Breath, Smiles and Tears

Remnants of Childhood

2022-11-06T14:22:00.004-06:00

It’s been a long, long time since I wrote anything on here. And to be honest, I don’t expect anyone to still read this tiny corner of the internet.

The reason I felt the need to come back is something of an unexpected reason. Yesterday I found out the singer Aaron Carter passed away suddenly. I don’t believe I ever wrote of it on this blog, but he was a surprisingly significant part of my childhood. When I was around eleven years old I first discovered his albums and instantly became a devoted fan. Growing up without many friends and a lot of anxiety and depression (that I didn’t know how to cope with in any way), I found his music a sort of outlet for all of my scary preteen emotions. As ridiculous as it may sound, I would spend countless hours picturing myself as the person he was singing to. It helped me escape from the reality that as a child, was just too difficult to face. So, I played my disc man with “Oh Aaron” and listened to “I’m All About You” in a loop until life felt a little bit safer to face.

I’m having a difficult time putting into words what the recent news is making me feel. Obviously any death is depressing and a young death is even more so. But with celebrities, we don’t know them personally so for better or worse a lot of time we have a difficult time mourning the loss of them for reasons that go a bit deeper. I didn’t ever speak to him or know him as anything other than what my eleven year old self perceived to be true. But for whatever reason I feel a deep sadness. And a lot of it I believe has to do with the fact that his music was a more prominent part of my youth than I even realized. Those time of escaping through his music cannot be divorced from the entire picture of my childhood. And for this reason perhaps is why it is the most painful.

I can’t imagine how his family must be feeling at this time and I do hope they are given some semblance of peace throughout this. But on a much smaller scale, my heart also goes out to all of the girls and boys, who maybe like myself, associate him with a part of their childhood. It feels as though a part of our childhood has died as well. I wish celebrities, like him, could know just how important sometimes that their songs (or movies) meant to some of us. How very much they meant to us.

All These Little Things

2018-11-18T20:13:00.002-06:00

(No, this isn’t a post about that sappy One Direction song.)

There are so many little things to be thankful for, but I admit I too often look past them, only concerned about the next big thing. But see, the little thing are the big things.

They make up most of our time and I sort of love that. To keep myself present I want to start taking the time to fully appreciate the beauty of these little joys.

Singing Disney songs with my love for no particular reason at all.

Cooking new yummy foods I’ve never ever attempted before.

A giant box of hot chocolate I bought with Wesley’s mom as Costco, sitting happily on the kitchen table, reminding me that cold weather is finally here. :)

Laughing until I cry on the phone with my best friend, talking about all sorts of nostalgic, happy little things.

That I’ll be flying to see my family in Alabama next month!

The coziness of getting in comfy, warm clothes after a long day at work.

Knowing I have tomorrow off do I can stay up as late as I wish tonight and watch happy vlogs on YouTube (mostly British... mostly Christmassy).

Speaking of Christmas, Christmas EVERYTHING. Christmas movie suggestions are welcome!

Messy buns and no makeup days.

Clean sheets and soft blankets.

The Cinderella castle Disney intro that make me tear up like a baby...

Having someone I’m incredibly excited to come home to.

Laughter that escapes just because I’m that happy. :)

Finding who I used to be and who I still am.

Candy canes and hot chocolate. (Hot chocolate made it on this list TWO TIMES because it’s just that amazing.)

The fact that it’s probably going to actually rain in a few days... here in California! Yay!

Planning a Disneyland vacation with Wesley. <3

Beautiful sun rises and sunsets.

The fact that God gave us this very day to be alive so that we could appreciate all of these little things.

Thank you, friends. And now for some very random pictures and quotes that made me smile. ;)

