Think about the brands in your wardrobe.  Do those of us who purchase labels do so because the brand’s story aligns with who we are, or who we aspire to be?

If so, it might help to explain why are so many of us willing to dish out the dosh for designer.

Intrigued, I asked Peter Noel Murray, PhD, who works with brand marketers as principal of a consumer psychology practice in New York.  He is also a contributor to Psychology Today.

Dr. Murray, do consumers use fashion and luxury brands to create self-identity?

I recently conducted a study of consumers’ psychological relationships with luxury brands.

Our objective was to identify the emotional and attitudinal factors that motivate the behavior of luxury brand purchasers.  We conducted interviews among wealthy consumers, as well as those with average financial resources.

Many people think of fashion and luxury primarily in terms of self-identity and making impressions.  While this often is the case, there are other psychological relationships to luxury that are important as well.

Like what?

Consumers frequently construct a mental reality of “owning” a product or brand as part of the shopping process. In our study, we found some consumers who did this with luxury brands.

Can you give me an example?

A woman shopping for a designer dress to wear to an upcoming party will create in her mind the reality of how she will look.

This is not about self-identity; and it is not directed toward how others will view her wearing the dress.

It is an act of self-appraisal.

Her mental construction enables her to experience how the dress will make her feel.  And it is this emotion that drives her purchase decision.

So we imagine how we’ll feel wearing a particular item – a designer frock, for instance – and we buy based on that feeling?  (for example, this dress makes me feel smart, sexy, confident, sassy, etc).

Basically, yes.  The critically important consumer factor that is common to all relationships with luxury brands is emotion.

We humans experience emotion as a result of an appraisal of an object, an event, or ourselves.

Consumers who create a mental reality that includes a luxury brand can experience an emotion that results from an appraisal of the self united with that brand.

And is there a difference if you’re wealthy, or less than wealthy?

Some wealthy consumers we studied experienced emotion from appraisal of a luxury brand itself, in terms of its quality, uniqueness, and timelessness.

For many consumers, emotion results from appraisal of how they believe a luxury brand changes the perceptions that other people have about them.

How do we identify with brands?  Is there a reason we are attracted to some fashion labels and not others?

Research reveals that consumers perceive the same type of personality characteristics in brands as they do in other people.

And just like with people, they are attracted more to some personality types than others – attractions which are emotion-based, not rational.

Brand personality is communicated by marketers through packaging, visual imagery, and the types of words used to describe the brand.

So we buy into a carefully crafted brand story that we associate ourselves with…

An important foundation for a brand’s emotions can be found in its “narrative” – the story that communicates “who” it is, what it means to the consumer, and why the consumer should care. This narrative is the basis for brand advertising and promotion.

This explains why brands can help to shape our style.  Like me and my Marni…

One of the powerful forces driving consumer behaviour is the need to support our goals of self-identity.

Greatest satisfaction comes from purchases that either are consistent with who we are, or send signals to others about who we would like them to think we are.  More on that here.

So we buy to feel good.  As a consumer psychology expert, what takeaway can you give us to ensure we’re spending wisely?

I wrote ‘Understand the “Why” Before You Decide To Buy,’ in Psychology Today, this section of which might be helpful:

‘The first step is to put aside the illusion that you are an objective, rational decision-maker who makes purchases based on expected utility or some other quantitative evaluation of value.

Once you accept that emotions are a powerful influence on your behavior, you can take steps to bring that influence under control. Some emotional end-benefits are valuable. Others, less so.

The goal is to understand the emotions that are influencing you so that you can choose which to accept or reject.’

So the next time you are about to hand over your credit card, consider what is really driving your desire.  Whatever your brand of choice, consider why you identify with it.  How does its story jive with your own personal style?  Maybe, just maybe, Marni might make those who love it feel more intelligent.  It gives dressing smart a whole new meaning.

Read Dr. Murray’s blog, Inside the Consumer Mind, to learn more about our buying behaviours.

