Bosalyn Bombowski

When in France.. wear dirty underwear?

2011-10-18T17:31:00.000-07:00

Race Updates:

Grand Columbian Triathlon 70.3 put on by TriFreaks

photo link of me Running to the finish
1st place overall with a time of 05:09:19. It was a beautiful course, absolutely amazing! The swim was treacherous, with dam waters creating waves so great that my head didn't come out of the water very often... but TriFreaks put a spotting line underneath the water for the swimmers to follow and not get lost. The bike course - my favorite - 3,633 ft elevation gain for 56 miles, where I maintained 21mph. The run was actually longer than a half, more like 14 miles or slightly more on a mostly flat trail (loose gravel) course with a fairly brutal climb at the finish. My run splits were much slower then I would have liked, but I think I allowed myself to get a little too dehydrated. Being my first 70.3, I am not 100% sure on my pacing either, so I was pretty much wasted on the last few miles of my run. Maybe eating more then 250 calories next time will help as well ;).

France

I put the links to my strava rides, runs, and walks so you could see a map of where I was at, and see all my QOMs ;), which I am pretty proud of! Also, I put links of the campsites we stayed, because if you go to France, it is an awesome way to roll! They have swimming pools, showers, laundry rooms, etc.

9/22/2011 We flew into Nice, and then stayed at Camping du Pylone - a campsite next to Antibes along the coast.

9/22/2011 http://app.strava.com/rides/1731034 - On our bikes right away along the coast.

9/24/2011 On day 2 we climbed Col de la Madone http://app.strava.com/rides/1745499

9/25/2011 Passing through Monaco - Monte Carlo.

9/25/2011 http://app.strava.com/rides/1749795 did a few climbs, ended up being our only day of riding in the rain.

9/26/2011 Ride to Italy - http://app.strava.com/rides/1770550 then did a (brick) run on the beach after http://app.strava.com/runs/1783287

9/27/2011 We got turned around this day, what was meant to be an hour recovery spin... turned into .. http://app.strava.com/rides/1783051

9/27/2011 See all those missing pieces of chocolates?? Yea, Nicky and I totally ate all of those.. we were bonking because we didn't bring enough food for the longer ride!

9/28/2011 http://app.strava.com/rides/1794210 I got to descend this 2x, as I went up the col from 2 different sides.. by accident! (I am the cyclist in the picture! Photo was taken by Nicky.)

9/28/2011 - Right before I took the wrong turn..

9/28/2011 Another shot while riding.. this was one of my favorite days!

9/28/2011 - A common water faucet that was in every centre ville we rode through in France, we filled up our water with these (Note: many of these were stagnant water, so I would make sure you check before drinking the water).

9/29/2011 - Went for an easy spin from Pont Du Gard to Uzes and back http://app.strava.com/rides/1805551

9/29/2011 Pont du Gard - where I did a (brick) run http://app.strava.com/runs/1805774 and climbed up to the top of the aqueduct, then swam in the river after my run before getting back on the bike home.

9/29/2011 On way home from Pont du Gard we stopped in Avignon, where we ended up getting stuck driving through a street in the Papal Palace.. where only the tour trolly was supposed to go.. we ended up coming to poles that we couldn't drive through (we saw the trolly enter a code and the pole goes down underground long enough for the trolly to go through), and called the emergency button where the pole finally went down.. we were a little afraid that the pole was going to go back up the middle of the car as we drove through..

9/29/2011 On top of old centre ville @ Vaison-la-Romaine.

9/29/2011 - Photo taken by our campsite - camping du theatre romain

9/30/2011 Mont-Ventoux - where I was obsessed about getting anther QOM on Strava.. http://app.strava.com/rides/1814222

9/30/2011 - After Ventoux I did a short brick run - http://app.strava.com/runs/2010084, although I didn't run in my sandals, this photo shows the same ground that I ran on!

10/1/2011 - Dead sunflower field on the drive to our next destination - Le Bourg-d'Oisans.

10/1/2011 Just getting done climbing Col d'Ornon http://app.strava.com/rides/1820132

10/2/2011, our Tour de France ride day http://app.strava.com/rides/1833344 where I totally chicked the boys up Col du Galibier by a few minutes ;)!

10/2/2011 Yep, alpe d'huez is where I chicked my hubby Nicky for the 2nd time that day!

10/3/2011 Last day in Le Bourg-d'Oisans talking to Jacques from Barcelona in Spanish (he was backpacking for a year all the way through France) before my second ride up Alpe d'huez http://app.strava.com/rides/1850097

10/4/2011 - In Orleans France where we stayed nearby at http://www.camping-olivet.org/ we ended up driving to the wrong city to meet up with our friends traveling with us the night before, we went to Beon not Beaune (it sounds like Bone), so we ended up driving to our next meet up city in Orleans. Here we got to see where Joan of Arc "Maid of Orleans" lived and had victories during the Hundred Years' War. Here is our walk around http://app.strava.com/walks/2010077

10/4/2011 I got to go for a run before walking the night in Orleans http://app.strava.com/runs/1919142

10/5/2011 - Our visit to Chateau de Chambord.

10/5/2011 - I got to run the Chateau de Chambord grounds http://app.strava.com/runs/2010082

10/6/2011 - Versailles - our campsite was close by http://www.huttopia.com/en/nature-camping-Versailles-france.html

10/6/2011 - Gardens of Versailles "the ballroom" - walking around http://app.strava.com/runs/2010083

10/6/2011 - Walking back from the château of the Petit Trianon where Marie Antoinette would go to escape life.

10/6/2011 We got caught taking a picture of ourselves... our first day in Paris http://app.strava.com/walks/1918946

10/6/2011 - Where we were taking this picture..

10/7/2011 - We walked to the Louvre http://app.strava.com/walks/1918948

10/7/2011 - Then we visited Notre Dame on the walk http://app.strava.com/walks/1918950

10/7/2011 - Eifel Tower at night. We also stayed at this hotel - http://www.hotel-saint-germain.fr/

10/7/2011 After the Eifel Tower we realized it was sort of cold, so we finally took the subway, where I was the only one who got locked out of the gate (my ticket was being retarded, and I had to jump it).

10/8/2011 - Going up the bell tower of Notre Dame.

10/8/2011 Photo of Nicky and I next to the famous Notre Dame bell.

10/7/2011 More Notre Dame.

10/8/2011 - Besides our walk - http://app.strava.com/walks/1918949, we rented from the Paris bike share program - the Velib, and rode down Avenue des Champs-Élysées to the Arc de Triomphe where I almost got hit by a few cars in the roundabout! I guess that's what happens when you try and ride a 300lb city bike in a "9 lane wide but unmarked roundabout freeway"

10/9/2011 was our last day in France.. I miss it already!

Btw.. my blog title "When in France.. wear dirty underwear?" means that in most of these photos, my laundry didn't dry in time and I was either not wearing any, or wearing 3 day old dirty underwear. Hey man, I still always had a clean kit :)!

Last But Not Least...

As you may have read, I got married and upon getting back, finally changed my last name. I am officially "Rosalyn Jane Rombauer Zylkowski" and no longer Rosalyn Jane Rombauer. That is why I changed my blog name to Bosalyn Bombowski, I wanted to keep the spirit of my Bossy name ways.

I must mention though, my name is a little long now.. it didn't even fit all the way on my new driver's license (I got the enhanced driver's license btw, so very cool!).

I am going to be doing a lot more running now that I am back in Seattle. I realized I felt so strong in France cycling, (getting all the QOM's thank you very much!) because I wasn't running like I do normally back home. It really goes to show, cycling makes you a stronger runner, but running a lot makes you a slower cyclist! I can only imagine how strong of a cyclist I would be if I never ran! Too bad I love running and triathlons so much ;)! I guess that's what makes it cool, being a good bike racer even though I am the only elite triathlete in the pelaton!

The Holistic Lifestyle

2011-09-08T14:09:00.000-07:00

In order to perform well, I think there is something more to being an elite athlete then just training. Yes, training, strong support system, and sports technology (i.e.: tt bike vs. mt. bike) have large impacts; but what other things make one better than another? Genetics? Yea some have a naturally higher VO2 max, but you can also build that through specific workouts. I am starting to realize that other things I do give me an edge in my own performance and this might be why I can do longer workouts and recover faster.

First, updates on my racing...

Islander Aquathon II - water transition for the first lap

Islander Aquathon II Long Course - 1st Overall by over 2 minutes!

New photos from previous races..

Hagg Lake - 1st overall

Blue Lake - the tri where I got my broken ribs from in the swim.. Painful I tell you!

Seward Aquathon I - 1st overall

Back to my thoughts...

The Holistic approach to life is something I honestly believe in. People who know me would agree I am slightly "Nazi weird" about what I eat and how "crazy" active I am. Where does my energy come from? I could talk for hours and hours about this, so I will make a list to be the most direct. Oh, but an interesting documentary to watch to sort of "summarize my views"... "Forks Over Knives." Note: I don't think you need to be 100% on everything the movie says (moderation I tell you!), but connect with the overall message that "real is better", and to have a completely healthy lifestyle in all aspects of daily living.

http://forksoverknives.com/. To watch the trailer click on the youtube video I provided!

Essentials.

-There are 2 things that make me a big *B : Sleep and Food.

-Without my 8 + hours of sleep I am grumpy. Without my desired food when I am hungry, I am grumpy.

-Everything in moderation (besides clearly bad things like crack and stuff...)

-Sure, go ahead and have wine a few times a month for special / fun gatherings.

-Sure, go ahead and have some chocolate now and then.

-Sure, go ahead and sit on your butt a few times a month and watch t.v. or do nothing.

-You get my drift?

Food.

-Eat "Real" or at least really try! Ie: stay away from the processed crap! Foods that I think are "bomb"...

-First, I make a LOT of my own foods.

-Carbs: brown rice, sweet potatoes, cous cous, quinoa, oats, granola, home made breads

-Veggies: frozen stir fry or other veggies, bok choy, buy mixed whole heads of lettuce, carrots, tomatoes, avocados, snap peas. I could go on, but those are just a few!

