BoysRising by Janet Autherine

Car Therapy

noreply@blogger.com (Janet Autherine) — Mon, 18 Mar 2013 01:28:00 +0000

I was driving to work this week singing, "I'm walking on sunshine" louder than anyone has a right to sing and it dawned on me that I have spent some of my happiest moments in my car. Most mornings, I drop the kids off, exhale and turn the radio to my favorite station. My commute provides precious alone time with just me and whoever or whatever I want to invite in; usually I extend the invitation to music. My mood that day determines which songs I play. With the kids off to school, I can now listen to that cool song with a few bad words (Welcome to JamRock) that I can't let the kids hear, yell at the talk show host who is "talking crazy" and cry when I hear a sad country song (Blake Shelton's Baby), Martina McBride's (I'm gonna love you through it) or almost any song by Shirley Caesar (No Charge) because her voice reaches in and grabs your heart. I sing loudly. I play Micheal Jackson's Off the Wall and dance until the person in the lane next to me starts staring at me and then I smile and wave at them. I relax. I breathe. I make quick fixes to my hair and makeup (yep, I am one of those people). I give myself pep talks about life (Janet, you woke up so it is already a wonderful day, just claim your joy today). I say the same commuter prayer in the car every day.

Father, thank you for waking me up this morning and starting me on my way.

Please keep the entire family safe and accident free.

Fill our hearts with love, joy and happiness (If it has been a rough morning, I throw in peace).

I say a special prayer for anyone who needs you today but does not know you or is unable to pray; please bring them comfort and meet the needs of their heart.

Thanks for your love and your blessings.

In Jesus, name. Amen.

When you have 3 active boys "safety and free of accidents" is a huge deal.

I sometimes turn the music down and call someone that I love. I reserve my "car calls" for the people who make me happy because who wants to speak with a downer when you are on the road. I plan my day, try to map out my life, think about dreams that I am still afraid to say out aloud, yell at people that I don't have the courage to yell at in person but mostly I do what I love - sing and car dance. By the time I get to my destination, I have laughed, cried, sang or danced my worries away; well most of the time.

If you don't think that you have time for yourself, consider the time that you spend in your car. Focus on the road ahead, drown out all negative energy, ignore all the crazy drivers and just be your craziest, wildest, funniest, most authentic self.

Are Your Daily Activities Aligned With Your Core Values?

noreply@blogger.com (Janet Autherine) — Mon, 04 Mar 2013 03:20:00 +0000

Are your daily activities aligned with your core values? When the answer is no, it creates both physical and emotional imbalance. It is fine to be busy if you are busy doing the right things but it is a shame to spend all your time on a treadmill that is going nowhere.

A few weeks ago, my Whole Health doctor told me that I was leading a stress-filled life and that stress was contributing to my thyroid imbalance. In response, I started a eight week boot camp class, added helpful supplements, such as Vitamin B-12, Hemp seeds, Chia seeds,and Maca powder to my diet and also cut back on my interactions with people who are a source of negative energy. Life coaches often recommend journaling as a way to reduce stress and reconnect to your inner self and it is great advice, however I have never been able to journal for more than a few weeks at a time so I was happy to discover a shortcut. As I was completing "happiness" exercises on one of my favorite websites (www.happify.com), I was asked to write down my core beliefs and values. At first I groaned at the thought but started writing anyway. I was surprised to find that some of the things that I valued last year have changed based on all my life experiences over the past year, including the passing of my father. Below is a random list of thoughts/beliefs that shape my day.

Don't be judgmental. Be kind and understanding regarding the road that others have traveled and the path that they have chosen for their lives.
Shower God, family, friends, and neighbors with love.
Pray everyday and always give thanks for my blessings.
Contribute to the life of a child that is not my own.
Nourish my mind, body and soul and continue to be open to new truths.
My body is the temple of God and it is to be treated with the highest regard.
Eat real food. We are what we eat.
Material things = fleeting happiness. If someone loves something that you own, give it away with a smile.
Don't be afraid to feel every emotion (laughter, sadness, tears, joy, pain). Feel it but don't dwell on it and don't hide it with substances, legal or illegal.
The power of the Bible lies with those who read it; if I don't love myself and my neighbor everyday then it is just a book with good stories.
I am an introvert but not a loner. Strong relationships and strong friendships mean everything to me.
We are our brother's keeper; don't miss a chance to help someone in need.
Take a moment everyday through prayer or meditation to listen to what is in your heart.
Listen more than you speak and give more than you receive.
Exercise every week. Sometimes that means exercising your facial muscles by smiling at everyone that you meet and exercising your arms by giving everyone a hug.

What I learned from this exercise is that in order to better align my beliefs to my daily life, I need to become more connected to my local community.

Take a few minutes to jot down your core beliefs, your goals and a few things that you value. Keep a journal for one week and document everything that you do. Are your daily activities aligned with your goals and your core beliefs? What can you eliminate to make room for inspiration and growth? What can you incorporate in your life to increase your peace, general well-being and your impact on society?

Share your list so that we can inspire, support and encourage each other.

Honor the victim of the Newtown Elementary School tragedy by remembering their names

noreply@blogger.com (Janet Autherine) — Sun, 16 Dec 2012 12:06:00 +0000

Below are the names of the victims of the elementary school shooting in Newtown, CT. We are all grieving and searching for a way to honor them. We can do so by praying for their families, the Newtown community and for the safety of all our children. We can also help by ALWAYS remembering these innocent angels. Please select a name to remember and always carry in your heart.

