Boy in the Big Apple

Where are the New Posts!?

2012-06-29T10:05:00.001-07:00

I've moved on to Tumblr... Here I can really share all of wacky adventures here in the Big City. Check it out:

Gay Bomb: The Musical!

2012-05-01T11:22:00.003-07:00

I've been busy. Some good and some bad. Lately I've been working on my first off-off-Broadway musical. This Friday at the Magnet Theater in New York City, we will see the opening night for Gay Bomb: The Musical! It's a brand new musical loosely based on real events where the U.S. military was considering a plan to produce a bomb to turn enemy soldiers gay. Their theory was that the enemy soldiers would be so consumed with lust that they would drop their arms and have sex with each other. Thus the U.S. could invade and finish any war. Pretty silly right? Well some friends of mine wrote a musical comedy based on that very same idea and took it further. Read about it here: Gay Bomb: The Musical! I play Bruce, the sidekick/best friend of the hero of the story. It's a super fun role, and it really feels nice to be working on a play/musical again. I've been doing a lot of improv comedy, and there have been times when I've really missed the process of working on a full production. I love the music for the show, and I feel very lucky because the writers have given me one killer show-stopping number that has a great message. I don't want to ruin the surprise, but I hope to have some recorded version in the near future. Here's a short promo video for the show. Check it out here:

You can buy tickets here: Gay Bomb: The Tickets! I'll have more to report on the show after we open, but I really love the production thus far, and I get to work with some incredible people. What can I say? It's been a blast. Working on a brand new musical certainly has been an eye-opening experience. There have been quite a lot of ups and downs, but everyone is working very hard to make this a really fun show. It's rare that you find that in the theater world. It's taken a lot of resources, time, and energy from everyone involved. We couldn't do it without each other and without you.

If you'd like to sponsor the show wherever you are, we have a Kickstarter event where you can donate money to the production. There are some really awesome incentives to donate, so please go here: Gay Bomb: The Kickstarter! Until then, I really can't wait for Opening Night...

I Made A Video...

2012-03-30T09:23:00.000-07:00

I made this yesterday... I'm hoping to start it as a series, so I'm always looking for suggestions of famous people. Feel free to share it. By the by, if you didn't know me, I'm a HUGE Prince fan. I do this bit out of love and adoration. Enjoy!

My Second Gig - CollegeHumor.com

2012-02-17T17:25:00.000-08:00

I had some slight hesitation about writing on this experience because I wanted to see the finished product of the CollegeHumor.com sketch. I mean I shot this thing all the way back in November, and I didn't want to come off like an ass if the final video cut me out entirely. Let's begin from the start. Back in April, I auditioned for the former casting director of CollegeHumor.com, Adam Newman. I found the audition through one of those pay-to-meet events at a service called The Network. Check them out here: The Network NYC Here in New York, there are three main agencies that host these workshops, classes, and pay-to-meet events. These agencies are: Actor's Connection, The Network, and One on One. I prefer both The Network and One on One because you have to audition to be able to sign up for events, and they always seem to have a nice mix of casting directors, agents, and guest artists. Now these events range in prices with some being pretty costly for a broke actor, but in the long run, I've found these events to be worthwhile investments. So I auditioned for Adam Newman back in April. I used a comedic monologue that's in my current repertoire from a play called "The Balcony Scene" by Wil Calhoun. Adam and I had a short Q & A, and he seemed pretty responsive. He said everyone would be filed away in their database, and that I could possibly be contacted to do a sketch...
Cut to November when I received an email from Lisa asking if I wanted to be an extra in an upcoming CollegeHumor.com sketch. I'd be playing a student for $60 in a sketch set in the 80's as part of an acting class for one of their newer characters, Yeardly Tinsley, a foul-mouthed failed actor. The sketch was to be a part of their newer "VHS" series. Each video was to be centered around a "found VHS tape" with various footage of different shows and specials. Did I want to do the sketch? HELL YES! She soon sent me a script and asked for my dress size. Fortunately I had that day off from work, and I showed up bright and early at 9AM on a Monday at the Atlantic Theater Company with my best "80's clothes". The sketch was taking place in an empty black box studio theater, and we were constantly reminded that we as the "students" were supposed to take this acting class very seriously. We could not crack smiles or laugh if the scene did not call for it. We were told to think of those Michael Caine acting videos set in the 80's.


