The Boston Pissah

Weekend Wrapup: Five Guys Edition

2011-10-17T01:01:00.000-04:00

Buy your peanut butter now—it's going to be far more expensive when the zombie apocalypse hits. [Lifehacker]

Five Guys is coming to Beantown. My wallet's already crying. [Boston Business Journal]

BU hockey beat Denver. #1 ranked ~~Boston~~ Chestnut Hill College lost to Denver. Brady pulled some vintage stuff out in the fourth quarter for a victory over Dallas. Bruins beat the Blackhawks in a shootout. Needless to say, I was a happy drunk this weekend. [Boston.com and Boston.com]

Cornel West got arrested at Occupy Wall Street. The article has a picture of him from Occupy Boston. If you've been doing your homework, you'll recognize that "No $$, No Voice" sign in the background. [CBS]

Occupy Your Mom: Day 9

2011-10-11T13:03:00.002-04:00

Occupy Boston: a self-captioned and cultivated (from the internetz) photo essay. Is an introduction really required? Enjoy:

What law? The one where I can buy alcohol at 18.

Look! A U.S. soccer supporter! Don't tread on me!

Yeah! It's your fucking fault my Art History degree is useless now!

Taahahahahahah. That is SO what she said.

YEAH! I hate it when I don't get mugged in the street and have nobody to protect me. I love getting mugged!

Fuck you. You're Forever Alone...

Fuck your family that's depending on you working so that they can eat. Your four-year-old might as well be dead in a system that's this fucked up.

Hahahaha, wtf? The second you get kicked out of the 1%, you're out there protesting against them... Sort of tells you everything you need to know about these protests, no?

This chick is seriously the only legitimate reason I've seen to become a part of Occupy Boston. Would tap that so hard.

[Source: Flickr]

Weekend Wrapup: Meeting the Charles River Personally

2011-10-10T13:07:00.000-04:00

It was pretty fucking warm in Boston this weekend. Record breaking, in fact. [Boston.com]

An 18-year-old unnamed student was pulled from the Charles River in critical condition. Or as I like to call it, a usual Saturday night. Although, with my sophomore skills, I don't need the cops called when I fall in. Fucking freshmen. [Boston.com]

Boston hockey season is off to a good start. BU beat University of ~~Hicksville~~ New Hampshire 5-0, BC beat University of ~~Middle of Fucking Nowhere~~ North Dakota, and the defending-Stanley-Cup-Champion-Bruins picked up their first victory of the season. [GoTerriers, The Republic, USA Today]

Lastly, the Pats beat the Jets, despite Brady having an ABYSMAL GAME FOR FANTASY FOOTBALL. No, I'm 100% totally not bitter. FUCK YOU! [Boston Herald]

Enjoy Columbus Day (I did last night, if you know what I'm saying...) and especially the weather, while you've still got it.

BoA to Charge Debit Card Fee

2011-09-29T18:05:00.000-04:00

I think my search for a new bank has begun: it's being reported that Bank of America will begin charging a monthly $5 fee for using a debit card early next year. You'll be able to continue to use it freely as a debit card — the fee will only be charged if you use it to buy something — but still...really?

Although, as the Boston Globe reports, it's not just Bank of America: "a number of banks have either rolled out or are testing such fees." This includes Chase and Wells Fargo, which are testing $3 fees in select markets, as well as a few regional banks which began charging $4 and $5 fees.

At the same time, others doing it doesn't make it right. Besides, it's not like it's that hard of a time for banks: just this past year, BoA CEO Brian Moynihan received an outrageous $9.05M bonus.

On a personal note, I'm really liking the look of Ally. Free checks, free checking, free debit card, no ATM fees nationwide... Take a look. I really wish I was being paid by them to write this...

[Source: Boston Globe, Washington Post]

This Was Originally About R/C Planes

2011-09-29T17:44:00.000-04:00

Stories like this always tempt me to do nothing except sit on the Boston Police Scanner for the next few weeks. There's just...something about Western Massachusetts, I guess. And Northeastern University, for that matter: 26-year-old American and Northeastern grad — yes, just another reason to make fun of the place — Rezwan Ferdaus has been arrested after being charged with "plotting to blow up the Pentagon and the United States Capitol using remote-controlled aircraft filled with plastic explosives." In addition, he was also organizing a six-man ground assault involving automatic weapons following the aerial attack.

To be honest, I was struggling to find something good to say about this nice little piece. And then I stumbled upon an article from a publication that is quickly becoming a reliable source of stupidity: your own Boston Herald. Columnist Peter Gelzinis first describes Ferdaus as a "wannabe terrorist" and then later as "someone captivated by the dogma of a religious and cultural war from the safety of a tranquil suburb half a world away."

Excuse me? In what exact way is this guy a wannabe, rather than real, terrorist? Because he didn't succeed in his plan? Being home-grown makes him less of a terrorist? And then Gelzinis describes all of the failed terrorists within the past few years as idiots, rather than ascribing their failures to excellent law enforcement — Ferdaus was watched for months — and occasionally luck (the Times Square Bomber comes to mind...)?

That's not to say these plans were the most intelligent of them all, but to belittle them for failing makes it sound like they had no barriers at all, which is kind of an affront to organizations that are dedicated to protecting from threats like this. It has been ten years since our views of terrorism were dramatically changed by 9/11, and since then, we have had very few successful attacks in our borders. Personally, I think that is an incredible fact for a country larger than Europe, where they have not been so lucky.