The names and birth dates of the victims:

Charlotte Bacon (2/22/06), 6 years old, female

Daniel Barden (9/25/05), 7 years old, male

Rachel Davino (7/17/83), Staff member, 29 years old, female

Olivia Engel (7/18/06), 6 years old, female

Josephine Gay (12/11/05), 7 years old, female

Ana M. Marquez-Greene (4/4/06), 6 years old, female

Dylan Hockley (3/8/06), 6 years old, male

Dawn Hochsprung (6/28/65), Principal, 47 years old, female

Madeleine F. Hsu (7/10/06), 6 years old, female

Catherine V. Hubbard (6/8/06), 6 years old, female

Chase Kowalski (10/31/05), 7 years old, male

Nancy Lanza, 52 years old, female (mother of shooter Adam Lanza)

Jesse Lewis (6/30/06), 6 years old, male

James Mattioli (03/22/06), 6 years old, male

Grace McDonnell (11/4/05), 7 years old, female

Anne Marie Murphy (7/25/60), Staff member, 52 years old, female

Emilie Parker (05/12/06), 6 years old, female

Jack Pinto (05/05/06), 6 years old, male

Noah Pozner (11/20/06), 6 years old, male

Caroline Previdi (9/07/06), 6 years old, female

Jessica Rekos (5/10/06), 6 years old, female

Avielle Richman (11/17/06) 6 years old, female

Lauren Rousseau (June 1982), Staff member, 30 years old, female

Mary Sherlach (2/11/56), Staff member, 56 years old, female

Victoria Soto (11/04/85), Staff member, 27 years old, female

Benjamin Wheeler (09/12/06), 6 years old, male

Allison N. Wyatt (07/03/06), 6 years old, female

Please pass the names of these angels on to others for prayer and remembrance. God bless these angels and their families.

Newtown Elementary School Tragedy: When Will There Be A Safe Place For Our Children

noreply@blogger.com (Janet Autherine) — Sat, 15 Dec 2012 13:42:00 +0000

I'm searching my mind for an appropriate prayer but there is none. Our bodies are fragile and sometimes our minds are fragile. It is hard to confidentially move forward following this elementary school tragedy in Newtown, Connecticut that claimed so many lives. My heart is heavy and there is a sinking feeling in my stomach. It feels like there is no safe place for our children.

Last night my son was crying because the spaghetti on his plate was touching the peas so he didn't want to eat it. Normally, this would prompt a stern warning to stop being silly and just eat but I just hugged him. It reminded me that these beautiful children who died were young and innocent with no real worries; they just wanted to learn and play and be loved. They want to exist in a safe space. Every child should be guaranteed these very basic wishes. Our hearts are mourning for these innocent children, their teachers and their parents. Please share your thoughts and prayers.

Poem: My Heaven

noreply@blogger.com (Janet Autherine) — Sun, 14 Oct 2012 17:35:00 +0000

My Heaven

by Janet Autherine

I believe in heaven but

If this life ends and there is no mansion in the sky and

I just return to the dirt when whence I came,

I want ashes to ashes, dust to dust to be a song of joy and revival.

In this life

My heart gave more love than it could contain

My soul was a conduit for spiritual and physical love and harmony

My mind expanded beyond the text books to the endless possibilities of the universe

My hands reached out indiscriminately to help family, friends and strangers

My body was a vessel to be treasured but not an obsession

My feet were never too tired to dance or run the last mile.

You see, I have always been in my heaven but now I am one with the earth again.

Grass happily grows on me without the need for fertilizers

Roses and hibiscus plants flourish and bloom beautiful flowers in my soil

Organic vegetables thrive as nature intended and nourish the world

Happy couples sit on a bench over me and feel the love that I carried inside of me

The elderly are comforted even knowing that they may be joining me soon

My loved ones rub me between the palm of their hands and find peace.

A well-lived life on earth is the beginning of my heaven.

©Janet Autherine but please feel free to share with attribution.

A Virtuous Woman and Mother

noreply@blogger.com (Janet Autherine) — Wed, 26 Sep 2012 03:46:00 +0000

This past Sunday, I read Proverbs 31 in its entirety for the first time in many years. Although some of it would be considered "dated", it is a beautiful piece that reads like a song. Below are the words that inspire me the most.

"Who can find a virtuous and capable woman?

She is more precious than rubies.

She is energetic and strong, a hard worker.

She makes sure her dealings are profitable; her lamp burns late into the night.

She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy.

She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.

When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness.

She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness.

Her children stand and bless her.

There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!

Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.

Reward her for all she has done.

Let her deeds publicly declare her praise." Proverbs 31: Excepts from the New Living Translation.

This describes many of the women and mothers that I know. They are strong, hardworking and always ready to extend a helping hand to her family, a friend or a stranger. There is rarely any public reward; the reward is in a child's smile, a hug from a grateful stranger or the silent whisper of "well done" that God places in our hearts. You may not feel strong or wise or even kind every day. You may even want to flee from the term, virtuous but on your best day, you are all the above and so much more. Claim it for yourself and one day you may be surprised to receive a very sincere, "You are the best mom, ever!" compliment from the child who you think is not fully engaged.

Is there a bible verse, a poem or a song that inspires you as a woman or a mother? Please share it with us.

40s - Time of Self-discovery and Self-realization

noreply@blogger.com (Janet Autherine) — Sat, 08 Sep 2012 16:16:00 +0000

A few months ago, I told my mother that I had taken an action based on her advice. I actually thought that it would make her happy to hear that I still listen to her and respect her advice. I was surprised to hear her say, "You are a grown woman now; you make your own decisions!" What? When did that happen?

In your 40s, your life rests squarely on your own shoulders. The time to blame others for your problems or your parents for a less than ideal childhood is long gone. Friends have their own challenges and don't have time for the long heart to heart talks that we use to have in our 30s.

I will be honest, the past year has been challenging. My father and my beloved cat Rudy passed away. I went through the stress of negotiating the purchase of a new house and moving. My family was in a pretty scary car accident that totaled my car and then I made an impulse purchase of a new car that wasn't the right fit for our family. I was blindsided by major family drama. Finally, like many Americans, we are going through the stress of a job loss. The years when I was just juggling work with raising three active boys now seemed pretty easy. But isn't that what life in your 40s is about? It is a time of great joys and great disappointments and everything that we have learned in the past 40 years is tested.

I now see the 40s as a time of reflection, self-discovery and self-realization. Here are a few things that I have learned over the past birthday year.