On-set for "Acting Class"

When arriving on-set, we were greeted with coffee, pastries, and bagels. I was in food heaven. We were asked to hang out while the crew was setting up, and for some of us newer CollegeHumor recruits, we were asked to fill out basic paperwork and tax forms. We also met with make-up and consulted with the costumer about our looks for the shoot. Apparently all of my clothes were considered too dark and drab for the look they were going for. Let it be known that I am terrible at costuming/dressing myself. Our smart costumer chose a look that was bright, fun, and preppy. I was dressed and sent back to set to wait some more. I felt like a villain from all of those high school teen 80's movies. The cast and I came up with fake names for our students. I was to be known that day as "Rick Studebaker". Any minute I was ready to scream, "NERRRRRRRDSSS!"

Meet Rick Studebaker...

Most of the morning was spent snacking and cracking jokes in the makeup room with the star of the sketch, Josh, a CollegeHumor veteran. I had a plan, and that plan was simple. Get to know people, be a nice/funny guy, and get asked back to do more projects. Also if I could get a line or some decent screen time, that would be great too. The interesting thing about doing the shoot was that most of the sketch was improvised. Yes we started out with a script, but I soon learned that Josh was an amazingly talented improviser. The director would let Josh toss out lines, play, and have fun as Yeardly. Josh started out in character, and he just wouldn't quit finding newer and funnier lines. It was like getting a Master Class on how to be funny on camera for sketch and commercials. The shoot went very smoothly and was a ton of fun. Throughout the shoot, Josh would improvise dialogue with the students, and suddenly a light bulb went off in my head... Thanks to my improv training, I was accustomed to listening in a scene and then returning with a line or quip at a moment's notice. I was ready to deliver if called upon. At one point, Josh was to go around and ask various students secrets. Here I thought, "Now this is my big chance!" "Who has a secret," Josh asked. Two kids' hands went up as they were cast per the script. Boom! My hand went up to volunteer. Someone else's hand shot up too. We were then locked as "The Secret Kids". Score! I might get a line in the sketch after all! Soon we were prepping the "Secret Scene", and off we went. It started off with this kid, Brandon. Next came me, then another kid had to share a secret, and finally the secrets would top off with a girl who was cast to deliver the secret that she was molested at a young age. Ahh... comedy. Brandon started by saying he killed a gerbil in grade school. As my turn came, I knew that I had to "heighten" the pattern of secrets by sharing something that was deeper and darker than Brandon's secret. Ding! I had it. While not entirely a true secret, I figured that my character "Rick" was a closet transvestite. I had my secret! The camera turned to me, and I blurted out my secret hoping that it was good enough to make the cut. The next boy delivered a line about throwing up in school, and finally we reached the girl who delivered the molestation bombshell. We finished the shoot with tons of stuff that didn't make the cut such as Brandon delivering a monologue while Yeardly directed him, and I volunteered a few more times to do non-speaking business with Josh. I might have cut some people out from getting some opportunities for screen time, but I guess I figured, "How many chances am I going to be able to do this? "You only live once right? I also supposed that I probably wouldn't see most of these people again, and if I stole some thunder, who cares? I went home that day proud that I made an effort to step forward and speak up. I didn't fade into the background. I took a chance and hoped that it paid off.
For months, I addictively checked the CollegeHumor site to see when the final cut would be posted. Yes I had told friends that I had done the shoot, but I was eagerly anticipating as to what the final sketch would look like. I know it seems insignificant, but this second gig meant the world to me. It was further proof to my circle and to me that I was meant to be here in New York. It's proof that I am funny, talented, and I was meant for something more. Here I was taking one step further into this crazy mixed-up world of theater, film, and television. Yes I did do the All-State ad a while back, but I still haven't seen a copy of it or what it looks like. This simple sketch is further evidence that I'm making strides in the Big Apple, and that my first gig was not a fluke or accident. It's been a crazy ride so far with an even crazier start to 2012, but I feel like we're just revving up the engine. Stay tuned.

Here we are. The final product. What do you think? You can check out the final version of the sketch here:

See more at CollegeHumor

How to Succeed in Life...