-I have veggies almost every time I eat.

-Fruits: Oh every fruit! I dehydrate bananas a lot.. My husband and I go through about 5 bundles a week.

-Protein: Mostly tofu, occasionally chicken, garbonzo beans, other beans, egg whites and my favorite food is sushi!

-Dairy: Having been vegan for two years in the past (but finally broke down because I love sushi), I rarely eat dairy. I drink soy milk, have a butter phobia (it makes my stomach hurl), don't like cheese, but looove frozen yogurt bars!

-Vitamins: Omega 3, Calcium, Daily, Iron, Vitamin E, Citrucel Fiber tablets (yes my poo is awesome), Vitamin B mix, and Melatonin

-Other things of note: I stay away from using oils, eat chia seeds with every breakfast, love popcorn, and love my home made peanut butter. I hardly ever eat out, and if I do, it is sushi. I don't eat processed food too much, besides my frozen yogurt, and mostly do stir fry and tofu (sometimes chicken) for dinner every night. I honestly think the way I eat gives me the right type of energy, and I never get sick!

-Summary: I stick to things that are real, that doesn't take a factory to make, it just takes some good soil to produce!

Sleep.

-When I don't get 8-9 hours, I feel unable to function. My body needs to recover while sleeping, and I can't do a very good or efficient workout without getting my sleepy time. I take melatonin 30 minutes before I want to fall asleep, and bam I am good to go!

-I find that if I get an extra little amount of sleep 2 days before a race, I feel more rested then normal.

Activity.

-I am a triathlete, and have a well balanced type of exercise regime.

-Run and bike (also hiking) for cardio which keeps me lean and fit.

-Weight training which helps maintain bone density and muscles mass.

-Swimming is also a form of cardio, but I think a form of whole body movement and "weight training" in a way as well. It makes my core and back very strong, and allows my body to move comfortably in a more well rounded way then just a forward rigid motion like running and cycling.

-Stretching: Hey, I can touch my toes, put sunscreen on every part of my own back with my own hands, and do the splits, can you?

-Summary: Having a balance of athletic activities makes all my muscles work, not just over developing a specific part of me... that's why you should all try triathlons! I am not biased by any means ;).

Environment.

-I have to note briefly - resources make a huge difference. Access to a strong support system, coach, training tools (bike, running shoes, nice weather etc), and having a job / career you like are big essentials.

-Clean living.

-Running in clean air is nice isn't it? Making an effort to recycle, compost, choose organic objects, using metro / cycling vs. driving to work make a difference on your health. I like being able to swim in a clean lake, so I must do my part to take care of this earth in order to keep being able to exercise and live in clean places!

-Using reusable grocery bags vs. plastic or paper ones.

-Keeping the old, and buying the used.

-Don't buy new just because you have a hole, get it repaired instead!

Back in 2008 or something, a photo I got taken at the animal shelter with my animals at the time (Celia on the right died that year, but I have 2 more cats now). I mean, how could you not adopt guys like these?!!

-Adopt animals vs. buying from a breeder. All of my animals were adopted (I have 3 cats and a dog), and I couldn't imagine "buying one" when there are so many out there that have been abused. They have kittens and puppies at shelters, so it's not like you have to adopt an old animal if you want the cuteness of a baby. Besides, mixed breads (aka mutts) are less prone to genetic problems. I hear, mixed breed dogs are way better runners too ;).

-Remodel or build Green!

To sum it up, think of yourself in the big picture. Don't just eat right but not exercise, or run ultras and eat large amounts of fast food; but try as best as you can to eat "real", exercise at least 3 days a week, listen to your body's needs (sleep, hunger, off day, stress), and take care of your environment. At least be conscious of it, and you will notice your body performing in ways you never thought imaginable! Ok. That's all I think I will ramble on about now.

Oh, but I will update you on some recent "search keywords" of interest that people have googled and then my blog apparently was linked and read...

-"swimsuit become see through"

-"fasted 40 year old 2 mile time"

-"carbon fiber racing tandem" - I thought it was cool someone searched this!

-and finally a billion hits through "sudden breast growth" or "sudden breast growth in women".

I literally had the most hits ever after my last blog was posted. Interesting egh?! I have a feeling that "The Holistic Lifestyle" will be much less amusing to people... ;).

Sudden Breast Growth Syndrome

2011-08-27T10:29:00.000-07:00

Good ol' Google. Did you know Blogger keeps track of how many people view my page, from what referring urls + sites led to my page, which countries, what browsers, what operating systems, and most importantly - "search keywords" - what people type in the search box that leads to reading my blog. I must share with you now what some people are looking for when they click on my blog.. well, at least my favorites are...

"see through swimsuit hot tub"

"in my picture before i knew him"

"3weeks post broken ribs doing triathlon"

"skinsuit usa"

"blogspot husband skinsuit"

"swimsuit with butt crack pictures"

"i got arthritis after frostbite"

Now, I am wondering.. how many weird "search keywords" will come up with the title of this blog being "Sudden Breast Growth Syndrome".

Speaking of sudden breast growth.. that has actually just happened to me these past few weeks. Maybe this is "TMI" for some readers, but I went from indented negative A's to triple that size (aka I have normal female features now). No, not fake, not implants, the real deal. I had been having really bad chest soreness this past month, and thought it was just being bloated or hormones. Then the week of nationals in a short time of 5 days, my breasts just got larger. Every morning I woke up feeling like my chest was really badly bruised and my back was sore.

Now, most men and women would be like "sweeeeet!" But, it really freaked me out. I mean, my thoughts were - cancer, preggers, tumors, hormonal imbalance etc. I hadn't gained weight, my stomach was/is still cut, just my breasts were growing. I hadn't changed my diet, no change in lifestyle, no stress. Puberty at 25? I called the Dr. crying, they got me in right away and took a whole bunch of tests.

Pee test - not pregnant

mammogram - all clear

My Dr. looks at me and asks questions. Since the growth in my chest was equal and healthy looking (ie: they are good looking for tatas! lol) and there has been no change in my medicine in the last 5 years, she says, "Well, it could be a few things - 1. A random thing of nature that will never give an answer - maybe just how your body was designed to develop 2. Something wrong with your brain - a tumor, problem with the mechanism that releases hormones etc." So she set up a meeting with a neurologist and sent me to the lab to get blood work done. "Results will be back the earliest on Monday".

Well, only two days later I get a call from my Dr., she was able to process my blood tests a lot sooner apparently. She said she had some good news. "Well, I did a blood pregnancy test, just in case the urine test was not accurate (as it is wrong .00001% of the time or something), and you are not pregnant, you don't have any abnormal hormone levels.." and she goes on about what tests she did and how basically everything turned out negative or normal. "So.." I ask, "When will they stop growing?" "There is no way to know." She says.

So I have been making sure Nicky measures me every night - he seems happy about it ;). I guess I will have to live with being a little less "aero" for the time being. I really loved having an "aero" body, and am realizing that I can't run without wearing a bra anymore. The weird thing is, if all of my estrogen and hormone levels have not changed, then what the heck is making my breasts grow?! Also, my weight is still the same, so does that mean my fat cells are just relocating from my butt to my breasts? I don't really have that much "excess" to begin with, so how can one part of me triple in size, and the rest of me still feel / look the same? They (breasts) are still sore, but don't seem to be growing as fast as last week. Hopefully they don't keep growing until they hit my knees.. I mean, I am only 25, and I don't want to be grandma just yet...

So take that Google. Bring on the "before I knew him arthritic creepy frostbitten butt crack picture broken rib husband" seeking person. I can't wait to get a kick out of what "search keywords" people are looking up next!

FYI: my "sudden breast growth" has actually occurred, but no, I will not be posting pictures. You will just have to catch me at the next triathlon I do wearing my form fitting smurf skinsuit...

Broken Baby Black Bird Left Behind

2011-08-12T14:14:00.000-07:00

The old woman walks on her path, the path that she has been walking on for many many years. The path leads to the light that she will soon be overtaken by. She stumbles upon a part of the path where she hears a distressed chirp. Immediately halting to look around her, she squints her old eyes to be able to see the earth. She clutches her cane, and hunches over when she spots the animal in distress. Her spine creeks a bit as she stretches out her wrinkled arm, and her fingers curl in an arthritic nature. She gently swoops up the animal to eye level- a black baby bird, with two broken wings. The bird now is screeching in what resembles a twisted sound of pain and fear. The decrepit women studies the bird evaluating the situation at hand. Does she help this bird? If she does, it in turn would burden her travels on the path, as she struggles enough to make it to the destination already. If she leaves the bird, it would either die, or be helped by another. Her face contorts into an awful look of sadness as she thinks. As if the soul of the baby bird seeps into the women's cusped hand, the wave of energy touches her heart and she sees where the bird's young soul has previously been...

Dangling, the soul's feet could not touch the ground. Gasping for air, any air, just one breath to keep it alive. Pointing the toes, ground, please please touch the ground. The man's hand is around the souls throat, squeezing tighter and tighter. The soul, she thinks at any moment her lungs will soon no longer fill again, no longer fill with life. His eyes pierce into hers with evil, the evil shoots into her sockets, to the back of her skull, down her neck, and straight to her heart. As the evil is filling insider her, she hears over and over again, "You are so fucking ugly". Any happiness that was in the soul now leaves her body through tears dripping off her cheeks. When her last tear is about to fall, her body is thrown down, and reaches the ground before the tear. You could hear the weezing of the soul as her lungs expanded. On her back she laid almost limp, catching as much air as possible. Not more then 30 seconds goes by before she is sat upon, hands around her throat again. The weight of the man crushes her gut to her spine against the floor. She hears a big gurgle of phlegm being built up in the man's throat. The type of gurgle one does on purpose to emphasize the action that is about to occur. Opening up his mouth, his lips form to spit a large wad of saliva directly onto her face...

