Boy Mommy

Fine Dining and Teenagers

2017-05-08T14:39:00.000-04:00

Last night my family and I were dining at one of our town’s finest establishments: IHOP. That’s the International House of Pancakes. I had the crepes. Crepes are French. Small had the grilled cheese. Grilled cheese is from . . . where is grilled cheese from? Medium ordered the chicken tenders, which I believe is Spanish for “long chicken nuggets.” We

My Kid's a Medical Marvel

2016-10-17T08:59:00.000-04:00

I read somewhere on the world wide internets that certain people are cut out to parent certain types of kids. I’ve always said I think I was meant to be a boy mommy. I just don’t think I was cut out to have girls. I love girls; I have nieces whom I adore. But for the day-to-day, I don’t see myself guiding a young girl into womanhood. Granted, I’ve never actually

Thinking about Keith Morrison.

2016-04-19T09:07:00.001-04:00

The intellectual bank of BoyMommy is overdrawn. Like many of you, I look at other women and think, “I don’t know how she gets it all done.” I have friends and neighbors who always seem to have their sh*t together, and I feel like I’m one microwave meal away from a room with padded walls. I’m busy. I’m the president of the elementary school PTA, I’m on the board of the

Snowzilla & the Self-Righteous Mom

2016-01-30T10:15:00.001-05:00

We had a little weather event here in Virginia this past week. It snowed. A lot. I dutifully made three trips to Target last week and stocked up on bread and milk. I considered buying new $50 Lego sets for each of my boys, but then I realized that that would only buy me a few hours of quiet time and then I’d have even MORE Legos in my house. Lots of people are

Teaching Integrity

2016-01-15T10:57:00.000-05:00

The quality I most admire about my father is his integrity. He’s just a good guy, and he always seems to do the right thing. I try to live a life of integrity, but sometimes it’s hard. I lose my patience. I clench my teeth. I think hateful thoughts about inadequate drivers. How do I teach my boys to be young men of integrity when the very definition is doing

I'm Winning Tuesday

2015-11-10T08:25:00.000-05:00

It’s 7:45 am and I’ve already had a better day than you. I woke up at 6:30 (even though I am NOT a morning person) so that I could get everyone ready for school. Apparently my children think I enjoy this process . . . that I like waking up before the sun to try to convince other little versions of myself that they should also get up before the sun. Before I could do that, however,

Meet Our Cow . . .

2015-06-10T17:00:00.000-04:00

I am so excited I can barely contain myself! We were dining at our local Chick-Fil-A the other night when the concierge asked if we would like to take a cow on vacation. Some thoughts going through my mind: A. Um, yes! B. I can’t believe you haven’t asked me sooner. C. Having a cow would make my neighbors love me even MORE than they do now! Introducing . . . Moo

Bleacher Police (with diagrams!)

2015-05-29T09:43:00.001-04:00

I don’t consider myself to be a confrontational person. I’m no shrinking violet, but I need everyone to like me and part of having people like me is . . . well . . . not making them mad at me. Sometimes I just can’t keep my yapper shut though. Our son, Large, plays on a travel baseball team that has many different age levels. Last weekend, Large’s team (11U) and

Wrong Number

2015-04-26T12:28:00.002-04:00

Yesterday morning, the phone rang. Normally I don't answer if it’s not a number I recognize. I figure the phone is here for my convenience, not theirs, so yes, I’m totes a screener. It was not a number I recognized, but it looked like it might be a cell phone in our area code, so I answered. “Hello?” I answered, all delightful and cheery, as usual. “Yes, I’m looking for

They're all Innocent. Until They're Not.

2015-04-24T15:18:00.001-04:00

The other night at Medium’s Little League game, another mom commented that Small was playing nicely with the other kids. Several of Medium’s teammates have younger siblings, so they often play together during the game. They play tag, hide-and-seek, cars, etc., and occasionally they check in to see if they can buy a treat at the concession stand. Supervising them ends up being a

What's Been on My Mind . . .

2015-04-17T09:27:00.000-04:00

A Seinfeldian rant: 1. The stripes on my bedspread should be horizontal instead of vertical. I need them to go up and down. When they are horizontal, I lie in bed and think about the fact that they’re not vertical. Think, think, think. I need them to be up and down so the tag is on the bottom right. 2. I can’t stand it when people use their cell phones

Scenes From a Happy Marriage

2015-02-22T17:36:00.002-05:00

Setting: master bath on a cold, snowy, winter Saturday morn Hubby (from shower, holding shower drain filled with long, luxurious brown[ish] hair and soap scum residue): Yech! Do you ever clean this out? Me (standing in front of mirror, brushing my long, luxurious, brown[ish] hair) Ew. No. That's gross. Hubby (incredulously)

