BRATINELLA AND ME dares to speak out anytime, anywhere about anything to anyone.

Episode #11: Ba't Ka Nagagalit?!

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sat, 13 Mar 2010 15:55:00 +0000

We were at the coffee shop working on our blog – when Bratinella’s buddy happened to walk into the place.

Kulit: I thought I'd find you here...

HER: Uy – hello!

Kulit: I’m not stalking you ha . . .

HER: No prob . . . we’re just working on our blog.

Kulit: (Looking at me . . .) Hello.

ME: Hel... uhurmphh! (choking on my sandwich). . . Sorry 'bout that . . .

We exchanged some small talk – then I went back to what I was doing . . . but half my attention (well, more than that actually) was focused on what was about to transpire . . .

Kulit: What’s your article about?

HER: “Men Bullying Women”.

Kulit: ANO’NG KLASENG TOPIC YAN?! (Nag ‘alsa-boses’ bigla!)

ME: (Uh-oh . . .)

HER: Women’s Month ngayon, eh . . . Teka . . . Ba’t ka nagagalit? (Staying cool.)

Kulit: HINDI AKO GALIT!! (Mas malakas na ang boses ngayon.)

HER: (Tumaas ang kilay ng Bratinella – then with child-like impish little grin. . .) . . . You’re making dilat your eyes . . . all the veins on your neck are on ‘red-alert’ . . . wala kang volume control . . . hindi ka pa galit niyan?!

Kulit: HINDI!!

HER: H-e-l-l-o-o-o!! . . . Have you seen a mirror lately?! (Biglang naglabas nang mirror from her handbag!)

ME: (Naku po – talaga naman . . . Please, Bratinella – pagbigyan mo na si KULIT – at nang makaalis na tayo . . . Iwanan ko kaya kayong dalawa diyan, makita ninyo!)

Kulit: HRMPHHHH!!

HER: Ano ka? . . . Walking calling card? . . . Just because masungit na boss ka sa office – sa tingin mo boss rin kita at pwede ka rin biglang magsungit sa akin?? . . . Ha ha . . . (What a bully . . . )

Kulit: Hindi AKO bully – IKAW ang bully!! . . . Sana matapos na ang Women's Month na ito!

HER: Ngek! . . . Narinig ang side-comment ko . . . heh heh . . . Hoy - magdusa ka – ladies’ month ngayon – sorry ka! . . . Mwahaha!!

ME: (Ewan ko sa inyong dalawa . . . e heto ako sa gitna nyo . . . AKO ang nagdurusa!)

A classic example of how Bratinella handles stress – dinadaan lang niya sa naughty smile with matching famous laughter. Her HAPPINESS formula -- kaya flawless siya:

“Pag may nagagalit -- don’t take things personally . . . It’s NOT about you . . . Hindi sila galit sa inyo . . . Galit sila sa mundo . . . Mwahaha!”

Episode #10: Ang Labo Mo Naman!!

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 03:31:00 +0000

04 February 2010

I was down on all fours – peeking under the table – trying to unplug the laptop – not realizing that my big ‘rear-view’ was in full view to everyone in the resto . . .

HER: Ano ba?!? . . . WHAT are you doing?!? . . . Let the waiters do that na lang kasi!

ME: I'm okay . . . I’m not too fat to bend over . . . (Sexy naman ako ah . . . eh . . . 10 years ago . . . heh heh.)

HER: Well . . . uhmmm . . . . WHATEVER!! . . . (Hay naku – ang lakas ng imagination nito!)

We were still laughing at ourselves as I finally managed to yank the plug out of the socket . . .

The Bratinella had just delivered her seminar for entrepreneurs . . . Out-of-the-box . . . Unconventional . . . Straight-to-the-Point . . . Bulls-eye . . . Clear + Precise + Concise . . . PRACTICAL WISDOM . . . Usable + Do-Able!

As we chatted in her car, the Bratinella popped her favorite question . . .

