Bottled Anarchy

Head Shots

2012-02-07T22:32:00.000-06:00

I got the previews of my head-shots. My opinions mean nothing regarding them so I'll be asking input from others around me. It's cool to have them available for sure. Now it's time to try and put them to work.

I also have beer I haven't bottled yet. That is on the list of shit to do. Right now #1 is go to bed after eating 5 eggs. Done.

Re-Branding

2012-01-29T23:30:00.000-06:00

Trying out a new look on this thing, which is actually the old look. Goal is to get this content migrated over to my site shortly, but I don't know enough to make it happen.

Signed-up for a class on Dabble and am pretty excited to try some new stuff out. Also had the luxury to venture to the Chinese New Year parade today. It was cold, but worth the standing around. I also have some tasty guava candy.

Tried the first of my beer.... I'm going to enjoy this batch. Now to keep up the production for the rest of the year.

Run Run

2012-01-28T13:38:00.001-06:00

Let's all make sure we are running at something instead of away from something. It makes it easier to know when you've arrived.

Fuck yes. Running to..

Tonsillar Crypts

2012-01-25T23:50:00.000-06:00

Those things exist, and they make your breath smell like shit. Just found out what they were clinically called. Up until now they were "those things that smell like shit I cough up on occasion". Now I can find ways to combat them.

The first batch of beer has been bottled, second batch in the closet. One month dry and smoke free. I'm not a fun person to be around. It's getting better.

Building Pyramids

2012-01-08T18:00:00.000-06:00

There is a little over 5 gallons of liquid sitting in my closet fermenting into beer. Didn't take any gravity measurements on this batch because I forgot to. I also put too much water in the 6 gallon carboy. Only issue it caused was now I'm using a blow-off tube instead of the standard airlock. The thermostat and brew belt have proven to be less useful than I had hopped. Most of it revolves around the availability of three pronged plugs in spaces I want to store the beer. My next investment is a shitty apartment in a basement with a floor drain and open space. I'm only half-joking.

Last week I worked 5 days even thought we were only scheduled to work 4. That was my choice and I'm glad it was made. Still not caught up with the load I've taken on but again, that's my own fault. If there is something to be done I'm all about putting it on my plate. Starting to gauge exactly how much I can have on my plate at one time and still not go insane.

I'm aware it doesn't make much sense to update a blog when you're up to your neck in work. Some people decompress differently.

My personal confidence has been pretty low the past few years. Not sure what the root cause would be. Part of me thinks it's taking modestly to far. When you try to be humble it's pretty easy to just dismiss your abilities and devalue yourself. Going to focus on that for sure.

Alright, done with this for now.

Hibernation?

2012-01-05T21:09:00.000-06:00

For the past two days all I want to do is sleep when I get home. I'm chalking the lethargy up to increased physical and mental strain. Not sure how that really would factor in, but it sounds nice.

Been decent about working out. Only put two days in this week, but starting slow isn't a bad idea. Right now I'm just going to crash out and make a run full speed at tomorrow. Didn't make anything for lunch, but there is a Snarfs at 600...

Happy Monday

2012-01-02T10:36:00.000-06:00

Happiness is waking up in clean sheets and a semi-clean room. Productivity wise it was a B-, but who want's to be the valedictorian anyway. The majority of my clothes are clean and many papers were tossed. Such a pussy thing to champion one's self on.

The first snow to stick fell last night. I will now attempt to brave the frozen precipitation with my thermal underwear and boots. This attire might be overkill, but that's why I have it. Decided to head into work today and get some things caught up. Might not be the best move on a day I don't have to go into the office, but what the fuck. Next item on the agenda is getting a lunch together, and getting out of there in a reasonable time. One mustn't be at work too late on their day off.

Errands About Town

2012-01-01T21:45:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was the first time I went grocery shopping in over two weeks. Don't go when you are hungry and have no ideas for any meals. Otherwise you might end up with a hundred bucks worth of food and scant possibilities for meals in the coming weeks. In my defense though, the staples are there. Still don't know what I'm going to make, but that will be decided tomorrow.

