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	<title>Break Your Limits</title>
	
	<link>http://www.breakyourlimits.co.uk</link>
	<description>"Once we accept our limits, we go beyond them"</description>
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		<title>How to decide what to change – Wheel of Life / Cirlce of Life</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/BreakYourLimits/~3/hsigJdi0sPE/</link>
		<comments>http://www.breakyourlimits.co.uk/2011/02/10/how-to-decide-what-to-change-wheel-of-life-circle-of-life/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 10 Feb 2011 15:46:16 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>karl</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Articles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[NLP]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Personal Development]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.breakyourlimits.co.uk/?p=346</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Sometimes we identify a feeling that things &#8220;just don&#8217;t feel right&#8221;.  Maybe you have achieved something that you expected to [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Sometimes we identify a feeling that things &#8220;just don&#8217;t feel right&#8221;.  Maybe you have achieved something that you expected to be a monumental personal goal, yet you still somehow feel incomplete.  Maybe you&#8217;ve had a few days to collect your thoughts and you feel like you&#8217;ve not achieved as much as you could have, and that you want to make a change or do something new.</p>
<p>At the same time you might find yourself clawing away trying to work out just exactly what it is that you need to improve&#8230; you might be financially secure, have a great family, and have the job of your dreams&#8230; but you&#8217;re still not happy.  Or maybe you have the hobby everyone else envies, the perfect bachelor lifestyle, and a nice house&#8230; but still you&#8217;re not happy.</p>
<p>Or maybe you&#8217;re just unhappy at everyone and everything, and you don&#8217;t know where to start on this great voyage of self improvement.</p>
<p>Either way, the first thing you need to do is&#8230;</p>
<h2>Work you where you are right now</h2>
<p>Such a simple statement, but so often overlooked.  Many of us feel discontent and frantically claw away to make a change, without actually knowing what it is that we are truly unhappy with.  Quite often one negative aspect of our lives can hide behind our ability to collect other minor issues and create one super-problem&#8230; it&#8217;s just like a snowball gathering mass and velocity as it rolls from the top of a mountain.  On their own, they&#8217;re merely snowflakes, but they soon amass into an out of control steamroller of pain!</p>
<p>So, what we need to do is take a metaphorical hairdryer to this snowball of doom and break it down into its parts.  That&#8217;s where we do a little exercise called &#8220;The Circle of Life&#8221;, or sometimes known as &#8220;The Wheel of Life&#8221;.</p>
<h2>The Wheel of Life / The Cirlce of Life</h2>
<p>To help us work out where were strong and where we&#8217;re lacking, we can use an exercise called The Circle of Life, or The Wheel of Life.</p>
<p>See the diagram below and make a copy on a piece of paper.  It doesn&#8217;t need to be neat.  Draw the outer circle, split it into eight segments, and draw nine concentric circles inside the outer circle.  Or, if you&#8217;re like 90% of the population and you associate better by copying a diagram, just copy the one I&#8217;ve drawn below!</p>
<div id="attachment_347" class="wp-caption alignnone" style="width: 510px"><a rel="attachment wp-att-347" href="http://www.breakyourlimits.co.uk/2011/02/10/how-to-decide-what-to-change-wheel-of-life-circle-of-life/wheel-of-life/"><img class="size-full wp-image-347" title="Wheel of Life" src="http://www.breakyourlimits.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/wheel-of-life.gif" alt="Wheel of Life / Circle of Life" width="500" height="500" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">The Wheel of Life</p></div>
<p>So now you have your Wheel of Life, we need to work out what&#8217;s in balance, what&#8217;s out of balance, and what you can start improving first.</p>
<p>Have a think about each aspect of your life on the Wheel of Life, and rate them out of 10.  1 being low and 10 being high.  Starting from the centre and working outwards, colour in the number of segments representing the quality of each aspect of your life.</p>
<h2>How round is your Wheel of Life?</h2>
<p>Ideally you would have a fairly even spread of qualities, all being 7 and above.  This would crete a nice smooth wheel.  If you rolled it, it would carry on a smooth comfortable rotation, indicating a nice, balanced, pleasant life.  In reality your wheel will probably have at least one bump or hiccup that would hamper its rotation&#8230; maybe even a total &#8220;flat spot&#8221; that would stop its rotation altogether.</p>
<p>This will give you a good indication of what needs changing first.  If you have the power to decide right now, then you should work on the qualities that are most lacking in your life, and try to improve steadily and with permanence.  If you do not have the power to decide, then you need to ask yourself the question &#8220;why do I not have the power, and what can I do to change this?&#8221;.</p>
<p>We can help you with your goal setting and building an action plan of what you really want to achieve.  If you&#8217;re having difficulty rating the quality of your life or properly reflecting on your current life, we can help.  So, if you need a helping hand, your first step to making a lasting change should be to <a href="http://www.breakyourlimits.co.uk/contact/">get in touch</a>!</p>


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		<title>Using Visualisation in Business Performance</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/BreakYourLimits/~3/_In4Mg3-jqY/</link>