I guess in the end, my point is really this: ridiculing past terrorist attacks for failing is not a good opinion or a newspaper column. A life lost to a terrorist from Ashland is the same as a life lost to a terrorist from Kabul. Calling these guys bumbling idiots is not taking the issue seriously enough, and writing a measly paragraph at the end of a shitty newspaper column contrary to the tone of the entire piece does not mean you really get it.

Oh, also, Ferdaus was in a band.

[Source: New York Times, Reuters, InfoPlease, Wikipedia, Boston Phoenix]

A [Pretend] Open Letter from the Allston Flamer

2011-09-26T17:28:00.000-04:00

Dear Boston Police,

I hear that you've been enjoying my recent activities in the Allston area. While I'm currently enjoying the amount of attention I'm receiving, I'd prefer if you could actually credit me using my full name. Oh wait, you can't, because you don't know who I am.

Furthermore, I'd rather you use the term 'troll,' rather than 'flamer,' as I believe it describes my behavior better. It's not like I started the flame war...(yet). The media have dubbed my behavior as taunting, which is definitely more symptomatic of a troll rather than a flamer.

Also, to the media, would it be possible to get better coverage of me? Honestly, the Boston Herald interviewed Pratt Street resident Jeff Intinarelli and then published the following quote:

“I was kind of hung over when I woke up to begin with, and this just took it to the next level.”

Really? That's the best interview subject you could find? In the words of Donald Trump and David Caruso, you could say that....you're fired. [Puts on sunglasses, cues "Won't Get Fooled Again" by The Who].

Lastly, if anybody has a car they would like burned, go to allstonflamer.com/nextvictim to submit a car. Anyways. Word to your mother.

Love,
The Allston Troll

P.S. I should really write for the Jay Leno Show.

Ugg

2011-09-09T11:51:00.002-04:00

In case you missed it a few weeks ago, Tom Brady is now a spokesman for formerly feminine footwear company Uggs. Brady will be appearing in a new commercial for Uggs which will air during the Monday night Dolphins-Patriots game. Oh, yay!

[Source: Deadspin]

The Weekly Cheat Sheet: Sept. 4 to Sept. 11

2011-09-03T21:01:00.000-04:00

Red Sox vs. Rangers

Saturday, September 4th, 1:35 PM
Fenway Park, 4 Yawkey Way, Boston, MA

This is kind of a slow sports week in Boston, to be honest. The Patriots are in Miami next Monday night, B.C.'s college football is away, Harvard's doesn't start until the 17th, the New England Revolution are away... Even the beloved Sox are gone for a week following Saturday's game this game against the Rangers. Enjoy them while they're still in town.

Tickets: $28 to $99; via redsox.com
Transit: Easy. Public transit is the best option: Green Line to Kenmore Square. Driving is possible, but parking is another ~$35.

Aloe Blacc

Tuesday, September 6, 9:00 PM
Brighton Music Hall, 158 Brighton Ave, Allston, MA

He's the man behind the theme song from "How To Make It In America." I have yet to meet somebody who hasn't enjoyed Blacc's "I Need A Dollar." If I'm honest, I haven't really listened to any of his other stuff, so it's not as if I can give a comprehensive recommendation here, but I'm sure it can't be that bad. And if it sucks, it's relatively cheap, at under-$20.

Tickets: $17.50; via ticketmaster.com
Transit: Easy. Public transit is your best option: Green Line B train to Harvard Ave. or the 193, 57, 57A, or 66 buses to Harvard Ave. Driving is easy, but parking is a problem.

Rock The Bells

Saturday, September 10th, 11:30 AM
Comcast Center, Mansfield, MA

If you're a hip-hop fan at all, you need to go to this. Rock the Bells is a pretigious all-day music festival that tours the country annually. They're coming to Boston again this year, with exciting artists performing entire albums. This year's headliners include: Nas' "Illmatic," Ms. Lauryn Hill's "The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill," Mos Def and Talib Kweli's "Black Star," Common's "Be," Mobb Deep's "The Infamous," Cypress Hill's "Black Sunday," Immortal Technique... Even with that list, I'm missing names. Get the full schedule at rockthebells.net.

Tickets: $72 to $260, $223 for four-pack; via livenation.com
Transit: Tricky. Commuter rail and a three-mile taxi there, ~$50 cab back after commuter rail stops at 9:15pm.

Chris Tucker

Saturday, September 10th, 7:30 PM
Wang Theatre, 270 Tremont Street, Boston, MA

The guy who's essentially famous — for me, at least — for being the black guy in Rush Hour, Rush Hour 2, and the third unfunny adopted child, Rush Hour 3. Either way, he's performing stand-up at the Wang Theatre which, based upon the YouTube videos I've seen, promises to be pretty entertaining.

Tickets: $45 to $76; via telecharge.com
Transit: Easy. Green Line to Boylston Street, block and a half south of the stop.

OW-AH CITY IS MUCH MORE ATTRACTIVE THAN THAT BACKWAT-AH

2011-08-30T22:13:00.005-04:00

Image via Deadspin

Do you get the NFL Network? You lucky bastard. I live in Maine, where the primary Time Cable Provider has started a holy war with the channel. I don't think they'll ever carry it. It's honestly a "When Hell freezes over scenario." I expect to have a channel devoted to the Kardashians before I get the NFL Network. Oh wait, I already get E!

