Breaking New Ground

mystery ailment + a cleaning challenge

2013-06-17T19:49:00.000-07:00

I've lost count, but it's been close to 10 days or so that I've been waking up to terrible cold/allergy symptoms. What's odder still is that each morning is worse than the previous. I've never had an illness where I get progressively worse over such a lengthy period of time. It's miserable. It's also really obnoxious trying to figure out what is wrong with me so I can treat it and move on with life.

First I assumed allergies, all the discomfort was in my sinuses and the Willamette Valley is literally the worst place in the U.S. for seasonal allergies. I've lived here all of my life and didn't begin to suffer from pollen allergies until 5 or so years ago, but even still it was fairly mild. These symptoms are not at all mild.

A few nights ago I woke with trouble breathing, my throat felt like it was closing up. I woke Ben up and we googled strawberry allergies. I'd been handling and eating fresh strawberries every day since I had gone picking 9 days earlier. I noticed that day I went that my mouth felt tingly after just a couple berries, which was uncomfortable enough to make me stop. I hadn't thought too much about it as I ate strawberries in my smoothies and ice-cream and made strawberry jam and sauce, until I woke up feeling so weird.

Turns out strawberry allergies (like most food allergies) have a lot of symptoms and "levels" of allergic reaction. Some people get that slight tingly feeling so they limit their consumption but indulge once in a while, others break out in hives, and then there's always the extreme cases where you go into anaphylactic shock. It was hard to determine if I was having a mild reaction from too many berries, if I had developed a worse case of seasonal allergies, or if I was (am) just suffering from the worst cold I've ever experienced in my 30-something years.

My awesome husband woke up the next day to scrub down the entire kitchen and freeze the remaining fresh strawberries. He's some kind of wonderful, that one. I've avoided strawberries for the last 3 days and haven't really felt any respite. In fact, I've still been waking with additional and/or worsening ailments.

I'm now suffering from sinus pain/pressure, running and stuffy and dry nose and sinuses, headaches of varying types and severity, swollen glands and tonsils, sneezing, watery/itchy eyes, a sore throat (dry, scratchy, burning, tight) that has been worsening each day over the last 10-ish days, on and off ear pressure/pain, hot flashes, fatigue... and the list goes on.

{smiling through the discomfort b/c my boys were snuggly for 5 seconds}

Now I'm certainly not trying to whine about this, but merely communicate that I'm truly confused by what is wrong with me. In an effort to find some relief I've tried apple cider vinegar, local honey, Claritin, Benadryl (at night), tea, lemon, tons of water, resting, not resting and more. Nothing helps for long, or at all. I'm totally stumped. So I guess I'll just do my best to wait this out. Although if it lasts past 2 weeks I'll be sure to get myself into the Dr. to make sure it's not tonsillitis or anything that I should be taking antibiotics for. However, from what I've heard from friends it could be seasonal allergies and I could suffer this way into July! Say it ain't so!

I have been able to get a little bit done around the house in addition to the normal day to day. I'd been inspired by the Summer Simplify Decluttering Series by Ann Marrie over at White House Black Shutters. I did the first week's list of "what is good and what needs to change" and then took up a little decluttering each day.

On the first day, I started very small and just went through the kid clutter on the fridge...

Then I went after our desk, which is ALWAYS a problem...

I do admit, I still need to go through the "in process" and "to be filed" boxes you can see to the left. Another day's project for sure.

And here's what Ben did with the kitchen, which I affectionately refer to as "the galley"...

{He's a smarty and put away our coffee maker since we only use it for Small Group meetings, which are on summer break. I use a french press for my own morning coffee. }

Our BIGGEST project will be the garage. It's FULL of random projects and our laundry room is also in there. We had a garage sale a month ago and while we immediately go rid of 3/4 of the stuff that was left over, there is still quite a bit to be donated, stored, and otherwise reorganized. Then we also put in a new door from the garage to the garden area and that project isn't quite finished so all the tools and such from that are spread across a ginormous table. It's pretty scary in there and unfortunately I have to go through it to get to the garden, and in the midst of it while doing laundry each day.

Sadly I haven't done anything since Friday because I've been feeling so crumby and we kept pretty busy on Father's Day (I'll share our gifts to Ben a bit later). Tomorrow my mom is having surgery (yes again- nothing to do with her cancer, but please say a prayer if you think of us) so Ben is working from home to allow me to be with my dad during that. I'm hoping to feel better for that of course, and to get on with the decluttering starting Wednesday.

Oregon Zoo Road Trip + College Pals Reunion

2013-06-12T20:08:00.001-07:00

A couple months back some friends of mine from college and I got to talking about orchestrating a mini "reunion" of sorts. We hadn't all been together since my wedding in 2007 and it felt about time to see each other, meet the kids, and catch up in a more personal way than instagram photos and facebook updates. Portland was the most "central" for all of us and with the kids we decided on a trip to the Oregon Zoo.

After 2 reschedules and one person having to cancel, the rest of us and our families got together on June 1st. Ben and I decided that if we could swing it, staying over night in Portland the night before would work best. That way we wouldn't have to wake up at 5am to get on the road to meet everyone. While we had a ton of fun staying overnight with our newly-wed friends in their lovely home, we probably would have gotten more sleep at our place. Desmond is very particular when it comes to night-time sleep. He didn't get to bed until 10:30 and was up several times. Malakai had a cot next to our bed and was so stoked that he was out pretty quickly, although that was also 10:30 because he took a nap on the drive up.

Speaking of, our drive up was fairly painless. We borrowed my father-in-law's Tahoe for the storage space. Malakai slept the first half, we stopped and ate a picnic dinner outside of a starbucks and then piled back in. I had purchased Kai the soundtrack to Jake and The Neverland Pirates (which has been newly added to Netflix and he's obsessed) and he listened to that with his 1st pair of headphones for the rest of our drive.

{on our way!}

Desmond was happy to talk to himself for most of the ride. Except for the last 10 minutes of our 2 hour drive he kept yelling "WALK! Please?" -he was so totally done sitting.

We had a great time catching up with Reid + Carina, even though our kids were determined to stay up all night.

{Kai showing his TAG reader to Reid + Carina}

At the zoo Malakai was so excited he could barely contain himself. We tried waiting for our friends before going through the gates but he just couldn't stand it, so we went through and waited at the first exhibit.

{mountain goat, bears, and ducks}

Once Caity and her husband Trevor and their son Roman then Reid and Carina arrived we began to explore the zoo. The guys kept us on track with the maps so we were sure to see everything that was open. (Sadly we didn't see Zebra, Panda bears, Tigers, Gorillas and a few others).

{{At the farm exhibit, seeing a cougar, getting help to see some livestock from Reid, checking out the Polar bear- who jumped in the water right in front of us!}}

Most of the pictures are of Malakai because Desmond was pretty exhausted. He fell asleep on the 15 minute drive to the zoo and would be skipping his nap to spend the day at there. He was fairly content to graze on his snack and watch the animals from his stroller. I did take him out for the animals that he had to be lifted high to see and to let him run around a bit.

{Malakai checking out the lion, he claimed it was his favorite.}

At the beginning of the trip Kai had let us know he wanted to see lions and dogs. We thought we might see wolves (we didn't) but unbeknownst to us, there were wild dogs in the exhibit right next to the lions. Sadly, they were asleep so they weren't too exciting. He was still pretty happy about it.

There were a LOT of monkeys. Countless types in multiple areas of the zoo. Most of them were pretty fun to watch, Kai got close to a couple and really loved it. Desmond enjoyed saying monkey and pointing from his cozy spot in the stroller.

Malakai also enjoyed this random tunnel thing and both boys LOVED the creepy crocodile. For the entire time we were in there (which wasn't long because it was a muggy indoor rainforest) Des kept saying "a-die-oh" in an effort to say crocodile. I held him close to it, and he giggled with delight.

The bottom left photo of the above collage is Caity, Carina, and myself. The day was going fast and I knew we had to capture a picture of the three of us before it escaped us. I really wish we would have taken one of our whole group together!

My personal favorite was the sea lions. Malakai was enthralled and could have stayed watching them all day. These 2 sea lions, 1 brown and 1 white, were literally swimming the same lap over and over again. Desmond found a group of teenage girls that would giggle every time he danced around...so he didn't even notice the sea lions.

{Here's Des continuing his dance in front of a fish tank. Then stealing Roman's zoo-issue car/stroller.}

Last but not least was the train ride. We parted ways with Carina + Reid at this point and the rest of us piled into a train car together (again, I wish I had a decent picture of all of us but we were busy holding on to kids who wanted to wiggle around). The train ride is 25 minutes and we rode a real steam engine. Caity + Trevor's son Roman is really in to trains and was even more excited than my kiddos about this experience, it was adorable.

