Bravery Project

Artbook: Voices of Freedom

2011-10-18T13:10:00.001-07:00

Does Bravery Project sell the art work?
Do you make and sell prints?
Can I get a copy of this piece?
You should make an art book!

These are the kinds of responses we get from visitors to our art exhibits and it's an encouraging aspect of our work. Not only do the stories touch people's lives, but the art inspires people and encourages them to take a little piece of Bravery Project home.

We have launched the art book fundraiser online just for this purpose. Our budget does not provide for the publishing expense and physical books are very expensive to publish these days! For this reason, we are giving you the best options by offering "Bravery Project: Voices of Freedom" as an e-book and a printed book in both English and Spanish.

We ask for your support in helping us raise the funds needed to make this happen. In turn, the funds we make from the book sales will go towards giving another survivor a voice to keep our work going. For every painting created there is another voice waiting to be heard. Through supporting this art book project, you will help bring the message of Bravery to the world.

Mother's Red Dress

2011-06-09T14:31:00.000-07:00

I was recently contacted by independent filmmaker, John Paul Rice, who is also President of No Restrictions Entertainment. With a super busy schedule and heart and passion the size of Texas, Mr. Rice has chosen to use his professional talents to pursue quality movies with a social issue message.

Mr. Rice and writer/director, Edgar Michael Bravo are working on feature film, Mother's Red Dress. They describe it as, "A tragic love story, the film deals with the effects of domestic violence, abuse and mental illness. The message of the film is that the denial of trauma causes mental dysfunction. We created a film based on the hope that the main character would possibly begin his road to recovery once he faced the truth of his past.

The story is inspired by people we know and from our own personal experiences."

Mother's Red Dress is in post production phase and requires community support to complete the process of visual effects, colorizing, sound, and other details needed for release to the public. This is your chance to do a small thing to make a big impact:

• Share the trailor with others.
• Make a donation. For every $3.00 donated in support of finishing the film, you can download the entire film before it's released to the public.
• See the movie.
• Talk to your friends and family.

I get emails from our blogs, asking how one can help reduce domestic violence. This is a prime example. Mr. Rice, Mr. Bravo and Bravery Project have the same vision to increase public awareness about abuse so that we are all empowered to create social change. Furthermore, once the film is released to the public, they will donate portions of the proceeds to domestic violence organizations. For less than the cost of a Vente Latte coffee, your $3 donation will allow this awareness to reach millons of people and support charities doing good work. Your $3 donation could literally save lives.

Support Mother's Red Dress
More about John Paul Rice
More about Edgar Michael Bravo
No Restrictions Entertainment
Mother's Red Dress on Facebook

Victim's Rights Week

2011-04-28T18:21:00.000-07:00

Victim's Rights Week is over and as before, it was a tremendous honor to participate in events with our artwork. Every year, Arizona State University provides a wonderful forum for guest speakers and community participants to come and learn more about legislative efforts, lessons from real stories, and to meet some movers and shakers who are working hard to promote the rights of victims. Interesting that we have this movement in the first place until you take a look at the legal system. Touted as one of the best in the world because a defendent is "innocent until proven guilty," the due process makes for many rights for perpetrators in an effort to prevent real innocents from prosecution. The victims who suffer the consequences of a crime are left to their own devices. Don't believe me however, talk to someone who has lost a loved one from a homicide or trying to put a life back together after identity theft has left them bankrupt. Not easy.

Remembering the victims from the Tucson Shooting.

Things are changing thanks to groups like the FBI Victim Assistance, Victim Services with the Attorney General's Office, Victim Advocates with the Police Department, and organizations like Against Abuse and countless other groups. Many of these folks were victims themselves and have chosen to help others because no one will do it for us if we don't come together as a community. Another lesson? Don't think a crime can't happen because, heaven forbid, you may find yourself in the middle of picking the pieces of your life. At least you know there are understanding people out there for you to lean on and THAT is something that no criminal can take away.

Crime Victim's Rights by State

Girl Scouts Are Much More Than Cookies

2011-03-15T15:16:00.000-07:00

Once a year, it happens. Checking the calendar daily and salivating during many day dreams of biting into a favorite Girl Scout Cookie. I'm definitely guilty of it. Thin Mints and Do Si Dos are the cryptonite my diet.

Aside from scrumptious treats, The Girl Scouts turn out to be much more than I had anticipated. An invitation to speak and show art at the Girl Scout Arizona Cactus-Pine event for Women's History Month educates me on this amazing nonprofit. Most people know about the Girl Scouts, but may not realize that Arizona Cactus-Pine serves roughly 2/3rds of Maricopa County or 24,568 girls. They also have programs for underpriveledged girls and those living in unique circumstances.

Just Us Social Programs offer special programs for girls who need a nurturing environment with positive role models and to learn the skills of success. For instance, Girl Scouts Beyond Bars provides for girls with incarcerated mothers. Scouting in Detention Centers provides girls, living in detention facilities, with mentoring within the facility and a program after leaving the facility. Girl Scouts Baby Camp provide pregnant and parenting teenage mothers with a weekend to learn valuable resources and skills to help them through the rigors of parenthood. GS GEMS: Girl Scouts- Girls Education Empowering and Mentoring with Support provides girls who have been human trafficked with the much needed support to break the silence and increase awareness about this preventable issue.

I am honored to be sharing Bravery Project artwork and speaking at a Leadership Salon to celebrate Women's History Month at the Girl Scouts Arizona Cactus-Pine event on Wed, March 16th. This is free and open to the public. I hope to see you there to support this wonderful organization.

RSVP to our event with Girl Scouts

Don't compete...Collaborate

2011-02-18T17:19:00.000-07:00

The economy is very tough on all of us, especially nonprofit organizations. I distinctly remember when trying to give away free sponsored tickets to another nonprofit to get at-risk kids at one of our awareness events, they refused to tell anyone because our event was too close to thier fundraiser event. In a tough economy, the mission to serve gets replaced with the mission to receive.

Upset at the time, I don't hold it against them, because panic mode is completely understandable when trying to stay alive during a recession. However, we have found that collaboration with other organizations can fill these expense niches and build strong relationships that focus on a common cause, which is why we passionate community members got involved in tough social causes in the first place.

For example, Bravery Project has been so blessed to receive the generosity of office space from a nonprofit agency, Jewish Family and Children Services. We are placed next to a program that focuses on the same goal of reducing abuse in the community and are finding even more ways to collaborate. This is the future of making a difference in the community...working together. It produces resources far richer than money.

Back in the Game

2011-01-23T13:03:00.000-07:00

So much has happened since the last post. After a little haitus from blogging, we are once again reaching out to you, the online community.

In a nutshell, Bravery Project had a back off period to regroup the Board of Directors, revisit our Bylaws, Mission and Vision and we are on a roll! Our programs are successful enough that we now have a brick and morter office in downtown Phoenix accompanied with all the accessories we could ever need as a growing grassroots nonprofit.

