bow-- it ain't natural son.....You need to run like the wind! You need to run Forrest, run! Run for your life! Get the hell out of Dodge, cowboy!

Your woman ain't dealing with a full deck of cards.

The Aging Disco Diva managed to give birth to two divettes and a little divo in the time span of a little over seven years. I consider it one of my greatest accomplishments that none of them turned out to be an ax murderer (yet) and all three survived, despite my best attempts at mothering, with a minimum of deep psychological scarring. Why didn't the Diva have herself a litter of kids like the Octo-Mom? Maybe it's because I learned a very valuable lesson early in life, one I think of every time I hear about Ms. Suleman:

The Diva Dishes Oscar

agingdiscodiva@yahoo.com (The Aging Disco Diva) — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 06:24:00 +0000

The funniest Oscar bit last night:

"You look like you work at a Hasidic meth lab".... Ok, maybe you have to be from the east or west coast to fully appreciate that line, but dee-yam, that was funny. Steve Martin and Tina Fey were quite funny too. If I can find the clip online I will put it up here later on.

Another Oscar note--it might be hard for you young pups to know that this:

Used to be this:

Mickey Rourke was quite the hunk...sigh...Honestly, can you think of a better visual to illustrate "Just say No"???

All in all this year's Academy Award ceremony was pretty good. There was a minimum of "cringe" moments that forced me to run for my remote control, which is a big improvement over past years. The only "make it stop, make it stop" segment was the tribute to Jerry Lewis...yes, he has raised a planet load of money for a good cause, but heaven help me, I cannot stand the man. Unspeakable torture for the diva would be wall to wall reruns of Dancing with the Stars starring the Dread Pirate Heather Mills, The Denise Richards reality show and anything with Jerry Lewis in it. If I am ever captured by the enemy hot coals can be applied to the bottom of my feet and bamboo sticks shoved upside my fingernails and I would hold firm...but show the opening credits to any Jerry Lewis movie and I will spill my guts. The minute Jerry's name was invoked last night I made a mad dash for the remote control, frantically punched at the mute button, put my fingers in my ears, turned my back to the TV and began singing every verse of "Don't eat the yellow snow" at the top of my lungs.

My overall take on the show: I could have eaten Hugh Jackman with a spoon, I think I have a new crush. He did a wonderful job proving that charm and good looks can go a long way to making what is usually a snore-fest pretty watchable.

Jennifer Aniston looked like she had taken a dip...or two...or three... of something-something before the show. She looked pretty shredded around the edges. The Diva was really hoping that she would suddenly stop in the middle of her praddle on stage, look in to the audience, and let out a blood curdling scream: "You skinny beeyotch, you stole my husband!" Doing a superman leap, with arms outstretched she would hurl herself off the stage and land on top of Angelina. The world would get to watch Live! From Hollywood! the two lollipop head scarecrows rolling around the ground while Brad stands back watching the action with a little smirk on his face. Granted I am firmly in "Camp Jolie" because I think Jennifer is a whiny Winnie who loves to play the "Woe is me" card, but still....that would have been GREAT TV!

Cheers!

Dancing with the.....???

agingdiscodiva@yahoo.com (The Aging Disco Diva) — Sat, 21 Feb 2009 19:52:00 +0000

Well the Diva has hopefully quelled the flying monkey rebellion that took up so much of her precious time this year (well, that and my 30 day court ordered vacation at Casa de Los Aging Borrachos... one can never be too careful about one's health...)

Since I missed the ~~gimmicky and trite~~, fresh and clever way ABC chose to unveil who will be appearing on this season's "Dancing with the Stars" in between commercials for flatulence relief medicine and babies talking about their stock portfolios (quell quaint, and just a tad bit out of touch, but I digress) I had to depend on their press release to discover which stars will be twirling on the dance floor.

So here it is:

The coveted mirrorball trophy is up for grabs once again as 13 superstars prepare to team up with professional dancers and face off on television's hit ballroom competition, "Dancing With the Stars."