2012-02-11T12:10:00.000-08:00

So recently I switched jobs... Okay I was fired. Let's be honest. Some of it was my fault, and some of it theirs. I suppose it was fate, and these things happen for a reason. It certainly woke me up from my general malaise and stupor. I was pretty unhappy for a while, and some of the people were straight up terrible. For a week or two I was dead broke, and thanks to the many terrific friends that I've made here. I survived. I got the hook-up for this job from a friend I made through improv. Thanks to her, she helped me live another day in the Big Apple. So now I've gone from waiting tables to currently working in a call-center for a reputable theatrical company that sells tickets to Broadway shows here in New York and across the country. It's been interesting going from the lunch and dinner rush to the slower pace of office life. I think I'm still getting adjusted... The people here are nice, and I'm currently closer to Actor's Equity HQ to audition for more theatrical productions than I've ever been before. I usually can sneak out on my lunch hour to audition for some regional theater or the latest Broadway hopeful. Here the coffee flows plenty from one of those fancy K-cup machines, I can drink all of the Diet Dr. Pepper I want, and I've decorated my little cubicle to resemble my own little slice of life. The thing is that here it's pretty easy. The money is not as good, but it's easy to get comfortable and feel safe. I just have to be careful... I don't want to get too comfortable. I don't want to forget why I moved to this city. My dream. My love. My constant.
It's been a rough start to 2012 nonetheless... Recently, my professor, mentor, and friend John Dennis passed away. JD, as he was affectionately called, was the head of my MFA acting program at LSU, and by God was he incredible. JD brought me to LSU when a lot of acting schools wouldn't even give me the time of day. For those three years, I grew as an actor under his tutelage, and I would often run to his office for guidance and a place to hide. We shared a mutual love of Tennessee Williams and snide, snarky comments. We had a special bond I think different from some of his other students. His passing has certainly kicked me in the ass to get going and get back to auditioning. This past week, I auditioned for a new diverse version of "A Streetcar Named Desire". I only prepped my Williams' monologue a few nights before, but when I entered the audition room, I felt him there. He was guiding me, coaching me as only he could to get the best out of me. I'm probably going to miss his memorial service this weekend here in Baton Rouge, but I'm pretty sure he would want me to just keep auditioning, hustling, and working. It's also around this time that I think of another friend, Chase Korte. Chase, was one of those superstars during my time at the U of MN that you knew was going to do great things. Unfortunately his life was cut short when his car was crashed into by a drunk driver. At times I feel guilty for living longer than Chase. Sometimes I ask, "Why am I here? Why was he taken?" His passing was so quick and so sudden that I still can't believe it. I still expect to hear his voice or hear about some great project that he's working on. Once he passed, I secretly resolved to live for Chase, to work for Chase, and to do all of the things that he didn't get the opportunity to do. That's why I need the constant reminder to follow this dream. One of Chase's favorite quotes was, "Follow your bliss..."

    Where were we? Oh yes. One of the perks of this new job is that occasionally we get tickets to free shows both Off-Broadway and on. I have this thing that my homework is to try to see theater at least once a month. Keeps me inspired. The night before, I saw "Sistas: The Musical". A decent jukebox musical that was a bit heavy-handed on history and light on character relationships. Last night I got a free ticket to the revival of "How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying". Unfortunately I missed this show with Harry Potter's Daniel Radcliffe and Glee's Darren Criss. This particular production starred Nick Jonas of... Jonas Brothers' fame? Let me just say... Oof. I'm sure he's a nice kid, but he was just very vanilla... Like tapioca. Bland, boring, and could barely sing which is important when you're like in a musical... When your lead female blows you out of the water when doing a duet and your acting can't carry a scene, you're definitely in trouble. I think the show certainly left me empty too. The show is definitely a blast from the past, and this revival had a bright 60's feel that was fun... I guess it just hurts too that thanks to "Mad Men", there's been this huge resurgence of 60's nostalgia. As an actor of color, you'd love to do these kinds of period pieces, but usually the stories don't call for anything other than white faces... Or the casting director's just not that imaginative... So while the supporting cast was very talented, the production just left me wanting something more... Michael Urie from "Ugly Betty" was delightful as usual, and the lead ingenue had a terrific voice. I'm glad I did see the show. I'm definitely grateful for the free ticket. Lord knows I'm still too broke to afford Broadway tickets, but I think this show certainly inspired me. It fueled what things/projects I need to start working on. It energized what I should be working on, and what my art should be. I bought the mug above because I thought it would be cute to have around the office, but I also thought it would be a good reminder as to why I'm here. The show certainly let me know that I still need to raise my voice. To speak up, sing out loud, and just be heard. JD and Chase, I hope you're watching... I'm gonna make you proud. I'm not gonna stop. I've only just gotten started...

