Vows are the heart of any wedding ceremony. They follow the greeting and precede the exchange of rings and the announcement of your marriage. 

If you are considering your own, first make sure it is OK with your spouse. If you are both on the same page, then check with the officiant. Some religions require you use the traditional wording. Others might allow you to write your own wedding vows as long as you include certain phrases. Either way, you need to decide if they will be separate vows or you will share the same vow.

If it will be the same vow, sit down and brainstorm separately. What are the  important issues you would like included? Some questions to get you thinking are:

• how did you meet
• what were your feelings when you fell in love
• when did you decide to get married
• what is the greatest thing about the other
• why do you want to marry this person
• will there be changes once you are married

After answering some of these questions, get together and share your thoughts. You can combine these thoughts into existing vows with your own elements included.

If you are each writing you own, agree on how elaborate they should be. It would not be good if one wrote a book and the other a few sentences. Decide what would be off limits such as money, sex or politics.

If you are writing your own vows, you could start with the basic consent. I, Julie, take you Adam, as my husband. Then you can go on with statements or promises of your own.

(Name of your spouse), you are my (fill in the blank with – best friend, only true love, the one I want to spend the rest of my time with)

Today, I take you to be my (wife, husband, lawfully wedded wife or husband, life partner, equal partner)

I promise you that I will be (faithful, trust worthy, worthy of your love, your loving partner, true to you )

I vow to (insert – honor, cherish, love, respect, laugh with you, cry with you, support you in your goals, what ever it is)

(insert here the length of your vow, for example, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, in all that we accomplish together) for as long as we both shall live.

Try to keep your wedding vows to three minutes or less. Why? 

• You may lose uncle Bob half way through catching a few Z’s
•  Children may decide to sing
• One of you attendants may faint
• Because it is not a good topic for discussion at the reception

If you are in front of the Justice of Peace this may not be a problem. If you have a ceremony consider the length beyond your vows. From the legal side, all that is required is the parties verbal consent.

The last thing to do when you write your own wedding vows is to practice. Especially if you are going to recite them from memory. It might not be a bad thing to have a note card just in case the jitters set in. You might want to put someone in charge of making sure the vows are at the ceremony. Either the Maid of Honor, Best Man or the officiant would be good choices.

Maybe you were doing good until your boss starting bringing donuts to office meetings. Maybe is was your skinny fiance  who started cooking yummy pasta with rich cream sauces for dinner. Even though you are determined to look your best as a bride, it is sometimes hard not to indulge in the up coming months before your wedding.

Most people have a few stumbling blocks that can trip a diet. Lets face it. Food can mask any problem – at least for a bit. Then, after we finish eating that extra cookie or big bowl of ice cream, we beat our self up. It is a vicious cycle.

Following are some tips to help you when temptation hits.

Watch Portions

You can eat meals together with family and friends. Don’t be left out. When it comes to the main course of a meal, just serve your self three quarters of a size - smaller portion. Pass on mac-n-cheese and opt for a salad. If you go over board, increase your physical activity. If you exercise two to three days a week, boost it to three or four. Instead of a half an hour work out go for sixty minutes.

Select Restaurants

Have a list of restaurants on hand. Choose places where you know what is on the menu. Look for salads with different greens, which can be ordered with grilled chicken or fish. You will get good quality protein and folic acid with the green vegetables and you won’t have to act like you are on a diet. Another option, instead of cleaning your plate ask for a doggy bag. This saves on the pocket book as well as having a healthy lunch the next day for work.

Sweet Cravings

If sweets are a down fall, especially at all those prewedding parties, try to keep it to about 200 calories a day. Depriving yourself of something, only makes you want it more. The trick is to go for treats in small packages. By allowing yourself a little bit once a day, you can have your cake and eat it too. Try Hershey Kisses. They can take the edge off of cravings.

Not Enough Time To Eat Right

With the hectic way life is these days, and planning a wedding to boot, dieting tips can fall by the way side. When you are on the run, try to plan ahead. Grabbing fast food or filling up at office vending machines is just too tempting.