Oh boy! Superstars!!! The Aging Disco Diva can scarcely keep the pink umbrella in her drink. SUPERstars....not just plain ole' run-of-the-mill stars, but SUPERSTARS!

Goody, goody...who are the superstars this season?

Ty Murray (I am allergic to C & W music so don't really know who he is)
Jewel (Please see the notation above....)
Steve Wozniak (all the iPod money in the world ain't gonna help)
Chuck Wicks (Holy carp...see Ty Murray and Jewel above)
Belinda Carlisle (Battle of the 80's has beens)
David Alan Grier (Please see Belinda Carlisle above...but he is seriously funny so I give him a pass and I select him as the front runner of the male contestants.)
Shawn Johnson (Just hand the child the Mirrorball trophy right now. The old farts do not have a chance)
Lil' Kim (Will Lil' Kim be able to dance with so much clothing on? If Shawn were not in the competition Lil' Kim would be the favored among the female contestants)
Steve-O (Stupid-O, Dumb-O, Let's see how long the brainless legions keep him on the show)
Lawrence Taylor (LT was a god on the football field, but let's face it--he is only two friggin' years younger than the Aging Disco Diva...and it appears he and Steve Wozniak are better suited to compete in a hot dog eating contest than a dance competition)
Gilles Marini (Seriously...WTF is he? I had to google him. I guess if he recreates his role as "the naked guy" it will perk the Diva right up, but he is a total unknown for me)

and.....

Denise Richards

Yes, Denise Richards.

WTF? Where are the superstars? I thought they scraped the bottom of the barrel last year when they allowed Dread Pirate Heather Mills to burn my retinas out....

but what is worse than the Dread Pirate Heather? The Dread Pirate WannaBe: Insane Barbie Denise Richards.

I was forced last season to TiVo every episode so that I could skip any part of the show that might, just might, show the Harpy from Hell---and now this year they are featuring her evil twin? And what in the hell is she doing on ABC??? Doesn't she have a third rate reality show to appear on? Who is going to spend thirty solid minutes per episode treating everyone like dirt, cuss like a 2 bit hooker and live in the filth that comes with five billion crapping, yapping dogs?

In a recent interview she gave about her upcoming appearance on "Dancing with the Stars" she shared that all she really wants from this experience is not to humiliate herself. Ummm Denise....IT'S TOO LATE. You've been there--done that, a looooooong time ago sweatheart. In an interview she gave to People Magazine, I swear to all that is holy, she actually said: "All I hope is that I don't embarrass my girls!" Holy carp on a stick....as soon as your cherubs learn to Google you can throw that concern right out the double-wide trailer window. The Diva is taking bets on how quickly she brings the ~~props~~ daughters on the show. If she sucks like a lemon we may see them front and center before the second commercial.

Seriously, as much as the Diva loves her trash TV I might have to skip "Dancing with the ???s" this season.

Farewell Cousin Clem

agingdiscodiva@yahoo.com (The Aging Disco Diva) — Sun, 08 Feb 2009 23:02:00 +0000

The Aging Disco Diva was so sad to hear about the passing of her cousin Clemente. I have so many great childhood memories of times spent getting into trouble with him and my cousins Julie and Victor,at their family home in New Jersey. He was fun, flamboyant and had an impact on me that he probably never fully knew. His work as an activist will live on.

Watch the Inauguration here!

agingdiscodiva@yahoo.com (The Aging Disco Diva) — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 14:20:00 +0000

Getting for the Party to Begin....

agingdiscodiva@yahoo.com (The Aging Disco Diva) — Sun, 18 Jan 2009 21:39:00 +0000

The Aging Disco Diva has her best platform disco shoes on, an oversized pitcher of her newest favorite beverage: Obama-Mama (Vodka, Kahlua, Coconut Liquer, and Milk) and is ready for the par-tay to be begin.

Out with old....

and in with the new....

