brian s hall - technology. immortality. food.

But then you keep cropping, and, suddenly, fuck you

brian s hall — Tue, 09 Apr 2013 03:18:27 +0000

Some people are just damn funny. Oh, and some are douchebags.

I’ve yet to — and never will care to — determine the algorithm, but there is a mathematical relationship between one’s douchebaggery and facial angle from camera. I’m sure some Big Data asshole will Hadoop that shit up for me and then end up in YCombinator, but generally it peaks between 45 and 90 degrees, reducing as the stupid douchebag face gets less prominent.

Tags:

culture

Roger Ebert is dead but his Twitter account lives on

brian s hall — Mon, 08 Apr 2013 18:02:29 +0000

My latest at ReadWrite asks whether or not I should 'unfollow' Roger Ebert on Twitter.

I mean, he's dead. Plus, others - including his editor at RogerEbert.com - have access to the account and can continue to tweet. This, despite the fact that the account is "verified" and, you know, he's dead.

I have long been a fan of Ebert's work. I loved Siskel & Ebert, even when he and Gene Siskel were reviewing awful movies. I know Ebert wrote the screenplay for Beyond the Valley of the Dolls, which I've watched. I know he wrote many books, launched a popular movie festival and had a highly trafficked [blogsite]. I know he worked with Microsoft on Cinemania, an interactive movie guide on CD-ROMs.

Nonetheless, I believe I know him best, know him most fully — as a person — from Twitter. Now that he's dead, it seems not merely unseemly to unfollow him. More... unnecessarily sad.

Tags:

twitter

FaceBook Home is yet another pick of the Android lock, a threat against Google’s core strategy that will have to be addressed

brian s hall — Mon, 08 Apr 2013 01:24:48 +0000

Jean-Louis Gassee examines Facebook Home's potential threat to Google's Android monetization strategy, whatever the hell that strategy may turn out to be.

Home is not only well-aligned with Facebook’s real business, advertising revenue, it’s even more aligned with an important part of the company’s business strategy: keeping that revenue out of Google’s hands. Android’s only raison d’être is to attract a captive audience, to offer free services (search, email, maps…) in order to gain access to the users’ actions and data, which Google then cashes in by selling eyeballs to advertisers. By “floating” above Android, Home can keep these actions and data to itself, out of Google’s reach.

Absolutely.

Provided *anyone* uses it. I'm still convinced of that critical fact.

Tags:

Facebook

Google

Android

The original iPad was a work in progress

brian s hall — Mon, 08 Apr 2013 01:20:07 +0000

I loved this Windows site's look back at their prediction on the iPad.

Because they admit they were wrong.

But...in the long passage of time, still assume that you're going to be proven even more wrong, so there.

Apple fan boys with fragile egos and long memories like to taunt me with some of my early quotes about the iPad—I referred to it as an “iDud” when it was announced in January 2010, for example—without respecting the fact that my writings about the devices got a lot more positive when I started using them. I guess it still confuses people on that partisan side of the world to realize that more experience with something can actually alter your opinion.

But these critics also lack the perspective of my 20 years writing about technology. No offense to the people who scramble to defend Apple at every turn, but we here in the Microsoft world went down the tablet road a long, long time before Apple did. And while I think we can all agree that Apple got some things right with iPad that Microsoft missed with the Tablet PC in 2002, it’s also fair to say that the Tablet PC—with its handwriting recognition and ability to treat handwritten text as native data—still outshines today’s Apple mobile devices in many ways. Point being that the inability to understand tech trends cuts both ways, guys.

Tags:

ipad

Magically delicious!

brian s hall — Sat, 06 Apr 2013 20:36:25 +0000

The best thing about porn flicks - okay, yes, besides the boobies.

Yes - besides the banging.

Yes, yes, the moaning. Let me finish!

The best thing about porn flicks - that's not porn - are the titles.

This awesomely gruesome New York Times magazine feature has some food porn-like title goodness. And it's a fun read.

The Great Chicken Explosion
Worms on the Half Shell
Don't Step in the Chicken Stock

Tags:

food

The smartphone is...the long-term heart study

brian s hall — Sat, 06 Apr 2013 06:36:37 +0000

A million participants. A decade-long heart study. Smartphones.

Researchers at the University of California, San Francisco (UCSF) are recruiting a million participants to join a decade long heart health study. The enabling factor? Smartphones. It’s a great example of information technology bleeding into other fields and speeding their progress. If all goes to plan, the UCSF study (dubbed Health eHeart) will be the broadest such study ever completed.

In comparison, the much lauded Framingham Heart Study, initiated in 1948, recruited and studied 15,000 participants over three generations.

While the Framingham study required participants visit the doctor every two years, the UCSF study leverages the power of smartphones, tablets, and computers to take data every day. Participants will download apps and wear sensors to track vital statistics like blood pressure and heartbeat. The smartphone will act as nerve center, recording and sending data taken by external sensors like a Bluetooth enabled blood pressure cuff or an AliveCor iPhone-compatible heart monitor.

Tags:

health

longevity

TechCrunch Friday News Dump. Silence = Death.

brian s hall — Sat, 06 Apr 2013 02:17:17 +0000

TechCrunch has *finally* acknowledged that its founder and current writer - and boss of other current TechCrunch writers - is the subject of rape allegations.

On Friday evening.

Yes, their cowardice has earned your scorn.

As for the acknowledgement, it is mostly balanced, near as I can tell.

In sum, there have been some claims and more rumors about Arrington, as well as counterclaims and most of all, lots of missing information. We are continuing our reporting to find definitive evidence.