Plan to carry healthy foods with you if you are not going to stop for lunch. Put a couple grab and go items like fresh fruit or whole grain bars in your purse. Another healthy option is a bag of chopped vegetables, nuts and raisins. If your office has a fridge at work bring yogurt and low fat milk. The diet tip here is to have healthy snacks on hand so you can eat nutritious food through out the day.

Stressed Out

When planning a wedding, there are bound to be a few stressful days that can send the most conscious bride into a frenzy. Stress can ruin any good diet intentions and bring on cravings.

First you need to ask yourself if you are really hungry. If so, have a low calorie snack. If you are not really hungry, opt for crunching on ice cubes or shaved ice. Gum chewing is good too. If stress continues, increase exercise time. If you can’t get to the gym, go for walks. The fresh air will help too.

Excercise Brings on Hunger Pains

If you have a good run or exercise program, you will burn calories and may feel justified in rewarding yourself with food. Eating after exercising is not necessarily a bad thing, it actually helps the body recover from a work out. The tip here is not to eat too much. Fill up on water, dried fruit or energy bars. Tell yourself you are going to finish your work out and have a banana or sports drink. You will be having dinner in a few hours. This way you get some carbs and stay mentally on track.

Late Night Munchies 

It is common for women who are too busy to eat complete meals during the day, especially if they dieting, to be starved by dinner time. Skipping meals or going for long stretches with out eating is a set up. Get in to the habit of eating small meals and snacks through out the day. If you still get night time munchies, brush your teeth right after dinner. It is like telling your mind your are done eating for the day. Another tip is to drink low calorie beverages. Sometimes the mind confuses hunger for thirst. Satisfy those hunger pains with a glass of water or tea.

Inhaling Food

If you tend to eat fast, slow down. Wolfing down a meal leads to over eating. Your body doesn’t have time to signal that your are satisfied. Focus on the people you are dining with. Enjoy good conservation while lingering over the meal. Taste each bite. Feel the texture of what you are eating. Another diet tip is to eat slow foods like soup or salad. You can poke at a salad and consume fewer calories eating soup with a meal because it is more filling.

Remembering some of these dieting tips can help you to stay on track before the wedding. Even if you binge once, doesn’t mean your whole diet failed. It is like falling down. You don’t lay there you get back up. Work each day as if it is the first day of your diet. Set realistic goals. They are much easier attain.

A diamond is the ultimate symbol of commitment and love. Much like the marriage itself, if well cared for, it will last a life time.

The ring is a circle and this was the symbol of eternity. It had no beginning and no end, like time. It returned to itself, like life; and the shape was worshipped
in the form of the Sun and the Moon.

The hole in the center of the ring is not just space either; it is important in its own right as the symbol of the gateway, or door; leading to things and events both known and unknown.

It is not difficult therefore, to see how the ring and the gift of a wedding ring
began to be associated with love, in the hope that this most worthy of emotions could take on the characteristics of the circle and capture eternity.

It takes one million years to make a diamond. They are formed under immense heat and pressure hundreds of miles below sea level and forced to the earth’s surface through volcanic explosions.

Most diamonds found in nature are one to three billion years old and 80% of them are found in seven countries: Botswana, Russia, South Africa, Angola, Namibia, Australia and Zaire. The major diamond cutting centers are in New York, Antwerp, Tel Aviv and Bombay.

The wedding ring, that most famous and instantly recognizable symbol of the
joining of a man and a woman as husband and wife in the institution of marriage, has a long, wide spread and mysterious history. Its beginnings lie in the deserts of North Africa, where the ancient Egyptian civilization sprang up along the fertile flood plains of the river Nile. This river was bringer of all fortune and life to the Pharaoh’s people and from plants growing on its’ banks were the first wedding rings fashioned.

In ancient times, the Egyptians and the Romans shared the belief that a vein from the fourth finger lead directly to the heart. As such, it seemed a logical place for the placement of the wedding band. The practice was passed down and the fourth finger is now universally known as the ring finger. Science has since disproved that theory, but it is still romantic to think that our wedding rings are on a direct path to our hearts.