Still, it makes me feel happy when I see minor mistakes like this. It makes me feel as though not having the network might actually be an alright thing. Maybe it's okay Time Warner won't agree to pay them way above average and put it on a basic tier. I'm not missing much if the network confuses America's most populous metropolitan area with, well Boston.

Aw, who am I kidding? I know I hate this. SCREW YOU TIME WARNER. YOUR HD TIER SUCKS, TOO.

[Source: Deadspin]

Dissection of a Newspaper Column: Howie Carr

2011-08-30T22:00:00.002-04:00

Let me be very clear: I do not condone every single policy that Barack Obama has produced. Despite the quantity of legislation and policies he has produced I think he has not been the best leader and should have done much better the past few years.

At the same time, I think his legitimate attempts to do so have been mired in political warfare and, for the lack of a better word, bullshit. It's sad because I have better political discussions with friends who are not only intelligent but, more importantly, discussing without an agenda. They're perfectly happy to listen to me explain why certain economic policies might work and why others simply will not.

And that's why I have a problem with this column by Howie Carr. It's everything I hate about politics: arguing the facts and looking for a real solution is no fun, so it's much better to just come up with a couple insults and toss your own shit around while eating bananas and ignoring the typewriters that have been there for thousands of years waiting for Shakespeare.

Either way, without further ado:

And so farewell, Barack Obama, don’t let the hatch door of Air Force One hit you on the way out of Massa-tu-setts, as you pronounce it.

I get it — he doesn't speak the same as you and he doesn't understand your problems. You know what problems you don't really understand? Growing up as a young black male born in 1961. In other words, two can play at that game and your joke wasn't really funny. And I'm in college. Want to know what is funny, though? Boston accents.

The first family came in separate planes, and they’re leaving, ditto. Hey, it’s only money, our money.

Our country's a business, and, guess what? CEOs get nice cars and private jets. Not to mention nobody has had a problem with them for the past 21 years, when they were "delivered in 1990 during the administration of President George H. W. Bush."

Even before Irene, this wasn't much of a presidential vacation compared to the earlier ones. An Obama vacation on the Vineyard has been downgraded from Cat 3 to tropical storm. It’s hard to get excited about the arrival, yet again, of the second coming of Herbert Hoover.

The Obama's-on-vacation-practicing-his-golf-swing-again argument...again? Really? We've already been over this: Obama's taken fewer vaction days than Bush or Reagan.

And then you go and bring up Herbert Hoover, which just doesn't make sense. First of all, Hoover was actually in office when the economy collapsed. And though his actions were and are controversial, there are still a large number of people that argue he was scapegoated and that his actions were admirable.

He’s already had at least two visits to the political ATM here this year, not to mention his wife Mooch-elle’s shakedown cruise a couple of months ago. What do they say? Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and familiarity breeds contempt.

I'll be honest — I totally missed the point here.

And what was that bunkum from Obama about a “historic” hurricane? Right now it’s only a tropical storm, and he’s trying to conflate it into the Blizzard of ’78. But hey, he and his whole administration, whenever they talk about the economy, they sound like weathermen. Whether it’s the tsunami, or the drought, or the financial crisis ... it’s gotta be somebody else’s fault.

Congratulations, you made fun of him for taking a serious natural event in the manner it needs to be taken. Have you already forgotten Katrina? Six years later, they're still rebuilding fucking roads. He's being careful because he didn't want to make a mistake worth thousands of people's deaths.

And guess what! The hurricane was a pretty big deal in places other than Boston. Check out some of the footage of flooding in Vermont. Damage estimates run between $7 and $10 billion, 40 people are dead, and 5 million households are without power.

Thursday night, Austan Goolsbee was on Fox trying to blame the cratered economy on the “earthquakes out of Washington, D.C. I mean, we’ve had a series of things that have put some heavy blows and slowed the economy back down.”

I’m not making this up. The “earthquake” is causing the double dip.

Full context:

HANNITY: Now, we've accumulated more debt than any president, a shorter period of time, under President Obama. The truth is, I have the latest Bureau of Labor Statistics, we've lost two-and-a-half million jobs since his stimulus, under Obama's plan. He said he would cut the debt in half. His administration said they would keep unemployment below eight percent. You were part of this. What went wrong?

GOOLSBEE: Well, respectfully, Sean, I would say, you are mixing up the timeframe there. In the year 2010, which is when most of the clips when the president was saying we were starting to grow again, we were growing. And over that 17 months, we added two-and-a-half million jobs. Now, at the beginning of this year, we get earthquakes, tsunamis, revolutions in the Middle East, European financial crises. Now we got earthquakes outside of Washington, D.C. I mean, we've got a series of things that have put some heavy blows and slowed the economy back down again.

It's not the best defense — that's a fact. However, if you don't think the Arab Spring or the situation in Japan or the debt ratings of European countries changed the way our stock market and economy operated, you're being silly.

Which reminds me. I felt the tremor in Brighton the other day. And I still have yet to receive my FEMA debit card.

Ha. Ha. Ha. Hilarious.

And now Barack Obama is gone, back to Washington. He had no choice, I guess. You can’t be playing golf while voters are getting hammered. And apparently he still believes North Carolina is in play next year — he wants to get down there to commiserate with the good folk of the Tar Heel state.

Didn't you just say that "familiarity breeds contempt"? And weren't you just complaining that he was on vacation? What? Is this supposed to be funny? Maybe I'm just too dense.