Sure.

I sure would like more details on their definitive statement, however:

Rumors of similar alleged abuse have circulated in previous years amongst our peers. Many tech reporters have investigated them, but no stories had been published until those based on Allen’s posts this week.

So, why no stories published at any time during the previous years?

Tags:

techcrunch

2100 condoms found in the last party

brian s hall — Fri, 05 Apr 2013 05:21:23 +0000

So much writing today, for so many others. But I did not forget you, dear loyal reader. Or at least, I remembered you once I read this:

Hainan Rendez-Vous, China’s largest annual yacht show is a must-attend exhibition for the world’s marquee auto and high-end consumer brands. The event now faces a huge crisis following 3 posts last night on hugely popular / influential microblogging site Sina Weibo.

So? Rumors on Weibo. Who gives a fuck?

Except, then there's this:

It’s reported online the Rendevous in Hainan is in fact a mass promiscuous party, with a number of stars involved. It was spread online that models and “GaoFuShuai” (young rich) are gathering in Hainan for an orgy. A party was held on a 45 meter long yacht with 200 private jets for transportation, and purchase orders valued at 1 billion RMB in total have been placed in 3 days, even many A-list stars are present there.

It’s said that there’s a high-class prostitute that made 600,000 RMB there in only three days, and there have been 2100 condoms found in the last party… And also it’s said that a man was discovered with HIV and the girls he has relations with in the past two months all went to Sanya… Police in Sanya sent forces to the rendevous and the husbands of “Da S” and “Xiao S” (two celebrity girls) appeared there too, all the people were taken to urine analysis… (shared)

The Hainan Rendevous has got really popular now… even Chinese overseas know and discuss on the extravagance, orgy, rape, drugs, AIDS and escort girls there…It’s hard to tell how many future wives are involved in this Rendevous. Later, we need to ask “have you been to 2013 Hainan Rendevous” before marrying a wife. So men are the most miserable victims of the event!

2100 condoms strikes me as a good many.

Tags:

china

No hope for Windows Phone

brian s hall — Thu, 04 Apr 2013 19:32:39 +0000

I do not state (nor suggest) that the smartphone market is a natural duopoly. I do state, however, that I am finding it increasingly hard to even imagine how Microsoft makes itself relevant in the smartphone wars.

My piece in ReadWrite today:

None of these missteps, however, reveal the actual reason for Windows Phone's continued failure in the marketplace. Worse, the failure of Windows Phone is a problem that may ultimately prove un-fixable. Here goes:

The real reason why Windows Phone has failed because there is no good reason for it to exist.

Go on, try to think of one. Think of just one reason - one customer-facing reason - why Windows Phone should exist? Is it better? Cheaper? Faster? Simpler? More secure? More connected?

FYI: I have reached out to Microsoft. Because I want them to show me how I am wrong. I want them to create some awesome mobile device - that succeeds in the marketplace. I simply don't see how they do this.

Tags:

windows phone

The one where Alexia Tsotsis confesses she will not speak ill of Michael Arrington

brian s hall — Thu, 04 Apr 2013 05:41:08 +0000

Two months ago, TechCrunch editor Alexia Tsotsis said that what the world needs now - or at least, what Silicon Valley needs now...is Valleywag:

On any given day, beneath the hype cycle of startups threatening to launch, then getting their VCs to blog/tweet about their launch threats, then pre-launching, then fueling PR/hype about their pre-launches, then putting up a special access code on select blogs, then their official launches,* some darker aspects surface.

What darker aspects?

She would not provide any actionable details, alas, though sought to cleanse her spirit.

It’s dangerous how embedded we are in what we cover. These founders, these VCs, these employees being laid off, are some of our closest friends and sources. Our community is so tight-knit that you could be writing about a CEO getting fired at 2 p.m. and then sitting next to her at a demo day at 4 p.m. Or you have to ask her to speak at your event. Or she is literally your investor.

In some ways, it can be seen as brave to admit your failings - even if she damned the "ecosystem" rather than herself or TechCrunch, specifically.

We as an ecosystem need a watchdog with enough independence and daring to call it as it is. Right now the closest thing we’ve got to anyone who writes from a relatively outsider perspective is Dan Lyons, and the biggest problem there is that he’s unnecessarily mean-spirited. This watchdog would need to be a savvy, ballsy type of person, and all of their posts would need to transcend mere gossip.

Was there a single, haunting incident that motivated her to write these words?

TechCrunch, and other sites, shouldn’t be averse to exposing the seedy personalities behind the game or covering a few interesting Jack Dorsey outfit choices, but we often fail to because it is not our primary function: We flourish when we write pieces on corporate intrigue and M&A rumors, but there seems to be some unspoken rule that we stay away from the personal stuff. “If I wanted to read US Weekly, I’d read US Weekly,” our comments sections cry out when we fly too close to the gossip sun.

We often fall short of the messy truth because sometimes it is just too messy to be a pure “industry” story, and because we’re entrepreneur-friendly at our core. But the flaws, foibles, silliness and mistakes we humans make as we navigate the tech business are learning experiences, and shouldn’t be shoved under the blog rug.

I do not know.

I do know that earlier today, Gawker delivered a stinging expose on TechCrunch co-founder and current writer, Michael Arrington.

Tsotsis and TechCrunch have remained, unsurprisingly, mute.

Fine. Tsotsis doesn't have the balls to do it herself, but she clearly admires those that do.

Tags:

techcrunch