Our Nightly Ritual: The Fight

2015-02-03T11:55:00.002-05:00

I keep watching Downton Abbey and thinking how nice it must be to sit in a window and read a book, or take a leisurely walk out in the field, or make time for tea with my family every day. But that’s not the world we live in. Yesterday was one of those days when I felt like I didn’t stop moving all day. After I got all three kids out the door - which includes a bus pick-up,

10 Ways I'm Failing at Motherhood. This Week.

2014-09-10T15:51:00.001-04:00

Here are 10 ways I'm failing at this whole motherhood thing this week. This list is not to be confused with how I failed at it last week, or with how I will undoubtedly fail at it next week. 1. One of the neighbor kids walked in on me watching Naked and Afraid with my 11-year-old. If you’ve never seen it, it’s a pretty innocuous, Survivor-type show on the

My 21st Birthday vs. my 41st Birthday: a Detailed Analysis. With Photos

2014-09-05T10:35:00.000-04:00

So yesterday was my birthday. I’m 41-derful. Kind of a letdown after all the festivities of my 40th birthday. For instance, I have 527 “friends” on Facebook, and yet I received ONLY 113 birthday wishes yesterday. The other 414 of you are dead to me. I’ve always loved my birthday, as anyone who knows me will attest. I do my friends the courtesy of

If Facebook Posts were REAL.

2014-07-31T13:00:00.000-04:00

Hubby and I were chatting last night about the plethora of happy family summer photos that are making their way onto Facebook. Sure, I could post photos of my smiling children, frolicking at the pool with their dad (on that one random evening he got home before dark and was able to join us.) Or a photo of them playing ball in the backyard (before Medium had a full-on temper tantrum,

Our Romantic Getaway! (During a Hurricane.)

2014-07-21T22:52:00.000-04:00

A few weeks ago, Hubby and I had escaped for a few days by ourselves to celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary. We know plenty of people who are able to “sneak away” every now and then in order to recharge their marriages, and even some who are able to have regular date nights. We do not have that luxury, however, so planning a getaway in which we would leave our children for a few

J. Crew, You Disappoint Me

2014-07-12T11:36:00.003-04:00

C’mon. You knew I’d have something to say about J. Crew, right? The other day I was flipping through facebook when I noticed someone had posted that J. Crew is introducing a size 000 to their line of clothing. This “news” is bad enough, but what really bugged me were the follow-up posts. I expected some backlash about how making clothes smaller and smaller just

Things I'd Rather Do Than Take All 3 Kids Grocery Shopping

2014-05-29T11:15:00.000-04:00

Small finished up preschool last week, which means the summer is fast approaching and the boys will be with me all the time. All. The. Time. I will no longer have that brief block of time in which to run tedious errands by myself. You know what makes them even tediouser? Taking everyone with me. Even yesterday, I had to purchase TWO

"Vacation." The Quotation Marks Indicate Sarcasm.

2014-04-24T08:38:00.000-04:00

The summer months will soon be upon us, (if Mother Nature ever decides to make up her friggin' mind) and that means the kids will be home for summer “vacation.” I use the term “vacation” lightly, because, as most parents know, a vacation for the kids does NOT constitute a vacation for the grown-ups. In fact, I think the last time I had a true vacation was on our honeymoon in 1999.&

Workin' for the Weekend

2014-03-26T10:53:00.000-04:00

Hubby just returned from a seven day business trip to India. Since I am the primary caretaker here at home (the CEO of the BoyMommy Household, if you will . . . ) things aren't THAT different when he's gone, but knowing he's on the other side of the world and that I will not have reinforcements is a bit disconcerting. Again, I give a humble shout-out to single moms and

Ugh. I'm going back to bed.

2014-03-08T09:40:00.001-05:00

The Needy McNeedersons are at it again. Within the first half hour of being awake this morning: I'm hungry. Help me put these in the bag. Have you seen my wallet? Where's my cell project? Who drank all these beers? Can you put the straw in my juice box? I can't get the tv to work! I need you to update this baseball roster. Remember? From the Lego Movie? Can you read me a

The Value of the Dollar

2014-02-05T11:42:00.000-05:00

Medium broke my computer. Lucky for him, I've done some research, and I think it's going to be a quick fix. (For the sake of his survival, I certainly hope so since his daddy is reading about it here for the first time.) It still works, just not to its full capacity. I don't think Medium understands the value of a dollar. He certainly doesn't understand the value

Diary of a Wimpy Mom

2014-02-04T07:53:00.000-05:00

Large is headed to his tour of the middle school today. I’m not ready. It makes my stomach hurt to think of my baby going to middle school . . . partly because I want him to remain my little boy, and partly because I remember what a freak show middle school was. I was so awkward. My jeans were always too short because I was growing faster than my mom wanted to go jeans

It's Not Crazy if You're a Mommy

2014-01-20T11:00:00.003-05:00