Meanwhile, as the president packed on the Vineyard, his dear pal the governor put his foot in his mouth big-time. A Ch. 4 reporter asked him about the illegal alien suspected of killing an American in Milford last weekend. Deval’s lip curled, as if he were back at the State Road restaurant with the rest of the Beautiful People.

He said, haughtily, that the American — whose name he couldn’t recall — wasn’t killed by an illegal alien, he was killed by a drunken driver. Who wouldn’t have been in the country if he’d been tossed the first time he was arrested for assaulting a cop, but what does Deval care? Heck of a job, Devie.

I agree, the Massachusetts government is pretty fucking patronizing to a pretty big portion of the state. Problem is, why are you bringing this up in a column about Obama. It was obviously important enough to you to write an entire separate column the next day.

This is the state's dirty laundry. The president has more pressing matters than the odd drunken driving incident. I'm glad he didn't stick his nose in it and I'd have think you would be too.

If Barack didn't say it as he was lifting off last night in Air Force One, he should have.

I enjoy you better on the radio, Mr. Carr. Don't let the little red X in the corner hit you on the way out. (See? "On the way out" jokes always suck).

[Sources: WTFHODSF?, Boston Herald, The White House, Fact Check , Wikipedia, The New Republic, Brad DeLong, AlterNet, Boston.com, Voice of America, Fox News]

Album Review: Mr. Carter's Home

2011-08-30T21:59:00.001-04:00

Lil' Wayne just released "Tha Carter IV," the long awaited followup to "Tha Carter III." I picked this one up immediately, have listened to it thoroughly, and I have to say it's better than I thought it was going to be.

After the release of the very hyped "Watch the Throne," I feel like Lil' Wayne set out to best Jay and Kanye, especially following Jay-Z's disses on "HAM." And in my opinion, Wanye definitely accomplished that goal. He feels like a clever Jay-Z on this album; he raps about having money and being better than everyone, just like Jay, but he does it through clever wordplay and punchlines, which I feel is more interesting and fun than hearing about watches and Maybachs for a half an hour. The production isn't the best I've heard, but it's filled with hard gangsta-style beats that make each track easy to bob your head to and just get into the music.

Lil' Wayne has some really good guest artists in this album including Rick Ross, Tech N9ne, Nas, and more. While the guests are great, I feel that this is the ultimate flaw of the album. Lil' Wayne does great on this album, but too be honest, my favorite songs are the two on the album that Weezy isn't even in. The album features three songs with the same beat, "Intro," "Interlude," and "Outro." "Interlude" and "Outro" features other rappers on the beat without Wanye, and to be honest they kill the beat way harder than Weezy does. And while each rapper gives their seal of approval and support for Wanye and "Tha Carter IV," the fact still remains that they rap better than Wayne does on that beat.

This mistake may take some shine away from Wayne, but the album as a whole is still very good, and great competition to "Watch the Throne." Even if you don't like Weezy, everyone should pick up this album (it might just change your mind about Wayne).

You can buy "Tha Carter IV" by clicking here or on the image above.

Also, email me anything you want to see reviewed at thechosenjuan@bostonpissah.com.

[Source: Image: Amazon]

Obama's an Alcoholic, Just Like Hitler

2011-08-30T00:40:00.000-04:00

Can't imagine what the right-wing media is going to do with this one (not that the left is any better...). President-of-the-United-States-Barack-Obama's 67-year-old uncle, Onyango Obama, has been arrested on suspicions of drinking and driving in — drum roll, please — Framingham! 20 miles outside of Boston! This state is too good to be true.

The half-brother of the president's late father is currently being held without bail because he was reportedly "slurring his speech and argumentative." In addition to that, he failed "several breathalyzer tests." And, as if that wasn't enough trouble for our president, he has been the subject of a standing deportation order from the U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement.

What kind of implications this will have to the President and his upcoming campaign has yet to be seen. However, a prominent political analyst has described the incident as "MORE PRUF OBAMHAITLER WAZ BURN IN KENYA," adding that he "IZ NOT AMERICAN" and "CUMZ FROM A FAMILY OF DRUNKS."

[Source: BBC]

Announcement: Website Redesign

2011-08-29T18:28:00.000-04:00

We're back like a bad ex: in-shape, better looking than before, and wearing a short skirt. Proudly and lovingly crafted by somebody who's HTML/CSS credentials don't really exist, there are probably a few problems. Take a look around. If you see something not working or have suggestions, let us know by commenting below or dropping us a line. Enjoy. Looking forward to getting some more stuff together in the coming months.

Live: Irene Is Having a Nice Snack

2011-08-26T22:45:00.065-04:00

Live coverage of hurricane Irene from the three of us. Of whom none are in Boston. I don't know why you would read this either. Newest posts are on the top.

9:00 PM - Summary:
DtD - I survived my first hurricane. Never would've known there was one, otherwise. A little bit windy, but things blew more in Manchester. Ba-Dum-Ch!

TGS - That was a hurricane? Huh. If I didn't know/hadn't spent the past few days TOTALLY FREAKING OUT, I wouldn't know.

DtD 7:08 PM - We'll get a goddamn summary/recap for you tonight...maybe...

DtD 7:06 PM - Goddamn, this hurricane sucked.

DtD 7:02 PM - Episode 18 now. This is so going on my resume.