HER: So . . . what are your insights from today?

ME: Kakaiba ka talaga . . . what a way to conduct a seminar!

HER: What do you mean??

ME: There was never a dull moment . . . especially every time you waved your Magic Wand . . . WINNER – ‘FGM’ FairyGodMother ka talaga!

HER: True! . . . I gotta use my magic wand on them . . . they’re s-o-o-o ‘utak tsubibo’!

ME: Mwahaha – funny ka – why ‘tsubibo’?

HER: Parang ferris wheel sa carnival . . . going in circles but getting nowhere!

ME: Pati nga ako nahilo eh . . . and I’m not even the trainor!!

HER: Kasi naman – akala nila if they memorize and recite their long jargonic materials they’ll get rich! . . . Ano yan – class recitation sa Mababang Paaralan ng Barrio Sprikitik?? . . . H-e-l-l-o-o-o-o-o . . . WAKE UP, PEOPLE! . . . That’s NOT the way to make money!

ME: Mwahaha!!

HER: Teka – mamaya ka na tumawa . . . meron pa!!

(Naku – nagumpisa na ang mommy koh . . .)

HER: Hoy, pay attention to me . . . Ano’ng tinatawatawa mo diyan, ? . . . As I was saying – they have powerpoint presentations with dancing lights and ‘zit-zat-zoot-wham-bang’ effects . . . They think that’s the magic formula?!?

(She was on a roll . . . I couldn’t stop her.)

HER: Information overload . . . nothing relevant - or significant - or remarkable - or memorable for the listeners . . . WALA – ‘buti pa they just hand out flyers and leave!

ME: Oo nga . . . parang “hmmm . . . nice, but I don’t need to buy it”.

HER: Ay naku . . . ANG LABO NILA! . . . ‘Projecting intelligent’ won’t turn their s-u-p-e-r-c-a-l-i-f-r-a-g-i-l-i-s-t-i-c-e-x-p-i-a-l-i-d-o-c-i-o-u-s words into MONEY!

ME: Right!

HER: And they’re not even credible . . . ‘In-Credible’ – parang they just want to get your money.

ME: Come to think of it . . .

HER: Simple lang yan Peter . . . People should be the showcase of what they’re selling . . . Like, if you're into skin care, dapat hindi ‘rocky road’ ang mukha mo!

ME: Flawless face . . . uy – like you! . . . heh heh . . . Diba that’s what they call you in your TV and Radio shows when the spotlights go ON? . . . ‘Nakasisilaw Na Puti . . . Kutis Porselana’ . . . . CONFIDENCE!

HER: Hehe . . . Your audience will DESIRE what you’re selling because they see it in you!

ME: That’s true . . . what a loser if someone is selling a Weight Loss program – but he’s 20 pounds overweight!

HER: Mwahahaha . . . BULLS-EYE ka diyan! . . . But you know, let’s help them . . . WE – that’s Me and You!

ME: Uy . . . BRATINELLA and ME? (Ayos . . . gusto ko ‘to!)

HER: YES . . . Ganito – let’s do this . . .

(Rolling her eyes - with matching cute pout on her cute lips . . .)

HER: Enough of theories . . . I will give entrepreneurs – and those who want to GO into Negosyo – my personal recipe for how to SHOW AND TELL what their products and services can do.

ME: You will give your secret away – talaga??

HER: Yes – why not!. . . “My CPC RECIPE: How To Be Clear, Precise and Concise”.

ME: Exciting . . . when?

HER: Soon – as in VERY SOON . . . if you like nga eh – NOW NA!

I can't wait for that to happen! How 'bout you?.... ABANGAN!

Episode #9: The Wife

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sat, 23 Jan 2010 09:47:00 +0000

23 January 2010

I was working on my PC . . . Wifey and our little princess were still awake, watching TV.

Riiiinnngggg! . . . Riiiinnngggg!

The silence of the night was suddenly broken . . . Our not-so-tiny-tot beat us to the phone.

