Boys, Beauty & Beyond

3 Lessons from Rihanna's Music Video "Man Down"

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 08 Jun 2011 02:10:00 +0000

Rumb bumb bumb bumb rump bumb bumb bum, Man Down.

I've been hearing the negative reaction to Rihanna's "Man Down" video, so I decided to check it out.

After watching the video, I could see what the hype is about. Although I don't agree that the video is negative, I do think that we can learn something from it.

With that being said, in the video, Rihanna was sending some slightly sexual signals to the guy at the party. Obviously the guy was drunk and horny.

While there is NO excuse and I stress NO excuse for rape, we as women can make a few smarter decisions to help protect ourselves.

A Couple of My Rules For Us Girls Include:

Never go or leave alone. Especially leaving. Never leave, walk to your car, go to the bathroom, etc alone. Take atleast one friend. Most of the time, me and all my girls go together. Either way, take one of your girlfriends with you wherever you go.
Be careful when dancing with/"grinding on" a guy. Some guys take that as an open invitation for sex. Drunk or sober, be careful. When people are drunk, they let go of their inhibitions and sometimes don't take no for an answer. Watch out for a guy who's too touchy-feely or even stares too much.
Always let someone know where you are. Parent, friend not attending the party, whoever. Someone who you can say ill call you or text you when I get home. If someone knows where you are and around what time you'll typically be home, than if you're missing or forgetful, they'll remember and check in.

So although Man Down shows a topic many don't want to publicize, we as young women can learn from it.

Be safe, Be smart, Be strong.

Resources:

Here's Rihanna's Official Video:

What other rules do you have when you go out?

How do you feel about the video?

Mindset is Everything...Are you stuck?

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 13 Apr 2011 02:54:00 +0000

Nothing is so constant as change. But if something's always changing, shouldn't we be constantly growing, achieving, and moving?

A lot of people are stuck. Stuck in the same mindset that they were years ago. The only thing that has changed, is their age.

Its pretty sad. As people, we need to continue to expand our minds. If we don't, we will keep complaining about the downs of life because they are the only things that are different from our day to day. They get stuck in a routine and once something is unusual or unfamiliar, they don't know what to do but try to get things back to "normal."

We can't stay stuck. How can we keep saying that we're moving forward, when the only things moving forward are the days, months, and years?

"An object that is at rest will stay at rest unless an unbalanced force acts upon it."-Isaac Newton

Tips to Get Going

We all have days when we don't feel like doing anything. That's fine. Everyone needs a break. So take one! Schedule some alone time or break time.
Try to do something to better yourself for about 15 minutes a day. Read a book, turn on the news, get some fresh air, write in a journal, etc. There are many things you can do to get you doing something.
Keep learning. Keep expanding your mind. Once your mind goes to sleep, your ambitions and goals will soon follow.
Find out something that you like to do. Don't just do it to do something.

How do you reach your goals? What motivates you?

Does Facebook Really Kill Relationships?

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 08 Apr 2011 19:00:00 +0000

A lot of people believe that Facebook kills relationships. I don't. I honestly don't think that it does.

The main excuse I hear when it comes to Facebook and Relationships is:

"My partner is spying on me on my Facebook page."

First off, when you put something online, you are signing off your rights to privacy. A comment, picture, status whatever is ALWAYS saved online. Always. Even if you delete it. Even if you call Mark Zuckerberg himself and he deletes a status for you, once its out there its out there. (Think twice about what you post)

Secondly, everyone looks at their significant other's page. Get over it. If you let strangers look at your page, why have a problem when your significant other looks?

Now ask yourself, are they looking or snooping? That's where the problem lays.

For the Snooper:

When it comes to looking at your partners page, the one thing you need to remember is: If you go looking for something, your going to find it. Even if there's nothing there, you'll always find something.
Now, that's not to say don't look at your partners page. Look, go right ahead. But don't go looking for what they're doing wrong.
Everyone has a split second thought, but let it be just that. A SPLIT second THOUGHT.

For the Snoopie:

Know your limit. If your partner constantly snoops and brings up all your conversations, ask yourself if you can continue to deal with that.
Take a look at your page. Are people being inappropriate? Are you saying inappropriate things?
Did you do something to make them lose trust in you?

So what's the real reason people break up and blame Facebook? I have a theory.

There are two reasons people snoop:

Because they've been betrayed before
Out of guilt

Everybody has been hurt before. Whether they want to admit it or not, everybody has. The key is how to deal with it.

The second reason is that basically, they're snooping because they feel guilty. The guilt can be small or large.

They could be cheating, thinking about cheating, or doing something that is borderline cheating. i.e.excessive flirting

A Tip for dealing with Facebook and Relationships:
Whether your snooping because you've been hurt before or your just damn nosey, don't go to the page with an intent. What's the saying again? When you go looking for something, you will find it.

A Psychological Study shows that Facebook reinforces relationship jealousy. Check out what they have to say.

Do you have any tips for dealing with Facebook and Relationships?

Fake It Til You Make It!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 07 Apr 2011 03:22:00 +0000

We've all heard the saying but what does it really mean?

As women, we always fake something. We fake love, fake feelings, fake power, money, status; a lot of things. But is that all bad? I mean can we possibly use this in a good way?

Faking Love:
Faking love can be one of the easiest things to do. Just pretend that you love yourself. It's that simple.
Do we always love ourselves? No. But can we always fake it? Yes.

How though Stacy? How can I fake love? Easy.

When you walk, hold your head up.
When you look in the mirror, don't see the flaw, see what makes you different. (After all, who wants to 'pretend' to be someone else).
When you see a cute guy, go talk to him!
When you talk about your self, don't down yourself. Boast a little chica!

Soon you'll start believing how great you are. Once it becomes a habit, it will become a mind set.

When you fake the love, the 'fake' happy feelings won't become so fake anymore. When you actually feel happy, you'll want to chase your dreams and the money, power and status won't be so fake.

If you feel like you are wrong for faking your confidence, DON'T! Everybody fakes something.

How many guys do you know that fake what they have? About how much money, shoes, girls, etc? But they're using it to pull themselves above other people.(Not what you want to do)

Tips to Faking it Right:

Don't ever try to put yourself above other people. You are your own person. Fake your confidence to prove it to yourself, not other people.
Be humble!
Don't compare yourself to others. It counteracts this process and will make you feel even worse.
Don't try to be like someone else. Yes, I love Keri Hilson's hair and style, but I'm going to be me. I might show my stylist a picture of her hair but I won't be going blonde and I ALWAYS have my stylist put their own spin on it.
Just be you! If your shy, don't be flamboyant, Be Confident. If you love to laugh, don't be serious, Be Confident. If your quiet, don't be NeNe, Be Confident.

So if you feel like you can't fake it, believe it. No other option.
It will take time for you to feel your confidence but that doesn't mean it won't come. You will eventually feel great and realize that you are great.

Remember: The only person that can make you truly happy is yourself. Period. End of story.

So LOVE THYSELF!

Need personalized advice? Get in touch with me! Anonymously or Openly.