DtD 6:56 PM - Jesus, I need something better to do. Anyways, some more Massachusetts news! We have flooding and power outages (as already reported). We've also got highway closures! What a badass hurricane!

DtD 6:62PM - Season 6, Episode 17, for anybody keeping track.

DtD 1:03 PM - Either way, before I head out to take care of some stuff, here are your hurricane updates:

User-submitted photos of hurricane damage. Nothing more than a few trees down, it seems...
150,000 people in MA are out of power. Over four million on the east coast.
Boston kicks ass, chews bubble gum in the face of a hurricane.
I don't have anything else, so... Unrelated: man killed in Chelsea in hit-and-run incident

Enjoy the "hurricane."

DtD 1:01 PM - Come to think of it. Enjoying rainy days explains why I like Arsenal....

DtD 1:00 PM - Fuck it. At least I won my +2.5 bet. By five goals. I can't believe that yesterday I was talking about believing in this team. At least I didn't really mean it, so this match didn't really hurt. But goddamn. At least the weather matches my mood. Although, to be honest, I like dreary rainy days.

DtD 12:56 PM- Ouch. What a morning.

TGS 11:40 AM - And I've switched to Man U-Arsenal. Can't wait to see what Duck has to say about this later.

TGS 11:36 AM - Janet Napolitano is a better weatherman than weathermen.

TGS 11:34 AM - SCREW YOU JANET NAPOLITANO. I'M GOING OUTSIDE AND I'M GOING TO THE COAST. YOU AND YOUR COMMUNIST/SOCIALIST GOVERNMENT CANNOT STOP ME.

TGS 11:30 AM - I cannot wait for Republican presidential candidates to blame the economic damage from Irene on President Obama.

TGS 11:28 AM - I've switched to CNBC so I can get some context on the economic damage of this storm. And so I can point and laugh at poor Darren Rovell.

TGS 11:25 AM - People from away who pronounce Bangor as "Banger" make me laugh.

TGS 11:24 AM - FX has Me, Myself & Irene. Double LOL.

TGS 11:23 AM - Encore is showing 2012 right now. LOL.

DtD 2:56 AM - HURRICANE SEASON! IT'S FUCKING RAINING IN ITHACA! SHIT JUST GOT REAL!

DtD 12:47 AM - For your pleasure:

TCJ 11:49 PM - Oh yea, there was a hurricane...How's that going? On a positive note I cleaned up my music library. I'm gonna have some coffee now.

DtD 8:31 PM - MBTA service has been suspended for Sunday! WOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! Disaster is imminent! Our threat level is obviously EXTREME!

DtD 8:21 PM - Season 5 finale. Can't wait 'till I'm back in town and I have something to fucking do.... In other news, how hilarious is this shit:

DtD 4:57 PM - I'm going back to Friends.

DtD 4:36 PM - They're reporting from Jersey. Maybe some of the cast from Jersey Shore will bite the dust...

DtD 4:29 PM - Check out these badasses... They take a plane and fly it straight into the hurricane to gather data. Fucking badass.

DtD 4:26 PM - Also, more importantly, Crystal is not on TWC's hurricane coverage....

DtD 4:24 PM - Either way, here's your latest Boston coverage.

Duval Patrick declares State of Emergency for Massachusetts
The FDA has released some guidelines for consuming food, water, drugs and for taking care of pets
Despite the fact that NY has shut down their public transit, Boston's MBTA is still running normally
Finally, Logan says not to expect a normal flight schedule until Monday

DtD 4:16 PM - Maybe I should take that back. Just flipped on The Weather Channel's free live coverage of this and heard something about Wall Street and Battery Park possibly being flooded.

DtD 4:11 PM - I get the feeling that lately the East coast has looked totally like pussies. 5.8 earthquake which people on the West Coast wouldn't even blink at had people freaking out on the local news. And then we have Irene, which...I don't know. Maybe it's just me, but I'm pretty sure Katrina was worse. Way worse. And that's not to say this isn't a big deal and people should take it seriously, but a little bit of a stiffer upper lip would be nice... Although, again. I'm not on the coast and it's beautiful and sunny out right now.

DtD 4:07 PM - I'm awake. I still don't really know what has happened to this thing. I saw in our Saturday Times that it was supposed to make landfall down in Virginia a few hours ago, but not sure if that's totally true.

DtD 7:21 AM - Also, I totally have no idea what's going on with the hurricane. Enjoy.

DtD 7:20AM - Not going to talk about the EPL here. Can find all my sleepless unintelligible mumbling on my Twitter, if you'd like. Not sure who would like that though. Lemme know if you like it. I might marry you.

DtD 7:03 AM - I'm still awake. Season 5, Episode 18. But I'm taking a break because it's Saturday, which means the EPL is on! Aston Villa-Wolves is on ESPN3 (and ESPN2?) if you have access to it. My two bets for the weekend: $5 on +2.5 goals in the Arsenal-Manchester United match and $5 on Norwich over Chelsea, mainly because 16-1 odds are very hard to pass up in soccer.

DtD 3:37 AM - In addition, there's a bunch of info here — more than I care to read at almost 4 AM while watching Friends (Season 5, Episode 8).

DtD 3:33 AM - Bit of Boston related news. First of all, Logan International is bringing in additional staff to deal with the bitchy aftermath of Irene's breakup with NY.

TCJ 3:22 AM- EARTHQUAKE!!!! OMG!!!!! wait a minute....I live on the West Coast. (Everything's good here, move along).