Our website has been (still being) revised into a more professional, interactive, user friendly experience. We will be ramping up our newsletters, events, programs, and online community. Please take a look at our new design and share.

Stay tuned because we are back in the game!

New Projects - New Year

2009-11-23T07:18:00.007-07:00

This year has been a real blessing for myself and for Bravery Project. We have over 30 art pieces with several more in the works, 18 art exhibits, our first out of state show, 2 fundraisers, 2 speaking engagements, raised 2 scholarships, and a growing group of wonderful volunteers on our board and office. In just a little over 2 years this organization that began as just an idea at a dinner conversation has become much more than I had imagined. The results thus far have been from me working 7 days a week with the help of dedicated volunteers. This new year, I want to bring the growth from our team to yours.

We are launching three new programs:

1. Bravery Project Scholars: Our program, currently with 2 $1,000 scholarships, is modeled after other successful programs, which means that we have done our homework. We have two separate committee teams for the unique application and selection process. Our funds will be offered to survivors and at-risk youth who are in transitional housing programs. The application will be available in January and funds dispersed for Fall 2010 and Spring 2011.

2. The Community Connection Newsletter: Over the past two years, I have found significant resources available for survivors to rebuild their lives, yet the information is fragmented and hidden among the millions of websites. Our newsletter will pull the resources together in one place as well as provide interviews with companies involved in the cause, nonprofits who are effective, an answer database and so much more. This is a free newsletter that will go directly to your mailbox every quarter. Preview the newsletter and subscribe.

3. The Bravery Project online community: We were donated an entire membership program that will enable us to build our own exclusive community of followers who want to stay in touch with us, network together, and have a SAFE and moderated place to communicate. There will be many great features offered in the future for our members. There is a FREE version and a paid version. To become a paid member is simply a $25 tax exempt donation to Bravery Project via Paypal or check to receive special benefits. Join here.

Funding has been a challenge, but we are looking for sustainable ways to support our programs. One such way is through our yearly membership. We hope that you will enjoy what we have to offer, help us mold the information for your needs, spread the word, and enjoy the benefits of our programs into 2010 and beyond!

Economy and Collaboration

2009-10-17T15:04:00.005-07:00

The past several months have been very difficult for all nonprofits (we seem to have a rather large number of them in Arizona). Stronger competition for grant money, attendees to fundraiser events, and sponsorship has many of them scrambling to find the funding needed to continue goods and services. As a new organization, this has been a valuable learning experience for us.

It is essential that the efforts of an organization remain focused on the mission of service to people and one way to do this is partnering with another nonprofit who has a similar focus. That is how our past fundraiser, Karma Cups: An Uplifting Affair with NATN, and our upcoming fundraiser, Evenin g of the Arts with FTH, is structured. By combining efforts and splitting proceeds with another organization, the mission gets to reach twice as many people, donors, and sponsors than before.

Unfortunately, some organizations don't see it this way and yes, have flat out said NO we will not work with you or promote your event because we have our own fundraiser coming up. This is a mistake because the priority focus becomes the money over the mission.

The next time you attend an event with tickets that cost $100, $300 or more, ask yourself how often that organization works together with other like minded organizations. Are they self serving? Do they produce results claimed in their mission? Find out how much of that money goes to salary and overhead vs the program services. You can find out the information from the local Secretary of State/Charities Division. If the organization you wish to support is a tax exempt 501c3, then all financials are public record.

At Bravery Project, we talk consistently about involving the community and working together to increase awareness to reduce domestic abuse. We encourage you to find charities that do the same no matter what the cause: hunger, homelessness, animal services, etc.

Here is an example:

Evening of the Arts is a partnership between Bravery Project and Fix the Hurt. We are splitting proceeds and 100% will go to program services while 0% will go to salaries. We are encouraging people who can't attend the event to sponsor a pair of tickets to Big Brother/Big Sister and Boys/Girls Club teens/mentors to attend so that we can offer our message of domestic violence prevention to at risk youth. By collaboration, we are working with 4 different organizations and hitting some hot spots by reaching out to young people. It's a win-win for everyone.

Secretary of State/Charities Division (Arizona)
Evening of the Arts
Bravery Project
Fix the Hurt
NATN

NOVA

2009-09-06T07:19:00.007-07:00

When someone has lost a family member to violent crime or has experienced a crime, whether it be rape, identity theft, or domestic violence for instance, that person figures out a way to cope through a convoluted and painful process of the legal system, but only IF the prosecution gets that far.

A good percentage of people are left with the financial and emotional damages of the crime and try to put it behind them as they transition from victim to survivor, at least physically speaking. A small percentage light the torch of justice and faith to become the most tenacious advocates for human and victim rights with a compassion, understanding, and desire to change a system that has grown to favor the criminal.

National Organization for Victim Assistance (NOVA) is comprised primarily of survivors who have chosen the unglamorous, unpopular, behind-the-scenes work of victim advocacy. This is not a field for the faint-hearted, but for those who's passion to help others and build legal change supersede the desire for wealth and easy living. It is a constant struggle of finding funds to continue work and balancing emotions. The rewards are not monetary, they are an inner peace knowing that a difference has been made in a person's life. (Read the Starfish Story)

This last week was the 35th Anniversary of NOVA and a celebration of longevity and change as dignitaries like Former US Attorney Diane J. Humetewa, talked about her beginnings of victim advocacy in the court, which did not exist 20 years ago. Much has changed, but there is still much work to accomplish. So many survivors in Bravery Project claimed the same, explaining that there were no shelters where they lived during the 80's and domestic violence awareness was nonexistant.

The ability for people to reach out and find or make government positions on behalf of victims or to begin grassroots organizations, tailored to a specific niche in the field is one of the beautiful and amazing examples of human resilience and freedom that people possess. Although it feels like swimming against a rising tide and the undertow of bureaucracy and apathy threatens to pull us under, let us never give up on the field of victim's rights. When injustice happens, don't sit back and accept it, but expose it and create solutions to fill those gaps; this is the way of a victim advocate. As a mere artist, I know it works because I've heard it repeatedly in survivor stories from Bravery Project. Someone, somewhere gave a hand to a victim and showed them the way. To all of you who are lighting the torches of others, no amount or task is too small or insignificant and I salute you.

These are just a few of the organizations at the NOVA conference that were started by concerned citizens.

Parents of Murdered Children
National Organization of Victims of "Juvenile Lifers"
International Cruise Victims
Gabriel's Angels
WBJ Press
Ministry of Justice, Republic of Korea
Voice for Victims
Citizens Against Homicide
TACT (Thorough Assault Case Tracking)
Vine Link

Child Abuse Blues

2009-08-15T06:56:00.005-07:00

A disturbing story was shared with me during a breakfast meeting about a 3 1/2 year old little girl. Her parents are divorced and she is shared between them on a weekly basis. In addition to the stress caused from an unstable home, she is acting out and not in a good way. There is a difference between when kids are upset, depressed and become beligerent, but her behavior is demonstrated in a sexual nature that is far beyond what a 3 year old should know.