Chasing it

2016-08-29T17:04:00.000-05:00

When I'm sad I often wallow in my sadness, and guess what happens? It gets about a hundred times worse. I've dealt with depression for years now, so I know that you can't just "shake it" or "let it go". But God created us as human beings, with a free will. We may not always be able to make the conscious decision to be happy, and then magically become happy. But we can make other decisions. We can do things that lead us to happiness. Think of it as cheating the depression system. I happen to love finding loopholes, (I need to appreciate rules more than I do, but that's a whole other topic), and this is no exception. The little things that love most can remind you what happiness feels like, It can start a chain reaction of leaving behind the grey world that fills your pillows with tears and in turn, run towards the smiles. It could be praying for someone else, or just talking to God in general. Telling Him about your day and thanking Him for the little things, like how you got to eat pizza two days in a row or that your favorite song came on the radio. Maybe it's making yourself watch a movie that gets you to laugh, or painting your nails, even though depression is telling you it's pointless. For me it's all of these things. I sat down to write a post filled with all sorts of somber thoughts and feelings, but now I find myself listening to Christmas music and feeling not nearly as down, quite frankly. There's nothing wrong with taking care of yourself, and part of that is not giving into sadness. It's making the decision to say no to sad songs, sad articles online, sad news, sad books, and sad movies. Surround yourself with happiness, and love and most importantly people who remind you of this, until the depressive thoughts drown out. There's so much to be thankful and joyful about, so please go chase after it. :)

These Walls

2016-04-29T00:36:00.001-05:00

I'm not very used to writing posts on my phone but my laptop has been horridly loud and obnoxious these days, so honestly I'd rather be on my quiet phone, with Disney music playing softly in the background. I'm convinced that my bed is the comfiest coziest bed in the whole wide world. When I was a kid I watched Oliver and Company an embarrassing amount of times and one of my favorite parts was when Rodger made his bed up for the night. I thought it was magical how old, mismatched pillows were transformed into the softest looking bed imaginable. Now I look over and notice how I stack up pillows on my own bed, with blankets spread around recklessly, and I realize I'm still the five year old girl I was back then. I love snuggling on the couch and watching Little House on the Prairie, while eating pancakes. I love chocolate milk in the mornings and the sight of dusk through my bedroom window. I love by bookshelf with happy endings decorating it. I love the grandfather clock my family's had since I was a baby. I love the smell of fresh cut grass out in the yard, and the way the lamps look soft and warm when I come through the front door in the evening. When it gets down to it, I love being home. It has memories ingrained into it so deep, it would tell you stories that might make you cry, if houses could talk. It's what I compare all other comforts and happy places to. And just between you and me, there's no other place I'd rather be.

Watching the River Run

2016-03-20T14:54:00.002-05:00

Today I slept until nine, and even then I went downstairs only to get a giant Costco muffin and chocolate milk before crawling back under my covers. I listened to songs from when I was little, and baked a huge batch of brownies for tonight. I got a shower that smelled like Strawberries, and drank sparkling water that tasted like blackberries. And these seem like nothings but they've made me stop and thank Jesus for life, and that it's made up of nothings like these,

Hello Again

2015-07-28T17:44:00.001-05:00

My name is Michelle and I'm addicted to the smell of rain, homemade pizza, the intro to Disney movies, old hymns, twirling in skirts, falling ridiculously in love, chocolate-covered pretzels, singing terribly, hugs, red velvet anything, fresh daisies, pillow forts, the man in the moon, sarcastic comebacks, and ukuleles,

There's a lot about this life to love. :)

Blessings & Love

2015-02-25T23:27:00.000-06:00

What is my life right now? I'm listening to a bittersweet Ritchie Valens song and wondering why things have to change. There's a lot of change in my life right now. You wonder why I have a hard time switching blogs? Psshh, it's not because it would be difficult. I have a beautiful blog up and ready to go but I'm so dang sentimental and loyal to this shabbier, old blog, and there's my basic thought process about life, guys.

When I like something a lot, I stick with it; when I love it, I never really let it go. I'll probably be 85, still telling lectures as to why Jane Eyre is my favorite novel and strawberry shortcake is the best Sno-Cone flavor in the universe. I'll remember in detail the first time my heart was broken at 13 and how I waltzed to My Heart Will Go On and felt infinite. I may just hold onto the secret as to why the movie Penelope makes me both laugh and cry. I move on, but I don't let go. So, as life rows forward, I am invisibly connected to all of these people, and places and moments etched into my mind. It's beautiful and heartbreaking. All I can come to though is life must be pretty incredible and will continue to be even more so, with each second that I'm given.

I Guess We Can Blame it on the Rain

2015-02-23T16:02:00.001-06:00

I love the song, Blame it on the Rain. It reminds me of late night talks and strawberry chocolate, and naive reveries floating somewhere back in 2012. As Sinatra would say, it was a very good year. Today has felt like that, for some reason. I'm listening to He is We and Chase Coy and wanting very terribly to take pictures of the golden hour.