		<comments>http://www.breakyourlimits.co.uk/2011/01/07/using-visualisation-in-business-performance/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 07 Jan 2011 18:06:11 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>David</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Articles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Business]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.breakyourlimits.co.uk/?p=220</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Using Visualisation exercises are what top businessmen/women and people who want peak performance and results in their business use. They [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Using Visualisation exercises are what top businessmen/women and people who want peak performance and results in their business use. They help to create a clear mental picture in peoples minds of what they want to achieve, now as someone wanting to achieve excellence what you want to do is see yourself doing it right all in your head before you take the first call or attend that important meeting.</p>
<p>Now to accomplish any mental goal you need to see yourself and have a clear vision in your mind first. The more clearly you have that vision the absolute best you’re going to do. Wherever you place your attention, your energy will flow in that direction and follow.</p>
<p>But WAIT you maybe wondering: What is Visualisation?</p>
<p>It’s a simple yet powerfully underestimated technique that top people in business are using today by using the power of your mind and your imagination to create what you want in your life.  Now you probably have already used it, daydreaming in your life already but you haven’t been made aware of it, it’s your absolute natural power of imagination.</p>
<p>Imagine being in a situation where you feel anxiety or worry…well when you worry about something, your thinking about that time, when you were performing at your worst and you felt terrible or you may be worried about all the WHAT IF’S, and future pacing (looking into the future in your head) a terrible outcome in the future for yourself. People who have faced negative issues in the past always use the power of there mind against them, they think back to those bad memories of maybe not closing that sales deal and how it felt, or stumbling at the wrong time of an important meeting or phone call. ALL this stuff is running through your mind, you see it as if it were this wide screen movie like picture in your head, playing the worst case scenario’s happening to you and as your imagining the worst possible situation now, I WANT YOU to NOTICE what’s happening and occurring in your body…. You may find your blood pressure sky rocketing, your upper body including shoulders tighten and become stiff as you feel tremendous amounts of tension. You feel your voice stifles as you lose a lot of saliva in your mouth, and as you look down you notice your palms of your hands become moist and wet.</p>
<p>Isn’t it strange how we are so amazing at visualising and imagining all the worst stuff that could happen to us in our life, yet the best stuff we chose not to, this is where the power of choice comes into hand, its always the bad stuff that’s easier to remember than the good, lets change that today.</p>
<p>So as you can see visualisation is a powerful technique and can be detrimental to your performance and your results in business, but if you use visualizing techniques correctly to visualize yourself doing it perfect and succeeding, it can enhance your game powerfully. If you put that energy into what you want in your life it will allow you to be happy. BREAK YOUR LIMITS have a wide variety of proven techniques that we cover that have excelled peoples performance in business already that have seen sales targets beaten and we can excel yours in the right positive direction today, if you want to have the edge by having that` powerful mind.</p>


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		<title>Why Managers Need to Lead by Example</title>
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		<pubDate>Thu, 16 Dec 2010 23:56:49 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>David</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Articles]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.breakyourlimits.co.uk/?p=218</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I want you to consider how maintaining a positive management style and leadership relationship can affect your team and or [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I want you to consider how maintaining a positive management style and leadership relationship can affect your team and or workforce in sales and customer services. So what if a sales team isn’t performing, should the results lie with the sales staff or should the problem be fixed in the management above?</p>
<p>Lets look at that more closely, when a team have no clear team goals and no leadership by example, this creates bad learning patterns and habits, that occur at work especially when employees see managers breaking promises or going against core team values. As managers when faced with such problems as sales figures dropping in a team or centre, it may seem easy for managers to feel that they are not in complete control and that things just happen to them. Their sub-conscious mind may trigger certain phrases such as:</p>
<p><em><strong>‘’It’s not my fault’’</strong></em></p>
<p>Or</p>
<p><em><strong>‘’They should do something about this’</strong></em><strong>’</strong></p>
<p>The company and organisation is responsible for bad learning behaviours and experiences that will go on where positive motivation and encouragement is overtly not on the agenda in everyday work operations.</p>
<p>So lets look at what happens if positive encouragement and motivation is reinforced into team members from management and what happens when negative energy surrounds a work force.</p>
<p>Team members get inspired by who they look up to and respect, when management performance and productivity is on a high through a positive state and energy, what you will see is a increase in all performance, through customer services and sales. This stimulates and increases the reputation of management, the company will be enhanced and the relationship between staff and management, which is key to overall achievement of the team, which will improve and deepen.</p>
<p>Now if positive re-enforcement, motivation and encouragement aren’t triggered from management downwards. Then what you will notice in a team’s dynamic is an impact on the motivation and it will build negativity leading to strain and laziness in team members. The reputation of management with staff across the company will be damaged and this will in turn result in the relationships breaking down and staff feeling upset.</p>