Caring For Diamond Wedding Rings

When you are not wearing your diamond wedding rings, keep them in a fabric lined case or a jewelry box with dividers. This will prevent them from being scratched.

Precious metals can get smudged or coated with things like oils, lotions, perfumes or hairspray. You should put diamonds on only after you have finished getting ready to go out.

It is a good idea not to wear jewelry when doing heavy work. You will also want to remove your jewelry when swimming. Chlorinated water can effect the color of your setting.

You should regularly soak your jewelry for 30 minutes in a commercial jewelry cleaner. You can make your own with equal parts of water and household ammonia. Use a soft brush to gently clean the front and back of the mounting. Then rinse and drain on tissue paper.

It is recommended that you bring your settings to a jeweler every year or so to make sure the settings are secure.

Wedding bands for men are a fairly recent innovation. Throughout history, men have been dominant and owned wives. There was no need for men to be burdened by symbols of marriage and commitment. Even after modern thinking outlawed all forms of slavery and polygamy, the fingers of men were still unadorned.

All of that changed during World War II. During the war it became fashionable for men to wear bands to remind them of the loving wives waiting back home. Use of wedding rings by men increased again during the Korean War. Today, most men wear wedding bands, regardless of military status.

The history of wedding rings date back many years. I found the thought of diamonds being forced to the earth’s surface through volcanic explosions would have been a sight to see even though most people had no idea they were even in the debris until later discovery.

My answer is yes and no. Let me explain and then you be the judge.

First off it depends on who you are working with and if you have preplanned all your options.

What does that mean? It means shopping more than one vendor for the items you want to have included the day of your wedding. Most all vendors will work with you to some degree.

If you visit a vendor and ask about their pricing for example, say flowers, they will first ask a few questions to find out what kind of wedding you are having and where. Is it formal? Is it an out door wedding? How many people will need bouquets, boutineers or arrangements for the ceremony/reception site. They have to start somewhere so they can give you prices.

To frame this in another way, it is like going in and buying a car. You tell the dealer “I want to buy a car”. Well, until you tell the dealer what kind of car or features it must have, he really doesn’t know what you need. He could take you out to the most expensive car on his lot and try to sell you. Will you be happy or buy? Maybe, but not likely.

You need to know what you want before you visit a wedding vendor. You also need to know your budget. If you go into a grocery store with no list, more than likely you will come out of the store with more than you intended to purchase. Having a list and budget in mind keeps you from over spending no matter what store or vendor you meet with.

OK, now a partial list of pitfalls to watch out for when planning your wedding and the hidden prices that go with them. After reading the list you should know how to shop any vendor.

Wedding Dress Alterations

Wedding dresses can be pretty pricey. Bridal shops don’t want to scare you off, but by not telling brides that alterations, for a custom fit, are not included in the price of the gown until after you pay is wrong. Someone has to spend time fitting your gown and that someone has to be paid for their time.

Look at it from your own angle. You wouldn’t expect your boss to pay you for working eight hours when you really worked nine would you? It is the same principle. Not mentioning it until you receive your pay check and then finding out what happen can tend to piss you off.

The only time alterations might be included in the price of the gown is when the price of the gown has been marked up to cover that expense. Beware if that is the case. This might only be for a minor alteration. A simple hem may run around $100.00 dollars. Rebuilding a bodice or moving zippers can send the price of the gown up even farther.

So how do you get around this added expense? Ask the store what the charges will be for each alteration for a custom fit. You can skip this all together if you don’t mind tugging or pulling your gown up all day. I’m thinking you will have better things to do with your hands though like hugging guests, eating cake…..and don’t forget the photos. An ill fitting gown will show it’s ugly head in all of your photographs.

You can also opt to take your gown to a seamstress who may or may not be less expensive. Again ask questions before purchasing the gown.

Just remember this is not the time for someone who says they can sew like your aunt Jane. If she has been altering gowns for years and knows how to handle the different fabrics, laces and beading then go for it. Always know who will be doing the alterations and what their experience level is before handing your gown over.

This one tip alone can save some tears and frustration. If anything happens, you most likely will be paying someone else to fix it. Not a fun thing to pay twice and the headache – we won’t go there.