What does a parent do if a child exhibits unnatural behavior...what do you do if you see something that is clearly unhealthy? Child abuse is a social issue that can be prevented, but everyone must get involved. Many of the survivors in the portrait series were abused as kids first before falling prey to an adult predator. They overcame as adults, but as helpless children, the scars remain. So as an individual and a parent how do we help these kids? The following points were given to me by a counselor who deals with numerous cases just like this one; now I am passing her advice on to you.

1. Pay attention to the child's behavior. This is obvious right? It's important to know the difference between natural body exploration and acting out sexually.

2. Report it to CPS or another authority that handles these cases. SUPER important. If you work for a school, for instance, it is mandatory that you report what you see. As a parent this is a challenge because of the investigation, but the crime MUST be documented in order to prosecute. It's harder for the abuser to win in court when he has to fight all first-hand witnesses rather than just the parent trying to protect her child.

3. Get counseling immediately. A child at the point of acting out is in a critical emotional state that must be addressed. She has to learn how to deal with her feelings. We are not talking once a month here, but weekly. If kids don't get this support to help them sort out their emotions, then they can decline into worse behavior and become perpetrators.

4. Remove the child from the questionable surroundings. This may seem obvious, but isn't always easy to do. In the case of this mother, she is going through the proper channels of reporting and trying to get sole custody of her daughter, but she is also fighting prejudices in the court system. Aside from kidnapping charges, she is doing everything she can by researching her options.

5. Support the parent. As an individual, whether a friend or relative, it's imperative that you support her efforts to continue forward through legal channels. From the outside, we may think, she isn't doing enough or we think we would do something different, like deal with kidnapping charges just to protect the child if that's what it takes. Realistically, we don't really know what we would do unless we have been there. Offer her support, i.e. ask her if there is anything you can do to help her like some research or make a phone call. Ask any victim how hard it is just to come forward about abuse, let alone go through a slow and frustrating court system.

This one is my own assessment from working with survivors.

6. Be warned about your denial. If you are a parent and know your child is being abused (yes this happens too often), you must remember that your denial for whatever reason: financial hardship, fear of retaliation, fear of death, fear of losing custody, etc. the pain your kid is going through will come back to haunt you. For a temporary comfort, the damage you receive as a parent who loves her child plays back tenfold as the guilt you feel in your older years. I have seen this time and again in the stories from Bravery Project. There are resources and people who are trained to help you and your child.

Remember you are not alone.

Office for Victims of Crime: Child Abuse
National Hotline Numbers
Child Help

Charities You Should Know About

2009-08-08T13:55:00.008-07:00

During the journey of service, we meet wonderful individuals who are using their skills to benefit communities. I want to share a few of them, and encourage you to get in touch with these people to see how you can get involved. Most of all, share the information with others; that is the best way to promote someone wonderful--through your trusted recommendation.
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Brokers For Charity
I found out about this wonderful organization through word of mouth and discovered they are raising funds for charities through commercial and residential real estate transactions. As a referral service, Brokers for Charity refers real estate deals to quality agents and then gives a portion of the referral fee to the charity chosen by the agent. This is a FREE referral service for agents, which means that this is a monetary win-win for everyone.
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Bosom Buddy Bra Recycling
I met this wonderful lady at an E-women Network business luncheon. Her company recycles bras from all over the country. They gather old, used, unused bras and pick out the best ones to donate to women's shelters. The rest get sent to factories out of the country for recycling. The metal and plastic bits are pulled out and melted down; the fabric is made into rags that get reused in various products. A true green company with a huge heart. I have the pleasure of collaborating with them in our upcoming fundraiser: Karma Cups: An Uplifting Affair next month. I hope you will come and bring your unused bras. If you have a nonprofit that needs bras or wants to do fundraising, you must contact Bosom Buddy Bra Recycling.
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Hope fo r Women Arts
This is an art therapy program started by one of the survivors from Bravery Project, Joyce White. Hope for Women Arts is partnered with Arizona Art Alliance, which provides the art materials for volunteer teachers to teach a art classes in domestic violence shelters. If you are an artist, contact them about doing a volunteer teaching class. It's a great way to give back.
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Purple Ribbon Council
This grassroots, volunteer led organization has several wonderful programs, including the Purple Ribbon Children's Fund for kids who have lost a parent to homicide. They have several fund raising events, such as Girls Night Out, across the US that you can attend to help them raise funds that go toward prevention programs and awareness.
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International

Pixel Project
This is an example of finding a grassroots organization via social media. I met up with these people on Twitter and then Facebook. Their volunteer based group runs across four continents to promote ending violence against women on a global scale. Their goal is to raise US$1 million (or more) for Malaysia's Women's Aid Organisation (http://www.wao.org.my) and the U.S.A.'s National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (http://www.ncadv.org) during the biggest global recession ever (according to Alan Greenspan) by taking fund-and-awareness raising into the 21st Century.
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Bell Bajao
This is another social media networking win. Based out of India and New York, Bell Bajao and Breakthrough are an international human rights group that encourages the public to stand against domestic violence. They use the power of popular culture to send messages that domestic violence is not acceptable. In our Purple Ribbon Study Circles, we discussed the need for a media blitz to get the message out to as many people as possible...this organization can provide an example of just that.

Upcoming Events

2009-08-01T07:37:00.007-07:00

We have some upcoming events that might be of interest. You can even participate from out of state! Instead of just asking for a donation to keep us alive during this tough economy, we are offering you something wonderful in return for your support.
_______________________________________

September 26th 4-8pm
Karma Cups: An Uplifting Affair
Featuring the Bra-Vogue Contest and Fashion Show
This kid-friendly event is a collaboration between Bravery Project, NATN, and Bosom Buddy Bra Recycling. Donate a bra and get 50% off your ticket. Decorate a bra and send in for the $200 1st place price. The best bras will be modeled in the fashion show. We are still accepting sponsors for this event. Tickets and information can be viewed online!

Funds from this event, will help keep our organizations running.

Need some bra ideas?

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November 9th 6-9:30pm
Evening of the Arts
Join us with Fix the Hurt Performing Arts Group at Broadway Palm Dinner Theater for an elegant evening of fine art exhibit, silent auction, live music by Lisa Addeo, dinner and theater performance. Information with tickets and sponsor ship can be viewed and purchased online.

Funds from this event will go to Bravery Scholarship program to send 3 survivors to college and to create a new teen dating violence musical that is already in demand in Arizona High Schools.

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June 6-13
Bravery Project Cruise
Want to take an amazing vacation to some of the most beautiful places on earth? Princess Cruises is donating a portion of the proceeds from a 7 day Caribbean cruise to Bravery Project. The more people come, the larger the donation. I will be presenting Bravery Project and producing an art piece for sale right on the ship. Contact Polly Waln at 480-753-6671.

This cruise is on sale with a deposit reduction during the month of August!