What I know for sure is that I do not know anything for sure but based on my life experiences, I do have confidence in a few things. I am confident that there is a God and that love can solve almost every problem that we face.
We have to understand the past to make sense of our present. Trace your roots and speak to your elders about their experiences.
I am optimistic about life and sometimes my head is in the clouds. I can live with that; it is pretty up there.
You might as well embrace your parents because we either marry a version of our parents or we become them as we get older.
Death is final; only our memories remain, so make good memories.
When someone that you love dies, you only remember the good times. Try to focus on their good qualities when they are alive.
Behind anger and hate is pain and fear. Keep that in mind when you are angry at someone or someone is angry at you. Try to dig deeper.
Not everyone will agree with you; that does not mean that they are wrong. You may be dealing with someone whose reality is just very different from yours.
If you lose your way in love, stop, breathe, center yourself and take direction from your heart.
Create your own family with the people who consistently show you love through words and deeds.
It is possible to feel both love and pain in places within you that you didn't even know existed.
We were perfectly made by a wonderful God. We all have a purpose. Our natural tendency is to love; every negative energy is unnatural and will eat away at our soul if we don't let go of it.
When you are feeling down, see your way out by helping or inspiring someone else.

Every day is another opportunity to learn and grow. We have a wealth of knowledge and we are blessed with a healthy range of emotions, however, we are just raindrops in the sea of life. Embrace the joys and the disappointments; there is so much more to discover. I step into 43, somewhat nervously. I am hoping for a smooth ride this year but whatever happens, I am ready to own it and learn all that I can from the experiences that life brings.

Back to School Prayer and Blessing for our Children

noreply@blogger.com (Janet Autherine) — Tue, 21 Aug 2012 04:33:00 +0000

I walked my kindergartner to his class a week ago and handed him off to a lovely stranger. He has always been my "hip" baby so I thought that he would cry. He did not. He gave me a long hug and settled in his tiny chair. I pressed my nose against the window and watched him for a few minutes and then left him in the hands of his teacher and God.

As parents, we can all relate to separation anxiety. We wonder if we prepared them enough to face the challenges of the world and whether they will remember all the lessons that we thought them over the summer. I was comforted by a recent sermon of Dr. Sharon Carnahan, titled, "What is in your backpack?" As we send our children off to school, she suggests that we place a few reminders in their backpacks. (1) Place a copy of the Bible in their backpacks or download it to their phone or iPad. (2) Remind them that they are a child of God. (3) Remind them that God wipes their slate clean every day and every day they can choose to be a better person. (4) Remind them to be kind to and to interact with kids who seem different or have a disability. (5) Remind them to take a stand when someone is not being treated kindly.

My advice to my five year old was simple; smile, be nice and make a friend.

Dr. Carnahan also shared this lovely, thought-provoking prayer by Ina Hughes, titled, "A Prayer for Children."

We Pray for Children - who sneak popsicles before supper,
who erase holes in math workbooks,
who can never find their shoes.

And we pray for those
who don't bound down the street in a new pair of sneakers,
who are born in places where we wouldn't be caught dead,
who never go to the circus,
who live in an X-rated world.

We pray for children
who bring us sticky kisses and fistfuls of dandelions,
who hug us in a hurry and forget their lunch money.

And we pray for those
who never get dessert,
who have no safe blanket to drag behind them,
who watch their parents watch them die,
who can't find any bread to steal,
who don't have any rooms to clean up,
whose pictures aren't on anybody's dresser,
whose monsters are real.

We pray for children
who spend all their allowance before Tuesday,
who throw tantrums in the grocery store and pick at their food,
who like ghost stories,
who shove dirty clothes under the bed,
who never rinse out the tub,
who get visits from the tooth fairy,
who don't like to be kissed in front of the carpool,
who squirm in church and scream in the phone,
whose tears we sometimes laugh at and
whose smiles can make us cry.

And we pray for those
whose nightmares come in the daytime,
who will eat anything,
who have never seen a dentist,
who aren't spoiled by anybody,
who go to bed hungry and cry themselves to sleep,
who live and move, but have no being.

We pray for children
who want to be carried and for those who must,
for those who we never give up on and
for those who don't get a second chance.
For those we smother with affection and
for those who will grab the hand of anybody kind enough to offer it.

Blessings to you and your children on the first day of school and every day. Squeeze them tight and then let them go so that they can soar. Celebrate the kids that they are today and who they will become tomorrow. Remind them to smile.

The Burden of Laundry Inspires a Return to the Simple Life

noreply@blogger.com (Janet Autherine) — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 03:58:00 +0000

There is something about laundry that puts everything about life into perspective. After spending a few hours doing six loads of laundry for my three boys, I started to reminisce about my own childhood growing up in Jamaica. All my clothes could fit in one drawer. I had two shoes - the first was my school shoes and the second was my "good" shoes. I wore the good shoes to special occasions, such as weddings, funerals and other special events.

The same was true for clothes. There were quite a few dresses that were not worn because they were being saved for a special occasion that did not come. Sometimes, shoes were saved for a special occasion only to find that it no longer fit my growing feet. I was not alone; most kids in my community were having the same experience. We knew that we didn't have it all but we were grateful for the few things that we could call our own.

How did we handle laundry? Well, that one, maybe two school uniform was hand-washed and pressed a few times per week and I went off to school looking clean, neat and wealthy in spirit. Conventional wisdom tells us that more material things result in happier kids and a easier life for parents. If the kids have a different outfit everyday, then the parents will only have to do laundry once per week. If the kids have more toys, they will be happier. Well, my kids are blessed with a room filled with toys and they ignore most of them and concentrate on one or two.

The kids return to school in August so August is a great time to return to the simple life. All the toys that have not been played with over a two week period will be given to charity. If they only play with a few toys, why not give another child the opportunity to play with the rest. Recently, I have attended a few birthday parties where the kids (likely with the nudging of the parents) asked for a donation to their favorite charity or supplies for a charity such as the Ronald McDonald House. I have mixed feeling about this so I usually bring supplies for the charity and a small gift for the child. However, I do believe that this is a step in the right direction.

As for clothes, I am seriously considering giving away all but eight days worth of clothes. We probably do not need more clothes that what we would take on a week's vacation. Frankly, I don't know if this will make the kids any happier but it will definitely make this mommy's life simpler.