I've grown since then, but had I known back then all that would happen to bring that about, well, it would have shook me up. The past few years have definitely had their ups and down. There's been excitement, pain, love, laughs, and so many goodbyes. But that year was something special, because it's still affecting me to this day, so how can I not be a little bit in love with it?

2015-01-13T00:42:00.003-06:00

Some truths that I've been humbled by recently:
The world is sometimes a mess, but kindness helps.
It's okay to admit when you were wrong.
It's okay to admit when you were right.
It's okay to disagree.
It's also okay to miss people who you haven't talked to in years.
Being unabashedly yourself around people is empowering.
And what you dislike about yourself, other people love (and so should you).
Being single is all that and a bag of Skittles.
But being a hopeless romantic doesn't equal weakness.
Singing is always a good idea, especially if you're out of tune.
If what you're doing is making you miserable, leave it.
When your voice falters, you're probably saying something right. Keep going.
Diets are depressing.
Family, friends, good food, daisies and The Beach Boys are happy.
Vulnerability is terribly hard and terribly worth it.
And the One Who holds the stars also holds us.

All I Know is a New Found Grace...

2015-01-07T00:21:00.003-06:00

In all honestly today feels like a snow-cone, backyard bar-b-que,

dancing in the sprinkler, kinda day, but see... it's only January.

Bummer. But still, it's sunshiney, so I have no room to complain,

because if today were a song it would be laid back, upbeat and

one you listen to on repeat, because it has a killer bridge,

which we all know is the raddest part of a song.

And here's another random thought:

we don't know what the next moment will bring.

We could be knocked out of our socks with

something wonderful

and magnificent

and surprisingly...

perfect.

Peace out, cub scouts. :)

Happy Things

2015-01-06T10:07:00.000-06:00

The past few days... well, I suppose since the New Year, I've been as happy feeling than I can remember in I don't know how long. God is awesome. I think this is a good start to my year and all I can hope is that the whole year may be this carefree, for all of us. <3

So, to commemorate such a feeling, I will now post everything that strikes my fancy as...

happy.

(Pink makes me happy.)

Cooking and eating pancakes. I have full bragging rights to say I make some pretty awesome chocolate chip pancakes. ;)

Wishing on stars.

Writing someone you haven't talked to in forever.

Dancing in the kitchen to your jam. You knooow what it is.

Mine is "Hey, Soul Sister" or literally any song by Barry White...

Reading poetry that makes you smile and daydream.

All the feels. ;)

Watching that silly, romantic comedy that still makes you swoon.

Or watching a total tear-jerker and then laughing at yourself

for being such a girl. ;P (Or guy, if I have guy followers...) I didn't mean to exclude y'all from the conversation.

Now this is awkward. ;)

Take pictures outside and post them for the WHOLE WORLD TO SEE.

I plan on doing this very thing later. Yay! :)

Being ridiculously excited to be alive today. It's pretty cool or rad... or whatever. ;) It really is though. We are alive. We're given the chance to live, breath, cry, laugh until we cry or laugh until we cry. The point is... we're being given a whole lot. Today. Let's be thankful and enjoy it, why don't we? :)

I think that just about sums it up. ;)

I'm Up Entirely Too Late But...

2014-12-21T23:31:00.006-06:00

I'm up sort of late, and in one of those moods where I very possibly may save the world... Or at least jot down a few thoughts. ;)

I'm listening to an Elvis song, and and singing along because "Ooh! ...I'm all shook up."

But seriously, I'm kind of thankful right now. I'm alive and well. Christmas... CHRISTMAS is in just a few days. *sigh* Color me ecstatic. Family will be over, pictures will be taken, enormous amounts of food will be consumed by all. Life is beautiful.

How is your life, lovely? I want to hear what you are most excited about right now... at this very moment. :)

And now.... Now is funny picture time. ;)

Ain't I so cool? I know you are.

Well, that wraps it up, you rad people. But I feel like I'll be back soon and very soon. :)

Merry early Christmas!!!!!!

Thinking Out Loud - Autumn Magic

2014-08-25T21:59:00.002-05:00

I'm cold.

You have no idea what kind of oddity that statement means to me,

unless of course, like me, you're "fortunate" enough to live in the deep south. ;)

It's been nearing 100 for the past week, or so and oy vey, I've been

one unhappy camper.