DtD 12:01 AM - CRYSTAL IS GONE! FUCK! NOOOOOOOOOO!

DtD 11:59 PM - Anybody remember this from floating around a long time ago? /barely related

DtD 11:52 PM - This was the worst idea ever, Shep. It's like a cumbersome version of Twitter.

DtD 11:45 PM - Hot blond's name is Crystal! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

DtD 11:44 PM - "Outer Bands Whips Outer Banks" reads the Weather Channel title thing. Did they think that was clever?

DtD 11:42 PM - My internet connection is driving me insane. Back to watching weather.com's live stream and pretending I care. All for you.

TCJ 11:32 PM - I'm playing CoD.

DtD 11:27 PM - She's back on. Talking about Twitter. Fuck media fuck fuck fuck....

DtD 11:25 PM - Hot blond not on screen anymore. Anybody know about any places where they're accepting bets on how much damage the hurricane will do?

TGS 11:22 PM - My work sold out of generators today. People in Maine are paranoid.

DtD 11:14 PM - Hot blond talking about the hurricane on weather.com. You're welcome.

DtD 11:10 PM - Jesus. Enthusiasm's dying quickly for this. Especially considering the "man" who suggested this has yet to post.

DtD 11:03 PM - My dog's so awesome. Tucked under the covers and obviously scared of the hurricane:

TCJ 11:00 PM - The only reason I care about this is because the Jets game got postponed. Stupid hurricane.

DtD 10:47 PM - Nobody cares, dude. He said Rachel's name! Shit! Only six seasons to go...

TCJ 10:55 PM- Has this even hit yet? Whatever, I have coffee.

DtD 10: 54 PM - OH SHIT HE SAID RACHEL'S NAME

DtD 10:51 PM - I'm on the last episode of the the fourth season of Friends. Never watched it before, but I'm almost down with four season in three days. I also totally hate Novamov because their servers suck and the videos always pause for buffering.

DtD: 10:46 PM EDT - I'm it this shitty middle-of-nowhere-town: Ithaca. It's boring. I have an aunt near NYC which makes me care slightly more. But really? I think I'm going to get some coffee.

TCJ: 10:44 PM EDT - I'm in California. Fuck you guys. Go get killed by a real earthquake.

[Source: The Inquisitr]

Album Review: Accepting the Eleven One Eleven Theory

2011-08-26T22:30:00.000-04:00

Wale dropped a new mix tape, Eleven One Eleven Theory, last week on Wednesday in anticipation of his upcoming album, "Ambition," which will release on November 1.

Wale tweeted saying "Eleven one Eleven was my thoughts on #ambition," and it can definitely be seen that Wale puts a lot of thought and effort into his music."

Each song in the mix tape is well produced, having that upbeat feel that Wale is known for. It shows in Wale's lyrics that he really loves poetry and rapping. He isn't the type of rapper that raps meaninglessly about random stuff. His lyrics contain so many metaphors that even after listening to this mix tape twice in a row, I'm still hearing and picking up on new things in every song.

In the opening track, Wale claims that he may not change the world, but he wants to inspire someone who will. He conveys this through his many metaphors regarding ambition and passion. Wale includes a lot of sport metaphors in this mix tape, especially in "Barry Sanders" where he compares himself to top sports stars with the kind of talent and motivation that he has. He talks about being Kobe for the Maybach Music Group, and also continues to emphasize his passion, motivation, and ambition for not only bringing us great music, but to getting a well deserved Grammy.

In an old interview with Hip Hop DX, Wale talked about himself saying, "It’s just my nature. I wanna be great. I just want… I obsess over being great. Not obsess over being famous. If I could write a million songs and never be heard, so be it, but if they’re considered great, I can go to sleep every night like, ‘I’m great.’" It's amazing to see somebody out there who is in it just to make great music and doesn't care about the riches. You can see this type of attitude shine everywhere in the mix tape as Wale doesn't need to scream about all the money he has in all of his songs, unlike a few other people we know who are currently making mediocre albums. Check out the rest of that interview to get more of a taste of Wale.

All in all, there is really nothing bad I can say about this mix tape. It is an impressive collection of songs with top notch lyrics, and it is simply the prelude to Wale's sophomore album, which will most likely be even better than this.

Pick up "Eleven one Eleven Theory" if you don't already have it, and make sure to check out "Ambition" when it releases.

[Source: Facebook, Hip Hop DX; Image: Concrete Loop]

We Might Be Getting a Casino!

2011-08-23T17:33:00.000-04:00

Eva Green in Casino Royale. It's sort of relevant, ok?

Boston legislature leaders have finally released a proposed bill which would bring three casinos and a slot-machine parlor. Casinos would be allocated by regions of Massachusetts — one in each of these — while the slot-machine parlor could be placed anywhere. Even better, this bill actually stands a chance of passing, as Governor Duval Patrick has stated that "the proposal includes all the principles that he insisted upon as a condition of his support."

Get your tuxedo ready! James Bond/Ocean's 14/[insert generic casino film] is coming to town!

[Source: MassLive.com, Boston Globe; Images: Filmonic, Worcester Telegram]

Are Murderers Idiots Or Do They Just Not Watch TV?

2011-08-20T18:39:00.000-04:00

An East Boston man has been charged with orchestrating a plot to have his wife killed by his mistress. Yup, you read that correctly:

"Kashif Parvaiz, 26, was charged today with murder and related charges in connection with the New Jersey shooting death of his wife, Nazish Noorani, 26, the mother of their two small children. A funeral for Noorani was held today in Boonton, N.J., where she was killed.