After SIX hours at the zoo we said goodbyes and we piled our stuff and ourselves back into the car. Both boys fell asleep before we even moved from our parking space...which was a problem because our next stop was the Nike Employee store. One of my best friends works in legal at Nike so she put us on the list to shop that day. It was a bit stressful because the boys were crabby but in the end we made out with a cool pair of shoes for Kai (our main goal) and a nice little jacket for me.

After that we found a McMenamins and ate dinner. We decided that now that the kids were happy and full we should let them burn off some energy before putting them in the car for the trip home. We googled and found the nearest park. It ended up being a disaster...Kai ran straight for the field near the play structures only to fall into a hidden swampy mess. He was covered and his bum was saturated. Ben took him to the car to clean up and I took Des to the play ground, but almost immediately encountered a giant shard of glass and called it quits. The kids weren't too happy about the short-lived trip but were tired enough to settle in for the trip home. Des talked to himself for nearly the entire 2 hours and Malakai passed out after zoning on his piratey tunes.

The next day I took out a zoo passport we had printed from a site online (I've pinned it but don't have the energy to find it to link here). Kai was too excited to see the animals to care about this at the zoo, but loved thinking back on what we saw and drawing in the animals that weren't included in the book.

Overall it was a successful trip with our little family. We were so glad to finally get our kids up to the zoo, to see Reid + Carina's house for the first time, and to meet up with Caity and her family who we haven't seen since our wedding nearly 6 years ago! Let's hope it's not that long until we meet again!

On Breaking New Ground- again.

2013-05-20T12:44:00.000-07:00

We've recently undergone quite a few big life changes this year. 2013 has been anything but boring. Even just keeping up with our littles is enough to make for a busy life.

Since December of last year I started to feel God calling me away from my job. I wasn't sure how that would work, or if I was hearing him right. Perhaps I was just overwhelmed with my current workload and the stress of the holiday season.

In January some changes at work caused quite a stir which led Ben and I to really examine my role as an employee and our membership at the church. We had a LOT of deep and quite emotional conversations and we prayed incessantly. For a long time we waited to see what God wanted us to do. It was painful to be in that place, not knowing what God desired of us or had in store for our future on quite a few levels (personally, professionally, and overall spiritually). We continued to wait and pray.

I started to think that it would be nice to have Kai's last year before going to Kindergarten to focus on him and Desmond solely. It felt like a daydream, but I thought about it a lot. I loved my job and frankly, we needed the income to even get by. We have done a lot to slash our budget. We don't eat out, go to movies, buy toys or even clothing really. We've switched to cloth diapering and use baking soda and vinegar to clean just about everything, just to name a few things. So it didn't seem doable for me to stop working and still be able to survive (buy groceries, pay for gas, and you know...our mortgage). Still, the desire lingered in my heart.

Things at work got even more difficult, but nothing worth leaving over. I found a way to simplify my work tasks which REALLY helped for a while. Then we tried out having me do lesson planning and volunteer scheduling late at night after the boys had gone to bed. Long gone were the days when both boys napped and I could get 2-3 hours in each afternoon. Still, I found it wasn't enough time and I didn't much like missing out on one on one time with my husband to be working in the other room at 8pm. When I tried to preoccupy Kai so I could get things done while Desmond napped, I felt like I was neglecting him. Working from home has been one of the biggest challenges I've ever faced. I've work outside the home and for a short time I was solely a stay-at-home mom, but balancing both roles at the same time has been the hardest by far. Even with a well-timed schedule the kids pull rank, as they should.

Ben and I talked and prayed. My dream of leaving in the fall turned to the summer. Next thing I knew, the desire to be home full-time weighed so heavily on my heart that I knew without a doubt that God was calling me to leave my job, not in the fall, not in the summer, but right then. It was hard to swallow, but I knew I had to be obedient and trust in Him to provide for our family. That Ben and I both had to lay our pride down and recognize that we weren't the ones providing for our family in the first place, not alone anyway.

I drafted a letter. Prayed about the timing, and submitted my resignation mid April. It was both painful and freeing. I had to clarify often to staff, friends, and volunteers that we weren't leaving the church and that my leaving my job was strictly in response to God's call on my life and had no bearing on any leadership or co-workers.

May 2nd was my last day and on that day we were gifted $500. It was our first tangible affirmation that we had made the right decision and that God would provide for us in unexpected ways. While the last month has been met with some uncertainty, I'm constantly reminded that God will take care of us and I believe it, deeply. I've even had job offers and suggestions for earning additional income. I know that is not God's plan for me, to leave one job for another.

I will miss my jobs directing the Nursery + Toddlers and Preschool age ministries, but there is no doubt that this was the right move at the right time for our whole family. God is orchestrating the perfect people to take over and I'm exciting to watch these ministries flourish under their leadership as a church member and a parent of children in both age groups.

I'm so enjoying being at home with no outside deadlines pulling me away. No emails, texts, or phone calls. It's glorious. I can tell my kids are enjoying it as well. I've found a joy in fulfilling a dream that God put in my heart just 5 months ago and I look forward to seeing how He'll continue to grow and bless us through this new journey.

back to cloth diapering + a discount code!

2013-05-16T13:30:00.005-07:00

I've had a lot of response from friends and family wanting to know how I like cloth diapering. I have to say, that after being without cloth diapers for a week I actually MISSED IT! I didn't like using disposables again and I couldn't wait to get more diapers to get back into it.

If you read my last post, I did have a hygeine issue, but I loved them despite it. I came up with a simple solution. Just sew off the tabs so that "lint" cannot gather around the unreachable areas behind the snaps.

Ta-dah!

My wonderful "other mother" brought her sewing machine to instruct me on the best way to do it, and then we worked side by side to sew all 40 of our Just Simply Baby pocket diapers. In the time I did 15 she did 25...she probably could have done this project with her eyes closed. Meanwhile, my machine kept binding up on me. Anyway, we did it, it was SIMPLE and now the diapers we adore are back and being put to good use.

For those interested, we used a "stretch stitch" but a single line would work just fine, maybe not as durable though. Now any lint that gathers in the corners can easily be washed away by turning the diapers inside out. My "germaphobe" side is quite happy now. And just an FYI, the whole lint issue with pocket diapers isn't just one brand. We tried a handful of brands and they all had the same issues where the snaps attach to both layers of the diapers. From what I've read in my online research, most people don't mind having to pick out the lint by hand every once in awhile. I have zero time or patience for that remedy. Having used our modified diapers for some time now, I am quite happy with the solution.

The diapers we use are the usual PUL outer, fleece inner, and our inserts are a blend of microfiber and bamboo. Previously I had been using microfiber inserts. In the couple months I've been using cloth diapers I have found there are pros and cons to each. The microfiber are quite bulky and we double them up for overnight. No leaks, but REALLY bulky diaper. The "micro boo" are thinner and seemingly more dense, which makes for a more trim fit. However, they are smoother and sort of "floppy" which means that when we put Des in a new diaper we have to flatten out the insert first. We learned that after an unexpected leak. I haven't noticed any different in absorbency between the two but I've read the bamboo is much more absorbent than microfiber.

Aside from a few learning moments (aka user error) we have had no leaks, even overnight. I'm also using wet bags from JSB and we did try out some of their cloth wipes. They are a little too thick for us, made from two layers of flannel. We are also using their cloth safe diaper cream, which works great!

We have also tried Fuzzibunz brand diapers-which I like, but don't see much reason to spend so much more on them, Knickernappies- which we didn't like. I think part of that was a sizing issue, but we also weren't a fan of the front snapping around the sides (reverse from most diapers), and a couple other brands, one of which had a PUL outer and a cotton "prefold" type inner which we didn't like at all.

The Just Simply Baby diapers that we are using are by far our favorites. The diapers are all "one size" with plenty of snaps to adjust from newborn to toddler. They are almost always running a fabulous daily deal. Not to mention, if you "like" their page on Facebook, you'll be sure to catch their awesome giveaways and contests. I actually won a recent contest with these two pattern entries. When they print new patterns I'll receive a free diaper in each of these!

I've also joined their affiliate program, which is good news for you because I have a 10% discount code good for your first Just Simply Baby order! Using this code means you'll receive 10% off of your entire order, even if you're purchasing already discounted items or a package deal.

Be sure to enter my referral code at check out and you will receive your 10% as a refund after your order is processed. Pretty easy! Best of ALL is they have 30-day money back guarantee, even if you've used the diapers. That's better than any other deal I've seen out there. All you are lost on is shipping costs (FYI they do not take returns on cloth wipes or opened diaper creams).