If you aren't lucky enough to get Tuesday off maybe you can watch the Inauguration online here live:

Remembering Soft Corinthian Leather with Much Fondness.....

agingdiscodiva@yahoo.com (The Aging Disco Diva) — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 22:18:00 +0000

One of my favorite celebrity GILFs (grandfather I'd like to get frisky with) has passed away. As my regular readers know the Diva would get leg tingles and see sparklebursts at the thought of Ricardo caressing soft Corinthian leather.

And when I saw him playing Khan Noonien Singh on the original Star Trek series and of course in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan I began to fantasize about geriatric bad boys (He was over 60 years old by then....but still a yummy dish of man)

Now I will admit I have a thing for hot hunky latinos (My own Aging Disco Divo is quite the GILF too) but ya gotta' admit.... wow

Ricardo Montalban dies at 88

By BOB THOMAS
The Associated Press
Wednesday, January 14, 2009; 4:23 PM

LOS ANGELES -- Ricardo Montalban, the Mexican-born actor who became a star in splashy MGM musicals and later as the wish-fulfilling Mr. Roarke in TV's "Fantasy Island," died Wednesday morning at his home, a city councilman said. He was 88. Montalban's death was announced at a meeting of the city council by president Eric Garcetti, who represents the district where the actor lived. Garcetti did not give a cause of death.

"The Ricardo Montalban Theatre in my Council District _ where the next generations of performers participate in plays, musicals, and concerts _ stands as a fitting tribute to this consummate performer," Garcetti said later in a written statement.

Montalban had been a star in Mexican movies when MGM brought him to Hollywood in 1946. He was cast in the leading role opposite Esther Williams in "Fiesta." He also starred with the swimming beauty in "On an Island with You" and "Neptune's Daughter."

A later generation knew Montalban as the faintly mysterious, white-suited Mr. Roarke, who presided over an island resort where visitors were able to fulfill their lifelong dreams. "Fantasy Island" received high ratings for most of its 1978-1984 span on ABC television and still appears in reruns.

In a 1978 interview, he analyzed the series' success:

"What is appealing is the idea of attaining the unattainable and learning from it. Once you obtain a fantasy it becomes a reality, and that reality is not as exciting as your fantasy. Through the fantasies you learn to appreciate your own realities."

Montalbán was born in Mexico City, the son of Ricarda Merino and Jenaro Montalbán, a store manager. He had a brother, actor Carlos Montalbán, and a sister, Carmen. He was a practicing Roman Catholic and once had said that his religion was the "most important thing" in his life. He remained a Mexican citizen by choice, having never applied for American citizenship.

He married Georgiana Young, an actress, in 1944; they had four children. She was half-sister of the actresses Sally Blane, Polly Ann Young, and Loretta Young, who nicknamed her "Georgie". After 63 years of marriage, Georgiana Young de Montalbán died on November 13, 2007, at the age of 84.

Montalbán died on January 14, 2009 in Los Angeles, California, at the age of 88. His cause of death has not yet been identified.

Career

Montalbán has stated that when he first arrived in Hollywood, studios wanted to change his name to Ricky Martin. He has frequently portrayed Asian characters - mostly of Japanese background (as in Sayonara and the Hawaii Five-O episode "Samurai"). His first leading role was the 1949 film Border Incident, with actor George Murphy. During the 1950s and 1960s he was one of only a few actively working Hispanic actors.

Many of his early roles were in Westerns in which he played character parts, usually as an "Indian" or as a "Latin Lover". In 1950, he was cast against type, playing a Cape Cod police officer in the film Mystery Street. In 1957, he played Nakamura in the Oscar-winning film Sayonara.

From 1957 to 1959 he starred in the Broadway musical Jamaica, singing several light-hearted calypso numbers opposite Lena Horne.