Like this?  Last week, How to Find Your Style: An Interview With Dr. Karen Pine, Psychologist & Professor of Fashion

This week, Dr. Karen Pine, Author, Psychologist and Professor of Fashion, talks about style from the inside out.

What are your thoughts on clothes as a means of exploring individuality and self-esteem?

Our clothes are an expression of how we think and feel, and of our self-confidence and self-esteem.  I am constantly surprised that this is still a much-neglected area in psychology, and that I am one of very few psychology professors taking fashion seriously.  After all, our clothes are a form of human non-verbal communication; they are the language with which we express ourselves and an extension of our personality. We all wear our inner world on the outside.  By understanding the psychology of clothing, we can unearth the inner reasons why people wear what they wear, and help them to reflect their best self.

I’m interested in the idea that our clothes can carry projections of who and how we aspire to be.  Your thoughts?

I have written a lot about women who hide behind ugly clothes, as well as the fact that people are more likely to wear a pair of jeans – rather than a favourite dress – when they are depressed.  This has inspired me to investigate the concept of ‘happy clothes’, or what academics call ‘enclothed affect’.  This says that clothes not only express how we feel but have the power to change how we feel.  Imagine being able to prescribe an outfit for a person, rather than a drug, to lift them out of depression!

Describe your own style, and how you discovered it. 

I have always loved clothes.  I don’t view my interest in style as a mere frivolity either.  It is absolutely integral to who I am as a person, as an individual, as a woman.  When young, I was more influenced by what I saw around me, in the shops, in the media and on other people. Over the years I’ve discovered my own style by isolating myself from these homogenising forces that pervade modern society.  We have to try to ignore the merchandising voices that insist we wear what they have decided is the ‘latest’ look, because they are not interested in our style – they are only interested in profit.  And profit comes from producing clothes in high volumes, then everyone ends up looking the same. If clothes express your personality, why let someone else decide your look?

So I got rid of my TV ten years ago.  I never buy ‘women’s’ magazines.  And I never shop on the high street or go to shopping malls.  These steps may sound extreme, but the mass-market production and selling of clothing murders individuality.  Luckily I‘ve discovered a few makers who sell their clothes on the internet (I love Walkers of Pottergate) and a few obscure shops. I’m fortunate to also work in Istanbul where my friend Asli Jackson and I have fun concocting clothes together.  She organised the photo shoot and clothing in these images.  The top I’m wearing was once a man’s jacket.  She’s taught me not to be afraid to alter, rip apart or turn inside out a piece of clothing if it improves the look.

What would you say to someone looking for their own style?

Don’t look in shop windows or magazines for inspiration.  Look at great art and see your style as an art project.  Don’t wear anything you wouldn’t hang on your wall.  Cherish the hand-made, the natural, and the timeless design.  Adapt tribal, vintage or ethnic pieces that have been lovingly and artfully made.  Use the aesthetics of beautiful clothing to express yourself, rather than trying to be on trend.  Make choices that allow free unrestricted movement (tight clothes and high heels do the opposite).  I also find short hair incredibly liberating (seen here in an image with my vintage safety specs converted to cool sunglasses!).  Don’t obsess about making everything match.  Mismatched items (e.g. a leather jacket over a floaty dress, formal with informal, vintage with new) work because the brain enjoys novelty and surprise. Experiment, be adventurous, be bold, put on a hat, have fun.  And remember, your smile is a great accessory.

What’s so great about finding your own look?

Well it is very nice when strangers compliment you, or fashion bloggers stop you in the street to take your photograph.  But that’s not what it’s about.  Finding your own look is about allowing your inner beauty to radiate.  Finding your own look is integral to growing and developing as a person.  It’s all about making sure that when you buy clothes you are investing in who you are.

TAKE PART in Professor Pine’s current research into psychology and fashion by completing a quick survey here

Like this?  Last week, Master Image Consultant and Author, Sue Donnelly, talks about finding your own style.  

Master Image Consultant, speaker, author and doyenne of creative dressing, Sue Donnelly, shares some thoughts about personal style.

Is style learned or intuited?