As I watched her, I couldn't help but imagine what the Bratinella looked like at my child's age . . . Probably the same . . . Mwahahaha!

Moments later, she handed me the phone.

Princess: Dada!! . . . Girlfriend mo!

Me: Huh?!! (My suspicions were right . . . Bratinella-Jr in-the-making din ito!)

I cupped the receiver in my hands so that the Bratinella wouldn’t hear my comment.

Me: Sino’ng nagsabi girlfriend ko ‘to?

Princess: Si mommy . . .

I then caught a glimpse of wifey (with her finger to her lips) signaling little princess to keep quiet . . . Sheepishly, she smiled at me – looking as guilty as a child caught with her hand in the cookie jar!

After exactly TWO hours and 39 minutes, Bratinella and Me concluded our work.

I then turned my attention to wifey, who looked half-asleep in front of the TV, hands clutching the remote control.

Me: Sleep ka na?

Wifey: Hindi na . . . ginising mo ko eh . . .

Me: What was that with our little princess? . . . What "girlfriend" are you teaching her?

Wifey: Hrmphhh . . . you naman . . . joke lang yun . . .

Me: Selos ka?

Wifey: Hindi ah! . . . I know that's work naman eh . . . ikaw talaga . . .

Well, you couldn't blame her. . . WHO ELSE would call me in the dead of the night – and spend an hour or so (I take that back . . . more than two hours) on the phone?

Sino pa?? . . . Only the Bratinella – siempre!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Days went by . . . I observed wifey spending an unusual amount of time at my PC – watching excerpts from the Bratinella’s My Show and Tell CHANNEL on YouTube.

Every Tuesday at 6:30PM, she reminded me to watch Barangay Vivien on Internet TV . . . I was astonished at her fan-like admiration: “How nakasisilaw na puti and ‘flawless’ naman si Bratinella . . . and her voice is s-o-o-o nakakaakit!”

You could almost read the "?!?!?" on my face!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Riiiinnngggg! . . . Riiiinnngggg!

Predictably, the little princess was first to pick up the phone.

I saw her suspended in animated talk with the person on the other line . . . My eyes lit up when I saw her kissing the phone with tiny smacks . . .

Me: Who's that, baby?

Princess: ‘Tita Cute’ . . . (Bratinella’s code name).

Wifey took the phone . . . I expected her to hand it to me – but I was mistaken.

Bratinella and ME (oops – my mistake). . . Bratinella and wifey spent exactly TWO hours and 39 minutes (ALSO!?!?) in non-stop chatter – with giggles, squeaks and uncontrollable fits of laughter . . . I could only imagine what it was like on the other end of the line!

All this time, I was waiving my arms up in the air – almost screaming, “H-e-l-l-o-o-o . . . I'm here! . . . That call is for ME!!”

F-i-n-a-l-l-y, wifey handed me the phone . . . I was able to talk with the Bratinella.

Me: What was that all about?

Her: Girl-talk. . . . maybe – or maybe not – concerning you . . . Mwahahaha!

Me: What did you do to my wife?!? . . . She’s beginning to sound like you!!

Her: Harharhar! . . . Nagulat ka pa?? . . .Whad’ya expect?!! . . . I’m contagious! . . . Mwahaha!

Me: Ay sus!!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Will the Bratinella's CAPTIVATING CHARM and MAGNETIC APPEAL soon have a mesmerizing effect on the other members of my household too??

Hmmmmm . . . . . . . . . . .ABANGAN!

Episode #8: B.A.M. Working Session #1

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 12:52:00 +0000

15 January 2010

I hauled myself up the stairs to the internet shop at the 2^ndfloor (our meeting place) not really expecting what to expect (ngek! . . . ganyan kagulo ang utak ko that day!) . . . I was exasperated from all the horrid traffic on the way to our meeting – ayan, late tuloy ako!

It was my 2^nd time to visit the place with HER . . . but this time was our Working Session #1.