In 1975, he was chosen as the television spokesman for the new Chrysler Cordoba. The car became a successful model, and over the following several years, was heavily advertised; his mellifluous delivery of a line praising its "soft Corinthian leather" upholstery, often misquoted as "rich Corinthian leather", became famous and was much parodied, and Montalbán subsequently became a favorite subject of impersonators. Eugene Levy, for example, frequently impersonated him on SCTV. In 1986, he was featured in a magazine advertisement for the new Chrysler New Yorker.

Montalbán's best-known television role was that of Mr. Roarke in the television series Fantasy Island, which he played from 1978 until 1984. For a while, the series was one of the most popular on television, and his character as well as that of his sidekick, Tattoo (played by Hervé Villechaize), became pop icons.

Another well known role was that of Khan in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, which was a reprisal of his role in the 1967 episode of Star Trek entitled "Space Seed". There were some questions initially as to whether Montalbán had prosthetic muscles applied to his chest during filming of Star Trek II to make him appear more muscular. Montalbán and others associated with the production of Star Trek II have disputed this, most notably Leonard Nimoy in his book I Am Spock, citing the fact that he was always physically active and worked out regularly, and those really were his muscles. The theory that those chest muscles were Montalban's own is furthered by an episode of the Biography series about him, in which both William Shatner and Montalban's son say Ricardo worked out strenuously to achieve that look. Film clips and shots throughout the episode bolster these claims, as they evidence a man in fine physical shape even into the 1970s.

Montalbán appeared in many diverse films including The Naked Gun as well as two films from both the Planet of the Apes and Spy Kids series. In addition, he appeared in various musicals, such as 1966's The Singing Nun, also starring Debbie Reynolds. Over the course of his long career, he played lead roles or guest starred in dozens of television series. Since 1993, Montalbán had to use a wheelchair after a long-unresolved spinal injury from the 1951 film Across the Wide Missouri recurred. In filming though, Montalban was reportedly thrown off a horse, knocked out, and walked on by another horse, leaving him with a spinal injury that troubled him for the rest of his life and grew more painful as he aged. In 1993, he underwent surgery, but it only made the pain worse. Montalban continued to work, usually delivering his lines from a wheelchair.

Adios, Don Ricardo.

Cats Pluck the Jayhawks

agingdiscodiva@yahoo.com (The Aging Disco Diva) — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 06:22:00 +0000

Some Wildcat news

I just love it when our Wildcats give those chickenhawks a beating ...and our women's basketball team did it in more ways than one this Saturday.

It was a good old fashioned butt whuppin': 72-39

Cats Crush the Crows

MANHATTAN, Kan. (AP) - Shalee Lehning had 14 points and 10 assists to help No. 20 Kansas State open defense of its Big 12 title with a 72-39 victory over rival Kansas on Saturday night.

Kansas State (14-0) is off to the best start in school history and has matched its second-longest winning streak, three behind the record set in 1981-82. The Wildcats have won nine straight home games.

Ashley Sweat scored 18 points, most coming on assists from Lehning, who also had six rebounds. Marlies Gipson anchored the defense, blocking five shots to give Kansas State its 15th win in 16 games against its in-state rival.

Kansas (11-3) had won four straight, but struggled mightily against the nation's best scoring defense, scoring a season-low in points and shooting 32 percent. Sade Morris was the only Kansas player in double figures with 12 points.

Lehning was at her do-it-all best early, knifing inside for shots under and around defenders' arms, driving and dishing to 3-point shooters on the wings. She set up Gipson for an easy basket midway through the first half by wrapping a bounce pass around a Kansas defender and later whipped a no-look pass to Sweat for another layup.

Lehning, the nation's assists leader (9.2), had eight by halftime, including three straight to Sweat in the closing minutes to put the Wildcats up 39-21.

It wasn't just Lehning. Kansas State played a near flawless first half, shooting 17-of-33 from the floor with just two turnovers, holding the Jayhawks to 9-of-24 shooting while forcing 11 turnovers.

The Wildcats continued to put pressure on Kansas in the second half, continuing to drive agressively to the basket, forcing difficult shots at the other.