The old women flinches back as the soul's energy exposed itself. She realizes that the burden of this broken baby black bird is too great, and she must leave it behind. Weeping as she sets the bird back down, her bones creeking again, she continues to walk away never looking back. The bird's distressed chirp is louder then ever before now, but the old women keeps moving, heavily relying on her cane with each step, until she can hear the sound no more.

Every bad memory is like a broken baby bird, hard to leave behind. But sometimes, you must learn to be able to do so, or else you will never be able to touch the goodness that will be. I have come to realize that how you feel inside is what you will get on the outside. At one point in my life I had such a poor self image - feeling I was unlovable, thinking I was never going to be "the best" in sports, feeling ugly.. the list probably hit every negative you could think of. Slowly, I built the love and compassion inside myself to be what it is today. I don't really know what it was that did it specifically, but being around compassionate and good people had a large influence.

This past weekend Nicky asked me to marry him, and (of course) I accepted.

Our shadows kissing right after the proposal.

I don't know how to really say this in a cool way, but I don't think there could be a better love story then what my own heart has experienced with Nicky. We probably have a "whining moment" (usually from me..) every other day, but any disagreement / tiff/ whatever you want to call it, lasts for no more then a few minutes and always ends with an "I love you". I respect him, and I can feel his respect for me.

Every day seems brighter then the last, and every day I move farther from the past.

If anything, I hope the person reading this learns that any negative place you are / were in, if you can just let go of the negativity somehow, and realize you deserve satisfaction and happiness in life, respect from others, love from others, and all other things that are good, I promise what you deserve, you will get with time, self work, and patience.

Love is Merely a Madness

2011-08-04T13:50:00.000-07:00

I recently had a friend email me a question that really made me think.. It essentially asked what I thought love was, and how it made me feel. So I took some time and responded back, and thought it was such an interesting / insightful email, that I would share it with others.

Before I do that though, I will give you some updates on my racing!

TriRock Olympic Distance - 1st place Overall Female - 2:08:47

Nicky and I pre race

getting out of the water

On the bike.

10k run, it was 90% a muddy trail run - fun!

Finish line (my time was off as I was not in the first wave)

Podium w/ some FAST ladies!

Family Photo!

FSA Team Sprint (2 lap aka, 2 x 400 meter laps) @ Marymoor Velodrome

This works by 2 riders do a standing start, the designated rider in front accelerated to build speed for the first lap, then pulls off for the second rider to continue the second lap.

Standing start (I am in the yellow Broadmark kit)

Building up speed

Last Lap

Seafair Olympic Triathlon - 2nd Place Overall Female - 2:02:28

Podium Girls! All blonde!

Paycheck! Wohoo!

Skagit Flats - LWV Circuit Race #1

Sort of lame, but I got my first flat ever in a road race here at mile 9. LAME!

before I got my flat...

Back to that Love topic..

I am basically going to copy and paste my response to the question I was asked,

"I’ve been trying to learn more about love and what other people think love is. Considering your relationship with Nick and the interactions I read about make me smile so much, I’m hoping you can give me some of your insight into love. "

My response,

"Hey!

This is a very intense question! I don't even know where to begin ;). Hmm, this might be a super long response in the makings, I will make sure to save my drafts as I go... lol

I think there are many different types of love, and each person experiences it differently. To someone who has never experienced it before, I would compare it to how everyone has different pain level tolerances, one person may get a paper cut and cry, while another person doesn't think it hurts at all. The older someone gets, the more they can control (ie: hide) their true tolerance for pain (ie: someone breaks their ribs and keeps on racing lol), and the wise are smart enough to recognize whatever pain and adjust their lifestyle accordingly.

I think children are more influenced by love, as their brain is developing neurologically, and it changes the way they are going to perceive love in the future. For example, I think that if a parent abandons a child, the child develops a defense mechanism (sort of like survival skills) to prevent themselves from being hurt in the future (ie: disconnect of resources for basic "survival of the fittest" reasons).

I think young adults also have a crucial impact on their relationship development, and the first relationships one has can influence their "instincts" for any other relationships they have following.

I think love can come and go, and you can love but be unsatisfied at the same time. I think the perfect form of love is "unconditional love", where you will never give up on the person the love is directed towards, as in you always will work with them. I think that you can't have unconditional love unless it is returned, ie: both parties have unconditional love towards each other. As long as that exists, the love will continue unconditionally. This means, you both agree to never leave each other and to always work with each other to have both people satisfied (ie: fair compromise + respect).

I think if you have seen extreme hate, and are capable of letting go of that, you have a more "vibrant" understanding and appreciation towards your own understanding of love as well.

I think because my family was always very loving and encouraging to me and I had friends who were the same way to me as well, I knew what it felt like to have good feelings when I am loved. So, when I loved others, and they did not return the love the way I wanted, the feelings did not sit well, "just did not feel right" and I eventually learned to let go of my feelings to give my love to someone who would deserve and appreciate it more.

Maybe love is all about finding that person who will appreciate your love the best and return that back to you. If you want to think about it more as an investment, cost and benefit. Time + energy = equal or greater return.

I think the reason why I love so much is because of the basic formula of an investment. Take a risk on an investment (give someone your trust / expression of feelings) --- develop / add $ to that investment (give that person your time + energy) --- make money (receive kindness, respect, good feelings, family / children, connection, love etc back). Just like an investment, if you loose money (hurt feelings etc.) hopefully your accountant (family + friends) will advice you the investment is not working, and you should look for a better one. The better your investment / returns (more happiness, love you feel in return) the more and more in love you fall.

Every risk I have taken I have felt unsafe and scared. With Nicky I had this feeling the most because I had such bad returns (bad abuse / relationships) in the past. But, I slowly took more and more risk (opened up more) and put in more (time + energy + effort to make him feel good), I saw SO MUCH in return (his kindness, understanding, patience, and love back). I feel like every time he shows me patience, it makes me love him more. Like every market there is going to be crashes and setbacks (hurt feelings and disagreements), but with good investments (good relationships) you have already seen much more return then loss (love then hate), you are confident your investment will bounce back if you put a little more into it (time + energy).

Ha, so taking away all that comparison, I guess I personally think you can love sooo many people, but you WANT to love certain people more because it feels better in return. When I started opening up to Nicky, he was soo patient which made me feel good, and want to become even more close, and give him more and more because he deserves only the best. I think if he cheated on me, or abused me (crossing a personal boundary I set for myself), or someone else I loved, I would force myself to let go of my love for him. But, I am certain, and trust him that he would never do that, so I have the feeling of unconditional love towards him, and it makes my whole body have a sense of an endorphin rush, or like a wave of happiness you might experience taking a drug, or getting a runners high. I have never intentionally hurt him, but sometimes make mistakes (say something inconsiderate etc), and I feel a deep sadness, and often will cry upon realizing I hurt his feelings. I guess, you know you care about someone / love them, when you get just as upset when they are hurt, as you would if you yourself got hurt.

Love seems almost selfish, because all I want to do is be around people I love, because it makes me feel good. If someone ever says anything I don't like about Nicky / my family / dear friends, I have this deep sense of protection for them, and want to defend them so they don't get hurt. I think I feel the most anger personally, if someone says something negative about my loved ones vs. feeling hurt if someone says something negative to me.

So maybe love makes emotions more "vibrant" then. Considering the topic of love always brings out various opinions and emotions in itself. They have classes on it, seminars, art, poetry, music, films, dinner table talks, even emails debating it every moment of every day. I bet it would be hard pressed to get the exact same opinion on everything that evolves around love.

I have a magnet on my fridge that says "Love is Merely a Madness". I am thinking.. well that makes sense, as most people act mad at some point in their life.

I sent this to Nicky, and he responded with,

"I once heard someone say that when you love someone, you are want to give more than you get in return. Not that you DO give more than you get, but that giving to the person you love feels better than getting in return."

But, I think you only want to give more, or give at all for that matter, if you DO get something in return. From my personal experiences, every time I gave love that was unappreciated / not accepted, it made me feel stupid, lonely, and depressed. But, I am so thankful that I have Nicky to give my love to, because I know it makes him feel good inside, which in turn, makes me feel good inside too.

"It never gets easier, you just go faster"

2011-07-11T15:35:00.000-07:00

I have "verbal diarrhea", yes that's right, verbal diarrhea. It can sometimes get me into trouble.. I will say something without even thinking about it. There is nothing pretty about verbal diarrhea, and usually, it makes me pretty darn embarrassed. Anyways, sort of random, but I wanted to put it out there just so you know. I say this because...

well, before that, I will give a quick update on my triathlon results:
(note: when I say overall, I mean overall female)

6/12/11 : Blue Lake Olympic Triathlon - 3rd overall

Women's 5 Mile Lake Tri - bike leg

Women's 5 Mile Lake Run leg (I took the wrong turn and ended up doing an extra few meters of trail running..)

After the race looking at the initial results!

6/18/11: 5 Mile Lake Women Sprint Tri - 1st overall (I can see my broken ribs!)

6/19/11: Carnation Time Trial Long Course Pro 1/2 women - 3rd

Carnation TT Series Overall: 2nd Place

Photos of my boyfriend and I at Coed Sprint Tri

getting out of water

bike leg (my bike split was 2.5 minutes faster this time around!)

7/2/11: 5 Mile Lake Coed Sprint Tri - I got 1st overall (Nicky got 65th!)

7/10/11: Hagg Lake Olympic Tri - 1st overall
this makes me the TriNW 2011 Olympic Distance Champion!!
For a more detailed report of this race, I am highlighted in - check out - Race Center Magazine: Hagg Lake 2011 Championship

Now, before I get more into the specifics of my verbal diarrhea story I will let you know...

Blue Lake was my first completed triathlon ever! But, only 200m or so into the swim, I got kicked in the ribs and honestly thought I was going to drown.. I completed the race, but only after going through the most suffrage (not the right to vote, but I give it a new definition meaning mass suffering / pain) I have ever experienced in a sport in my ENTIRE life. I remember thinking, "I really suck because this is so hard," "I can't breathe," and "I am going home in an ambulance". Turns out that suffrage was from my being kicked in the ribs breaking 3 of them, which lodged into my heart leaving it contused. After the race I found out I got third and I was completely demoralized, my run split sucked (for me personally) and not only was it bad splits, but it HURT SO BAD while doing it... Even after finding out I was really injured, it was still hard for me to accept my splits.