<p>As you can see the consequences of bad management and leadership wont be felt immediately, but what will tend to happen later on, is staff responses to feedback from management wont be taken on board in a positive manner, and what will be seen is more rebellious-aggressive behaviour as a way of getting their point across.</p>
<p>However what managers can start to realize and act on is to look at the their staff members in a more positive view, and of recognition that we all contribute to some extent to the overall goal. As managers our contribution may be from something that we do quite often on a daily basis or from what we do not do, but at the end managers need their team members performing, but the team members wont perform for the manager without a feeling of recognition or respect both ways. Fears of changing a management style to fit with staff under them may have held managers back from taken real positive action, perhaps they have been worried about new ideas being wrong.  If you take a more positive view however you can often find ways in which you can change an unsatisfied group of members in your team and make the situation better. You as a manger needs to be able to substitute negativity with positivity even with simple things such as phrases as ‘’ <strong>Yes you can</strong> ’’ and ‘’ <strong>If you can’t you must</strong>’’</p>
<p>Now as a manager you look back on situations and events you have faced in the past and you recall them, you may have learnt already from experiences and although with some you may have been totally out of your depth and control, some you may have found yourself contributing to by simple things such as your own behaviours and attitudes and your unwillingness to change. Simple things such as saying ‘”YES’’ to new ideas, questions and feedback that were thrown at you, but as a manager instead of dealing with them and managing them, you may have exercised your managers right of veto and discarded them plus discarding your staff’s respect at the same time</p>
<p>Remember managers need to be fair but firm, but if done correctly, you will create a well respected well balanced manager with staff below working harder than any to make sure the manager above is proud of their achievements. So by learning the correct communication style preferences for individual staff members you will notice and see a drastic change in your team member’s performance, respect and overall happiness within the business.</p>


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		<title>Why customers put up defence barriers, and don’t want to buy!</title>
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		<comments>http://www.breakyourlimits.co.uk/2010/12/16/why-customers-put-up-defence-barriers-and-don%e2%80%99t-want-to-buy/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 16 Dec 2010 02:19:56 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>David</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Articles]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.breakyourlimits.co.uk/?p=216</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Emotion is the driving force to any buy! That’s why you hear people doing impulse buying, purchasing through emotions or [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Emotion is the driving force to any buy! That’s why you hear people doing impulse buying, purchasing through emotions or they may say they saw something and bought it in the heat of the moment. We all experience these emotions as a response to events and memories that we have experienced in the past that may have threatened us and made us feel unpleasant or dissatisfied.  So even though you may never have spoken to a customer before as soon as you begin your sales pitch you hear the words ‘‘not interested’’ as customers, what they do is they test new information that they hear about and gage it to past patterns of events. So the effect and emotion they have on you as a salesman is only based on an association they made to that similar experience in the past therefore it is not a personal attack on you as an individual.</p>
<p>What customer’s think to them selves are:</p>
<p><em>‘’Remember what happened last time, it wasn’t worth my money’’</em></p>
<p>Or on positive experiences they think:</p>
<p><em>‘’I found this great and pleasing last time…’’</em></p>
<p>So as soon as you begin a sales pitch, the customer has already made a decision by their sub-conscious mind, and more often than not, customer’s act in response to these triggers. This response from customers may seem Erratic by salesmen as they often feel the customer doesn’t want to listen or isn’t interested to start with, however they must realize a customers behaviour is merrily only from a memory associated to negativity. The response they create is an auto pilot default behaviour to any such similar phone calls, which they deem as a possible negative consequence and decision if not short term, then long term which can be at a cost to the customer.</p>
<h3><strong>So how do you overcome this internal objection and barrier?</strong></h3>
<p><strong>You must first realize a few things about your customer:</strong></p>
<ol>
<li><strong>All customers have basic emotional needs, they want something that is of value to them that they not only need but will save money from in the future.</strong></li>
<li><strong>No two customers are the same and their memories associated to salesman and/or products and services sold to them in the past are different.</strong></li>
<li><strong>The needs VS the wants may vary between customers.</strong></li>
<li><strong>Emotional needs such as setting up a trust fund for their newly born child and/or life insurance for their family may be more important to a customer than offering a loan. So ask as many questions about the customer’s relationship status and children. REMEMBER their names! this is key to gaining trust, connection and rapport!</strong></li>
</ol>
<p>For more information on overcoming objections and winning customers who have had bad experiences in the past, please check out our courses we offer, so that you can have the edge over your colleagues.</p>


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		<title>The Importance of Emotions</title>