Lehning was still going even with the game out of reach, racing the length of the floor then diving to save a loose ball off a defender - with 5:35 left and Kansas State leading 63-34.

Tuesday our men's team will take the baton and proceed to beat the whine and cheese crowd to the east. Yeah baby, it is that time of the year!

And to get us all in the mood, let's just watch some highlights from last year:

The Diva never gets tired of watching that....

My Academy Award Choice

agingdiscodiva@yahoo.com (The Aging Disco Diva) — Sun, 28 Dec 2008 23:38:00 +0000

Where more can be said? When you combine Billo having a meltdown while we get Rick Rolled into one brief masterpiece--- there better be an Academy Award for this. It has everything: it makes us laugh, it makes us cry, it makes us want to buy a nice new loofah, it makes us hungry for a big bowl of felafel... or it just makes us want a stiff drink. It has more symbolism than a Ingmar Bergman film while fully explaining the meaning of life...or perhaps those damn flying monkeys spiked my spiked eggnog after I spiked it. Hiccup.

I leave you with these haunting lyrics...

The Aging Disco Diva is:

Never gonna give you up (unless the price is right)

Never gonna let you down (unless she has imbibed too much to hold anything up)

Never gonna run around and desert you (No one runs around in 16" platform shoes...No one)

Never gonna make you cry (that is what flying monkeys are for)

Never gonna say goodbye (She prefers a heartfelt "Adios sucker")

Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you (well dammit..which one do you want? a lie and you don't get hurt, or the truth and you get crushed?)

Cheers!

Happy Festivus!! The Airing of Your Grievances....

agingdiscodiva@yahoo.com (The Aging Disco Diva) — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 21:19:00 +0000

Welcome, new comers. The tradition of Festivus begins with the airing of grievances. I got a lot of problems with you people! And now you're gonna hear about it!

Well today is that most important of events, the Festivus, and in keeping with tradition the Aging Disco Diva will begin the airing of grievances:

Flying Monkeys (aka: political pundits) during the past year you have disappointed me in the following ways:

The election is over, stop with the damn pooh flinging and the mudslinging. You wallowed in the making of mountains out of political mole hills this election season and the sheer wave of crapitude that was sent hurling our way was breath taking. All the Diva needs is a palace without monkey pooh flingage (or Karl Rove) stuck up on the walls. That's all I need.

KSU sports administration during the past year you have disappointed me in the following ways:

Is it too much to ask for both a winning football and basketball program? I mean, come on. You are such a bunch of teasers...you give us a great football program but punished us with Tan Tom/Wooly basketball programs and when we beyotched about it you give us a great basketball program and Ron football. Thank goodness our women's basketball team maintains a standard of excellence. All the Diva needs is a winning football and basketball program, and a palace without monkey pooh flingage (or Karl Rove) stuck up on the walls...and this ashtray, this paddle game, this remote control, these matches, this lamp, and this chair. That's all I need.

Cheers!

Shoes and Senate Seats at a Sale Near You!

agingdiscodiva@yahoo.com (The Aging Disco Diva) — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 03:52:00 +0000

Iraq Shoe Throwing Store - watch more funny videos

Ok, this next clip is very offensive in content, in language, in sentiment...so why did the Diva laugh so hard that she fell off her platform shoes? Well, because she is too twisted for color TV (both analog and digital....)

NOT safe for work-- you have been warned:

Governor Rod Blagojevich's Illinois Blowout Sale - watch more funny videos

Zuzu Bailey: Look, Daddy. Teacher says, every time a bell rings a con man finds a mark.

George Bailey: That's right, that's right.

George Bailey: Attaboy, Blago!

Duck! Lame Duck!

agingdiscodiva@yahoo.com (The Aging Disco Diva) — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 02:28:00 +0000

He was the Laurel to his Hardy....

agingdiscodiva@yahoo.com (The Aging Disco Diva) — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 15:23:00 +0000

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c
Hall & Oates Pay Tribute to Alan Colmes

Barack Obama Interview
John McCain Interview
Sarah Palin Video
Funny Election Video

Anytime you need a token liberal
Nothin' but a body to fill a chair
The barest shadow of a person
Alan Colmes is always there.