Sh*t People Say

2012-01-29T10:52:00.000-08:00

So I made a video straight on the heels of the "_____ People Say" trend. I thought it would be a fun challenge to create, write, and edit a video like this. Here in 2012, I've decided that I want to generate and write more content for myself to showcase my abilities. As an actor/performer in NY it's easy to get down-trodden about not landing the part or auditions. I've learned that sometimes, you just have to create your own work. It keeps you artistically fulfilled and busy. I shot the video around New York with a Flipcam in my neighborhood in Queens and Manhattan. Check it out:

A New Year - Anything Goes

2012-01-07T16:06:00.000-08:00

Sorry it's been a while since postings... It's been a crazy past couple of months. You know... "Holidaze". Lots and little has happened since you last saw me. I've triumphed and failed spectacularly, and I've tried to survive this city as best as I can. Still confused, still fresh, and still optimistic. Still struggling and hustling when I can. Working hard on all things me. Here we are... 2012. Supposedly we have less than a year left if you follow your favorite Mayan calendar. Guess I gotta make some things happen, like now. 2011 was pretty good to me through all of my bitching and moaning. I got my first major paid gig, shot a CollegeHumor sketch, made a house team at an improv theater in NYC, made more good friends, saw incredible theater, and really grew as an artist and a person. Yes I'm still single... (That's whole other post.) Through it all, I've been very grateful to everyone and anything that has helped move me to this place thus far.
I did have a good New Year's holiday. Rather then do the Manhattan thing, I visited a friend, watched a movie, shared a bottle of wine, and then attended a house party in Astoria, Queens. We'll just ignore the four drunken hours I spent trying to get home falling asleep and waking up all over the New York City subway transit system... Thank God I had the next day off. I met up with some friends for brunch in Hell's Kitchen and just finally took it easy...

Anything Goes...

I also saw a show on New Year's Day that got me really inspired. Of all things, it's a remount of a musical classic: "Anything Goes". Yes I saw the one currently on Broadway with Sutton Foster. I could barely afford the ticket, but my friend Colleen was in town. I also have this thing of seeing a show each month. It keeps me grounded, and it makes me feel good as an artist. It's funny because we did the show in college, and I always hated it. It was one of my worst auditions ever. You know the kind where you leave the room and burst into tears? I saw our college production, disliked it save for my friend Eileen, and hated the show forever for cheesy plot and racist undertones. So as I entered the theater for the Broadway production, I had my fingers crossed. I was praying it would be a decent show. After all, you can't go anywhere in New York without hearing the praises for Sutton, and my personal hero Joel Grey was in it. He's a Broadway living legend! As the curtain fell, I left the theater being wowed and falling in love with Sutton Foster. I was also in awe of the terrific cast, dazzling sets and costumes, and furthered steeled myself that I want a career like Joel Grey's... I even ran into Michael Gladis from Mad Men on the way to the bathroom! Seeing the show helped me find my resolve that I deserve to be here. I belong here. My new motto is "Anything goes!"
All that being said, I still feel like I've got a lot of work to do. It's hard for me to relax and do nothing. I've got to keep pressing on. There are a lot of goals and things to do left on my bucket list. A new year usually brings resolutions made and broken. I try not to make them, and I prefer to shoot for targets. Keeps me focused. So for all of you and myself, a simple list of targets. Here we go:

1. See/do more with this city.
2. Date more.
3. Keep building that acting career.
4. Eat less. Keep being active/healthy.
5. Stay happy. Write more.

There... Not so hard, right? Granted, these are not resolutions or promises. They are targets. Some are easier to hit, and some are terribly difficult to shoot. I'll just try to attack them as best as I can. I hope you'll hold me to that. It's all I can offer. I'll definitely be writing more... Stay tuned.