Some of the funds from this experience will pay for an invitation to Kolkata, India to produce art for New Light shelter in the heart of the Red Light District. With your help, Bravery Project can span across international borders.

Culture vs Compassion

2009-07-25T09:58:00.005-07:00

I want to share this article from the Arizona Republic with you because it is a good example of behavior that is excused by culture. When we learn about behavior or abuse in another country, it makes us feel uncomfortable, but becomes easy to dismiss as "their cultural." (i.e. female genital mutilation) Therein lies the perennial questions about moral subjectivism, and yet we can say that WE would never do such a thing. Why is that? Perhaps because as an ever evolving human race, our cultural pocket in this world is one that constantly corrects itself through strong voices and actions of people, like Peggy Bilsten, who know that culture makes no difference. Abuse is abuse is abuse. In the case of this little girl's parents, I'll never understand how cultural belief can supercede the protection and love for their own a child.

Support offered for 8-year-old victim of sex assault

Families want to adopt girl, 8, make donations

by Michael Ferraresi - Jul. 25, 2009 12:00 AM
The Arizona Republic

Peggy Bilsten returned home from a month-long humanitarian trip to help rape victims in Africa to learn of a similar victim in Phoenix. Like the victims she met in Africa, this one "survived hell," she said.

The former Phoenix city councilwoman offered to adopt the 8-year-old Liberian refugee who police said was held down and raped by a group of neighborhood boys at a Maryvale apartment complex.

The victim landed in the care of Arizona Child Protective Services after her father made statements to authorities that he no longer wanted her in the home because she brought shame to the family. The story triggered an outpouring of support from families willing to adopt the girl, help her recover or simply to donate clothing and toys to ease her transition into foster care.

The attack also prompted the president of war-torn Liberia to issue a statement Friday about the Phoenix case, stating that the country was trying to mend its issues with sexual violence.

Bilsten traveled last month to Uganda and the Democratic Republic of Congo with the Christian missionary group Mending the Soul.

"It's important we don't excuse this as culture," she said. "This was the result of evil, not culture."

The four boys - ages 14, 13, 10 and 9 - face criminal charges in connection to the July 16 incident in which police said they lured the girl into a shed with chewing gum, held her down, and raped her.

Citing department policy, CPS officials declined to answer questions about the victim, although they said the girl was safely recovering in foster care.

The agency is conducting its own investigation, working with the victim's family to determine whether their home could eventually be deemed safe. Officials said each CPS case is treated on an individual basis.

Steven Tuopeh, 14, will be prosecuted as an adult on charges of kidnapping and sexual assault, according to the Maricopa County Attorney's Office. Prosecutors have two weeks to decide to petition Maricopa County Superior Court to transfer any of the boys' juvenile cases to adult court.

Officers arrested the boys at their homes Tuesday, five days after neighbors at the west Phoenix apartment complex called police after the girl ran screaming and partially clothed from the shed where the attack occurred.

Investigators said the boys held the girl down inside the shed and took turns sexually assaulting her for nearly 15 minutes.

Police said the victim knew her attackers, but they were not sure how long the families lived in the complex or how long it had been since they fled Liberia. Three of the boys lived with their families at the complex.

Investigators were unclear on the suspects' personal backgrounds, based on their refugee status.

Detectives focused on the July 16 incident during interviews with the boys, police Sgt. Andy Hill said. They conducted the interviews with their families' consent.

Hill added that the boys' experiences in Liberia never came up in interviews.

"Nothing in the interviews really (brought up) anything from the past," he said. "You need to be careful in your interviews (with child suspects). You can't try to lead or coerce or anything."

Hill said the emotional outpouring from the public was the most significant for a child victim he has seen in nearly 25 years.

Abuse Is Not An Event; It's A Process.

2009-07-04T05:48:00.006-07:00

It's not often that we get lucky enough to have someone in a power position take notice and become active in the domestic abuse movement. Fortunately, we have an advocate for proactive change in Judge Toler.

You may have seen her on Divorce Court, one of the most successful real-life drama television shows on KSAZ (Phoenix, AZ). She has worked with thousands of cases in domestic violence, stalking, assault, and stalking. After seeing her speak at the Women's Luncheon at the George Washington Carver Museum in June, it was easy to see why her show is so successful. Not only is she beautiful, she is funny, intelligent and really cares about working towards stemming the flow of violence and abuse rather than reacting to it.

Several key points from her speech were surprising, even to me. One may think that a DV case even making it to court is a win because it's rare and the abuser may finally have to be accountable for his/her actions; however, according to Judge Toler, "it's little too late." In a culture that pulls off a few leaves on issues rather than hacking at the roots of the trees, she understands from experience that abuse is a community problem and it develops as a process rather than just an event.

My previous post on Why Domestic Violence: if not you, then who? demonstrates more graphically the same message. People don't go into a relationship thinking or knowing they will be abused, but they still have to take responsibility for that first step to get out. That initial step is what frustrates people. Why doesn't she leave being the most common question, but they don't realize that leaving is the most dangerous time for a victim and usually the very act happening when we read about a homicide/murder/suicide case in the newspapers. A key to prevention of these media stories repeating themselves is that a "community provides a means of exit that is safe," according to Toler. Again we go back to awareness, education, then action.

Anyone can become an advocate in very small ways by first learning more about the issue of abuse, especially if one knows a person in the situation. Then by giving her a phone number for help and telling her that she deserves better. Keep this number with you in your wallet or purse and present it when she is alone. Most of all listen to her and don't judge. You will be amazed at how this small and free gesture could save her life and many others after her. You can be a hero.

Domestic Violence: if not you, then who?
Divorce Court
Toler on NPR

Why Domestic Violence--If not you then who?

2009-06-05T14:33:00.009-07:00

A person close to me asked why choose domestic violence as the platform for the art I create and the charity work I promote with Bravery Project. Her understanding was that there are many causes out there which are just as important, such as serious health issues. Producing art will not stop some jerk from beating on this wife...she still made choices. Those with health issues, like cancer and congenital deformities, did not choose their fate. After a deep breath, this inquiry became an important opportunity to teach.

There have been individuals who have asked for art to help other causes via Bravery Project, and it was seriously considered. Although there are many important causes in our communities, let alone the world, domestic abuse is one such cause that produces some very interesting challenges. We are talking about human nature and an omnipresent social disease that is highly misunderstood, misrepresented, and underserved.

To be clear, Bravery Project, is about education and awareness of WHAT, WHO, and HOW domestic abuse happens. We can't force abusers to stop abusing and victims to leave, but we can encourage people to think differently about this issue. Instead of seeing the abuse as a private problem and acceptable in some cases, we prove time and again that it's a common and expensive community issue. The vast numbers of survivors who have shared their stories (portrait or not) prove that ignorance prevails. When people see the faces and read the stories from the survivor's own words, they learn something new. What they learn encourages them to have open discussion, listen to someone in need, provide a number for a victim, step in when they see that child being hit by a parent, report negligence at a nursing home. In otherwords, have compassion and take action.