The next weekend, I pushed myself as hard as I could go for the women's sprint, that hurt too... I was starting to think, "Holy crap, triathlons = SUFFRAGE".

Then raced the 27 mile tt the next day resulting in collapsing afterwards on a recovery ride (where I went to the ER the next day and found out about my ribs and heart)... Took some time off, and am now racing with the goal of learning experience and pacing for more endurance races.

Back to the verbal diarrhea...

At Hagg Lake Oly Tri I was dead set on FORCING myself to keep my HR 20 bpm below my race pace, which I did successfully! But, after I finished, I started to worry about if I should have pushed myself more (you know that little fire that always wants to win).

I had no idea how my results were stacked to everyone else until an hour later during the awards ceremony, where I was standing next the the overall Male winner, who asked me, "Did you have any competition?" My first thought was, "well no", (but not because of performance, just because I started in the elite wave, where there was only 1 other female, and I could not race against any other girls, because they all started 10 minutes later). BUT, I didn't say that, and didn't know what to say, because I am working on not having verbal diarrhea anymore! How horrible would that have come across, saying something like that in front of another competitor.. But, for some reason I have said stupid S like that before, where it comes across soooo wrong, and I sooo did not mean it to! Instead I said something like, "I had a hard time in the swim, going to the wrong buoy, getting turned around and had no idea where I was at in the race, how did your race go?"

Thinking about different levels of athletes by looking at myself leads me to how I really think: "It never get's easier, you just go faster". I feel like just because you are fast, doesn't mean you are necessarily better than anyone else. For some reason, I wish the "pain face" could be the determining factor in who wins and who looses! Some of my best races were not where I won, but where I pushed myself beyond the limit. I am really learning to wipe my face of all the snot, vomit, chunks of food, dirt, etc etc at the end of every race right before I cross the line though, so maybe my photos become more photogenic with time, but it's me just learning how to spot the camera! But, what makes a winner to me, is how hard I can push my limits, and every time I look at my boyfriend's finishing photo of the 5 mile lake triathlon

another photo to remind you of my handsome boyfriend

I think he is a winner! For some reason, I also think he looks really cute in this photo, because of his disheveled look or something, although, I think he HIGHLY disagrees...

Here is a photo of another athlete Vince, who not only is a father of 2 cute 3 year old girl twins, but also a highly competitive triathlete commonly getting fast results. I don't think this face shows anything but winner if you ask me. I bet if you have full time dad, full time job, full time husband added to result standings, Vince would win by at least 15 minutes overall! ;)

I think triathlons are great, because every level of athlete can do it. From those who have never done one before to professionals, all racing together. No matter what your speed is, the effort is what matters, and salud to all those triathletes out there, keep it up!

My TEAM USA skin suit I am wearing for my Triathlon I am doing in France in October!

It's So Dark Outside - Yet - I Can See The Moon..

2011-05-19T13:29:00.000-07:00

It is dark now. The light of the day has ran away and no longer seeps into my bedroom window. The corner shadows of my closet seem to be haunting me, calling me. I grab my cat, my black cat, my big black cat. The type of big black cat who would be picture perfect in a Halloween movie hissing next to a witch. Nestling in my arms his body starts to vibrate from the purring of his throat. His vibration keeps me here, in the place, in reality. Without him here, now, nestled close, I would start to drift.. Drift back to a different place, where there is no moon, where there is no light, where there is no hope, only the night.

For a moment, I let myself drift, keeping in mind that today the moon is out and all I have to do is open my eyes to see it. As I drift, my eyes close, and the movie plays inside my head. Not the type of film that you go to the movie theater to see. No, this film is more like one where you are the lead role. But, like an actor, the lines are already set, the script written, the plot created. The only hope for this film, is that you walk out of the movie before the climax happens. But yet - you so often can't.

The movie begins..

She awakens and opens her eyes to the sound of a screaming voice. You nasty ugly fucking lazy bitch. You left that light on on purpose to wake me up. She apologies profusely, slightly confused at what is happening. It's only slightly after 9, and she fell asleep on the bed, in her clothes completely dressed, because she her body was exhausted from being dragged around the previous night. She soon realizes that she had left the light on from dinner, and that he had fallen asleep on the couch, where the light still reached. You fucking CUNT is all she hears. Staying silent she watches his actions. Her body tightens, her bones shake under her dirty clothes. He grabs her arm up from the bed, immediately leaving a trail of fingerprint bruises. Her heart sinks and she starts to think - how could she have done that to him? How could she have been so bad as to leave the light on and forget about his happiness?

As she is grabbed across the house by him - so that she can turn off the light - she hears more. It's no wonder you have no friends. You are pathetic. You are a loser. You only have friends because of me. No one likes you. How could I be with someone who is such a bitch and that ugly.

The tear drops start to roll down her face. To her, the tears feel more like hail blistering her cheeks. She starts to feel disgusting. The tears make her slightly bold now though. She feels her voice box getting bigger, the letters forming words deep in her throat. She asks him why he didn't just come to the bed to go to sleep.

I can't stand to be around such an annoying cunt all the time. Who would want to even be in the same room as you? At this comment, she starts to think she must be lucky to have someone who would want to be around her for even 2 hours of the day. For some reason, that thought does not make the tears go away. Because of her comment, she was thrown against the wall. Her hip started to throb, pulsating harder than her heart was beating fast it seemed. She had braced herself, and because of this, the anger got worse from him. He grabbed her, picked her up in his arms - holding her under her bottom as if a loving father was carrying her to bed. This was not the same though, because there was no loving father, just a hateful man. He lifted her high, and then with all his force dropped her as hard as he could. Thud. She hits the floor on her now bruised hip. She wondered if her hip was broken, as she could not move her body. She cried for her mother. All she could think of was being in her mother's arms. If only she could get her mother.

He walked away leaving her there. She tried to crawl to her phone. Her body hurt, it hurt so bad, but not as bad as he had hurt her soul. She gave up. She laid there all night while he slept in the bed. When her eyes finally closed, it was only for a moment because the sun had come up and she needed to suck it up, get onto her feet, and go to work. To everyone else - training. While training she had crashed and fell on her hip. Yea, that must have been what happened..

The purring was still there, right on top of my chest, on top of my heart. I opened my eyes, while holding my big black cat, and looked out my window into the moon that was encompassed by night. Even in the complete darkness, there is always a light. I realize, tonight the tears from the movie were real on my face. I look at my Nicky as he is sleeping. He is breathing slowly and softly and heaving his chest up and down. The moon seems to shine a light in a path that I should follow to him. I lay down next to him, and the tears go away as soon as - in his sleep - he hugs me and holds me close in his arms.

Those movies are why it is important to succeed for me. Why I want to be a top triathlete. I want children to look up to me. I want to be able to say, "Nothing, yes - nothing can stop you from your dreams. Whether you are trying to run away from them - or chase them - you will always win when you put your mind and soul into your desired goal."

The Wear Of One's Shoes

2011-05-18T13:46:00.000-07:00

Some people say they can tell how hard your life was by the wear on your hands. The color, the calluses, the calcium deposit markings on your fingernails, the scars, or the arthritis, the amount of nerves you have left after frostbite.. I look at my hands closely, analyzing the tips of my fingers down to the palm just before it hits my wrists. I think to myself.. How many places have my fingerprints left a mark on? How many fingerprints have left their mark on me? I realize now, looking at my hands is not the right way to answer this question. I look down to my feet and notice a gold glimmer that is trying to rise up to my sight. The sun is out today, and for some reason, it has given my shoes a touch of shine.

You know that Olympic athlete, the one who has won multiple medals, broke a few crazy records - Usain Bolt? Yea, he wore these same type of shoes when he won, gold and all. When I watched him set that record on t.v., I noticed his shoes right away, looked down at my feet, and saw I too was wearing those shoes.

I can't remember the exact year I got them, but my mother gave them to me for Christmas (when I was in high school?). They looked so cool when I opened the box. I have never been one for good style, or actually even cared, but these shoes - they were special. I have worn them almost every day since that Christmas morning. They are my everyday shoes, my travel shoes, and now my running shoes. I used to run in heavy shoes, but when I left those at home during a trip to Japan, I tried my gold shoes. They were light, flexible, and most importantly - didn't give me blisters or made my feet hurt. I like to run in grass, on the trail, in the snow.. and these shoes have done well in it all. I like to run in minimalist shoes every once in a while, to help my form and to switch things up, but nothing compares to my gold toes.

As I look at them now intently, the memories of their life play like a movie in the back of my head. They no longer have the gold laces - as triathletes use the quick laces.. reminding me of the day I changed those laces out and decided I was serious about this whole triathlete thing. I mean, so serious that I changed part of my shoes for it.

I touch the fabric of my shoes, feeling the dirt and mud that they collected yesterday from my "experience" of frolicking around an off limits construction sight. Not surprisingly, I forgot how I broke into that acres wide area and ended up getting stuck in some (what felt like) quicksand, that pulled my mid calves under a clay like substance.

My fingers fall upon the patches along the sides of my shoes. Four patches covering four tares. I took those shoes to a shoe repair shop, telling him I needed them fixed that day because I had a run planned the next day. Apparently, that is impossible. I spent more then the shoes were worth to fix them, and just last week the tare started showing again. The patches were just covering the tare of course, the tare was always there, slowly unravelling more of the seam. The patches just hid the destruction going on underneath, but in reality, the patches didn't do jack S*.

Recently the tops started to rip, but not slowly like the others. It seemed like it only took one good run to create a 1.5 inch hole. I wonder how a tare can happen so quickly and become so large. I guess that's life though, so easy to break, but nearly impossible to fix, if fix at all.