My First Gig

2011-10-23T10:22:00.000-07:00

I got my first gig this week. Let me say that again... I got my first PAID gig this week. Let's do it a third time. I got my first PAID GIG IN NEW YORK THIS WEEK. There... That feels great. Soooo much better. It's not that I'm really trying to brag here. It just feels like a tremendous weight has fallen off of my shoulders. Not many people understand that if you're an actor/actress living here in New York, you have to "prove yourself". You have to show people that you've "made it". You're a "success". Really this whole ordeal just validates you moving here in the first place. It tells you, "It's ok. You made the right choice to come here and chase a dream..." For me especially this rings true with my parents. You see, just booking this thing was a sign from the heavens to my parents that I should not have moved back to Texas. I am great right here where I am in the Big Apple. It also validates the two years I've spent auditioning so far with little success to agents, casting directors, etc. I have a "credit". I also find it especially funny that I got this thing in a field I have little experience in nor would I have ever guessed that I would be cast in: Print Advertising.
I got the gig through this online talent agency I use called The Agency Online: http://www.theagencyonline.com/ What you do is pay a small monthly fee, and you get access to different castings, build a profile, etc. Sometimes they even submit for jobs they think you'd be appropriate for. To be honest, I'd been with them for about a year and a half with no success. I was ready to cancel my membership to save a few bucks that could go towards rent... Or beer. I got an email saying that I was submitted for a print ad for All-State Insurance. "Ok...," I thought. I'm not usually considered print material, but I figured I could go in for the audition. "What the Hell? Right?"

The day of the audition, I was terribly sick. I had spent a week of late night drinking, improv shows, and just running myself ragged at work with gym time in-between. I had a singing audition that got out early, and made it over to the photo studio in Chelsea. It seems that the entire audition consisted of five photos. The client wanted you to be cheering at a football game, and the photographer would snap away in mid-action. I must have looked terrible, but then he called, "Action!" Something came to life in me, and I was screaming and yelling like a maniac. I didn't even think for a second I would get the job. Who casts a guy like me in print ads? Now some may say, "Andrew, you're racially ambiguous! People are always looking for you!" That's not always true... It's a reality/fantasy thing in terms of casting, but that's a whole other post. Honestly it just feels like a numbers game, but on that day I guess I hit the jackpot.

The "Heroes"

I got an email a few days later saying I was on hold to be "The Hero Talent" with the celebrity talent Dean Winters. You know him... He's the current All-State spokesman, and he played the awesome Ryan O'Reilly on that HBO show OZ. A day later I got the confirmation. I had booked the job! I think I was in total shock the entire time... It was print advertising! I never get the job! I'm never the "hero"! Yet here I was... Wardrobe called me with details, I was given a call sheet with the time of the shoot, and yet as a cynical New Yorker, I still could not believe my luck. Here I was the "Hero Talent". I and three others would be in the primary shots with Dean, and we'd get paid a lot more. Score!
The day of the shoot, I made my way to an empty garage/studio in Chelsea for our shoot. I was nervous as Hell. "Don't fuck this up, Fafoutakis!" There was catering, hair & make-up, and a full set. This was legit! I noticed one of the older extras I had seen in a few agent meet-up classes. We approached each other and introduced ourselves. He was one of those types of actors just scrambling and clawing for any crumb of recognition. You know the kind that tells you his resume before he says his name. He was the one in those classes that asks the question during the Q & A portion, "Why am I not getting work!?" He looked me over with a look of disappointment that I was here.

Jaded Extra: "Oh, are you an extra?"
Me: "No, I'm the 'Hero Talent'... I get paid more..."
Jaded Extra: "Oh... Well you know they were talking about promoting me to the "Hero" group too."
Me: "Great..."

I decided then and there not to let this guy get me down. I would have a great day with this, and nobody was going to take this from me or let the air out of my sails. We soon were put in football fan gear for the first half of the shoot. We did a big group scene in the stands cheering with Dean in the middle causing mayhem as the spokesman, Mayhem. I nearly lost my shit when I saw Dean enter for hair and make-up. I've been a big fan of his ever since I saw Oz, so to have him in the same room made this day so special and real. We took our shots in the stands with re-arranging various people in the stands. I was terrified of being cut out of the shot, but they moved me prominently in the stands close to Dean near the end of the shoot. It was finally time for the "Heroes" shot. We were taking the picture in the car with me, Dean, and Michael up in the front. Michael was supposed to be driving with Dean disrupting our trip. I was in the passenger seat supposed to look scared that we would crash. Dean was a total gentleman and very funny on-set. The car could be uncomfortable at times, but he handled it like a pro. He took the time to get to know Mike and me, even though he had to put Mike in a headlock for a few shots. It was probably the most fun job I've ever had.

On-set for All-State

Afterwards, Mike and I went for frozen drinks at Dallas BBQ and talked shop. It was a terrific experience, and I could not be more grateful to everyone involved. I hope to have more days like that one. Short hours of work, being paid great money, catering, and frozen margaritas afterwards. It terrifies me that: "What if this is the only thing I'll ever do in my career?" Will I make it? Will I get another break? Who knows... What you have to tell yourself is to keep hustling, keep reaching, and keep striving for the great things you want to do. You have to tell yourself that you left some things behind to create a bright future. You wanted to start a new life in a new city, a new adventure. This adventure... This city...This whole thing was totally worth it. Thank you, The Agency. Thank you, All-State. Thank you, New York.