That's the update on where we are in our cloth diapering journey so far. We have been experimenting with different types of cloth wipes and last week Ben installed a diaper sprayer. More on how those things are going for us when we've had a little more experience. Number one, we are saving money every month!

Although I am part of Just Simply Baby's affiliate program, this is a non-sponsored review. I did not receive any items nor perks for posting this review of their product. I did contact Just Simply Baby and received their images/logos and permissions to use them for this post.

oh yeah, potty training...

2013-04-30T20:08:00.003-07:00

It's totally not my thing to talk about my kids and their potty training (learning, etc...whatever you want to call it). I don't particularly enjoy facebook status updates about other peoples' kids and what they've done in the toilet...so I don't share about mine.

However, I do want to talk about the process a bit for sake of keeping record (as that is the primary reason I blog) and for those wondering what it's like for others. Especially in difficult situations like ours.

A tiny bit of back story- Malakai showed interest in going potty at 18 months. (Desmond is doing the same). Unfortunately he had a hernia and we had to quit until after his surgery to correct it 5 months later. We tried again after he turned 2 but he just wasn't interested, and our pediatrician advised us that if he wasn't able to stay dry through nap time, that he wasn't physically ready anyhow. She also said that if he didn't care about being clean, we'd also be wasting our time. 2 strikes against us, so we waited.

Once Kai turned 3 we tried several times but backed off once it became a power struggle, and it always did. We did charts with stickers and treats for using the toilet. None of it lasted for more than a week. He filled up a chart with stickers for using the toilet while still in pull-ups but it went nowhere after that.

Then we went straight to underwear a few times and he did better, but the power struggle would still come into play. Another big issue is that he wouldn't want to stop playing to go potty. We tried reminders and songs and setting timers and none of it helped for long enough to matter.

I listened to an MP3 audio at the height of my frustration a couple months ago, by Love and Logic. It was only $5 and I highly recommend it. Way quicker than reading a whole book and more realistic and helpful than any blogger who promises you can train your kiddo in a weekend.

I learned to back off, use empathy when he had accidents, and let him be in control of the process. I took deep breaths through some really frustrating accidents and setbacks and loved him no matter how badly I wanted to stop spending money on pull-ups... and he did it. He owned it and is doing so great. When he did have accidents during that time we'd just simply say "what a bummer, you can help me clean that up and we can try again." or "that's too bad, maybe you aren't quite ready for underwear yet, and that's okay." Those phrases seemed to motivate him more, especially when the alternative was having to wear pull-ups during the day (he didn't always care about wearing pull-ups but finally grew to prefer underwear).

He still needs an occasional reminder or incentive, but 90% of the time he manages it himself with no problems. For incentives, I don't mean a treat or a sticker, but just simple things like "I'll get out the markers after you take a potty break!" or let's pause your show and you can finish after you go potty." Works way better than chocolate chips for us.

Next is tackling staying dry overnight. He's in pull-ups at night, even though he wants to be in underwear, because I know he's not physically ready. I let him know that he can get up to go potty any time after bed and that once he wakes up with a dry pull-up in the morning he can wear underwear the next night.

So, if you find yourself in a rut with potty training, back off...let go of control and let your kiddo show you what he/she is capable of!

Cloth Diapering- 2 weeks in

2013-04-22T20:56:00.000-07:00

So we made the switch to cloth diapers and grew to really prefer it for a number of reasons. However, we are back to disposables for the time being. I'll tell you why...

First, I got my order of pocket diapers and inserts. We had a leak with the first one which I attribute to user error as I tried to figure out where to snap for them to fit Desmond well. After that we had no leaks with those diapers, day or night.

I did a lot of research on washing and detergents to find what would be best for us and the most cost effective. I landed on Charlie's Soap, which we have now switched to for all our laundry. It's super cheap per load and rinses out clean with no residue. It's a bit of work at first because while you are ridding your clothes and washing machine of detergent build-up you have to "wash your washer" before each cloth diaper load. There is some bad PR about Charlie's Soap, some claim it has given their children blisters. BUT if you follow their directions this shouldn't be an issue. The blistering is actually caused from not washing your washer for the first few weeks and having old detergent build-up gather on the diapers. We have had zero problems with Charlie's Soap.

Then I wanted more diapers, but for cheaper. I loathe paying shipping but the cheapest diapers online seem to have the heftiest shipping rates. I grabbed a small stash of second hand diapers in a variety of brands. I was glad to try out different ones to see if we liked any better. I stripped and washed and rinsed, and rinsed, and rinsed. We have soft water, very soft water, so a lot of rinsing is necessary around here. I bought the diapers through a facebook swap and sale group locally, the seller was super friendly and gave me a good deal, but she turned out to be a bit strange when Ben stopped to make the purchase. I won't go into the details, but I won't be going that route again. She also was either lying about sizes, or just didn't know what she was talking about. A couple of the diapers were too big so we had some leaks. Trial and error I guess, no biggie.

Then, last week our washing machine died. In the middle of a cloth diaper rinse. Ew, ew, ew. I tried and tried to force the washer to drain the icky water but couldn't. So I pulled all the diapers out and threw them in an empty storage tote. Then attempted several times to wash them in the bath tub, and in the tote. They seemed to come clean but I noticed there was some build up in the tabs of the diapers. I was thoroughly grossed out. I had hoped that perhaps this was something that was coming out in the wash but I just couldn't do by hand.

I looked all over online for help and found very little. I did run across a few forums where they discussed what they coined "poo lint". I was even more grossed out. I grabbed a clean diaper for Desmond's room and found that it too had the lint in it still! (I'll spare you the photos) Even with tweezers and turning the diaper inside out, I couldn't get it all. BLEGH! I don't understand why the tabs aren't just sewn off so that any build up can be rinsed easily by turning the diaper inside out. Seems like common sense to me.

I cringe at the thought of not making this discovery had our washing machine not broken down (thanks to my cousin it is up and running again- an errant wash cloth had gotten into the pump). I think a diaper sprayer will get rid of the majority of this problem as it would eliminate all solid waste from going in the wash, but I still plan on returning these diapers (I am within my 30 days) and informing the company of what I find to be a design flaw.

I will order elsewhere, or order the same ones again (as the price is right!) and just sew off the tabs myself to remedy the issue. I'd much rather start over with a clean lot then try to tear apart and reassemble the ones that shouldn't have had this problem in the first place (end rant).

Still, with all that mess, I do prefer cloth diapering and we plan to continue our efforts until Desmond is ready to potty train.

What we like about cloth diapering:

saving money-our main reason for switching after nearly 4 years of disposables.
Des seems more comfortable in them
less stink (for real, I have to do a visual check to see if Des needs changed)
cuter....WAY cuter.
customizable absorbency- we do 1 insert during the day and for naps, 2 for overnight. no leaks and no rash. We were buying 2 types of disposables because Des is a heavy night time wetter. He STILL had leaks in the disposable overnight diapers.
disposable liners. Desmond is pretty "regular" so since we don't yet have a diaper sprayer I just throw a flushable liner in his diaper and can toss the majority of his poo in the toilet.
better fit all around, we used one size diapers so they are custom fit easily with snaps
Des can't get his diaper off. The snaps are so heavy duty he can't take them off himself.
easier clean up- even a messy diaper cleans up easier off Desmond's skin in cloth.

What we don't love about cloth diapering:

having to answer to those who are skeptical (dear everyone, I make my choices, you make yours. Let's not judge each other...ok? ok. )
the start up costs, they seem high but turn out to be worth it over the long term.
accessories. It seems as though to make cloth diapering as "easy" as using disposables there are a lot of accessories, which can drive up the cost (and the research, and the frustration...) i.e. diaper sprayers, cloth wipes, cloth safe ointment or cream, spray bottles for wipes, wet bags, laundry soap, etc.
not having a diaper sprayer (yet).
having a small stash- while I don't mind doing laundry that often it's finding ourselves short all of a sudden and needing to do an emergency load of laundry or supplement with disposables (which we had on hand anyway).

So for us, the pros surely outweigh the cons. Not just in number, but in value.

I'd be happy to answer any cloth diapering questions for a newbie. I'm NO expert but I've done a fair amount of research and I, myself really value the newbie perspective as it's harder to find than the expert advise.

More to come, when we get our new stash and start cloth diapering again!

Desmond Lee: 18 months

2013-04-12T14:23:00.002-07:00

Desmond is officially a year and a half old as of April 10th. He's such a big boy in so many ways! I thought it would be fun to do a comparison with Kai at this age (since I haven't done one in a while).

In these photos the boys are wearing the same hoodie, jeans, and boots. Des is slightly bigger than Kai was at this age, but not by a ton. I can't find Kai's 18 month stats to compare though. Malakai is on the left and Desmond on the right. I didn't pose Des, I just snapped pictures and then found the ones of Kai that looked the most similar in pose...

