We'll miss your smiling face.

I am not a brand. This is a hobby, not a source of revenue. I don’t get product review offers. I don’t do product reviews (unless of course your product involves the word Nikon or Vivian Tam Netbook in which case I stand ready to be your product placement pushing whore). I don’t go to conferences and have rarely met other bloggers in person. Not that I don’t want to meet anyone it’s just there’s not a lot of time in my schedule to do that sort of thing right now. Maybe one day.

So there, that’s my state-of-the-blog statement.

Lately there’s been a lot of argument talk about the state of blogging – it seems to be tied up in the labeling of bloggers but mostly it seems to really be about the content. I’ve occasionally left comments here and there about how I could care less about the label, I just miss having good stories – and want to stop being sold to at every turn.

So there, that’s my state-of-the-blogosphere statement.

So of course you know what happens next right….

For the first time in 7 years, in a span of 3 days, I’ve received 2 offers to review something. LOL. Never got a single one before and all of sudden two in one week! I can’t help but wonder if it has something to do with those comments. Are they combing them trying to find new people to push products? How is it suddenly out of no where these sorts of things are coming my way? It’s not the blog because it’s been in sad shape of late.

I have to say both were very nice, polite, respectful offers. Not the crap you hear about some people getting addressed to Dear Blog.

One is for a product we already own, and I have to admit has not been that popular. I know other families who have loved this product and I bought it based on personal recommendations of people I trust – it just hasn’t been great for us. In fact I tried it again today to see if things have changed. Not. But I know for a fact that two doors down it’s a smash hit.

The second was for something I’ve never heard of but am intrigued by because it’s supposed to fix a problem I definitely have.Something I’ve been trying to find a solution for.

So here I stand on the top of a pile of comments and principles – looking down at the slippery slope. Like a future crack addict I tell myself – you could just do one time. One time won’t hurt.

Honestly I’d feel bad doing the first because I know too much about it and how it hasn’t worked for us. It just would not be right.

The second though… she’s a temptation that I haven’t said no to, yet. I rationalize that I could use it as an example for why not to do reviews when it has little to no impact on the blog (which it won’t I’m sure) (Great Movie Quote,: The Big Chill - Michael played by the recently undead Jeff Goldbloom: Rationalizations are more important than sex. Have you ever gone a week without a rationalization?)

So the 7 of you who read this blog, what do you think? High minded road less taken principles? Or just a quick toke of the latest doob being passed around in hopes that nothing happens?

Bossy blogs her life, which is sometimes about kids and sometimes not, and Melizzard enjoys Bossy’s life a lot.

Melizzard really really looks forward to a time in her life when she can look at her children and know that she worked hard and they are great people but at the same time her life is full enough that she’s not living vicariously through them. That, Sister Mercy, her life is so full and interesting that’s its peppered with hundreds of Little Known Facts.

Melizzard also likes referring to herself in the third person and admires Bossy’s spunk in just owning that one. Melizzard wonders if she will every “embrace the curl” because the Chi Flat iron is still her best friend.

Melizzard wants to grow up to have the kind of friends who will come over for a dress up mystery party. Melizzard wants to learn to cook artichokes. Melizzard is jealous of the fact that even the snakes in Bossy’s porch are more beautiful than the ones on hers –of which there are no pictures because finding a snake on Melizzard’s porch generally requires that it  immediately be decapitated and thus freed from it’s poisonous ways and then who really wants to take pictures of that anyway. We do however get an occasional stray turtle who has lost it’s way from the pond across the street so Melizzard’s got that one over Bossy.  Melizzard does not want to own a great dane.

Melizzard hopes that one day Bossy will embark on yet another Excellent Road Trip and that this time she will get to meet her as she rushes through.

Her very first moments on this earth.

Every major baby milestone.

First day of school.

Moments of rest.

You name it, I’ve got it “on film.”  Her whole life in pictures. Her story told in the captures of moments in time.

Except that there’s starting to be a problem. She’s growing up. She’s walking away.

This is a good thing, I know that. I encourage it! I’m the one yelling “YES” at the radio when Ayelet Waldman told Terri Gross. “I’m terrified by the idea of a world governed by these people who’ve never had to govern themselves”, when talking about over-parented children who never do anything or go anywhere without adult supervision. I believe in Free Range Children

I believe it is essential to her development, her character and her independence that she go away, without me, and learn about her world – that she explores, and imagines, and learns to get along – with me.

My problem is this: There are starting to be holes in the story. Un-illustrated pages in the book of her life. Because I’m not there (and I shouldn’t be) to take a picture of it.

I want to put on a trench coat and sneak behind her jumping behind trees and bushes like some kind of crazy cartoon spy. Not because I don’t trust her or I’m worried. But because I want to take pictures!!

We went on vacation last week to our annual Not-Blogher trip to the mountains. It was perfect but I have so many pictures like this now.

“Bye Honey! Enjoy the creek! Come back by dinner time”

… take the camera…. I think inside my head knowing I’d never let her take my Nikon with her.

I mean I trust her with her own safety and all .. but not the safety of The Precious!!! Let’s get real.

So I’m not sure what there is left to do but maybe this…

A camera of her own.

I’m getting jazzed about this idea. A camera of her own. Nothing too expensive. This one is cheaper than her DS. It’s got good ratings. Seems easy to use.

Then she can bring me pictures and I can see what happens after the screen door slaps shut. I can fill in the gaps that are naturally a part of her growing up. She can look back and remember the first time she did this or that without me. And smile. And hopefully be happy she has a Mama who believed in documenting AND in letting go.

A camera of one’s own .. to make both mother and daughter happy and healthy .. cheers to  you Virginia Wolf, your lessons hold true even in a digital age.

One of the benefits of these nights is that they generally come with free booze and a breath taking view. There is no view in Jacksonville that compares to that which you get from The River Club downtown. My sad iphone photos do not do it justice.

I’m so proud of my little shy bird, she had a few rock moments before had but when that curtain went up there she was with sassy little smile on her fact and she danced her heart out. That night she fell asleep still holding her flowers from Daddy and her very first trophy. The happiest girl on the planet!

Fuzzy Head has turned 4. Yes this is the sterotypical birthday post. Go ahead and yawn if you need to.

A couple of months ago when I realized that FuzzyHead was the age Puddin was when Fuz was born I started feeling bad. Because I knew that despite the best intentions and our best efforts Puddin sort of got ripped off. I mean they are about as cute as any human gets at this age and when she should have been queen of the family here comes an infant and trumps her.

And now FuzzyHead is doing it again. She’s just so darn cute she’s stealing all the attention. We’re doing our best but it’s hard because you just want to eat her up.

She’s starting to put herself out there just the smallest bit. My shy child. My clingy child. She is loosening her grip on me just the slightest little bit and putting a toe out there. And she’s doing just fine. I’m so proud of how she’s letting go even if it’s just a little.

So happy birthday Biddy Baby. Mama loves you as deep as the ocean.