“The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still” (Ex 14.14).

When I think about things in life that feed my soul (aside from spiritual disciplines & time with family and friends), my top 3 in no particular order would be:

• Reading fiction
• Writing
• Silence

(Honorable mentions: coffee, music, a good dark beer, and Friday Night Lights…)

IT’S COMPLICATED

But anyway–I’ve been thinking a lot about that third one, silence. On one hand, I love silence. I’m a night owl and I sit up late at night sometimes and soak up the glory of nothing. It’s so very good for me. (I once told my wife that silence was my favorite sound. She said, “Gee, thanks.” I’m great with words sometimes.)

But, it’s more complicated than that. Because like any good complicated human being, I also hate silence. And I bet you do too.

What I mean is, there is some kind of deep resistance to the very idea of it. I love it, but I still have to make myself do it. I have to come to some kind of mini-burnout or have a knockdown drag-out with myself to actually sit still and be quiet for more than 20 seconds.

So why are we so uncomfortable with silence? And I don’t mean just the absence of sound, but the absence of activity. Just being and not doing. I mean, I can’t even sit at a red light for 5 seconds without feeling the urge to pull out my iPhone. I need help…my therapist wife even says so. But let’s move on from that, shall we?

I bet I could convince both of us that we need more silence in our lives, and you might even nod your head in agreement. But actually doing it? That’s a different story. So what’s underneath our aversion to silence? I’ve got three ideas:

1) Silence is awkward. And, well–let’s be honest. Awkwardness is the cardinal sin of our culture. (Awkward silence, anyone?) Is there a quicker way to feel ostracized from “the crowd” than being awkward? (Unless you’re the really funny, cool kind of awkward, but that’s a different topic.) This awkwardness makes silence extraordinarily uncomfortable. I recently watched a short film where the first 15 seconds was an old woman staring silently at herself in a mirror, and I was like “Agghh! Someone do something about this! Do you not realize how uncomfortable this is?”

2) Silence is unproductive. Busy, busy, busy we are. And busy=important. Who doesn’t want to be important? You know what the problem with sitting still is? You don’t get anything done. Nothing marked off your to do list. What a waste!

3) Silence is exposing. You know what happens when I sit completely still and try to focus on doing nothing? Things come up. Mainly, things I’m trying to avoid. Things I’d rather not think about or deal with. Things I’m putting off. The Holy Spirit starts moving His finger around in my heart. And then I’m like, “You know there was a reason I was avoiding that…”

But despite all these reasons that make silence uncomfortable, I believe it is something we must fight for. And fight for it we must, because everything is working against us. For most of human history there was space carved out for silence: the day would end, the sun would drop, people would go to bed and all would be quiet. But now there is noise everywhere. TV, Facebook, Twitter, Youtube, your phone, the interwebs–these things never have to turn off if you don’t want them to.

But again, I don’t think you will pursue the discipline of silence because you realize you need to. Logic might make you think, but emotion makes you act. Unless you actually want it you’ll never genuinely pursue it. But how do we actually want it?

CUE MEN IN BLACK, OF COURSE

What if I put my Men In Black flashy thing in front of your face and made you forget everything we just talked about. And then I took off my glasses and said, “Hey, I bet you’re tired, aren’t you? If not physically, then soul tired.”

And you would reply, “Uh-huh.”

And then I would say, “Do you feel frazzled all the time? Like life is an unending series of distractions vying for your attention, and you are exhausted from trying to keep up?”

“Uh-huh.”

And then imagine that I proceeded to tell you that God has something for you. A gift–something to restore your soul. To remind you that you need a break and that you’re not self-sufficient. That things can get done tomorrow. That He will use this gift to speak to you, even if it is sometimes uncomfortable. That through it He will teach you that you are more than what you accomplish…”

Would your mouth be salivating yet?

DON’T BE A TRIFLER

So I say we try to reframe silence. That we see it as the sobering and centering treasure God intends it to be.

The discipline of nothing. Such a beautiful idea.

And over time, I hope that we learn to press into the awkwardness, to embrace the glorious lack of productivity, and realize that if things keep coming up it’s because they actually need to be dealt with. And that doing so is actually a good thing.

What a novel idea–that what God wants for us is actually for our good.

I love what John Wesley said:

“Do justice to your own soul; give it time and means to grow…else you will be a trifler all your days.”

And well, who wants to be a trifler?