When I saw the place - I became medyo hesitant . . . kasi naman, it was big and kinda plush . . . Mga foreigner – and they shouldered past me – kasi naman, I was blocking the entrance!

I tried to find Bratinella . . .

HER: Yoohoo, I'm here ! ! !

Ay sus - there she was - seated comfortably - eh saan pa nga ba – eh di sa Cubicle #1 . . .She had her laptop set-up na . . . pero . . . teka . . . there was more stuff nakakalat on the table . . . My eyeballs almost popped out . . . (Grabe talaga itong FGM FairyGodMother ko!)

She was openly – obviously and obliviously – munching ‘chicharon’ (yung mortal sin na deadly - with laman!) . . . complete with crunchy sound effects for ALL the world to hear!

Hindi lang yun . . . she had even MORE in a big clear ‘supot’ on the table . . . PLUS she was ALSO sipping something that looked like tea - or juice . . . kaya lang – I almost fell off my seat when I found out – SANGRIA pala!

HER: O ano?!! . . . Join me - ask for a glass from the girl at the counter!

ME: Huh?

HER: And don't forget to ask for ice . . . tell them I'm the one who’s asking.

ME: Pwede ba yun??? . . . Well . . . ah . . . okaaaay.

Hesitatingly, I headed towards the cashier / counter / bar – and sheepishly asked for a glass . . . I told them I'm with HER (pointing a thumb at her direction) – and if they could please put some ice in the glass.

Girl: (All smiles – mukhang happy pa nga eh.) No problem po!!

She gave me a glass – filled with ice to the brim . . . I headed back to our cubicle . . .

As SHE poured the not-so-hidden ‘beverage’ into my glass, I couldn't help but ask . . .

ME: How do you get away with this? . . . They have their own mini-resto – and they offer their own specialty food – and they sell drinks, diba? . . . Okay lang sa kanila ito?

HER: Ha! Ha! Ha! . . . Oo naman – I share it pa nga with them eh!

Bratinella strikes again!

HER: I told you – this is my turf! . . . I make them happy naman with my ‘vivienisms’ and ‘motherly’ advice – ang aking mga W.O.W. Moments = Words of Wizdumb!

We giggled as we worked . . . as giggly* as 2 irrepressible juvenile delinquents who ought to be sent to the principal’s office!

*NOT so much from the mid-afternoon super sarap sangria (ahem – from Spain – 1.5 LITER lang naman ang size ng bote – hindi naman obvious, no? . . . mwahaha!)

*NOR from the cholesterol-laden snack we were munching.

Hmmm . . . we were just happy being naughty - hehe . . .

We worked on our BratinellaAndMe website . . . agreeing on the perfect graphics, perfect colors and perfect fonts . . . siempre – para ferpek – ehek – PERFECT!

HER: Hey! . . . Wala ka nang ice . . . wait - I'll get more . . .

Before I could protest - or make a single squeak - she had sprinted off to the counter - carrying both our 2 empty glasses . . . A moment later she came back – both glasses filled to the brim with more ice!

ME: Mwaaaahahahaha! . . . Saan ka makakakita ng ganito -- we're eating our own food... drinking our own beverage... using THEIR glasses and THEIR ice... and they're all more than happy pa to assist us!

HER: That's what my the effect of my ‘trademark charm’ can do! . . . Mwahahaha!

We were almost finished with our B.A.M. Working Session #1 – when an irresistibly delicious smell wafted from the kitchen (behind the counter) . . . The scent filled our noses – and our imagination . . . Drool, drool, drool!!!

HER: Ang daya daya naman nila -- sinasadya nila yan ha! . . . They opened their kitchen door so we’d get hungry when we smell their food!

Totoo nga – ang bango talaga ng luto nila! . . . Foreigner pa nga ang cook eh!!

ME: Hehehe . . . Ikaw naman, siguro that's their ‘tactic’ to make people order!