{picking up things and investigating them}

{walking around on the deck}

{squatting to reach things: not easy to do in boots}

{carrying things around and loving it}

Desmond is 33 inches tall (62%), 26lbs 11.5oz (63%). From memory I'm pretty sure Kai was not in the 60th percentile for height at this age. We often wonder if Des will surpass Kai in height, much like Ben and his younger brother.

One of the most notable things about Desmond's development is his speech and comprehension. (I'm in no way bragging here, just documenting). When the pediatrician asked how many words he could say, we had a really hard time answering. I explained that he can say almost any word you ask him to. She asked how many words he is not just repeating, but comprehends. What's funny, is that it's often evident that he comprehends them almost instantly based on his use of them again in reference to the object not only right then but in the future. I'm totally crediting Ben with handing down these skills as he is able to understand things quickly as well. Me? I am super visual and pretty hands on so I need examples and trial + error to really learn most things.

So- his most common used words and phrases are:

"Malakai" or "Kai"
"Mama"
"Daddy"
"nana" (banana"
"bagel"
"milk"
"cup"
"water"
"cookie"
"cracker"
"snack"
"pizza"
"sammich" (sandwich)
...noticing a trend here? Our boy likes to eat.
"up"
"hold you"
"help you?"
"no"
"yeah" or "yes"
"Cooz, Cooz" (Blue's Clues)
"ponies"
....just about every animal and their sound.
"my turn"
"thank you"
"welcome"(often said as "thank you- welcome")
"peez" (please)
"all done"
"more"
"cereal"
"I want it"
"I need it"
"have it"
"nuggle" (snuggle)
"read it"
"legos"
"wub you" (love you)
"happy" (how he refers to the "You are my sunshine" song/book)
"window"
"i-pod"
"cuh-yuh" (color)
"baff" (bath"
"nuh-night"
"cars"
"truck"
"Bye-bye"

and the list goes on.

He's becoming more and more independent, which has caused some obvious problems when it comes to playing with his brother. They start off okay at sharing most of the time, but it always turns into a struggle or a fight.

He is still enamored with climbing (as he has been since 6 months of age). He is obviously much better at it. We had to start using a sleep sack at 15 months old because he was climbing out of his crib on it's lowest setting. The sleep sack has already bought us 3 month and we're hoping for 2-6 more before we have to make the toddler bed transition. He often climbs to the top of our dining room table, always in 2 seconds flat.

He is super interested in potty learning. I'm sure it's from watching Malakai learn. He has actually used the toilet a handful of times. One day he went 3 times. We have him go every night before bath but we aren't putting any pressure on him, we've learned (the hard way) to be laid back about it.

We started cloth diapering really recently and I'll be sharing more on that soon. So far Desmond hasn't even seemed to notice a difference, thankfully!

Des is our snuggler. He loves the song/book "You Are My Sunshine" and asks for it by saying "happy?". He blows kisses whenever anyone says loves you or kisses. He miraculously puts himself to sleep for 2-3 hours at nap time but struggles to do so at bed time. So much so that over the last 3 months he refuses to let me put him to bed at night, and will only sleep if Ben cradles him to sleep. He adamantly refuses to go down "drowsy but awake" and often struggles to soothe himself when he wakes in the middle of the night, although that's improving.

He loves pointing out animals and saying their names and the sounds they make. He is obsessed with Kai's room and trying to stand on the bed to look out the window. He loves to "read" and be read to. He's mastered the art of building a lego tower and he loves to color with crayons and markers. He knows a handful of signs, and always says the phrase while doing the signs.

Like I mentioned before, he LOVES to eat. His favorite is bananas. He will often ask for cookies because I shared one with him ONCE. He gets super cranky if we are late on snacks or meals and then is instantly happy again when he gets to eat. The only foods he isn't fond of lately are meats, which I think are a texture thing. If he's anything like Kai in this regard, I don't know if he'll ever eat chicken.

He's fairly mellow but is starting to exert himself when he wants something. He's been known to throw his weight around when throwing a fit, which is not a pretty sight. Otherwise he's super sweet, and I can't get enough of watching him grow.

Converting to Cloth

2013-04-02T14:51:00.002-07:00

In our continued efforts to cut our spending in order to focus on saving money we've decided to try out cloth diapering. It only took us about 2 years to come to this decision. We considered it briefly before Kai was born, but Ben vetoed the idea. His biggest problem was the poo going in the washing machine. 4 years later, we both laugh at that being worrisome.

When Kai was about a year old we considered it again. I really looked into the savings, but again Ben wasn't too keen on the idea. I also, wasn't completely sold. I was worried that the amount of laundry I'd be doing would negate any savings. I was also used to the convenience of disposable diapers. The real clincher was that I ended up babysitting a child who was cloth diapered and I was completely turned off to the idea. The smell of the diapers and the rash that the child had were repulsive.

A couple weeks ago Ben and I were crunching numbers and moaning at how much we were still spending on disposable diapers. Even now that Malakai is (FINALLY) potty-trained we still spend about $75 every 4-6 weeks on Desmond's diapers and overnight pull-ups for Malakai. I'm currently looking into cloth overnight undies for Malakai. At $30 a pair, I'd like to figure out how to sew my own (or recruit my Mother-in-law!) before going in that direction.

I emailed a friend from college who has a little guy the same age as Desmond (check out her blog here). I knew that she'd been cloth diapering and was knowledgeable on the subject. I trust her opinion and was hoping to get better information from a friend than what I was finding scouring the internet. INFORMATION OVERLOAD! Amanda was a great help. Additionally I asked friends through facebook to share their favorite kinds. Then I crunched the numbers of half a dozen different trial programs.

I decided to go with Just Simply Baby. They had a great deal on a starter package of 10 pocket diapers, 20 inserts, 10 cloth wipes, a detergent sample, and cloth safe diaper cream for under $90. I got free shipping by adding 2 wet bags to my order and meeting the $100 minimum. They have a 30 day money back guarantee so I knew that I could send it all back if we weren't satisfied or if we decide cloth diapering doesn't work for us. Currently they are running a $10 diaper deal!

My second choice would be the trial through Jillian's Drawers. They send several types for you to try out at a fairly low cost. You can then send back any or all of them after 21 days. Your next order then ships free!

I just got our package today and have it all prepping as I type. I'm pretty excited to start something new and I'm really hopeful it'll work out and we can start saving!

I received a trial amount of EcoSprout detergent to use, but need to figure out an affordable option for use after it runs out. Any tips, tricks, or products you'd recommend or NOT recommend? Leave a comment!

the bad news, and the good news

2013-04-01T11:25:00.002-07:00

I've alluded to something pretty big going on in our family over the last couple of months. I've clarified that I am not pregnant, and once again...no, I'm not and don't plan to be for quite some time. So there's that.

On January 15th my mom went in for a mammogram and the radiologist saw something. He told her he was almost certain that it was cancer. My mom is only 51 and quite healthy. There was a lot of testing, and a LOT of waiting. She had ultrasounds, MRI's, and a biopsy. We found out about 10 days after the mammogram that the lump was in fact cancer.

I never knew how much waiting is involved with breast cancer. I was surprised that we wouldn't even find out the stage of her cancer until after surgery, when they'd run tests on the tumor. My mom had about a million doctor's appointments for testing, results, and the like.

All of us were pretty quiet about it all, but still doing what we could to support her and hold it all together. I found myself proclaiming God's favor over our family and finding His peace to be most comforting when things should have felt chaotic.

This card is from a message that was preached at the exact right time for what our family is going through. I posted this in our home and claimed these truths. I prayed this prayer often over my mom, and over many other situations that have cropped up over the last few months because, when it rains- it pours.

February 15th my mom went in for a lumpectomy to remove the cancer. Ben's mom stayed with the boys and I went to wait with my siblings and my dad. My mom's sister, brother-in-law, and one of my cousins came for a time as well. Surgery was successful, but it's always so painful to see someone you love in such a state and know that what they are going through and about to move into is going to be painful.

I set up meals to be brought over while she recovered. Thanks again to those of you who may read this and made a dinner for my mom, dad and siblings. It was a huge blessing over them to be able to focus on her recovery and the road ahead.

After surgery we waited to find out more about her tumor. They also removed lymph nodes to test them for cancer. If they had been affected, then the stage of her cancer would be higher and the treatment more aggressive as it would indicate the cancer had moved through her lymph system to other parts of her body. She would most definitely need chemo. No matter the results, she would need radiation treatments to prevent the cancer from returning.