In the past 11 days, 8 domestic violence deaths have been reported just in Maricopa County--two of them were children. Were they preventable? Possibly. Suppose the neighbors heard or suspected something and reported possible child abuse....would those children still be alive? What if a friend or acquaintance, gave the woman a number to call and told her she deserves better, would she still be alive?

If people shake their heads at a victim and think she made the choice to marry him, they must expect that she saw the signs and consciously decided, "Hey, in about two years, this guy will break my ribs, scar my face, and put me into the hospital...I think I will marry him and have his children so he can use and abuse them too." Obviously, we know this isn't reality, but turning our backs on victims as "they asked for it...they choose it" is saying exactly that.

Taking out personal responsibility from the health realm is dubious at best. Although scientists have detected a breast cancer gene, that doesn't excuse a person's lifestyle from encouraging the cancer to develop. The best way to reduce cancer incidences is to educate the population about good lifestyle habits. This is no different when it comes to domestic violence and abuse. People must be educated on what it means and what to do, whether it's to get help or to help someone else. We understand that she couldn't possibly know he will cause her to miscarriage in 12 months because he will beat her belly...any more than we can expect the neighbors who hear his rage and her cries to know the best way to handle a "domestic disturbance." We must allieviate this fear of stepping out and sharing stories and stepping out to help another through education. The Bravery Project way is to give a voice to survivors so THEY can teach from their own experiences.

This is just one of the things that Bravery Project does and with collaboration in the community, we will do together.

Marcia J. Powell vs A Broken System

2009-05-26T06:44:00.008-07:00

I am passing along this email message from Stella Pope Duarte, author of If I Die in Juarez, and an article by the Arizona Republic, "Tragic Cage Death Ends Woeful Life", written by E.J. Montini. There is little to add here; however, we need to remember that prostitution is usually connected to domestic and sexual violence and is also an ignored community issue as you will read. Unfortunately, we go back to the question of how to get people to care, get involved, and get those who fall into prostitution out. Like domestic violence/abuse, victims still have to make that decision and take that step (human trafficking is another story), but they must have someone light their way.

From: Stella Pope Duarte Date: May 24, 2009 11:20:36 AM MST Subject: Marcia J. Powell

Dear Friends,
E. J. Montini's article in todays Sunday Republic, May 24, 2009, said everything I had wanted to say, and he didn't miss a beat..it was eloquently written. Marcia J. Powell's death in an outdoor cage at Perryville should have everyone in Arizona outraged. For over three years I investigated the murders of over 500 young women in Ciudad Juárez, and now I see the same heinous crimes being committed here in Phoenix. This latest TRAGIC death of a woman who ran away from home at the age of 15, and God knows what her life had been at home...diagnosed as mentally ill, locked up at Perryville State Prison for two years for prostitution, ignored and degraded by society, now brings new attention to the ABSOLUTE violation of human rights being committed in Arizona. May we all turn briefly in our own busy lives to say a prayer for Marica and for all those caught in the grip of an UNJUST, and CRUEL correctional system. May we have the courage to move forward in defense of all those who have no voice, but ours.
love to all,
Stella Pope Duarte

(The cage she died in with a populated
control room 20 feet away.)

Montini's Columns & Blog 'Ancora imparo'

Tragic Cage Death Ends Woeful Life

Marcia J. Powell, a mentally ill prostitute and drug addict, died like a dog last week, roasting in a cage in the fearsome sun at the state prison at Perryville.

She was 48 years old.

Her final tortured hours in an outdoor enclosure last Tuesday mimicked those of a 5-year-old law-enforcement canine named Rik that died at Perryville in 2007 after having been left by handlers in an exercise run for three hours. Temperatures that day reached 105.

The temperature in Powell's cage last week exceeded 107. She was locked up for an hour longer than the dog before she collapsed.

There are many questions to be answered by the Department of Corrections about Powell's final hours. But her death is only the gruesome exclamation point on a long list of institutional failures that got her there.

DOC officials say that Powell had a rap sheet going back decades and included at least 10 sex and six drug convictions. She'd been in and out of Arizona prisons since 1994.

Records indicate that she left home in California at 15 with a ninth grade education, no marketable skills and a serious mental illness. A pre-sentencing report describes her as bipolar.

Last summer she was sent to prison for just over two years on a prostitution charge.

“It's awful the way this woman died,” said Donna Leone Hamm, executive director of Middle Ground Prison Reform Inc., which for years has advocated for Arizona inmates and their families. “No one cared much about her when she lived. I hope at least that we care about the way she died.”

DOC is investigating the incident. Several employees already are on administrative leave.

After Powell collapsed she was taken to the hospital and placed on life support. A spokesman for DOC told me that the department was unable to locate any family members. So when the time came to decide whether or not to pull the plug on the machines keeping her alive, it fell to prisons director Charles Ryan. Powell was taken off life support at 11:15 p.m. Tuesday and died at 12:42 a.m. Wednesday.

“The death of Marcia Powell is a tragedy and a failure,” Ryan said later. “The investigation will determine whether there was negligence and tell us how to remedy our failures.”

I'm not so sure.

For one thing, DOC should not be conducting the investigation. It should fall to an outside agency. The governor should demand it.

According to Middle Ground's Donna Hamm, she contacted then prisons director Dora Schriro in late 2007 about the practice of placing prisoners in outdoor cages.

“Because no one had died or had been permanently injured I couldn't get anyone – including the press – interested,” Hamm said.

Questions like that are only a beginning.

Powell's horrific death and her woeful life should finally get us to ask why Arizona's failed mental health system transforms county jails and prisons into mental health institutions.

It should get us to ask why we criminalize people like this but don't adequately treat them, since it's clear that taxpayers end up footing the bill for their care one way or another.

Powell told state officials that she had two children who were given up to foster care, but DOC says the state has no record of that. Police also checked the address of a name she'd listed as a friend on prison records but found no one living in the abandoned house.

In spite of spending years in the system, Powell's life remains a mystery. Her death is a tragedy, although perhaps not on the level of Rik the law-enforcement dog.

There was a large public outpouring for him.

(Column for May 24, 2009, Arizona Republic)

Stella Pope Duarte
E.J. Montini Article
The Real Cost of Prison's Weblog
Channel 15 Coverage on Powell's Death

Charities and Donations

2009-05-08T11:58:00.015-07:00

Recently, the Arizona Republic wrote a four-day series on twenty-two charities and where their money goes as a warning to all of us. In light of the new reduction of charitable tax benefits for those who make more than 250K a year, this is a blow to the efforts of fundraising and much deserved exposure of those who take advantage of the system.

Over the past couple of years, it's become clear that charity is big money and big business. The tax exemption status is an honor system put forth by the IRS because they do not have the means to audit the 1.8 million charities under their exemption umbrella. This may change, however, due to organizations that abuse that honor system.