It can be both.  Some people are instinctively drawn to clothes that look great on them.  They easily find the perfect accessory, or see that a hemline needs shortening without really knowing (or asking themselves) why.

Others will go through an analytical process before deciding what to wear. They may have learned that they have short legs, and need clothes that create the illusion of length.  Or maybe they understand that their slim shoulders look best with a wider neckline.  For some people, looking their best has ‘rules’ attached.

I’m a mixture of both. My style has become more intuitive as my confidence has grown. I’ve learned to trust my instinct on what looks and feels right.

As a new image consultant, it made sense to follow rules.  Now I realize that this wasn’t always entirely successful.  At times my style was boring and predictable, and I got no real joy from my wardrobe.  I created the illusion of a well-proportioned body, but my soul missed out on the party!

So how do you know when a style is ‘right’?

My style has to enhance my looks, be current, comfortable and totally appropriate.  My look doesn’t stand still – I love fashion too much. I think style follows the Pareto Principle (80/20 rule). The 80% is about comfort for me, which may sound boring and old-fashioned, but it works.  So you get the picture, imagine me in a changing room, waving my arms around like a banshee, or testing my overlarge stride!

I need to know that I’ve chosen the right clothes for the occasion and the people I’m with. I’d be mortified turning up in an inappropriate outfit, although I’m more than happy wearing something unusual.

To be truly comfortable, I need to dress with authenticity and uniqueness. The 20% can be more fluid. This allows me to change how I look according to my mood, my life and my needs.

For a while, I dressed my “comfort” creatively. I’m currently looking a little more dramatic in a simplistic, understated way. Variety is key for me, but not at the expense of representing who I really am.

I know I’ve got it right when my wardrobe is a haven of pieces I love that can be mixed and matched for any occasion.

What would you say to someone looking for their own style?

Your Style should:

• Be an outward representation of your inner persona – your Soul

• Flatter you physically – your Silhouette

• Enable you to get what you want out of life – your Spirit

Consider your passions – what fires you up? What do you love? If you adore exotic places, your style could encapsulate bright colours, rich fabrics, heavy jewellery, sun-kissed hair and makeup. If you love order, your clothing might feature symmetrical design with crisp, neat lines.

To know if a piece is physically flattering, look for things that appeal to you, then try them on without looking in a mirror. You’ll know if it feels right, which a visual check usually confirms.  And be open to new ideas and try things on.  If it doesn’t work, just have a laugh.

Because clothes are our visual shorthand, we need to ensure our personal style is sending the right message. Wearing a ‘uniform’ that isn’t right for you can mean you’re in the wrong job, are with the wrong partner, or are aiming for something that isn’t really authentic. Think about what you want in your life, and dress accordingly. But ensure it feels right for you.

What’s so great about looking like yourself?

We all have bits that we don’t like. Luckily, God has given us diminishing eyesight as we age – I’m much kinder to myself these days!

I love that I can wear my hair really, really short. I love my retro glasses and my large eyes, and the fact that I can carry a super bright lipstick.

Now in my mid 50’s, I’m happy to look a little eccentric. I don’t need, or want, to be part of a tribe. I want my own unique look, and I’m not afraid to go for it by staying curious.

More on Sue Donnelly.  New book, released yesterday: Success In High Heels

Like this?  Last week, Can These Shoes Make You Invincible? 5 Women Discuss the Amazing Power of Clothes

In my work as an Image Consultant, I’m privy to seeing how many of us attribute veritable superpowers to our garments: shoes that make us feel invincible, lucky pants, or perhaps a jacket that makes us seem like catnip to the opposite sex.

Science calls this phenomenon Enclothed Cognition, which suggests that our psychological processes are affected by what we wear. The way we approach and interact with others can be influenced by associations we attribute to certain garments.

So a pair of shoes we wore to a successful meeting can take on those associations with success in our minds, and effectively puts us into that headspace when we wear them again.  The garment becomes a symbol that can trigger that mode of behaviour in the future.

Dr. Galinsky, one of the lead researchers in the study, says “clothing affects how other people perceive us as well as how we think about ourselves.”