Letting Go Of Fear And Living A Purposeful Life

noreply@blogger.com (Janet Autherine) — Thu, 28 Jun 2012 12:02:00 +0000

I don't enjoy flying. Yes, it gets me to my destination quicker than driving, it is safer than driving and the sky is absolutely beautiful. I don't like flying because I feel powerless. I have just turned my destiny over to a group of strangers. I don't have control of the wheel like I would in a car and when there is severe turbulence, all I can do is sit helplessly and suffer through it.

Florida has been hit with with heavy rains due to Tropical Storm Debby and there are large puddles of water on every street. However, I am a great driver and I am behind the wheels of a solid car. I am in control. Imagine my surprise when I drove through a puddle of water and my car hydroplaned into the left lane. I felt like I was on a water slide at Disney. I had absolutely no control and just had to let it run its course and then steer back into my lane. I slowed down and it happened again. Even though I hydroplaned into oncoming traffic, thankfully there were no cars in the left lane.

There is a lesson in every incident, big or small, good or bad, that happens in our lives. Sometimes we discover the lesson right away and sometimes it takes weeks or months. Here are a few that I have pondered on over the past week.

We have freewill and some control over our lives but God has ultimate control.
Don't hydroplane through life; be purposeful about what you say and do.
We are fragile beings. We are strong in mind, heart and soul but all are housed in a fragile shell.
Say your goodbyes every day, not just in words but by showing love and kindness to those around you.
If you are going down the wrong road in life, it is not too late to change course.
Rational people can have irrational fears. Just let go of your fears and let your mind soar.
Every day bad things happen to good people. We may get a reprieve but we are not immune.
Don't get distracted by the small things, focus on the things that are meaningful to you.
Life is not about how long you live; it is about what you do with the dash in between life and death.
Love yourself. Love your neighbor. It all starts and ends with love.

I am letting go of my fear of flying. I am controlling the things that I can and leaving the rest to God. What I know for sure is that if I live a purposeful life and focus on the things and the people that are important to me, my life, short or long, will be well-lived.

The Mother's Day Gift Only You Can Give - Inner Peace, Kindness & Charity

noreply@blogger.com (Janet Autherine) — Sat, 12 May 2012 04:01:00 +0000

A mother = a GOOD mother, at least 90% of the time. Believe it! A bad mother generally means abuse, neglect and systematic unkindness. If this does not describe you, then breathe a sigh of relief, take yourself off the hook for all the parental guilt that you have been carrying and that society has placed on your shoulder and just go back to being the loving mom that you. How many times have you felt insecure about your parenting skills because you missed a program a school, brought store bought, instead of home made cookies to a school function, forgot that it was pajama day at school so your child is the only kid wearing regular clothes, gave you child a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for dinner or have your toddler sleep in the bed with you? We can all spend hours trading stories.

Yes, mistakes will be made in parenting but in most cases the kids will be alright. Ignore all the chatter about moms who work outside the home vs mom who work inside the home or bottle fed babies vs moms who nurse until the chid is six or moms who send their kids to private vs public schools. This is often useless chatter that just keeps moms feeling needlessly inferior to other moms or with a false sense of superiority. This Mother's day, let us give ourselves the gift of inner peace regarding our parenting choices and offer kindness, not judgment to other mothers who may be struggling or who have made choices that we wouldn't necessarily make.

This post was inspired by one of my favorite bloggers. Kristen wrote writes at Rage Against the Minivan, wrote a wonderful blog entitled, Where is the Mommy - War for the Motherless Child? Please read her post and pass it on to other mothers who are tired of the "mommy wars." There are so many children in need and so much that we can do to help.

http://www.rageagainsttheminivan.com/2012/05/where-is-mommy-war-for-motherless-child.html

As Mother's Day approaches, let us change the conversation. Let us support each other in raising healthy, happy, loving, kind children. Our plates are full, but if we have the time to criticize the choices of other moms and hand-wring about our own choices, then we have the time to lend a helping hand to a child in need.

Although I am not able to adopt at this point (I hope to do so later), I support children in need through Women to Women International and Compassion International. Take a few minutes to surf the web for a reputable local or international organization that could benefit from the awesome mommy that you already are. Mother's Day is still a few days away but if we practice claim our inner peace, it can come early for you, a mom who is struggling or even a child who may need someone to call Mom this Mother's day. For a child who needs you, you are a great mom today and everyday.

14 Years of Unconditional Love - My Beloved Pet Rudy

noreply@blogger.com (Janet Autherine) — Sun, 22 Apr 2012 17:37:00 +0000

On Sunday, April 15, 2012, my beloved Rudy passed away peacefully in my arms while I rubbed his head. He had an enlarged liver and spleen and had not been eating or drinking much for about 2 weeks. The veterinarian encouraged me to put him to sleep but he wasn't in obvious pain so I couldn't bring do it because if I was in his shoes, I wouldn't want to be assisted in my passage. On his last day, he was clearly struggling and I was distraught at the thought of his passage. As I was struggling with difficult thoughts about the sanctity of life, how one should transition to death, whether another ultrasound or an operation would help....all the thoughts one would have about a human being,
he indicated that it was his time to go and went peacefully. My father passed away a few months ago and the same life/death decisions had to be made. I'm glad that God and Rudy removed that cup from me and allowed Rudy to transition on his own terms.

I poured my love for Rudy in a blog post, entitled, For the Love of a Pissy Cat, about a year ago. We can experience God's love in many ways but the love received from a pet is probably the best way to experience God's unconditional love. Speaking of love, my wonderful husband, for the past 11 years, has been living with a cat that exacerbates his allergies. Thank you, my honey bunny! He found this wonderful prayer that we prayed to thank Rudy for his love and bless him on his new journey.

By Diana Macalintal, Saying Goodbye to a Dying Pet

In the name of God the Father,
who created you and all the animals,
in the name of Jesus the Son,
who spoke of you in parables and stories,
in the name of the Holy Spirit,
in whom every creature lives, moves, and has their being,
go now in peace, dear friend.

May you find rest near refreshing waters,
may you lie in cool, green pastures,
and may you warm yourself under the sun that never sets.

You have been my constant companion,
my shadow and confidante,
my comfort and playmate.
You filled my days with life and brought me endless joy.
For this I give thanks to God who gave you to me.

Now return to your Maker who eagerly waits for you
as you waited for me at the end of each day.