Let’s make some space for the glory of nothing in our lives. Deal?

This post was inspired by the Luminous Project, a conference for creatives and communicators involved in faith-based work. For more about it, check out the Luminous website. If you’re interested in attending the event, use the promo code “luminousLOVE” (case sensitive) to get 30% off. Sign up here.

Impossible Because It’s Fake

It all started when I watched a short Youtube video about how media and advertising have been affecting our culture’s general standard of beauty (the impossibly flawless list of ideals that our society deems as most important to being judged “beautiful”). It sharply reveals (with specific examples) that in fact, many of the images of beautiful people we see on television and magazine racks are not only the work of professional make-up artists, but also significantly doctored by Photoshop. One model even said something to the effect of “I wish I looked like me.”

So all of these airbrushed, fake images that our culture props up as the standard you have to live up to breed nothing but despair, even for the very people whose actual image is used. Because even they can’t live up to it. Much less those of us who are not professional models.

But this is not God’s design for beauty. He did not intend for beauty to be judged by ridiculous, impossible outward standards and for us to feel an insatiable lacking that will never be filled.

We’re It For Each Other

To help combat this, he created this thing called marriage. This thing where two people commit to each other til death do them part.

And just like the picture we get from Adam & Eve in the garden, the plan is that we’re it for each other. My wife is the only gal in the world for me and I’m the only man in the world for her–just like we were in a garden together without another human yet on the planet. Once we tied the knot on October 20th 2007, we literally became each other’s standard of beauty.

Sucks For You Tim Riggins…

Sure, there are other fish in the sea, but there is a massive problem with every one of them–none of them are Kristi Gilstrap Clements. Sure, I sometimes think other women are attractive. But you know what their glaring and insurmountable problem is? They don’t look like my wife! They are not my wife. And therefore they are forever inferior to her. Sucks to suck.

I have a personal standard of beauty, and it looks exactly like this:

(Sidenote: why did she pick me? No clue.)

So we can watch Friday Night Lights, and Kristi can say that Tim Riggins is a hunky stud-muffin (I mean, he is, right? Who wouldn’t say that?). But you know what Tim Riggins’ problem is? He doesn’t look like me. Even with his six-pack abs, his flowing hair, his irresistible dumb-Southern-boy accent and the way he says “cawwledge” (read: college). He may be taller than me, more muscular than me, and more charming than me. It doesn’t matter. You know why?

Because he’s not me–the man that Kristi happens to be married to.

Put that in your pipe and smoke it Tim Riggins…

The Fantastic Implication

So I don’t have to mope around all insecure because I don’t look like Tim Riggins. And Kristi doesn’t have to do the same because she doesn’t look like whoever she might be tempted to compare herself to. Isn’t that fantastic? I can be me and she can be her and we can both be thrilled with that.

And the crazy thing about this whole setup is that it actually works. I mean it–it’s not just some unattainable religious ideal. The way God has designed marriage to work is constant companionship and presence. Daily reminders of each other–falling asleep and waking up, leaving for work and coming home, going out on the town and staying in your pajamas. Fallen human nature may make you think that such an environment would cause you to grow tired of your partner and want new or different, but I find that incredibly, the opposite is actually true–Kristi actually grows more and more beautiful over the years.

I’m not kidding. I’ve always been enamored with her, but there are days now when I’ll walk up on her getting ready and be genuinely stunned by her–struck at how gorgeous she is. She more and more so becomes my literal standard of beauty and others pale in comparison in a way that is just hopeless.

Because they don’t look anything like her. And they never will.

And that makes me very happy. I’ve got my own one-of-a-kind, personal beauty queen. And if you’re married, you do too.

That is a really, really cool thing. God must be a genius or something.

Happy Valentine’s Day to my personal beauty queen. I delight in you babe. 

The brutal fact is, lots of people want to be in a relationship or married really, really badly, but for whatever reason another February 14th is passing without that desire being fulfilled. Depending on one’s age and level of desire, this can be a small thing or a huge deal. I definitely feel for those who struggle mightily with this and have very deep-rooted issues that go along with it.

So I wanted to gently offer some advice for any single friends out there who may feel a sting on Valentine’s Day this year. Only because I love you. Feel free to take it or leave it.

1. There Is No Formula

This is one of the most prevalent issues I see–the struggle of comparison. “I’m ___ years old and I’m not married yet…” while most other friends may be already married and having children. Dealing with pressure from peers and family, this can lead to terribly oppressive questions like “Is there something wrong with me?”