11 days after surgery my mom and I went to meet with her surgeon for results. Her cancer was staged low and the lymph nodes were negative. PRAISE GOD! Dr. F referred her to the oncologists that would take over her treatment from there.

Over all of this we had throngs of people praying over my mom. The prayer team from my church, all sorts of friends, and family, and our small group have been lifting her up. I have a handful of people that I can text whenever I have a prayer request and know that they will deliver. We have been so blessed by this.

Thanks specifically to my mother in law Debbie for making a care package for my mom and watching the boys extra, and to Liz for watching my boys during a couple of appointments.

About once or twice a week I'd accompany her to meet with one of her 2 oncologists. In early March we met her Medical Oncologist and found out there was still a possibility of chemo. Neither of us were expecting that. Of course there was another test to run and more waiting.

While we waited on that, we met with her Radiation Oncologist the next week about the course of treatment for radiation, which was a definite. The nurse told us all about the radiation treatments, but none of what she said would pertain to my mom as she is a candidate for balloon catheter radiation. She lives in a rural area outside town and the regular radiation treatments would be once a day, every day, for 6 weeks. The balloon radiation treatments involve an implant that she'd have for a week and she'd go in for treatments twice a day for 5 days. The side effects of the radiation are also lessened. She opted for the balloon radiation, which she would also do prior to chemo (if needed) instead of after.

March 21st we went back in to meet with her Medical Oncologist and her test came back low, meaning no chemo! The doctor told us he was surprised that the numbers were so low. Prayer works people. She will be on hormone therapy, in pill form, for the rest of her life. With that, the radiation, negative lymph nodes, and the successful surgery the likely hood of the cancer returning in the next 5-10 years is only 6%, which he assured us is very good. She would only need to see him again to make sure she was doing well on the hormone therapy after she finished radiation.

So, today she starts her radiation treatments. She went in this morning and will go back again this afternoon. Please pray for her through this and over the course of her treatment and recovery. We are confident that God has answered our prayers and will continue to do so. Pray for her energy and that she has no complications from the catheter or otherwise.

Please pray for me. I'm 31, annual mammograms start at age 40 but now I've been advised to go in this summer and get screened. My mom's surgeon made a comment that when breast cancer affects women in their 20's and 30's that it is much more aggressive and harder to treat. He was talking about her, trying to reassure her but he scared both of us about my sister and I. Once again, I'm proclaiming God's favor over us.

That has been what I've been doing in my free time. I've been wanting to blog more here as my sons grow and are doing remarkable and hilarious things, as great things are happening all around us as well (see my February recap), but my time is precious and I haven't had much of it to sit at a computer and really update. I'm hoping that changes soon. I'd love to do a March recap before April is over, and I am especially looking forward to posting some Easter photos of my little boys.

February 2013

2013-03-19T13:47:00.000-07:00

I can hardly believe spring is here...I mean, where did February even go?

Here is a bit of a recap of how last month went for us....

On the 2nd, Ben turned 28. We celebrated by going out to breakfast, but then after nap I headed up to Portland. I had a bachelorette to attend, and my sweet husband gave me the go ahead to miss the evening of his birthday for it. I'm telling you, he's one generous and patient man.

I had a blast at Carina's bachelorette and felt about 10 years younger, if only for an hour while we were out dancing. I also started a 2 week vacation. I figured I was going to be away from my job for 2 weekends, I might as well take off the days in between and spend some focused time with my boys. It was WONDERFUL.

The next day, I headed back home as soon as I could to continue Ben's birthday weekend celebration. After the boys woke up from nap we headed to Ben's parents for a Superbowl/Bday party for Ben. Just a little party with both of our immediate families.

The following weekend was THE wedding. Carina and Reid's big day was one of my favorites of all time. Ben and I left the kids home with his parents for the entire weekend (which was a first and made me nervous- mostly because of their sleep habits). We stayed at my High School best friend's place and had a great time catching up with her and her husband. We had the rehearsal, dinner and then stayed up late talking with Linds and Adam before crashing and then SLEEPING IN (glorious!).

Then February 9th, Ben dropped me off at the Crystal Ballroom and I dove into the preparations that were already underway (While Ben cavorted around Portland by himself, and thoroughly enjoyed it). Things moved quickly and the wedding started just after 5pm, beautiful ceremony, cocktail hour, dancing, dinner, dancing. Ben and I had a really fun night, and we realized it was the first time we really danced together. I passed out shortly after we got back and then the next morning we were off to visit a Portland church and we even ate lunch before rushing home to our boys. It was so good for us, our marriage, our kids...our whole family. The boys did GREAT and Ben and I felt rejuvenated and were so relieved to discover that our children didn't disintegrate without us.

A few days later we took the boys to see Liz's lambs. They get bummers every year and invite everyone to come out for a feeding to see them. I love it just as much as the kiddos do. Ben was there, he just did all the photo taking...

All month we had about a million different types of appointments that kept us quite busy (more on that later and NO I am not pregnant again, haha). Then I came down with some weird stomach thing (yes, I'm SURE I'm not pregnant) and then the next day Ben was out with the stomach flu. Then we had some sort of food poisoning a few weeks later. Hm, perhaps my cooking is killing us slowly.

The weather was randomly dry and sunny and we spent some afternoons and weekends outside. We mostly let the boys play, even though we have a LOT of yard work to catch up on.

Malakai went back and forth with potty-training all month and I wanted to tear my hair out or throw him a party a handful of different times. Yeah, it's been a roller coaster ride.

Desmond is talking up a storm, he started repeating just about anything he hears. He's such a little parrot in that regard. He also LOVES to mimic anything Kai does, so we've had a lot of talks with Malakai about setting a good example for his brother. Good example- cleaning up toys, playing gently. Bad example, running around and literally bouncing off the walls, climbing chairs to reach things on tables. Sigh.

Things at work have been different for both Ben and I. I don't really like to go into details about our workplace joys or woes too much here, so I'll just leave it at that. We are both gainfully employed and while it's often a struggle to make ends meet due to our long term debt (we have ZERO debt outside of our home and student loans, but those 2 things are more than ENOUGH), God always provides somehow and we are able to make it work.

So...that was our February, a short month packed with more activity than should actually fit.

Hello Again

2013-03-17T13:51:00.001-07:00

Yes- we still exist.
I can hardly believe that so many days have passed since I've posted last.
Our lives have been turned upside down in half a dozen ways since we rang in the New Year. It's not quite time for me to share about those things here- but soon I will try to update on everything.
For now, I'm home in bed with some weird flu thing and just taking it easy.
Be back soon.
Shan

Day Trippers: Gold Lake Sno-Park

2013-01-26T21:43:00.001-08:00

Nearly a month ago we put today's "SNOW DAY" on our calendars in an effort to make sure it actually happened this year. Eugene, Oregon doesn't get a lot of snow but thankfully we don't have very far to go to find some.

Last night we checked the weather report and were really sad to find out that our favorite spot (see also: a place we went once when we were dating) was supposed to be rainy. We checked out another place further away and decided to make the call first thing in the morning. This morning we were thrilled to find that Gold Lake (near Willamette Pass) had 2 new inches of snow and was too cold for rain!

We did not get out nearly as early as we had hoped, but getting 2 kids (one of which was super cranky- Malakai!) and 4 people worth of snow clothes, extra clothes, food, and other supplies isn't a quick task. We pretty much always run late when we don't have a strict time that we have to be somewhere.

We arrived at Gold Lake Sno-Park (I didn't forget the "w"that's the actual spelling.) just before noon and began getting the boys and ourselves suited up. We borrowed some of our snow gear and a vehicle from my in-laws (thanks Ron + Debbie!) and pieced it together with what we had. Like I said, we don't get much snow. Malakai looked absolutely adorable in Ben's childhood snow suit...

Those of you who know Malakai or follow me on Instagram may be familiar with his anti-clothing ways. I got him to wear the snow suit by first, reading The Snowy Day the night before and comparing Peter's red snow suit to this one; and second, he wasn't allowed to get out of the car and go into the snow until he was properly dressed. Worked like a charm, except he refused to wear the hood after the first few photos. You win some, you lose some.

Once we got all bundled up we headed up the cross-country skiing/snow shoeing trail to find a clear spot off the track to play. We didn't go far, which was nice because without the proper gear you sink a lot and Desmond is SUPER heavy.

The weather was perfection. A light dusting of snow falling here and there, fresh powder all over, no wind and some sun breaks. Gorgeous.

Des loved playing on his tummy in the snow, so random. Malakai insisted on making "Frosty" and then snow angels- all his own ideas.

After the snowman and angels were made we explored the snow bank on the other side of the trail. I was so afraid that we'd sink into oblivion if we stepped into it. Ben and Kai tested it out and it was just fine, and super fun to play in.