BUT I moved into another room, a spare 'oom that has

it's own air conditioning unit, in addition to the central air.

Yep, it's a penguins paradise.

And this has gotten me to thinking.

I don't know about you, but I'm becoming hopeful about this Autumn.

I always feel like it holds untold possibilities and adventures.

The pumpkin spice lattes alone...

But I digress.

The air is crisper, the gentle breeze makes the speckled leaves

look like birthday confetti and all you really want to do is

fall into a giant pile of them.

But what about oversized flannel shirts (I shop in the guys

department for this one), boots, comfy sweaters and fuzzy socks?

And more frequent outings to libraries and book stores, with

hot cocoa and donuts!

It's all magical, in my opinion.

I'm excited, yes, and those are just a few reasons why.

What's yours? :)

Happy Things #1

2014-08-07T14:48:00.003-05:00

I have many, many things to be happy about.

Life is something to be happy about.

And then all the moments and blessings that make up this life are

somethings to be happy about.

Let me name just a few, my friends.

My niece is going to be born any day now!

I'm going to help babysit my three little nephews while my sister

is in the hospital. We're going to have a movie night and play games and eat

sugar cookies and listen to Disney music

and read Dr. Seuss and of course I'll be the coolest aunt ever.

I'm going to pull my camera out and take pictures of anything (anything!)

that strikes my fancy.

I'm going to start looking for a part-time job after things settle. Something calm. ;)

Autumn is coming in less than two months! <3

I have the sweetest family in the entire world.

I have the most incredible Savior who gives me grace every day.

I'm starting to remember what eating normally is like. And I'm not so very scared to try real food again. I'm going to bake this Autumn, and not just taste my creations, I'm going to eat some of them. ;)

Choosing happy songs/movies/books is a total day changer. ;)

Speaking of which, I'm reading Anne Of the Island and while there may be sad parts, reading L.M. Montgomery's words again fill me with dreamy thoughts and happy feels. (Yes, I just said "feels").

I still adore personality psychology and finding out more about myself and others.

I'm worrying way less about clothes, makeup, hair and all that silliness. There's too much adventure out there to worry about that whole shebang.

I'm planning to travel somewhere within the next few years. I've wanted to for awhile, but now I want to really start planning. I was thinking Prince Edward Island... Any suggestions?

I'm going to watch Serendipity tonight.

I'm just thankful for today and that makes me happy. Endlessly happy. <3 :)

What are you happy about?

Reasons to Smile

2014-08-05T01:44:00.003-05:00

So, this is my home, once again, kids. I liked the idea of starting a new blog, but I felt lonesome for this blog, yes I did. ;) I'm terrible at goodbyes, after all. So, Breath, Smiles and Tears is officially active again as of now. <3

Blessings! :)

Lost Things

2014-03-30T20:24:00.001-05:00

This caught my eye the other day, but I honestly didn't think about it again until just a few minutes ago.

The reason? I was looking at some of the blogs I used to read daily and then it hit me--I miss writing. I miss the feeling of clicking the "publish" button. I miss sweet comments that made me smile, from friends I've never even met. I miss feeling so inspired I couldn't even fit it all into one post. So, I guess that's about when this piece of prose came back into my mind. With the possibility of sounding very silly, blogging is one of my "lost things". I'm not saying I'm going to post regularly, but I will try when the inspiration strikes. I want to be able to paint all my feelings down, like I did before. Starting now.

I'm listening to the Titanic soundtrack, by the way. I might as well share that. Details that go overlooked mean a lot, I think. And so many times we leave them out of conversation. Sure, we talk all day long about baseball games and when the sun's coming out again, but when was the last time you cried at a movie? What's your favorite kind of tea? Do you hum or whistle? What was it that happened last that made you thank God for being alive?

Why do we have to be constrained to subjects that make us so incredibly comfortable. Soon, the comfortableness of it all is drowned in monotony. Can we please bring back awkwardness that is made up for ten times over with sincerity and authenticity? I'd like to breathe in that fresh air again.