HER: Hay naku! . . . Let’s go na lang – before we get seduced into ordering – as if naman our ‘pigures’ could afford to input more calories . . . H-E-L-L-O-O-O-O-O!!

ME: Mwaaahahahaha!

And THAT – ladies and gentlemen – boys and girls – has become a TYPICAL working session for BRATINELLA and ME!

. . . . . WAIT 'TIL YOU HEAR MORE!

Episode #7: A Look At The Road Ahead

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 07:47:00 +0000

07 January 2010

Honk! Honk!

I signaled “SANDALI LANG PO!" to the now-angry drivers of the cars behind us.

E kasi naman – we were right smack in the middle of the road . . . She – hands on the steering wheel . . . Me – standing outside the car, peering through the driver's-side window.

Our meeting had just ended . . . We had spent the entire afternoon poring through the parts and components of her sparkling-new Christmas gift: a fantastic Portable Recording Studio!

This state-of-the-art avant-garde equipment is what we’re now going to use to record her very own PODCASTS – as well as those for her many clients now lined up for her super-personalized world-class services!

We were just about to go on our own separate ways . . . when a light bulb suddenly blinked ‘ON’ in my mind.

Me: Wait . . . wait! (I was tapping at her side window.)

Her: What!?! (Rolling down the glass . . .Ngek -- it got stuck halfway down!)

Me:         I just realized something . . .

Her:        What nga?!

Honk! Honk!

Me: Naku! . . . They might get angry . . . We're blocking the road. (Gesturing at the car drivers glaring at me.)

Her: Don't mind them . . . This is MY barangay, remember? . . . What?

Me: For 17 years, I worked as an Engineer – before I called it quits . . . In the past year, I changed my cards.

Her: You’re telling me that in the middle of the road??

Me: Diba I'm working my way up as a professional writer now . . . and I’m trying my hand at entrepreneurship . . .

Her: You are causing traffic just to tell me THAT?!?!

Me: Teka . . . Hindi eh . . . I just want to tell you . . . I met a lot of people this year who said: “Wow… sige… mag entrep ka… kaya mo yan!” . . . Pero none of them made an impact on me like you did!

Her: Aba, good! . . . You know naman – I believe people meet for a Higher Purpose . . . Remember: there are no mistakes in the Universe!

Me: (Smiling to the max!)

Her: (Sigh . . .) I’ve tried helping so many others before you . . . ay naku, I wasted so many precious hours, days, weeks -- and even months -- on those characters . . . but it looks like you’re finally IT!

Me: Wow, Thanks ! ! !

Her: Sige, let’s set-up the Portable Recording Studio na! . . . I’ve also got a video-cam . . . Let’s include video na rin – para yung mga MAGIC MOMENTS like these ma-capture din natin!

Me: YES! YES! (Grabe . . . I was so excited – I almost forgot about the cars lined up behind us – angry drivers all honking away!)

Her: Let’s produce PODCASTS . . . and also TELEVISION on INTERNET!

Me: W-O-W ! ! !

Her: Ano . . . are you ready for this?

Me: I sure am!! . . . I claim it now! . . . Ang galing ng ROAD AHEAD natin for 2010!

Her: Great! . . . LOOK with FAITH in your HEART . . . BELIEVE + AFFIRM + CLAIM that 2010 is an EXCITING and HAPPY year FOR YOU!

And for ALL of YOU – our faithful READERS too ! ! !

Episode #6: The Year That Was

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 12:39:00 +0000

05 January 2010

Her: Remember... NO SAD STORIES... ayoko pag-usapan ang mga negative at mga problema...

That jolted me from my train of thoughts.

I was already preparing a litany of woes in my mind... past misfortunes that I would like the world to hear. (Naghahanap ng ka-damay, perhaps? ...I don't know.)

But she would not have any of that... She only wanted to hear about what I LEARNED from those mishaps -- and how I rebounded.

Her: Okay, ganito na lang... What did you learn from that experience?