Kai said, "looka me! I'm in the snow bank!" He kept wanting to climb to the top so Ben tested that out too and it was fine. Up they went...

We had an absolute amazing time. Our day could not have gone any better. The boys were in great moods (once we were out the door), totally thrilled about the snow, but easy going when it was time to leave.

We ate lunch in the warming lodge and listened in on the interesting conversations of the ski-patrol guys hanging out there. The boys didn't last long on the ride home before the fell asleep, Ben included.

Malakai was super sad that we were done with our "snow day" when we got back, but he snapped out of it alright. I hope we can make this an annual trip!

life as we know it

2013-01-16T20:47:00.001-08:00

The title of my blog has never been more true than now. It seems that we are taking on a new endeavor and fighting a new fight on a weekly basis. I keep finding myself asking God to guide us, give us wisdom, give us peace.

Not to say that everything is bad, but we've had a lot of challenges and I've shed quite a few tears recently. I know that I am under severe attack as I continue to strengthen my knowledge of God and my service to His kingdom. The enemy does not like it, which is a good thing but a very very hard thing.

I am so thankful for the support and wise counsel that I find in Ben, we are such a great team these days and we are finding that in these storms we are becoming more and more solid in our marriage. I could not have asked for a better man to have at my side and as the head of our little family.

Our boys are finally healthy. Desmond got over his cough quite a while ago and Malakai is just finishing up antibiotics for a cough that lasted over a month. When I bought the meds last week the generic cost us $99! That was even after Target reduced it for us (it was $165). Ben's work just switched over insurance and because it was only a week into the new year we didn't have the cards. Thankfully the guy working at the pharmacy was super helpful, gave us everything we needed to process a refund once we had the insurance information. We got over half of our money back- praise!

My broken toe is finally feeling somewhat normal. I am easing myself back into normal footwear (I've been exclusively wearing my knock-off "Uggs" for the last 5 weeks) and I'm trying to not wrap it, but I'm not sure if it's too early. I've never had a broken bone so I don't really know what I'm doing here.

Our schedule has been fairly light in comparison to the holidays and it feels so nice. My house is {mostly} clean and organized and I feel like I've got a routine to keeping on top of the mess, well, at least in the kitchen. Currently there are two baskets of clean laundry behind me, waiting to be put away. I loathe putting laundry away. And...let's not even talk about the garage.

In a little over a week we are going to try to take the boys up to the mountains to play in the snow and the weekend after that is one of my best's bachelorette party in Portland and my husband's birthday! Our schedule is about to get crazy again, but perhaps it'll be a nice return to what started to become familiar after a sweet little break.

Let's Play Catch Up {December 2012}

2013-01-01T21:48:00.000-08:00

Hi. I'm Shandell. I blog here sometimes. Remember me?

Oy. It's been a long time since I've sat down and updated {again} and there is a lot to talk about...hence the not having time to blog about it.

Well- last time I posted we were smack dab in the middle of a very hectic schedule. Ben had 3+ weeks of intense practice every night for the drama at church. It didn't take long for us to figure out that when you start doing more to further the kingdom of God, that the enemy attacks. He tried hard and we were down for a bit, but we got back up. Des suddenly wouldn't go to sleep for me, but once Ben got home and held him he would be out in less than 10 minutes. We had sickness throughout the house, and I broke my toe one night just when Ben was about to leave. Amidst all that I was left to prepare for Christmas on my own. I found joy in knowing that God had good planned through it all and in the end, at least 12 people decided to walk with Jesus because of the message conveyed through the drama.

Early in the month we actually made time to go get our tree at a farm, see the fire truck light parade go by a few blocks away, and prepare for and attend a cookie exchange.

{tree farm!}

{firetruck light parade}

{a sampling of my holiday projects}

In just one month Malakai got a new bed, his first desk, and a lit Christmas tree in his room. A lot of "firsts" for this guy. He was just a "little" excited.

On December 18th we had a pretty decent snow. It was a bit wet, but it stuck and looked beautiful for about 8 hours. Kai made his first snowball, which he promptly threw at me. Then subsequent others that he threw at his brother. We also made our 1st snowman together (last year I ended up making it all on my own). Desmond loved stomping around in the snow and found himself a puddle to play in. boys.

We had a staff Christmas lunch at the church, a small group dinner that we hosted, welcomed a few new babies, and then we started Christmas celebrations early on the 22nd with Ben's side of the family.

{Pottorf Family Christmas}

Christmas Eve Malakai helped make cookies for Santa for the first time. We wrote him a letter as well. That night we usually attend the candlelight service at church but Desmond had a nasty cold so we had a quite evening. Christmas day we went 3 different places, Des was coughing so hard that day he puked 4 times (twice on me), the next day it was still so bad Ben stayed home (we were up all night). Then we had a couple days to prepare for the next round of Christmas celebrations.

{Christmas Eve Traditions: new jammies, cookies for Santa, story with daddy}

{Christmas morning stockings, Christmas evening with family}

The 29th was my birthday and on our way to a family outing Ben planned, Kai got car sick...once again, it was on me. The night of the 30th we had immediate families over for dinner to celebrate my birthday, that night Ben got sick...thankfully NOT on me. He was up all night getting sick and I was up with the boys half the night because their routine with daddy was thrown off. Even still, I enjoyed my birthday and we got through it.

{for my birthday- a pegboard for my kitchen, a necklace Kai made, boots I can't wear, and snuggles with my boys- yes Kai is asleep.}

Yesterday, New Year's Eve, we had our final Christmas gathering. Ben stayed home sick, and I took the boys for a bit. They faded fast so we left early and we were all in bed before midnight.

Today we all took it easy as Ben is still recovering from his stomach flu, and we are praying that nobody else in the house gets it next.

Needless to say, I fell behind in just about everything. House work (especially after the broken toe), Christmas prep, my part-time job at the church. I guess you could say my "resolution" for 2013 is to catch up! Now that most of our big events are out of the way I feel like I can breath and start to pick up the pieces (literally!).

I honestly feel so incredibly blessed. When I had hurt my foot I had family come over a few nights and help me with the boys while Ben was at play practice. Between Christmas and my birthday, we were showered with gifts. Not just material things, but gifts of presence and love as well.

2012 surely made itself known in our family's history books and I'm looking forward to the blessings and lessons that 2013 will hold for us.

current challenges

2012-12-12T11:54:00.001-08:00

Over the last 3 weeks Ben has been gone each weeknight after dinner for play rehearsal. He has a lead in this year's drama at our church. We know that this is something he is called to do and that God will use it for much good, but it has been one of our biggest challenges to date.

The 1st couple nights were a breeze. The boys went to sleep and I worked on Christmas projects. As the nights progressed it got harder to get Desmond to sleep. He went a week and a half refusing to go to bed for me. Eventually I'd give up and let him stay up til Ben got home. 10 minutes of time with daddy and he passed out. On Sunday night Des fell asleep on the changing table for Ben after fighting me for hours. Needless to say, I've felt pretty useless.

Over the weekend Kai showed the effects of missing daddy or the first time. He broke down crying when he has to say goodbye after church (2 rehearsals that day). Ben and I were both heartbroken.

Monday night I broke my toe (I'll save the details), which obviously added a new level of difficulty to my nighttime parenting struggles. I insisted Ben still go to practice and I'd call on my family if need be. I took it slow, skipped bath and let the boys watch TV before bed. Totally not our normal routine and they both went to sleep by 8pm. God surely answered my prayers (and some of yours) and it was one of the easiest nights I've had in weeks ...except for the broken toe thing.

Last night was extremely rough. Desmond refused to sleep. Long story short, he was up til Ben got home at 10:30pm. I was so discouraged and totally exhausted. We finally realized that we are under attack because of our choices to increase our ministry. It's obvious that the enemy does not approve of Ben's service to this play and it's potential to encourage Christ followers and reach lost souls.

I'm not sharing this to seem like some sort of martyr, but to keep it real. I share struggles here to chronicle the ups and downs of our lives and to avoid anyone thinking we have it all together, a misconception that seems to happen a lot on social media. I also share to encourage and recruit prayers for us as I believe that God will answer them and use this struggle for His glory and our good.

encouraging independence

2012-11-29T08:41:00.000-08:00

Sometimes it's hard to encourage independence in little ones. I can't remember when I handed over the spoon at mealtime with Malakai for the first time, but last week I decided to give it a go with Desmond. It was some sort of fluke, he was a total natural and didn't make much of a mess. So daily I'll let him feed himself his yogurt, applesauce, etc. and he's done pretty good. It has gotten messy but yesterday morning took the cake.