From afar you can smell the stench of my shoes, as I don't run in socks. But that is the thing, to everyone else the smell is a repellant, making them untouchable to a normal person. You hold my shoes up to anyone and they will make an "I want to puke all over you" face while distorting their body into some sort of half twitch shrug. Secretly, and I mean don't you dare tell anyone, I like the smell. Not for the smell itself, because that would be weird, but for the feeling it invokes. I know that whenever I wear these shoes my feet will always be safe. I wiggle my toes now, and the shoe wiggles with them. It has become one with my feet. If I wear other shoes I get a slight fear - I will get blisters, my knees might hurt, I won't run as fast, they are too big, they are too small..

Nothing compares to my shoes. Nothing at all.

My Pumas.

I look back to my hands which are now feeling my shoes. I feel you. My hands say to my feet, because they know that very soon my shoes will no longer be able to run anymore with me. Maybe a week, hopefully more like a year, the fact that is looming over my head - these shoes are falling apart. The feel, the smell, the speed will never go away in my brain, but physically my shoes will no longer perform the way I need them to. You can only do so much to save one.

Running has always been my favorite coping mechanism. No form of exercise has ever compared to the sense of freedom running gives. It's just my shoes, the ground my shoes touch, and my soul. When my face is swollen with tears, fiery red with anger, focused and stoic, or just relaxed with a smile, once I take my first stride the spinning of my head, the whirlwind of any thoughts starts to settle like my pace. I can run away from the moment in life in which I want to escape. Nothing restrains me - anytime, anywhere, any weather, all I need is ground to run. Physically running away from any irrationality my mind might have taken me; running somehow brings me back down to earth - grounding me. The adrenaline pumps to give me a "high" that gives me a great source of pleasure.

Those gold shoes spark passion in me, a sense of self, and a connection of symbolism to the world. I look at those shoes now and no longer see the glimmer, although the sun is still strong. I look at these shoes and now see a mirror of myself. A mirror of a stage in my life, part of my past up until this very moment. I smile. I tighten my shoes, stand up, and start running.

The Concept of Dreams.

2011-05-05T16:04:00.000-07:00

Dreams.

Don't most people dream of success while they sleep? Don't they dream of all the good things their life could be, should be, and will be? Don't they snuggle up close to their loved ones at night, close their eyes with a smile on their face, and prepare for their successful thoughts they are about to envision? When they wake, don't they stretch their bodies, sit up on their bed, and plan how they are going to make their dream a reality?

If anyone has ever experienced this sort of sleep experience, I hope you are fully aware of how lucky you are.

I sleep VERY well most of the time, getting deep sleep, where you could shake me with vigor and I still wouldn't wake up. But, every once in a while, I go through periods of time where my dreams get a hold of me. No, they are not dreams, they are classified as "night terrors".

I have had to deal with the nightmares for a while. It's odd because no matter how many times you wake up feeling like you are just about to die and are covered in sweat, it doesn't ever really feel easier. For two weeks leading up to my duathlon, and for a few days afterwards, every night I would get a sinking feeling as the clock ticked closer and closer towards bedtime. It's crazy, because in Reality I know I am safe, but there is this place in my stomach, where all that irrationality sits, that tells me.. no.. screams at me.. differently. Turning the lights off at night when this feeling occurs, sort of feels like it is the switch that says, "Ok Hell, come and get me". Gripping my bedsheets as if the Boogie Monster is coming, I sit and I wait. I wait until either my eyes close, taking me down the stairs to Hell, or the sun saves me.

Whenever my body feels fear, it reacts. My nose fills with snot, and my throat tightens. It sometimes feels as if my body is going through a self-asphyxiation suicide. I wish I could say it is all in my mind, but even the Dr. says it's a typical reaction for trauma victims. Bummer.

Reality.

At least my reality is what most people's Dreams are made of. What was once my reality is now only in my dreams. What is now my reality is what was once only in my dreams. So it's a trade off. If anything, it has taught me a greater depth of what pain really is.

When I am on the bike, running at full speed, or just racing/training with puke chunks hanging out of my mouth.. in my head.. I remind myself how much pleasure this is compared to real pain. Hurling my body into a motivated race, feeling the pain of my legs and carrying the weight of my lungs as they gasp for air is, in a way, silly compared to the pain associated with what my dreams have given me alone. We don't have to even go any further by digging up the past and comparing it.

Upgraded to Cat 2.

My first race in the Pro 1/2 category for cycling was the Pedal Dynamics TT. I nailed it! Got 3rd place, which is exactly the result I was going for. 1st place was PRO cyclist Jen Wheeler (Tibco) and 2nd place was Tricia Bailey (considered one of the strongest non pro cyclists in the NW). I was actually flattered to be able to be scored in the same category as these women. It was a good feeling. I have gotten the chance to race against this category last year and this year, but if I did, was always scored separately. So to me this is a milestone in my life!

Mt. Rainier Duathlon.

Crossing the finish 1st (compliments of http://www.imageartsphoto.com/)

Climbing up Mudd Mt. compliments of imageartsphotos.com

As I was hinting earlier, leading up to this race (which was my "debut" onto the tri scene), I was suffering from some serious sleep issues. Also, the night before was my business' annual auction (which we raised a very good amount!) and so I didn't get home until LATE.

Woke up the morning of the race with that feeling of "death". Ya know, similar to how it feels pulling an all-nighter in college studying for an exam...

I didn't prepare any of my stuff since I got home too late, and so I was franticly running around the house packing my stuff. I made it early enough to the duathlon to get my registration, go poo, and do a 5 min trainer warm up and 5 min run. So essentially, NO warm-up. Wouldn't have been able to do it without my amazing Nicky though! He helped me get ready, made me feel safe and calm, and supported me. Upon getting there, I also saw some of my very dear friends who were there to be racing with me! This made me smile. :).

Going into the first run my goal was to 1. not fall asleep, and 2. do at least 7 min pace. Having no idea what to expect my body being capable of (since I was feeling like so much S*...), I set my standards low for myself so I wouldn't beat myself up afterwards if I didn't perform the way I wanted to.

Run 1: Race starts. I forget about being tired, and weave around to the front running group. I knew that my body recovers well, so I might as well go hard on the first run, and had a good feeling that it wouldn't effect my bike leg. Good call on my part. The first running split is essentially how the final standings came out. After 5.12 miles I pulled off a 6:40 pace, which is not strong for me, but hey, off my (lack of) sleep and no warmup, I am ok with that!

T1: Hmm. Need to work on not spending an hour during transition. Found out as I came in that my 808 wheel flatted while running, and BuDu racing changed it for me. Thanks BuDu!

Bike: 32 miles (according to my Garmin) with approximately 1400 ft elevation gain. I was most disappointed in my bike split times. I know I sound like a brat (since I had the best female split time), but I only averaged a 20.5 mph pace, and my goal I set for myself was to maintain at least 21mph. Although, my excuse (as we all get one for ever race, lol) is that I dropped my water bottle before 2 miles in, and went the whole first run and bike leg without water. My mouth was so dry, but I figured I would just take a break in my second transition to drink a gallon of water. I definitely had lots of weaknesses in my bike leg, because I didn't push myself very much. I also was starting to feel my sleepy eyes on me. Wondering if I could have fallen asleep while biking like those people do who fall asleep driving... Oh well, next year I will prove to myself a much better cyclist then what I did at the duathlon.

T2: Hmm. Still need to work on not being so slow during transition. Although, I drank 3 cups of water here.

Run 2: 3.8 miles flat. Started too fast, as I looked down my pace was low 5 min for the first mile. Slowed it down a bit, because I knew if I kept that pace, my legs would SEIZE on me. I could feel the fatigue (lack of sleep / dehydration / effort) creeping up on me hard core here. About two miles in, I stopped and HAD to drink from the aid station. I think I waisted another minute of my time, but also, I just needed water. I knew that I could give myself a little bit of time, as there was no one around me or in sight. Seriously, I was all alone for a lot of this race. Anyways, finished strong. My average pace according to the results is 6:46, although I am wondering what it would have been if I didn't take a minute break? Either way, I still rocked it!

I was the first female across the line. By at least 7 minutes. I initially thought it was 11, but realized I am supposed to wear glasses and can't read results right, so it's more like 7. ;). It gave me a lot of confidence to win by so much. I have been training so hard for this sport. Hours upon hours of intense training. I saw this day that my training has paid off, because even on my worst day, I still can push my body through it to perform. So I guess my lesson learned through this race is that I no longer have a right to "use excuses". Despite all of my "excuses" I had on this day for the Mt. Rainier Duathlon, I still could put my negatives on the back-burner, and burn that negative energy into fuel - via wattage.

I had SO much fun meeting new people in the tri community as well. I always think sports should have 2 components: intensity and good people. I am looking forward to seeing the same faces again.

And, I warn you...

My next tri race, I will be on my A game. Or at least my B game.. not my D- game.. So prepare yourself. I am hungry. Hungry to push myself more and to show the world what these legs of mine, really have to offer! ;).

Oh, and prepare for a hug and a smile! That is mandatory! Or else, what would life be like without the support and love from others?!

Thanks you guys. I have the best family, boyfriend, and friends. I know what life is like without that, and let me tell you, it is SO much better with good people in it!!!

A Year Ago.. Today..

2011-04-20T13:46:00.000-07:00

Because of this weekend @ Tour of Walla Walla...

Today I smile. Today I have the best boyfriend one could ever ask for. Today I have confidence in my cycling abilities. Today I have the friends who make me feel good about myself. I am happy, I am treated kindly, and I have achieved 1st in GC for a cycling stage race. I have won in life.

Last year, it was the opposite for me. Last year I cried. Last year I was pushed, hit, spit on, and locked shut in a hotel room closet for hours while being afraid for my life. Last year I was worried for Jennifer Wheeler, one of my new friends who I had made in the cycling community, (when I thought I was incapable of making friends) because she got into an accident during the ToWW crit. Last year I was depressed, isolated, and terrified. Last year I lied, to myself, my family, and everyone else... saying my life was good, but deep down... it was hell.

This year going back to Walla Walla, I had a very hard time emotionally. I was trying to hold back tears, push back memories, and think happy thoughts constantly. I realized that I felt constant anxiety, and was getting very quick intense feelings of anger. It's crazy, because I felt SO on edge. If I didn't have a strong support system like I do today and a boyfriend who treats me with the best love, I would NOT be in the same place.