I was scammed for a few thousand dollars… I left my Engineering job for an opportunity in Canada -- that I later found out was non-existent.

(And you want to hear what I learned from all that?? …Incredible!!!)

Me: Well... I stopped grumbling and picked myself up.

Her: And then?

Me: I started writing.

Her: So?

Me: I had to earn a living... and I got that from writing articles for websites and blogs... I started small at first --a few dollars per article... Then I finally entered the BIG LEAGUE -- and was earning like a PRO… all in the span of ONE YEAR!

Her: See? …You wouldn't have discovered your hidden talents if you continued grumbling about your mishaps.

Me: YES! YES! (I was getting so excited.) Aside from that -- my network and circle of influence grew... I met a lot of significant people… Heck -- I met you! … and now I'm a guest in your TV show for the second time!

Her: You see Peter, if you really learn how to be grateful for the circumstances you find yourself in... and LEARN how to give POSITIVE AFFIRMATION and THANKSGIVING... the Heavens will conspire in your favor -- and everything will fall into its proper place!

Me: Yes! …I see that now!

Her: The next question is -- are you READY for the Road Ahead?

Me: I sure am! …Clear, Precise and Concise -- I just need to focus, focus, focus... and if I lose my sense of direction once in a while - my FairyGodMother... that's YOU -- will knock some sense into me!

Her: Twwwiinnnggg!!! (waving her MAGIC WAND at me!)

2010... HERE WE COME... an exciting road ahead indeed!!!

Episode #5: The Foundation

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 08:02:00 +0000

22 December 2009

Hay naku . . . you should really learn how to ‘arrange’ the food correctly when you serve the Bratinella.

The staff at the restaurant where we ate learned it -- the hard way -- when she ordered lamb shawarma ‘divorced-style’.

Her: Favor naman, Miss, DON’T put the stuff INTO the pita bread ha! . . . Put the bread in a basket, -- cover it to make sure it stays warm . . . Then put all the ingredients on a plate – separate by batch: lamb, lettuce, tomato, onion . . . And make sure it looks nice and attractive on the plate . . . Arrange it nicely naman . . . yun naka-design, heh heh.

PLUS . . . she specified that ALL the veggies be fresh – and newly sliced.

Me: Ah ewan ko sa iyo . . . basta ako, I will eat my shawarma the usual way – yung everything inside the pita bread.

Our orders arrived . . . and with just one look at her plate – she immediately knew that the meat was as cold as a dead lamb.

Her: Ah miss . . . Malamig na yung karne . . . Ayan o, the taba is yucky na . . . Paki heat naman, pwede?

Me: Looks okay naman a . . .

I continued to munch my way through my roll of meat, shawarma juices dribbling from the corners of my mouth.

She called the waitress again.

Her: Sana hiniwa muna yung veggies - bago niluto ang meat . . . para pag luto na ang meat – perfect ang timing pag serve!

Her (again): Ano nga pala yung format ng ‘BratinellaAndMe’ natin? . . . You’ve seen me in my shows . . . Viewers love the way I spontaneously react to what the guests say . . . So, ikaw ang mauuna.

Me: Ah, okey . . . I write something – and then you react . . . I put in my side-comments in “thought bubbles” . . . and then you react -- parang nababasa mo yung utak ko.

Her: Great! . . . We exchange insights . . . and then we end each post with Life Lessons.

Me: Uy . . . ganda niyan . . . I provide the structure and opening salvo . . . and you add the flavor and language.

Her: Yeah . . . you’re the ‘cake’ . . . and I’m the ‘icing’.

Me: You will be the ‘bukayo’ to my ‘biko’ – para Pinoy ang dating!

Her: Haha . . . oo nga 'no? . . . Sige, I will add the W.O.W. . . . Words of WizDumb . . . eheh, este, Wisdom pala!

Me: Hehehe . . . ‘WizDumb’ . . . I like that!