Parvaiz had been living in a rundown East Boston apartment with Antoinette Stephen, 26, a Best Buy worker from Billerica, who is also charged with murder. Parvaiz and Noorani were in New Jersey visiting family Tuesday for Ramadan when Noorani was gunned down in the sleepy town of Boonton. The couple was pushing one of their children in a stroller at the time. Noorani was killed and Parvaiz was injured. The child was not hurt."

And:

"The scheme entailed shooting Noorani and wounding Parvaiz, according to an arrest affidavit. Police have not said who fired the gun. Parvaiz allegedly planned to give Stephen money for the hit, the affidavits state. Parvaiz later confessed, prosecutors said."

Now, this is an awful story and kind of a delicate situation, and I should probably tread lightly around it. But how could you suck at murdering somebody so much? Didn't you think the cops might check your place of residence and discover that...you're living with another woman? Motive!

And then you blame it on...who? The only three black guys in the entire town? C'mon dude. You'd have been better off just saying that some batshit insane Guido did it — you are in Jersey, after all.

Better yet, you used text messages to plan this entire thing? Don't you know that carriers save your text messages for a period of time and even then, those messages aren't always totally erased? And even if you didn't, in this day and age, do you really have any right, as a murderer, to be surprised that the police could find this stuff?

Haven't you ever watched an episode of any forensic TV show, ever? Man....you're just disappointing the American public here. We'd much prefer a long, contentious trial while deciding your guilt in the media, undermining the justice system. Seriously. If you're going to be insane, at least put some time and effort in to it.

[Source: Boston Herald, The Star Ledger; Image: Boston Herald]

Tom Brady Wears UGGs, WTF?

2011-08-19T23:22:00.001-04:00

Does this post need words? I mean, seriously? What is there to say? I hope he's not on the same monthly schedule as Gisele? Where are his tights and North Face? I don't think any of these words would do this image justice.

Jesus, Tom. Think of the children.

[Source: Boston.com]

Kanye and Jay Z Make A Pretty Good Mixtape

2011-08-19T22:50:00.004-04:00

So I've had the collaboration album, "Watch the Throne," since its release, and I just have to say that it is not that great.

I could talk about each song and my likes and dislikes or each, but most of my problems with each song are the same: they feel unfinished. I could be bobbing my head to a song and getting into it when all of a sudden, the song is over, and I am left saying "that's it?"

Truth being told, for two rappers who claim to be at the top and the best out there they didn't live up to their own egos. If you're going to tell me to "watch the throne" every minute, you better make damn sure I have a reason to.

There's nothing really I hate about this album (except for "Lift Off" because it is just a terrible song), but there also isn't anything I particularly love about this album either.

Ultimately, this album felt more like a mix tape for me. It was just lacking something that made it fall extremely below expectations.

Watch The Throne is available here.

Where are Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg When You Need Them?

2011-08-19T22:33:00.007-04:00

This past week, Kurt Barton, former chief executive of Triton Financial, was accused of running a $50 million Ponzi Scheme involving lots of people including NFL kicker David Akers. Akers testified to losing $3.7 million in investments to Barton. Barton claims that his failure comes from bad business decisions and not a scam.

Read the short article here.

This immediately reminded me of "The Other Guys" starring Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg. The movie follows the two as they try and take down a man who is running a Ponzi scheme. The movie is from 2010, and I'm sure most of you have seen it, but it you happen to have not seen the film, you need to watch it ASAP. It is an extremely funny buddy comedy, and is the best cop parody movie out there in my opinion.

[Source: The Post Game]

Dropkick Murphys + Roadies = BEST THING EVAH

2011-08-19T21:11:00.000-04:00

Your Stanley Cup Champion Boston Bruins posted a link to a raffle today on their Facebook page which we here at the Boston Pissah are incredibly excited about. Overjoyed about, actually. After all, who wouldn’t want to be the Dropkick Murphys’ roadie for a day?

The Claddagh Fund--the charity established in 2009 by Dropkick Murphys founder Ken Casey--has teamed with the Boston Bruins Foundation to host an online raffle for “Roadie for a Day” promotion. Trip includes round trip airfare to Boston Logan Airport for two people, plus two nights hotel accommodation and two tickets and all-access backstage passes for the SOLD OUT Dropkick Murphys show at Fenway Park on Friday, September 9th, 2011.

As a roadie for the day, spend the day backstage with the band, see what goes on behind the scenes, help set up for the show, be there for sound-check, hang out in the DKM dressing room, meet the bands and of course see Dropkick Murphys play Fenway Park from a VIP spot on the side of the stage.

Now, who wouldn’t want to be a Dropkick Murphys fan? And who wouldn’t want to live the charming lifestyle of a roadie, even for as little as a day? It’s one of Americas great forgotten professions, like carnies and traveling salesmen. I’ve long romanticized about enjoying the life of a roadie: the long hours, the back-breaking work and the lack of a need to take a shower any more frequently than two weeks.
Plus, you get to be a roadie at Fenway Park, Peter King’s beloved bandbox. No place is better suited to host a concert than America’s oldest and most cramped ballpark.

Where can I buy tickets?