To trial these findings, I’ve asked five women to open their wardrobes to reveal their “super-powered” garments.

Liza, Corporate Communications Manager

“My shoes make me feel invincible.”

‘My hero garment?  It’s my shiny blue LK Bennett shoes. I wore them to my promotion interview (my biggest career meeting to date), where I had to do a presentation about myself, and be grilled thereafter by a panel.  My job is writing speeches for other people, but I’m not used to talking about myself.  I felt petrified going in, but my shoes got me into character. I wanted to come across as ambitious and well-prepared.  These shoes make me feel invincible and have seen me through so many career highlights. Like old friends, we went in and got the job done.’

Sarah, Head of Equality, Ministry of Defence

“In a vibrant dress, I feel I can achieve anything!”

‘My hero garment is a vibrant dress.  I’ve always had bright dresses in my working wardrobe, especially red ones.  I bought my first one as a graduate.  It made me feel “proper,” like I was made for the job and oozed confidence and charisma.  Since then, I’ve always worn a similar dress when I need to be taken seriously and want to exude personality.  I wore my latest incarnation of the boldly-coloured dress at a presentation for 200 people, and also for a challenging interview for my dream job (which I got!).  It put me in that “go for it” state of mind.  In a vibrant dress, I feel I can achieve anything!’

Kerry (left), Personal Assistant

“My Jesire jacket is my super-hero dating cape.”

‘My “super-power” piece is my Jesire jacket.  I call it my super-hero dating cape. There was a time when I was going on three dates a week through an internet dating site, and I always felt great in that jacket.  It makes me feel finished, well dressed and confident.

Maybe it symbolizes what I’m looking for in a relationship – it’s reliable, goes anywhere, looks stylish and never lets me down. We’ve been together through thick and thin.’

Fiona, Transitioning from Architect to Handbag Designer

“My Chloe bag makes me feel hopeful and empowered.”

‘My “super-power garment” is my Chloe Paraty handbag.  I loved it so much, I sold a Dior dress and some Prada sunglasses on eBay to help fund my purchase.  This bag is a symbol of my career transition from architect to hand bag designer.  When I use it, it reminds me of the exciting life change I’m making.  I’m actually doing this!  For me, this is not just a handbag, it’s a dream coming true.’

Christine, Organisational Development Consultant and Career Transition Coach

“My jacket lets me feel a little bit rebellious.”  

‘My hero garment is my Gap Jacket.  Although it’s cut like the kind of tailored jacket you might wear in the City, there’s something about the fabric and fit that’s just a bit rebellious. My work is about enabling businesses and people to change. This means helping them to be the best version of themselves (often achieved by challenging them to stop fitting in so well, and start being a bit more unreasonable). Wearing the jacket allows me to access the part of myself that is both able to fit in and be provocative.  It lets me feel a little rebellious.’

Do you have a garment that affects how you feel?

Like this?  Last week: Why Emerald Is The New Red…

This is no bah-humbug.  I do get it.  Research supports that red is a high-arousal colour, meaning it stimulates the senses and increases blood pressure.

Wearing red says, ‘I’m confident – look at me.’  Picture Michelle Obama in that red dress at the 2013 inauguration.

In nature, the colour red signals health and fertility in many animals – think of the robin’s red breast, or red bottom of the female macaque monkey in heat.

Red also has come-hither connotations for us humans, hence the colour’s prevalence around Valentine’s Day.

Research by University of Rochester psychologist, Adam Pazda, suggests that men perceive women wearing red as more sexually desirable.  Why?  Because the men in Pazda’s study regarded women in red as more sexually receptive (thus making women appear more attractive to men).

Women are not immune to the effects of the opposite sex wearing red either.  A study published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology showed that women found men dressed in red as higher status, and therefore more sexually attractive.

But as Dr. Noam Shpancer notes in Psychology Today, wearing red doesn’t necessarily imply that a woman is looking for sex, nor that a man has high status.  It could simply mean that the wearer likes the colour (or maybe nothing else was clean).

