Unfortunately, there is still a lot of fear and even some hatred that drives people to create barriers for others in order for them to feel secure themselves.

I rarely openly discuss contentious political or social issues like this here, but I can’t help but feel compelled to speak up today. I’ve never been the type to proclaim my sexuality or make a fuss about gay marriage. Although I am gay, the prospect of marriage just seemed so far from my reality that it didn’t pull me into direct action. It wasn’t my fight, so I stayed on the sidelines.

Many of my friends are ardent activists and have fought for this issue and many other gay rights issues for years and even decades. Today’s victory belongs to them, there is no doubt. But it is undeniably shared with the rest of us that quietly go about our lives without rocking the boat. Some choose this out of fear, some out of comfort, and some because they just don’t want the spotlight on themselves under any circumstances. I can relate to all of these reasons and that’s why speaking out now is so important.

When I was very young, I knew I was gay. It was something I just felt from an early age and I never really questioned it. Sure, I tried to hide it and pretend that it wasn’t part of who I was, but I didn’t deny it to myself.

There were no gay role models then; no Internet to connect with supportive resources. To be sure, it was a different world then. In my middle school and high school years, there were plenty of people that suspected I was gay, and after being outed in the 9th grade, there were several kids in my school that wanted to beat the shit out of me. I managed to avoid physical confrontations in those years, but the threat of being assaulted was ever present.

I learned survival skills back then, one of which was how to be a chameleon and blend in with most any crowd. The last thing I wanted to do was attract too much attention – it was out of fear. I was fearful for my personal safety, but I learned how to keep myself safe by getting along with people who might have contempt for gay people, or people that were just ‘different.’ This pattern of learning how to fit in to avoid detection served me when I had fewer options, but it has turned into a liability over the years and it manifests in ways that I don’t like today.

Today brought it all to a head for me. While I am not in hiding any longer and will openly discuss my sexual preference with anyone who asks, I have been far from active in the movement for equal rights for LBGT people. Thankfully others have been much more active and the progression toward acceptance has continued to pick up momentum.

But when someone like a US President speaks out, it’s time for us all to raise our hands and be counted amongst the millions of people who are denegrated and disrespected regularly in our culture.

The President spoke out and took a huge political risk for us, and we owe it to ourselves to use this as a moment to show solidarity with our LGBT brothers and sisters and remind the rest of the world that we are part of the fabric of society and will not hide in the shadows while our rights are trampled on.

There are many who believe that this is not an issue that belongs in Presidential politics, and in all honesty I tend to agree. There are urgent issues that our nation, and indeed our entire species faces that require our immediate attention.

But I also understand what it means to be subjected to hate, bigotry, discrimination, and the prejudices of society on a daily basis. I know what it’s like to feel alone in a struggle for basic respect. And I know what it’s like to lose your dignity out of fear of being discovered and physically harmed.

While gay marriage may not be a top pressing issue for a US President to crusade for, I admire Barack Obama for speaking his mind, however unpopular his opinion might be in certain circles. I don’t expect any immediate broad, sweeping changes as a result of his remarks, but I do hope it will help steer the conversation in our nation toward acceptance, understanding, and love.

If someone in his position can speak out and be honest about his feelings on this, perhaps many others will follow.

I never thought I would write this post. I’ve historically kept this side of myself fairly ambiguous in social media channels, but I feel compelled to speak up now. I hope that this will help in some small way to explain a side of the issue that some may not have heard.

What about you? Is there something in your life that you feel like speaking out on? Just imagine how the world can benefit from hearing your voice.

Some people exude joy everywhere they go, even in the most mundane activities. I’ve been fortunate to know several people like that over the years. 3 days ago, I lost one of them in a tragic accident and my heart feels very heavy today as I think about it.

My friend and neighbor, Jeremy Smith, was one of the most positive, upbeat, enthusiastic people I have ever met in my life.

He exuded joy.

Always.

I can’t recall ever seeing him when he wasn’t smiling. He was always happy and his joy for life rubbed off on other people that had the privilege of being around him.

His sudden death this week has shaken me to my core and reminded me yet again just how important every day is in this remarkable life on earth. It’s a harsh wake up call, yet I see it as a challenge to be a better person and to bring more joy into the world, every day.