His cereal was everywhere. I tried to take the spoon at one point when I realized he wasn't eating so much as playing and the kiddo swung it so hard and fast that the food starting flying all over the place. I felt like I was in some sort of cheesy sitcom, it was so dramatic. Des even growled...which is actually really normal for him.

Anyway, I finally got the spoon back and I think I got all the food off the walls. Unfortunately he was so wild in the bath last night that I didn't end up washing his hair. Worse things have happened.

taking more "real" photos

2012-11-27T14:25:00.002-08:00

Since joining the world of smart-phone users last spring the amount I use an actual camera has been rapidly decreasing. Oddly enough, it's also a factor in my blogging less. Here's why...

It's obviously more convenient to capture the candid moments with my phone because it's always close by and easier to grab off the kitchen countertop or table. We keep the DSLR in a much safer place, which means it's not quickly accessible.

Another factor is that since Desmond was born I've had far less time to "play dress-up" and take photos like I did when Kai was a baby. Less time, and the fact that Kai prefers to be mostly naked unless we are leaving the house (and even then it's a struggle).

I don't have the greatest camera on my phone, it's far better than what I used to have, but still not great for sharing photos on my blog. Since my phone is primarily how I take photos these days, I have less photos that are good enough to share here. Plus, with instagram, most of my photos are already going out to all my family and friends that would read here anyway.

I really would love to take more "real" photos, not only to blog but to have better quality photos now and down the road to look back on, print, or send.

So, here it is- I'm vowing to take more photos with an actual camera and hopefully I'll get around to sharing them too!

The Holidays are upon us

2012-11-21T19:59:00.000-08:00

It's that time of year again. I love it. It's easy to get cynical about the commercialism of the season and how stores are putting out their Christmas decor earlier and earlier each year. This year, I choose to soak it up and enjoy it.

Part of how I do this is I don't go shopping. I avoid going to the store in the months of November + December at all costs. Some of our Christmas shopping has been done for a few months, and the rest will be done online. I know there are a lot more shoppers like me out there, avoid the crowds and the stress and just shop from the comfort of your own home. So, when my mom told me about Ebates, I was pretty excited about the added benefits to doing something I do all the time anyway!

Many of you have probably heard of Ebates, but if not, it's too good a secret to keep. After signing up (and there are often great bonuses for doing so- I got a $10 Target card), you just click through Ebates to your favorite stores and when you make purchases you get a percentage in cash back. Simple, and not strings attached. You don't have to sign up for obnoxious email newsletters (but you can if you want the daily double notices), you don't have to pay any fees, you just shop through their site and the send you money back. The percentage varies from store to store and right now many of them are upping their cash back for the holiday season, so check it out!

What's more is that after you've made your 1st purchase you start getting incentives to share Ebates with friends. I shared on Facebook and because a friend bought through my link I'll get $25 cash. Super easy, what's not to love?

Let me know if you check it out and if you have any questions.
Happy shopping!

brothers and playmates

2012-11-08T08:00:00.000-08:00

Over the past couple weeks Desmond has made leaps and bounds developmentally. It's like he morphed into a toddler overnight. Not only does he act bigger, but he looks bigger. Walking around with confidence, doing big boy stuff. It is killing Ben + I that he's not a baby anymore (and no, that doesn't mean it's time for another one!).

Desmond has now mastered climbing on the couch and in the same day he walked across the couch and straight onto the end table. YIKES!

One of the best parts of watching Desmond grow up is his ability to play with Malakai. Until very recently they could play near each other, but rarely with each other. When Kai did try to play with Des, it didn't usually turn out so well for the little guy.

On Sundays after church services we feed the boys lunch in the nursery so that when they fall asleep on the drive home we don't have to wake them to feed them. We've done this since Kai was a baby. This past weekend it was just the boys and I as Ben had a meeting. Once they finished eating they played
while I cleaned up.

Kai climbed onto a rocking horse and then said he had to find one for Desmond. He grabbed the other from an adjoining room and pulled it next to his. For the next 10 minutes they were singing "ride, ride, ride, riiiiiiide!" while giggling and rocking on the horses side-by-side:

{killer smiles}

Later that evening Kai asked to play with his spider-man car. When I brought it in I expected to have to put it away within a few minutes because he tends to get too rowdy with big toys. Instead, while he was sitting on it Desmond came up behind him and started pushing. They were both laughing so hard and spent quite some time going back and forth in the living room.

I love watching them create a bond as playmates. Malakai has finally grasped the concept of taking care of (rather than destroying) his little brother. On Monday when Des was fussing in his crib (because I was moving laundry and he's obsessed with following me into the garage), Kai sat next to him and said "It's okay, I'm here." Melt.My.Heart.

Crockpot Teriyaki Chicken

2012-11-07T13:20:00.003-08:00

Years ago a good friend of mine (Jamie, who I've referenced several times here, and many of you know) made us a teriyaki chicken and rice dinner that was to DIE for. When she offered to make a meal after Malakai was born Ben requested it specifically- same for when we had Desmond.

I don't have her recipe, and I don't think I could make it quite like hers anyhow, but I went searching for my own slowcooker recipe. I found this one on Pinterest and usually just change it to use what I have on hand. For example, I NEVER have red wine vinegar or ground ginger so I just leave those out and it still turns out delicious.

Here is my adaptation of this recipe, which is currently in my crockpot for tonight's dinner.

Ingredients-
2-3 boneless skinless chicken breasts (I toss them in straight from the freezer)
1/2 cup soy sauce
1/2 cup sugar
1 tsp. minced garlic
2 Tbs. oil (take it or leave it)

(Note: Jamie makes hers less spicy for us, but I'm pretty sure she usually includes sriracha sauce)

Directions-
Place the chicken in the slow cooker. Mix the rest of the ingredients in a small bowl, pour it over the chicken. Cook on low for 8 or high for 4 hours. I usually do the latter because often I forget that I want to do a crock pot dinner until around lunch time. Mornings are a bit nutty around here, I often don't get my coffee until we've been up for 3-4 hours.

Something random: I always run my crock pot in the garage. Once our entire house (all 900 square feet) smelled of this recipe for days and I couldn't stand it. So I prepare it in the kitchen and then set it on top of my washing machine to smell up the garage. It's much more pleasant than pulling on a garlicky shirt out of the closet the next day.

Anyway, once it's done and I bring it in I throw together some rice. While the rice is cooking I take two forks to shred the chicken, sometimes right in the crockpot, sometimes I take it out and then add it back to the sauce. I stir it and let it soak up some sauce. Once the rice is done just spoon the chicken and sauce over a bed of rice.

This usually makes enough for Ben + I, plus a small portion for Kai (Des will try it for the first time tonight), and there is plenty left over for Ben's lunch the following day. It is still very yummy as a leftover. It's also incredible with a side of roasted or stir fried green beans, which is how Jamie served it to us that first time.

Enjoy!

Kai's 1st ER trip...

2012-11-06T09:00:00.000-08:00

A while back we had taken Kai in to urgent care for a sprained ankle, but we haven't had any issues since then. Saturday we had no obligations to do anything or be anywhere, so we decided to go watch the game at Ben's parents' place. When Kai got out of the car he tripped and fell onto the pavement, picked himself up and then fell again. He said he was okay and played pretty rough in the backyard afterward so we didn't worry about it.

Later the boys took a laundry basket ride through the house and almost tipped over, and Kai stretched out his arm. Then he yelled out in pain and we were frantically trying to figure out what was wrong. His arm was red and he had a small scratch so we thought maybe he scraped it on the basket. However, he was crying our periodically and he isn't usually that sensitive. We chalked it up to missing his nap earlier, but as I watched him he wasn't using his left arm at all.

{trying to cheer him up: Vanessa + David playing with glow bracelets}

I decided to call our pediatrician's office and speak with a triage nurse. She gave us some instructions to check for a dislocated shoulder or elbow but Kai wouldn't let us move him enough to really tell. When we touched him, he'd scream. So the nurse said to take him into the ER to get checked out.

Since we were away from home and it was bedtime for Desmond we decided that Ben would drop Des and I off at home and he would take Kai in. It killed me to not go and later when Kai was crying for me, I called Ben's brother David and his girlfriend Vanessa on their offer to stay with Des so I could go.

{in the waiting room with Daddy. in the exam room with Grandma}

By the time I got there I had missed the X-Ray they decided to do (because of where he claimed the pain was) and the repair of what ended up being "nursemaid's elbow" Something we didn't really expect because of where he was saying it hurt and that nobody had touched him. Apparently he had jolted it just right when on his laundry basket ride. It's amazing to me that something so small caused this issue after all the crazy falls he has had with no injury (boys!). The doctor set it before I got there and I came in to a different child. He was smiling, eating a popsicle, and using his left arm like nothing had happened. Although, he was very sleepy.