‘Wearing red is so complicated,’ a female styling client tells me.  ‘I want to be noticed, but wearing red requires courage – and it can just be too attention-grabbing at times.’

For me, the complexities of wearing red become apparent in the fitting rooms of a luxury department store.

The scene: me trying on a pair of red underpants.  The challenge:  while inspecting my scarlet-clad backside in the mirror, all I can think of is the macaque monkey.

Then I spot Stella McCartney’s exquisite emerald-coloured lingerie.

Hello lover.

The salesperson, sensing my interest, says with a wink, ‘emerald is the new red.’

It is indeed.

Incidentally, emerald is the Pantone colour of 2013.  Leatrice Eiseman, Executive Director of Pantone’s Color Institute, notes that ‘symbolically Emerald brings a sense of clarity and rejuvenation, which is so important in today’s world.’

Eiseman adds that emerald enhances our sense of well-being, balance and harmony.

There’s even more good news about emerald.

‘It’s a very easy colour to wear,’ says Veronique Henderson, Creative Director of Colour Me Beautiful.  ‘It’s bold enough to make a statement, but it’s not as domineering as red.  And because it suits every skin tone, emerald looks good on everyone.’

Red will never go away – and don’t get me wrong, I adore it.  But if you struggle with red (or roll your eyes at the Valentine’s cliché), the power of colour extends well beyond the high-arousal shades.

Coco Chanel famously said, ‘The best colour in the whole world is the one that looks good on you.’  Maybe it’s red.  Maybe it’s something else.  The power of colour is also how YOU feel wearing it.

For me, emerald might just leave red feeling green with envy this Valentine’s Day.

Like this?  Last week: Does My Confidence Look Big In This? The Transformative Power of Clothes

Has our black-caped friend got a new sidekick in Gotham City? Nope. This actually happened recently in the town of Stockport in northern England. The two ‘superheroes’ were ordinary blokes on their way home from a fancy dress party.

Were they empowered by what they were wearing? We can’t know for sure. But the chip shop owner did say that ‘nobody thought about throwing a punch at Batman.’

Welcome to the transformative power of clothes.

As an image consultant, I work with people every day who have garments and accessories which they feel give them super-heroic powers – or some variation thereof.

Take my client Liza, a big cheese at an I.T. company, who has a pair of shoes that make her feel (in her words) ‘invincible.’ She wears them to meetings when she needs to kick booty – metaphorically speaking. Funnily enough, her footwear always delivers.

Another client, Sarah, wears a lucky red dress to high-stakes work events when she needs to ooze confidence and charisma. ‘In a red dress, I can achieve anything,’ she says. Her red dresses (she has a fleet of them) imbue her with the corporate equivalent of Batman’s powers.

The celeb world is rife with ‘lucky’ garments too. Tiger Woods wears a red t-shirt on the final day of gold tournaments, red being a lucky colour in his mum’s Thai culture. Colin Farrell apparently wears a pair of shamrock boxers every time he starts a new movie.

Really? Can a garment actually make us feel empowered?

Yes, research suggests.

A study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, demonstrates that wearing something with symbolic meaning (for the wearer) could impact cognitive function.

Translation? The red dress or the shamrock pants (or whatever your variation is) can, in fact, enhance your performance and affect your behaviour.

But it’s less about the actual piece of clothing, than the symbolic value that we attribute to that garment, be it luck, confidence or something else.

In other words, Sarah had a good experience when first wearing a red dress. Ditto Colin with the lucky skivvies. So when they subsequently put those garments on, the wearer goes into that mental mode, expecting (and thus creating) another successful outcome.

More research needs to be done, but this study contributes to a body of work that suggests we think with our physical experiences as well as with our brains.

So go ahead. Put your cape on.

Like this? Last week: What Beyonce Can Teach Us About Authenticity.

That’s no small feat considering her image had taken some stick after she admitted lip-syncing at President Obama’s inauguration.

The press has called her Super Bowl triumph as one of the best turnarounds in PR history.

Weeks before, some fans and commentators used words like ‘fake’ and ‘dishonest’ to express their disappointment that Beyoncé didn’t sing live on such a momentous occasion.