But all those years of non-existence
Can really run a person down.
Now he's leaving Hannity forever
Alan, please don't go!
You're the only non-douchebag on that show
He's gone. Bye bye,
Oh why
He was the Tango to his cash
And he's gone.
Oh why
To the extent
That I hadn't noticed he was there
But he's gone.
Oh why
What went wrong?
He's gone. Bye bye
Oh why?
He was the Laurel to his Hardy
He's gone
To spend
More time
Not being seen with his family
He's gone
What went wrong?

The Diva just hopes that Mr. Colmes will now be able to retrieve what he had to place in a blind trust when he started on Hannity & Colmes: his manhood.

Talking.... my second all time favorite activity

agingdiscodiva@yahoo.com (The Aging Disco Diva) — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 17:23:00 +0000

Because the last thing I want to do is screw Hillary....

Saturday Night Live has been more miss than hit these last few decades...but they do come up with some wicked political skits once in a while.

I must admit this latest Tina Fey skit is just too ridiculous, too outrageous, too unbelievable. I mean, come on--who would be so stupid as to conduct an interview about pardoning a turkey while Hannibal Lecter was in the background recreating the "Silence of the Lambs"?? Ha ha ha ha ha...

WhatchutalkinboutWillis??? This wasn't a Saturday Night Live skit??? That wasn't Tina Fey, it was Sarah Palin....you mean that was REAL?

Clarice: I heard a strange noise.

Hannibal: What was it?

Clarice: It was... screaming. Some kind of screaming, like a child's voice, and a shrill nasally voice.

Hannibal: What did you do?

Clarice: I went downstairs, outside. I crept up into the barn. I was so scared to look inside, but I had to.

Hannibal: And what did you see, Clarice? What did you see?

Clarice: Turkeys. The turkeys were screaming. And Sarah Palin was talking.

Hannibal: They were slaughtering the Thanksgiving turkeys?

Clarice: Yes, and they were screaming while Sarah Palin talked about levity.

Hannibal: Well, Clarice - have the turkeys stopped screaming?

Clarice: Has Sarah stopped talking?

November's Nattering Nabob's of Negativism

agingdiscodiva@yahoo.com (The Aging Disco Diva) — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 22:29:00 +0000

Wow, what a November. The political part of it went great, work's not too bad, but football season?

How can I best describe what I have been experiencing this football season?

Well it started out this way:

Then progressed to:

Quickly slid into:

And has settled into:

Yes this football season has been as much fun as having a root canal done on one end and a hemorrhoidectomy performed on the other, without the aid of pain killers and mass quantities of alcohol. It has been BRUTAL. Two weeks ago the Diva thought she was having bad drug flashbacks to the 70s when getting a field goal in the midst of a 69-3 arse whupping was cause for a celebration.

Back then we were able to carry in flasks and six packs full of happy juice in to the games....this year we Wildcat fans had to watch it sans pain killers. Oye vey.

Our coach, Ron Prince, got the hook two weeks ago and like Ole George Bush he is a lame duck. We may or may not have a new coach...or we may have had a coach but when the story got out he may have gotten pissed and may or may not be coming. Or we may or may not have our previous coach coming back out of retirement or he might not be. Hell, I may or may not be the queen of the solar system (but I am the queen of the whole damn universe) or I might not be. Sigh. Two more games left in the season. Please make it stop

On a much brighter note, basketball season kicks off this weekend. The men and women play tonight.

Ghosts--The Diva's treat for you'all

agingdiscodiva@yahoo.com (The Aging Disco Diva) — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 16:56:00 +0000
Here is the Aging Disco Diva's little Trick or Treat for my readers. You will want to watch it in full screen by clicking on the screen icon next to the audio icon at the bottom of the authorscreen viewer (it does not render correctly otherwise) It is about 7 minutes long and does have some music at the end!