Hear this: there is nothing wrong with you. Sure, every person on earth including you, me, and every married person you know are all jacked up sinners, but that’s not what I mean. I mean there’s nothing specifically wrong with you that makes you undesirable or not worth someone committing their life to. Some of the most incredible people I know are still single. The fact that you are still single does not in any way reflect upon your value or worth as a human being. When you hear those voices that say, “Maybe if I was _______ or _______ I would be married by now,” just tell them to shut up.

Because there is no formula to a happy, fulfilled life. No age you have to be married by or your life is totally screwed. People may try to pressure you or convince you that is true, but it’s a lie. CS Lewis didn’t marry until he was 57 years old, and judging from his writing, he had one of the happiest marriages you could think of.

2. Marriage Will Not Complete You

Taking that idea one step further–marriage is not some sort of magic pill that turns all of your problems to dust and cures the deep aches of your soul. And if you think that it will fully complete you, you are in for a sore disappointment.

Sure–it is a mysterious, beautiful picture of intimacy, commitment, and community. Designed by God, special, and weighty.

But is it the final, complete state of human existence? Nope. How do I know? Because Jesus says there won’t even be marriage in heaven (Matt 22.30).

Now, I’ll shoot straight with you. As a very happily married person, it’s a bit hard to imagine not being married to Kristi in God’s final restoration of all things. But what this truth shows us is that marriage is simply a shadow of deeper spiritual realities. That it is not some final state of completion, but a tool for community and trust that will in the end no longer be necessary because all of our relational needs will be met in deeper and truer ways.

What are all the depths of meaning covered in that truth? I have no idea–that’s above my pay grade. But I’ll tell you one thing that I know it means for sure–that singleness in community can be an existence just as complete and fulfilled as marriage.

That marriage does not equal completeness, and singleness does not mean your life is lacking in quality, meaning, or purpose. Not even a little bit–not even if you were to never get married. Some of the world’s most incredible and inspiring people were single their entire lives.

3. God’s Story Is Worth Waiting On

 Notice I didn’t say marriage is worth waiting on. It is, but that’s not what I mean.

God’s story for your life is worth waiting on. It’s worth the patience, humility, and surrender it takes to let Him tell it. It may very well include marriage if that’s a desire of your heart. Or it may include Him calling you to put that desire on the altar for a time (or for a very long time) while He gives you something better.

Regardless of what His story entails, it is worth waiting on. It may include more waiting and difficulty than you’d ideally like, but one day you will look back and agree that it was totally worth it. Please don’t get sick of waiting and impatiently marry someone that will turn out to be a lifelong difficulty. Please. (Also, try not to have unrealistic expectations of marriage and be impossibly picky…but that’s another conversation!)

4. There Is Growth For You Now

When I have to wait on something that I really, really want, my tendency is to just get pissy and irritable–to have a kind of tunnel-vision that doesn’t care about anything except getting what I want.

Try not to be like me, especially with this. Humbly repent of any jealousy you have over friends who have spouses or dates for Valentine’s Day. Rejoice with those who rejoice, like Paul says. Even when it’s exceptionally hard.

Don’t just poke your lip out and cross your arms, even if it’s what you want to do. Talk to your Father, ask Him to show you how He’s trying to grow you in this time. Ask Him if you idolize having a relationship and if He’s protecting you from that. Ask Him what it looks like to pursue a relationship in a godly way.

Above all, learn now to treasure Him more than His gifts. Learn to really enjoy time with Him. There are ways you can mature through singleness that are much harder to grow in once you are married. So focus on “being the one” and not on “finding the one”. Don’t waste your singleness–it is a gift. Steward it well.

And on Valentine’s Day, please don’t sit at home pout watching The Bachelor. PLEASE, don’t do that. Do something that’s fun for you. Maybe get dressed up and go out with some friends. Have some good food and drinks and poke fun at the mushy couples around you. You can call it “Singles’ Awareness Day” if you want to. Heck, you can watch a specific couple and improv a really funny conversation like when you watch TV on mute. Or maybe treat yourself to a massage or a milkshake…

Whatever you do, by all means, try to have fun. And smile. Smiling is good. It might even become your favorite, like Buddy the Elf.

So, that’s it. Just a bit of advice that I hope is a helpful reminder for at least one person. I wish you a happy Valentine’s Day…or Singles’ Awareness Day.