They say talking about trauma is what makes you get over it, which I think is very true, but, it never gets rid of the evil that you were exposed to. Only those who have been through a similar situation will know what I am talking about. Every once in a while, I get this almost pinch like pain in my chest, and this image of those evil eyes ripping into my body and cutting my soul. I know I have horrible qualities about me, and always try and work on being a genuine / good person. I hope people see that in me. I fear (intensely) that I don't come across right and that I am not being a good enough person. Being around people like Nicky, my friends, my family, and the cycling community have made me feel like I am being a better person. At least I know for a fact that I am now on the right path in life.

For many people, sports is an outlet to overcome stress and struggles. This 100% applies to myself. When I focus on doing well and succeed, life fits into place. But, in order to do well in sports, I have realized it is only when I put being a good and giving person first.

This weekend I went in with the goal of winning the GC, but I also went in with the secret thought, that if I didn't get it, I would be very happy if another person got it who I respected. One of these girls is on bikesale. Maybe people think I am weird for it, but I honestly got the same feeling of happiness (for myself when I win) when I saw her win the last stage. The first time I met her, was in a RR, and she gave her water bottle to another girl while riding, because that girl dropped her water bottle. Good people do things like this. Good people deserve to win.

That is just one example of a good person. There are many women in the cycling community like this!! A woman on KR, who I was very intimidated by (before I met her due to her sheer athletic ability), has always been SUPER generous to me by giving me insight / advice on being a good cyclist, even before I was! CF girls have helped me through tough times last year when I was leaving my abusive relationship. The men on Broadmark gave me support and made me feel safe. So many people, from all the teams have helped me. IJM riders, giving me tips on cornering and helping me with time trial workouts. On my own team, I experience this daily. I am so proud to see girls on my team exceed. They have given me strength and kinsmanship. I am also looking forward to being the 100% work horse for the girls on my team. I am officially saying this now because I want people to know, I want my girls to win, and I am going to do whatever it takes, vomit and all, to see them succeed.

Having said that, I went into Walla Walla with just over half the upgrade points I needed to become a cat 2 rider. I upgraded to cat 2 in OBRA a week before Walla Walla by being able to combine my USAC points and OBRA points just barely getting me in. But, USAC does not accept OBRA points since they are not USAC sanctioned races. I was able to get me enough points to upgrade in USAC, and, it is a defining moment in my life. It symbolizes my "upgrade" in quality of life to where I am today.

Now to the results! (For those of you that skipped through all that emotional baggage I just wrote about).

ToWW
1st in TT
1st in Crit
5th in RR
1st in final GC!

1st in Volkl Cup: Wearing and keeping the leader's jersey!

Now off to training, as I am racing with the Pro 1/2 ladies now! ;)

My handsome boyfriend! (Photo from Kevin Tu @ http://tu.smugmug.com/)

Wearing the leaders jersey! (Photo from Wheelsinfocus.com)

This HOO HA did what?

2011-04-05T18:44:00.000-07:00

I love the construction worker who holds the stop sign on the street that I drive by every morning dropping the school kids off at school. Every morning, she is waving and smiling like she just won a cycling race. In the pouring rain, at 7AM, every morning she is smiling. Which, makes me smile too!

Speaking on smiling after winning a cycling race.. :). I have been doing a LOT of that lately! I thought for my blog this time, instead of writing race reports, I would have a "photo race report". But before I do that.. I am going to show you a photo of my cat.. who wanted to go outside so badly on one of the only NON rainy days in Seattle.. and tried to jump out the door, but ended up getting stuck on the screen. Bianchi (my cat's name) did this 2x! You think she would have learned the first time...

Bianchi stuck on the screen door

Independence Valley RR: 1st place in W cat 3 field (4th place in combined 1/2/3 field). Solo attack on 2nd lap, chain drops, get on chaser group. 2 min ahead of rest of pack!

5 Man Break @ IVRR

Podium Shot

Taking 1st place @ IVRR

OBRA Banana Belt 3: 2nd place in W cat 3 field. Lots of attacking, nothing stuck. Rainy + Cold. Loved the course. Hilly terrain. Threw my bike a little too soon.. as I thought the finish was a crack in the road.. and stopped pedaling before I realized.. I still was not at the finish.. oh well.. next time!

Banana Belt 3 after the race.

Cherry Blossom Cycling Classic:

Stage 1: Columbia Hills RR: 2nd place.. SO CLOSE! Bri from Team Ironclad won this race. Sara Fletcher coming in 3rd. But this race, I think most people took it easy, it was almost boring in a way. I wish I was more aggressive in this race, but kept thinking I wanted to save my legs for the TT.

The finish shot.

front angle of finish shot

CBCC Stage 1 podium

Stage 2: Dufur TT: 3rd place. Now 3rd in GC, behind by 1'53". Anna from Team Ironclad won this time trial, crushing everyone else. I thought I was a good time trialist.. Morgan from Gotman (BC team) beat me by 14". The course was out uphill and back downhill, with a headwind going out, making my coming back split, literally 2x the speed fast.

warming up for the tt

Stage 3: Cherry City Crit: 7th place. I won all but 1 prime. In totally receiving over $200 bucks! Courtney from Cucina came in first. Nice to see a WA rider get podium. ;) I didn't even realize it though, because the crit was SO SHORT. It was supposed to be 25 min, turned out to be 19. Super slow pace so I was in the front to stay away from possible sketchy corners. It felt like a recovery spin with a few openers. People were not going hard at all, as they were saving legs for the RR.

Catch me if you can ;)

Stage 4: Orchard Run CR: 4th place. AKA 4,200ft elevation gain in 36 miles. Balls Hard. The attack ended up giving us an 8 minute lead or something crazy like that at the finish. Sara Fletcher attacked our break group, ending up solo finishing 30ish' ahead. Intense!

Photos from the race click on link. Thank you Team Ironclad for the photos!:

Preparing to attack "Selections Made Early" "All strung out"

Dirt / gravel climb

windy tight corner descent

The Last 200M of the race. I wish I had more, but ALL of my matches were burned. I was literally crying at the finish, not because I was sad, but because my body had nothing left, just exhaustion! :)

CBCC GC: 5th place!

CBCC GC PODIUM!

Super Fun Racing This Year! And now, this HOO HA is officially an OBRA cat 2 rider!

March MADness and Frostbite? yea.. about that...

2011-03-22T14:34:00.000-07:00

This year I am having really great results in cycling. Here are some notable ones.

Ice Breaker TT cat 3 W: 1st @ 23.7 mph - 25.17.79

Skagit Valley TT cat 3 W: 1st @ 26.7 mph - 20:33:41

Ice Breaker TT tandem: 2nd @ 23:35:33

Mason Lake RR #2 Pro 1/2/3 W : 2nd

Mason Lake RR #1 cat 3 W: 4th

Another thing worth mentioning is not only have I been doing well, but some of my teammates (I won't say any names for privacy reasons) have just CRUSHED it too! It's kinda cool because, Hagens Berman Cycling LLP is becoming well known in our community as having strong women. I would like to call it the "Blonde Bomb Squad." We all kind of look alike. Some ladies have brown hair too, but we will classify them as blonde, just because it sounds cooler. But mostly, we are all blonde, about the same height, weight and build.

For those who don't know.. I got minor frostbite a few weeks ago. It could have possibly been one of the more painful experiences I have had... I now shudder at the thought of riding in cold rainy weather. It was DEFINITELY the most miserable ride of my life, that is for sure! It was cold, but sunny outside. I brought rain gear, and was wearing adequate clothing. My heavy duty cycling gloves were still wet from the previous day, so I grabbed my wool pair. I got about 30 minutes away from home and BAM: hail + freezing rain came down. It hurt my face and my body as it hit me. Within 5 minutes, I was soaking wet, and as soon as I had a chance to pull over to put on my rain gear, it was already too late. I put my rain gear on and decided I should turn around. With basically a 7 mile hill + traffic and some to get back home, about 2 miles in, my fingers lost all feeling. It happened so quickly. Soon I started getting this deep pain that felt like it was coming from my bones. By the time I got home, I could not even move my wrists on up. I couldn't move my hands to even open my door to get in my house, or to take off any wet cold clothes. It took me 30 minutes of jumping and rubbing my hands on my tummy to get them to move enough to turn the knob of my house door open with my palms. I stepped in the shower with all my clothes on and.. it was painful. After an hour of being in the house, my fingers color was back to normal, but still had no feeling. Today, I still don't have any feeling in my finger tips on certain fingers. I guess, the benefit of the whole ordeal is I no longer need hot pads to pull things out of the oven?

On a silly note, I am sure horrible at time trial starts... At the Skagit Valley TT, I pretty much fell over! Guess I should work on that... Here are some photos, the first one Nicky (my boyfriend #430 in the Broadmark kit) beat me at the line, he was my 30 second follower.

Also is a link for a video of my Mason Lake RR. Mason Lake Race Video by RideITLikeUstoleIT!!!

Ice Breaker TT (Photo from Rob Whitacre @ http://gcracingllc.com/default.aspx)

Skagit Valley TT (from Kevin Tu @ http://www.tu.smugmug.com)

Black Diamond 70.3

I should change my blog name to "Creeper Alert Updates"

2011-03-03T14:27:00.000-08:00

When was it ok or common practice for 6th grade students to cat call women?

Ok, I understand 6th graders know swear words... but I was SHOCKED when I heard "Look at that hot a**.", and "Move that a** for me.".

Seriously, I have chosen a field of athletics where all my training is done in skin tight, lycra/polyester/spandex type material. You would literally be able to see the cellulite I don't have (but if I did, you would be able to see every square millimeter on my skin of it) move with each step. I don't know if I chose a sport thats training/race clothing is tight subconsciously to show my body, or if it is just by chance that I like these sports... Either way, while running, I wear either form fitting spandex and a form fitting spandex top (in cold weather) or supra mini running shorts (where you can see my butt cheeks flap out with each step) and a sports bra (in hot weather).