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		<comments>http://www.breakyourlimits.co.uk/2010/12/16/the-importance-of-emotions/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 16 Dec 2010 01:36:55 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>David</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Articles]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.breakyourlimits.co.uk/?p=211</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Emotions and how you manage them in life and in business are extremely important. Now our physical bodies communicate by [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Emotions and how you manage them in life and in business are extremely important. Now our physical bodies communicate by our conscious mind, our intuition and through instinct. They all respond to the various stresses that hit us in our lives through work, life and relationships. These feelings act as key spikes in our thought processes, as you can probably recall periods in your life when you have rebelled against a gut instinct or feeling you had, later to find out, it turned out to be true. Our bodies communicate these essential spikies all the time, however it is up to us whether we choose to accept the importance of our emotions or not.</p>
<p>Emotions are powerful feelings that if used and managed correctly can alter the way you live your life. They can better your way of communication and allow you to feel better. They can establish boundaries internally so that your values are not being violated and thus you feel hurt. Emotions can act as your internal moral and ethical gate for good decision-making, which can potentially allow people to connect on a much deeper level, which is called deep rapport.</p>
<p>In a sales environment, salesmen often ask why didn’t they buy off me, and blame the customer for XYZ multiple reasons. However if they took a step back and logically looked at their approach to a sale, they would have realized the following. All human beings even including ‘’customers’’ need to feel a strong element of ‘’respect’’ and feel respected. So how do you create that deep level of rapport to which you can then have a customer feel respected and enable you to make that sale? To show someone respect, you must first respect his or her feelings and emotions. You can do this by a number of ways and techniques we teach, however a simple one to use right now and start getting results is the 3Q’s to building deep rapport with someone.</p>
<p><strong>Question 1: Ask about their feelings towards a particular product or service?<br />
Question 2: Validate what they want as a customer, as each customer is completely different and are their own individual. So you must tailor each product and service for that particular customer.<br />
Question 3: Empathize with customers queries and reactions, most salesmen disregard key statements customer give them through a sales call, however by simply listening and creating empathy, not only will the customer feel respected but this gives you a level of rapport to introduce services and products that would help them.</strong></p>
<p>If you chose to disregard these 3Q’s to gaining deep rapport with customers, what you will be doing is invalidating customer’s feelings by rejecting their concerns and feelings. Customers will feel an element of rejection by you implying that their feelings be disapproved of which would instantly break any level of rapport you have either created or wanting to create. Invalidation is the single most sabotaging way to kill any positive emotions in customers, it destroys confidence, creativity and individuality in you.</p>
<p>Each persons feelings and emotions are real, whether you feel them yourself or not is irrelevant, but to reject those emotions and feelings is to reject that persons element of reality, that’s where you may notice customers communicating negative feelings, as they are trying to express their individuality as a defence mechanism to avoid being judged and their emotions undermined.</p>


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		<title>How important is self esteem?</title>
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		<pubDate>Thu, 16 Dec 2010 01:24:52 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>karl</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Articles]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.breakyourlimits.co.uk/?p=207</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[It doesn&#8217;t matter what you do for a job or what you do in your personal life&#8230; self esteem plays [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>It doesn&#8217;t matter what you do for a job or what you do in your personal life&#8230; self esteem plays a MASSIVE part in everything you do.  Just like in the animal world, people are attuned to read each other&#8217;s non-verbal cues to gauge a situation&#8230; to mark their prey&#8230; to find someone to forge alliances with.</p>
<p>If you have low self esteem then you&#8217;ll be exhibiting it in a number of ways, no matter how hard to try to disguise it.  In fact, consciously disguising low self esteem can make you look shifty and untrustworthy.  Your words will be saying &#8220;I&#8217;m fine&#8221;, whilst your subconscious body language will be saying &#8220;I&#8217;m totally NOT fine&#8221;.  As people attempt to process your words and use their powers of intuition, they&#8217;ll reach a conflict and alarm bells will ring.</p>
<p>The result: People don&#8217;t trust you.  You feel worse every time it happens, further confirming your belief that you&#8217;re worthless. Next time you feel even worse and see no way out.  It&#8217;s not nice, is it?</p>
<p><strong>So, in summary&#8230; Self esteem is VITALLY IMPORTANT.</strong></p>
<p>If you suffer with low self esteem, you may find that people use you, that you can&#8217;t gain people&#8217;s trust in your abilities or products you might be selling, and that no matter how hard you try, you can&#8217;t get people to like you.</p>
<h3>How can you improve self esteem?</h3>
<p>The problem sits firmly in the fact that you&#8217;re either convinced that people won&#8217;t like you -because of past experiences &#8211; or conversely that you&#8217;re TRYING to be a certain way that you think people will respond to, and you take a confidence hit when they don&#8217;t respond favourably.</p>