Do you have plans to celebrate the holiday, whether you’re in a relationship or not? Going out for a night on the town? Sticking it to the man for Singles’ Awareness Day? I’d love to hear about your plans if so.

The Importance Of Zooming Out

When I’m talking to people about this, I always tell them to zoom out. Don’t obsess over how frustrated you are about your recent failings and how little you seem to have grown in the past few weeks. Instead, zoom out and think about how far you’ve come in the past year or two. Most always, when they hear that their perspective is broadened and they admit that they are a completely different person now than they were back then.

Metaphors Galore

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the New Testament uses all sorts of farming metaphors to describe spiritual life and growth. We as modern Americans think fruit just magically appears on grocery store shelves, so we don’t really get it. But if you’ve ever had a garden, you know. There is a lot of waiting. You plow and plant, then you wait. You water, and you wait. You pluck up weeds, and you wait.

And then one day when you’re not even expecting it, you see a little green bulb sprout. Before long, that little flower turns into a little vegetable. Then you watch it grow day by day and eventually it’s ready to pick.

We should probably do more farming. It would be a good reminder that growth takes time. That we can and should do what we can–plow, water, and weed–but the real deep work of the heart is God’s work. And just like a garden, it may be slower than we want sometimes, but in the end it’s all worth it because there is even more growth in the process. He does good work in His good timing.

This poem below is very encouraging to me and I hope it will be the same for you.

May we all “accept the anxiety of feeling…in suspense and incomplete” and “above all, trust in the slow work of God.”

The Prayer Of The Jesuit Priest Teillard de Chardin.

“Above all, trust in the slow work of God.
We are quite naturally impatient in everything
to reach the end without delay.
We should like to skip the intermediate stages.
We are impatient of being on the way
to something unknown,
something new.
Yet it is the law of all progress that is made
by passing through some stages of instability
and that may take a very long time.
And so I think it is with you.
Your ideas mature gradually. Let them grow.
Let them shape themselves without undue haste.
Do not try to force them on
as though you could be today what time
– that is to say, grace –
and circumstances
acting on your own good will
will make you tomorrow.
Only God could say what this new Spirit
gradually forming in you will be.
Give our Lord the benefit of believing
that his hand is leading you,
and accept the anxiety of feeling yourself
in suspense and incomplete.
Above all, trust in the slow work of God,
our loving vine-dresser.
Amen.”

But seriously. I hate it. This may be a tad exaggerated, but it’s not a fake rant. My insides genuinely stir watching it. It makes me feel sad, angry, and nauseous at the same time.

Why, you ask? Why such vitriol?

1. It’s FAKE.

Those poor girls that are tearing up over whether they’ll get a rose or not…you think they’re really in love with that guy? (What’s his name, Ben?)

No they’re not in love with him. They’re in love with “love”, and by “love” I mean their messed up and manipulated idea of love. Plus, I’d assume they are also quite fond of free exotic vacations, ridiculous pampering, LOTS of make up, spray on tans, high-dollar dresses, and being paraded around on national TV like a Barbie doll for millions of adoring fans.

That’s what they’re in love with. I’d love to know how many of The Bachelor/Bachelorette marriages last longer than 5 years. I’d bet two of my toes that it’s not many.

I have been married for almost five wonderful years, and what I know from my very happy marriage is that real love is very different from the bull-hockey you see on The Bachelor. It’s not always fuzzies and giggles. It’s not some fairy tale extravaganza where you’re whisked around to the most romantic places in the world to eat chocolate covered strawberries and decide whether or not your fickle feelings feel like they are in “love” with that particular person in that moment.

No, it’s better than that. It’s much less dramatic. More real. Less ooy-gooey. Less butterflies, more commitment. More like a long-term friendship where you would not only die for them, you want to live for them, too. Even when you don’t feel like it and sometimes it’s very un-romantic and totally unlike The Bachelor, you want to serve them anyway, because they are yours. They are your best friend and you know that–so you love them and you don’t have to ask your feelings what they think about that. Sure there are butterflies, and they are awesome. But more than fairy-tale in the sky butterflies, they are everyday “I’m so blessed to do life with this person” butterflies.

And those are better. Because they actually last & grow stronger over time, instead of fizzling out when the fairy-tale ends.