In the Father’s arms, let there be no more pain.
Let there be no more suffering.
Let there be only light as it was on the day God created you.

For our help is in the name of the Lord, who made heaven and earth.
Blessed be the name of the Lord, now and forever. Amen.

Rudy brought us great joy for over 14 years. He was a member of the family in every way that counts. We all gathered around him to pray and say our goodbyes. We planted some flowers in his honor and wished his soul a safe, peaceful and happy passage to its next station.

From Chrysalis to Butterfly - the Wonders of Nature

noreply@blogger.com (Janet Autherine) — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 12:18:00 +0000

The cycle of life is amazing! Just look at the awesome transformation of the Monarch butterfly.
Our Monarch butterfly in Chrysalis form.

The transformation.

Our beautiful butterfly.

Releasing the butterfly back to nature

This was a beautiful experience for us and the kids. Nothing compares to the wonders of nature!

Honoring Whitney Houston's Memory - The Greatest Love of All is Inside us to Live & to Give

noreply@blogger.com (Janet Autherine) — Sun, 19 Feb 2012 01:28:00 +0000

As I listened to the Whitney Houston "Home Going Service" today, I was struck by the wealth of love and support in the church. I wondered if she knew how much she was loved. I wondered how many attending the funeral called her on a regular basis to say, "I love you, I am thinking of you, I am praying for you or how can I help you. Sometimes, we just assume that our friends and family members will reach out for help if they need it. If a friend has a good job and a nice house, we assume that they have a great life. We measure happiness by beauty, money and fame.

The truth is that many of our family members and friends, who on the outside may seem to have it all, may be feeling lonely, insecure or hurt on the inside, and dealing with mental and physical circumstances that we don't know about. A recent report stated that the number of Americans using illegal drugs reached 22.6 million, or 8.9 percent of the population, in 2010, and more people now abuse Prescription drugs than illegal drugs. We may not have known Ms. Houston personally, but it is very likely that we have a friend, family member or co-worker within these numbers. We may not be able to bring about world peace or end world hunger, but we can be heroes in our own lives and in the lives of the ones that we love. Let us do more than just spend a few hours watching the funeral, shedding a few tears and then moving on without change. Here are a few things that we can do today.

Make time for the ones that you love. Call or visit, Facebook and Twitter updates are not enough; sometimes a friend needs to feel and experience the love.
When you say "how are you?", wait for an answer and then look the person in the eye, you may be surprised at what you hear.
Offer love and support and follow up with concrete action. Sometimes waiting for someone to ask for support just places an additional burden on someone who is already burdened by personal problems.
Let go of the stigma associated with mental illness by talking about it openly and giving others the freedom to discuss it openly with you.
Let go of the stigma associated with receiving counseling or other mental health treatment. Our mind is just as important as our body and if we can get a yearly physical for the body, there is nothing wrong with getting a yearly physical for the mind.
Find a positive crutch. A few years ago, someone told me the bible was a crutch. At some point in our lives, we all need a crutch to help us handle the stress of life but we need to choose wisely. Instead of drugs, alcohol or over-eating, we can choose exercise, meditation, a favorite bible verse, or counseling.
Ask yourself this question - If your friend or loved one died, would you find the time and money to attend their funeral? If so, you now have the time and money to visit them and lend a helping hand.
Honor your mind and your body by taking care of both. The greatest love of all is inside of us all, we just have to believe it and live it.

Rest in peace, Ms. Houston. It would be great to see this list grow to at least 100 positive ways to honor the life of Ms. Houston. Add your positive, non-judgmental suggestions to the list and pass it on.

25 Instructional Bible Verses for Children and Parents

noreply@blogger.com (Janet Autherine) — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 04:22:00 +0000

The Bible is a fantastic teacher! As good parents, whether we consider ourselves religious, spiritual or even a non-believer, we all have common values that we want to share with our children. The principles of love, obedience, patience, kindness, forgiveness and peace are all covered in beautiful poetic language. I get excited when I am in a stressful situation and the perfect bible verse comes to mind. Wouldn't it be great if our children could find that internal resource in good and bad times?

Here are a few of the verses that I learned as a child, which have sustained me into adulthood. Although children may pretend that they are not listening, they remember the words and values that we share with them. We can share them at bed-time, in the car on the way to school or just in daily casual conversation.

Lesson: Instruction/Obedience

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6
“My son, hear the instruction of your father, and do not forsake the law of your mother” Proverbs 1:8
Honour thy father and thy mother that thy days may be long upon the land which the lord thy God giveth thee.

Lesson: Character/Optimism

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Philippians 4:8
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.” Galatians 5:22-23

Lesson: Charity

Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over. Luke 6:38

Lesson: Faith/Optimism/Strength

Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. Matthew 7:7
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Phillippians 4:13.

Lesson: Faith/God's Plan

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11
“And whatever things you ask in prayer, believe, you will receive." Matthew 21:22
Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1

Lesson: God's promise/Love

For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38 - 39

Lesson: Character/Reverence

Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer. Psalm 19:14

Lesson: Protection

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Psalm 23:4
No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper. Isaiah 54:17

Lesson: Love

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. 1 Cor. 13: 4 - 13.
Jesus replied: ”Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself." Matthew 22:37-39

Lesson: Respect of person

“Do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you.” 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Lesson: Patience/Temperament

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. Ecclesiastes 3:1
“So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath." James 1:19-20

Lesson: Forgiveness

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Romans 3:23
Judge not that he not be judged. Matthew 7:1

Lesson: Honesty

Thou shall not bear false witness against thy neighbor.
Thou shall no steal.

Lesson: Peace

"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."John 14:27

I hope that you and your family find these passages of scripture helpful and that you add your own favorite passages in the comments below and in your daily discussions with your children.