<p>Remember that you&#8217;re going to have to move away from a painful state and reprogram all of the negative associations that you currently have.  You have to move away from all of the references that you have stored in your mind that conjure up debilitating responses.</p>
<p>If you have low self esteem, it&#8217;s not all doom and gloom.  You can turn your life around by working to change your beliefs and your references.  You can create a new identity with confidence and conviction.</p>
<p>By improving your self esteem you can be better in sales, better in relationships, and better in life!  What are you waiting for? &#8211; Make the change!</p>


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		<title>Rapport Will Keep Happy Customers</title>
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		<pubDate>Tue, 12 Oct 2010 16:02:38 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>karl</dc:creator>
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		<description><![CDATA[A short while ago Mark &#8211; a business friend &#8211; was telling me about troubles he was experiencing with a [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>A short while ago Mark &#8211; a business friend &#8211; was telling me about troubles he was experiencing with a particular supplier.  He would often try to contact the supplier via the telephone but mostly got through to his voicemail or to an office junior with no knowledge of Mark&#8217;s account and no desire to be of any help.  Mark told me that in the beginning he was treated like royalty by his supplier, and things only seemed to go downhill a few months after he started using them.</p>
<p>For months Mark had endured poor customer service, poor support, and just had a feeling of a total lack of interest from the supplier despite him using them like clockwork every single week.  After some months Mark found another supplier dealing in exactly the same product, and immediately felt more welcome.  From his initial telephone call to the new supplier, Mark felt understood and knew that the new supplier was interested in him and serious about his prospective account.  Mark met with the suppliers and felt that same feeling of togetherness and interest from the suppliers, and he immediately ceased operations with the problematic one.</p>
<p>We&#8217;re now another few months down the line and the new supplier still treats him well.  His calls are answered by people that know about his account, and everybody is on respectful first name terms with him.  They know about his interests and can idle away the time talking about golf whilst they&#8217;re waiting for an order to be processed.  It all feels more &#8220;right&#8221; for Mark.</p>
<p>So what&#8217;s the difference between the two suppliers?  They both distributed identical products and both delivered on time.  The difference is that the old supplier only used rapport building skills in their sales staff, but once his account was passed to the general office, they never managed (or attempted) to establish rapport with Mark, where as the new supplier did this from the very first moment they made contact and maintained it throughout their hierarchy.</p>
<p>Rapport is an essential tool in a business and it needs to be conveyed throughout the company, not just in sales staff.  How many times have you been &#8220;hooked&#8221; by a company and then felt abandoned once they have you in their grasp?  This may work for a contract product such as a mobile phone, but as soon as the contract is due for renewal, the customer will often jump ship and use someone else.  Even worse if you&#8217;re adopting this approach in a company without imposed fixed contract terms, your customers could jump ship immediately!</p>
<p>It is therefore important for any company to establish and maintain rapport throughout their business operations.  From the Managing Director through to the sales managers, sales team, customer service, receptionist, and even any security staff and technicians.</p>
<p><strong>The moral of the story: TRAIN YOUR STAFF FROM TOP TO BOTTOM!  YOUR BUSINESS DEPENDS ON IT!</strong></p>


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		<title>Understanding Body Language (The Story of Mike)</title>
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		<comments>http://www.breakyourlimits.co.uk/2010/10/11/understand-body-language-story/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 11 Oct 2010 12:45:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>karl</dc:creator>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.breakyourlimits.co.uk/?p=138</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[When I say the term &#8220;body language&#8221;, what comes to your mind first?  Most people when describing body language will [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>When I say the term &#8220;body language&#8221;, what comes to your mind first?  Most people when describing body language will talk about eye contact, people looking down towards the ground when they&#8217;re unconfident or telling lies, someone crossing their legs away from you when they don&#8217;t have a connection with you, and touching their face for self comfort.</p>
<p>Whilst these all can be feasible methods of interpreting a person&#8217;s body language, it could also be a wild inaccuracy.  When you &#8220;read&#8221; body language consciously you&#8217;re not using your unconscious/subconscious mind, you&#8217;re using your rational logical mind and trying to apply a deeper sense of social mechanics to a situation.  Often your own perception of another person can govern and distort how we interpret their body language.  The best indicator of body language is your gut feeling.  How many times have you heard people say things like &#8220;it just doesn&#8217;t feel right&#8221;, or &#8220;he looks shifty&#8221;.</p>
<p>Let me explain a little situation I encountered recently.  I was working with a man in his late twenties (we&#8217;ll call him Mike for the sake of the story) who came to me with the following issue:</p>
<blockquote><p>Everybody tells me that my body language is negative, but I don&#8217;t know what I&#8217;m doing wrong.</p></blockquote>