Nerd Map

2011-10-11T05:00:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Buzz Feed, this has warmed my nerdy, New York heart. I love that they included Queens and Brooklyn, but there has to be quite a few in the Bronx right?

9/11

2011-09-11T14:11:00.000-07:00

When you do a blog that focuses on life in New York, I'm pretty sure it's expected that one covers 9/11. This might be the one and only time I write about this. Sure there will be future Facebook status updates and maybe some tweets, but I only want to cover this once in full detail. Just listen closely. I think the message is clear. Let's begin. This is the view from my neighborhood in Queens:

How beautiful is that? It's magical at night. It's just a street on my corner. It's a beautiful reminder that I'm following a dream. I live in a city of dreams. It's missing something I know... That's where we find ourselves today. On this day a terrible tragedy took place here in New York. An event that hit so many people far and wide and changed if not the world, it changed our country, my country.
I actually wasn't in New York yet on 9/11/2001. New York City was still a far away dream for me. None of my friends were in NY yet, and I barely knew anyone from the city at the time. I was in my freshman year of college at the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis on the day the planes hit. I got up early to check the internet in my dorm's computer lab. In the lobby of Middlebrook Hall, they have this huge big-screen TV. The 1st plane had hit, and the screen showed a tower on fire. That image is still burned into my memory. I didn't stop to watch the news. I breezed past to the computer room. My morning brain had not processed that something terrible had happened. Later, about noon classes were cancelled. I think I was in my Intro. to Theatre class that was being taught by the department head at the time. He stopped class and announced that all classes were cancelled. Something big had happened. Again, my brain had not made the connection. My rehearsal for my first student play in college met that night. It was our first rehearsal, and we got to know each other. We shared feelings and fears, and decided to cancel the rest of the rehearsal that night. I returned to the dorm, and my fellow dorm-mates on our floor were crowded around the tv in the lounge watching the non-stop coverage. I couldn't watch it. Something inside of me was disconnected. It wasn't that I didn't care. I did. Somehow it just didn't seem real to me. Something out of a terrible dream. I was lost in a fog. My heart went out to everyone affected, and parts of me inside were screaming, "Why aren't you crying? Why aren't you glued to the tv? What is WRONG with you?" I just honestly didn't know how to deal.
Cut to February 2006. I was in the ensemble for this play: The Trial of Osama Bin Laden. The play was terrible and confusing, but it's heart was in the right place. I was just happy to be in the midst of such talent and grace. In the play we had actual video/news segments from 9/11. We had short clips of people jumping from the towers that we had to watch in the middle of the show. The first time we watched them in rehearsal, I finally lost it. Every time I saw those clips I would cry. It finally hit me. It was good knowing that I wasn't cold or dead inside. I was starting to worry that I couldn't feel anything. Thinking of the sacrifice and love that was given burned a fire inside of me. I wouldn't take life for granted. I had to push forward and do what I wanted to do. Follow a dream. Move to a city I love and adore.
I moved here to New York in the summer of 2009. Broke and struggling, times were tough, but I managed. I pulled myself up to a better place, and I'm still a work in progress. Hopefully next year will be better then the one before it. I love New York, and the love affair will never end. It just grows stronger each day, even if it's always a surprise when I can make my rent. I'm heading into the city soon. I'm leaving safe Queens for the unknown in Manhattan to practice with my musical improv team. 5% of me is terrified to see smoke and crumbling towers. The other 95% is proud and happy to step out onto the streets knowing that I'm in a country that is free. Doing musical improv today seems kind of petty in the grand scheme of things on a day of such importance, but it's how I carry on. We have to be strong and rise up against our fear. That's at least what my parents have taught me. And so today I vow to sing and laugh on this day with some special people, and that's how I know that neither side necessarily won... But we will have heart and hope and love. I hope the other side does too. I just want people to remember. To take a moment, to think, and just try to make life better for those around you. Just never forget.

iReporting from Hurricane Irene Update 3: Reflections

2011-08-28T18:47:00.000-07:00

Update! Operation Storm Watch Continues! With more in-depth coverage of Hurricane Irene, I face the aftermath of a city devastated by a national disaster.