Ben and I traded places and as he headed home to Desmond, I waited with Kai and Grandma Debbie (who was visiting while on shift at the hospital) for our discharge papers. When they came the nurse joked for Kai to sign and he grabbed the pen and scribbled on the line. She was pretty surprised and it made her night. That's my funny boy!

As we were leaving the parking lot Malakai told me "That was a really nice doctor. We had a fun time." (for more quotes like this, follow @kaithoughts on instagram). He clearly wasn't traumatized by the experience, thankfully. He fell asleep about halfway home and snoozed peacefully all night.

{still wearing his glow sticks}

We are so thankful that it was a quick fix and that we don't have to deal with a 3 year old in a cast...not yet anyway!

Harvest Party 2012

2012-11-05T14:03:00.002-08:00

Last year Des was only a few weeks old on Halloween and Malakai was sick, then they both got sick. Poor littles. So we stayed in. Thankfully this year they were well over their first colds of the season and ready to play!

That morning I tried Desmond's robot costume on him for the 2nd time. This was Kai's costume when he was 15 months old.

Malakai enjoyed pushing the "buttons" and Desmond surprisingly tolerated it for quite some time.

On Halloween night we prefer to go to a local Harvest Party (we took Kai 2 years ago) and play the games to earn some candy. Then we don't feel like we have to check the candy afterwards, and we end up seeing a lot of people that we don't see often enough.

It was a miracle that Kai was wearing a costume. His Grandma Debbie made a "Jake and the Pirates" costume, just for play, but he refused to wear it that night- no surprise.

{trying it out a few days before Halloween}

When I brought out the fireman's hat he got at a safety event a while back he was suddenly interested in wearing a costume! I think it helped that the rest of us were dressed up at that point. I grabbed a rain coat and his fireman boots and we had a last minute costume! I showed him pictures on instagram all the way there of other kids dressed up and he got even more excited about the concept.

Mima and Aunt Nans met us at Camp Harlow, where the party was happening. We ran into friends and family while navigating our way through the activities. My cousin Angela got this cute picture of Desmond in his robot costume with her daughter Delia in her monkey outfit (upper left of collage); they don't look too sure of each other, but are so precious!

It was a bit overwhelming in the gym where they had games for older kids so we moved through that area quickly. After playing some games and visiting a bit, we headed over to the petting zoo. Both boys were really excited about the animals. Des loved watching the little pig and Kai was really interested in a bird and a hedgehog. He kept asking to hold them.

On our way to the parking lot Kai spotted a train ride about to take off so we all piled in for a bumpy ride around the camp and then we headed home. It was such a fun little evening for our boys and we enjoyed ourselves as well!

fall festivities

2012-10-29T20:45:00.001-07:00

This past weekend was one event after another for me and I'm still recovering. Friday night we scooped up the kiddos and went to a friend's birthday party, which happened to be just down the street. Then we woke up earlier than usual for a Saturday morning and headed out to pick up some cupcakes we had ordered from The Sassy Cupcake for their latest fundraiser.

Our next stop was the pumpkin patch, but it was raining and had been for quite some time. Unfortunately we had told Malakai about going to get a pumpkin so we didn't have much of a choice. As true Oregonians we headed out in the rain. Sadly, the horse ride out to the patch wasn't free this year, but Kai was fine checking out all the pumpkins lined up at the storefront. He and Des picked out their pumpkins and we sloshed around in the muck before piling back into the car, all cold and soggy.

Once we got home we changed out of our muddy clothes and the boys went to work coloring their pumpkins. I even gave Kai the choice of carving his if he wanted, but he preferred to draw a few faces with crayons and then try carrying it around. Desmond even colored on his a bit, but then become more interested in trying to sit on it.

Next I headed out to meet my friend Carina and her sister-in-law, Michelle, for Carina's 1st bridal fitting. She lives in Portland but had found her wedding dress down her a few months ago. It was lovely to see her in it again. Then the three of us headed out to lunch at an old favorite, Sweet Basil Thai.

{my lovely friend, Carina and some amazing pumpkin curry}

We made a stop at the mall to look for bridal party accessories and chat about what we'll each wear and what style she's going for. I also grabbed a last minute detail for my Halloween costume.

I got home late that afternoon and spent some time snuggling my boys before getting ready to head out again. Ben and I were going to a costume party, on our way out the door we realized it was the first time we've ever dressed up together.

{We went as Where's Waldo + Carmen Sandiego. The lovely bird is my friend Liz, and the hostess of the most fabulous parties}

We had such a good time hanging out with adults late into the night without our children. We haven't stayed out that late since before we had Malakai! It surely made me feel young again...until the next morning that is.

Sunday was work/church and then I had a movie date during the boys' nap time with my mom and sister to finally see The Help. I went straight there to my in-laws where Ben had brought Des and Kai for us to have dinner.

Then this morning was flu shots, groceries, errands and gymastics. Can you see how I'm a bit exhausted? Still, we had so much fun!

leaves

2012-10-24T14:10:00.001-07:00

If you follow me on Instagram you may be familiar with the gigantic maple tree in our teeny front yard. It is gorgeous this time of year as it drops bright golden leaves all over our yard (and the neighbors, hehe). While Ben isn't a big fan because of the time it takes to clean up, not only do I find it lovely to look at but it's useful too.

Who needs fancy toys or tv when you have endless leaves (and sticks...and dirt...) to play with?!

Surprisingly Desmond just played with the leaves and didn't attempt to eat them. Malakai wanted to whack everything with a giant stick, so I let him play in the pile of dirt we have leftover from March's yard redo...we should really do something about that.

{Malakai showing Desmond how it's done}

It's a bit chilly out, but warm enough and dry enough to play outside some. I'm hoping we get more days like this to wear out my boys.

Desmond's 1st Birthday, a Barnyard Bash!

2012-10-14T15:46:00.000-07:00

The last few weeks I have been overwhelmed with blessings. Ttere have been hardships, as usual, but even through them- blessings have flowed. A couple weeks ago the boys came down with a virus and we had the worst night sleep (aka no sleep). We were showered with offers to bring meals, dessert, and coffee. I was shocked at the outpouring of kindness.

Yesterday we threw Desmond his 1st birthday party. We were once again, so blessed by the entire event. So many friends and family came to wish Des well and they really showered him with gifts. The party was at our friends' home, in their barn...an actual barn, complete with authentic sheep poo! Truly, Mark + Liz have a gorgeous place and it was so generous of them to not only let us have the party there but to help us decorate, set up, and clean up. We are so blessed.

Des was all smiles just about the entire time. You know how most kiddos have a tantrum at their 1st birthday party, well he only whined a bit when his little boots started to hurt his feet. That was all, what a champ! Sadly, Kai made a grand entrance, complete with melt-down. Which is what happens when he doesn't get his nap and then we put him into a social situation. He warmed up once we brought out the Stomp-Rocket, something I got with his birthday money and waited to pull out at the party.

While I was putting up decorations it began to rain, but it let up and stayed clear the rest of the day. It was so humid though, that even paper things under cover felt a bit soggy. I had a few activities planned that we could do under cover because of the rain; pin the tail on Bulls-Eye and bean bag toss. With no rain, kids were content to run in the field and climb on the tractor, so we never needed the games.

{aunt Kristi played solo}

{our little family, Des with G'Pa, and sweet cousin Delia on the tractor}

Kids and adults alike were entertained by the cider-press. Mark built it himself in college and it was really fun to watch, and the cider was delicious!

We got the party rolling pretty quickly and started with gifts for a few people who had to leave early. Des received so many gifts, all of them so nice! The boys will be entertained all winter long and then some!

Shortly after we brought out Desmond's birthday cake and sang to him. My talented mother, who the boys know as Mima, baked a cow cake per my request. Growing up she has made a lot of cakes like this one, and not only are they delicious, but incredibly adorable!

I made Des a banana cake for him to dig into. While we were singing the wind blew out his candle. I nearly attempted to relight it, but knew it was too windy and he wasn't going to be blowing it out anyway. Then he dug in...

Friends and family alike showed up dressed to theme, it made for an even more authentic feel for the whole event. Although, technically, I don't consider my dad as being in costume since this is pretty much his regular attire...

Once our guests were gone and we cleaned our stuff out of the barn, we moved over to the BBQ area and had a little after-party with the immediate family. I had BBQ chicken in the crockpot and Liz provided us with some corn straight from the garden. We had dinner, then moved again to the fire pit to relax and have a few s'mores.

We couldn't have asked for a more beautiful day or a happier birthday boy! Thanks to all who came, and Happy 1st Birthday Des!