Her: Yeah . . . for me, WizDumb simply means Life Lessons that I learned from the many bloopers in my life . . . I’ve had my share of boo-boo’s . . . I hope people will learn from my mistakes . . . para hindi na nila pagdaanan pa . . .

Me: Wow . . . and I thought I knew it all na!

And so . . . the foundation for BratinellaAndMe was established . . .

I could hardly wait for our next encounter . . . Join me in my journey!

Episode #4: Bratinella Rising – the Birth of an Unlikely Tandem

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 01:26:00 +0000

21 December 2009

The music was blaring.

She flashed her PWD* card at hapless waiters and restaurant managers. (Ay naku . . . that’s another story for another day!) They graciously offered to turn the volume down...

(Actually, she gets ANYTHING she wants – even without that card!)

*PWD = Person With Disability

ME: How do you do that? People are actually laughing and smiling . . . they’re happily serving and treating you like a well-deserving princess.

She answered with a child-like impish little grin– and a sparkle in her eyes.

HER: Well… I’m not called a BRATINELLA for nothing, heh heh!

And then she turned on me . . .

She wanted to know everything about me – as a writer and as a blogger.

HER: Hey Peter… let’s make a TALKING BLOG!

She had this idea:

Convergence. . . Collaboration. . . combine my writing skills with her talk-show expertise – come up with a blog that would showcase the best of both worlds.

HER: Let’s discuss the type of blog we will have. You know -- the personality, slant, style, etc.

ME: Well, we can talk about almost anything under the sun... as long as wholesome siya at makakatulong sa mga readers... For ‘general consumption’, ika nga…

HER: For general consumption? Teka -- consumption as in ‘consume me'?!? Yikes -- that sounds kinky naman!

ME: Ha! Ha! Ha! Sabi na’ng wholesome tayo noh! (out-of-this-world talaga ang imagination nitong si tisay!)

ME (again): Teka, what should we name our blog? (Ako professional – engineer ... but I’m willing to learn Life Lessons from you!

HER: E di ganito… Simple lang yan… BRATINELLA AND ME… That’s our blog…

ME: BRATINELLA AND ME . . . hmmm – I like that!

Thus began the unlikely tandem . . . She with HER insights – me with MINE . . .

Both of us willing to share LIFE LESSONS with YOU in this new journey.

Episode #3: Ang Makulit

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 08:02:00 +0000

11 December 2009

I was right smack in the middle of an MLM presentation when my cell phone started ringing wildly Hrmph… I never turn my cell phone off during meetings (feeling ‘sutil’ heh heh).

I hurriedly stepped outside the room… Aaarrrggghhhh – it was SHE calling me again!

ME: Oh, Ma’am Vivien…. Napatawag po kayo?... I’m in the middle of a seminar po (at istorbo ka sa bagong raket ko noh… )

HER: I want to know more about your magazine.

She was brilliant and extremely witty – particularly with her idea of giving Tips & Tools – ‘TT’ for short – on how to help doctors and patients communicate more clearly.

The idea of adding a funny and informative aspect to the magazine tickled my fancy… I offered her a column as a regular feature writer.

But then – what she said next caught me completely off-guard.

HER: Make me your assistant in the magazine na lang.

ME: Anoh? …Ikaw? …Assistant ko? (Nge… ayoko nga…. masyadong makulit… heheh.)

Her tone changed afterwards… and I clearly felt the intensity of what she said next…

I suddenly had my first taste of her wisdom… VIVIENISMS.

HER: You know what, Peter… I don’t know why some people find me makulit… I’m just being CPC*. What folks here see as ‘makulit’ is just the norm abroad…

I was speechless… The impact of what she had just said suddenly struck me like a bolt of lightning.

I REALIZED SHE WAS RIGHT… and that I’ve been harboring the same, wrong conditioning all my life.

Whew! . . . What a rude awakening . . . and that was just the beginning!

