Either way, there are thousands of options out there. And in this day and age, you are only limited by your imagination, and wallet (and that can often be gotten around - nice bank manger, or willing newspaper can often swell the coffers of most “Wedding Fund” accounts).

So, what to choose?

I think I’d like to keep it simple. A slight “hippy” feel - in the great outdoors, maybe a hillside or field in the lovely Lake District, with a simple floaty dress, flowers in my hair, just a small gathering of friends and family, and then back to the homestead for a BBQ and marquee (in case of rain).

From the outside, quite cheap. But the marquee, field rental, willing registrar to go to the great outdoors, getting friends and family to walk to your wedding… all mounts up!

But what a day - sharing something you love, with those you love, and making the day truely yours. None of this “I want the same as Mrs Jones’ youngest had” - you get a day that tells people exactly who you are, and those that love you for you, will be happy to share in it.
Overly complicated days can drag and feel exactly the same as the wedding your friends went to last month. Stand out from the crowd - make your wedding theme your own!

Church? Hotel? Village Hall? Field? Underwater? Jumping from a plane? The list is now endless! ONce upon a time, the only option you had was a church or a registry office.

Now you can go anywhere (as long as you have someone willing enough to perform the ceremony itself!). The newspapers and magazines are full of crazy vicars and registrars that help happy couples have a memorable wedding day.

As long as they sort out the paperwork (and their is lots!), you can pretty much get married in a bin at the end of your road if you fancy it.
That doesn’t sound to much fun to me, but I’m willing to bet there is someone out there that would!

I like the idea of getting hitched somewhere meaningful - a favourite walk, or where you met, or somewhere your favourite but frail Granny can get too easily. I’m not a big fan of gimmicks, but then again, if you can’t afford to get married in the style you really want, and doing something nutty will get you in the papers and get some money towards it, then why the heck not?!

Yes, you’re selling your big day to all the world to see, but the ultimate goal - getting hitched - is still achieved. And surely that is all that matters.

Well, the last wedding I went to, we gave them cash. Why? Because they were already living together, and had everything “housey” that they needed - no toasters or curtains or coasters required!

It is a bit impersonal, but I made it special by getting a £50 note (a new and unused on, and they look pretty cool), popping it in a gift box, and asking them to let me know what they spent it on.

Couple of weeks after the wedding, just befpre they go on honeymoon, they send me a nice card, telling me they used it to finish off paying for their honeymoon - 2 weeks in Canada. Lovely.

So, my gift, combined with other friends and familys gifts of money, combined to give the happy couple a financially good start - they didn’t have to take a loan for the honeymoon, it got paid in full before they went.

It’s what wedding gifts were originally all about - getting the young couple the things they need to get on their feet.
They have the house etc, so helping them keep out of debt is surely the modern gift?

This is the standard relationship patter, deviations happen occuring to individuals, but (for the majority) this is what people want and expect.

So what happens when your carefully (and expensive) plans start to fall apart?
Do you keep at it and hope it will come together eventually?
Or do yo ucut your losses and run, hoping to find it again but with a more reliable source?

I personally, would cut and run. If you’re on the marriage trail, and your partner starts to indicate, in any way, that they do not view it in the same way you do, then obviously it’s not the right path for you to take together.

Why am I rambling about this?

Well, a friend of mine has been with her boyfriend/fiance for nearly 3 years now - they rented together, and they were approved a joint morgeage (they were going to buy after the wedding - lucky thing considering! read on to find out why…), they had similar friends but had happy nights out/in with other friends, so on and so forth. They seemed to work.

Then two weeks before the wedding (which would have been in March), she found him in bed with another woman - her bridesmaid in fact!

Did she go nuts, yes.

Did he bbeg forgiveness, kinda.

Did she forgive him and the bridesmaid? YES!!

Damn silly thing to do. She forgave them both, pretended it never happened, and skipped happily off down the aisle, her Daddy paying for everything.

The night before the wedding, he called it off - and she still wonders why!!!

I can honestly say, this is an extreme situation - but who the hell would forgive their partner for this kind of betrayal? And the excuse that “we were getting married in two weeks, I can’t cancel it now!” - erm, yes you can! And should! He’s cheating on you now, that won’t change just because you get a ring on him.

Marriage is not an easy decision, it is a lifelong commitment, and if the run up to it isn’t going smoothly, then perhaps the marriage itself won’t either.
Be honest, get out when you can, and when you should.

Aww!

No matter how sickly sweet the story is, I was wondering if two friends could actually pull it off - having a joint wedding. I have never met a single person that did, although I occaisionally come accross one or two aricles about shared weddings in the magazines my mother reads.

Financially, they do appeal, especially if you share the same friends. But when it comes to standing centre stage, I do not think anyone would really want to share, no matter what the savings.

And I disagree! I’ve seen wedding costs spiral totally out of control - why would people spend £15,000 on ONE DAY?!?! I understand it is a drea, day, but the lifetime you get with someone should be the real dream - and that £15k could be much better spent on a house or debts, or whatever else would make your lives together more comfortable.

I’d share my wedding day (with a normal friend, no bunnys!), and spend the savingsg on living happily ever after.