Update! iReporting from Hurricane Irene 2011

2011-08-28T09:34:00.000-07:00

Update from Hurricane Irene 2011! Hitting the hard-hitting news. Hard. Covering the important news, so you don't have to!

iReporting from Hurricane Irene

2011-08-27T21:15:00.000-07:00

I've been doing a little iReporting for CNN.com for Hurricane Irene 2011. Here we detail the struggles, the trials, and tribulations of surviving this national disaster. Check it out:

Be Kind, Even on the Internet

2011-08-27T12:23:00.000-07:00

Thanks to of all things Twitter, I found this post. I've only read selective Tweets from Rob Delaney thanks to other people retweeting, but I really appreciate the thought that went into this in terms of apologies, tweets, and perspectives on comedy. It takes a real person of integrity to admit they made a mis-step and take responsibility for it. It's so easy to hide in the vast web on the internet and completely ignore that on a base level we're all human. We all have hearts and minds that wish for the best in our world and in all of us. So often we can see the hideous side of the internet, and it's nice to have a reminder of how great it is that we have this thing that can connect all of us across the globe. I also appreciated his take on how to "make it" in comedy. Every lesson couldn't be more true. Carry on, Mr. Delaney... Carry on... You've just made a new fan.

Be Kind, Even on the Internet:

'via Blog this'

Life in Art

2011-08-23T04:43:00.000-07:00

Thanks to a friend, I went to the Moma (Museum of Modern Art) this past Sunday. I'd forgotten how much I love visiting museums, and I need to get out and see more. Especially when you live in a city bursting with art and creative influences. I only really had two and a half hours to walk through the exhibits before I needed to run to class, and now I've been kicking myself for not spending more time there. Walking through the halls, it is incredible to see so many different individual pieces. Each piece is so unique and inspired. You can almost hear each piece say, "This is my voice. What do you think?" Some I loved, some I hated, some didn't make me feel anything, and some just moved me to an emotional place I hadn't been to in a while. Especially this one:

This is just the final segment from a huge triptych called "To Be With Art is All We Ask...". To see the rest of the work is stunning. It's this huge manifesto, a love letter to art from the artists Gilbert & George with two side portraits of the artists. You read it and fall deeper into the rabbit hole with each line. Seeing it helped spark something in me. A new appreciation for what I do, why I love it, and why I must share it with the rest of the world. Here in the city, it's easy to become bitter and forget why you even pursue this thing called art. You can learn to hate the work, the process, or the bullshit you have to fight through. I've seen too many people give up on art or themselves. They lose the spark, and at times I worry that it will die out in me too. It's nice to have something feed the fire in you again. To feed your heart, your soul, your mind. Granted, it's also good to keep people around you that inspire you and celebrate what you do. You can't do it alone. It's a paradox. Most of the work you do alone, but you work together with many others to grow, learn, and reach success. Just like good old Gilbert & George here you build something together, but first you must develop yourself. Here in New York, it's easy to surround yourself with creative and talented people, and I'm very grateful for that. They only make you look better, work harder, and be stronger. I've been doing theater for almost twenty years now, and to be moved or pushed to keep growing is a wonderful feeling. It's why I love art. It challenges and brings us moments of sheer brilliance and passion. Seeing this piece at the Moma only heightened my love for what I do and encouraged me to press on. To continue. To fight. To love. And so, to be with art is all I ask...

Health & Fitness

2011-08-17T06:15:00.000-07:00

Let's get one thing straight. I used to be a fat kid. In my head, I'm still a fat kid. People who used to know me, knew me as a fat kid. When I see myself in a mirror, it's still through those hideous funhouse mirrors that distort and misshape everything. Being gay makes matters worse because the pressure to look thin, cut, or "like a model/jock" is ridiculous. The heaviest that I can remember being at was 230 lbs. with a 40" waist. It was bad. I recall getting a physical one day for something at school, and I got this card from the doctor that read, "Your child is considered obese." It also carried along with it health concerns and reasons why I should get in shape. Let's just say that I have a weird relationship with food, body image, and exercise. I liken it to a heroin addict jonesing for a fix somedays. I'm addicted to food. Sweets, salty, the worse the better. Nothing feels worse than knowing you're "shooting up" with some candy or something and hating yourself every minute of it.
I really found my weight loss to be more of an accident really. When I moved to MN for college I actually lost the "Freshmen 15" and then some. I lost nearly 100lbs. Somehow the lbs. melted away. My lowest weight was like 132. Trust me. I remember these numbers. They're forever burned into my memory. It started as walking a few miles each day to get between classes. Smaller, decent meals, and then a weightlifting class in the summer got me going, and somehow I haven't looked back. The loss was pretty fast and drastic, and people used to worry that I had an eating disorder. I had to calmly explain that yes, I was eating, and no, I am not sick. I maintained the exercising, and later I even became a personal trainer because I wanted to prove to people that they could make a change. The hard thing was trying to train and encourage clients when I knew how hard, tough, and expensive a change in one's life could be. I'd also feel terrible knowing that I'd "shoot up" again after work or going out. Today I workout on compulsion, gay pressure, and just a need to be healthy. I have to workout. People applaud me for getting up early to do it, but you don't understand. I have to work out. I'm terrified that one day I'll wake up as that unhappy fat kid again. I'm not afraid of dying, I'm afraid of being fat again.
Now, I should be in a good place mentally, physically, and emotionally. You would think that. It doesn't help matters that I watch documentaries like this...