Those are my thoughts for right now. I have so many things to say. So, so much that's happened to me and marked me forever. I look back and see how I never in my most ethereal dreams would have guessed all the things that have come to be--come to change me. God has placed people in my path to mold me into someone stronger and maybe a little bit less scared. What would have crushed me into a fine powder before, I'm now able to pull myself up from, brush off my clothes and move on from. Again though, this is only with grace. It's not my own doing, and in no way could I have ever earned it. Like a line from a song I used to play on repeat:

"The beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair."

Baby, It's Cold Outside

2013-12-08T00:02:00.004-06:00

It's December. I just can't believe how it's chased after us. Mmm, just the other day, or so it seems, school was just starting for folks again and now it's almost Christmas. *Sigh* It just so happens to be my favorite time of year. That's probably part of the reason I decided I had to write a post--I mean, you can't be too busy to spill about how much you fervently adore the smell of Christmas cookies baking, am I right? Of course. See, I don't actually have an oven in my room, however useful and magical that may be. I instead opted for an air freshener that looks like a (you guessed it) gingerbread man. I'm not going to lie, I freaked out when I found this lil' guy. He's just too cute to eat, and actually that's a good thing because he's an air freshener so that could be dangerous. Anyway, he smells like fresh baked cookies and makes my entire room seem like the north pole. So, I love him dearly.

THIS. This is my new baby. What...H-h-how do I even begin?

It's beautiful. :)

And get this: my parents had hundreds of old albums, mostly from the seventies, out in the garage for me to rummage through. I found many, as in it took two trips to carry them up to my room...

But anyway, I was particularly excited about some of The Beatles albums. Come on, my parents bought the Fab Four's records when they first came out, how rad is that?

I'm listening to "Octopuses' Garden", as I type. Ay Salsa Mio!

Oh, and I found this Loggins and Messina one, that has my two favorites: "Return to Pooh Corner" and "Danny's Song", on it. I was a goner. Then there's Bing and his Christmas album. Man, oh man. I sort of wish there was a repeat option on this turn table.

And I'm officially twenty-two now. Where has the time gone, and all those cliche questions that comes to mind at a time like this? I've led a blessed life so far, and I know the adventure God has me on is continuing. We never know what tomorrow will bring and I'm coming to terms with this--even better than that, I'm actually learning to love it. I can't control everything that happens in my life, and why would I want to? Good gracious, the lyrics I used to sing over and over again when I was little just popped in my head: "He's got the whole world in His hands". Such a sing-songy, barefoot days memory of a song, but it's complete truth. He's got this. He's got everything.

What has your life been like? Christmas plans? Come on now, I want to hear! :)

We Don't Love in Halves

2013-10-20T14:27:00.001-05:00

This week has put life back into perspective. I cringe at how cliche that sounds, but the embarrassing thing is, most cliches are true. Back to this week: out of nowhere I caught a sickness that's honestly one tiny step away from being Freddy Kruger scary. It even made me pass out the other night, which was my very first time to actually full-fledge faint. Anne Shirley and I are kindred spirits, but even so, I couldn't find much scope for the imagination when my vision and hearing were being zapped from my swaying body. ;) Now I know though. I know that it's no lovely experience. I also know I nearly gave my poor parents heart attacks in the process. But those aren't the real lessons I've learned in the quarantined state I've been living in. No, it's more like, I have a really great life and great people in it. Strange to realize as I feel like every ounce of my energy has been drained, but mysterious conclusions come at mysterious times. I'm blessed with a ton of people who I could squeeze with a thousand hugs, plain and simple. Or as wise monsters once said, "We'll eat you up, we love you so." And please tell me you know what I mean.

I guess I caught onto this more while my parents treated me like I was eight years old again while taking care of me (they watched Elf with me last night, you guys), or my older sister checking on me often, or realizing how a few really amazing friends are there through it all. I'm just really happy where God has my life going and who's in it, right now. Sure, I want to get married and have a family if that's His plan, but right now is good. No more fretting if that guy or this guy is the one. What's meant to be will always find a way, and worrying won't make even a little difference. The folks around me are more than alright and more than enough. So, alright, those were my thoughts. Mmm, kind of blunt, but maybe that's how I want to be on here a little more... how I talk in real life. Like a conversation I'd carry on with you in a coffee shop. With Nutella lattes. Because I've had one of those, and trust me. Just trust me.

A bunch of random pictures that kind of explain my thought process. Don't you love putting together pictures of this and thats, seemingly making no sense but sorta making all the sense in the world to you?