Finding Your Happy Place During Stressful Times

noreply@blogger.com (Janet Autherine) — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 01:17:00 +0000

How do I handle stress? I eat my favorite comfort foods, which is a grill cheese sandwich and Cherry Garcia ice-cream. Who doesn't love a good grill cheese sandwich and although I am a 95% vegan, there is something very comforting about dairy. I also listen to my favorite music (gospel and reggae) while tackling a huge project, the more stress the bigger the project. This weekend, I was trying to handle my father's illness without having a major meltdown in front of the kids so I decided to renovate the kids's bathroom.
That is the kind of project that could occupy my mind for hours. I went the local hardware store and bought all the supplies and even removed a mirror. I came to my senses when I realized that restoring bathroom tile would really add to the stress. Above is the picture of the more appropriate project that I tackled. I found a cloth hammock for $10 in Ross, identified 2 trees in my backyard, viewed a video on Youtube on how to hang a hammock and after a few bumps in the road, I smelled the sweet scent of success.

Ice-cream, gospel music and a hammock won't bring long lasting peace and happiness (prayer, attitude of gratitude and focusing on others bring me long term peace) but it is good to know where to find temporary relief in stressful times.

Damn it, I am Alive and I am Happy!

noreply@blogger.com (Janet Autherine) — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 02:45:00 +0000

Tree of Life

Are you ready to be happy this year? Are you ready to truly embrace life? I made one resolution this year and it is to write the children's book that I have been resolving to write for the past 6 years. My happiness does not depend on this; if on December 31, 2012, I realize that I failed to get even 2 lines written, it would still have been a happy year. Happiness should come from just waking up in the morning and finding that we are alive for another day. We should wake up and yell, "I am alive and it is going to be a great day!" Our happiness has become so dependent on whether we accomplish our resolutions or check off all the things on our daily "to do list" that we are constantly waiting to be happy or to find someone or something that will make us happy.
When did this amazing gift of life become so underrated that we don't get excited about it any more. At times, we only get excited about life when someone we love passes on and we become aware of our own mortality.

Over the holidays, my father became gravely ill and slipped into a coma. The doctors were not sure if he would recover and if he did what type of life he would have. When I prayed, the details didn't matter, the gift of life was what would bring us all happiness. He is out of the coma but very fragile but he is breathing, so there is hope. As long as any of us is breathing, there is always hope that every mental, physical, familial or monetary challenge can be overcome.

This morning, I was speaking to an Aunt who reminded me of all the struggles that my grandmother faced raising 13 children in our small town in Jamaica. Happiness came from having the very basics - air, water, shelter and a small portion of food (sometimes less than a cup for each child) daily. Thankfully, most of us have everything that we need to be happy. This year, there will be no lofty resolutions to damper my happiness. So what if the extra weight isn't gone by March, the kids are not sleeping in their owns beds, the cat is still peeing on my sofa, the thyroid is still affecting my health, and by missing half of the "mommy and me" events at the kids school, it is confirmed that there is really no super in this mommy. I am still getting up every morning and claiming my happiness and so should you! While it is nice to make resolutions and envision a perfect life, it shouldn't lessen our appreciation for the greatest gift that we have been given. It is ok to wake up every morning and say, "Damn it or darn it :-), I am alive and I am happy!"

Happy New Year to all my wonderful friends who support this website! I wish you a spark of happiness every morning, good health in mind, body and spirit and all the basic necessities to live a full and happy life. Keep the "happy" in Happy NewYear today and everyday.

What Defines Your Family

noreply@blogger.com (Janet Autherine) — Sun, 18 Dec 2011 14:58:00 +0000

Focus on the Goal

Have you ever complained bitterly to your friends about being swamped and a few minutes later added something else to your schedule? A few weeks ago, my Saturdays consisted of two early morning soccer games, a piano lesson, and 2 birthday parties. Likewise, Sunday was church, brunch, a birthday party, and a visit to Disney. In addition, I still had to find time to cook, clean the house and get the boys ready for school. On a given Tuesday, we had soccer practice, a cub scout meeting, and a new parent event at my son's school. Even superwoman would be tired.
That is when I started thinking about the goals that I had for my family and whether I was scheduling my time to fulfill those goals. In theory, I wanted to be a Cub Scout family because I have fond memories of weekend camping trips when I was growing up. The reality is that I prefer to be indoors in a warm bed, things that go bump in the night scares me and the kids, the door to door sales that is necessary to earn the badges is not fun and when someone suggested a "turkey shoot" on the camping trip, I was a little horrified. I had to admit that our family is just not ready for the Cub Scouts and remove it and several other activities from our current schedule.

What defines your family? Are you the football family, the family where friends and strangers congregate, the family where life revolves around church, the family that lives to travel? How would your friends define your family? A definition or a slogan is helpful because few families that can do it all; most of us have to focus our efforts around a few important goals.

Determine what type of family you want to be.
Focus on what you really value.
Make everything else optional and opt out often. Just say NO, with a smile. Resist the urge to offer excuses or long explanations. Are you doing it with love in your heart? If no, then don't do it
Add the people, activities and events that are truly important to you to your monthly schedule and don't forget to schedule in FUN!
"Flip Flopping" is ok. Reassess your goals each year.

Once you realize that the things that define you as a family are getting done, life becomes so much easier and less stressful. It is challenging to come up with a good slogan but I was able to narrow down the things that we value. We value church, the arts, sports, education and family time and try to focus on events that falls into those categories. It is an easygoing, no pressure system. We aim for church at least three Sundays per month with the flexibility to sleep in late or take the kids to Disney on any given Sunday when we need a change in our routine. Although, my Sun child would like to take guitar lessons, right now we are a piano family - there is no running around to different lessons. We passed on basketball this winter because we spent the fall consumed with soccer and getting up early for 8am games. Taking a season off just felt healthy for the family. We play enough soccer and basketball in the backyard to keep the boys from getting rusty and in the spring, we will all be both mentally and physically ready for a spring sport. When the boys grow up and reflect on family life they will likely remember our movie nights. We have a movie night the first Friday of each month where we invite a few friends and an informal movie night almost every Friday evening where we usually order in and just relax with games and family-friendly movies. All of this is a work in progress for me and I am writing it down so that I can hold my own feet to the fire and just focus on the things that are important to the family.

Defining what is important and knowing that everything else is optional creates a sense of freedom. Squeezing in three kids birthday parties in one Saturday is just madness. If you can do it without stress or complaint, go for it; if not, just say no to two or all three, if necessary. The things that define you as a family are the things that the kids will treasure now and will remember when they are grown and raising their own kids.