The background: I live behind a middle school, literally. There is a fence that separates my front yard to the back open grass lot of the middle school. It is really convenient, because there is a dirt full size track at this middle school, and all I have to do is walk outside to do a track workout. Not only that, but it is dirt, and the impact is minimal on my knees. Most of the school is enclosed by a fence, so my dog can run around freely as I do my workouts. This is nice because he is actually slower than me on endurance runs, and I tie his leash around my waist when running on the road, and it is comparable to tying a 35lb sack of sand and pulling it around.

Normally, I run during my lunch, so I don't see the kids. This day, I ran for a brick workout (after a 2.5 hour ride), where I happened to be at the track around 5pm or so. Back in the old days (for me 2000), when I was in middle school, we would have out school dances on Friday nights starting at 7pm. Apparently, the dances have gotten out of control, so now they happen on school days right after school ends, in broad daylight, with the doors open at the gym. There was clusters of kids outside the the school gym just standing around, when I ran by, and they started using vulgar language while cat calling me. I really wanted to snap back, but realized that these kids were 11-12 years old... Then, they started to gather around the track and telling me to shake it.

I have done this at the gym before, but sometimes I get the strongest desire to make my voice become as manly as possible and respond with, "I am sorry, but I am a man." It totally works at the gym if some beef head comes up to me and starts talking about how I should see how small his penis is. The last time I did this, the guy actually dropped his mouth open, and I walked away with the straightest face, and probably crushed that man's ego. But, since these middle school kids are, well, kids, I must again refrain from destroying their little minds by turning their creepiness back on them. Fighting back by being more creepy! If it happens again at the track, I will for sure be using the full depth of my vocal strings stating that my penis is longer than theirs.

As for this past weekend, Nicky and I crushed the duathlon for a 1st place by 4 minutes. Nicky had the fastest overall split time for the bike leg (and he was against semi pro riders). I got 2nd in overall run split times over men and women!

This weekend I am doing the Ice Breaker TT individual, and the tandem Ice Breaker TT as well. Then Mason Lake. I am totally rolling my power tap on the real wheel, and a zip 808 on the front. otally Pimping it.

Freaking out about the TT since it will be my what, 4th tt? Oh well, I am just going to have fun with the tt anyways. It's all practice.

Females and swimsuit cracks...

2011-02-24T11:16:00.000-08:00

I have been swimming at the same time and place (for the most part) for my swim workouts lately. I realized over the past few weeks that I am getting a fan club of men (anywhere between 4-7 men) who come to my pool, pull up chairs next to my lane, and watch me swim.

"Whatever" I say to myself. I know they talk about me, as I heard a few workouts ago, them mentioning my nipples. I must say, will SPEEDO PLEASE sponsor me so that I can get a new swimsuit before my used one becomes "see through"?? Swimsuits last max 3 months of hard use before they become this sort of stretched out, poop, grey color, where you can not only see your butt crack, but your front crack and everything else crack. Swimsuits not only need to be replaced often due to break down, but nice ones are just as expensive as bike kits!

Well, back to my fan club... Yesterday when I set up my lane, the early members of my fan club were waiting in the hot tub. I did my warm up, was watching the clock to start my main set, and they start to get out of the hot tub and pull up their chairs.

As one gets out, he says "You have nice legs".
Me: "What?"
Fan Club Guy (FCG): "Are you on a swim team, you have nice legs?"
Me: "No, I am a cyclist, training to become a triathlete."
FCG: "Oh a cyclist, that explains why you have such nice legs."
Me: "Um, thanks.."
FCG: "Sorry to interrupt your workout, we just have been watching you and I finally had to ask."

I swear my fan club secretly prays that I forget my water bottle so I have to get out of the pool in between sets to get a drink...

Picture of me swimming 6 - 8 years ago? This wasn't taken for my form but testing out the underwater camera, so don't judge me on my form here!

I like compliments and all.. but I think there is a difference between "nice form", and "nice legs"...

Towards the end of my workout, another swimmer approached me and said my form was "really beautiful to watch" (she was a female). When I was changing in the locker room, a mom approached me (who was swimming with her daughter at the same time I was doing my workout), and she said "Thank you". I asked her what was she thanking me for? She said that she wanted to thank me for giving her daughter a good example of what strokes look like, and she has been coming to the pool during my workouts so her daughter could watch me.

I felt really flattered about that. It made up for the creepers of my swim fan club. I think I am going to set up a tin can at the end of my lane saying "Pay to watch" or "Donations for cute swimsuits here".

There is this window that separates the weight room and swimming pool. I often see men standing on the other side of window watching swimmers. When this is happening while I am swimming, I often wonder if the men know that we can see them on this side, and the drooling, hot breath marks on the glass, and boner are not very attractive.

Although, I must say, if you are a single lady who is looking for an easy date, come with me to my pool for a swim workout, and I will guarantee you a date in the steam room with one of my fan club members! There is usually 1 or 2 guys under the age of 30 too! You know, you can have a creeper throughout the ages...

OBRA RACING

2011-02-23T11:42:00.000-08:00

Well, I had an AWESOME start of the season! :) A 1st place and 3rd place finish, all in the same day!

I have a good friend who has a condo right outside of Portland, and he mentioned a road race (Cherry Pie) happening this past weekend. I looked it up and saw they had a tandem RR. My boyfriend Nicky and I race tandem (came in first in the Mt. Baker Hill Climb TT), and were planning on doing more tandem races this year. Anyways, we both decided that we would do the tandem, which was 26.6 miles starting at 10:05, and then the cat 3 road race (52 miles) right after.

We discussed race tactics for a week before the race. Being VERY nervous at how I would do, I was over obsessing about how to tackle doing 2 races back to back, which would set me at a disadvantage for my 2nd race. Game plan was to sit in the pack as much as possible and attack at the very end, where there was an 8% grade hill that lasted for about 1 mile, for both races.

Tandem Race: There were 7 tandems total. Not having been on the tandem for 5 months, I was a little shocked at how easily it came back. Most of our 20 min warm-up was spent on adjusting our seats and de-railers. It was low to mid 30's during the race, and the other tandem racers showed up in skin suits, aero helmets, very expensive time trial looking tandem bikes (carbon fiber frames, race wheels, no water bottle cages etc), and EAR PIECE communication devices!!! I felt out of place with my man sized shammy and long sleeve shirt that fits Nicky better than me... The race was pretty much a rotating pace-line. Making sure that we did not work any harder than anyone else, the pace was fairly slow for a rolling hill course (18mph average). Realizing we were much stronger than the others, we made an attack on a little hill, but the headwind was too strong, and so we decided to stick to our original plan. We sat in the pack until about 5 miles to go talking to other tandem riders. It was pretty relaxed and we made some new friends! I also introduced the term "motor-boating butt cheeks" to the tandem racers, which was describing my most aero tandem position. We talked to another couple who asked if we wanted to make an attack with them at the last section. "Of course," I say. Soon after that communication, the tandem makes an attack on this flat, where Nicky and I were clearly disadvantaged with our non aero little gear / bike setup. We were spinning out at 48 mph. We caught back up (as well as all the other tandem racers) and made a counter attack with our heads dropped. I looked back to see if anyone was on our wheel and the couple who made the initial attack was. I said, "We are alone lets take it up a notch and keep going." Not having seen any of the other tandems behind our two tandems, I really wanted to get a few minutes advantage on the rest of the pack. The stoker on the other tandem said, "The race ends at the next bend." Freaking out at the thought that we were at the end of the race already, I start screaming "GO GO GO" to Nicky, who was just coasting for the corner. The other tandem was on our outside left for the corner, and then Nicky and I just sprinted the last 250m for the finish. When we crossed the line I didn't see the other tandem behind us! We had just blew them out of the water for the finish!! With the first race being a podium win I definitely had a good rush. Prize money = $90! Paid for all 4 of our races combined and then some! Of course, both Nicky and my combined age was younger than the tandem racers who came in 2nd.. I don't care, it feels good to win, and they were pretty strong looking studs. (Like all 50ish avid bike racers are btw, they never look their age! Seriously. I would be shocked to find a person who races regularly to look even close to their age. They all look 10 years or more younger.)

Cat 3 race: My legs felt awesome. Changing shirts, stuffing my face, and changing bikes, I rolled out onto my next race. Same game plan of sitting in, followed this for most of the 1st lap (same course as tandem but 2 laps instead of 1). On the hill at 26 miles, an attack was made that I was in (+ 3 other girls), and we got a pretty good distance ahead (couldn't see the pelaton). Two of the girls were on the same team (which had a large representation of teammates working together in this race). One of them said, "Ok I need to take a break". Thinking, a break, this in an attack! I just kept going. Being out in the wind for a while, I realized this was not a very smart move and soft pedaled back into the pack. The rest of the race consisted of countless attacks and I kept myself in good position to jump. Oh btw, my water bottle cages were not screwed in.. and they were flopping out from side to side the WHOLE RACE. It was annoying. Last 3 miles or so the race got more intense, yet my legs still felt good. The team that had the most players were setting up their race tactics. They lined up in the front, and I could over hear them discussing. As I was trying to get a little draft, but not get stuck behind their team, I pulled to the front right side. Hearing one of the girls say something like, "Rosalyn in on the right watch out", made me think, my only chance of winning was to attack earlier than I want because I won't have a sprint like their designated sprinter. No matter how fit I am, I had made attacks, used energy in the previous race, and did not have a team to help me. I attacked at the last turn (250m) with 3 girls doing the same on my left. I am assuming my description of the finish is accurate, but I was in the pain cave with my focus on the goal, so don't take my word as the bible. The winner got a lead out by her teammates on my left and was clearly fresh and beastly strong pulling 9 seconds ahead of #2 at the finish. A girl who got her draft lost it after about 150m to the finish, where I passed her. My legs literally DIED with 100m to go, and a different girl passed me right at the finish giving me a 3rd place. The girl I passed was on my wheel and came in 4th. The rest of the pack was another 10 seconds behind the behind me. I felt pretty good about my results considering I was the only rider who had done a race right before! I got $25 prize money too! I really wanted to go for two 1st place podiums for this season, but hey, 1st and 3rd makes me smile too!