2. Did you hear me say it’s FAKE?

(Refer to #1)

3. Because it’s basically emotional porn.

When I watch it I can’t help but imagine all the females around the world watching it, oohhing and aahhing, saying things like “I wish I could find a guy like that…”

(Refer back to #s 1 and 2)

Do you really think you know the real Ben or whatever his name is from watching this staged-for-ratings show? Yeah, I bet he’s awesome. He probably has lilacs growing out of his chest in lieu of hair. I bet he could chop down a tree with his bare hands and then catch a falling damsel in distress before it hit the ground.

Or…maybe he’s a real guy with VERY real flaws. Flaws like the guys you know. Maybe he’s not near as romantic and awesome when he doesn’t have a crew whose jobs depend on their creativity and a ginormous budget to pull off his romantic stunts.

Fast forward five years to when Ben and whoever he gives the rose to may or may not still be married. If they are still married, I’m predicting some kind of scene where the lucky girl is crying because she’s realized that he’s a jacked-up sinner like the rest of us, and she’s screaming “Where’s the Ben I met back on The Bachelor?”

So, in conclusion, I really do hate The Bachelor. But a few things to clarify:

What I Am NOT Saying

That if you watch the show you are evil, dumb, or stupid. That the show is inherently evil. I have friends who watch it for the sheer ridiculousness or entertainment value, which I can definitely see. Or maybe you watch it to admirably poke fun at it like my friend Knox.

What I Am Saying

That if you watch the show, I hope you are discerning. Especially if you a) desperately want to be married or b) are in an unhappy marriage and watching the show is some kind of escape where you dream about what could be.

If that is true, please be careful and don’t let it lead you into fairy-tale land. Don’t let it give you impossible expectations and decide, “I’m not getting married unless it’s just like that.” I hate to break it to you, but the odds of getting proposed to with a five carat diamond in Tahiti on national TV are pretty slim.

And if your marriage is not great, don’t run to that crap to daydream. Pursue your spouse. Go to marriage counseling. Have much needed, honest conversations that you avoid all the time. I know some of you have it really tough and I hate that. Don’t give up. Discern the things you are trying to get from The Bachelor and figure out how to pursue those in your marriage. The things that the show plays on and distorts–romance and emotion–should be present in a healthy marriage. Keep fighting.

Okay. That ends my rant about The Bachelor for now. Thanks for enduring it if you’ve read this far. And if you so desire, I’d love to hear your thoughts about the show. Do you watch it? Do you like it or hate it like me?

The wind was blowing hard, and when it does so at our house it often catches our storm door on the front porch, blows it open like a tornado, and knocks this bench off of the porch.

It happened on Friday and the bench broke after falling off the porch. So I decided to go outside and fix it. On the way out, I heard Kristi say, “Brandon, wait…” I knew she was going to tell me not to fix it. But I’m a man, you know, and I wanted to fix it.

So what did I do?

I pretended that I didn’t hear her and kept walking outside. I went around the porch, picked up the bench, and started to put the screw back in.

Right at this time, Kristi naturally came outside to tell me not to fix the bench because she was going to throw the piece of junk away.

But…as soon as she opened the storm door, guess what the wind did?

Yep.

It caught the door. And I mean it caught it. I have no idea how non-hurricane winds can make that thing move that fast.

I looked up right in time to hear the whoosh of the door and see it slam into the bench.

But not in time to move before the bench slammed into my eye and knocked me on my butt.

Oh, it hurt.

And after Kristi made sure I was okay, she laughed. I mean, you kind of had to. I’ve been telling people that it was kind of like a scene from Final Destination, except thankfully I didn’t die.

It was funny, I have to admit it.

But I’ve been thinking about how I’ve changed over the years and how God has grown me. I swear, in high school I would have been absolutely convinced that God gave me a black eye. It was what I deserved for ignoring my wife. It was punishment.

True story: in my senior year of high school, we lost a playoff football game that we were supposed to win. And I was convinced that we lost because I had done something wrong the week before.

I mean convinced. For years.

But I don’t think that way anymore.

And I think that is grace.

Because the more I have grown to know God, the more I see Him as a loving father. I realize that He does discipline His children like Hebrews 12 says, but in a loving way and not in an “I’m out to get you” kind of way.

Like a conversation I had with someone recently, where they said that they were always afraid to respond to God because they thought He just wanted to punish them. That He was waiting with a hammer and an anvil. And I got to remind them that instead He was on a cross, taking the hammer Himself so we wouldn’t have to.