The best slogan that I could come up with is "Fueled by Faith, Driven by a Love of the Arts, Sports and Education". Do you have a catchy slogan for your family? How do you focus on what is important?

A "Christmas" Letter

noreply@blogger.com (Janet Autherine) — Sat, 19 Nov 2011 04:52:00 +0000

Inhale. Exhale. How long did that take? Life does not give us 5 minutes to take a breath; it moves at a rapid pace and we have to keep up. I have been missing in action for the past 2 months. Sometimes life intervenes and although I love to write, I had to take a hiatus from writing to just experience this unpredictable life. Today, I couldn't even remember the password for this blog and I still can't remember the password for my Twitter account. I have learned over the years that I can do it all but not well and I can have it all but not in the same day or month or sometimes even years. Now that I am back, please forgive the absence and the "Christmas" update that I am about to write. Don't we all love those "life has been perfect" letters. Thankfully, this is not one of those.

In a nutshell, all three boys started new schools. We ventured into private school territory with my Sun child because we wanted him in a religious school. Even though I went to public schools in Jamaica, we prayed in school without the church/state conflict. Those prayerful gatherings were my favorite part of the day and I want the kids to have that experience. My son found a great school and I found a community. I am actually excited about soccer games, parent meetings, fall festivals and everything that comes with having a 1st grader.

In September, I went to Aruba to celebrate my friend's 40th birthday. Before the trip, there was the usual parental hand wringing regarding whether I could find the time, should the money be spent on something for the kids and would the kids be ok with mommy gone for 3 nights. Of course they would, right? It was an amazing three days of relaxing and bonding with wonderful women, most I didn't know before the trip but we left Aruba as friends. Let's face it, women are amazing! In three days, we shared fun and laughter, great stories, and better advice that I could get from any therapist. The trip was well worth the airplane ticket....until the phone call.

As I am packing to leave Aruba, a panicked voice on the phone said, "are you sitting down?" No, I am not sitting down and don't intend to, what the heck happened? Hubby was taking the kids to church and got into a car accident. Can't I leave for a few days without getting a reminder that I CAN'T leave for a few days? Isn't there something very wrong about getting into a car accident on the way to church? Thankfully, except for a few bruises, the family is fine. So the lesson is...no more Aruba or no more church :-).

So I will end with good news because every "Christmas" letter does. After 2 years of searching for a house, we found one and after promising the bank our 4th born, they gave us the money to buy it. We are officially Floridians! I won't even complain about the unpacking.

If you have been on your own hiatus and I have not heard from you, please chime in and let me know what rivers you have crossed in the past 2 months. I look forward to receiving your "Christmas" letter.

The Summer Camp Experience

noreply@blogger.com (Janet Autherine) — Mon, 05 Sep 2011 14:22:00 +0000

Now that summer is over and the boys are back in school, I can take a moment to reflect on summer camp. Since this was our first summer camp experience, I did weeks of research and settled on a camp at our local college. This would be the first time that Gian would be away, independent of a structured daycare program so we wanted to make sure that he would feel happy and protected. Actually, I am the one who really needed the extra boost of confidence.

I found that most summer camps were either highly specialized or just focused on play all summer. I was lucky to find a camp with a good mix of academics and fun; we didn't want him to lose all that he had learned over the summer months. His camp offered, tennis, swimming, art, building structures and reading. What a great mix for a kid! At the end of camp, he knew how to swim and he developed a love for tennis. He increased his appreciation for art and now we cannot get him to stop building airplanes and ships with his Legos.

The first day of camp Gian was nervous but he play with another new boy for 10 minutes and then announced to me that he wanted to be in the same classes as his "new friend". That was an amazing lesson to me. Wouldn't it be nice if we as adults could embrace and accept other so fully and quickly?

Summer camp prepared both Gian and I for the huge transition to 1st grade. He gained enough independence over the summer to know that he would be ok without me and I learned to walk away from him without crying...at least until I got to the car.

Welcome to First Grade! I Love Teachers!

noreply@blogger.com (Janet Autherine) — Sat, 06 Aug 2011 17:48:00 +0000

My sun child just received his first letter in the mail and it was from his new first grade teacher. It said, "some of the fun things we will be learning about can be found in the poem below...

Friendship
Indigenous Florida Natives
Rabbit Play
Stories, Songs and Scripture
Treasures of the Ocean

Great Adventures
Reading, Writing and Arithmetic
Animals of Florida
Detectives
Explorers

I can't wait to meet you!" How awesome! He was thrilled and now first grade is a little less scary. I love teachers!!!

My First Blog Award!

noreply@blogger.com (Janet Autherine) — Sat, 09 Jul 2011 13:48:00 +0000

My blog BoysRising received its first blog award! It has taken me a few weeks to respond but it is never too late to say Thanks! Thank you to Karen Pokras Toz for recognizing BoysRising. Sometimes, as a writer, you wonder if anyone is reading, so it is nice to know that someone not only reads but enjoys the content. Please check out Karen's blog at Karen Pokras Toz, especially her weekly summaries. Karen suggests sharing 7 things about myself, so here we go.

A few weeks ago, I wrote an article entitled, 25 + 5 things about me, so it was easy to borrow my 7 favorites.

My dream trip is 2 weeks in Italy. I plan to go in 3 years when my youngest son is 5.

My happiest days are spent at the beach.

The best gift that I have ever received came from my Mama, Ms. Linett and it’s the belief in God. May she rest in peace, knowing that she is love and remembered.

My thyroid hates me and I feel the same way about it. However, having a thyroid goiter has taught me the true meaning of both inner and outer beauty.

My kids have turned me into an emotional being. When I was pregnant, commercials would make me cry. Goodbye Dr. Spock.

Never thought that I would say this but I LOVE being surrounded by men! Three boys, a husband and a male cat equals a great life.

My favorite slogans are “Live and let live!” “First, do no harm”, “Stand for Something” and “Love Your Neighbor.”

I'm going to pass this award along to a few blogs that I have recently discovered and love, love, love!