Hung out with a friend on Friday and talked about how I was getting back into the swing of writing. It also happened to come up that I wanted to be writing/performing comedy professionally when I was 27. For someone with that as a goal, I really didn't do much of it. Even now I don't write too much in regards to comedy. The difficulty level isn't any higher than any other form of writing, but my guess is that it's just as personal as poetry. Everybody could probably produce something, but when it's bad... it's really bad. Nobody want's to be know as the person that writes shitty comedy. I guess it's better to write shitty comedy than to talk about writing good comedy and not produce anything.

Finished two books while on vacation. The first was Steve Martin's Born Standing-Up and the second was Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. Loved reading both of them. However the prospect of the second being made into a movie is very exciting. I loved the director's work on Night Watch and Day Watch. Can't wait to see how this movie turns out. Working on finishing up Brewing up a Business. I like the book, but never dove into it mostly because I haven't been brewing. The spark is back, so let's see where it takes me.

Currently doing laundry and looking for a reason to not clean up my room. This Internet is a playground. Fucking ADHD.

Happy New Year

2012-01-01T01:41:00.002-06:00

May it be everything that you didn't get/do/finish/start/love/hate last year.

Breaking the Law

2011-12-29T21:21:00.000-06:00

Looking like anything other than a wholesome farmer or church kid will get you pulled over in Ephrata. I say this not from an old bias, but from being pulled over on Wednesday. I was at a stop light waiting to make a legal left turn. I made the turn and proceeded down the road for two blocks. The cop that made an illegal U-turn to get behind me light up the rollers. Busted!

As I pulled over, rolled down the window and turned off the engine I asked my mother what was wrong with her car. I made the assumption there was something janky on it that caused this officer to escort me to the side of the road for a citation. He quickly came up and asked for my license and registration. He informed me that the tabs were expired. The tags expired December of 2011.

Now I was going to say they were being dicks, which they might have been. But after looking at Washington State law there are different expiration date for each person. In all fairness they could have been expired since the 1st. In the end I didn't get a ticket and was sent on my way. Still fucking sucks to get pulled over.

I also flew home. It took 3 flights. I'm getting used to this flying thing.

Exercise Machine

2011-12-27T19:45:00.002-06:00

An elliptical machine to be specific, and the number of miles put on the thing is dastardly low. Today the total time spent on it was upped by 11 minutes. Pretty fucking rad right? Also threw some blows on the Wii boxing, almost pro at that mother-fucker. Not familiar what constitutes going pro on Wii boxing? No worries baby birds, momma is hear to feed you. At 1000 experience points you are a pro. Seems like an attainable goal right? Sure, most games give you 1000 points for putting your name in when you start. Not this one scumbags. You have to earn your points. For each KO you get 75. For every decision you get between 56 and shit nothing. I'm undefeated ass-chaps, that's a big fucking zero in the loss column. I'm the fucking contender.

After beating the shit out of some cyber chumps and elliptically moving roughly a mile, I had a hunger inside me. Decided to take my sweat glistening body to the shower for a lukewarm shower with less than adequate water pressure. After the second most disappointing shower of my life, my mother and I hopped in the '91 Ford Explorer for a run to town. My sister works at a fabric shop that rents time on equipment for quilting. A quilting machine costs about $12,000.00. My sister informs me she is going to get one soon so she can save money on renting time on it. I ask her how much a quilt costs to make. She states about $100. I ask what she can sell a quilt for. She states about $250. I ask her if she is going to open a business where she makes a fuck-ton of quilts and rents the machine out after she drops 12K on the mother-fucker. She says she would only use it for making her own quilts and doesn't want to start a business. She has a masters degree. I think she majored in being dumb and poor.