Oh, and I'm dressing up as a pirate for Halloween and in a few days I'm going ahead and wearing the costume to a zoo carnival thing. I may be the only adult dressed up, but that's alright because you only get to dress up silly once a year (or in this case, twice). I bought black moccasins, knock-off Toms (name brand are too main stream), a back pack purse totally rad hat. I'm so cool. And Psych reruns are a guilty pleasure...

Are you dressing up for Halloween, or have some other Autumnal plans to look forward to? Any particular ways God has been showing you what life's all about?

Happy Sunday <3

Intangible

2013-10-12T09:24:00.001-05:00

There are some people who's names are just beautiful. You know what I mean. Not because it's anything extraordinary; it's just that the sight of it popping up on your phone or the sound of it being brought up in a random conversation makes you happy and that makes it perfect. And maybe a few million others share this name but you figure out it's not the letters that make the name what it has come to mean; It's everything about this someone that's been carefully etched in between the letters that no one else can emulate. That's what makes it sound so different and look so different than everyone else's--the soul of the name.

2013-09-26T23:01:00.002-05:00

In the middle of life, this crazy life, sometimes we have to laugh...

Laugh at the mistakes, laugh at the "almost could haves", and laugh

at the misunderstandings that may never be entirely understood,

because life is so real, and so unrehearsed. It's not a movie, where

all the loose ties get knotted into a pretty bow right before the credits roll,

it's made up of many cliffhangers that don't always lead to a relieved sigh.

But He has a plan for you. Yes, you. Even when it feels like there is

absolutely no rhyme or reason to what these days are adding up to.

He knows, and like a tapestry, everything looks ugly on the other side,

but God see's the front of it, and it all makes sense.

Wait for it.

On another note, I'm really loving how Autumn snuck up on me. It happened overnight, it seems.

Summer chugged on and on, to the point where I forgot to even look forward to its end. But it did end, I realized that when I breathed in the air outside the other day, and I'm so thankful of what takes its place.

I have this theory that there are times of stagnancy, where all our moments are lovely but not all together monumental... you're just just peaceful and somewhat complacent. Then there are other times. Times where your whole world seems to shake up like a snow globe, and you're so dizzy from all the changes, you can hardly take it all in. This is one of those seasons for me, and that's not completely horrible. It's just a lot to see, and feel and say goodbye to. But the growing pains mean we're alive, and in more ways than one.

It's not Winter, but this song is working its way into my post. Okay.

This may make sense, it very well may not, but I feel I needed to say it. That's important too, to say what you need to say. Its wanting to be told for some reason, though you may not know the reason. You never know though who's going through something just like you, even if you feel like you're the only one in the universe who'll get it.

Anyhow, Happy Autumn. :) How has yours started out so far?

Music City and My Heart

2013-07-21T00:17:00.002-05:00

The two go hand in hand.

I went to Nashville for the day and it's almost a gorgeous blur now, because it was over because I knew it'd begun. Me and my parents went to an old plantation to tour, called The Belle Meade, which means Beautiful Meadow in French. It was border-lining on magical, and I just about melted away into the atmosphere when I saw a small garden of white daisies. The carriage house made me feel like I was in a time machine and the high noon sun falling through the Magnolia and Oak trees made me weak in the knees.

I also went to Rainforest Cafe and still felt excited walking in and hearing the reggae music, feeling the mist fall from the vine-covered ceiling. Who couldn't be happy in this place? Especially when you're drinking a banana, strawberry smoothie and eating fish tacos. It's beyond words, guys.

Then we headed to the Opry to see a show, and though I didn't pull my camera out because it was a little claustrophobic in there (alright, I wanted to run into a corner), the performances were really something else. Jimmy Wayne was there, and though I'd heard of him a little and knew the songs he sang, I didn't appreciate him until last night. Man, he is incredible. Talk about taking to heart what Jesus said about giving the shirt off your back. Look him up. I love this guy.

Then it was time for home. I curled up in the back seat and felt like a little girl for awhile, hearing my parents talk, feeling perfectly safe with a blanket and hoodie under my head, eventually drifting off without a single worry. No matter how old you get those moments of untainted happiness still show up every now and then-- I didn't expect that. Let me just suffice it to say, whoever said you can't go home should have done some serious fact checking first.