3 weeks ago, I sent Jeremy a text message to ask him if he was going to join my Hunger Walk/Run team again this year. He was the only person that had been there every year since I started forming walk teams, but he had not signed up yet. That particular week was tough for him – he was extremely busy at work and said he had no time to take on anything else. I understood and went about my day. A few minutes later, I got an email notification that he had joined the team.

I smiled and thanked him for making the effort, despite clearly having a lot of other things on his mind. He ended up raising $200 that will be used to bring joy into the lives of those who struggle with hunger every day. People that would have gone without food will eat because he stepped up and answered the call to help others while doing something he loved to do in the process.

A few days later, we met at the starting line for the run, chatted for a few minutes, and off we went. He was a much faster runner, and he took off quickly, leaving me behind. It was the last time I saw my friend alive.

At the risk of this post sounding like a eulogy, I feel compelled to share this story. For myself, and for you.

By sharing this, I get to honor my fallen friend, and hopefully you get the sense of the impact we can each have on others in our world.

Every day, I aspire to be a joyous, positive person and bring happiness to those around me. Sometimes it comes easily, but I have yet to get to the level of joy that Jeremy seemed to embody so effortlessly.

I would prefer not to have to lose a friend to spark a change in my behavior. This is the second friend I’ve lost in the last 6 months, and my heart truly aches for not only my loss, but the loss to the world.

Losing Jeremy reminds me that every single one of us has the opportunity to either spread joy through the things we think, say, and do, or to spread negative energy and fear through these same thoughts and behaviors.

Simply smiling at people changes the world.

Saying thank you changes the world.

Answering the call to serve others changes the world.

Everyone can be a beacon of light and happiness for others to see just a easily as we can gripe and fret over all the things we perceive as wrong in our lives.

We each have within us the ability to spread joy in this world. Jeremy chose to. Will you?

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The Hunger Walk/Run fundraising campaign is open through March 31 – if this post speaks to you, would you consider making a donation to Jeremy’s page?

Photo: Brandon and Jeremy – Hunger Walk/Run 2011

The annual Hunger Walk/Run is something I’ve participated in for many years, but this year, I donned a pair of running shoes and a determination to push myself further than I had ever gone before.

I wrote about my reasons for not running before in an earlier post, and in all honesty I was still slightly unsure of how my endurance would hold out in the actual run. Last Sunday at 2pm, the starting gun was fired and off we went – hundreds or perhaps thousands of runners all took off in an effort to assist in the alleviation of hunger and poverty in Georgia. Some, like me, did it for exercise, while others did it to race their friends and family.
I quickly found myself running at a faster pace than I have started out with lately. A mile into the race, I was feeling great and had definitely hit my stride. I kept pushing and was catching up with Matthew and Nick, who I started with and who had pulled ahead early on. Both of my running mates were much younger and had been running for years; they were the clear favorites to outpace me.

On the last mile, I ran past Nick and was gaining consistently on Matthew, who was totally oblivious to my presence at his heels. At the end of the run, I clocked in just 4 seconds behind Matthew. I wish I could have captured the expression on his face when I tapped his shoulder and he saw I had completed the race right begin him – the look of shock compounded the sense of accomplishment I felt in running the race for the first time with such a respectable pace.

This experience has opened my mind to new ideas about what I’m physically capable of and despite my relative slow start at getting into running, it feels like I am finding a new zone.

In 1973, Pink Floyd wrote a song called Time, which has one of the most important messages of any song I’ve heard before. Here are some of the more poignant lyrics:

Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
Fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way

Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way

Tired of lying in the sunshine
Staying home to watch the rain
You are young and life is long
And there is time to kill today.

And then one day you find
Ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run
You missed the starting gun.

Consider the meaning behind those lyrics for a moment. What does it bring up for you?

What starting gun are you waiting for?

Also, you can still donate to my Hunger Walk/Run campaign if you would like.  Online donations are accepted through March. 31. Thanks!

When I was in high school, I told myself that I wasn’t a runner. ‘I have bad knees.’  This is a belief I held onto, and I believed it all the way into adulthood. I’ve always been a pretty active person, particularly when it comes to outdoor activities, but running had been completely off the table.

An interesting thing happened lately, though. I went for a run in the park across the street from my new home. It was only about 2.5 miles, but the pace was respectable (8’14″ if I recall). I did it again a week later, and then again a few days after that.