The part of Beyoncé’s response that caught my eye: ‘I am a perfectionist.’

Her audience didn’t want perfect.  They wanted real.

They wanted her to be authentic, doing what she does best – even if that posed the risk of a less than perfect performance.

Which leads us leads us away from the Super Bowl (where I’d say she reclaimed her bootylicious image) to your playing field.

How would it be if YOU worried less about being perfect, and concentrated more on being yourself?

Authenticity is about being genuine – being you, but in the fullest possible way, even when it feels risky.

It’s about being mindful, and using that mindfulness to make the best choices to align your actions with who you are.

It’s about developing self-awareness, which is key to choosing the right response for the situation.  I call that self-management.

Beyoncé is in show business.  But what if the rest of us put less ‘show’ into the businesses we’re in?

It’s you they really want – your best possible, genuine, self-aware self.

As Danielle LaPorte puts it, ‘forget about being impressive and commit to being real.’

Good advice for all of us, including Ms. Knowles.

But she’s bounced back just fine – she’s a survivor.

Photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/28722563@N05/5892994892/

Like this?  Last week: Help!  I’ve Changed, But My Clothes Haven’t – How to Sync Your Life & Wardrobe

My diagnosis?  A textbook case of ‘you’ve changed, but your clothes haven’t.’

My client had been made redundant from her high rolling corporate job, and had also celebrated a milestone birthday (the big 5-0!).  She felt – in her own words – ‘a bit lost’ as to what to wear.

Nothing looked aligned with how she felt inside.

How we feel about our clothes can indicate how we’re feeling about ourselves.  So when our appearance is out of sync with our emotions, it can be unsettling, like we’re being inauthentic and sending mixed messages.

If you’re standing at your stuffed-to-the-gills wardrobe every morning, thinking ‘I hate my clothes’ or ‘I have zilch to wear,’ ask yourself the following:

1. What feels incongruent?  If you’ve changed, it’s important to understand how you’re different.  Ask yourself what’s making your clothes feel ‘not quite right’?  Be precise.

Maybe you’ve left a job, a relationship or some lightbulb moment has changed your life.  And your clothes, still stuck in the past, are not in step with the changed you.  You’ve moved on.  The clothes haven’t.

After some self-examination, my client’s epiphany was that she didn’t want to wear suits anymore (‘I’m tired of dressing so masculine and dull.  I want to embrace my femininity – I want to look professional AND be a woman.’).  Bye-bye suits; hello tailored dresses.  Her posture and demeanour were utterly transformed.  She lit up.

2. How do I want to come across?  Being made redundant spurred my client to reassess her personal brand in general – which for her, felt softer and more feminine.

When circumstances change in your life, it’s an opportunity to apply fresh ways of thinking about how you show up in the world.  Ask yourself, how do I want to come across?  Be precise.

Cross check that with the contents of your existing wardrobe.  My client wanted to be ‘bright, energetic and bold’, but practically everything she owned was grey, navy or black.  We got colour to the rescue – even a little bit had transformative powers.

Start to get mindful of what really feels like you when you dress – and also what doesn’t.

3. How do I want to feel?  We all think about how a garment or outfit looks.  But clothes are also intimately linked with how we feel (ask anyone who has tried working in manky old trackies).

Understanding this can be invaluable when you’re trying to identify new aspects of your style.  Ask yourself, how do I want to feel when I get dressed?  Be precise.

‘The new me wants to feel inspired and unique,’ my client said.  A tough call in a sea of dark suits.  But even if you feel stylistically hamstrung by your profession, there’s usually some wiggle room for sartorial self-expression.

I suggested work wear that still towed the corporate line, but featured some unique details – an interesting cut of jacket, colourful tops, or inspiring piece of jewellery.  This can give pizazz and personality to an ensemble that’s D-U-L-L.

My client had the bucks to buy new clothes.  Lots of them.