If the alteration prices are more than you are willing to invest in a gown, shop around for another. Only you can be the judge with your money if this is thee gown.

Photographer/Vidoegrapher

These vendors or booked for a certain amount of time on your wedding day. If you run over the allotted time there will be added expenses. How much you ask? That depends how much they charge per hour. You may have bought a package, but if you extend that package unknowingly you will be stuck with extra charges when all is done and said. Pay attention to how your day is planned before hiring these vendors. Ask what the package includes and what is the cut off time before incurring extra expenses. You might want to delegate one person or couple to make sure vendors leave when their time is up to avoid surprise charges. You may be wrapped up in the day and over look little things like this.

Postage Stamps

What? Postage stamps? Yes. Stationers do not advertise shipping prices. If you knew that fancy large sized invitation was going to cost you around $2.00 to send, you would opt for a less expensive, smaller and cheaper version to say the same thing. Skip fancy boxed cards with all the fillers. They just add expense to your bottom line.

Rental Transport

This is a cost from any vendor that transports rental equipment such as tables, chairs, backdrops for decorating…. to your ceremony or reception site. You might think this would be included with the rental fee, but sometimes it is not. Unless you have a van or pick-up to haul these items yourself, ask if there are any fees before renting. If you wager in your gas and time, it may pan out. If not shop around. There may be other vendors that charge a bit more but transporting may be included in the price.

There are many vendors you will be visiting. Knowing a little bit about weddings and their prices before hand will keep you with in your budget. Always ask questions. What, if any, are the additional expenses you will incur by hiring or spending money with each vendor? Remember to read contracts carefully before signing. Have your spouse to be, family member or friend look them over as well . Sometimes in the excitement of planning, small things are often over looked.

Whether the wedding takes place in your home town or is a destination, there usually is some guests that will need accommodations. Some questions to keep in mind when checking out your accommodations are as follows:

• Will your wedding reception be in a resort or hotel ball room?
• Do you have family or guests traveling to your wedding?
• Estimate how many will need a place to stay?
• What will be the dates of arrival and departure?
• Will you stay longer than your guests?
• Who will be responsible for making arrangements for your guests?

When interviewing hotels for accommodations, keep notes of all correspondence, any information they provide or questions they might ask you in your wedding planner. Is is so much easier to go back and look up information after you have visited a number of vendors. Sometimes the mind forgets little details of importance.

Ask for business cards and brochures from all the hotels you visit. If one is definitely not in the running, toss it so it doesn’t get mixed in with the rest you are considering. Tour the hotels. You want to see what kind of accommodations and amenities your guests will be receiving.

If you are not visiting in person, have them send this information to you. Hotel brochures explain what is offered, rules, regulations and any exclusions.

Once you have toured the hotel, now is the time for some questions. You will want to know:

• How long they have you been accommodating wedding parties ?
• How many wedding guests have you served?
• Do they offer any different rates for accommodations (rooms – suites)?
• Do they offer a bridal package?
• Is there a discount for a block of rooms?
• Do they offer a free room for every so many rooms?
• Is there any transportation provided from and to the airport?
• What, if any, meals are included as part of your guests stay?
• Do they have a sufficient number of roll away beds to accommodate any children that may be attending?
• Do they provide an insured and bonded babysitting service?
• Are there any additional expenses that may be charged?
• How much and when will a deposit need to be made?
• What is the latest date for makiong changes or cancellations?

Ask for a written contract. Make sure it is dated. Read the fine print and check it to see if it includes any cancellation clause? Cancelling last minute may lose a deposit, however, if the cancellation is further out, they may be able to book your block for another occasion.

Most hotels give you three days to cancel after you sign the contract. Make sure the one you choose has it in writing.

If you plan your reception to take place at your hotel accommodations, there  is a good chance that they will accommodate your stay for the night before and/or the night after the wedding. If you ask, you’ll find out that many hotels and resorts provide this as part of their package.

If you ever have questions or do not understand anything verbal or written, ask more questions until you have the answers you need. With this information, you should be able to reserve your hotel accommadations knowing that all your needs are met.