I wish I could go out to coffee and book shopping today, with each and every one of y'all. Since I can', I'm sending a hug. <3

June's Tunes

2013-06-30T22:17:00.001-05:00

Adam Young and Poptarts. Your argument is invalid.

I've without any doubt been addicted to music lately. (That's no excuse for the face palm, embarrassing title, I know.) Old and new, pop and whatever other genres it is I like (I'm not yet certain). So, here's a playlist of what's been helping me wake up, get ready, daydream, etc. Daydreaming takes up a humiliating portion of that.

Clouds ~ Zach Sobiech

Lingering Still ~ She & Him

If My Heart Was a House ~ Owl City

Danny's Song ~ Loggins and Messina

By Your Side (acoustic) ~ Tenth Avenue North

Here, There and Everywhere ~ The Beatles

Ho Hey ~ The Lumineers

A Twist In My Story (acoustic) ~ Secondhand Serenade

I Thought I Saw Your Face Today ~She & Him

This Guy's in Love With You ~ Herb Albert & the Tijuana Brass Band

How did I manage to put together such a impressively varied group of songs, that in no way seem to go together? I'm not sure. I'm really not.

Pictures coming soon! Like real ones. Because I've gotten addicted to blogging in my phone I've abandoned things like I don't know... What this blog was really supposed to be for. ;) So, I'm going to unload a bushel of photos on y'all soon.

So, you guys and gals (If I HAVE any guy readers...) what are songs have been on repeat for you this week?

Be back soon and I'm already excited to get back to heart poured out and drained dry in words and pictures posts. I love you all! <3

An Introduction... An Important Introduction

2013-06-28T05:53:00.001-05:00

Today I thought I'd post a (depressingly blurry phone) picture of my new baby brother. Okay, maybe he's a little furrier than me, but it's not nice to judge. ;) His name by the rest of my family is Bootsy but I'm disagreeably refusing to go along, so I'm thinking up my own name for the kid. Hopefully this won't end with him seeking therapy for an identity crisis.

"It's hard to explain how a few precious things seem to follow throughout all our lives."

2013-06-18T17:23:00.000-05:00

I may not have many readers, but the ones I have are incredible. <3 Thank y'all for the comments; you really bless me. So many awesome comments I have to get back to that I haven't gotten around too. It seems like not much but all I can say is thank you so much.

These days are beautiful. The rain makes me happy and I feel like everyone else who feels so are kindred spirits. I'm finally content for now, and that's something that God has answered that I never really saw coming. I've had to learn to become outgoing and less terrified of what others will say in return. Maybe I'm still terrified, but I'm pushing myself anyway and it's not easy but it is worth it. I met a boy I'm going to work with often whose smile today made me jump a little and I honestly don't know what came over me. I found myself speechless. Alabama Summer days may be hot but they sure are magical... So are the nights when the humid air blows and you can daydream while looking up at the sky, hearing a chorus of crickets chime their symphony. This Summer is something to remember and be happy about. Memories are being made.

On sort of a side note, (because the above totally wasn't random enough for you), I loaded this song on my phone the other day and it brought back a flood of memories of me being little and asking my mom and dad to play it over and over again. I remember them singing it in the old van, a Kenny Loggins cassette playing. I especially remember my dad singing it, and that's probably why I looked it up on Father's Day (which also brought back memories to my parents). But it makes me cry, the end of it, and it probably always will. It's the good tears though. It's the "I'll never forget certain moments of my childhood" tears.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BpXUYIOoFzM

2013-06-16T01:41:00.001-05:00

I'm very naive. I know I am. But I'm coming to another crossroads where I have to choose to either dream or fly back down to reality and although I know what I should do, I still wonder. I still imagine. I still believe that it could be.

I typed this down in my phone earlier without thinking about it ahead of time but I really liked it, not because it sounds beautiful and poetic since it definitely doesn't. I liked it because it was feelings written before fully processed. Raw and so fresh that I didn't really understand what my heart meant and what God was telling me until I read my own words. I'm a dreamer. I fear though to be hurt by these dreams and I'm sure many know what I mean. You think yet another dream will hurt you (again) but the tug inside to wonder what if seems to get to you every time. So you Dream. And you live. And you wait. No matter how much hurt may lie in store for your crushed reveries, the possibility of them becoming reality takes center stage again. And once again, it's all worth it.