<p>So, what was he doing wrong?  Not much to be honest!  Mike was generally a very attentive and intelligent person.  He had time for other people and generally knew what he was talking about.  Mike had just slipped into a few habitual &#8216;ticks&#8217; and patterns that other people often described as being negative.  Mike had all the classic signs of &#8216;bad body language&#8217;.  He touched his face when he spoke, he shuffled his feet a lot, he often crossed his legs away from people.  If you&#8217;re like most people you will agree that this does indicate poor body language and you&#8217;d probably be cautious around Mike.</p>
<p>I worked with Mike to improve his body language over a series of one-to-one sessions, addressing his own perception of body language, educating him to new ways of presenting himself to others and using effective non-verbal communication.</p>
<p>As it happens, the crossing legs away from people was totally by chance &#8211; it depended on which side people sat as to whether Mike&#8217;s legs were crossing to or away from them.  Mike had suffered a leg injury in his early twenties and abandoned his natural body language mechanism in favour of sitting the way he felt most physically comfortable.  He was consciously aware of this and of the ways people seemed to recoil and avoid a connection, and as a result he used a lot of &#8216;self comforting&#8217; techniques, such as crossing his arms or touching his face.</p>
<p>Mike had a great transformation and got the &#8216;lightbulb moment&#8217; within the hour.  We worked on various techniques to improve Mike&#8217;s &#8216;public performance&#8217; and social awareness, deconstructed his original preconceptions of how others would interpret his body language, and built a new confidence and inner strength for Mike to use every day of his life.  The best part &#8211; he can do this subconsciously.  That&#8217;s right&#8230; Mike&#8217;s old habitual behaviour has been erased and replaced with a more constructive and positive attitude, and his work and social life have been transformed.</p>
<p>So what can we learn from Mike?</p>
<ol>
<li>Don&#8217;t be too quick to judge others&#8217; &#8216;body language&#8217;.  The chances are you&#8217;ll be applying dated, inaccurate, and &#8216;movie-like&#8217; rules of reading people, and more often than not you&#8217;ll be way off the mark.</li>
<li>You should take time to be aware of your own actions and &#8216;ticks&#8217;.  Is there anything in particular that you do that makes people &#8216;switch off&#8217;?  Why do you do it? What can you do to change it?</li>
<li>Don&#8217;t over-engineer your own body language.  Whatever you do, do not cross your legs towards people because you feel that&#8217;s &#8216;socially appropriate&#8217;, don&#8217;t avoid touching your face or looking around for fear you&#8217;ll be interpreted as shifty.  Do these things because they&#8217;re natural and feel right.  The non-verbal communication goes much deeper beyond those simple rules, and people WILL see right through you.</li>
<li>If there is something you don&#8217;t like about your own body language, you can change it, and it&#8217;s actually remarkably easy (we teach this sort of thing).</li>
</ol>


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		<title>New Years Resolutions and why they usually fail – Set compelling goals instead</title>
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		<comments>http://www.breakyourlimits.co.uk/2010/01/02/new-years-resolutions-and-why-they-usually-fail-set-compelling-goals-instead/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 02 Jan 2010 14:13:16 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>karl</dc:creator>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.breakyourlimits.co.uk/?p=131</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Each new year many of us attempt to commit to a New Years Resolution &#8211; usually giving up something we [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Each new year many of us attempt to commit to a New Years Resolution &#8211; usually <strong>giving up something we like</strong>.  This more often than not results in failure to achieve your goal &#8211; or more accurately, failure to achieve the punishing regime that you&#8217;ve set yourself.</p>
<blockquote><p><em><strong>If you remove a cup of water from the ocean, the rest of the ocean immediately rearranges itself to fill that space.  A cup-shaped hole is never left behind.  Your life goals should work in exactly the same way.</strong></em></p></blockquote>
<h3>Why do New Years Resolutions rarely work?</h3>
<p>New Years Resolutions are simply not compelling enough to make you want to stick to them.  Ask someone what their New Years Resolutoin is and you&#8217;ll more often than not hear one of the following:</p>
<ul>
<li>I&#8217;m going to <strong>stop smoking</strong></li>
<li>I&#8217;m going to <strong>give up alcohol</strong></li>
<li>I&#8217;m going to <strong>stop going shopping</strong> as much</li>
<li>I&#8217;m going to <strong>stop eating</strong> fatty food</li>
</ul>
<p>I&#8217;ve taken the liberty of highlighting the important words in each of the statements above.  These are important because all of them &#8211; whilst describing the action you&#8217;re going to take &#8211; are inducing of negative actions.  Of course they are all meant with positive intentions, but the mere thought of preventing yourself from doing something that you take pleasure in can often be enough to breed resentment and negativity towards your goal.</p>
<p>If you&#8217;re constantly telling yourself &#8220;I&#8217;m going to stop doing this thing that I like&#8221;, you&#8217;ll often face inner resistance no matter how much you believe in what you&#8217;re trying to achieve.</p>
<h3>How can you create a more compelling New Years Resolution?</h3>
<p>If you&#8217;re going to have a New Years Resolution, immediately stop thinking about what you&#8217;re going to stop doing, and begin thinking, talking, and acting like what you actually do want to do.  For example, here&#8217;s a more compelling and desirable way of rewriting the previous resolutions:</p>
<ul>
<li>I&#8217;m going to <span style="text-decoration: line-through;">stop smoking</span> <strong>become</strong> a <strong>healthy</strong> non-smoker<strong></strong></li>