I don’t think He was standing there on Friday with lightning bolts in His hand saying, “See what you get when you ignore your wife punk!”

No.

I think He was slapping His knee, sharing a very good-natured laugh with me and Kristi about the ridiculousness of it all.

In an effort to spread his wisdom I asked him to do an interview for my blog. So please do enjoy and learn a thing or two. And if you are a writer of anything, please pick up the 2 eBooks he just released (Every Writers Dream and Before Your First Book). They are incredible and helpful, I promise.

Jeff, anyone in the writing blogosphere knows that your blog has absolutely blown up in under a year’s time, which is quite astounding. How did you do it?

Good question. Short answer: I don’t know. I’ll tell you how I didn’t do it. I didn’t do it by planning for it. I didn’t set goals; I didn’t try to make something happen. Nor did I do it by comparing myself to some mega-blogger that I held on a pedestal (and there are a few of those for me).

What I did do was I took my writing more seriously than I ever have before. I wrote my heart out. I listened to conventional wisdom. I broke a few rules (on purpose). I stole from what I saw “experts” doing and made it my own. Mostly, I just wrote. I didn’t grow as quickly as some (there’s always someone better), but I’m pretty happy with the past year. It’s been surprising and fun.

What are the most important things you have learned along the way?

Plans don’t work. For years I “planned” to write a book or become an author. It didn’t happen.

What did work was creating new habits — doing the dirty work of getting up every day and writing. Even when I was tired and unmotivated and even uninspired.

If you really want to do something, you have to make it habitual. And the only way to do that is to make room in your life for something new. It won’t be easy. There will be a cost, and you may have to sacrifice important things. So it had better be worth it.

What are your two new eBooks about?

They’re about publishing.

Every Writers Dream is the barebones guide for how you create a platform that will attract publishers so that you never have to pitch your work again. Anyone who does any kind of freelance writing — anyone who’s ever written a query letter or book proposal — knows the pain of pitching (and rejection that often comes with it). This book will help you build an asset that attracts attention. It’s basically what I accidentally did this past year.

Before Your First Book is an add-on to EWD. It’s a more practical guide to getting your writing noticed now (including some sample pitches I’ve written), so that you can create a portfolio that leads to your not having to pitch anymore.

In other words, EWD is more theory, and BFB is more practice. Both are some of the most important pieces I’ve written so far on the craft of writing.

Let’s chat about self-promotion…everyone knows that artists and writers have to self-promote and really put themselves out there if they ever want anyone to read their work. But many people in our generation are very weary of self-promotion and balk at the term “platform” because it can reek of pomp and pride. Many artists find themselves in a conundrum of wanting to share their art but not wanting to be “that guy”. So how can we be intentional about sharing our work (and therefore building a following) without being sleazy?

Well, first of all, don’t create crap. This should be a given, but it’s not. A lot of people are creating mediocre work and trying to pass it off as excellent. Start by creating something you can be proud of.

Then, build meaningful relationships where you help people. Serve your way into influence. Don’t make cold calls or asks. Earn the right to be heard. Make friends, real friends.

Then, demonstrate your competency. Send the occasional email; bring your portfolio to a coffee meeting. Don’t be afraid to share your work with someone. There’s nothing wrong with emailing a friend a blog post or sharing an article with someone whom you think it will help.

The trick is permission. You become “that guy” when you make asks without permission. Oh, and if you build a platform (a blog, podcast, speaking career, whatever) that attracts an audience, you avoid a lot of the awkwardness of asking. It can be difficult, and you have to earn your dues, but it’s possible.

You have a book coming out later this year…can you tell us what it’s about and when we can get it?

It’s called Wrecked: When a Painful World Slams into Your Comfortable Life. In short, it’s about how we find our life’s purpose in midst of the world’s pain and suffering. Things like HIV and world hunger and homelessness can, in fact, be avoided, but those who are making a difference refuse to look the other way. The book describes my own experiences as a missionary and how that’s shaped my worldview — as well as lots of interesting stories from other people. It’ll be available “wherever books are sold” (I’ve always wanted to use that phrase) in the fall.

You are currently one of the most prolific writers I know of, pumping out blogs, guest posts, and eBooks like it’s your full-time job (which I know it’s not–yet, at least). How do you produce so much great content? Do you ever get tired or do you just buy truckloads of Five Hour Energy?

Yes.