I know this is slightly sterotyped against the men, and I’m sure not every married man on the planet uses his stag do as an excuse to use his last night of freedom as an excuse to stray - but plenty do.  And women do realise this. And yet men still don’t fess up to what they get up to - but women do. We’re happy to tell people that we went out, got dressed up, had such and such a theme, wen to this bar and that, saw a male stripper (or female - sometimes they’re more fun!) and detail the riplling muscles, play a couple of harmless games (yes, some may involve heavy flirting to win, but we know the line not to cross), etc.

But then the bride reasures the groom that he is the one for her, no matter what else is on offer out there.

The problem with men and stag dos, is that what they pay for in a club, they think they can take home. Women may pay for the entertainment at home, but understand having a man in the house that hogs the mirror and styling products more than she does, is a bad plan!

Maybe a wife couldn’t handle what her husband got upto on his stag do - but if she couldn’t, why did he do it?? And why would she marry him?

It is bad enough feeding family and friends when they pop round for tea, let alone feeding 50+ people, all of which probably like their dinners ‘just so’. How do you keep them all happy?!

Honest answer? Don’t.

Seriously. It is YOUR big day!! Order what you want people to share with you - yes they may grumble, but if they love and care about you (as they should if you are inviting them to your wedding) then they may mutter, but won’t really mind.

However, if you are one of those that prefers to keep the peace rather than take the risk of keeping yourself happy, then follow some hard n fast rules, and you can’t go wrong:

• do not over season anything - no spices especially
• make sure there is a veggie option
• make sure there is an alternative too fish & nut dishes (in case of allergies - and if you know someone in the party has a massive allergy to somethnig, warn the kitches - the smallest cross contamination can set some people off, and an A&E visit on your big day is the wrong kind of visit!)
• if there are any religious reasons for certain foods to be served or not served, check and plan for that accordingly
• try and avoid overly alcoholic tastes - some don’t like it

Just a couple of tips to help you out!

What I mean by this is that every flower has it’s own associated meaning. So when you are picking a yellow carnation for it’s simple but pretty colour, do you realise you are saying “you have disappointed me”?

Nope? Didn’t think so!

I was looking into the different meanings and saying as my Grandad told me about the yellow carnations (he’s a keen gardener, and my Grandma was a fan of all things “associated” - i.e. the meaning of stones, birthdays, names, etc).

I though the info was pretty good, so I’ve listed a brief few below - hope they help!

Carnation White - Innocence / Pure love
Carnation Yellow - You have disappointed me
Eucalyptus - Protection
Gladiolus - Generosity / Strength of character
Heather white/pink - Good luck
Holly - Good will
Iris - Wisdom / Eloquence
Ivy - Friendship / affection
Jasmine - Grace/ Elegance
Jonquil - Love me / Desire
Lavender - Devotion
Lilac - First love
Lily (Calla) - Beauty
Lily (White) - Purity
Lily of the Valley - Sweetness / Humility
Orchid - Love / Beauty
Rose Red - I love you / Passion
Rose White - Eternal love / Heavenly
Rose Yellow - Joy / Friendship
Rose Pink - Perfect happiness
Sunflower - Loyalty
Sweet Pea - Goodbye / Blissful pleasure
Tulip General - Declaration of love
Tulip Red - Believe me
Tulip Yellow - Hopeless love
Violet - Modesty

Is it your idea of a good time?

Various Anne Summer’s “uniforms” being worn to attract the attention of men to the single hens, and the opportunity for the soon to be married hen to find out just how desireable she still is, before she is off the market for good.

I find it all quite tacky. Diminidhing themselves as sex objects, women on hen do’s tend to attract all the wrong attention for all the wrong reasons. And it rarely ends well. Hangovers and forgotten actions - never a good mix!

I recently saw a fairly tasteful hen do in Manchester - a soon-to-be farmer’s wife, and all her cows! It was brilliantly done, black t-shirts with white spots for the cows, all with black trousers with taiils and udders (washing up gloves blown up!), and masks that moo-ed. The “hen” herself was dressed as a farmer, complete with flat cap and muddy wellies - even the bouncers were surprised to see them! There wasn’t a short skirt or low cut top to be seen.

This kind of hen do reflected both what the “bride” was becoming, and that her friends wanted her to be comfortable and not on show for drunken men to grope at.

I liked it. Shame that most women (and men) find that the best way to celebrate an “end to single life” is to push the boundaries on their “last night of freedom”.
I think it should be a celebration of a freind commiting herself to someone she loves.

But I guess it depends on your point of view.

Religion obviously plays a key part in a persons perceptions and beliefs of marriage, and religion will obviously affect the ceremony itself.
(I won’t discuss each religions affect on the meaning of marriage, as it would take forever, and as I am not an expert on any religion, I do not wish to get it wrong!)

But generally speaking, all religions agrees that a marriage is a lifelong commitment between two people, who promise to remain together through both good times and bad.

However, to marry legally, you generally have to be of different genders, use the details from your original birth certificate, have witnesses, and bind yourself into a contract which is only breakable via the courts.

Is a marriage a legal or spiritual union?