This new bit of knowledge really gave me perspective on how fruitless trying to change the world can be. We bought some bitchin' yarn and headed to our next stop in the downtown district of Ephrata. Itinerary stated we needed to get some new wiper blades for the beast I was piloting down the main drag at a staggering 25 miles per hour. That's like 40 KM an hour for the smarter folks on the metric system. Saw the O'Reilly auto parts a mere block away and performed a controlled brake and turn into the parking lot. Went in the store and looked a fool when the guy asked if he could help me and I said "Yes". Some bad-ass at the checkout, who probably was driving that Mustang with only 3 wheels that I saw in the parking lot, gave me a look of disappointment. Told the dude behind the counter that I needed some wiper blades. He countered with "What size". Fuck bro, you got me. "I don't know man" was all I could get out while choking back the tears of being car-tarded. "No sweat, I'll look them up, what are you driving?" "A Ford Explorer amigo." "What year?" Fuck me again, I had no idea. "I don't know man, it's my mom's, let me go check." Double pussy move, how will I ever show my face back there again? I thought about bolting down the street to the next place where I could save face, but I'm sure the dude had already called every parts dealer in the county to share a laugh about my lack manliness. Came back in the store after checking the registration. "Hey guy, it's a '91." "Cool, that takes 18 inch." Now we're cooking. I grab one wiper and put it on the counter. "You'll probably need two." "Look you cocksucker, I know I'll need two, I just wanted to take two trips up to the counter! Now ring this shit up and put it on my American Express so I can earn some points out of this demeaning purchase!" "Sounds good guy, have a great day." "Fuck you asshole!"

Feeling my dick and balls trying to hang themselves in shame, it was time to get my manhood back. We're going to DK's for a big fucking burger mother of mine. She was down, so we cranked up the AM station where the iPod signal was supposed to be received from her car adapter. After rocking to a good 4 minutes of static an hisses we arrived at DK's. I said we're going in because it takes just the same amount of time as doing the drive-thru. Plus, this is the place where the cute-ass high-school girls work. Time to break some hearts and get a mean fucking burger. Walked up to the counter with money my mom gave me in the parking lot and ordered for all of us. Double Bacon Burger basket. LARGE. Mushroom Burger. Onion Rings. LARGE. Mother Burger... that's right you little sweet angel, I said the Mother Burger. What's that? You've never seen anyone order that? Looks like you never seen a man then. Call me in a year, or in a couple hours if you can keep your underage mouth shut. Sat and talked to my mother about how fucking bad-ass I am at my Internet job in Chicago. Talking just loud enough to moisten middle thighs within ear shot. After bragging about my successes in life and travel, my name is called to get our food. Matt? I raise all 6 feet and 150 pounds of my bearded self up out of the faded orange bench and strut to the counter. Little baby girl drops the food on the counter and walks away without making eye contact. Guess she couldn't handle everything that was in-front of her. That or she is a 17 year old lesbian. Bitch.

Fire up the chariot and make a beeline home. Ate two onion rings on the way there because I'm a skilled driver, I multitask shit. Destroyed that Mother Burger like it was a child burger, maybe even a zygote burger. My balls high-fived my dick and shotgunned some beers in celebration. Manhood restored.

Today was a good day.

Missing Ingredient

2011-12-26T14:18:00.000-06:00

At times one can get entrapped by what they are doing, where they are living, or where they want to go in a year. You might find that you have fully thrown yourself into a career and your life now is dictated by that. Another person may have entered your life and you now are acting not for yourself, but for the union you share. I've been in both, and they are both equally worthwhile endeavors.

My trip home has afforded me a chance to be alone. I've made a point to sit with nobody around, either online or off. Sitting in a quiet isolation with music and a cup of coffee. There are constant distractions around me with work and social life. Here there is an opportunity to shut them all off and just ponder what is true to me right now. My mind often drifts to work and my life in Chicago, but when I can force that out, it's a nice reflection on what I'm all about. I can ask myself questions that are normally put aside in favor of the bustle that surrounds me. The best vacation I can ask for is one that allows me to visit myself.

There was always a part of me that never thought of being 30 years of age. Even if I did it was with this stereo-typical life. Having a family, maybe kids, and firmly rooted in a place I would call home for a long duration. Being back here has shown me what that looks like, what that feels like, and what sacrifices people have to make for that comfort. I've never really be a creature of comfort aside from a nice warm blanket. My wheelhouse is trying to climb the mountain of adversity and then standing on it just long enough to tackle the next. However that can wear on you when you never reach the top of you proverbial mountain.

These few days are my rest. They are my self-evaluation of what I'm really fighting for and against. After some time looking at the reasons, they seem to be me fighting myself. Fighting for some recognition to wave in the face of the rest of the world. It's gotten to the point where I've forgotten why I want that. What will be enough? When can I quit fighting for more? Will it ever be worth the fight?