But don’t panic.  Bringing your clothes into alignment with the new you doesn’t mean you need a trust fund or a fancy corporate salary.  Once you’ve identified what doesn’t work anymore, a few clever tweaks can get the process going.  Take it step by step, and reassess whether your new purchases are effectively telling your story.

As for my client?  Things are looking much brighter – pun intended.

Like this?  Last time: Boxing – and other ways to leave your comfort zone

Everything is tried, tested and familiar.

Which is precisely why it’s good to leave it sometimes.

Like now.

But don’t panic.  Leaving your comfort zone doesn’t have to happen as a single terrifying leap.  It can be a series of small steps.  The beautiful thing?  With small steps, your resilience expands and your fear recedes.

I ask my clients to write down 10 ways they’d love to leave their comfort zones – things that really juice them up – but they are (or were) too scared to try.

Here are 10 examples, with associated ‘buts’:

1. Learn to dance tango – but I’m a klutz.
2. Quit my job and start a business – but I’m scared I’ll fail.
3. Get fit – but I’m overweight and have no energy.
4. Ask that hot guy out – but I’m scared he’ll say no.
5. Ask that hot girl out – but I’m scared she’ll say no.
6. Learn Italian – but I’ll never get fluent, so why bother?
7. Write a book – but who’d want to read it?
8. Wear something fitted and sexy – but I hate my body.
9. Ace public speaking – but I’m scared I’ll go blank, sweat profusely and humiliate myself.
10. Make a difference – but I don’t know how.

What about committing to try a dance class?  Just one.  Wear a paper bag over your head to protect your identity, if need be.  It’s just one class – if you hate it, you’ve got permission to leave.  One class.

Quitting your job feel too big?  What about committing to a coffee with someone who has done it, to hear their story and run your idea through.  One coffee.

The hot date?  Why not start with ‘hello’?  See where that goes.  Just one word.

Everything kicks off with a single step (the ‘try it’ phase).  Then you make the choice to add commitment.

To get something you’ve never had, you have to do something you’ve never done.  BUT it doesn’t have to be all at once.

And when you get in the groove of doing new things, keep it going.

Today I did my first-ever boxing session with my personal trainer, Ross.  I was kicking, grunting, sweating.  Doing something new – whatever it is – can feel liberating and life-affirming.

It can recalibrate what we feel capable of in other parts of our lives.

We’re in this together.  What’s your best advice on leaving your comfort zone?  Share your soul food.

By the way, those things you want to do – the things you dream about?  You should do them. 

Like this?  Last week: Finding Your Amazingness

Amazingness is yours for the taking.  It’s that easy.  It’s within you, waiting to be found.

A hidden gem.

The currency of amazingness is choices – your choices – and whether you opt for comfortable and cozy (I call them slipper decisions); or whether you make choices that require gumption (the ones that make you gulp).

Where do you think amazingness happens?  Which kinds of choices take you there?  Slippers or gulpers?

Here’s a few things that amazing people do differently:

They make choices that keep them growing and evolving.

They stand for something.

They give of themselves to help others grow, evolve and stand for something too.

They respect their fear (anyone who things amazing people are not regularly scared stupid, think again).  But they don’t let fear stop them from doing what they want to do.

They ask themselves, ‘Is fear indicating that I’m onto something?’  Maybe.  Usually.  Amazing stuff can happen on the other side of fear.  Goose-bumpy is good.

Amazing people respect and acknowledge their inner critic too.  They might say, ‘Thanks for your input, inner critic, but this is how it’s going to be.  Why don’t you skedaddle?’  And funnily enough, the inner critic, thus treated, usually gets a bit deflated and slinks away.

Amazingness is a headspace; a heartspace; a gut-space.

Here’s the tricky part (there’s always a tricky part!):

How amazing will you let yourself be?

Think big about it.  I’m talking dizzy-dancingly big.  Then give yourself the permission to make choices that’ll take you there. Day by day.

Amazingness isn’t something for other people.  Big stuff is for everyone – even if it happens in small steps.

So how’s today looking, sunshine? Ready to carpe diem?

Last week: If You Were a Big Cheese, How Would You Show Up In the World?