Okay, not really. Just coffee.

Thanks, I suppose. I think what I do is try to never work from scratch. I’m terrified of the blank page. So I am always capturing ideas with little notes that I write to myself. Then why I want to write an article or eBook or whatever, I have something to start with. That’s how I blog, write articles, etc. I am always repurposing things (including emails, phone conversations, etc.). I try to never waste a single creative thought. It’s paying off well, because when I started writing my book, I found I had about half of it already written on my computer (albeit, in a pretty rough form).

Here is a quote from Before Your First Book: “Remember: This is about forming relationships as much as it is about creating content.” That seems really important. Can you expound a bit more on that?

You’ve heard this before. You’ve wondered if it was true, even suspected it. I can confirm it as fact for you. It’s true: It’s not just what you know, but who you know, that matters.

For writers, this means you can’t just be a good writer. You have to do the hard work of building intentional relationships. You have to earn the right to be heard. This doesn’t mean you can terrible at the craft; it just means that content is not enough. You need people. Like I said, you already know this. Time to act on it.

What do you dream of doing long-term with your writing?

Is it disingenuous to say that I am doing it? I’m writing, and my words are changing people. I’m even earning some money and having a blast as I do it. What more could I ask for?

Of course, I’d like to write many more books — memoirs and novels and all kinds of new endeavors. I’d also like to speak more on the topics I write (I’m doing some gigs this year, which I’m excited about). And a super-big pipe dream would be to have a short story featured on NPR’s This American Life. I love that show. So yeah, those are some dreams. But if all I ever do is keep doing what I’m doing, I would be pretty content. Fortunately, though, I think the best is yet to come.

You once told me that if I came to Nashville, you’d buy me a Hot Toddy…is that deal still on?:)

Deal.

“An ‘impersonal God’–well and good. A subjective God of beauty, truth and goodness, inside our own heads–better still. A formless life-force surging through us, a vast power which we can tap–best of all. But God Himself, alive, pulling at the other end of the cord, perhaps approaching at an infinite speed, the hunter, king, husband–that is quite another matter. There comes a moment when the children who have been playing at burglars hush suddenly: was that a real footstep in the hall?…Supposing we really found Him? We never meant it to come to that! Worse still, supposing He had found us?”

Don’t you just love that image? Pulling at the other end…approaching at an infinite speed.

It seems very like God to remind us of this. Especially when we get lost in our rituals and habits, and you lose sight of the fact that there’s a real person on the other end of this relationship, and then He somehow taps on your shoulder or busts open your little bubble and you get that same jolt that you get during scary movies.

Maybe I’m just weird, but I hope some of you know what I’m talking about.

It is a crazy wonderful thing that God pursues. That He taps and whistles and pokes and yells, through a thousand different things to get our attention. Because we drift, forget, become numb and sleepy.

But the difficult thing about God being a real person happens to be the fact that, well, He’s a real person. Not a construct or a fetch-boy, but a real, wise and self-sufficient being. He can’t be pigeon-holed or bossed around. He can say “No” and not do things exactly like we want Him to. Just like other people.

If He was a robot, you could make Him yank the other end of the rope when you wanted Him to. (But you’ll be glad to hear that He’s not a robot.)

If you don’t believe me, do an experiment. Go up to a random stranger and instruct them to take off your smelly shoes and give you a ten-minute foot massage. See if they comply.

You’re back already? That didn’t take long…

So…that fact makes me really wary when I hear people talk about testing God. Specifically when people get really stressed, frustrated, or confused and they’re like “Okay, GOD–if you’re really out there then I need you to do _______ to prove to me that you’re really there.” It’s essentially drawing a box, giving God a time-frame, and then standing there to watch the box.

And I suppose that sometimes God goes along with it. I’ve heard stories.

But I’ve also heard stories of bitter and cynical people who believe God bailed on them because He didn’t show up in their box in their timeframe. Like a story I heard recently about a guy who was laid off from a ministry, and after praying and searching for a job for several years, he didn’t find one that he wanted. So he bailed on God and doesn’t want to talk about Him at all now, with anyone.

And that makes me cringe. Because if I’ve learned anything about God, it’s that He generally doesn’t fit into boxes.

So, please remember that the next time you are standing there, staring back and forth between your watch and a box in the sand, growing more bitter and jaded by the minute.

You just never know.

He may be doing jumping jacks behind you.

And we have never (except for a VERY brief stint) had services on Sunday mornings.