...lovemaegan

The Happiest Mom

Simple Single Mom

SAHM and Marine Wife

ThemChandlers

My Topsy Turvy Life

Kelly's Break Room

Try Hard Mummy

Scary Mommy

Rage Against the Minivan

And of course... http://kptoz.blogspot.com/

So below is what I've taken from Karen's website on what to do next if you are an awardee.

Thank the person who gave you the award by linking back to them in your post
Tell us 7 things about yourself
Award a few recently discovered bloggers
Contact those bloggers and let them in on the exciting news!

If you are one of my favorite readers, please check them out and pass on the love by sharing this page! Have a fantastic day!

Shedding the Post Pregnancy Baby Belly

noreply@blogger.com (Janet Autherine) — Wed, 06 Jul 2011 02:37:00 +0000

Back on the Bike

"Mom, do you have another baby in your stomach?" This came from my 6 year old, who has reached the "brutally honest" age where everything comes out unfiltered. I just smiled and said, "no sweetie" because I think that he was actually hoping that my answer would be yes. My husband quickly tells me not to pay any attention to my son's comments because unlike my son, he is not a 6 year old and has learned to filter his comments when it comes to a woman's weight. Now, at 5' 4", 118 lbs, I am certainly not overweight; in fact, my mother thinks that I am too skinny. However, in this small frame, there is 27% body fat, confirmed by the very young lady at the gym with the tape measure and torture device that clips to the skin. So why is it so hard to shed the baby belly
that 3 kids in 5 years has blessed me with?

The truth is that I can shed it if I place the spinning bicycle right in front of the TV and get on it every time that I watch a movie or suffer through another kiddie show on Nick Jr or watch Cars with the kids for the 299th time. Some people have problems eating too much fat or salt or processed sugar; my achilles heel is the supposedly "good" sugar. I live on fruits, which you would think is great if you didn't see me eat 6 mangoes, a large bunch of grapes, 1/2 watermelon, and a container of blueberries, all in the same afternoon. I am not sure if I want to know how much sugar is involved.

Since I live in Florida, every weekend is a beach weekend so I invested in a spinning bicycle and I have vowed to use it 4 to 5 times per week for 15 min to an hour. With little kids trying to swing off the spinning bicycle while I ride, sometimes all I have is 15 minutes. Sometimes I add a little weight by riding with the baby in my arms, not my choice but he insists. I am told that washboard abs are made in the kitchen, so I have created a "Shake from Heaven" shake that I make every day. So named because, it contains a little bit all all the good things that the experts say we should eat daily. Sometimes, it is just easier to drink them than eat them. Here is the recipe:

Shake from Heaven by Autherine@BoysRising

1 cup coconut milk (can also use soy, rice, almond, hemp)

1/2 container blueberries (can also add other berries, such as raspberries)

2 teaspoons cinnamon

1 peg of ginger

1/2 banana

1/2 clove garlic

Handful of spinach

2 cups of water

1/4 cup of Noni/Gogi/Mangosteen/Acai juice

1 tablespoon Flaxseed

Protein powder (I use 1 scoop of Garden of Life Raw Protein)

I feel full and healthy when I have this for breakfast. If I drink the Shake from Heaven at 7 a.m, I am usually hungry by 11 a.m. so keep a healthy snack handy. I usually snack on a 2 Moms in the Raw blueberry bar. Brown rice or Quinoa for lunch, 1 fruit for the afternoon snack (usually an apple or mango) and a salad for dinner (no dressing, no cheese, add nuts, raisins, apple, if you need extra flavor). Add grilled salmon, if you are a meat eater. Noticed that I have cut out the 10 pieces of fruit per day but my will is not strong so if in a few weeks the belly keeps being round and happy, you will find me under a mango tree eating 10 mangoes in row. It is easy to get fixated on a specific body part but the most important goals are to live healthy, eat healthy and maintain a healthy weight for your body type. If you have all 3, ignore the scale and the sweet 6 year old.

How did you lose the baby belly? Do you have a recipe for staying healthy?

Fun with Legos - If You Can Imagine It, You Can Create It.

noreply@blogger.com (Janet Autherine) — Fri, 01 Jul 2011 03:34:00 +0000

Almost every evening, my 4 year old says, "mommy, close your eyes, I have a surprise for you!" He then leads me to his Lego creation. It is so challenging to get kids, especially boys, to sit and focus on a task that I am so happy that he can let his imagination run wild with his Legos. Often, I have no idea what he has created but he knows and he had a great time creating it.

A few more

When he asks what he should create next, I just tell him to use his imagination. If you can imagine it, you can create it.

Boy in the Mirror: Celebrating Fathers Who Create a Positive Reflection

noreply@blogger.com (Janet Autherine) — Sun, 19 Jun 2011 21:54:00 +0000

Happy Father's Day! It is a sentiment that I have rarely had a chance to express to my own father. He was in and out of my life for many years and when he was in my life, it felt strange to say it. Happy Father's Day seems like a special statement to be reserved for the most special fathers, you know, the ones who were around to change diapers, wipe tears, give great advice, lecture that boy taking me out on my first date, and walk me down the aisle during my wedding.

Growing up, I was raised by 2 great mothers so I really didn't give fatherhood much thought. Now that I am raising 3 boys and there is a daddy in the house, I finally have a true understanding of the importance of a father in the home. I have learned by watching my boys interact with their father. When they look at him, mirrored to them is a larger version of themselves. They see the man that they will one day become. They think that he is powerful, that he has all the answers and that he can do anything that he wants to do. If he makes any promise, big or small, they expect that he can and will be a man of his word. It really is an awesome responsibility.

With very little frame of reference, I often wonder how best to celebrate father's day. This year, I decided on the personal touch. I want my sons to have fond memories of Father's day and I want their dad to have mementos of each Father's day so I bought a canvas, paint and a frame and the boys got their hands messy and colorful and made fingerprints on the canvas. It is quite a challenge to get a 2 and 3 year old to make a neat hand print. Our 6 year old is an artist, so he was all about getting the perfect hand print. We then framed it, along with a favorite photo and presented it to daddy this morning.

We are not bound by our past. Every day is another opportunity to redefine ourselves and build new memories. Happy Father's Day to all the wonderful men who have risen to the challenge of being a positive reflection for a child.