I just had a small freakout because I had one task to do over the holiday for work, and I forgot to do it. Right now I have my other laptop open trying to get the information I need to submit pulled up. It's taking a while on this wireless connection. Why is it that I would have a ball of tension in my stomach over something that is done? I can correct it, I will correct it, but it seems so bizarre that one misstep can send me into a panic this easily. I need to balance this better. I will balance this better.

Since I got home I haven't touched any alcohol. Maybe it's just too boring here to think that having a drink will make it more fun. Maybe it's the amount of driving that you need to do to go anywhere. What it seems to be, is that I don't need to drink. Doing something for the sake of doing it is ridiculous. Time to shift my focus to other things.

From here on out, only going to update with things I've done. No more future plans, just reality of what happens.

Wrap it Up

2011-12-05T00:25:00.002-06:00

It's safe to say we are now officially in the Homestretch of 2011. Normally people chose this time to either bless or curse the year in general. My 2011 has had a fair share of polarizing moments, but I couldn't definitively say good or bad either way. The good things have proven to be much more daunting than expected. The bad things proved to be necessary for me to be happy. I guess this is one of those years when you just nod your head and acknowledge that the year did indeed happen.

It's a weird realization that most of my posts revolve around the end of some self-destructive streak where I use this blog as a way to pledge publicly to a better lifestyle. In this instance it's only half true. For the past week I've been working out more consistently and cutting back on the amount of partying in my life. Rode my bike for the first time in a couple months which was a nice change of pace. There is also something very calming about getting to workout everyday at lunch. Now I'm starting to look at supplements to take after my workouts. Weird how dude-bro I got about this.

I signed up for an online dating sight. If your first reaction is "What the fuck for?" well good for you. The reason is because I don't introduce to myself to strangers. I also don't go to bars and flirt with everyone hoping something will stick. The approach of "keep throwing shit against the wall until something sticks" really shouldn't be used in dating. Not sure how to properly use the online platform, but it's a start. Perhaps I'll find a person that shares my interests and travels light with baggage.

Buying plane tickets really sucks. My family gives me a hard time about never coming home for visits. After about a year of not visiting you forget why you haven't been home and succumb to their wishes. Then you pay for the flights and instantly realize why you don't go home that often. Also made the mistake of going home for 7 days. Not sure what I'll be filling my time with, but I should make a list. I also need to get my driver's license so when I'm home there are options. Options being escape plans. Not sure how the trip is going to turn out, but it could be interesting for sure.

All that aside, I'm still up because I forgot that Barq's Root beer as caffeine. I also took a nap from 5PM to 10PM. Another quality move. Let's shot for 4 solid hours of sleep.

Improv

2011-11-12T19:59:00.001-06:00

Yes, I still do improv. Very rarely now, but tonight I do a show.

Let's get that funny bat out and hit some fuck-shits in the face with it.

Fart.

Early Times Remix

2011-11-08T05:50:00.000-06:00

And we're not talking about that trash-gut whiskey either. We're talking about waking your ass up at 5 motherfuckin' 30 in the morning. Last week I made it two days before succumbing to a late wake that resulted in a late night on the same day. I'm pretty sure we can get through 3 of the 5 days on the early times schedule. Ideally it would be the whole week, but we mustn't be greedy.

Hit the gym for the first time in what feels like a few years. Got a 1 and 3/4 mile in at an 8 minute pace. My heart was trying to beat out of my chest and my ear just stopped ringing this morning. I'm looking forward to working out on a more consistent basis. Nothing like some physical activity to eat up some stress during the day. I forgot how little bothers you when you are catching your breath just trying to get water back in your system.

Alright, time to shower and attack the day. I should round up a water bottle for work since I seem to have misplaced every container for water I've ever taken there.

Root Beer and Thai Food

2011-11-06T22:43:00.000-06:00

Pretty sure the path to happiness lives in delivered Thai Food and root beer. It shares a home with slightly uncomfortable gas pressure. I'll take the good with the bad.

There is a full understanding that quitting smoking cannot be done with "breaks" in the process. As far as I have ever made it in the process I always lapse by thinking it won't be more than one day. It always will be, so time to just deal with that.

Getting a full night's rest is a great way to start a week. I think. Done it before, but never on purpose. Perhaps this space heater will motivate me to wake up in the morning. Probably not.