<li>I&#8217;m going to <span style="text-decoration: line-through;">give up alcohol</span> drink more water and fruit juices and <strong>look after my body</strong></li>
<li>I&#8217;m going to <span style="text-decoration: line-through;">stop going shopping</span> <strong>save money</strong> to <strong>improve my standard of life for the future</strong></li>
<li>I&#8217;m going to <span style="text-decoration: line-through;">stop eating fatty food</span> <strong>eat more healthy foods</strong> and cut down on the things that are bad for my health</li>
</ul>
<p>As you can see, the above goals are now more constructive and working towards an achievement rather than focussing on changing something.  You&#8217;re now working towards a replacement for the original thing which gave you pleasure.</p>
<p>For everything in your life that you want to remove, you must replace it with something else, and the best way to achieve your resolutions is to replace that thing with something that drives and motivates you more.</p>
<p>If you remove a cup of water from the ocean, the rest of the ocean immediately rearranges itself to fill that space.  A cup-shaped hole is never left behind.  Your life goals should work in exactly the same way.</p>
<h3>How can I improve my chances / How can I set my goals?</h3>
<p>We released an article about goal setting, which we would recommend you to follow rather than setting a simple New Years Resolution.  Goal setting can help to transform your entire life in a miriad of ways, ranging from your physical condition to your career goals and relationship goals.  The goal setting exercise allows you to really get creative and work out what you want more than anything else, and then whittle down your desires into manageable action-driven goals.  By setting yourself compelling bite-sized actions, you&#8217;re more likely to achieve, by firstly working on the small goals to gather momentum, then using that momentum to achieve the greater goals.</p>
<p><a title="Setting goals for the year ahead – Goals for a successful future" href="http://www.breakyourlimits.co.uk/2009/12/28/setting-goals-for-the-year-ahead-goals-for-a-successful-future/" target="_self">The original goal setting article can be found by following this link</a>.</p>
<p>Good luck with your New Years Resolution and achieving your goals.  Remember, if you create compelling and desirable goals, you&#8217;ll stand a much greater chance of achieving them.</p>


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		<title>Setting goals for the year ahead – Goals for a successful future</title>
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		<pubDate>Mon, 28 Dec 2009 02:05:03 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>karl</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Articles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Personal Development]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Future]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[Career Change]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[New Years Resolution]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[Positivity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self Employment]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.breakyourlimits.co.uk/?p=126</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Are you looking to make a change in your life?  You might be embarking on a new career, an exciting [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Are you looking to make a change in your life?  You might be embarking on a new career, an exciting new project, or maybe setting a New Year&#8217;s Resolution.  Whatever your aims, you can improve your chances of succeeding by doing a great goal setting exercise&#8230;</p>
<p>If you ask any successful person how they achieved the things they have, you&#8217;ll usually always hear about their vision and idea for something.  An idea for success, maybe&#8230; An idea for happiness&#8230; possibly.  An idea that compelled them to act and make sure it became a reality&#8230; most definitely!</p>
<p>Success can be measured in a number of ways and criteria dependant on your own goals in life, and your own set of beliefs.  Success to you might be losing a little bit of weight, it might be buying a new car, or having a top level executive job.  Success might even be something which benefits other people.  It could be doing work for charity, raising awareness of a condition, or providing a valuable service to your community.</p>
<p>Whatever your goals and ideas for success are, you can achieve them with a few easy &#8211; yet important &#8211; steps.  This article will help you to set your goals for the year ahead and begin creating the future that you really want.</p>
<h3>The Technique</h3>
<p>We will break your goals down into a few key (and easily digestibe) parts.  This will help you to set specific goals in all areas of your life, and to avoid falling into the trap of spending too much time and energy in one or two areas, and neglecting the rest of your life progression.</p>
<h3>Step 1 &#8211; Establishing what you really want</h3>
<p>For all of the following categories, write down anything that you would like to change.  It doesn&#8217;t matter how trivial, or grand that these objectives are.  The important thing is that you write them down.  Don&#8217;t worry, we won&#8217;t need to achieve all these just yet, and you&#8217;re not binding yourself to a personal development contract quite yet!  Don&#8217;t think about how attainable these goals are, or what&#8217;s stopping you from getting them.  Just be creative and excitable and naive about it.  Write down what you would really want if you could have anything, but don&#8217;t forget the trivial things too &#8211; those can be the most rewarding and fun to achieve.</p>
<ul>
<li><strong>Relationship/Family Goals</strong> &#8211; How do you want your love life to change?  If you are single, do you want to find a partner?  If newly married do you want to start a family? Whatever your age, maybe you want to devote more time to your parents, grandparents, or siblings?</li>
<li><strong>Financial Goals</strong> &#8211; How would you like your financial position to alter?  How much do you want to earn, and when?  Do you want to invest in anything?</li>
<li><strong>Career Goals</strong> &#8211; What do you want to be doing?  Do you want to carry on as you are?  Do you want to progress in your current job?  Do you want to change jobs/career?  Do you want to set up your own business?</li>