There are two questions that have always come to mind while working in the nonprofit sector:

1. With so much money and inkind donations floating around, why is there still so much need? Why aren't issues being resolved?

2. Where does all this money go?

The first question is loaded. Issues exist, i.e. hunger, homelessness, abuse are alive because of human nature and they require more than one answer; however, it's the output of aid to those in need in comparison to the input of funds and gifts meant to feed, house, shelter, etc. that is in question. For example, the article from the Arizona Republic, "Following the Donations", shows that 8,884 pounds of medicine sat in a warehouse in the US and Canada, while the website claimed it was sent to the Philippines and Guatemala. By the end of the convoluted journey of this medicine, after being passed around on paper to several related charities in the US, it finally ended up in one faith based mission in Guatemala and one in the Philippines. The website claimed it got dispersed to clinics in the Philippines and hospitals throughout Guatemala. Makes one wonder how many instances like this happen when the public is told one thing and the charity does another.

The second question is quite easy to answer. People forget that nonprofits are still businesses. Nonprofit workers are either volunteers or they are paid staff. People who start, build and manage nonprofits full time, need to be compensated fairly. Unfortunately, as most business owners know, salaries are typically the biggest overhead. Be wary of large organizations that claim a very small percentage of money goes to salary. According to the Arizona Republic, "charities spend most on their own salaries, expenses." This is especially true with middle charities who take money and then disperse to other charities rather than donors giving the money directly to the cause they want to support.

In any nonprofit organization, there are still expenses in travel, supplies, monthly services that need to be addressed. The misperception that because you are a nonprofit, you should do and get everything for free is just not reality because it is still a business. Unfortunately, some nonprofits pay six and seven-figure salaries to their employees and take some pretty hefty sums for perks and bonuses. To get to that level, the nonprofit is mostly likely quite large and receiving tens of thousands if not millions a year.

There are many reasons why the issues of hunger, homelessness, domestic violence, etc. are unresolved, but very little excuse as to why the numbers are continuing to climb when there are so many generous people pouring funds into the nonprofit sector, expecting to bring about change. When you give to a charity, not only research their financials, but think HARD about whether you want to donate to a middle charity or to directly to the organization in need. The middle charity is not there to stem the flow of hunger or child abuse, they are there to collect money for other charities and they are not doing it as volunteers.

This type of nonprofit, such as the Combined Federal Campaign, is supposed to stem the flow of donation requests made to Federal government employees and to large billion dollar corporations. There is little if any oversight into fund disbursement by the CFC and it's very unlikely that they work as volunteers, which means a chunk of those millions are going to salaries, not to child abuse and education for the poor. Furthermore, if a middle charity claims they are watchdogs in ensuring transparency and accountability of money investments on behalf of donors, this is really unnecessary duplication because the organizations who apply for these middle charity networks already have to prove transparency. In other words, you as the donor can go directly to that charity who got the money and see the very same thing that you could from the middle charity and save millions of dollars that would otherwise go to services.

Arizona Republic: Perfectly Legal (Four day investigative report) If these links expire, please notify me and I will post them as pdf.

Excellent response to the AZ Republic article with some valuable links

CEO Salary comparison by Charity Navigator (They tell you to consider the size of the charity and the charity budget...ideally the larger the budget, the more help to people/animals rather than the higher the salary, but that isn't reality.)

Giving Hope to Adults

2009-05-01T16:36:00.004-07:00

I know it's been a while since I posted and there are many topics that have come up over the past couple of weeks to choose from. The previous post was about giving hope to kids; this time it's giving hope to adults.

This issue is near and dear to my heart and stems from a couple of conversations I've had with people about the importance of domestic violence prevention or breaking the cycle of violence. Through the research I've done to obtain corporate sponsorship (still looking), a majority of donations are made to three main categories: kids, healthcare, and education. All of them are very important; however, I feel strongly that adults must be given the same amount of attention as the kids.

As a community we see the value of children in their innocence, trust, and helplessness to help themselves in unfortunate circumstances. Absolutely, they have no control over their environments and as adults, we MUST get involved to help as a community. However, once they become adults, they are seen as damaged goods. How unfortunate.

I believe differently about survivors and victims of domestic abuse. The adults are just as valuable and important as the children in breaking the cycle of violence and more help must be made to them in way of prevention as well as services. Some of the most dynamic, inspirational, and powerful individuals who don't just talk, but take action to help victims are those who have been there. If we can help the adult women and men change from survivor to thriver, they can become the most influential and strong advocates for change.

There is NO age limit on when a person can be healed and prosper. In fact, the more adults who become prosperous and healthy individuals, the more they can make a difference in the lives of children. After all, they have been there and know exactly what it feels like and what needs to be done. Remember when you fly on a plane? The flight attendant says to put the mask over your face before putting it on the child's face. Take that analogy to DV and you can see that rehabilitation for the adult abuser and help and healing for the adult victim MUST be addressed to stop the cycle of violence. Especially if they have children involved, which is common. Don't forget that DV knows no bounds and as an adult you are NOT damaged goods. It's never too late!

Giving Hope to the Kids

2009-04-04T09:41:00.009-07:00

Yesterday, I had the first pleasure of presenting Bravery Project to the Black Canyon School, which is really a euphemism because it's a detention center/school/church/living grounds for girls between 13-17 years of age.

It was also their first because they never hosted a Take Back the Night (TBTN) event before. TBTN for those who don't know is a protest on violence against women that started back in England during the 1800's. The news would report rape, murder, and violence on women after dark on a regular basis. Well, it pissed them off and they decided to join together in street marches, which has now become a world wide phenomenom.

On a local level, Black Canyon included several organizations to come and present to the girls information such as definitions on domestic violence, date rape, how to get help, etc. The girls were smart. Very few myths were supported in this group, which means that awareness is improving. There were, however, individuals who believe that "men just can't control themselves" or "he loves me" type thoughts that keep the cycle going.

Bravery Project was last and showed them the portraits and read the stories of survivors. I tried to focus on the recovery of hardship and teach them that everyone has been a victim of something in life and there is no shame in that. Only lessons that we apply and use to help ourselves and others. I explained the portrait process and how each individual shares a message that teaches and inspires. After talking about adding teen stories to the series, 20 or more hands went up wanting to have portraits done.

You see, these girls are children and Black Canyon is the end of the line. It's the place they arrive after the counties are through with them; the place they stay before the "big time." These are the ones from the entire state of Arizona. I looked into these young faces, some 13 years old, and found it hard to see they were already mothers, drug addicts, gang members, and murderers. They are hardened as much as a kids can be after suffering rapes, domestic abuse, street life, and neglect, but for a short period of time, they were simply giggly kids eager to learn and participate in activities that provided hope and inspiration.

Maybe today, as a new day with strict rules, schedules and the normal drull, we left them with a message that they are not worthless troublemakers, there are people out there to turn to for help, and they can overcome.