* CPC = Clear + Precise + Concise

Episode #2: theTALKmaster

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 14:56:00 +0000

09 December 2009

She was late… we had started our meeting by the time she arrived.

Everyone had delivered the ‘Elevator Pitch’ as a way of introducing himself, his business, and who his target customers were.

Every single person at the meeting seemed to freeze in time – as eyes turned to her direction.

SHE who wordlessly strode towards the head of the table with an regal air of both enigma and confidence befitting VIP's.

“Sino siya?!” (Most people who come in late do NOT have the guts to sit in front – much less at the HEAD of the table!)

ME: Good morning po, Ma’am. Since you’re late, could you kindly introduce yourself – so that others can find out who you are – and what you do? (At paki-bilisan noh… late ka naman kasi… ISTORBO!)

HER: Hello, my name is Vivien... I am theTALKmaster… Creative Director / Producer and Talk-Show Host of 'SHOW & TELL'… I am also the Founder of EduTrainMent Learning Services – where we learn best in moments of enjoyment! My goal is to help you learn how to be CPC: Clear, Precise and Concise!

ME: Thank you po, Miss Vivien…. That was very Clear, Precise and Concise (hehehe, nanakaw ko yung tagline mo noh!) Now, let’s proceed with our agenda. . .

The meeting continued as designated presenters for the day talked (actually, boringly bragged) about what their products allegedly could do….

During those moments, I kept stealing glances at 'theTALKmaster'… I was trying to decode her body language…

I noticed the particular way she listened – with full attention – to each of the presenters.

I could sense that she was holding back on something . . . something very, very important that I would soon realize . .

Episode #1: The Phone Call That Started It All

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 02:48:00 +0000

08 December 2009

It was not long ago that I found myself working into oblivion. I was desperately trying to get clients in… but it was just like an exercise in futility.

The economy was in a downturn… and everything seemed bleak and murky – like the cup of cold coffee that I kept stirring on my table.

Little did I know that my life was about to change at that moment… Another working of the Powers that be?

(The phone rang.)

ME: Hello?

HER: Good afternoon. I’d like to speak to Peter.

ME: Speaking! ( Uuy! Sana customer!)

HER: My name is Vivien – and your boss told me to talk to you about your club meeting. I need some details.

ME: Oh – okay. (Shucks… istorbo!)

I was met by a barrage of questions… and I could hardly answer properly. I was trying real hard to NOT sound exasperated – or annoyed!

The questions kept coming. I barely managed to give my answers – most of which were fabricated, by the way.

I tried to keep that annoying little voice at bay. (Hrmph… ‘Little?’ Mali yata!)

ME: Ganito, ma’am... punta na lang po kayo sa event – and you’ll know more in full detail. (Sige na, sus! Para matapos na ‘to... GRRR!)

HER: Listen, Peter. I just wanna know what to expect at the meeting.

ME: Yun nga po… it’s hard to explain on the phone. Mas maganda po, punta na lang kayo. (GRRR – pupunta pa akong grocery noh!) Ay… sandali po… sorry po… gotta go… I have a meeting to attend pala! Bye po!

I could barely hear her reply as I hung up the phone. (Haaay salamat… natapos din!)

I was hoping that she wouldn’t even bother to show up at our meeting. (Hindi namin kailangan ng ganyan kakulit noh… sus!)

At that time, I thought I was doing the right thing... by shutting her up – and putting her in her place… But... little did I know that I was completely wrong.

Because I'd just hung up on the only person who could teach me exactly WHAT I needed to boost my business… and HOW to be the real entrepreneur that I could be… the REAL DEAL.

What Is This Place Anyway?

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 02:47:00 +0000

08 December 2009

The lighter side of life as BRATINELLA and ME travels through our individual lives viewing people, places and events from totally different -- and often opposite -- perspectives.

Laugh, chuckle and giggle as we share our episodes, bloopers and unintentional mishaps with you.

FUNNY IMAGE ARCHIVES

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 08:28:00 +0000