Pretty excited for this upcoming season. My confidence is boosted. I loved racing in Oregon, all the girls had great sportsmanship, super friendly, and safe bike handlers, etc. I felt SUPER comfortable on the bike too. I have been practicing my cornering + bike handling skills and did not get nervous during both races riding in the pack. I rode in the middle, moved fluently, and when my chain dropped a girl gently pushed me to the side to get out of the pelaton smoothly and I thought it was extremely helpful. I noticed that people often will touch your hip to make you aware they are passing, and it is so nice to find it a comforting behavior, not scary one!

I am contemplating doing the Sublime Sublimity cat 3 men rr @ 9am and then the cat 1/2 women rr @1pm this saturday, and then the banana belt rr on sunday. I signed up for the frostbite tt, but like the idea of doing almost 100 miles of racing vs 9 miles on saturday?

Recently I have been looking at the thought of selling my 404's and only racing on my 808s. They came with my tt bike, and I really don't need 500 sets of wheels. I love the 404s, but my 808s could do the road races, and then I will put my wheelbuilder.com disc wheel attachments on the rear 808 for time trials. Cheapest way to go for me anyways. Any thoughts on that?

WOHOO RACE SEASON IS ON LIKE DONKEY CONG!

Story of the Creeper

2011-01-07T13:27:00.000-08:00

So I recently received this picture from an awesome friend of mine before I knew him. I darkened the photo for the privacy of the view of the random person in the front of the picture. There is such a funny / creepy story that goes along with it. This picture was taken before I knew my friend, and he found it, recognized me from my HB kit, and then sent me the photo saying he remembered this day!

I was at the Wenatchee Stage Race, where it was my first W cat 1,2,3 race. This picture was taken right before my second crit ever! Not only was I about to crap my pants out of nervousness, but it was over 95 degrees outside. I had carpooled with a friend from another team (let's call her Amanda). Amanda was racing the cat 4 crit, when I realized I had locked my keys inside my car. I called the locksmith and he told me he would be there in 20-30 minutes. I had about 2 hours until my race, so I was not worried one bit about missing my race, just bummed I would have to pay 100 bucks to get my keys out.

After 45 minutes of waiting, I called the locksmith and asked him where he was. He told me that he didn't see my car (although I told him the exact intersection, car details etc). Apparently, because he did not see my car, he turned around and went back home. I got upset because I not only waited in the direct heat, (no shade waiting by my car) I was very dehydrated. Why he did not call me and tell me he couldn't find me, was pretty rude of him; so I called a different locksmith to come unlock my car. While I was waiting for the second locksmith, an attractive (ie: normal, straight lace looking) guy (let's call him Jason) on his bike came up and asked me if I needed help. I told him my situation, and he waited and made sure that the locksmith came.

Picture of the incident. Jason is in the far background on the middle right.

The second locksmith came very quickly and Jason carried my bike and trainer to the warm up area near the crit. I thanked him, and made another trip to my car for more water. As I came back to my bike, Jason was sitting on it and using my trainer to warm up for his race. Utterly shocked and somewhat confused that a guy was sitting on my bike (and frustrated because I was planning on using it to warm up!), I didn't know what to say. I went to the bathroom, and by the time I came back he was talking to me about, who knows what, and setting up his bike for his race. Amanda had just finished her race and come back to our spot, and Jason introduced himself to her, then left to start his race.

Soon, I was racing, and I could see that Amanda and Jason were cheering me on. When I finished, I got on my trainer for my cool down, where Jason and Amanda were talking fluent in French to each other. Amanda is from France, and Jason's French was perfect, so I realized they must be long time friends.

After my cool down was finished, Amanda and I started to pack up and were wanting to preview the road race course for the next day. Jason helped us both pack up our gear and took it to my car. Once loading my car, he proceeded to put his bike on my bike rack and got in the car. I figured Amanda must have invited him, because Jason still kept talking to her in French.

While we were driving, the whole conversation was Jason rambling on about how he helped drug addicted teens by making them sing poems, and kept interrupting himself by telling us to turn up the music. He went on a 10 min conversation to himself about how he got his car. Amanda kept giving him a hard time about his details because they were not making sense, and he would always respond in French to her. Once we were on the race course, Jason told me to pull over. I slowed down, and he stuck his wing wang out the door and went to the bathroom. Amanda and I looked at each other and had the look of "WTF". Now I realized that this guy was not only being weird, but he was also the most ANNOYING person I have ever met.

I asked him where he wanted me to drop him off. I would have left him right there in the middle of nowhere, but his bike was connected to my bike rack. Driving 5 minutes back to the little town, I pulled over in the gas station and told him to get out because he would get a better cool down riding his bike home. He said that he was hungry and wouldn't mind eating with us at our hotel. I told him that our hotel was 45 minutes away in the opposite direction, and that we wouldn't have time. Although this was a lie, as our hotel was 5 minutes away at the most.

creeped out and thankful that we didn't get harmed, we laughed about it and went home to get a good sleep for our races the next day.

Of course, the next day, upon riding back to my car from the race, Jason was standing there waiting by my car. I started freaking out! He was talking to me and while I tried to put my bike on my car as fast as I could and told him "I'm sorry I am in a hurry and I have to go poop and I am about to poop my shammy pants." No joke, that is what I said. I got in my car and drove to the corner, looking in my rear view mirror to see if creeper Jason was riding his bike to say something more to me, which he was. My now boyfriend Nicky (but who was just teammate at the time) had just won his category for the road race by 5 minutes, or something crazy like that. He came up to my window and was trying to say hi, but I totally blew him off and peeled out to get away from creeper without saying anything to Nicky.

Thankfully Nicky didn't think I was a complete B*, and decided to go to the Mt. Hood Cycling Classic with me after I emailed him a sausage joke and invited him to. Totally harmless, I swear!

As far as my present day training is going, I did some intervals, and realized how much stronger I am getting! After doing a brutal track sprint workout, (10 min warm up, sprint 400, 200, 400, 200, 400, 200, 400, 800, 400, 200, 400, 200, 200, 200, with a 400 easy between each sprint, then 2 mile 7:30-8 min mile pace cool down) I did a 3.5 hour ride w/ an hour warm up, then 10 min on 4 min off until my hour cool down. My numbers were higher than I have ever had before, even though my legs felt like mush. I am excited to see what my numbers are when I have fresh legs!

Also, I am very happy back country ski season is started!

smart training w/ ice packs... or not.

2010-12-18T11:47:00.000-08:00

or click http://www.youtube.com/user/rjrombauer#p/a/u/0/SK6ALjitqwM

Yes, I did actually burn myself with ice packs... No, I am not going to be wearing booty shorts at the 12k's of Christmas!

I am doing the 12k's of Christmas with my mom, who was a runner herself before my brother and I came to be. :) Which reminds me, it has been forever and a day since my last cycling road race. I miss it. I was daydreaming about how great the day will be when Mason Lake Road Race series #1 comes.

Oh, and yes, I did literally blow up my old microwave a few weeks ago. It scared the S* out of me! I had never used a microwave before cooking something like a sweet potato (I always used the oven)... I just thought it would be cooked the same way in the microwave. Apparently, microwaves catch on fire when you use tin foil. Don't try this at home kids!

You have to make fun of yourself now and again...

2010-12-13T13:24:00.000-08:00

Confidence is the key to success. Having too much confidence is key to being a poor sport.

I know I have tons of confidence, and decided to make fun of myself because of this (keep in mind, the video is a BIT over-exaggerated, I do not claim to have certain capabilities stated). The only way one can be a good sport (no matter what level) is to back up whatever they say and prove their words to others via actions and results. I don't know the full extent of my capabilities yet, but I am dead set on proving to myself that whatever goals you set, you can achieve them if you really put your mind to it! On that note, if I truly suck at triathlons on the pro level, hey, maybe I can be sponsored to just run and look cute, right? hahaha...

Here is the video:

http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/8058887/

I know I am obsessed with cycling / sports etc when...

- I have just cycled 9 hours that weekend and on Sunday night am at dinner with my boyfriend's whole family (including ones I just met from Canada), where I proceed to describe the crotch pain females endure while being on the bike. Then mention how some guys' "privates" go numb after many miles on their bikes too...

- I have 6 bicycling magazines (or runners magazines) in the bathroom, because I have to eat 5k calories a day, and therefore ... well, need multiple reading materials to keep occupied.

- I actually look forward to riding / running in the pouring rain, because I know I am getting ahead of most others who don't like uncomfortable training conditions.

- I spend more money at the local bike shop, than any other store known to man.

- I download power data / run splits immediately after every workout to compare numbers.

Oh those are just so few examples of so many!

I do have a new triathlon coach, Ryan Vanderloop, and am really looking forward to working on getting to a balanced training program. Not to mention focusing on getting my running splits down, as that is my weakness.

Alright, back to changing diapers! :)

"Bos' new Blog" "Bos' Bomb Blog" Bos'.. wait.. that's lame.

2010-12-03T13:46:00.000-08:00

Apparently, if you are a professional "anything" these days... you have a fabulous blog so that all your "peeps" can hear what you have to say, because you are just #1 in the whole wide world...

I have recently noticed that all pro athletes (of any importance anyways...) have their own blogs. Since my goal is to become a pro triathlete (or at least compete on the same level with them.. aka: D+ on a grade scale), I will be a punk follower like the rest. Thank god I went to college, at least my education may help make my blog be more exciting than.. "today I pumped iron.. today I went for a 2 hr bike ride at such and such watts.. today I ate an apple"

Hmm well.. okay, I did just eat an apple now.. but that is not what I want to write a blog about.

I want my blog to be much more. I don't want to be a pro triathlete because of some personal insecurity.. of some personal obsession or egocentricity..

I want to become..

a role model.

for those children who have none.

for those women who where abused.

for those humans who survived.