I can only hope that events like TBTN can continue because this is the kind of experience these girls need. Funny how we hope for them to have hope for themselves. Hope is a great thing, but action makes all the difference.

Take Back the Night

Bravery Project Website Is Here

2009-03-20T14:38:00.004-07:00

It took me untold hours, sleepless nights, and hubby comforts (no he isn't a web-widow) to get the website redesign accomplished. I was fortunate enough to obtain a free account through grassroots.org with an amazing hosting package that offers complete creative control, which also means I get to fix all the booboos. If you have a 501c3 nonprofit, I encourage you to check them out. They offer volunteers to do your web design plus much more.

This new website is more interactive with lots of additional information. An important requirement is total transparency, so we are publishing our 990 filings with the IRS along with budgets (once we finalize them) for our Evening of the Arts event coming up in November.

If you prefer to just look at the cool stuff: the gallery has a whole new look with an image magnifier on each portrait so you can see it up close. The commission page has interactive slideshows of three of the pastel portraits so you can see progressive stages of development. I plan to add more to this library in the future. (NOTE: There is a 114 error message bug showing up with the Explorer browser. Don't be alarmed;its nothing, just a bug with the flash program and IE. I am working on a fix.)

Soon the Community Connection will be up for you to join as a member along with a host of other new ideas in the works. So, take a look, browse, linger, and email a webpage (buttons for this are available on the Gallery, Merchandise, and Commission pages) to someone else and help us spread the message of Bravery.

Bravery Project Website
Grassroots

Why She Doesn't Leave-A Reason

2009-03-14T08:35:00.009-07:00

A burning and most important question about domestic abuse is "Why doesn't she leave him?" Working with many survivors in Bravery, I've learned the reasons. They are complicated and many, but not publicized well. Usually we see the aftermath of a turbulent relationship in the form of bruises, tears, and pain. That makes it easy to stand away and say, "I would never stay in a relationship with someone like that. Why doesn't she leave him?" A logical response.

What we don't see are the invisible bruises and the compassion. The intermittent moments of peace, promises, and constant hope. Abusers will use pets, family, and especially children to retain control over their victims, but the most effective strategy is persuasion.

In response to the highly public story about Rihanna and Chris Brown, a very brave journalist, Leonard Pitts, came forward with his personal story of his abusive father and wrote an insightful and spot on example of "why she doesn't leave." You see, seven year old Leonard didn't realize that his father was manipulating him. His father beat his mother, and a few days had passed to let the dust settle. Dad wanted to come home and "pleaded his case through the mail slot, promising to do better, promising to change." Leonard cried and wanted his father to come home, but was told "I want to, but your mother won't let me." Eventually he did come home.

Mr. Pitts explains regret on his part of persuading mom to let in dad, but it's very natural for a child to want his parents to stay together. In a society driven by "family," it would be natural for the mother to do what she can to keep the family together as well, even at the risk of her life.

Most of the stories in the Bravery Project express how wonderful he was at first, his gifts and pleas for forgiveness, the happy times in the relationship, the promises of stopping the abuse and getting help. Why doesn't she leave him? Because she trusts, she believes, she wants to help him get well, she loves this side of him, she wants her children to have a father.

Mr. Pitts uses his own example to extend a message to Rihanna that he is aware of what Chris did to her, but also that he understands why she went back to him, much to the dismay of the public. "It is the classic behavior of a battered woman," he writes. "They tell themselves it was their fault. They tell themselves it was a one-time thing. They tell themselves lies...evasions and rationalizations."

Leonard Pitts- Letter to Rihanna: Please think again

Time is of the Essence

2009-03-01T12:48:00.007-07:00

It's with bitter-sweet emotions that I write this post. You may have noticed that posts have been reduced to every two weeks this year. That's because there is a lot of work to do and less time to get things done. At least it seems that way. We all know how quickly the hours in a day disappear beneath the heaping loads of To Do Lists. Everyone of us is gifted with the same 24 hours in a day and usually take for granted that we have another tomorrow...that the sun will rise once again.

My gift of time over this last weekend gave me a couple of lessons in priorities about life and death. A good friend of mine, Steve, is dying of prostate cancer. When speaking to him three days ago on Wed, I learned that he was in hospice and drugged quite heavily. I wanted to visit him that evening, but thought for sure I had the time to squeeze a visit into a super busy weekend. My husband and I had house guests from out of town on Thursday to stay with us over the weekend. I had a Bravery showing at a big fundraiser event for Hands of Hope for You on Friday evening to prepare for and execute. Amongst it all, Tim and I were celebrating our anniversary Sat/Sunday. Why am I telling you all this? Because during this hubbub of activity, I tried to get a hold of Steve during the weekend, only to find that he could no longer speak. This troubled me deeply because I wanted to see him, talk to him, ask my burning questions about his military days and his photo shoots with celebrities at the Emmys, and let him know what a dear soul he was to me. Unbeknownst to everyone, the cancer took him over so quickly that he never made it past the hospital emergency room. He had gone straight into hospice care and I had waited too long.

How quickly lives can change in a couple of days or even a couple of months. The fundraiser dinner at Hands of Hope for You was lovely with great music, food, and wonderful speakers. I learned that a new shelter is in the works to help women and children. I was also surprised to learn that the Executive Director, Carrie, had started building this organization last October, only 5 months ago, wow. The evening brought in funds, even in an economic downturn. Carrie mentioned how people were questioning the timing of the event, but she understands that people need help NOW, not just when we are comfortable with the economy. In spite of concerns, the night was a great success and I was very happy to share Bravery Project.

Carrie reminded me that NOW is always the best time to get involved, regardless of external forces. People need to work together now. People need help now. We all know there are important things we put off for very good reasons and we guilt ourselves over it. I know because I did that with my friend Steve. I went through my guilt stage, immediately got myself out the door and went to visit him at hospice.

Amazingly enough, Steve acknowledged my presence and I got to give him my love and goodbyes. There were several people there, including one of Steve's best buddies from Florida. It so happened that this friend, I'll call him J, has a sister who is living in an abusive marriage, and he didn't know what to do. Because of Bravery and the amazing people I've met along the way, I was able to give J sound advice on how to help her. Without a word, it was like my buddy Steve had somehow brought me and J together so we could help another person in crisis.

Steve told me quite a while ago that he was ready to go. He was already at peace with himself. It was I that needed the peace with his pending death. I got that and so much more--the opportunity to help someone in need. So my personal lesson can be one for you: Don't expect to have that tomorrow and put things off that need action now, especially when it comes to people. Don't guilt yourself over what you could have done and didn't...do something now regardless of what others say can or cannot be done. Twenty-four hours in a day doesn't seem like a lot and it really isn't, but there is so much that can happen in that time. Lives can change in seconds.

Hands of Hope for You
Steve Gladysz Photography (Steve is the one who took my latest photos that you see in my blog posts. He is so talented. )

Where Do Your Taxes Go?