Last night, I went for my 4th ‘real’ run, and lo and behold, I blew past my previous distances and had a faster pace as well. I ended up doing 3.5 miles at an average pace of 7’51″.  Not bad.

For many years, I have participated in the annual Hunger Walk/Run benefiting the Atlanta Community Food Bank, but I have never done the Run portion of the event. I decided a few weeks ago that I was going to run this year. It’s just a 5K, so no big pressure or anything. Still, this was something I had simply not considered in years past.

I also increased my personal fundraising goal to $1500 – 50% over last year’s goal.

That’s a serious commitment, but one that I’m compelled to fulfill.

The work of the Atlanta Community Food Bank is critical to helping provide assistance to those in need in the North Georgia area. The ACFB distributed 34% more food and grocery products to partner agencies last year than in the previous year. That’s a huge increase in distribution and it underscores the ever-increasing need for these services out in the community.

I’m asking for your help to meet my goal today which will help the ACFB’s ongoing efforts to provide relief from hunger and poverty in our community.

Any and all support is greatly appreciated. 

Please click here to make a donation and sponsor my first ever 5K run.

We tell ourselves stories all the time; stories about our bodies, our abilities (physical, mental, occupational, etc.), about what the world is like, and stories about what is possible. Sometimes we need to stop and consider where these stories came from and if they still apply.

When we believe we can’t do something, we are right. As long as we hold a belief, it’s virtually guaranteed that our world will manifest based around that belief. But what happens when we challenge these beliefs?  Is it possible to change our experience of the world quickly?

You bet.

And last night, I proved it.

This coming Sunday, I’ll line up with thousands of other people who are coming out to participate in the Hunger Walk/Run here in Atlanta, and for the first time in my 37 years on this planet, I’ll run an acutal 5K race.

‘I’m not a runner’ is no longer a belief I hold.

Instead, I believe that I rise to the challenges that are put before me.

If you would like to support my effort to meet my fundraising challenge, please click here to make a donation.

What about you? Are there stories you tell yourself and beliefs you hold that are limiting your potential? Consider how your world might change if you alter these beliefs.

Speaking of stories and what is possible, check out this amazingly inspiring TED talk by Peter Diamandis from last month’s TED conference – it’s called Abundance is our future. It’s one of the best I’ve watched yet.

What beliefs can you challenge today to push yourself further than you think is possible right now?

It’s the beginning of a 9-day push to achieve a big fundraising goal to help those who are hungry through the Hunger Walk/Run here in Atlanta.

And, this is also the point where I begin to share more openly again about the process I’m going through.

What has remained constant throughout this meandering journey has been an insatiable appetite for change, growth, and pushing myself outside my comfort zone.

All of the above have been available in ample doses lately.

At times, I get so deeply involved with the process that I’m going through that I have a tough time slowing down long enough to share it here on my blog. This post was started 2 weeks ago, but I didn’t get more than a few sentences before something pulled me away. Evidently I wasn’t ready to share yet, and in some ways it feels like I’m still not.

Interestingly, I don’t really miss my loft. Living there for 9+ years was amazing, and I thought it would be much harder to leave it. The transition happened quite gracefully, although I learned a lot about what it takes to prepare a fully furnished home for others to move into. That process alone consumed a solid week of my time and parts of several weeks leading up to the final push.

I must admit here that I haven’t developed much of a routine in my new place. I haven’t meditated in 2 months or more, the exercise program has been spotty at best, and clearly, writing hasn’t been a focus. In fact, most social media activity has dwindled for me.

Perhaps I was expecting too much, too quickly. As if I was going to bounce right into a new reality after an exhausting lead-up sprint and hit the ground running with the vigor of a young kid. I suppose I just needed some time to process it all privately.

The best thing about this process is that I feel like I can breathe again. The work that I feel compelled to do is getting more attention and is coming into sharper focus.

I get up every day and look out over Piedmont Park with a cup of freshly pressed coffee in my mug, listening to the sounds of the city humming in the background. Construction on the Beltline  (a walking/biking/transit project) continues right beneath my window and reminds me how much I enjoy riding my bike throughout the city, and also how progress continues its steady march forward, with or without my participation.

I promised to share this process as it unfolds and although it took me a few weeks to get to the point where it felt natural to share, here we are.

Today is a new beginning. I’m celebrating it with a smile and renewed spring in my step.  What about you?