[Source: Facebook]

Boston Bands: Gentlemen Hall on ABC, New EP Coming

2011-08-16T20:47:00.001-04:00

This isn't the most honest interview, if you've ever talked with or hung out with these guys, but it's absolutely hilarious. And having worked with these guys, it's absolutely awesome to see them starting to become a pretty big deal (ABC interview, first unsigned band to win Billboard's Battle of the Bands, etc.).

The interview underneath is not particularly informative, but if you want particularly informative interviews, you're looking at the wrong guys. If you're looking for some awesome indescribable music made by guys who are still having fun with their lives, you've found the right place.

Check out Gentlemen Hall's single, Blush. They're also playing two shows in Boston in the next month: this Saturday, August 20th at the Prudential Center and Friday, September 16th at Brighton Music Hall. For more info, check out their website here.

[Source: ABC News]

Blogger "Sells Out" By Taking Down Child Porn

2011-08-16T19:05:00.003-04:00

Maybe you know how utterly stupid people can be, maybe you don't. But as PT Barnum once said, "You will never go broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public." Either way, here's the story in brief: "America's top radio shock jock said Tuesday even he thinks a Boston blogger went too far by posting a picture of New England quarterback Tom Brady's naked toddler son on on the Internet."

Let me be clear, by the way. This wasn't just any random radio host. This was Howard Stern — a man who is best known for doing shit like having girls catch meatballs with their asses, having small penis competitions, and generally being a pretty fucked up member of society. Meaning that normal peoples' reactions tended to look somewhat like this:

"Really Barstool? I know you’ve never been one to play by the rules or embrace any form of civility whatsoever, but when you guys woke up this morning, you must have asked yourselves if this really was a good idea. Because it wasn’t. It was a terrible idea.

As someone from New England and someone who writes for and supports sports blogs, I’d just like to tell you that you make me absolutely sick. You fulfill every stereotype ever invented by people outside of New England and/or old newspaper columnists. You are worthy of every bit of wrath you get from this moronic moment. You are an insult to both our region and our industry. There is no form of scum lower than you."

And still, this guy, David Portnoy, did not seem to get the message. It took a visit by state police before he even considered taking them down. And even then, he didn't seem to think that that the thousands of people telling him he was an idiot might have a point: "I was torn, to be totally honest, because I kind of felt like, in a way, I was selling out by taking it down. But I wasn't ready to fight that fight."

You don't want to fight that fight? Whether or not those pictures are legally child porn, do you really want the entire discussion surrounding you? Posting pictures of naked children — sorry, what and whom, exactly, are you selling out on? Individuals trying to promote naked pictures of children? You were being classless and not respecting yourself by....taking them down? I........what?

[Source: The Boston Channel, PineRiders]

Dentist Trades Drug Prescriptions To Cop A Feel

2011-08-12T21:56:00.001-04:00

Here's an oldie, but a goodie. Back on November 29th of last year, dentist Steven Miller was arrested by authorities after being tipped off that "the 68-year-old Wareham dentist also dispensed prescriptions for pain-killing narcotics and other drugs in exchange for sexual favors from female patients." However, unlike our favorite Dunkin' Donuts Employee, the sexual favors were less explicit; instead, he was allowed to fondle his patients' breasts and asses.

Anyways, to bring you up to date on the case, Miller pleaded guilty in March to distribution of the painkillers. As of today, he has been sentenced to "electronic monitoring for the first six months of a two-year term of probation and up to 104 random drug tests per year," despite the fact that he was facing up to a $1 million fine and 10 years in the clanger. This is mainly due to the fact that he has "shown remorse," having voluntarily surrendered his dentistry license and $90,000 from the sale of his practice.

[Sources: Boston Globe, Boston Herald]

Rise of the Rise of the Planet of the Apes

2011-08-12T20:27:00.002-04:00

Rise of the Planet of the Apes opened last weekend, and as a fan of the original films, I was very excited to watch this one.

The film follows Will Rodman, played by James Franco, as he attempts to find a cure to Alzheimer's. He comes up with a virus to enhance brain repair, and tests it on chimps. The tests fail and all the chimps are ordered to be put down, but Will saves and takes home the baby of an enhanced chimp, Caesar.

Caesar inherits the virus enhancement from his mother, and thus he is extremely smart and has increased brain function and development. Skipping the story so I don't ruin the film for you, Caesar ends up becoming the chimp that starts the rebellion of apes and what later becomes the planet of apes.

This film is extremely well done. It keeps you engaged as you are intrigued to see Caesar grow and develop. The one thing I really like about it is that the film successfully gets you attached to the apes, and you want to see them win and rise up against the humans.

However, there are a few problems I have with this movie. For example, when the rebellion starts, Caesar gets as many apes with him as possible by going to zoos and labs to break them out, but it is never shown how those apes become smart. Even a two-second scene of Caesar grabbing some of the chemicals would have sufficed. Also, James Franco's character dates this girl for five years, and never once do the topics of Caesar's intelligence or Franco's job arise in conversation, which I just don't believe would really happen. It's the little things that would make this film so much better.

The other (larger) problem I had with this movie is the ending. I don't want to reveal the ending, but let's just say that the film should really be titled Rise of the Rise of the Planet of the Apes. It is explained how the humans die off (stay for a bit of the credits), but the apes don't really take over as the title of the film implies.

Nevertheless, this was one of the better films I have seen in a while — better than any of the others I have seen recently — and deserves 85 out of 100.

[Image Source: IMDB]