2009-02-15T12:33:00.012-07:00

A politician recently said, to stimulate the economy, let's have every worker NOT pay ANY taxes for two whole months. They would have hundreds of dollars in their pockets to pay down bills, save, or spend instead of receiving "stimulus" checks of tax borrowed money. Business would love it because they wouldn't have payroll taxes; employees would love it because they don't pay income tax; the government should love it because it's an immediate boost to the economy without the added millions it costs to collect taxes and process the "stimulus checks" and mail them back to us. (Oh but wait, that would create jobs, right?) Sounds like a winner...but here's a catch.

If we suddenly saw just how big our checks are without taxes, it would be such a shock. There is a kind of psychology at work when you have gradual increases in taxes taken out of your check a little at time rather than have your total income all year long and then have to pay a gigantic bill at the end of the year. It would be like paying for a car all at once for some people. Taking a little at a time is much easier. Plus having control of ALL your hard earned money, might wake people up to ask questions about where in the world is all this tax money going?

So...let's ask the question. Where in the world is all your tax money going? I have no clue...do you? Our new President is about ready to sign over a 787 billion dollar spending package that serves double duty to keep programs and "private" business afloat, while creating jobs in the energy efficient programs that he promised during his campaign. What about the $250 mil delegated to Hollywood for movies or $30mil going towards studying a mouse, or...you get the picture. Take it further and look at the evidence: The banks who took the TARP bailout a few months ago refuse to tell the public where they are spent the cash. Are we asleep here?

Take national down to state level and you will read an article about Arizona CPS workers being laid off and forced on furlough for three days, while the children go unprotected. The state asked for an 11% cut in CPS. Yes, things are tough, but I would have gladly gone without my Arizona Commission on the Arts grant I recently won if the money would have kept CPS open for three more days. The safety of abused children is way more important, but unfortunately, CPS is a business and the bottom lines are more important than lives.

You as the tax paying citizen are customers of the government. They are paid by you and they work for you, yet no one I know of can account for where the money we pay goes. A quick search online led me to lots of websites that explain percentages of Arizona tax revenues, but absolutely nothing on what Arizona programs are supported by us, the customer. I encourage you to try and find out. If you find any websites with valid resources to provide financial transparency in Arizona, please send them my way. The more we know about this, the more influence we will have in saving and improving lives...the important stuff.

State Tax Breakdown (2005)
Who is Left to Protect the Children?
End of Bailout Transparency Already?
A Guide to Bailout Transparency Sites
$246 Mil for Hollywood
$30Mil for SanFrancisco Mouse

It's a No Brainer

2009-01-30T19:35:00.004-07:00

Recently, my husband came to me with the Valley & State section of the Arizona Republic talking about a DV training program called Empire Gives Back. This is a partnership effort between Empire Education Group and Cut It Out (national DV prevention program) in which students at the Empire Beauty Schools will learn about DV, awareness efforts, and victim support among other things--all supported by Attorney General, Terry Goddard and Arizona Coalition Against Domestic Violence. That's terrific news! The only part I thought was funny is the "no brainer" comments made by Goddard.

According to Goddard, this partnership is a no brainer because beauticians are most likely to see DV victims and to hear about abuse as they do beauty services on women. Right? Well, many of you are probably thinking yes, of course it's a perfect match.

I might agree, but being someone who colors her own hair (too cheap to pay for salons), does her own nails (clips 'em off due to lazinezz and artistry), and gets a hair cut from her all time favorite gal at Great Clips...that counts me out. As for other women, well yes if they can AFFORD the services and can actually get out of the house. Additionally, this partnership presupposes again that this is a woman's issue.

Let's look at it another way. How about a program called Medicine Has Your Back, in which partnership efforts take place between medical schools, hospitals, and Cut It Out so that quality training is required in the medical community. Okay, so the title needs a little work, but the idea of focusing in this industry has WAY more impact on domestic abuse. Why do I say this? Because doctors are more likely to see a person in crisis than a beautician, not that I am knocking Empire. It's absolutely wonderful; however, hospitals see children, women and men in crisis and are in a great position to help. I return to my mantra that domestic abuse is a human and animal rights issue, not just a female one. Additionally, if the medical industry as a whole would recognize this serious pandemic for what it is and have campaign programs in place that help victims, it might even help their bottom line. Now that to me is a no brainer.

Terry Goddard and Cut It Out
Empire Gives Back

Hands of Hope

2009-01-17T12:10:00.016-07:00

Yesterday, I had the honor to bring Bravery to a half-day seminar hosted by Hands of Hope. This was the first time I had attended an event focused on the Christian community. The seminar was given by Steven R. Tracy, Ph.D., author of “Mending the Soul: Understanding and Healing Abuse” and Founder of Mending the Soul Ministries - Professor of Theology and Ethics, Phoenix Seminary.

Steven was a pastor for 15 years and has extensive experience in dealing with families who suffer in domestic abuse situations. His presentation was backed by solid research on the subject of domestic violence (primarily focusing on marriage situations) in regards to the definition of domestic violence, understanding the abuser, and how the church should and should not respond. Unfortunately, he explained that studies show only 7% of people are willing to go to their pastor, clergy, bishop, minister, etc. to request help.

Furthermore, his research shows that people in the Christian communities have two top requests from their church leaders:
1. Believe the victims when they ask for help. Don't tell them to try harder to be a better wife.
2. Acknowledge the problem and address it in the congregation. Admit it happens and is not acceptable.

Dr. Tracy explained that these top priorities don't cost any money or take any extra people or resources to implement. This information proves how badly awareness is needed and that simply acknowledging and listening those who still suffer goes such a long away. He is on a crusade to teach others about this issue and how to help people in religious communities. Food for the soul.

I have a brother who was a church leader in his community for over five years. I adore him because he is sweet, quite innocent about worldly ways, genuinely wants to be good and help others, and laughs at my bad jokes; however, when we discussed how to handle a case of child abuse, I became quite distraught.

He was taught at the time of his new appointment that discoveries of domestic abuse were to be handled within the church. I argued with him that police authorities must be contacted to remove the child from the hostile environment and hold the abuser accountable. As much as he wanted to do the right thing, we disagreed on this issue. Even with "you could have blood on your hands if the child ends up dead" was not enough to sway him from apposing the church leaders' indoctrination.

A problem with many religious communities is the dichotomy of church law vs law of the land or legal law. Many devout followers put religious faith above worldly life for various reasons. Personally I don't see the reason why they can't work together (we'll save polygomy for another post). If either religious or legal practice fails to help, protect, and heal the victim of abuse, then they are not doing their job. I can't imagine that when I die, God would say to me, "Although you did not save that child from torture and death, thanks for saying your prayers."

Dr. Stephen Tracy (You can request Dr. Tracy to speak at your congregation. He also trains other facilitators to give seminars about domestic violence.)

Mending the Soul by Stephen R. Tracy

Hands of Hope

Some interesting reads:
Woman Submit! Christians & Domestic Violence
The Bible on Abuse & Violence