<li><strong>Creative Goals</strong> &#8211; Is there anything artistic or creative that you want to achieve?  Do you want to paint?  Do you like photography? Is there anything else you wish to achieve that&#8217;s fun and new to you?</li>
<li><strong>Contribution Goals</strong> &#8211; Do you contribute to charity or the community?  If so, what else do you want to do?  If not, do you want to help in your community with anything?  Can you help raise awareness of something worthwhile?</li>
<li><strong>Physical Goals</strong> &#8211; How do you want your body to look?  Do you need to put on some weight?  Would you like to lose some weight?  Do you want to start going to the gym, or eating more healthy foods?</li>
<li><strong>Emotional Goals</strong> &#8211; Where would you like to be emotionally?  What is happening in your life that makes you happy, and what would make you feel even better?  What&#8217;s not going so well, and what would you like to change about it?</li>
<li><strong>Educational Goals</strong> &#8211; What do you want to learn?</li>
<li><strong>Social Goals</strong> &#8211; How do you feel about your social life, and relationships with friends?  How would you like this to be different?</li>
</ul>
<h3>Step 2 &#8211; Working out what you need to do to achieve your goals</h3>
<p>For each of the items that you listed in the first step, go through and write down what actions you would need to do to achieve the goals.  For example if one of your physical goals was &#8220;drink less alcohol&#8221;, then your action could be &#8220;Limit myself to two alcoholic drinks, twice a week&#8221;.  If your goal was &#8220;Do some painting&#8221;, then your actions might be &#8220;Join an art group.  Take painting lessons.  Visit the Richard Goodall Gallery.&#8221;  By doing this, you start to become more attuned to solving the problems that would have previously stunted your thought process.</p>
<h3>Step 3 &#8211; Prioritisig your compelling goals</h3>
<p>Now you should have a pretty big list of goals and actions.  Go through the list of goals and write a number next to the goal, representing how important it is that you achieve that goal.  This will help you to prioritise what you really want.  The scale should be 1 to 5, with 1 being the highest priority, and 5 being the lowest priority.</p>
<h3>Step 4 &#8211; Being practical about your actions</h3>
<p>Go through each of the actions that are required to achieve your goals, and label each one according to its difficulty to achieve.  Write a number between 1 and 5, with 1 being the easiest, and 5 being the most difficult.</p>
<h3>Step 5 &#8211; Working out how long you need in order to achieve your goals</h3>
<p>Compare your list of goals and actions, and estimate how long you&#8217;ll need to put into action.  You should label the goals in the number of years they would take to achieve, starting from 1 year upwards.  If the goal is &#8220;Eat more healthily&#8221; and your action is &#8220;eat an apple a day&#8221;, this would only take a matter of minutes to put into action, however we class this as a &#8220;Year One Goal&#8221;</p>
<h3>Step 6 &#8211; Shortlisting and organising your goals for the year ahead</h3>
<p>Work through each of your goals and actions that you&#8217;ve labelled as &#8220;One Year&#8221;, and start to organise them in a way that motivates you to start working towards them.  A good way to do this is to use the numbers we assigned earlier to make a priority list.</p>
<p>Firstly, organise your goals in numerical importance order &#8211; All the goals with a &#8220;1&#8243; should go at the top, and the ones with a &#8220;5&#8243; should be at the bottom.</p>
<p>For each of the actions, start to list them under each of your shortlisted goals in difficulty order, with the easiest at the top of the list.</p>
<p>This process will help you to organise things in a way that helps you build up momentum and determination throughout your year.  You will be able to see things progressing and moving in the right direction in an organic manner by tacking some of the easier action points first.  It&#8217;s like getting up a staircase &#8211; you need to start by walking up the lower steps so that you can easily reach the higher ones &#8211; If you removed teh low steps, you&#8217;ll struggle to get the momentum to reach the higher ones.</p>
<h3>Step 7 &#8211; Review your goals</h3>
<p>Have a look through your list of goals for this year.  Does it make you feel good and determined to succeed?  Are you happy with everything in the list?  Is there anything missing?  If you&#8217;re not entirely satisfied, work back and see what you can change.</p>
<h3>Step 8 &#8211; Take action</h3>
<p>You&#8217;ve got your action plan in front of you now.  You have a set of goals, and a list of things you need to do to achieve them.</p>
<ul>
<li>Copy the list onto a chart or large piece of paper.</li>
<li>Stick the list to your wardrobe, bathroom cabinet, front door, fridge, or anywhere else for you to see each and every morning, day, and night.  This will help you to commit to the goals and keep them fresh in your mind.</li>
<li>Find photos of what you want to achieve and print them, keeping them wherever you&#8217;ve stuck your list.  This will give you a visual cue to achieve your goals.  If you&#8217;ve not got photos, do a quick search of Google Images and find something similar.</li>
<li>Do something each and every day to work towards your goals.</li>
<li>When you put something into action, highlight it on the list.</li>
<li>When you complete an action, tick it off.</li>
<li>When you achieve a goal, circle it.</li>
</ul>
<p>Good luck with your goals in life.  If you would like further information or support, contact us by email, subscribe to our <a href="http://twitter.com/breakyourlimits" target="_blank">Twitter </a>and <a href="http://www.facebook.com/pages/Manchester/Break-Your-Limits/209259600620" target="_blank">Facebook </a>channels, follow the <a href="http://www.breakyourlimits.co.uk/feed" target="_blank">RSS feed</a>, <a href="http://www.breakyourlimits.co.uk/contact/" target="_self">email us</a>, or leave a comment in the area below.  We&#8217;d love to hear from you.</p>


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