Uploaded on authorSTREAM by ny2ks

Happy Halloween!! And get out and VOTE!

Decided by the Undecideds?

agingdiscodiva@yahoo.com (The Aging Disco Diva) — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 00:10:00 +0000

This may all come down to that most mysterious of all creatures: the person who, after being inundated 24/7 with information, robocalls, mailings, etc., is still not sure who they will vote for with the election one week away:

.

A tiny speck of blue in a sea of red

agingdiscodiva@yahoo.com (The Aging Disco Diva) — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 06:14:00 +0000

The Aging Disco Diva lives in the reddest of the red states but there is one tiny oasis of blue out in the eastern part of the state. Strangely enough it happens to be the home of my much hated college rivals. I was there on business last Friday and was pleasantly shocked to see all the lawn signs and bumper stickers that were in support of my candidate. I will, in any case, be so glad when this whole election cycle is over. It seems that just when I think it could not get any politically dirtier (or dumber) some political talking head (or intellectually constipated reporter/radio talk show host/TV arss-hat) proves that there is no limit to the slime and stupidity we Americans can come up with when we put our minds to it.

The country will need to take a long hot shower and scrub the political sheyat off on November 5th and until then I am nervous about what else is going to be excreted in to the airways.

So while I am holding my breath and keeping my fingers crossed until November 4th let's have some chuckles:

Who is that guy????

The original Thriller jacket on eBay...

November 4th cannot come quick enough.....

Clean as a Whistle

agingdiscodiva@yahoo.com (The Aging Disco Diva) — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 03:21:00 +0000

It took 48 hours of trial and error because I, and many of you, never could reproduce the pop-ups that Entrecard was seeing but when I removed my visitor "Geocounter" I was told there were no more pop-ups, so the Aging Disco Diva's blog is now:

It was a hell of a weekend. My beloved Wildcats lost...again...and I spend my whole damn weekend trying to get the pop up issue resolved so that I could get out of Entrecard Jail. Not fun, but the guys at Entrecard were able to steer me in the right direction.

Unfortunately I lost two+ weeks worth of Entecard ads scheduled to appear on this blog, all of the ads I had scheduled to appear on other blogs and my Entercard advertisement value is...shall we say....cheaper than a two bit hooker. Ten months of hard work down the toilet. I did retain my E.C. credits so it was not a complete loss.

At least I have a couple of hours to relax until going to bed and then starting my work week:

Don't worry, I am not inhaling.

POP UPS??? I need your help.....

agingdiscodiva@yahoo.com (The Aging Disco Diva) — Sun, 19 Oct 2008 00:27:00 +0000

Entercard is insisting that I have pop-ups on this blog, but I do not. I need your help. If you are seeing a pop-please send me an email and leave a comment letting me know EXACTLY what you are seeing. This is starting to get under my skin......

UPDATE:

Thank you to everyone who is letting me know what you are seeing as far as pop-ups ... It all helps, even if one of the comments did sting--I guess it is part of my penitence.

The problem is somewhere in this blog, not with Entecard but I can't figure out where. I have not added pop ups to my blog (dear lord, I have no idea how) I will continue to slog on trying to figure out what is causing this.

I owe Entrecard a public apology: they were correct, I was not. I deleted my previous blog entry placing blame on them, it was unwarranted.

Again, thank you to everyone who is earnestly supplying constructive tips, I appreciate it. I was starting to run out of energy and ideas.

2nd update:

So far only the Entrecard people and Turnip (another blogger) saw pop-ups. Everyone else (at least 30 as of about midnight) have said via email and Twitter that they have never seen pop-ups here so I am completely stumped as to why a couple of people are consistently seeing popups and everyone else is not. Thank you to all who are sending me reports, it is appreciated. It is hard to figure out what to do because I am not seeing anything but I will keep working at it. The Diva is exhausted and needs to sleep on this.