Can you believe that? (Just in case you don’t know, that is extremely rare.)

We’ve begged and pleaded with God to give us a space to meet on Sunday mornings. Because that’s when most people want to attend church services. Especially older people and families with children.

But for five years He said “Wait.” He certainly still blessed us in unimaginable ways. But with that seemingly very important thing, He said to wait.

So we did. And He still blessed us along the way.

And then yesterday, we finally had our first Sunday morning service (in addition to 4 other Sunday night services).

I’ll admit, none of us thought it would take five years to get that prayer answered.

But you know what we learned through it?

That God and His timing are worth waiting on.

That He’s good in the meantime.

That you don’t have to meet on Sunday mornings to be the church.

That sometimes you appreciate things more when you have to wait on them.

That God provides for us. Even with a bunch of young people and a ridiculously shoestring budget. He provides.

So. I bet there is probably something in your life that you are waiting for. Something you are praying and yearning for.

Maybe it’s a new job. One that you don’t hate.

Maybe it’s an acceptance letter from your dream school or a contract with a publisher.

Maybe it’s a husband or a wife.

Maybe it’s having a child.

Maybe it’s ______ , one of a thousand different things.

I have good news for you.

It’s not that if you just wait long enough, you’ll definitely get _______. Sorry. I could tell you that, but it’d be a lie. I don’t know if God will definitely give you what you’re waiting for.

The good news is that, in short, He is good and you get Him. A Father who gives good gifts to His children. And He grows and changes you along the way.

That’s actually better news than “You’ll definitely get _______.” Because He knows what’s best for you. You can trust Him. And He very well may give you _______ eventually.

But it’s okay if He doesn’t, because ______ is not a cure-all and it’s not the point and you still get Him. He is the real treasure and prize, so anything else is just icing on the cake.

He would have been good if we were a “Sunday night church” forever.

And He’ll be good if whatever you’re waiting for takes a really long time, or even never comes.

Because you’ll sit there without _______ and come to realize that you’re okay without it though you once thought you’d die if you didn’t get it. You’ll see that you have depth and relationship with your Father and you’ll be resolved that the immovable peace that He brings is better than a thousand _______’s.

So. The good news is:

If you have Him, you win either way.

Every Bush Is Burning by Brandon Clements is one of those books you start reading and think to yourself, “I really don’t like this guy,” (the main character) but you keep reading because you somehow understand exactly what he’s talking about.  And what Jack Bennett is talking about is his life; his work, his failing marriage, and his disgust with ‘Christianity.’

Jack is a thirty-something reporter who writes op-ed pieces.  He has the perfect life; house in the suburbs, beautiful and adoring wife, twin boys who are two years old… and a mistress.  But after he writes an article on how most of America’s Christians go to church on Sunday and look down their noses at the less-fortunate the rest of the week, his entire world changes.

He meets a homeless man named Yeshua, who tells him to confess his affair to his wife and do whatever it takes to win her back.  As Jack and Yeshua spend time together, Jack becomes more and more convinced that this man really is the Jesus of the Bible.

Jack shares the stories of his childhood; an absent father, a loving and hard-working mother, and the responisibility he feels about the sexual abuse his younger sister endured at the hands of an uncle.  The reader begins to believe that this is some supernatural relationship, just like Jack does. It’s not until the very end that the reader discovers why Jack is sharing his story with a complete stranger and realizes what the relationship between Yeshua and Jack truly is.

This is an enjoyable story, even though what the author is saying about the 21st-century American church is often painful to read.  But it’s painful in the way removing an infected sliver from a finger is painful.  It must be done if the infection is to be stopped so the finger can heal.  Although some may have trouble with a Jesus who drinks beer and listens to Nine-Inch Nails (this reader wasn’t particularly pleased with it), being able to move past these minor details is essential, especially in light of how the story concludes.  A look at the bigger picture is needed.

Each individual reader may recognize themselves in different passages of Every Bush Is Burning, but in order to make a real differnce in the lives of those we interact with every day, we need to do more than recognize our failings.  We must admit them and be willing to do the hard work that comes with being a Christian in a fallen world.

This is Brandon Clements’ debut novel, but hopefully it won’t be his last.

(Funny clarification: Yeshua didn’t actually listen to Nine Inch Nails in the book. I got a good laugh out of that.)

Thanks to Cindi for the encouragement and for posting this great review!