It's really a terrible S&M kind of deal when you have body issues and watch movies like this. In gay culture, you learn so many different ways to hate yourself if you're not perfect. We are our own toughest critics. This movie helps fuel my desire for a better body, but it also plays into that terrible idea of gay culture for the search for a bigger, better body. What can I say? I buy into it. To be fair, it portrays other ideals of gay beauty, and shows ridiculously hot men with low self-esteem issues as well.
I never ever imagined that people would describe me today as "skinny". If you would have told me when I was 18 that I would run a 5k, a 10k, or try to go to the gym 3x a week, I would have laughed in your face. I have to tell myself that the progress I've made is incredible. People would kill to be where I'm at. I should know, I used to be one of those people. There have been numerous attempts and failures that I've had to "eat right" and "workout hard". Now that it's in writing and on the web. Looks like I'll have to hold myself to it. It's going to be slow, subtle, and tough changes, but I know I can do even better. I want to do better. I want to do it in a healthy way and without cheating. I'd appreciate your help and encouragement. Just be careful or conscious what you say to me. It sounds tacky, but again when you offer me a slice of pizza, it's giving a beer to an alcoholic who's been clean & sober for only a few weeks. My will power isn't that strong... yet. I used to work out because I wanted to attract a man or because I felt compelled to as an actor/gay man, but now I just do it for myself. I do it because I want to be the best possible me that I can be. Trust me, working out can be fun. I like it. It also gives you an easy, free high that makes you feel pretty good for the rest of the day. To me weight loss is a war, not just a singular battle. I'm actually proud of my stretch marks. I liken them to battle scars. I am a warrior. I've won the battle, but not the war. I have to soldier on. So... Off to the gym.

A Simple Beginning

2011-08-15T04:24:00.000-07:00

Greetings!

So here it starts... It's 7AM here in New York, and I can feel the city slowly waking up. I just can't sleep as usual. You'd think that I'd be used to being an insomniac, but the shark part of my brain tells me that I need to work on something. My mind races a mile a minute, and I'll probably fall asleep on the train later. At the moment though, I need to do something. New projects are exciting, and they keep one stimulated. As far as this goes, this is a blog, a side project, or maybe just a fleeting idea. As a typical Aries, I am prone to starting new ventures, but never entirely finishing them. Hopefully this will be one that I stick to. I'm hoping that you'll hold me to that. Where does this leave us? As I was thinking of what kind of blog I wanted to do, I kept thinking of my experiences, my life... What will this be about? What's my hook? What do I even call it? There's a line from a Janelle Monae song that goes "I'm an alien from outer space..." It just sticks in my head because it seems that's how I've traveled through life. I had an acting mentor that told me in his office, "Andrew, you're an out-sider, and you'll always be an out-sider looking in." Have you ever had that feeling like you're walking in space? Those that know me don't always know that being a bi-racial kid can be a lonely experience. Add to the fact that you're a boy that likes boys, and it can be kind of isolating. Fortunately, alienfromouterspace.blogspot.com was taken, and so I've realized that I'm just a boy here in the Big Apple. An idea and a dream that took 26 years in the making. At 28, I'm doing what others are afraid to do, have never done, or given up on after some short time. You have to tell yourself that. So here we are. A boy in the Big Apple. Lots to do, lots to see, and great people to meet/laugh with. That's what I love, and that's what I need. Let's see how it goes. It's an adventure right? Let's go. Oh, and good morning, New York.