TCB

2011-11-01T21:53:00.000-05:00

That acronym is amazing. Never has so much been said in so little. If it could have an income bracket, it would be 30-35K a year. However it would be making well into the $80k range with all the side jobs it had. TCB. The legend.

I guess Elvis made it famous, but that's the first I've heard about it. Been doing the 5:30 AM wake-up for two days in a row. Not killing me, but right now I could fall asleep at a metal concert. Nothing really of note as of late. Lots of business type things happening around me but they make for poor conversation.

I am convinced that Chase is trying to fuck with me. Every payment that's been made online with them has delivered in a day. The one time I'm late on a payment by a day, it takes 3 fucking days. Not sure if the two financial institutions are in cahoots, but it is super frustrating.

That's all I have in me for tonight.

It's just a table you moron.

2011-10-30T22:50:00.001-05:00

No people, it's a workstation. You may just call it a table and chair, but to me it's a complete corner of productivity. What makes me think that this little nook is going to make any difference on how productive my time outside of work will be? Great question jerk, here are your answers.

1. With this "sitting" at "a desk" feel, rarely do I drift into a "power nap" that "may" or "may not" last for "the rest of the night". Amazing how not laying in bed propped up on pillows changes the way you look at working.

2. There is now a functional USB mouse with accompanying mouse pad. Big-time right? No more fumbling on the track pad while trying to navigate from page to page. I can even use programs like Excel without becoming irately frustrated and drifting over to my vacant Google+ page.

3. My lamp does more than annoy me when waking from said "power nap". Weird how secondary light serves a purpose when at a desk. Instead of doing crunches up to my keyboard to use the monitor's faint light to read the keyboard, I use a real light source. The delete button doesn't get as much love as it used to. However my squinting bill had gone down considerably.

4. There is a lot of power in segmenting your work and play. Alright play may be the wrong verb to describe what I do in my bed. Perhaps segmenting lazy and work. Whatever the most appropriate word, it's good to have a designated area that you consider the work zone. I already have books stacked on this table and Dilbert comics hung on the wall. Dilbert comics are a lie. I still have books on this table.

5. Because I'm going to work more at my table. As retarded as it sounds, if I have this table set up with a computer... I'll be compulsive about sitting down and doing shit on it. Point and case? This stupid update. I already updated this thing once today. Now it's just blah blah shit. What would you do this for then? Because the computer was open and I felt like making something. I even have headphones on so I can focus exclusively on this shit. BAM

There is much more on my plate I wish to get completed. The only thing I wanted to get done today I forgot to do. After looking at my old workstation (bed) it was determined new sheets were in order. I have the same sheets that came with the bed when I inherited it. Sounds gross, but I wash them regularly. And I don't play much in my bed. Regardless I'm due. Made it to the Target with that thought pressing my skull. Made it into the store, acquired work-out gear, new jeans, dryer sheets, and hair-clippers. No sheets.

Hey, since we're on the subject... anyone good at cutting hair? I have a simple taste in mind. If there is a big enough demand, we can have a hair cutting party where we all take turn cutting hair. Yes, this is a bad idea if someone has lice. Please don't respond if you have lice.

Looked up a map of the Chicago Pedway. That's the underground system in downtown, not a walking tour for kid-touchers. Nobody told me I had to take the train to the Washington stop to make it worth my while. The things you learn when you don't rely on other people to tell you truth. Fucking amazing. I can't wait to take advantage of this when it's 3 degrees out and the moisture from my breath freezes my mustache to my beard.

Time to stop rambling. Be a champ, drink a "Champs Cola".

Decade #3

2011-10-30T17:20:00.000-05:00

That's right folks, 30 fucking years and I'm still around.

Not going to make any large declarations, not going to pretend to fix all the problems that might be lingering. Time to stop thinking I can yank the wheel in a new direction on this road and instantly find happiness. The car is going to keep moving so just keep a steady hand and make sure you notice what is around you.

Reading "Born Standing Up" which was a gift from my buddy Sam. I may finish it tonight as it's a solid read. Also doing some laundry. I really like doing laundry.

Looking to get tickets home for the holidays. I will be going home over Christmas, but for how long I'm not sure. Planning trips home causes so much anxiety for some reason. Whatever the case I'm looking forwards to seeing my mom and sister.

I guess it's time to yank the laundry from the dryer. This is what adults do...

Hard Reset

2011-10-23T15:25:00.000-05:00

Working with tech devices has taught me the value of a hard reset. The majority of all issues being experienced can be fixed by simply turning the device completely off. All software that is running is closed, all hardware with power juicing through it is stopped. Everything is essentially dead for 10 seconds. And barring a massive defect in the structure of the hardware, when the device is turned on everything goes back to running as normal. So what is the equivalent of a hard reset for humans?

I tacked a couple extra days onto a work trip to San Fran hoping to rejuvenate my spirits and come back to Chicago with a solid outlook. The time there was good and the company was great. Hell even the work function was pretty great too. There just was something missing that wouldn't allow me to fully relax. Every attempt to reset and get things back to a place where I was excited about doing things outside of work, pushing the envelope with comedy, meeting new people, even simple things like cooking dinner weren't there. I actually came back and proceeded to not shower until today. Yes, that is how gross and pathetic it was. However all motivation was missing. Feeling that way really sucks ass.

There isn't an easy reset to get things back on track. It takes time and effort. So while things may have felt a bit off for the past few weeks, this is my attempt to get them back on track. Do some laundry, pay some bills, cook some food, and write some words. I just want to shake this funk so I can look back and realize how amazing this was.

Endless Shrimp

2011-10-04T22:51:00.000-05:00

My count was 50 when Charley and Jimmy said it was time to go. I think I could have downed another 10, but let's not tempt fate tonight.

Last time we went to Red Lobster it was what we thought would be the last time for a decade. We held out for 3 months and were back. This time for reals, not going back for a long time.

Finally, We Recognize the True Heros

2011-10-02T02:46:00.000-05:00

Plan for Tomorrow, Play for Today

2011-09-24T16:34:00.000-05:00

There are only so many hours in the week, so making the most of the weekend is always on the mind. Planning meals, doing shows, seeing people, trying new projects, and maintaining the chores in your life require some budgeting. Today has been about online projects and some house cleaning. There was also talk of making some food and basic shopping. While they all need to be done, I'm feeling like I haven't had any time to relax for almost a month.

I've been staring the list of objectives in the face and haven't started any of them. The first boss I ever had said you get more done working 6 days a week than you do 7. I never questioned the statement because not having a day off sucked. It became more evident too as I had other jobs that if you don't have down time to really focus on doing nothing, you end up doing nothing when you should be doing something.

Downloading a video game demo right now, and might even purchase it if I like it. Going to make chicken sandwiches, drink squirt, and play video games until I feel motivated to do something productive.

Taking a break from Saturday.

Walgreen's Night Time

2011-09-17T21:56:00.000-05:00

Weekends are the time when you can relax and shake off that work week. They are also times when you can afford to get sick and stay in bed. Hooray, getting sick on a weekend is just as much fun as one could imagine! Can't wait to get a mixed cocktail of Night Time brand cold relief liquid in my gut before drifting off for 12 hours. Gonna get crazzzzz....zzzzzz.zzzzz.....zzzzzz.

Of course as you can guess, I'm not sleeping. This shit is supposed to hit you like Ike hit Tina, but as of now, nothing. If it wasn't for the cap I threw the measuring cap away and was just pulling from the bottle, I'd take another dose. As of now I don't know how much I've had.

Getting a sound board via Amazon so I can get my new podcast up and running. Looking forward to putting some audio back on the Internet. Format will be totally different than anything I've done in the past and probably a whole lot funnier. Just have to make a few preparations on my end before it launches. Stay tuned.

Digital Overload

2011-09-15T22:51:00.000-05:00

When a person sits for 9 hours in front of a computer for wages, they want to make sure the free time they have is not doing the same thing. The only problem is when all your projects outside of work also involve being in front of a computer. Paying bills, investments, looking for a vacation package, figuring out AdSense, and building a website. All are tough to do offline.

The picture above has nothing to do with anything, but when you stumble across it, you have to share it.

Got a damage deposit back from an old roommate and put it in the bank. There was also some back-pay from my job that cleared my account as well. The only problem I see about booking a vacation right now is that at my job we really don't have a timeline for when it will be reasonable for me to be gone for 10 days. Part of me says "Just book it and run", but the rational side says be patient and plan some shit out.

I've got computer burn out bad. Time to just sit in the dark and rock back and forth.